Transcript of Giggling about past lives, witch trials, and crutches

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What's up, giggler? Gary, fix the WiFi.

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

Damn, it feels good to be a gigglet. Look, we are mentally, physically, and spiritually spent.

Why do we look like we both go to the same prep school? I feel like I'm a grade older because I have long sleeves on.

Why do we always match?

We've been really matching recently. It's so weird. It is really weird.

We both never wore blue on tour, and we both just wear blue in Newark.

No, it doesn't make any sense.

But Newark was giving blue energy.

It gives blue, yeah.

Now we're both wearing colored shirts, like little nerds.

No, We seriously look like we're on the rugby team. You look like you're going through a phase where you're like, Mom, I'm growing my hair out.

No, I hate guys who are like, Oh, I'm in the in between stage. I'm like, You've always looked like shit.

Yeah, the in between. I will say guys do have to get their hair cut so much faster than girls.

Yeah, but it also takes them 20 minutes.

That's a little bit of admin for them.

We have to tell you guys a story that we've been saying on our last two live shows. Also, we're going to be in Milwaukee, Madison, coming up.

This week.

This week. We went to Salem, Massachusetts because we wanted to see where all the witches were killed.

I don't know whose idea it was. It was partly what we were expecting and then partly totally not what I was expecting.

We weren't so excited. We were like, We definitely were witches that were burnt the steak in a past life because if you weren't, you were a fucking loser. Also, we were talking about how a girl just probably gave a guy blue balls once, and he was like, You're a witch.

No, literally, we had this woman who has lived there her whole life who says that she's a witch and does psychic readings and pass regressions. The number one thing she said about the Salem witch trials is it was all just to steal each other's shit.

It was just about property.

Yeah. It was if you got someone else to accuse you of being a witch, they could take your land. It was all just lying and cheating to get ahead, which is so crazy because they were so Someone commented on our Giggle Squad Instagram. It was like, Hillsong is shaking.

Look, we did start a mega church.

If we start asking you to clap along, be weary. Something has gone awry.

If we put on an album of songs about giggling and you have to hold hands. Anyway, we go to this room where they do seances. You knew shit was about to get lit. It was about to be crazy. We were very excited because we love this shit.

We were open.

We were so open. We even said to the lady, we were like- Say whatever you want.

Whatever you feel like you can't offend us.

We can handle anything. Just say it. Be honest. Literally four minutes in, I was like, This isn't that much fun anymore.

I want to call my mom. At one point, I was like, I actually hope you did Google me because if you didn't, I'm scared. If you didn't listen to every episode of Giggly Squad to get a... Figure out what my personality is, I'm that you know this much.

I want to take the gigglers through step by step. First, she does tarot cards, and she starts with you. And honestly, I felt like she nailed it.

She nailed it. What did she say again? I forget, but I was like...

She said you had to take care of your mental health.

Yeah, she said I had to take care of my mental health. She said that I don't feel emotions for myself, but I can identify them in other people.

You're the weirdest serial killer ever. You're full of empathy, but not for yourself. Yes. She was saying you have to choose between your career and other things. You're very busy right now.

She said, I choose my career a lot, and I always will. Then she said, I have a lot of self-worth problems, which that was a direct attack.

Direct attack. But then she was like, I recommend for you to feel more grounded to eat more pasta and cheese. I was like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, It felt like that.

It truly, truly felt like that. I was like, I feel like my doctor has a few things to say.

But I do believe that your ancestors are full of... They ate pasta, and it is what grounds you. She didn't say that to me, but she was like, I think you should slow down on the pasta and cheese. I was like, What the fuck?

She's like, You're lactose-intolerant.

No, but hers being so accurate with you was why mine... That was when it started to get a little eerie.

It was starting to turn a little bit.

It started to turn because she's putting out cards and it's all silly.

When I walked in, I was like, I'll go first. Then when I was like, Actually? I should have waited.

She takes out a card and she goes, oh. Me being misoptimistic was like, this is the card. This is like, Oh, we never get this. You're going to be the happiest ever, whatever. She goes, There's about four really bad cards in here, and I never get them, and we just got one. I just look at her, she looks at me and she's like, How's your crippling depression? And I was like, Okay.

It was like a movie when she flipped it. It was just all daggers. And she was like, Oh.

She also preface it being like, I'm not going to tell you that you're going to die, but it's going to be close.

She was like, I'm not going to tell you anything truly, truly bad because I can't see names, dates. And she said that everything, it's not like set in stone. You have the power not to prevent things, but to- Change the narrative, the course of certain things.

That's why I think she was amazing. I think she was very accurate, but she literally does this horrible card, and I'm like, No, I was having a slow morning. I'm like, This is a lot to handle. She was just like, You're going to have a full mental break, but then after all your dreams are going to come true. I was like, Okay, so on Monday.

One of my favorite things that she said was that we can't have mental breakdowns in the same time frame because it just It wouldn't be good for either of us.

Imagine us in the green room, both.

If you were dealing with panic attacks and anxiety right now, we'd have to cancel the tour. There's just no way we'd be able to do it.

There was a meme about best friends just have to lose their fucking mind on different days. Yeah, it's so true. Then we're already feeling a little open sword. Yeah. Paige is definitely vulnerable. Paige goes, Let's do past This is going to be fun.

Let's clear the energy, clear the air.

Were we best friends? Was I a princess or a ballerina? I think I was an Amazonian woman, and she was like, No, let's do a meditation first.

We have to open our hands up, put them toward the sky.

We've never been quiet for 10 seconds in a row.

Wait, weren't you? Okay, wait.

Were you laughing when I was breathing loud?

No, but I couldn't focus because I was laughing inside about what are you focusing?

I knew you were because I was laughing about you listening to me and my deep breathing because you weren't breathing.

Because she was like, Okay, close your eyes, put your palms facing the sky, and then picture a bright purple light Did she say going through your head? She was like- Going up to the sky. Yeah, something with purple. And shooting out of the atmosphere and whatever. When she said that, I don't know why. I was just like, I wonder what Hannah's version of that is in her head.

Because Hannah's never done trumes. I was tripping at that point. I was tripping. What did she say to you?

She was like, I thought that your past life was going to come through first because I'm a Scorpio, which I should have asked, what the fuck does that mean? But I didn't. She was like, but actually Hannah's is coming through. We start with Hannah's and you tell.

She was like, do you like bright colors? I was like, I think so. She's like, okay, I think every person you were in a past was a man. I was like, No! Why? But then she looks at me and she's like...

Which you give gay man vibes. Well, this is the thing.

She said, you as a woman in this life don't understand why you can't do things that men do, and that's your purpose in this life. I was like, literally nailed it. That's all I care about. I was like, What man is she? She goes, A flamboyant British gay man who was very rich, just prancing around his- She kept saying the word dandy.

Dandy. Dandy. I was just like, What the fuck is that?

His wife was miserable because he didn't love her. Because he was gay. He was just having anal all over England. Then he eventually met an older man. Who he truly loved. Who he truly loved. I'm like, Yes, this is me.

She said you had an easy life. You had not in terms because you were in. I struggled. You were in the closet.

I struggled because I was in the closet, but I was fabulous.

She did say, If anyone found out that you were gay, you would been killed.

It was on the outside seemed good, but I had some inner turmoil to make myself more interesting.

But you were rich, you didn't work.

I was fabulous.

You just died of old age.

I'm just laughing and envisioning myself prancing around London. I'm I'm like... Then I'm like, Okay, do Page. Just Page is there. Do Page. Was she a ballerina? Tell me what she was.

We definitely were connected. Maybe I was this gay man's best friend, and we just like, trolloped around. Yes, trolloped. She She turns to me and she's just like, Oh, okay. I get why your lives weren't coming up really quickly. It's because they were so sad.

It gets quiet.

You were so sad.

I'm still envision myself with the Banjo. I'm loving life.

No, Hannah has a top hat is prancing through the streets with a cane.

Mary Poppins is.

Kissing men in alleyways. She's like, You were so sad. All of your lives, you were very poor, just sad. She was like, But you Your saddest life is you had so many children, and unfortunately, they all died. I'm just jaw on the floor. I'm just like, Okay.

Meanwhile, I'm being gay, and she's like, your kids didn't even die of cholera. It was a sniffle. It wiped them all out.

It must have been... Honestly, it had to have been something like the plague or some type of sickness where they just all got it and then all died at the same time. She said that I blamed myself a lot, and I was like, Okay, well, what did I do after? What was my life after that? And she was like, Oh, no, you then died.

She was like, You died of heartbreak, and it wasn't your fault, but you just couldn't live on. And we were just sitting there like...

Dying of heartbreak is so main character, though. You know what's so crazy is because I feel like every time I've ever heard a story of people that truly do die of heartbreak, I'm like, No, I get it. I've always understood that because I do feel like your brain and your body are so much more powerful than people think, and it can trick you into, No, we're dying.

Dez and I aren't the same age, but if we were and I died first, if he didn't die immediately after from heartbreak, it was fake. No. Truly. Like, literally, forget that we were married. It wasn't real.

No. I totally believe in that.

Well, she even said she's like, Do you love kids? And you're like, I love my future kid, but right now, I I don't fuck with kids. I think she was like, because you're triggered because kids have caused you so much pain in the past.

And then she said, which was like, Grace is crying at this point. Grace is in full tears.

Grace is fully in tears because of... Well, I look over and she's like, I'm just babies.

I'm just all my children. She was putting an emphasis on you loved being a mom. Being a mom in every life for you was the best thing ever. You loved being a mom. She was like, and there's this little boy that keeps popping through, basically being like, When you get pregnant, I'm coming back to you. You are my mom.

She kept going, This little boy is ready because he's going to be your best friend. Then I started to get emotional.

No, I started to get emotional, too, because I was picturing this little boy being like, Come on, Mom, I want to hang out with you again, which is just so freaky.

She even said, wear a condom because he's really ready. No.

That was insane.

She You love being a mom. Hannah, you love being a bottom.

I feel like you also played with wearing jewelry, but you tried to make it in a masculine way. I wish I could...

I was like, It's a new thing, and they're like, You just are being flamboyant.

I'd love to hear past Hannah's lies to be like, It's not gay. You know what's so funny?

People make fun of me that I think everyone's gay. I think I feel so connected to the gay community. I can't explain it. I am gay, but I happen to like dick, but I'm gay, but I love dick, but I am so gay. Now it makes sense. But it's funny because I feel like gay men like you because you're-I love gay men.gay men, the real ones love me who give me a chance. But first look, they're gopher page.

Well, I think I get along with gay men so well because- You're a diva. I'm a diva, but I also feel like I don't have that many girly girly friends that are as girly as I am. I feel like with gay men, I get the girly vibe with also having... I need a little testosterone. I need a little more... Say it how it is, call you out in a minute type energy. Yes.

But then you're like, Okay, let's move on. Did we know each other Are we best friends in every life? What was our relationship?

I'm like, Maybe my gay bestie helped me through the drama and gave me some money and helped me out. She was like, Yes. Oh, my gosh. She did know each other. I'm feeling like you work together.

It could have been any life.

Not when I was- I'm like, Okay, amazing. We work together. We have always been doing this in life. We've been coming up with businesses and just making each other laugh.

She's like, I'm seeing you making jokes on a stage together.

She's like, Hannah stole all your I'm like, So I have no kids, no prospects. I'm about to croke, and I'm homeless.

I'm using your money for dildos.

I also am envisioning you throwing all these parties and me walking by. It's giving great gas fee.

Well, you keep putting it in the same lifetime. She was talking about many different ones. So it possibly wasn't that one.

I kept putting it in the same. I don't know why I was expecting to get a Then I started being so introspective about it because I'm like, I wish we got a lifetime that was in this century. I feel like the way she was talking, it was like the 1600s. So just my mind kept going there. It was really fascinating. Wait, she did say that your soul takes a long time to come back to the physical world.

She said, My lives are stressful, but that I love being a soul up. But how you're always on Earth.

Yeah, I come back really quickly. I must be trying to learn something.

You're trying to find- Well, it's not going to happen this lifetime.

Let me tell you. Maybe next time- Wait, that makes so much sense because you're so stubborn.

The universe keeps throwing you back where I'm like- I feel like my soul is like, no, okay, I'll get it right this time. That's so funny. Give me a minute. We got into the Uber. We were quiet for 30 minutes just processing everything.

Silence. Then I was going back and forth. I was like, okay, is that real? Because going into it, I'm like, no, I believe in this stuff. Then in the car ride home, I'm like, I actually believe in God.

Fully turned to God at the end of it. It was like, God, Jesus Christ, if you're here, please just tell me the things that were true. I'm like, I feel like God, if there's a God, he's busy. He's dealing with wars right now. He's not like, did page the Sorbo like her Salem reading that told her that she lost all her children. In the rest of the day-Wait, we forgot this part.

She's a psychic medium. We were like, What about the medium stuff? Because that's truly what I like. She was like, You guys have a lot of spirits around you. She goes to me first and she was like, You doors are definitely related to you. She's explaining things, and I'm like, yes, this could be, and this could be this, and this could be that.

We thought it might be your grandpa.

I was like, This feels like it's my grandpa for sure. The way she was physically explaining him.

I'm looking at Grace being like, get ready, my grandpa's going to come. This is my moment. My grandpa I'm obsessed with.

Grip on here. I was like, Hannah, all Hannah needed to hear was the word grandpa. She was like, mine is here. I'm ready. What does he need to tell me? She's like, Hannah, you have a lot of spirits around you.

I was like, I know, including my grandpa.

She goes, None of what you know or are related to that you just have random people.

She was like, You got a gang-gang around you. She's like, But she made it like these spirits are not all good. She was like, there's a lot of spirits around you all the time. I'm like, sometimes I'll be in a hotel room and I'll smell a fart. I'm like, I don't think that was me. Anyway, she goes, you do have this woman who's in her 40s I didn't know any woman who died. I talked to my mom after. No way. My mom's- Because she said this one does feel like it's related to you. Yeah, she said in her 40s, and I'm like, I don't know any women in my family who died in their 40s. She said, My grandpa's mom's mom died in childbirth, late childbirth. She had 10 kids, and she was 37. Oh, my gosh. It could be her. But she said, She's protecting you from a lot of spirits around you. Then I was like, I was like, Where's my grandpa?

Okay, not to get too cuckoo, woo-woo, whatever. When I moved into my last apartment in Midtown, the day I moved in, there were these two birds that sat on the entire day I moved in. I was like, Oh, I believe in that stuff. I feel like that's a sign. Then when I moved into my new apartment, the days after I moved in, I had two pigeons that literally didn't leave my windowsill. I truly do feel like that's spirits and stuff.

I do have a crazy story.

Also, New York City is overloaded with pigeons.

There's also a pigeon problem in New York City. They think they own everything. I had a weird story about, does n'I have this house in West Hampton that this previous family-owned? They were really this beautiful family, and they gave us this letter when we got the house about how the sun had passed away. In the family and how he loved tennis and he also loved Hollywood and stuff and how he would have been so happy that we're the people that are in the house. Oh my God. The first day we're in the house, we look outside in the backyard and there's a fox running through. You don't see foxes in the daytime. It's not a thing. My mom was there and I'm like, Mom, are foxes all over West Hampton? She's like, This is very weird. From that day, we never saw a fox again. She thinks it was the brother saying, Welcome.

Wait, running on the tennis court?

Running on the tennis court.

Wait, that's insane.

I was there all summer. I never saw a fox again.

I believe in that stuff when it's good and when it's bad. I believe in that stuff. We believe in God.

We believe in God. We turn to God.

I did say a prayer before we went in there. Yeah, you were trying to protect us. Because I was like, I don't need any spirits coming home with us. I have enough demons that I can visualize, see, and interact with.

The rest of the day, whenever we made fun of Paige, she was like, My children died. My children perished. Then whenever you made fun of me, I was like, Please don't be homophobic. I was like, Please keep your homophobia to yourself. Literally, this is insane.

No, When she started saying, Oh, my God, you love fashion. You love bright colors.

I know. I was like, I think I'm lazy with outfits nowadays because I put so much effort into fashion when I was a dandy.

I've been a woman in every life. Yes.

You were a suffraget.

I was a suffraget. She said that I fought for women's rights.

That's why you're so tired this life.

I get it. It's like, How many years can I be doing it?

Speaking of everyone vote.

I literally just sent in my absentee I have to get my absentee ballot from the mail, which we talked about.

I'm going to be honest.

Mail?

What are you about to say?

I'm not stupid, but when you have something from the government come to your home, I don't know why it feels like if you mess it up, the police will knock on your door immediately.

No, it's citizen homework, and you feel like you're You're going to fail.

I'm like, What if I write in the wrong spot? I had to reread it. It's literally three steps, and I reread it seven times to make sure I signed my signature where I was supposed to sign my signature. Because all I could picture is someone in a registrar's office opening it and being like, She's an idiot. While I was doing it, I was like, There are so many people that open this up and are like, No. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

No one prepares for government stuff. Famously, my first job. Do you remember the first time you ever had to fill out a W-2 or 9 or something? Two or something? Yeah. One of the questions was, Do you want to pay city tax? I thought it was like, How do you feel? I was like, I don't want it. Oh, no. So I checked it off the box. So fast forward, I had an account and do my taxes. I was making no money at the time. He called me and he's like, Are you sitting down? And I was like, Why? And he goes, You owe the government $6,000. And I was like, Why? And he goes, You checked you didn't want to pay city taxes. Don't you know you have to pay city taxes? I go, I thought they were asking if I wanted to. I thought they were asking my opinion. I thought that was really polite. I'm voting for no city taxes.

You're literally legally blonde. You're like, Delaware, no sales tax. That's a good one.

Oh, my God. So now my dad will not let me live it down. But look, they should- No, that's hilarious. What was I going to say? Yes. I don't want to pay it.

No, it's literally the same as when you first start taking standardized tests as a little kid. Filling those out used to give me such anxiety. I don't know why.

When you go out of the circle.

When you had to bubble in each letter of your name.

They were like, If you get the circle wrong, it doesn't count, and you're upset.

People in your class said their name was too long to fit in all the squares. I was like, Oh, my God, that's a crazy journey. I can't even Yeah.

I'm PTSD from school.

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Discover Centra's Simple Savers, your go-to for great value this week. Save with offers like, selected inspired by CENTRA breakfast deal, any three items for six euro. Club 12 camp pack, selected range, five euro each plus deposit. And Caciero Del Diablo, Sauvignon Blanc, eight euro. Centra. Live every day. Enjoy alcohol sensibly. I will also shout out something very funny happened at the live shows. My favorite memory was we do a Q&A at the end, and there's always a wide variety of questions. Some girls raise their hand. They don't think they're going to get picked on. They're like, I don't have a question. I didn't know it was going to get picked on.

Honestly, the Q&A is so giggly-quoted. It's so chaotic. I wouldn't want it to be any other way because it's truly being in school and you're not paying attention. And all the kids are drunk. All of a sudden, the teacher asks you a question. You're like, I didn't prepare.

Then one girl, she just tore us apart in the funniest way. She was like, Let's do a never, have I ever? Have you ever shot yourself in a bodega? Have you ever cried in a reality TV? We were like, Okay, okay.

Okay, I forgot about that.

Then some girls would just tell crazy stories or take a dig at my outfit.

Which I give girls a lot of credit because to stand up in front of 3,000 people that that you don't know and tell your deepest, darkest thing that's happened. Someone stood up and told us their worst sex story ever. We were like, This is a Q&A.

But then afterwards, everyone laughed really hard. I was like, I was nervous for you, and you nailed it. No, she did a great job. My favorite moment is I'm looking like Grace is picking people. They're raising their hands, and then I see a crutch. Someone took their crutch and was just point to get in the air for Grace to pick on them.

It was like multiple people on crutch.

Then another person starts putting their crutch. Then someone tagged us on Instagram with crutches and they go, I wasn't sure if I was Hannah or page-coded, and I realized I'm Des-coded.

Wait, that's so...

People are raising their crutsches to get picked on, which I like a little creativity.

No, the girls have been amazing. Craig made a cameo. Craig made a cameo. My parents made a cameo.

Can you tell them what your dad said? Okay. Well, before I look up, I looked to him. By the way, I'm the one that's like, Let's get these people on stage. And he was like, we don't need to complicate things. I'm like, no, it's hilarious.

I don't want to stress anyone out. I don't want to add more admin to anything. I don't want to...

See, I like to...

You're like, Let's see what happens. I'm like, Let's fuck shit up. I'm like, let's plan it.

I'm like, Gary, do you want to go on stage? And Page is like, Look, I don't think he could handle that. He's like, What?

He said, What are you talking about? I can freaking go out there.

I can go out there.

Come on, I'll go out on stage. I got it. I could do it. I'm like, Okay, dad, I'm just going to let you know I've resorted to mess. I for this exact reason. I'm going to go with your flow.

But he's so cute. He watches the whole show backstage.

I can feel him pacing backstage. I'm making eye contact.

He's always in a different spot backstage. He's always in a different spot backstage. He's always smiling. He's laughing.

He's also so dad-coated in terms of I can feel him looking at the way the lights are put up in the ceiling, looking at all the different technician things that are happening.

Yeah, he's our creative director who doesn't speak. No, truly. He's watching, and we do... It was at one point in the Izzy trash, and I was like, Let's bring out someone who isn't trash. We talk about the dad. I go, Let's bring out Gary DeSorbo. He comes out. There's a roar. An uproar. An uproar. He, during the headlights.

I could see his face get immediately white.

Immediately pale. Then I offer him the mic to say, What's up, gigglers? He immediately- To at least say hi.

Just hi.

You don't have to give a speech.

No, you don't have to crack a joke. Just say, What's up, gigglers? Hello.

He immediately runs off stage.

He's like, No, he literally puts his hand up like, Don't even think about handing me that microphone. I came out for a wave. He was Princess Diana at our show. He was our Princess Diana. He came out, he waved, he walked off.

He walked off. We got upstairs.

I go, What happened? I thought you were going to do a big grand finale. I thought you were Countess Luanne and your show was... Cabaret. Cabaret was starting next. He was like, Wow, that was scary. That was, you got to be different to do that.

I go, Yeah, I'm mentally ill.

Truly. We get back the next night. I'm getting a little anxious before, and he goes, You know, just pretend you're Frank Sinatra and Hannah's Dean Martin. I go, You want us to be drunk men from the '60s who perform Christmas songs? What is the correlation between us and the rat pack. I'm like, Were you even born? I'm like, I know that I wasn't.

That was the most Italian shit you could have ever said.

He couldn't think of any other current celebrities that go out on a stage. He went fully old school.

You're Frank. I'm Dean. For sure. Maybe we were Frank Sinatra and D. Martin in a past life. Honestly?

You never know. But I know that I wasn't French royalty, which is what I really was hoping for.

You're really upset. No, you're really upset.

I'm a little let down by myself. I'm a little like, We're going to have to work a little harder.

You're disappointed.

I'm disappointed in myself.

We did have so much fun at the shows, and you crushed it. You're feeling yourself again. You're doing great.

No, I'm definitely feeling a lot better. I can't say enough good things about beta blockers. And Also, I think knowing... Here's another thing that I truly do believe, a little bit placebo effect. Even though I have been taking them before the shows, and I recommend, if you do feel like this, taking them before you have to talk at work or whatever, even knowing I have them in my bag is another comfort, which is true to my personality. I need a backup plan. If there's one thing about me, I need to have multiple escape routes. I don't know if in a bad life, I was trapped somewhere because I need to know I can leave, go home, sedate myself at any point.

It's all like playing games with yourself because anxiety is like you're playing a game with your own mind, but you're losing. This is actually blunt and fucked up, but I was walking here and I thought about it because I was thinking about the patriarchy. I think about how TikTok and all these places are just telling women all the things we have to do physically for ourselves, with our hair and our skin and our bodies and da da da. I'm like, Whatever What happened to focusing about your personality? Wait. Whatever happened to working on your aura and your energy that you bring to the function? Because I swear to God, the rest really comes with it. You know how many people look so pretty on Instagram and are so shitty? You're like, How could that person be single? It's like, Have you ever talked to them before?

Have you ever looked at pictures of yourself when you were truly having a really good time and you look way prettier than times that you're smiling in the picture, but you weren't having a good time and you look uglier. Yes.

No, it's fucking real. I do think there's so many people that are working so hard on their looks when it's like, work on... Listen to funny podcasts. Surround yourself with interesting people that make you feel good about yourself. Consume content that's positive and interesting. Get a passion for something. Get a cat. These things enhance your...

This is just a speech to sublimitly message the gigglers to get cats.

What I'm saying, do things enhance your aura? It really does help because I really feel like sometimes girls feel like my life is over once my skin starts to sag a little. It's like, Have you ever seen Meryl Street? That bitch is glowing.

Truly, truly glowing. I also feel like we are doing that on tour because we've been pushing ourselves to go and do something in whatever city we're in.

I'm proud about it. No, I'm actually so proud because normally I'm just in the hotel room in your own thoughts or sleeping. But I do have to say, when you're doing the self-care shit, it's equally as important to fulfill your stuff. Fill your cup as...

You said something before, and then I was going to say something now I forgot.

I said something about aura. But work on your personality. That's the meanest shit I've ever had. Just hearing that sentence. No, but no one ever works on their personality. No one ever does. When actually, that's the reason 95% of people are single.

That phrase is not said enough. In therapy, why don't you work Work on your personality?

One thing that I love about Irish and British people is they're obsessed with Chad or the crack, which is like, they'll meet someone and having good crack means you can make fun of yourself, take yourself seriously, and you have good back and forth. You ever date a guy and you're like, he's great, but he's missing something? Yeah.

He's missing the crack. Yes. Well, I feel like Americans... I don't want to make this an American English thing, but I feel like Americans are very list-oriented, especially when we date, because I feel like as women, we're so organized. When we are dating, we're like, do we have this? Do we have that? Do we have... Great. It should... Scientifically, this should work where maybe Europeans are a little bit more lax and they're like, No, let's see if we even vibe. Let's see what the vibes are. Where we're more like, We need to accomplish.

Yeah, work on your vibe and less on your pore, how big your pores are. That's my advice.

Also, I love working on how big my pores are.

Because I feel like you like to put all your anxiety into your skin. Yes. You're like, This mask will solve all my problems. And you're like, what?

I literally, before we started recording, wrote on my to-do list tonight, overnight mask.

Yeah, that's not fixing anything. Nothing.

I'm like, this I could go me to work on my stress levels all overnight mask tonight.

Anyway, what is this overnight mask if the gigglies are interesting?

It's that TikTok one, but I get mine on Amazon.

Is it the one that peels off?

This is where there are certain moments where I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, such a millennial. You know how it's like millennials need to do big purchases on a desktop? We have to put lights on. Okay, my version of that is I can't really buy things on TikTok shop because I feel like it's fake.

So do I.

I'll get the thing I want on TikTok shop, and then I'll go to Amazon, type it in and buy it from Amazon.

Or I buy it on Instagram shop.

Instagram shop, I've only ever purchased clothes, and it's really connected to my Revolve account.

Yes, exactly. Also, I have a question for you because some people read books, which I'm very impressed by. I'm so proud of them. But I was thinking, who's reading more? These people who read books or me putting captions on every TV show, closed captions. Am I reading more? Does that count? No one talks about it, but Bitch has been reading.

Okay. I'm so glad you're bringing this to the forefront, especially during this time in our nation. Alex Cooper is somewhere interviewing Kamala, and we're like, Have we really dissected?

I actually was going to advertise the hug to a Girl, but it was the day Alex Cooper was doing Kamala. Because I was going to be like, I got the best interview ever, and then I was like, Oh, wait. Don't forget what you were going to say. You were going to say something important. You literally set it all up.

What were What are you talking about? My brain is fried.

I'll say one thing while you're remembering. The Hawk to a Girl. I did her podcast. She's my favorite because I actually was off TikTok during the week she went viral. When I got back on, it was people just commenting about how she's so viral. I was fascinated by it. She was working at a factory, living in the middle of nowhere in Tennessee. Working at a factory?

What factory?

I don't know the details. She had quit college, and she was just out with her friends. Then she says this funny thing, haktu, on that thing and laughs.

This is crazy. I don't think I've ever even seen the original video.

No, because It grew bigger than itself so quickly. But I met her and she's just this sweet, naturally, very funny person. But it's funny, they took the video and made it this sexual thing. When it's like, she's for the girls. That's something we would say, and the girls would die laughing. Me and her were joking because I don't like spit. I think spit is disgusting. Yeah, you hate spit. I hate spit. Then we were talking about orgasms and all that. I was like, this is the world you're in, but unfortunately, Unfortunately, it turned into you being objectified by all these dudes. Anyway, just shout out to her. She's funny, she's charitable, and she's just trying to survive. Wow.

I've never heard you describe someone as charitable, and that was really nice. She donates.

She literally was like, she donates all her money.

That's so nice.

She was like, I never had money. Now that I'm making some money, I want to give it to people in need. Meanwhile, people are giving her hate on the internet for getting famous. I'm like, there's worse famous people out there than the Hawk to a Girl.

You know what I hate is when people are like, We're making the wrong people famous. Who do you want famous? Give me someone that you want famous. Shut up.

Yeah. Also, everyone's famous nowadays. Everyone's famous. If you want to be famous, you can be famous. Just start posting. Make a TikTok. Make one TikTok, and it's fine. Discover Centra's Simple Savers, your go-to for great value this week. Save with offers like, selected Inspired by CENTRA breakfast deal, any three items for six euro. Club 12 Campack, selected range, five euro each plus deposit. And Casiero Del Diablo, Sauvignon Blanc, eight euro. Centra. Live every day. Enjoy alcohol sensibly. Did you remember what you were going to say when you said, The country is in shambles?

Okay. The country is divided right into two very distinct groups. One group is people that love... What's it called? Subtitles. People that love subtitles. Then it's people that are so purely enraged by them, they can't watch the show if you're a subtitles person. Yes, Des hates the subtitles. I identify as a subtitles person because I'm multitasking. I'm looking up. Maybe something on my phone is also going off at the same time. I need to be able to- It gives us two ways to understand what's going on. I'm not great at critical thinking. I'm not great at What's it called?

Processing anything.

I'm not high, but I literally feel high.

Oh, focusing on one thing.

No, I'm not good at...

Forming sentences.

What's it called? Reading comprehension. Oh, so it's like... So I need to hear it and I also need to read it.

Do you know what people will... Dez said he did that in China when he was learning Mandarin. He put it, so you're learning English. I'm learning my first language.

Again, I'm falling in love with relearning my first language.

This is going to sound dumb, but I was watching Slow Horses, and it's this British show that's really complicated spies, and they speak really fast. I'm putting the subtitles.

The only thing I'm not putting subtitles in, and me and my brother have talked about this because he's also a fan of subtitles, is when we watch stand-ups.

Yeah, because stand-up, the subtitles give away the joke.

It's faster, yeah. It gives away the joke. It ruins the whole- It ruins the timing.

You're so fucking right.

But if you're watching anything else, I think it adds to it.

Yeah, A hundred %. Because I actually think we miss a lot.

We've read so many shows.

No, we are avid bookworms. Anyway, welcome to our Book Club. Today, we recommend...

What are we recommending? Actually, I did just watch something before I here, and it was so U-coded. I was like, Sweet Bobby.

Is that the- The girl that got catfished? I was trying to watch it last night, and I passed out before it started. Oh, my God. It's really good. Wait, I'm so excited.

We're going to watch it tonight. Basically, she doesn't just- Don't give away what happens. Okay, she doesn't just get catfish. She gets catfished by a whole ring of people.

Multiple times.

It's just, no, they're all connected. They're all in on it. But it's all the catfish. She has this whole network of people, of guy friends, female friends, family members of the friends.

They created a new universe for her.

Yes. Like an alternate reality. It was just this one catfish, and it was 10 years of this woman's life. Then when you figure out who it is, it's so crazy. You're going to love it.

Wow. I'm really excited to I know it was a successful podcast back in the day.

Oh, I didn't know that.

I actually watched, I think it was on Amazon. Do you know who Die Antword is? No. Die Antword? No. Do you know who they are, Chris? Look at Chris.

I thought you just said Giggly.

They're this South African music band. It's this guy who's a rapper named Ninja. The girl- All I can think of is-What's her name?

90 Day Fiancé. The one guy that was- New York, South America. Soulja Boy. It's like, We already have a Soulja Boy. Nobody brought that up enough. Nobody brought that up enough.

You can't just be Walmart Soulja Boy.

Yeah, you can't just be like, We already have one.

She's a jiggly squad. It's Ninja and this girl. They fall in love, and they love making music together. Yolandi, is it her? Her name is... Yolandi. Yolandi, yeah. She has this high, really cool voice, and he's a rapper. They are making music together, and they're broke. They have no money, and they're just making music. Nothing's happening. They love each other. Love each other. She gets pregnant. They still have no money. They have a baby. Perfect. No money. Have a baby making music, and they're just obsessed with music.

Are they working? No.

I think she might have been working.

They're really trying to make their dreams come true In the music industry. In the music.

Then she sees this guy and she thinks he's really cool. He has a certain esthetic to him. Ninja gets jealous that she thinks that this guy is cool. Then he changes his whole esthetic to be this guy. It's a bit... There's a word to the esthetic. I forget what it is. They lean into this new identity of theirs, and they make this new sound. They put it out. This was back in the day, 07 or 08. They put it out on the internet, just on a website, and nothing happens. Then a couple of days later, it starts to pop off. It starts to go viral.

Like a song?

A song and a music video. They put all their money into it. It blows up so big. It's called Enter the Ninja. Everyone should watch it. They're crazy. It's weird and dark, but artsy.

How old are they at this time when they put this song out?

I think they're in their 20s. I know this happened in 2008, 2009. By 2013, I was watching it on YouTube, so it took a while to get to America. But they blew up.

Wait, I need to see a picture of them.

It's crazy.

No, I don't like them.

No, they're like, wild. So they start getting all this hate because people are like, This is weird. This is bad for South Africa. But they're blowing up. They're doing all this stuff together. And then they're finally famous and rich. Their dreams come true. But they're breaking up because they start getting jealous. Of each other. Of each other. Okay. Then long story short, they end up back together. It was a beautiful love story and a good documentary. They're very interesting artists. It's just about their life. Yeah.

I thought you were going to say one of them dies.

I know. That wasn't fun. No one died. I'm so sorry.

No one freaking dies?

But it's also from the lens of their daughter telling the story.

Oh, interesting.

The daughter actually got them back together.

Oh, she's a little parent trapped.

But it's so funny to me when people are poor and their dreams aren't coming true, but their relationship is so good, and then their dreams come true and they're rich and you think it solves everything, but it actually is the worst thing for their relationship. No.

I still can't really love Chris. What's his name? Chris... Shoot. Who is married to Anna Faris.

Chris Pratt.

Chris Pratt. I don't know why they're such a... They're not even that. I feel like they weren't even that famous of a couple that they've stuck in my brain. That she was more famous, then he popped off, and then he left her. I will just never get over that.

Fame changes things, but I also think it depends if you like to party. You're so right. I think it's the people that like to party that it changes things because otherwise, if you just stay in your house, nothing changes.

Nothing changes if...

Nothing changes. Nothing changes if you don't change your location.

Nothing changes if you don't turn your location off. No, once you've walked through the door of, I don't party anymore, you really can't go back. Anyone who's still there, you can't You're like, Sorry, we don't have the same interests anymore.

There's this whole life of people wanting to get famous, so they get tables at clubs. I've never even tried to get a table, except at my Bachelorette, which you got.

Because when I first moved When I went to New York, I was like, My goal is to go to every single club. If the doorman doesn't know me at every club, I'm a loser.

The only doorman who knew me were in Murray Hill because I'd watch fantasy football on Sundays at... Jimmy John? Jimmy John.

Wait. Haley worked there as a bartender. What year would that have been?

Tell me what year you would have gone to Jimmy John. 2016, 2017. Every Sunday, and Haley worked there as a bartender, and when I'd go on a date- 2016, 2017. 2018.

Okay, so I would have been there 2015, 2016.

Okay, we could have overlapped, and I would bring a date there and not tell them I knew the bartender, and she would judge the date. Why was Jimmy John's- Jimmy John's, Iconic.

Why was Jimmy John's your entrance into the New York City party scene where it was like...

I love how that's where I started and ended, though.

That's where you started and ended. I feel like that's where I started, and I took a real turn to be like, I'm a club rat. You'll never see me at a bar like this ever again.

It's like weed. It's a gateway drug. It's a gateway drug. Because it was all just like...

Because it was so many guys concentrated in one spot. You couldn't go anywhere else that had this many dumb men.

It's because I had two dumb roommates who... We were on flag football teams, we were on volleyball teams, so we'd go to Jimmy John's. Not Jimmy John's.

Is it called Jimmy John's? I don't know. Did we actually just make up that name?

Jimmy John's is a sandwich company.

Wait, what are we talking about? What are we talking about? But here's the crazy thing. We're talking about the same place.

What if I'm just talking about a sandwich? I hung out some point.

Where the fuck are we talking about?

We're talking about What did you say before? Jimmy Joe's. Chris, do you not know what we're talking about? You guys are of the age.

You should be there. You know why I love Giggly Squad so much? Because once you leave college... You know when you're in college and you have a hungover next day and everything's funny. You're just like, I never want to leave this place. This is the best day of my life. We're all in our jammies eating food and everything's hilarious. No responsibility. No one cares about you. That is Giggly Squad. It's like that hungover next morning where you're not sick, you're just silly.

But you're a little sick in the head. But we're thinking it's cute.

If you have a moment of silence and you think back to everything you've ever done, you're like, Oh, that's scary.

Did you ever go to Bonk?

I didn't go to a bar.

It's called Bank, but they spelled it B-A-N-Q-U-E, and it was on the corner of Brojay's Brojay's. Brother Jimmy's. Yes. Yes. Brother Jimmy's. Have we been calling it Jimmy Chops? Brojay's. Brother Jimmy's. Wait, I'm there a lot. You were there a lot? Yeah, I was there a lot. Were you in Murray Hill, that one? Yes.

Around the corner was the Barrel Saloon where everyone that went to Syracuse.

Would you ever go downstairs and shoot the basketball?

Of course. I met some of my best friends in that bathroom downstairs, I feel like.

I fear.

That's where my... Oh, my God. I love meeting girls in the bathroom. That bathroom.

Bro Jay's bathroom was...

Then I feel like there was like 205 Club.

See, I never went to the clubs because I don't like loud music. It wasn't a real club.

It was in a basement. But I feel like it was Bro Jim's. Then the next two years, it was like- Bro-Jays.

Haley He was a bartender there. That's crazy.

I definitely met Haley then, I feel like at some point.

Yeah. Wow. You ever think of our whereabouts? I want to see it written down Manhattan of us from the moment you moved to Manhattan, where we were every day, and if we ever were in the same building or walk down the street.

You just want a love story of us. It's like, what is our invisible string theory?

No, as As Kim said...

What are you wearing? The wise words of my mother, what the fuck are you wearing?

Kim liked my outfit recently, so I'm on a high. But she'll bring you right back to Earth. Oh, yeah. She's not... She keeps me on my toes. I want to impress her, but I also know that part of her thinks it's cute when I don't dress well.

Yeah, she loves it. She loves you being you.

Anyway, you guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. We had a A lot of tour recaps to do. We're having so much fun on the tour. Madison, Go Badgers, Milwaukee.

I can't tell you how excited I am to go to Madison, Wisconsin.

I'm going to be annoying. I'm going to be like, That corner, I did this. No, I want you to be.

That restaurant, we did this. I want you to be. I'm very excited. I feel like I've been saying, Go Badgers for four years of my life now.

When I tell you the passion for the Badgers in this town is unreal. It's crazy.

Do you guys have a live Badger? Do you have any statues of Badgers?

We have statues all over the place of Badgers. I don't think PETA allowed an actual Badger. I think they're also very dangerous.

The African honey They are. Heck, freaking, yeah, they are.

Scariest animal in the world. We literally used to say that. We're like, Are badgers? Scariest animal. Google it. African honey badger. Whip your fucking head off. They're like, Okay, it's a rodent.

Imagine that was the New York City hippos. Hippopotamists are actually super fucking dangerous. Read a book. Okay. Thank you, guys.

We love you, guys. Bye.