Transcript of Giggling about child stars, drones, and bad bosses

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What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix the WiFi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

What's up? My Got you, gigglers. I'm saying it again.

Because it's never not funny.

It's never not funny. Someone was like, Can you guys stop saying got you? We said it for one and a half episodes. Buckle the fuck up.

Imagine living with me. I literally imagine living with me. Daphné is so... Let's start the pot off with Daphné and I in our first fight.

What is going on? Who is in trouble? Who did what?

You know what's so crazy is because the past I've been with Daphné now for seven days. The past six days, I've been like, Daphné, isn't this amazing? We're literally going to be together every single day for the rest of our lives. The tour is over. I'm literally just obsessed with her. We're really vibing. This morning, she's laying on the ground, and I wake up, and I'm like, Come up here, you crazy kid. Get in the bed. You silly ghost? Yeah, you silly ghost. What are you doing down there? She gets in. We're Like, nuzzling or loving. She goes to the end of the bed. She turns around. She's staring at me, and I'm like, What's going on? She's peeing on my bed whilst I'm in it, and I'm like, What's going on? What's going on? Why are you two? I'm literally talking to her as if she's a human. I'm like, why are you doing this right now? What happened? I think something's wrong with her. Then she takes a massive shit.

On the bed? And I'm just running around.

I'm like, what is the I have to take a procedure. I've only ever walked into it after it's been done. I've never been in the midst of it. I have to strip my bed. I have to bring everything to the dry cleaner, put all the sheets in the wash.

I was like- I am so sorry because this should not be happening. This is not in the cat rulebook.

I'm googling everything. I'm like, What's going on with her?

She's mad at you?

I don't know if she's mad at me for something that I did because the only thing is digestive or her litter box is dirty, and her litter box is literally never dirty. It's sparkling. She's been on the same food for weeks.

She's literally fine. She's drinking Evian.

I introduced her to wet food weeks ago. She was acclimated. She loves it. She's fine. I think she's just literally sometimes a bitch.

It doesn't make sense, though. The only time that this has happened to me with cats is my first cat, Trixie. Yes, she was named a stripper, and we love sex work on this pod. We love sex work. When I went to college. When I went to... She went to college. Butters. Okay, I'm so tired right now.

Here's the craziest part. She went to cat college. I know I know exactly everything you just said. I literally know exactly.

I don't even have to finish the story. You guys know what I was saying. I go to college and Trixie just shot in my room. It's just one poop just saying, Fuck you, Bitch, this is what you do to me. That's how I feel. Got you. Then Butter, when I was shooting Summer House, it was the first time I would leave her for three or four days, even though I have a cat sitter. And she peed in my laundry twice because it smelled like me and she was like, You?

Okay, well, then I started spiraling because I was like, What would she be mad about? And I was like, I have been here for seven days, and this is the time when I would leave. And I'm like, Does she want to be alone.

She's too much like her mom. Or maybe she thinks you might leave. She's traumatized.

I don't know what it is.

Did she make eye contact with you during it?

She didn't make eye contact with me, but I was yelling, and she was looking around and was like, I'm doing something.

They do say that cats don't understand negative reinforcement. They just don't get that. I feel like you should get a vet to come over. Or You should get that guy, Jackson Galaxy. Have you seen him? No. He has this show called cats from Hell. It's so good. It's basically like... He's like the Gordon Ramsey of cats, where people are like, My cat's crazy, and it shows the cat beating up a toddler. Then he comes in and he's like, he figures out what the cat's upset about and then fixes them. Then the cats are perfect after. It's my favorite show.

I need him to come over because that or like a pet psychic. In my next life, I want to be a pet psychic.

In this life, we need a pet psychic. We're going to do it for sure. I found some on Facebook. I'm just sifting through.

So they're reliable.

No, those are the... If you don't get it from Facebook, I don't I want people who don't know that TikTok exists.

My favorite profession, sorry, my favorite profession is cat psychic. Animal psychic, because you made it up. You could say anything to me. There's no fact checking. It's literally like someone woke up and was like, My job is vibes. I got literally vibes.

It's literally someone being like, I'm empathic, but just with animals, which is that's what I think.

I hate when people say they're empathic. It's one of my biggest pet peeves. I should start a list of pet peeves because whenever someone asks me, What's a pet peeve? I could never remember it. Knowing full, well, and good, I have so many. And that's a pet peeve. Honestly, a pet peeve of mine is not remembering my pet peeves.

Write it down. If we don't write anything down, nothing would be said.

Truly. But I know that when people say they're empaths, I hate them.

Well, not... No, I support pet psychics because I support women in the arts. And then also during COVID, a pet psychic, over the phone, told me that Butter is sarcastic and funny. And I was like, Obviously. And then she told me she thinks Clyde is fat, the other cat, which I was like, Okay, a little body-shaming, which we don't love, but it's still funny.

And she's ugly.

And she's ugly. And has a wide-side vagina and a heavy flow. And then she also said that Clyde's stomach was hurting. And then two weeks later, we had to bring him to the vet because of a worm. So either she put a spell on him or this shit is real.

No, look, I support them. I'll give them all my money. If there's one thing I love, it's someone being like, I have a talent, and me being like, Yeah, I couldn't even start to think about what you do.

Do you know people talk about how guys lose all their money in sports betting? Yeah.

People don't talk enough- I love that for them, though. No, I truly do. I love watching a guy do really manly things that are so stupid that a woman wouldn't even cross our fucking mind. When I wake up on a Sunday, I'm like, What face mask am I picking? What could it be? And guys are like, How could I possibly put my family in danger? How could I almost lose the house?

For no good For no good reason. Do you know why we love it? For literally no good reason. These men finally know what it's like to be disappointed by other men.

No, it's amazing. There's also something homoerotic about it because you're literally getting gassed up to watch all these guys in super tight pants run around. And I'm not coming for you. I'm sitting right there, too. I'll watch it. I love it.

Also, the fact you think you know what's going to happen in the game is giving you think you're an empathic psychic.

You're gaslighting. It's giving It's giving animal psychic.

It truly is. All the men are animal psychics, but they talk shit on us. But I was saying that...

It's literally just reality TV.

A man wearing a jersey of another man is us wearing road lip gloss.

And I love it. And I'll do it forever.

It's the same thing.

Not to bring up the girls fighting. Can we talk about the Matilda Jurf?

Yeah.

Scandal. If you guys don't know who Matilda Jurf is, she became really big on TikTok. She's Swedish.

She's Swedish, which I thought Swedish people didn't fight.

I didn't either. She created an insane brand called Jurf Avenue. It has everything.

Worth a lot of money.

Worth a lot of money. It has basics, pajamas. One of their robes or whatever went viral on TikTok. It has all these little fruit.

She's famous for being a sweet-looking blonde with beautiful She's got this lovely volume as hair that's always blown out.

She's been in vogue.

She's not like a small... Don't tell me that you model till you've been in vogue.

She's not like a small-time creator whatsoever. She's big. It came out, the girls that were working in her office, they did a documentary whilst working there. They just said how the conditions are horrible, that she had... In the bathroom, there was one good toilet, which I was like, That's so European.

There's one toilet that massages your butt hole.

You guys are literally finding about one toilet. It's crazy. That she would let her favorite employees use, and then she would make the employees that she didn't clean the toilet.

Clean the toilet. I didn't know she'd let other employees because the first people were like, Maybe she just has OCD. But if she let her favorite employees use it, that's so weird. You think their butt holes dinner then. What? What? I do have to say, I'm not trying to start drama, but I did meet her.

You did? Where?

When I interviewed Haley Bieber at a Duncan Donuts.

Okay, so I think- She was there. Haley is so lucky that the campaign with her was literally two days prior because I think it legit sold out. But she's off the website now. The pictures aren't up anymore. And they did the cuteest little collab. She did her hair Cindy Louhu. I really do love Haley's branding. It was so cute.

The only experience I have was I actually said hi to her. She wasn't having it with me.

And she was like, You can use the fourth toilet. Thanks.

She was like, Brush your fucking hair, you dirty American slut. No, she didn't say that to me. But I remember her. She was cold. But again, if that was a man...

Look, it's It's so crazy to me because obviously, we've worked in offices. I've worked in offices of all women. I've worked in offices where it's mixed. In an office setting, obviously, you're going to have at least one day where you don't snap at someone, but you're in a bad mood.

You're under a lot of pressure.

And you say something in a tone that you're like, I shouldn't have said that, or I shouldn't have said that sentence.

You're not sucking everyone's dick. You're not like, Is everyone okay all the time?

There could definitely be a moment where someone could You're a villain in someone's story at some point in your life. And thank God. And thank God.

I feel like that's me, but I was just trying to make people laugh, but I offended someone.

I get being in an office and it's like, Oh, that girl's a bitch because one time blah, blah, blah. This is on such a different level to literally think of things to do to people or not do is so insane.

Yeah. I don't want to simplify it being like, If she was a man, this wouldn't happen. I think there's assholes on both ends. I would argue sometimes female bosses have really mental terrorism that they will do. Male bosses will just be dicks, misogynistic assholes, and then female bosses can be weird with specific people and stuff like that.

Honestly, I'm so thankful and grateful. I had one female boss, and she was It was the best thing that ever happened to my life. I'm so thankful for it because it was in my early 20s, and I think about it all the time now. When I am telling some people what to do at any given moment, I literally always think of her and I'm like, She was so nice and understanding and just whatever. And now I have to be like that.

Imagine Grace comes out with a tell all tomorrow.

Well, I literally kept thinking about Grace because I was like...

So we have one employee. She literally was joking.

No, we have three.

No, we have more. But Grace is our CEO. She's my right-hand man. It's funny because once she did sit me down, she's like, I feel like I'm learning so much. This is so fun and all this stuff. And I was like, well, I'm like, grooming you. And then we paused. I was like, not like that. Not like that.

Cut to, literally, eight months later, we're on tour and you're like, Grace will be carrying my children. I don't know why. That's non-negotiable for me.

We were talking about babies. I was like, Grace, is your ovaries available? And then she texted me because I was like, I miss you because Grace is back home now because the tour is taking a pause. And she was like, I feel like I have Stockholm syndrome because I'm not with you and Paige, and I miss you. No, but the thing is we got so lucky, but it's because we have a small environment. When you start getting a big office, it gets crazy. However, I understand, like jurf is the brand. Anything that goes wrong, it's on you. It's a lot of pressure. I'm totally about being fucking serious, hardworking, no bullshit. I do not understand the weird toilet things and the freakouts on people. It's unnecessary. A girl All this stuff comes out of the woodwork now, obviously. But some girls said she did a...

Did a what?

I did a modeling campaign with her.

Well, that's the other thing. Then people come out of the woodwork that have even an ounce to say, So then it piles on, and half of those could be true, half of those could not be. But I just can't... Also, there's something about starting as no one becoming an influencer, then having a ton of fans, then it's almost like you even have more of a responsibility. And not that I'm like, Oh, my God, you have to be nice every single day. You literally don't, but you can't go out of your way to literally ruin people's lives. That's crazy. It had to been really bad for them to all get together and be like, Hey, this is not okay.

No, they're all risking everything. But I guess they're at the point where they're like, I'd rather be fired and expose her. Yeah, I'm just upset because now I feel like all the Swedish stereotypes I had in my head are wrong.

I know.

I watched an amazing documentary called Child Star on Hulu, produced and done by Demi Lovato.

Okay, I saw the advertisement.

It's fucking incredible in terms of like, Drew Barrymore's on it, Raven Simone's on it, The Girlfriend, the Missy Elliott videos on it. Oh, yeah.

From Choubher by dozen.

Yes. This reminded me, Demi Lovato sits down with one of the child stars she was with and how the first season of Camp Rock, they had so much fun. Then Demi Lovato blew up, and the next season, she was like, She's staying at the Ritz or somewhere fancy. And there was this disconnect between her and her old friends. The girl basically was like, People were scared of you. You watched the moment of her being like, You traumatized me. You you were a monster.

Wait, that Demi Lovato traumatized people?

Yeah, but you later learned that Demi Lovato was bipolar. She was work... She had 350 shows in a year, and she's a kid, so people are just like, you have to keep working, you have to keep working. You have to keep working. It was very interesting, but it's hard to be these kids stars being like, I made millions of dollars and got famous as a kid, and it was really hard. But someone like Raven Simone, who is a giggler, by the way, she's honestly one of the reasons I went into comedy. That's So Raven changed my life. Her facial expressions, everything.

Wait, did you see the discourse on TikTok about? I was just going to say the Today Show about That's So Raven.

What?

Raven Simone said on a podcast, I think young kids It's like, young boys watch my show because they had big boobs. It's all these guys stitching the video being like, I was seven, and it was funny, and I liked the plot. Can I not laugh now? Wait.

Raven, it was not your boobs. You're fucking hilarious. The cast- No, it truly was the funiest show. I'm sorry. Give it a fucking Oscar, that show. It was so fucking funny. That and Amanda Binds.

But it was an age that there was no You didn't think. You didn't even have a thought in your brain of anything sexual.

But you know what? I do feel like subconsciously, boys were like, I like this for many reasons.

Yeah, but I was trying to think, did I look at the boys in that show and was I like, Oh, I have a crush on them.

I feel like when I watched Drake and Josh, you knew that Drake was hot.

You knew that... Yes. Okay, yeah. You knew that Drake was cute.

You knew he was hot, but you weren't like, I want to give him a hand job. You just were Oh, I want to stand next to him.

Let's go back to that. Let's truly go back to that. Let's normalize that. I'm not touching your dick, but you could be in my presence. Let's go back to you trying to just hold my hand. Just try and hold my hand because anything else, it's too much.

Wait, can I tell a traumatizing story? Trigger warning?

Yes.

My first boyfriend in high school. This is such a New York story.

Wait, that just sounded literally your Regina George. My first boyfriend in high school was named Kyle, and he moved away to Indiana.

His dad invented toaster strudel. No, but we couldn't go to anyone's house because it was our parents house and no one knew we were dating. So after school, we went to Sheepsmeadow Park and we were kissing. And I remember that I felt... What is that? I felt he had a boner, and I was so embarrassed for him. I was like, Oh, my God, is he embarrassed right now? That's so embarrassing. And we're kissing, and then we look over and a homeless man is jerking off.

And I was like, I don't like this game anymore. That's so traumatizing.

That was so New York City.

Now I'm trying to think, did I ever notice? What was the first time I noticed a boner? Did I know what it was?

You think I feel like that it's like they have something in their teeth and you're like, Do I tell them? Like they farted. It's like, that's what I thought it was like. I didn't realize that that was the point of it all.

I thought it was just a side thing. I literally can't remember. I feel like I've just blocked out anyone before a certain age. I'm like, you didn't literally exist.

They fingered the side of your leg until we were 26. And that's something else we have to work on in society.

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Back to Raven. Shout out Raven. You're literal number one fan right here, if you're listening, but you're probably busy. She started working at 16 months old, and then she got on the Cosby show and just did not stop working from then on. She She was very clear that it was a job. It was always a job. During That's So Raven, she was like, I hated it. I didn't sign up for this. I just wanted a normal life. She didn't enjoy it. It's so crazy. Something that brings us so much joy was causing so much pain for these people. Then a lot of them would just turn to drugs and stuff. Then, long story short, there's control in Hollywood because there used to be this... The first famous kid ever Back in the day, apparently, his parents just took all his money that he made. So he was like, he made millions of dollars. And then by 18, there was nothing left. So there's a rule.

A homicide would ensue.

A hundred %. There's a law now that a percentage has to go into the child's trust. But you know what? That there isn't a law to organize everything is child influencers. So these kids are now doing the same thing. They get born, the parents are working and working and working and working I'm traumatizing them, forcing them to work, and the kids aren't promised any money. So it's like they're just making a ton of money for their parents. And let's be honest, we've done reality TV, we do performances. When you're in front of the camera that's not real life.

Yeah.

Once a camera is on, you are performing.

Maybe that's why Daphné shit in my bed. She's like, I won't work. She wants to cut. I won't work under these conditions. I won't have it.

She's like, I saw your ad two days ago. I see you're using me for engagement.

She's like, Stop putting me in your fucking grid dumps, bitch.

She goes, Talk to my agent before you fucking take a photo.

I fantasize that Daphné swears a trucker in her head. This fucking bitch.

I think all cats do. They said someone says a cat's face always looks like you just asked them to pick you up from the airport.

Oh, God. No, we're so old. I literally all we do is laugh about cat stuff and Kanye West.

To be a little more Oh, my God. So I went to something funny yesterday. I was at the Hollywood Improv, and they were like, You know the year's been crazy when Kanye West hasn't spoken. He's like, I'll sit out on this one. Hasn't spoken? I am in Hollywood. I was… Des and I really failed at vacationing?

No. Can you explain this? Because this is part something that we do as partners, and we don't think twice about it, and the men get mad.

The reason why I think Des and I work so well is because he's lived this life before, and now he's just tired. So everything I'm going through, he's been on that side and knows how it feels. So he's lifting me up and empowering me, but it sucks because Des and I were like, We want to travel at some point. And I know you're like, Honey, you're I was traveling, but we're like, I've never been to Asia. So two months ago, we're like, Let's go to Thailand. Two weeks. Industry's dead in December. Let's fucking go. Yeah. Long story short, we cancel. We're like, We're not going to Thailand.

You cancel, but you book a different trip. You're like, It's too big of a trip to do right now. We go, We can't do two weeks.

It's too crazy. 24 hours of flying. We're tired. Let's do a simple trip. We were like, Let's go to Cartagena. Let's go to Colombia, Medellín, and do some culture. Oh, yeah.

Just a simple trip to Columbia.

We were like, Let's do- Outlandish. City, culture. And then we're like, no. So we don't cancel. We don't even book that. And then we go, let's fucking just go to the Caribbean for four days. So we're so excited. We're like, we're going to go to the Caribbean for four days. I get an email. Middle of the Caribbean trip, I get invited to do a gig that I personally didn't want to say no to. And Des was like, I get it. We don't have to go on vacation. You do this.

It's so important. It's so important.

So you guys will see what this gig is. It's very fun soon. It comes out on the 27th.

Hannah, I feel like that's low-key mental health moment, too. I can't tell you how many boyfriends I've had in my life that we've had something planned or we're looking forward to something and something work-wise comes up, and I'm like, I'm so sorry, I have to do this. The words that are exchanged where if the roles were reversed and it was some man, and he was in finance and some client called or something and he was like, I have to go to this. I feel like as a woman, you're almost programmed to be like, Oh my God. Yeah, you have to do this. Now, obviously, there's workaholics But it's such a fine line, and it also does depend on your age. If you're in your early 30s, you got to fucking answer the phone and go do your shit. You're so right.

For people listening who are entrepreneurs, you get that there's no schedule, so it could be slow sometimes. But then on a Sunday, something crazy happens and you need to do it to make money. But I've also been on a ski trip with Des once, and I got an offer for something that was exciting but not great. We had a long talk to be like, Where are our priorities here? You can do that, but we're going to just try to... I mean, I fucking hated skiing, so I was trying to get out of it.

Kim Kardashian did an interview. This is months and months ago. It had literally been a year ago. I have not ever forgotten it or stopped thinking about it. She was talking about a boyfriend. I think it was Pete Davidson, but I don't know. He told me I work too much. She was like, in my head, I was like, get out of my way. Get out. I'm like, Oh, my God. I so get... Get out of my freaking way. I'm doing something.

Also, you'll have so much animosity towards him.

Wait, I have another mental health moment.

Okay, go off.

You watched Girls, right?

I think it's one of the greatest shows I've ever made.

It's one of the greatest shows of our generation. If you haven't watched Girls, do yourself a fucking favor. I actually restart it every couple of years because it's just so iconic. The one actress in it, her real name is Jemimah Kirk. She plays...

She's actually my favorite character. I saw her in the airport once.

Jessah. Jessah. She plays Jessa. She's so cool. No, she's so good. I saw this on TikTok, but she was doing this on Instagram. She was doing just a Q&A, and a girl wrote in and was like, What is your advice for unconfident young women? Did you see this?

Yes.

Okay. And her answer was, You think about yourself too much. And I literally felt like my mind was blown.

It was so good.

I was like, Wait a minute. What a powerful, true statement. Like, literally, at the times that I'm my most unconfident or my most nervous, it's because I'm literally so wrapped up in myself.

You've literally thought yourself into some insane spiral that's given you every reason to question or not believe in yourself. This is one of my favorite quotes is at the end of the day, the only thing that could really calm you down is that no one cares and you're going to die.

I love it so much. No one cares.

I've gotten really anxious places, and yeah, it's always because you're overthinking everything. The really only way to calm you down is that it doesn't matter. And it's sad that nothing matters at the end of the day. But if you can find solace in that. For example, Giggly Squad. Sometimes I'll get nervous and I'll be like, I want this to be the best fucking episode ever. But if you force stuff and want it so bad because you care too much, you actually aren't yourself.

Okay. It's so crazy because even though I had crazy panic attacks all while we did tour and I was really working through something, I'm so happy that it happened during tour. And this sounds so weird because truly, Giggly Squad every week is the number one place where I feel my most self. Hannah and I literally got on Zoom today because no one started laughing because we were like, We miss each other, but we can't call each other because then we'll say all the good stuff that we have to say for the pot.

Also, we're both so respectful of each other. I know you're working, and I'll come up with something like, She needs a second. She's stressed. But we become full codependent on each other, even though that's It's not our personalities.

Here's what I know. When I'm going to run an errand or I'm getting in an Uber or something, that's when I do my calls. But I'm always just calling my mom, really.

Yes, same.

For For whatever reason today, I was running errands, and I was like, Should I call Hannah?

No, wait, you can call me anytime.

I was like, No, she's busy. She's doing things.

I feel like me and you are actually two people who we We do have intimacy issues.

You think?

I hate when they make it like, Girls, or we're boy crazy, and all this stuff. But I'm going to be honest, me and you, we are so the men sometimes, stereotypically. But yeah, I would go after guys who had intimacy issues because I didn't want to connect with a man. I wanted to protect myself. Sometimes when it comes to dating, and I would literally, I've never admitted this to anyone or publicly or to anyone in my life, but I will say it on the pod.

Because no one listens. No, in my head, no one listens.

No, in my head, four girls who know everything about us listen.

Well, here's the thing. When I say things on the podcast, it's for the gigglers that listen every week. Like, those are my friends. Those are my girls. For the people that pop in to write an article or make a TikTok video, I'm not saying anything for you guys. It's not for... Like, whatever.

So I feel like it's- It's like, you just came into the middle of a conversation we've been having for five years. Obviously, you don't get it.

Like, hello?

Is this the audition for- But we love the new gigglers. We love the new gigglers. You're all welcome. Anyway, what were you going to say that you said you've never told anyone, and then you veered off?

Is this the audition for Pippin? No, what I've never said to anyone. Hannah and I, before every giggly squad show, before we walk out on stage, we'll say to each other, Is this the audition for Pippin? Okay. When it comes When it comes to dating, sometimes I will move in a manner, subconsciously or consciously, it depends, where I'll stop and think and be like, That was such a move that a guy would pull. Or sometimes I'll do things and I'll be like, I'm the guy. That's so heinous. I can't believe I said that or I did that or I'm thinking that. I'm the guy. It's scary. Sometimes I have to catch myself and be like, Don't How would you do that?

No, but the concept of that's what guys would do is socially constructed. That's just what we've been raised to think, where we just are trying to have some power.

Well, then I think if certain guys don't like me, I'm like, Oh, you don't like that I move the way men move.

It scares them.

It scares you that I can also switch into this mode of I don't give a fuck.

I always love... I don't I don't talk too much about Dez and I, but I do love the moment in our relationship where I was pretending I was cool and didn't care. I think I might have posted something that was a little bit... Could potentially make him jealous or something, very early on. I remember he called me and he was like, Hey, if you're going to do this stuff, I'm not attracted to that stuff. I don't want to play games like that. So that's great.

You test the waters.

Yeah. And he was like, I like you. I feel like I made that clear. So if you're going to be weird like this, I'm good. I literally put my tail between my legs. I was like, oh, my God. And it was so mature of him and hot. But anyway, No, I do something that a guy would try to up me and make me feel worse. And then I would... And next thing you know, it's just two egos battling each other. And it's a competitive fucking stupid situation. But I do have to say, rounding to what you were saying at the beginning, your 30s, it stops being about being the most successful or finding the best guy. It's about finding your authenticity, which is full of, yeah, you question yourself, yeah, whatever. But at least you're being you. And I'd rather be sad, authentically being me than pretending to be something else.

No, I love being me. I I think I'm the greatest.

Speaking of me- Back to me for a second.

Back to me?

Enough about me. What do you think about me? What about me? I didn't tell you about what happened during Thanksgiving. I talked I got it on Burner phone. Shout out Burner phone. You guys should listen. Thanksgiving morning. We're finally having all these people at our house. And I'm, of course, asleep. It's 7:30, and you know how all the adults They're awake. They're all chatting loud, laughing. And I hear it, and it's beautiful.

They're like four cups of coffee deep.

Yes. They're talking about like, recent events in the news and stuff. It's not my scene.

It's not my scene.

It's literally Give me a table.

Not my scene. I don't want to see. Yeah. I don't want to see at that table.

It doesn't come across my desk. So I'm chilling because I could sleep through anything, but I hear the good vibes. I'm so happy everyone's talking. And then I hear a weird murmur and everything goes silent. And you know when you just have that spidey sense where you're like, something bad happened. So it's silent for 30 minutes. And I check my phone, no one texted me. And then I hear someone say something, and I'm like, did someone die? Did someone have a heart attack? I start freaking out. But then no one's telling me anything. So I'm just like, I'm just going to stay here. You know when you're like, I don't want to ruin my day. I'm going to stay here until I find out.

If I don't know, nothing happened yet.

I'm just staying in bed. Finally someone opens the door and they're like... And it was Des, and he's like, Hey, I just wanted you to know the water tank burst and it's been flooding downstairs. And we've all been wiping, putting towels down. Just letting you know. Walks out. I go, No one thought to wake me up. No one was like, You know what would make this situation better if Hannah was awake? No one even told me.

Because what were you offering to that?

No, literally, they thought about it, and they were like, It would be better if we kept her of this.

If Hannah didn't know.

I started googling water tank burst. I'm like, this is really bad. My mom's like, we're handling it. Everything's being handled. Does it on the phone with the plumber. And I never felt more insignificant but understood.

Hannah, it's so funny you say that because there are... It's interesting to think that your other family... You obviously, you call a family member to talk about another family, family member, but you don't think that other family members are calling to talk about you. You're almost shocked.

I do feel like there's a lot of roasting, though, in my family, and I'm known as the one, Oh, Hannah, she's type B. She forgot her wallet again. She spilled everything.

That's Hannah. Yeah.

But also I have crazy productive people in my family. My mom could run the country if she put her mind to it. It's like, let's cut our losses.

My brother the other day said something to me, and I was like, I forget what it even was. I was like, you didn't tell me that. Why didn't anyone tell me that? When did this happen? He was like, oh, well, we're not allowed to tell you certain things when you're really stressed out. I was like, what the fuck does that mean? And he was like, Mom tells everyone not to annoy you with anything because you're fragile. And during your tour, you were really fragile. And he kept saying the word fragile, and I was like, I'm not fucking fragile.

It is funny to think about. Every now and then, I'll hear people who work with Giggly Squad be like, Oh, before we tell Hannah and Paige, let's make sure we tell them this way. And I'm like, We're dumb. We're not Matilda Jurf. Just tell us what's going on. We're not going to kick you.

No, I'm literally... Here's the crazy thing. I'm not going to do anything. Whether you need me to do something or not, I'm not doing anything. So I don't care.

People call us and we're like, Please text or send a voice note. I'm not I'm not trying to get into it with anyone at any time.

No, people need to realize truly at the end of the day, Giggly Squad is built on not giving a shit.

Yeah, I do think we should start giving a shit about the drones. They're filming a new season of New Jersey Housewives. That's what the drones are. It's just Andy Cohen being like, We need a step-up production.

This is why TikTok can't get banned. Everyone on TikTok just being like, Are we the most serious country in the fucking world. We're just like, Yeah, there's something happening literally 10 feet away from me. And we're like, We don't know. We have things to do, though.

Someone was like, I love how after Luigi Gioni. They're like, We're going to need drones in New Jersey. All the Italians are up to no good.

No, it has not been a good week for Italy.

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We Can you please write, You wrote the single-handedly funiest note in our notes.

What? I look like the shooter?

Yeah.

I kept getting... Here, first of all, let me just... Let's just talk about this in full.

Yeah.

The day that they came out, what his name was, I feel like every Italian collectively was like, Fuck. It's not great for us. It's not great for our brand. We're not... We don't need I'm in this right now. People are immediately being like, It's the Mafia. We're like, Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Well, look, Italians are good at two things. They're good at food and killing people in public spaces.

We're like, This was just a disgruntled guy. Let's calm down for a second. Here's the other thing. I saw a comedian say this. I think it was Shane Gillis, actually, who said it years ago that Italians are really the only minority that you can make fun of still. It is so true. The next day, it was like every meme was just about Italians. But I love that we're just like, Yeah, we don't give a fuck. You could say whatever you fucking wanted to me. I don't care. It doesn't matter. I was getting tagged. They did Luigi with long, brown hair, and I was getting tagged in it so much being like, Why is this page to Sorbo? And I was like, I love it. I think it's amazing. I love it so much. But Oh my God. It's a crazy week for Italians in Jersey.

It is crazy that the government... I mean, everyone is so pro-Louigi because he has a six-pack. If he was ugly, people would be like, Hang on. No, it's crazy. People were like, He's Peter Pan. But I do have to say the United Health care guy, he is a drug dealer. Well, that could happen in the fight when you're making millions and millions and millions of dollars from giving people health or not.

Yeah, obviously, this guy was a husband and a father, and you don't want anyone to be murdered. But also think about how much insurance companies just fuck people over in the biggest time of need.

It's just- But I do have to say, vigilantism is not the answer. Let's not just start shooting people. But I do feel like the girls love that Luigi took the time to engrave the bullets.

It's esthetics.

I feel like it also makes you look at your boyfriend being like, what have you done for me now? What have you done for me lately? You can't even write a card, and he literally engraved every single bullet he shot into that guy's back.

It's like, write me one note. Write me a thoughtful text message.

Leave one post-it before you leave for work.

No, it's crazy.

But yeah, the Luigi stuff as an Italian is very funny. But yeah, I think the guy had a... He had a mental break. I don't think it was a sane... I mean, the guy was super smart.

I also loved all the memes just being like, his mom didn't know where he was for a month. Yeah, okay. There's no fucking way.

There's no fucking way. His mom didn't know where he was.

Are you fucking kidding me?

That's crazy. And Chappal Cone was his number one search or his favorite artist.

I love it. Wait, okay. I have another topic to bring up that I was talking about with one of my girlfriends, and we were talking about how so many men get the hair transplant and the hair, like plugs or flying a turkey, they're doing whatever. She was saying, she was like, I believe... She was like, I believe that if you are in a certain tax bracket and you make a certain amount of money a year, you should not be allowed to be bald. I was like, elaborate. She was like, As women, we're on TikTok all day being like, I got my lips done. I got my eyes done. This is what I did step by step because we have to, because if we don't continue to look good, we get disregarded in society. And she was like, If you are a man and you make a certain amount of money, you should have to get a hair trans. And not be bald. It's funny.

Some girls love a bald man.

But do they, or are we programmed? Is it the same thing as a dad bod? A dad bod, yeah. Is it just the same thing? Because I know that if I walked out being bald, I would have a very different climate.

Yes.

And also normalize them giving us updates. Day 27, give me a 50-part series of your hair transplant. We can watch him for BBS.

Do you know who actually does that? Benedict Polizzi, who I love. He's a comedian from Indiana.

He got a hair transplant?

He got a hair transplant, and he takes photos of it, and he just makes fun of it. I love it.

A man of the people. He's in.

And you know what? Lean into Italian. So maybe we're... Look.

We love it. They just get it. They just freaking get it.

What if Luigi posted in his manifesto, Nobody left me a lasagna?

I'd be nervous because people would think that we were connected. We're going to be like, Of course. And he's a giggler.

Also, did they AI an Italian last name? That's insane. That's the most Italian name I ever heard.

It's just not a good week for our people.

If he was really, really Italian, though, he would not go to McDonald's.

No, that's what I'm saying. If he was really, really Italian, his mom wouldn't have reported him missing. She would have found him. There's just no way. You're not going missing. There's literally never been a missing child.

Also, if you were working at that McDonald's and saw him, would you report it? I don't think...

Here's the thing when people... When something happens and there's a manhunt, and it's pictures of him posted everywhere in the in the city. I'm, again, thinking about myself. There's no fucking way I'm walking into a Starbucks and being like, That's a guy. I'm not even looking at him.

I'm going to say something fucked up. No one's ever gotten an Amber alert and been like, Oh, good. Let me help this out. You're like, I'm in the middle of a text, and you just interrupted my text.

Everyone has the same reaction. Did you see the Amber alert? That's crazy. Yeah, that's horrible.

Also, no one's ever gone in Amber alert and ran outside to find the missing child. Also, has anyone ever found the missing child? They never give you the update. They just say that they're gone and then nothing else.

They never give you the update, and usually it's the dad. And most of the time it's the freaking dad.

Actually, period. It's always everything goes back to your dad.

Here's the thing. Wait, let me just say one thing.

Yes, yes, yes.

For how much we despise men, majority of the time, and their actions and just overall characteristics, We do have to say that we grew up with the best dads ever. So I want to love men. I actually was born and programmed to love men. I do like them. But they're just so stupid most of the time.

Yeah. I like a self-aware man. I like the men that are calling out their friends, but also leaning in.

I like quiet ones. I like them quiet. I like them...

I feel like when they're quiet, they know things because they're listening. What is that like to listen? I'd be so smart if I didn't talk so much, if I retained any information from other people. Instead, I'm just walking around like, maah.

No, that's literally you walk around like that.

I was talking to these other male comics, and they were talking about they're making jokes about how women talk a lot, which is so funny. We don't know what the male comics are joking about. Yeah, who cares? But they're like, Girl jokes. I'm like, Girls talk a lot. J Ryan has a four-hour podcast every fucking day. Girls talk a lot? We need to take a nap after 45 minutes. We're about to take a three-hour nap from yapping.

Truly, truly, truly, truly. Joe is literally over there five hours a day.

Can I say something I'm mad at with fashion?

Oh, yeah.

Sling back heels.

Why?

They don't fit my foot.

They don't stay on. They don't stay up.

They don't stay on. If What is the thing in the back for? Because the slingback just falls off, and then I'm like...

It has to be a good shoe. It has to be an expensive shoe.

I'll buy a $200 slingback, and it's not slinging.

Really? It's not slinging.

I think it needs stretch. It needs to have stretch.

I don't think you're putting it high enough up on your ankle. Are you putting it high enough up?

I went to college. I don't think it should be that difficult for me to figure out how to wear a shoe. If I have to maneuver it that much.

Are your If I eat a little sweaty? It could just be.

Yes, they're always sweaty. I do think also maybe there's not enough curvature in the back of my foot that it doesn't stay.

I fear you've been ill-advised on slingbacks and Wait, so you're standing with slingbacks right now? I stand with slingbacks. I do stand with them. I think that I like them for a certain outfit, but I understand the frustration when they don't stay up.

I think they look good, but I can't even walk on stage with them.

I don't think it's something that we're going to solve. I think that you just stay away from them.

I feel like you don't care about me right now.

I do care about you, but it's just like, I feel like there are certain things- I'm struggling with something and you're not You're not here.

I'm clearly struggling. I'm struggling and you're taking the side of my op.

Here's what I'm going to say.

You're taking the sides of my enemies.

There are certain things that I feel like as a female, you just do live with because it's like, Oh, it It's just a girl thing that we have to deal with. I'm more like, I just deal with it. You're more like, I'll fight every man who invented this. We're just different in that sense.

Wait, I feel so bad because I forget who said it, but there's a girl on TikTok, you guys should search it, who was like, Wait, so we have wireless drones, but we don't have a wireless hair dryer? She was like, We don't have wireless Dyson, even though we have wireless Dyson vacuums. What the...

Either they don't care about women- They don't care.

Or they want us to strangle ourselves with a cord.

Sorry, there's so many sirens.

That was the police telling us, Stop calling people out on the pod.

Freaking. It's just the patriarchy.

And Matilde Jervs people. Sweden's arrived. You'd be surprised how many things bosses will make their office manager or their assistant do.

No.

And But this is the thing, bosses will, I think, get away with it a lot because the person says yes, so they think the person's cool with it. But you're not going to say no to your boss. I've done weird shit for bosses.

Unless it's in my contract, get the fuck out of my face. What? Do you have an example of something after where you're like, That was weird?

I definitely saw this one boss made this girl walk her dog every day, and then also make her breakfast every day, like avocado toast and stuff. It just seemed unnecessary.

You know what's so crazy at me as a boss? Because I think I'm a people pleaser. I feel like I work for them. I am constantly apologizing to Josephine and Grace and being like, I'm so sorry that I can't get my shit together to give you what you need so that you can send it off to whoever you need to work with.

Whenever I text Grace, I always go, I'm so sorry for bothering you, but...

Same. Then I'll be like, wait, I'm a 32-year-old woman, and I pay them, and I'm scared of them. But I love it, too, because if she comes over to my apartment or something and I'm ordering Starbucks, like... Yeah. Hello? It's just normal human decency, I feel.

It's also low-key fun to be a boss because you're like, We can do whatever we want today.

No, there are so many times where I'm like, Should we just do couch and blankets? Go get your blanket.

Sometimes I feel like I pressure her. I'm like, We're getting bagels. And she's like, I'm okay. And I'm like, You don't want to ever think bagel with sky cream cheese and all this stuff. And she's like, I'm fine. I'm like, Let's fucking party with bagels right now.

The other day I said to Josephina, I said, Would it be crazy if I got us a personal trainer and we worked out three times a week together because I won't do it if someone else doesn't do it with me?

See, that's where HR gets involved.

She was like, Yeah, I mean, I'll do it with you.

I made Grace do hip hop yoga, and she liked it, but I also was afraid to text her again to feel like she was being forced to sweat and possibly faint in a hot hip hop yoga.

Whatever. We're fun bosses. We're fine.

We're cool moms.

We're cool. We're like, Do whatever you freaking want.

I know. We're like, If you want to smoke a little weed, just don't tell them.

I'm truly like that. I'm like, Let's get high and figure this out.

Speaking of bread, one more time, I ordered room service. I'm in LA, and I was like, I clicked continental breakfast or whatever, and it didn't say anything about bread. So I wrote in the notes, Can I please have sourdough bread? Then they start calling me because I did it online. This is so unnecessary. And they're like, Hi, it's extra for sourdough bread. I'm like, Yes, just send me. When is the bread not included with an egg breakfast? Then I'm fucking pissed. The bread comes. It's the smallest bread I've ever seen. Is bread Are they having a bread shortage? What? It's sourdough. It's healthy.

There's something with hotels, things that are add-ons that it's like, Okay, well, that goes with it. Also, if you're a five-star hotel and you're not doing room service and you're still going through COVID rules or something. If you don't have room service as a hotel, what are you? You're an office space, okay? You're WeWork.

You're a literal WeWork. You're WeWork with pillows.

Get your shit together, bring back room service with silverware. If you are at my door and you're handing it to me in a brown paper bag, I'm thinking the worst things in my head.

Don't get me started about forks.

Anyway, we won't.

And we won't.

And we absolutely will not. That's all the time we have for today.

Stay posted for next week for my fork speech.

The fork discussion continued.

On NPR. I do have to say I have a couple standup dates I'd love you guys to come to. I'm going to Timonium, Maryland. I've never heard that place, but I think it'll be fun. Actually, I think I've been there. Sounds like a boss. Yeah, I'm going to... Sounds like a health care company. Irvine, Alabama, New Haven, Connecticut, Providence, Rhode Island, Brooks, California, Highland, California. See you there. Paige, what's going on with you?

Nothing. I'm going to sleep till January eighth.

Yes. Amazing.

Oh, actually, I'm going to be on the Today Show on Wednesday morning. We're doing winter accessories. We're very excited.

I love that I was uninvited.

They're like, Hey, we got to call actually just for Paige to come on with Hoda and Jenna, they said, Leave the Redhead at home.

They're going to leave the girl who came in with fake glasses and laughed too loud. No, you're doing your fashion segment, which is really, really fun, and you do a lot of research for it and you put a lot of work into it.

So everyone- I actually do do a lot of research for it.

You do. Everyone, go get your mom's cable password and watch Page on the Today Show. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling with us. I hope you're all slowing down for the holidays.