Transcript of Giggling about boob jobs, body scans, and stoner energy

The attic, the extension, the extension on the extension, the good sitting room, the naughty step, the morally ambiguous lounge, various nukes, assorted crannies under the bed with the Monsters.

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I mean, the day just got away from me.

What's up, my golden gigglers? Wait, Grace said we have to do something professional. Okay. Oh, yeah. She said we have to promote her upcoming shows, Nashville, New Orleans, St. Augustine, Hollywood, Florida. Tacoma, Portland, Las Vegas, Salt Lake City.

Let's not forget we're performing at Radio City this week. I've been watching standups of people that have filmed them at Radio City just to watch the- Just to get the Just to get the vibes of the area.

It's funny. That would get me more nervous.

Yeah, I think it's back.

I feel like that's the worst thing you could possibly do.

That's crazy because I did take a beta blocker whilst watching it. I was like, Wow, that's going to be crazy.

It sucks, but I realized that life is just about not thinking about what you're doing because the second you're aware of what you're doing, you fuck it up. But you want to be able to think about what you're doing when you're doing it, but it turns out like- No, you want to live, but people don't let you. Look, everyone just get a lobotomy. Things will work out. That's the newest Speaking of surgeries, rest in peace to Denise Richard's breast augmentations.

Did she get a boob job?

Two of her breast implants- Exploded? Wait, ruptured. That was the word they used, which is- Ruptured. I'm scary as fuck. Ruptured during...

I wonder if you know right when it happens. Truly, I wonder if you can feel it inside of you of I just popped a bag.

When I was at a Tennis Academy, I had this huge muscle trainer, and he walks up to me one day and he's like, Whatever you do, don't get breast implants. I was like, I'm 14. Why are you saying that to me? It was so weird. And he goes, Because my girlfriend, she was trying to open the car and something poked her and it blew up her breast implant. I was like, Okay, noted. Thank you.

Here's another reason why I went against getting a boob job. If something is going to happen medically, I know it's going to happen to me. I know I'd be the type of body to be like, We don't want this, and like, Reject it. Rejecting it. That's what happened to Paris Hilton. She got a boob job like, years ago, and her body truly rejected them, and she got them taken out right away.

It's like me with cocaine.

Yes.

And weed and melatonin. I took a lumsie-gummi.

You know it's funny whenever I talk about you to people that don't know you, I always say, I'm like, She's so pure. No, she's never smoked a cigarette. That's the number one thing I said.

I realized if you just look at me, I look up a podhead. I haven't brushed my hair. I'm giggling and constantly snacking. Everything about me says podhead.

Everything about you says she's high. I mean, even your shirt right now, that's a stoner ass shirt.

No, I identify as a stoner. You are set through again.

You're like, I don't want kids. I just want to smoke weed.

Wait, What's the update?

I have something very important to bring up. I don't know if you know.

I don't know. Okay.

Let's say it was probably 2012, and I Not to brag. But one of my biggest modeling jobs would be shoe fit modeling because I am the perfect size seven. So I would go into showrooms, and when buyers were coming to buy certain lines of shoes shoes, I would be the model with the shoes on. So I would see the shoes before the next season of what they're buying. And I remember being there one time, and I was presented with a sneaker wedge. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm I'm in the process. What are these freaking shoes? I love them, and I made them give me a pair when I was done. So I was in Albany having zero business, rocking a fucking sneaker wedge. I was a wag. On the Loved it. They're coming back full force, and I just feel like you are the epitome... Sorry, Crock. Sorry, Crock. But I just feel like you are a sneaker wedge girly.

I feel like you just called me Miranda. Okay.

I have a lot of...

Let me process. Because I feel like sneaker wedges, they were in for a bit, but they were never considered.

They were in for a Yeah, they were never considered. They weren't in the country. No one wore them in Albany. I remember feeling like a freak. But in New York City, everyone wore them for a year.

I think I wore them. This is my thing. I love Crocs so much, and I love my heeled, wedgeed Crocs. So I don't know. If the right sneaker wedge comes across my desk, I will. You will partake. I'm into the sneaker loafers that New Balance. Everyone's been sending me, and I was like, Give me 17 of them right now.

Wait, I don't know if I've seen the sneaker loafer.

It's like a Silver New Balance, but as a loafer. Okay. Well, we have such different algorithms because this is the only thing on my algorithm right now.

Speaking of algorithm, It's a popular opinion.

Yeah, I know what you're going to say.

Really unpopular. I can't fucking wait for TikTok to be gone.

No Sam'sies.

I knew my life back. Everyone's like, I'm not going to learn anything.

I miss my family. I miss being dumb.

I miss not knowing a goddamn thing. Ignorance is bliss, and I enjoy it.

Everyone's posting the funniest stuff of me saying bye to my Chinese spy.

Or doing the Congress thing. It's like, Are you Chinese? No. So you are. No, I'm not.

What I do like about TikTok is it understands me more than anyone. But also what I hate about it is it understands me more than anyone.

It's intrusive.

Yeah, it's super intrusive. I like that it tells me what to buy. I don't want to have to search for what I need. It tells me you're going to like this. And I'm like, thank you. Give me 17 of them right now. But also with the mental health stuff, not to age ourselves, but we were the WebMD generation. You got a sniffle, you went on WebMD, it told you were going to die, and that was your fate. And before I had to search to be diagnosed with something, where now it just comes at you all day. You have sleep paralysis.

Do you eat cheese? Okay, you have a problem. It's like, oh, man.

Then with all the information, it's been crazy to see what size of TikTok I'll be on, where I'll be like, once you see three videos of people saying the same thing, you believe it.

Yes.

So the misinformation that spread is crazy, from beauty stuff to politics to current events. No one is above... If three of your friends say something, it's a thing. That's just a fact. Tiktok, for all the information that we've been able to spread that's been great has equally been the bullying and the lying.

I have to be honest, I have learned things on TikTok. Have I implemented them into my life? Certainly not. That would be crazy.

Have I saved 4,000 workouts and recipes that I've never once gone back on?

I've never once gone back to a workout, and I save a ton of them. I'm like, Oh, that's a good one to do at home.

Oh, 100%. I've sent it to you. I've been like, If I'm not going to use it, you're not going to use it either. I do feel bad for the people who blew up because they are so talented, and Hollywood would have never given them a time of day, but the people chose them, and they were able to grow that.

I just think it has significantly impacted my mental health based on alone, the amount of time I spend on it. When I get off TikTok at night to fall asleep, I have to sit there for 20 minutes and decompress a little. One of my favorite things to do is decompress, but it's too over-stimulating, and I'm actually ready to have my nights back.

But sometimes TikTok, the algorithm is bad. I saw a video of a girl with a mustache, and she's like, Would you date the male version of yourself? So I watched it and it was funny. But then it showed me 30 more videos of that. I'm not that interested in that. That's my thing now. Show me girls with mustaches. Look, there's pros and cons, but not to get big picture here, but I feel like I have a niece. I'm an aunt. She's very important. I FaceTime her all the time and then hang up when she gets cranky. She is given strict screen time things, and there's proven studies about the development of your brain. I think it's starting with kids, but I think in 10, 20 years, adults are going to be put on a A screen thing.

I think if people aren't already, people will be going to rehab for...

Pumina right now?

No, actually, Pumina right now.

I never get mad about a social media app closing because we all know social media is not good for us.

Something else will pop up. People will be fine.

People will be fine. People are telling people where to go, which is it feels like when you're waiting for a train and you don't know what the train is going to be, and then they announced the train and everyone starts running towards the train track.

I will say as a group of millennials, we are funny on there. We've never been more together as a country knowing that something's going away. I'm happy for the camaraderie.

Oh, all the millennials are happy?

No, I'm saying everyone's band together of being like, this app is going to be gone soon. Save whatever the fuck you want. People are being really funny on it, and I appreciate that.

It's funny because mine is people crying. Really? Because it's the LA Fires, which are so fucked up. So fucked up. And then a 22-year-old crying about TikTok. And I'm like, let's get our priorities in order.

Which, Giggly Squad, we just designed a T-shirt for the LA Fires, and we're going to give all the proceeds to a charity that we pick. If you guys have any charities that you're really passionate about, send them to us.

Yeah, we're vetting because I feel like it's If we're going to give money, I want to give it to the right places.

Right, and make sure it's going to where you actually say it's going to. Sometimes these big ones, I'm like...

Is it hitting the right people? Yeah.

I mean, look, GoFundMe's are great, but you really do have to check them out.

Make sure it's a friend who knows the person. Because during strifling times, is that a crazy way to describe it? What does strifle mean? Chris, what does strifle mean?

Strifling times? I don't think that's a word.

It's not a real word, first of all.

Urban Dictionary. You're talking about stifling.

Urban Dictionary says a combination of the word strife and trifle. Strife meaning difficulty, trifle meaning not really very important. Maybe not strifling. Definitely not strifling. Definitely not. Wait, strifling is my life, though. Not important?

No, I've been strifling. No, I'm not getting me. I've been strifling for two weeks now. I'm not okay.

Wait, can we normalize strifling?

The origin is Italian. If you use it in a sentence.

Being really upset about things that don't matter. No, but I didn't realize everyone I know lives in LA.

It's crazy. It's devastating. I couldn't imagine. I just couldn't imagine.

It is so funny, too, with all the technology, and we're so advanced. We have cyber trucks that, first of all, we can't figure out how to turn on a TV with less than two remotes. Second of all, that something so basic as fire, we can't. Yeah, they couldn't. It's almost where the world will always beat us. The environment will always be like, got you, bitches.

No, they didn't have water.

No, it's so scary. That's so fucked. And there's nothing you could do. But shout out. I feel like... In LA, everyone needs to remember, it's huge mansions and famous people, and then tons and tons of normal fucking people with houses.

The Pacific Palestates, I feel like those houses, that's such a nice area that I feel like those houses are passed down generation to generation. People have lived there for years. It's not just like, celebrities. It's like, those are family homes.

Also, New Yorkers, we all live in tiny apartments. So when people are like, We lost our house, I'm like, Holy shit.

Holy shit. Someone posted and was like, I don't own jeans anymore. And it's like, Oh, my God. I could not imagine losing everything in a fire.

It's just so sad. Also, if you're there, they're just saying the air quality is so fucking bad. It's like, don't be a hero, wear a fucking mask.

Yeah, truly.

We're going full mom on people. I hope Denise Richards' boobs are okay.

Oh, and that's how we started.

She ruptured both her boobs. I watched Anora.

You did. Okay, wait, when you were talking about it on the pod, I thought you had watched it.

No, I don't talk about things that I've watched.

And I don't talk about things that I know.

So we're on the same page. Now, my one note for Anora was that I think I was being a little like, I'm from Brooklyn. I'll tell you how to talk if you're from Brooklyn. And part If I were to give her accent, I'd be like, I don't know if that hit. Because something like water, she'd be like, Water. Yeah.

Once I watched it, I knew what you were saying.

You could just tell that she was a girl from LA doing a very good Brooklyn accent.

She's a phenomenal But I was also like, for her to go from, Hi, I'm Mikey Madison.

I'm so excited to be a part of this film, to talking like this, you motherfucker. Honestly, it was low-key dream rule for me. I think I was jealous. I was like, That was for me.

It's so big of you to admit that. That's how I feel about Ariana Grande. I'm just maybe jealous of her. I'm like, I don't want her to be Audrey Hepburn because I wanted her to be me.

No, but people are saying that she's dressing like Aubrey Hepburn. Audrey. Did I call her Aubrey? That's a guy. That would have been... I'm so sorry.

It's okay. It's not my mom or anything.

Aubrey would have changed her whole brand. Whole brand. Yeah, but she's dressing like with the little bang and stuff.

Which I did first at the CFDA Awards, but... We're not comparing. We're not getting a score. No, we're not.

For anyone in a relationship, not you, for Oh, sorry.

You're not in a relationship anymore.

I was on stage and I have a joke about how I never... I'm going to say it. How no one asked me when I'm going to have kids and that me and you will be getting interviewed and they'll be like, Paige, when are you going to move to Charleston? And then the crowd groaned and I was like, Rest in peace. And everyone was like, Oh. And I'm like, But then they'll look at me and then go back and be like, Paige, when are you to move to Charleston? I'm like, I'm fully married.

No one has any question about me.

But also I do have to say it is so hard to be in a public relationship. Doesn't I thrive by people not asking us questions about us? Right now. We don't have... Imagine having your worst friends commenting on what they think your relationship's about. That's what the internet is.

Or what you're doing. I'm like, wait a moment.

Imagine your shittiest friends hanging out with you and you're not telling them anything about what's going on with you, but they saw you. And then they go in the cab and talk to their friend gossiping about you, what they think is going on, and you can hear it. That's the internet.

No, the internet is literally someone texting you accidentally about yourself and then trying to cover it up when you say something.

But based off of no information.

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Holiday deal, sorted. Tui, Live Happy. Offer terms and conditions apply. My favorite thing actually this whole weekend was people were mad at me for a lot of things, but none of them had to honestly pertain to me. But the one thing that did pertain to me, that was actually true. Whereas people were like, Oh, she thinks that she's a New Yorker. She's from Albany. First of all, yes, I am from Albany. And second, I am a New Yorker because I've lived here for 10 years. But thirdly, they were like, A true New Yorker would never wear an Eagles-like outfit or another team. I just want to say, I'm a fair-weather fan. If there's one thing- You were never out here saying, I represent New York sports. No. If there's one thing about me, I don't give a fuck about your sports.

One thing about me, if the color matches my shoes, I'm wearing it.

If my friend sends me a dope jacket to any team, I'm wearing it. Kristen, can we shout out to Kristen?

I'm not trying to turn it on people, but do you not support-Women in the Arts?Women in the Arts and small businesses, actually, huge businesses, but do you not support women entrepreneurship?

No, I think that Kristen is going-Female founded companies? I genuinely think that she is going to become a billionaire on her own.

Wow, I just got titulated.

I think she just changed the whole course of NFL.

Can you Google titulated? I feel like that was the wrong word, too.

No, that actually I think was right.

No, but it got me so excited because she's so fucking talented and What does it mean, Chris? It means stimulator excited, especially in a sexual way. Yeah.

Yeah, that was right. That was fucking accurate. No, and the other thing is she's so fucking nice and gracious and sweet. She DM me and she was like, I want to send you a Jack, and I was like, Send me whatever one you want. And then I was going to the Eagles game and I was like, Perfect. My outfit's going to hit.

Wait, Kristen, I will buy it. Can I buy a Knicks or a Mets?

No, she only does NFL. But she's going to expand. She will expand.

She's expanding as we speak.

No, as we speak, she's taking over the world.

What I was going to say about relationships that you wouldn't know about is that my latest thing is, yeah, the concept of keeping score. I was talking to my friend who was like, You ever feel like he accuses you of this, and then you didn't do that? It's a lot of like, If you're keeping score, that's on you. I'm not keeping score. And this goes from little household chores to whatever. And just My biggest advice for marriage is a reminder that you're not competing. You both are on the same team, and the second you guys start keeping score against each other, that's a fight ready to happen. 100%. So my new line is, Are you keeping score? Because I'm not keeping score.

Yeah, I can count that high.

I'm illiterate and I don't know numbers.

Here's the other thing. I don't care.

Period. No more time to keep score. We are strifling out in these streets.

No, I'm strifling. Wait, let's... So Saturday morning.

We try so hard not to get in trouble. It's actually a miracle. It's not a miracle. I truly try so hard.

I'm like, Oh, I'm not even doing anything.

We will listen to pause. We'll be like, Did we say anything to attack anyone.

I really need us weekly in People magazine and Page 6 to stop listening to Giggly Squad and taking the craziest things and writing an article because it's like, We're joking about everything. So I wake up Saturday morning and I'm getting a FaceTime from Hannah Berner, and I answer it, and there's Marcelo Hernandez. We're on a three-way. I said, Wow. Did you feel- I got nervous. I go, shoot, I did something. You guys keep me scoring. Right in the moment, I go, I did something. I said something. What the fuck did I say?

Wait, I saw your face. You looked... Because with me, you never feel like you're in trouble. You literally were like, What did I do? What did I do?

When I told this story about how I texted Marcelo and I said, Oh, yeah, and he was like, Fuck, yeah. I didn't mean to make it sound like that was a direct quote from Marcelo. When I initially told Marcelo that everyone thought that I cheated on my boyfriend with him, his initial reaction was, L-O-L, what? And then he never responded again. But in the story, I was like, Yeah, he didn't give a fuck. He was like, Fuck, yeah. Who cares? Then articles come out being like, Marcelo's exact quotes after he found out. Marcelo was like, You're really fucking me over here. And so I felt so bad.

No, he was being so funny. He goes, So you said when the rumor came out that we were dating, I responded and said, Fuck yeah? I've never said, Fuck yeah. I would never say, Fuck yeah. I go, Sorry, did you say kick ass? What did you say exactly?

He said, L-O-L, what? Who is this?

He goes, How did you get my number? He did not say, Fuck yeah.

Anyway, that was a bomb I had to diffuse over the weekend. I only got 7,000 more. I'm like, I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I just wanted to wear a cool jacket.

But we did have fun with our dads at the next game. It was like a full circle moment. We got those tickets. We took our dad to those games.

Yeah, we got those tickets because the owner of MSG owns Radio City. And so because we sold out Radio City two days in a row, they were like, Oh, here are some next tickets. And obviously, we were like, We'll bring our dads.

Yeah, and Paige the time was making fun of our brothers being like, Where are they now?

And your dad loved it. The only thing I cared about that night was making your dad laugh. And I did it in the first half, and I was like, I can go home.

Do you feel like when you're hanging out with my dad, it was like hanging out with me at all?

Exactly. Are we not the same person? No, everyone was saying like, Oh, my God. Our dads are so us-coated. I loved it so much. Me and my dad's outfits actually match. His shoes match my jacket. And you and your dad were very sports.

So Paige's dad and Paige are sitting and so calm, collected, look great.

Wait, I have another story. No, keep going.

Oh, no, I know what you're going to say. Okay.

So then my dad is... I would say that I have a very split personality of I can be my dad, and then I can also be my mom. But the majority, I would say I am my dad. Yeah, same. And So when he's out in public, I know he gets socially anxious and awkward. And here's the other thing, he can't hear very well. So he gets even more nervous that he's not going to be able to hear what someone's saying to him, and he's not going to- He's also a little shy.

He's not trying Oh, he's so shy. He's extremely shy. Where my dad is like, The party's here.

Unless you fully know my dad, he's not showing his personality. He's Black Cat.

And he likes a one-on-one. When I'm one-on-one with him, he's chatty, chatty, chatty. But if we're in a group, he plays security guard. He stands by the door. He makes sure everyone is okay.

He's looking at the exits. He also does not do things with my mom. This was a really big deal for him.

To even- Without your mom.

Yeah, without my mom. To go somewhere and my mom not be involved. He was anxious.

The funniest moment was he turns to my dad and he's like, So you guys eat a lot of Italian food? My dad was like, I mean, yeah. And he goes, But every night is your wife making Italian food? And my dad's like, Not every night. I mean, we have Chinese sometimes He goes, Yeah, Kim likes Chinese, but I just want to eat her Italian food. I was like, This is the sweetest conversation.

If someone ever suggests a different cuisine, he goes, I feel like we're wasting our time. He goes, Why would we eat that and waste our time when we could eat Italian food.

It was so U-coded as we all went up. My dad and I ran to the buffet because we were like, We're getting our money's worth. These people are going to lose money on us at the buffet. I look at your dad and he was like, I'll just sit here. I'm a little... I'm not in the mood to eat right now. He was too over stimulated.

He was too He was like, I'll watch you back. You go get food. He didn't even walk over to the buffet. But when we were sitting there- My dad got ice cream before dinner.

He was having the best time of his life. He's like, My wife isn't around. We're getting ice cream before dinner.

When we got to our seats, my dad got sat next to Billy Baldwin, who I turned to my dad and I was like, Hey, dad, just so you know, this is Billy Baldwin. He like this and this and this. And he was like, Okay. He was the nicest guy ever. He talked to my dad the whole game. My dad, I felt like this was my son, and I was dropping him off to preschool, and I was like, It's okay. These are going to be your friends. He's sitting to my right. He's holding on to my jacket sleeve while he's talking to Billy Baldwin because I could tell he was nervous. And so I turned to my dad and I was like, Can you not hear him? Or do you want me to also be in the conversation? Are you nervous? He was like, No, I'm okay. I just wanted it. I was his security blanket. I literally went home and I cried thinking about it because I was like, That was so sweet.

Our dads are so opposite. We were sitting next to two actors, and my dad never stopped to think like, Oh, maybe these are famous actors.

He's shooting the shit with them. Wait, the guy, I love him. He's in...

I think it's Skyler. Righteous Gemstones. Righteous Gemstones. Which I hadn't seen, but I recognized him. He's so good.

His girlfriend was so nice. Wait, you have to watch Righteous Gemstones. It's really funny.

I have to. But my dad, the ball goes into Skyler's hands and you have to give it back. So he gives it back and my dad's like, Well, you're not going to let me touch it? And then Skyler... So he's busting balls with him. He's like, You're not going to let everyone in line touch it. You just throw it back.

No, we took our sons to the game.

So then Skyler starts laughing hysterically. They have a whole thing. Next time, they The ball bounces again. Skyler gets to gives it to my dad. My dad's spinning it on his finger, having the best time. The time of his life. Time of his life. Me and my dad had one beer. We were drunk and we're trying to get the players to look at us. We were like, Jalen, you're doing great. Did you notice me? That's what we did the whole time. It was so much fun.

No, it was a great time. It was super...

Oh, can I make a PSA? There was a video going around of someone filming us, and it got to me, and I gave him the finger. Not that everyone thought it was a giggler, but that was not a giggler. I would never give the finger to a giggler unless that was an inside joke. That was Chris Estefano, who deserved the finger. Of course. He's another comedian, and he was was infringing on my personal space, and he wanted the finger. So I gave him what he wanted.

No, I love a Nicks game.

We love a Nicks game. We did wave to Chris and Trey Song, so that we were waving on him. So now we're in a band with Trey Song. And the neighbors know my name.

So that happened. No, I'm literally Trey Song's backup singer. I'm obsessed. No, but we had It was a great time, and we definitely have to go back. One thing we didn't mention last week is the Giggly Squad cult got nominated for podcast of the Year.

With iHeart.

Which, you know what's so crazy is- We've never been nominated for anything. No, I do forget that we have a podcast.

That people listen.

Yeah. Unless we do an episode where I drop seven bombs and walk away, then I notice it because I'll get the girls we'll be chatting. But week to week, when we're just shooting the shit, I do forget.

We're people's inside joke. They don't talk about it on the internet. It's just we're in their head.

We're all besties. We're just inside joke girlies. When I saw that we got nominated for podcast of the year, it was a very surreal moment. I think the awards are at South by Southwest. But to vote, you have to make a profile, which I know is annoying.

You have to get a... I have to be honest, I haven't voted yet because was like, you have to sign up for iHeart.

No, the admin, I was like, guys, no gigglers are doing this. Give it to someone else.

If we've ever brought you joy, and I will do it right after this, there's a link. Press it, put a username password for iHeart, vote for Giggly Squad as your favorite podcast, and then we'll party till dawn.

I mean, we'll go to bed at 9:00 PM. 9:00 PM. Yeah. No, so I think that was like, we didn't even talk about it. We're so humble.

No, I just I thought it was a scam.

Me too. Do you listen to any podcasts?

When I used to walk to work and have a 9:00 to 5:00, I needed a podcast or music in my ear. I feel like with our job now, it's hard I'll listen to one of a lot of different people.

I don't have one that I'm like, I have to listen to this every week.

I'm the same way. I do one offs. I'm also nerdy. I like entrepreneurial pods, how they built this and that stuff, or girls who started a brand.

A couple of months ago, I listened to Mariana Hewitt on a podcast, and I was like, I'm obsessed with you.

I love that stuff. Or I like comics talking about how they made a joke.

Yeah. No, those are... Here's a good one. Here's the other thing. I listen to our pod every week.

And that's where you're sick in the head. That's where your brain needs to be studied because- I listen to it every week. I can't listen to my own voice. And kudos to all of you who listen to me every week. Thank you. I can't.

You know it's funny. I thought about this the other week. I usually don't like the sound of my own voice either. But I remembered when I... Remember when you were little, we had answering machines, like legit machines?

Yeah, and you'd be like, Beep. Just kidding. People would do the most insane voicemails.

I would beg my mom every day, let me redo the answering machine. And she would always let me. And there was something about pressing record. I would do it in a Jersey accent. I would do it in a British accent. I would come up with these different ideas of what the answering machine should be. And I was obsessed with it. And then I was like, wait, I host a podcast now.

That was your practice to become a podcaster.

I was like, Mom, record. I'm ready.

I remember that I had one that was literally me giggling, which is so obviously us coded. It was me being like,. And I did that in college, and then I started to apply for jobs. And I remember my mom being like, Hey, you have professional people calling you and you're just giggling in your voicemail. Can you I have more professional. I think I still... I haven't redone it for 20 years.

No, I wish my family saved that machine. I mean, I was seven years old and I was like, I think I could do a British accent. My question to you. Literally because I watched the parent trap once.

Now that you're single, are you going to go to bars and pretend you have a different accent and name? Have you ever done that? Yes. What is with girls loving to do that? Being like, I'm British, my name is Annie tonight.

It's just really freeing because I feel like you already know you're not... It's for the emotionally unavailable.

A hundred %. And it's for... It's stressful to be yourself. It's almost like when you act as a character, you're completely like, do whatever you want because you're like, That's not me. He didn't reject me. He rejected Annie, who's honestly stuck up.

Well, you know what's funny? Because I feel like I talk to so many... I'm in my DM's recently, too, because the girls are sending a lot of... Motivation on. Things. Being with the girls that are single in their early 30s, one of the biggest things is we're not in our 20s anymore. So it's not that you can't be single the way you were in your 20s. You can do whatever you want, but you almost don't want to be. When I got single at 28, I was like, catch me in every single club that exists in New York City. I was there. You could find me in a club.

Now I'm like, I would pass away. I was just in my own head.

I don't know how you did that. If I went to a club till 4:00 AM, I'd literally pass away. So it is weird thinking of like, okay, well, what am I going to do being single? I've done a couple of dinners with my girlfriends. I haven't gone out yet. A mind must have occupation or it will come to mischief. Jane Austen's Emma, adapted by Kate Hamel and directed by Claire O'Reilly. Is at the Abbey Theater until the 25th of January. There'll be gossip, dancing, and scandals galore as this classic comedy comes to life in a whole new way. Get your Emma tickets from €15.00 at AbbeyTheater. Ie. On sale now. Funded by the Arts Council.

I remember when I was on Dating Apps, when I first started Summer House, guys were already referencing things or quoting stuff, and it was weird because you felt like, Oh, they already think they know me, and I don't love that I have to battle whatever image they think they have of me. You're going to have to deal with that 100 times worse. Can I- Yeah, I don't want to. If any of these magazine people are listening, can I make a statement?

Yeah, I would love it.

I love how I want to make statements.

No, before we started the pod, Hannah goes, Okay, now look alive, don't say anything bad. And you're like, actually, I've got two things.

No, I just want to talk about breakups. I don't look at the comments or anything, but can we normalize not being completely destroyed after a breakup? I feel like everyone thinks that when girls get broken up with or they have a breakup, that's the saddest thing ever. It's actually so empowering. I've been joking how when girls go through a breakup, they're glowing the fuck up. They suddenly become like Pilates instructors. They're going to revert. They change everything. They've read 100 books.

They're asking their friends- You said a really important quote this morning. You said, If someone sees a breakup and they immediately think, what did the girl do? That's mental illness. No, that's so scary.

For relationships, it takes two to tango.

In the history of anyone breaking up, when has the girl ever done anything?

No, but there's rarely one person that's the devil and one's great. Then why would you be together for so long? But I do have to say I I feel like also in terms of reflecting, I feel like girls after breakups will talk to their friends and be like, How did I end up in this? How can I do better? What's the thing? And then guys will sit together and be like, Who would win in a fight, a bear or a tiger? I do have to say for anyone going through a breakup right now, breakups to me are corporate jobs. You're not actually going to get a raise unless you leave and get another job. You guys, I was 29, single during COVID, living with my mom, dad, and four cats. And she looked at me. She looked at me and she had that honest mom moment where she was like, do we want to... Is there anything you could have done differently? And I looked her right in the eye and I said, nobody got away.

Yeah, I feel like that, too.

Nobody got away.

Have you ever been broken up with?

The only times I've been broken up with have been messy situationships. You know the two month there that it goes?

Oh, a situation. Oh, a situation will fuck me up.

I I've never... Someone said to me, Oh, are your exes reaching out now that you got a Netflix special or whatever? All my real relationships that have been over a year have been two people who know each other that I've gotten out of. Thank God.

I one I'm more into situationship that was two months for three years.

No, no. Those are the ones because you don't actually know them.

Yeah, so I made up a whole scenario about this man.

I don't think anyone's been upset about a breakup once you know the person because you're like, Yeah, I'll miss that, but also that. I You're the guys who I fully have been so into that my mom was like, Can you break up with them? And I would be like, Okay. And then you find someone else. But I've definitely- In the wise words of Kimberly Noel, Kardashian, I didn't come this far to come this far and not be happy.

And I think she saw it on the internet. Someone else said it and she saw it.

Thomas Jefferson. No, I just think there's such a media perspective of girls sobbing in the shower and being like, I'm nothing without him.

Here's one thing I wanted to talk. I've been talking to the girls in my DMs. I have so many girls that are going through breakups right now. I also think I push them to do it.

To get a cat, break up with your boyfriend.

It is crazy to see some friends just like, See you. Like poof. If this was what it was to get you out of my life, God, thank you for protecting me. Thank you for steering me in a direction where certain people are just falling off.

That's your 30s.

I'm so interested to see if the other girls in their 30s that are going through breakups, if any of their friends that they didn't think would turn on them, turned on them, because that's also a very weird headspace to be in.

I feel like in your 20s, when your friends turn on you, you go, Oh, no. What can I do to get them back? I suck. I need to be cooler. I I need to be funnier. What's wrong with me when you're 30s, when people show you who they really are, you go, Oh, thank God. I almost had them in my inner circle. I was like, wait. I almost told them my hopes and dreams.

I go, I got you out of my life for free. I go, Bitch, that was the best thing you could have ever said to me.

See you. And I do have to say, sometimes those people will come knocking back. But when you love yourself, you go, oh, I will never forget. When I was down being kicked down dead horse, you kicked me.

So many people have lost complete access to me, and I love it.

It's honestly so free.

You can still be alive and be dead to me. Okay? And I won't even mourn it, but I'll have a funeral.

Wait, I sent you a funny meme. Oh, Wait. What?

So me and Hannah went and did those full body MRI scans. We have a code for the gigglers. We'll put it in the newsletter.

Did you go to yours? Yeah. Okay, so this is prenuvo report.

It was on 34th and sixth. It's so crazy because before I went, one of my friends was like, Oh, my God, are you claustrophobic? And I was like, I guess we'll find out when I'm in there. Me and Hannah went at different times. Hannah was already in there, and then I went in. But when we both got out, we were like, I'll take a nap.

I loved it. This was like, was it scary? I was like, I've never felt more protected. I was watching the Jerry Springer documentary.

I watched Sex in the City.

They put Netflix on.

It was so loud. Obviously, there's a lot of machinery I almost fell asleep. I would have fallen asleep if they didn't come over the loudspeaker and say, You have to hold your breath right now. I was like, I was almost hitting rem.

I did fall asleep the last 10 minutes, and it was the most peaceful sleep I've had in a while. No, it was so peaceful. The thing with these body scans is when do you scan your whole body? Even when you're getting an MRI, it's normally just a specific part. So this is a full body, just checking to see if there's anything going on.

It took about an hour. You lay there, you go in and out of this machine. There were certain parts where you had to have the same breathing pattern. But all in all, it was one of the easiest experiences. Then they send you your update. So I just opened mine. Oh, my God.

Okay, so it's organized versus nervous system.

How many findings, two? I had four.

Okay, click on it. Wait, are we going to find out something crazy right now?

These are small, less than 5 millimeter white spots seen in your white matter of the brain. This finding is relatively common in people over the age of 30, and the number of spots can increase slowly, if at all, with aging. These are generally asymptomatic, although in some people, there's a slight correlation to migraine. The exact cause of these cannot be determined. Do you have migraines? I don't, but I thought it was going to be like, You're crazy.

See, I got spondyliarthropy of the cervical spine. Mild degenerative changes in your... Like their bulges at C3, 4, C5, 6, and C6, 7. With a mild central canal stenosis. These mild do not need a follow-up if you have no symptoms. But I think it's okay. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to check it with Dez's because we'll see what does has. What else are you reading?

Okay, my next one was I had one respiratory finding, one minor finding.

What is it?

Consistent with S-I-N-U-S-I-T-I-S.

Oh, sinuitis.

Sounds like an Italian town that literally was killed by lava.

Back in Rome, sinusitis was... What is it?

Just inflammation or infection in one more of the in the head.

Oh, so you have a little sinus infection. I have a deviated septum, which is crazy because I only did coke once and I immediately got a nosebleed.

We have one reproductive finding.

Okay, what is it?

A small amount of fluted Nicole DeSac is normal. Discuss the finding with your doctor. If you have... Oh, I bet I have a cyst. Oh, my God. I think I have a cyst.

Or is that a baby?

Hannah.

It looks like a head. Yeah, because who would have been with?

Now, fuck me up. Tiktok. Page 6, why don't you chill? It's just- We knew that you've had PCLS. I do. I have this. Yeah, so it's not that crazy, but- What's the thickness of your endometrial thickness? Where do you see that?

I have it in my reproductive system because I just got it It's an informational finding. It says, My endometrial thickness is measured at 5 millimeters. I just want to know if that's tiny or big.

I don't have measurements.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't important. I have one musculoskeletal... Wow, I love the people at Pernuvo are probably like, These girls are too dumb to explain.

No, the people were so nice there, too.

They were so nice. Oh, yeah. So they're giving us $300 off for the gigglers.

Okay, Amazing.

And we're going to put it in the newsletter, but I think it's Giggly Squad. No, it's pernuvo. Com/giggly Squad. I have a musculotelital thing. What is that? We detected a region of bursitis. What's that? There was a region of bursitis located in the subcora coin, burst of your right shoulder. This is a benign condition. It's probably from serving really hard. From being a fucking beast on the court.

Period. Serving. Wait, not to bring up that I wasn't allowed to be out of the house yesterday, but when I was at the Eagles game, there was someone on the team, not that I know any fucking people. There's someone on the team and their last name is Slay Junior. I was obsessed.

If you guys have never seen the Key & Peel sketch. Chris. If you guys have never seen the Key & Feel sketch of football last names. It's the funniest shit you'll ever see on the internet.

Wait, Chris was so cute earlier. He said, Can he come to Giggly Squad Live on Friday?

Wait, so we're doing a Chris reveal. I already told you you have to come.

Legally. He's going to bring a friend, too, so he's not by himself.

I don't know if we have space for him to bring a friend. It's sold out. We'll have to talk to our people. I'll kill my friend. It's fine. Don't kill me. Fuck that friend. Who's your friend? I don't know. I hadn't picked one yet. I don't know if I had that privilege yet. Yes, of course, you can bring a friend, but preferably not bad energy. We've already said-Imagine Chris just brings this fucking douchebag who's like, You guys aren't even funny.

Heckles us on the crowd.

He's just heckling us the whole I'm like, Is that just Chris's friend that we told him he shouldn't bring? We're doing a Chris reveal for Radio City. Also, my Nana is coming. She already has her dress. She's so funny. She bought... She was like, Can to get me these boots because I wanted to get her shoes for it. She was like, make sure they're pointed toe where I won't wear them. I was like, you are page.

Same.

But like, same zes. Imagine being 83 and being like, I'm not wearing your not pointed boots.

Hannah, one of my favorite moments from your fucking wedding was Nana complaining about her shoes and how she just was like, I just can't believe I have to wear these.

Oh, yeah, because she had a stroke. She also broke her hip. She's had breast cancer and she refuses to wear flats.

She wants to wear stilettos. The woman still dyes her hair, does full fucking glam, shows off her decoletage.

I'm obsessed. Where's a choker? Has a She's matching choker for every outfit. They don't make them like her anymore. She's stunning. But also it's the day that she doesn't want to wear stilettos, that's when I know there's a problem. So Nana, wear your stilettos even though you literally don't have a hip. That's cold athleticism. No, it has. I don't know where I get my thoughts from.

She's like, I don't have toes anymore, but I'm going to wear it. Are you okay? Speaking of, I think I did something... I've been so to Pilates. I think I have a cyst in my wrist.

Well, you just got a skin and you don't.

I don't know if they caught it.

Or is it a recent cyst?

I think it's recent.

How often are you doing Pilates?

I've been trying to go three times a week because I'm out here.

Good for you. See, this is post-breakup. It just gets you going.

I even got a shout out in class the other day. Page Good Form. I said, What? I was so excited. I said, That's never happened to me before in my life.

Are you going to do Y7 with me one of these days?

I will. I've been doing New York Pilates because I had bought a package from them a couple of months ago that I literally never used.

I also sent you this YouTube. I'll put it in the newsletter. This girl does a 30-minute Pilates that you could just do at home. You just need a yoga mat and maybe wait.

I did it one morning. It was so... It was really good. I was dying. Actually, Joey Kamosta texted me and was like, I want to be a hot Pilates girl. And so I sent him my number and I was like, Come anytime. I need more gays. As a single woman, I need more gays. Yes, 100%. If you're We're gay and looking, so am I.

Wait, should there be an app for straight girls to connect with gay boys? Yeah.

Now, that's a dating app? I'd immediately go on.

Wait, how has no one thought about that?

Because there is something so much more humbling when a gay man in my life calls me and tells me what the fucking deal is.

Would you rather a straight guy not like you or a gay guy not like you? Would you rather a straight guy not be interested or a gay guy be like, I'd rather talk?

I don't give a fuck about the straight man. If a gay man said, I'm just not really down with Paige.

How do you think I feel every gangly squad live when a gay guy takes a microphone and goes, Hi, Hannah. Hi, Paige. Paige, I'm obsessed I see you. Hi, Hannah.

No, there's something with me and gay men. I just feel like... Because obviously I am very girly, but I'm also very snarky. Sometimes girls I don't have that same humor. And I think having a brother-Gay men loved my special.

I think gay men who didn't see my Netflix special don't understand me is what I'm telling myself. But I do have a gay male following. It's just, I think, different male gaze than yours.

Yeah. I don't know what it is.

Oh, also the lesbians messaged me and someone said that me and you are a lesbian couple.

Yeah, just not sexually.

Not sexually, but we are a lesbian couple and that you're a femme icon, 100% in the lesbian community. They were just like, We all just talk about you guys.

You're like the Ruby Rose of our relationship and I'm like, Portia.

When we hold hands, my hand is facing down. You know that the girl is like, I'm not going to go.

You're my boyfriend.

100%. That's why when everyone's like, who's Paige going to date? I'm like, She's good. She's in a happy relationship. She's been in a happy relationship, has supported and cares for her.

No, I'm obsessed. We're obsessed with MRIs and the gaze.

And if Us Weekly says, Paige Sorbo and Hannah Berna are dating, see you in court. See you in motherfucking court. Put that on the record, motherfuckers. Oh, my God. Anyway, yeah. Thank you so much for giggling with us. I added a show in Irvine. Hopefully, we'll be able to do it. And Alabama.

Catch us outside.

In Connecticut. How about that? Catch us outside. And we can't wait for Radio City. Yes. Bye. Bye.