Transcript of Giggling about breakups, blisters, and public meltdowns

What's up, giggler?

Gary, fix your WiFi.

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

What is up, my gravitational giggler?

It's a new one. It's a good one.

So we did our first second episode. Yeah. And if you guys haven't noticed, we're in a new studio, and our YouTube now have full bodies. And I am just crumbling under the pressure of getting an outfit together for this.

Because we're used to having a table in front of us. And also, I see so many people do podcast clips, and I'm like, Oh, shoot. They blew their hair out. They put on a good outfit. And then everyone And then my mom's like, You love outfits, you love clothes. Why do you show up to Giggly Squad and you always look a mess?

Well, you pretended to work out this morning.

I pretended to work out this morning. Also, I'm one week before my periods. My poops are huge.

Yeah. Take advantage.

What was I just saying?

Well, I dressed up like a '90s bully. Yeah.

But Hannah said something so not Hannah. She was like, Let's say what our outfits are. Where does one even get that T-shirt?

This is a brand called Only New York. And then I'm actually wearing these A Gold, a Goldy, Agelda jeans, Beryl.

Okay. Thank you for leaving the best for last. What the hell are on your feet. I've never seen a Mary Jane Adidas. I didn't even know they made those.

Look, I don't do ballet flats unless you can run in them. That's crazy. And sorry for all you audio listeners.

You got to go to YouTube. That's a diabolical shoe. And you want to know what? When I was with you the other day-Sorry, Velcro.

Sorry, I don't want to tie my shoe like an adult.

I actually meant to bring this up to you the other day because-Put your finger down. I had to run downstairs, and I couldn't find my shoes on Tuesday when we hung out. And so I put yours on. And as I slip them on, I was like, What the fuck are these? I'm never in my life.

When I see a traditional shoe, I'm like, I can't work with this. I need otherworldly shapes.

No, Because when a heel croc came out, I was like, that's a joke. I thought they were doing a April Fool's joke. Oh, my God. Look, we do heels. Not really. It's just for the shoot. And you were like, I'm buying them. I have all the jibbit.

Look, the Hannah Coded They'll send me the craziest sneaker heels all the time. And I'm like, Thank you, bot.

Someone sent me orthopedic heels. Was it you, actually?

Just orthopedic heels and cats on my feed.

You said you have a lot to I'm not going to talk about it.

Real quick, just promo. Page and I have been hanging out.

No, it's actually not good for the business of the podcast. It's not good.

I have no motivation, but I have to go back on tour. Not have to. It's game time. I just have to get out of vacation mode to I'm going to go on tour. I'm going to Idaho on Wednesday. So Idaho, all over Colorado, LA, San Francisco, Seattle, Nashville, Atlanta, Durham, Charlotte, Indianapolis, Milwaukee. We're going. I'm about to black out for two months, and then I shoot the Hulu special. I February 28th in Toronto.

Now, are you going to take a beta blocker? Yeah.

I've been warned you guys the two weeks before I shoot this special, I'm going to be in psychosis. I'm going to be talking on the pod, but I'm I'm going to be still in my head.

I've never seen you nervous for anything except the week before you did your special. You were not yourself at all.

No, I had to apologize to people when I walked in a room, I'm like, Hey, I'm going to be weird. I don't know who I am or what I'm doing. I do think, though, because it's my second special, I know what to expect, and it's going to make me a lot more calm. The Netflix thing, it's like, I've never filmed a special, so everything that could go wrong, I was worried about going wrong repeatedly in my head for every day. Anyway, it was a dark existence.

And now we're back.

We're back, and I'm like, Why don't we do it again? No, but I feel a lot better now.

And where are you filming it again? Toronto.

Oh, right. The Toronto Girls are amazing. Insane.

And you filmed it last time in Philly.

In Philly? Yeah. I love how also you get off in your comfortable exercise outfit, looking at me going, So where you have to go?

I'm like, Wow, I have no plans this week. Maybe I'll wear my pink workouts at tomorrow?

Don't worry. Giggly Squad, you know I'm going to get your ass back on tour.

Was this we were going to up our outfits or no, we're going to stay ourselves?

I only have so much to give to this world.

I just feel like When I do Giggly Squad, I can't be in an outfit that I would normally socialize in or go out in because that's a persona of me. That's a fake person that you meet on the street.

That's the character that I wrote.

That I've created. Okay.

She has made up motives and plot lines.

She's annoying, honestly. Okay, with her fucking ballet flat. She's annoying. Anywho.

No, I have a lot for us to talk about. Well, okay, let's I did the gross stuff out. I did something so embarrassing this morning. I was at a nice coffee shop with my husband. It was really quiet, birds chirping. It's 8: 30 AM. And I decided to get a croissant. And immediately I felt I had to fart. But it was a little one.

Are you in line?

No, I'm sitting at a table. Okay. Inside, but-Outdoors. Okay, outdoors. Outdoors. I feel like I have to fart. It's outdoors. It's a free country. It was a little one. But you know when it's a little one and somehow it comes out with a trumpet, the smaller it is, the louder it is, and the higher pitch it is.

No, I'd actually kill myself.

I'm sitting with my husband and he goes, Hannah. I don't react because look, as a girl, if you don't react, a man will be blamed. So I just sit there. And Dez is... This is actually my least favorite part about him. He's one of those people who's like, You farted.

He's like a call-out person.

He's a snitch. I'm like, Whose team are you on?

Wait, I didn't see that for him.

Because he thinks it's funny.

The only time I've ever been like, Dez, is one time you were telling a story and he was like, That's not what happened. Tell it right now. No, he does that.

No, Dez.

I was like, Sorry, this She's performing.

Listen to the last bird of one episode. My biggest pet peeve is I say a story and he goes, No, that's not what happened. And I go, Oh, my God. I was adding Jenna Sequoia. Yeah, you were adding- Adding Spice. And he's like, Well, if I'm part of the story, I can't be part of your lie. And I go lie. That was a fucking incredible monolog.

I put some sprinkles on it. Give me a break.

There's a thing with relationships. We're at the point where even yesterday, we were going to get dinner with you. And I was like, I want to be early. And he's like, You only like to be early around Paige. And I'm like, Well, I respect her.

I can't believe you said that because literally right before we were going to dinner, I was like, Well, Hannah's not going to be on time. She's always 10 minutes late.

So Des was like, Is Paige going to be late? And I'm like, She's going to be early or exactly on time. And it was a 30-minute drive, and I was like, I'm not risking it. And he literally goes, You act so different with Paige. I was like, Sorry, we never go out to dinner. This is a big deal for me.

I haven't socialized in New York in three 10 years, and I've gone out every single night in Miami. I'm like, I'm calling friends I haven't talked to in 10 years. Wait, this actually, literally the other day, I was texting a girlfriend that I knew in college. And we've been friends since college, but we're not the type of friends where I'm like, What are you doing this weekend? We're the type of friends where every two months we'll check in or something.

But it's never deep- It's a story reply.

We're casual friends. Then I had another girlfriend who I've been also friends with for 10 years. Haven't seen her in probably five. But again, we keep up with each other. We'll talk every once in a while, whatever. All three of us hung out And every woman has the same experience all the time. We're just all the same. We all sat down and we were like, Oh, my God. How are you? What's going on? And then the first girl goes, Well, I'm so annoyed with my husband.

And the other girl goes, Okay, well, you want to hear what I'm dealing with?

And I was like, Okay, this took 4 minutes and 30 seconds, and we're back. Wait, can I say something? No, wait. It felt... No, I'm not finished. It felt so relieving because there There's something when you're in your 30s and you see a friend from your 20s, instinctually you're like, Well, I'm so different, and this is how, but also I'm still the same. And you almost feel like you have to impress them a little bit. But when they're Like your true friends, it's like, Okay, what's really going on? And you're like, Okay, well, actually. And it felt so nice.

We hate socializing, but I realized now when you're socializing with the right people, it's good for your mental health because they're a mirror. So it's healthy for you to see how other people see you, especially when you see yourself like shit sometimes. Yes. So to see other people be like, wait, but me too. We're the same is mentally healthy.

And there's times where you're like, only I feel this and only I'm going through this, and I can't tell anyone because they're going to think I'm weird or whatever. And then you say it.

And they finish your sentence.

Yeah. And they're like, I dealt with that last week.

Literally yesterday, this morning. That was us with the gigglers when you had a panic attack. And I was like, Who had a panic attack this week? And they were like, one, two, three. Me. So I fart at the coffee shop. Oh, right. And I try not to pull it. And Dez is staring at me. I got a film staring at me. And he goes, Did you just... And I start laughing. And he goes, Are you? Oh, my God.

The How much confidence you even have to do that? I would have literally risked- Women need to take up space. I would have literally risked my stomach exploding inside my body. This is the thing.

I'm an avid farter, so I know the ways to get around it. I got unlucky where there was no bird chirping in that moment, and he was dead silent. I'm just in New York City, okay? You can fart anywhere in New York City, and you are like, there's a fucking building exploding. And of course, I could fart in New York City. We're in Miami, and there's no one. Everything is peaceful.

You can do anything on the street of New York City. I can projectile vomit, and no one would know. And people would just be like, Are you okay? Okay.

So he looks at me, and then he starts looking around I'm like, Stop. And he's just standing left and he goes, Those people heard.

A hundred %, Hannah. A hundred %. This is the reality. This is the public. We're out on this. Yeah, they heard. They have ears.

So then I'm like, We have to go now. Yeah, I would assume I have a whole sandwich left, but I was like, We have to go.

The owner is walking out.

You do have to go. Excuse me, ma'am. There's too many hot people in Miami. You can't do this. But I look back and the girl has her Airpods in, and I'm like, She has her Airpods, and we're good. And he goes, No, it was the family over there. And I'm like, A whole family?

We got to go. They're appalled. They're trying to have a vacation.

So we left. Also not to call Dez out again, but speaking of you talking to your friends and having this amazing, beautiful connection. I have to say what happened. I'm at breakfast and this-I love that.

For years of this podcast, every story that you've told, I'm at dinner, I'm at breakfast.

So I'm at this lunch. My life surrounds meals. Okay, so this particular meal is at breakfast. And this handsome guy walks by. And he looks at me and I'm like, Obviously, I'm so good-looking. And he goes, Hey, Can you give Page my number? Stop. And I was like, I pause because I'm your gatekeeper. And I was like, What's going on? Wait.

Oh, you told me that? Yes. I think he DMed me.

I said, well, I just looked at him and I was like, Why are you single? Because he's 36. Handsome. What happened? And he's like, I'm going through a separation. I was like, okay. From a wife? Who knows? But the man is bleeding out. He's vulnerable. I said, Okay, we'll see what we could do. But then the next day, Des wakes up at the crack of dawn, comes back to the hotel room at 10: 00 AM, and I'm slowly getting up. And he's like, I just hung out with that guy for an hour at the coffee shop. So immediately I go, So my future husband has already...

You want to know what? That's what I want from a future husband. I want you to stalk me. I want you to change your name, infiltrate my life. Be like, I've been obsessed with you for years.

If you wanted to see me well. If he wanted to, he would. So immediately I'm like, This is amazing. I'm about to get so much tea. I go, So what happened with the separation? He goes, What? He's going through a separation. What's happening? He goes, No, we talked about cars. He goes, I'm not asking about his personal life. I go, If a girl was going through a separation and she was just washing her hands in the bathroom, I would know about it. If I'm in an elevator with a girl who's going through a separation, I would smell it and be like, that dude. She'd be like, I know. You know what he did? I go, Tell me what he did. There are girls in my DMs who have told me more details.

Wait, now my DMs from the girls are like, Hey, I know you said on the pod, don't DM me about your boyfriend problem because you're just going to say, break up with him. But listen to this one, but it's the same answer.

Anyway, men, they respect each other's privacy in a way that- Is stupid. I don't respect.

You want to know what? It's in a selfish way.

Well, because they never had to in life. They never had to be like, I need help.

Yeah. Okay. I've been dying to talk about it since we started. Since we talked about it on the pod last time, the toxic mom group, I just love it.

So this is my problem.

I'm so obsessed with it.

I can't get myself to read a full-cut article because the words are so small.

Wait, they're so small. Why did they do that?

I'm keeping what I want to do with my time. I'll read Ashley Tisdale's article now, and I can't get to it. I can't do it. Did you read it? No. Okay, so without reading the article, what is the current update?

There was this article that I did read that was, I think, page six or something about Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hutchins and how they used to be really good friends, which I completely forgot that they were always out together, but even after. Then I feel like COVID happened, and then I forgot about them. But the article said that when Austin Butler broke up with Vanessa, Ashley stayed better friends with Austin because they were all friends, and Vanessa felt like she supported him more. So then they stopped talking. Wow. And when I read that, I was just like, you know what's so crazy is you're in high school, fucked up shit happens to you. You learn about different people's personalities, what friendship is like, and you're like, I never have to deal with that again. Then you get to college. You have one year where you're just like, No, I'm switching all my... Why was I friends with them? Or something happens. And you're like, I'll never deal with that again because I'm not in school. Now I'm an adult. I'm in the workplace.

You're going to say workforce. I was. We are in the workforce.

We are in the workforce. Then you get to an office and you're like, wait a minute.

Dude, office politics.

Offices are so scary. Then you're like, Okay, whatever. That's a professional. It's not in my personal life. I don't have to deal with it. Every stage of a woman's life, I feel like there's some type of situation where you have to... It's just like something happens with your friends, where I actually applaud the men for that because you never hear of that. You never hear of guys being like, he was my best friend all growing up, and then something happened in college- You were falling out. We never spoke again. So I actually admire that about their friendships. Okay, yeah, they don't talk to each other. I was going to say, it's like- They don't know anything about each other.

It's like those marriages where it's like, well, they don't sleep in the same bed, so obviously they can stay together. They haven't seen each other. Okay. Yeah. I'm not judging. But it's like when... But men do, even if you look at tennis matches, the women are not friends on tour. After a match where something goes wrong, I'm like, Well, I'll never speak to her again, where men will literally sleep with each other's girlfriends, get in a physical altercation, and then be like, It's okay, bro.

I'll see you tomorrow. I'll literally, I'll see you tomorrow. I don't know how they do that. But also I feel like every girl has had one friendship breakup where you're like, That was my canon event.

Yeah, because when a girl doesn't want to be friends with you, it hurts more because she really loved you for you. She wasn't having sex with you.

Exactly.

You weren't tricking her with your pussy.

You genuinely don't like my personality.

You genuinely know my heart and my soul. You know me more than my boyfriend. You're like, it's actually no for me. I'll see you probably see my vagina as much.

Since you went You didn't have a traditional high school experience. Have you ever had a big friendship breakup? Where you were friends with that person for a really long time, and then one day it was just like...

The only friendship breakups I ever had was reality TV, which honestly- Which is not real. It's not real, but it also was harsh because it was your entire friend group. One day they're like, and you're out. I've never lost seven people like that before. I I have. I have.

We make it actually more depressing.

I know you're going to be like, No, not really. But since then, I've definitely had growing apart because someone starts having a family or someone leaves jobs. I have a question for you that I think people might connect to. Everyone has that friend who might have partied a little too hard in their 20s and may have pissed off a lot of people and was a lot of drama. But But then we're at the point now in our 30s where a lot of these people have done work on themselves. They're sobering up, and they're reemerging into people's lives. Like, Hey, sorry when I was 24 and was in a K-hole. Now I'm 33, and I did ayahuasca, and I reflected. Do you let these people back into your lives? Wow. This is a very general question because I have friends who have used to party really hard and didn't do a lot of healthy things and may have hurt people.

This is a very polarizing statement, I'm going to say, but my mom has said it since I was little, so I don't really care. And it actually isn't... Whatever. But she's always said that people don't change, ever. She was like, I don't care if they went to therapy. I don't care if they did this. I don't care if they did that. They don't change, which I believe. But I also think people can grow. People can change. No, I don't wholeheartedly believe that, but in her defense, 99% of the time, whatever you didn't like about them is probably still a little bit there.

I did have one friendship breakup.

Oh, yeah. How old were you?

College. Okay. So it was really intense. She was my best friend, and we were on the tennis team together. And then she was having her own issues with the team and ended up leaving the team. And we had this falling out. It was sad, but I also was like, this isn't a healthy relationship anyway anymore. And then fast forward years later, she reached out to me and had done a lot of work on herself and was so self-aware of what happened, things that she could have done differently. Immediately, I was like, and I could have done this differently. We'll never be as close as we were, but I have 100% forgiven Yes.

I think that's where you have to get.

Because it's like, oh, we both know. We both were so apologetic, and both were clearly loved each other and expressed like, I missed you, and I'm so sorry.

It's very stressful for your own self to dislike someone. You really can't hate people. I mean, obviously, I have a list of people I fucking hate.

Well, active hate is bad for you.

Active hate, where you're actively, I don't know, texting them and fighting is so different Different than people that you're just like, They scare me. I don't want to be associated.

But love and hate are close. Where me and this girl were so close, and then it was like, for us not to be speaking, it was literally a breakup. So it's like a guy who you had a great thing with, but then there was miscommunication and got fucked up. And one day later in life, you're just like, By the way, I respect you and I love you. And it wasn't meant for us, but no hard feelings.

If a girl came back to me as a friend, I would be more into, possibly. But if a guy did, I would be- No. I would never even respond.

But even with girls, I would argue, you never be my best friend again.

Correct. I had a friendship breakup when I was in college, and I'm not kidding, it took me four years to get over it. And the final straw was, I remember, not even the final straw. It was when I realized she didn't want to be my friend anymore. It was her 21st birthday, and I was like, What are we doing? Oh, my God. 21. And she was like, Oh, I don't know yet. And then I saw she was in Atlantic City. She's like, Cool. She was in Atlantic City with her family. And I think that's why when we did a show in Atlantic City, I was so triggered.

We got in We were in a car and you randomly go, I'm not going to die in Atlantic City. And I was like, okay.

And I couldn't understand why I was having such an aversion to Atlantic City. And then I remembered that story and I was like, oh, yeah, because I've never been to Atlantic City or even thought about going because of that moment in my early 20s.

Not getting invited to a party where everyone else is invited. But that's what I guess Ashley Tisdale was talking about. Basically. That's what was happening.

She felt like she would see them at brunch and stuff. But that now in my 30s, go to brunch. Get out there, girls. Have the best time.

What's hard with the friend group, though, is sometimes it's one person being like, We're not inviting this person, and then other people are just going with it, but they're not necessarily on a team of something. It's like there's those followers in the middle. Wait, can I say something about- I like having one friend and one friend only.

Yeah.

Well, that's why when there's three friends, there's always gang-ups and stuff. Yeah.

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Can I say something about the workplace, too?

The workforce, yeah.

The workforce. It was very interesting, and it was just an Instagram, but I read it.

Oh, good.

It basically said how being the smartest or best worker in your office does not really mean that you're going to get a promotion. That promotions more so go to the safer person who's really in with the social of it all. Because I've been at companies where I was the one who was in meetings, trying to come up with new ideas or disagreeing with something or being like, What if we did this? And I was out of the box? And I wasn't going out afterwards with the company. And then I remember someone else got a promotion who smokes weed with the boss every weekend. And they basically were like, The person who doesn't speak up.

Maybe you should have done drugs, Hannah.

Again, drugs would have made me more successful. But if you're just not a risk and safer and just a yes, man, you're more likely to get a promotion, which- Interesting. I don't want to tell people- Wait, have you ever been promoted? I've definitely asked for a promotion, but told no.

I've never even brought it up.

But the thing is, I'm so entrepreneurial that every job, I just learned so much.

I was like, I'm not going to be here much longer. I'll do it myself.

No, I remember I went into my old notes and I saw a thing from a review meeting, and I wrote all the things that I did. And I was listening it out, and I remember them being like, okay.

You're fired. This is so cute, but you actually got fired last week. Why do you keep coming here?

I didn't know. Are you still getting checks in the mail? Because that's an accounting issue. Like, George Costanza in sign down.

It actually low-key is so funny to get fired.

Oh, it's literally like- Because you're just like, Fuck you.

I don't want to work here anyway.

You're like, So I'm on vacation. No, getting fired as a people pleaser has been the biggest growth for me as a human in my heart and my soul. Also, we all have those jobs in your 20s where you're like, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. And then you get fired and you're like, what? Also, one shout out. I've been getting some DMs about... Now, let me just say. Page number job, and she's incredible at it, is doing the ads. Every now and then, I get a message being like, I can tell that Paige rerecorded this ad. I can tell that she fought for her life to pronounce one of these words. I just want you guys to know you need to support her, and you need to support us. She's trying her fucking very best. This is her one job. You know how hard it is to read 20 ads? She She has the reading level of a second grader.

What people aren't understanding is that I'm not just reading the ads. I'm making them up as I go. She's a wordsmith. It's not like the brand sends you exactly what to read. She's a novelist. They're like, And make it your own. I'm like, Okay, well, in my life, I would cough here. I would mispronounce this word. There's so many times where I've had to rerecord ads, and Hannah has been Babe, you're dyslexic. I'm like, No, I'm not. It's like, Okay, you had to say L-M-N-O-P, and you said it backwards. Do you remember that one time I followed you? I was like, I know for a fact I didn't say it wrong. And then I relistened. I was like, Maybe I am dyslexic. No, I'm definitely something, but it's like, We're out of school now, so it doesn't really matter, and I'll live with it.

Can I come from men?

Was that the only thing you wanted to say? Just for people to stop judging how I read. Thank you for bringing awareness. I haven't started my book yet.

But it also was funny because obviously, I'm not listening to all the ads you do.

Okay, here's the reason why I do the ads, because when Giggly Squad first started, Hannah edited the podcast. I did the ads. Now that we have Grace, I send the ads to Grace. She'll edit them. She'll edit the podcast. I just never stopped doing the ads because it's part of my routine. It's part of my thing. Yeah.

And I wrote the book.

And And Hanna and her mom wrote the book. But you talk to Grace so much more than I do. So I feel like it's our thing. It's what keeps us.

By the way, I would love to help with the ads. We have a lot going on, and it could change tomorrow.

It's not sustainable, though, for the ads to split them up because it's just easier to go and do it all.

Once you start, you can flow. And also, you're really good at recommending things. You know it's good.

Well, that's the other thing. With The Ads, I've personally been like, Yeah, I use that hair product. It makes more sense for me to do it.

100%. But it is interesting because we've gotten some questions during live shows.

How do you- Dibby things up.

We both just do the things that we're good at, and that's it.

Which we haven't figured out what those things are, but we'll get back to you.

Also, I was with a man, not Des. Yeah. Not an affair. And I just have, oh, my God. Men are so fascinating. Where he was trying to find somewhere directions. And it's a classic, how men don't ask for directions. And I'm like, can we just check the phone? Because if we're walking the wrong direction for 10 minutes, I'm going to be pissed. And he's like, don't give up. Don't give up. And I'm like, give up.

I'm just trying to do better.

And then we get to this, we were shopping someplace, and he was like, I'm like, Let's ask the person where we were looking for slides. Yeah. Flip flops? Yeah, flip flops. I was like, Let's ask where they are. It's a huge store. He's like, I'm not giving up. I'm like, You're not a hunter. You're not impressing me right now.

This is not being filmed for television. You have to do it in a time.

You're wasting my damn time. This is a survivor. No one's judging you. Ask for help.

I don't think they like to, especially to another guy. I think that's why they don't like to ask directions, because it's always to When you stop to ask directions, it's usually a gas station. It's like a guy or whatever. But in a store or just general help. Yeah.

One thing about me, the second I walk in a store, if I know what I need, I am going straight to a person. I said, I'm helpless. I'm scared.

No, I'm the person on Listener service, zero, zero, zero. Give me a real freaking person.

I'm SOS on my forehead, except when I don't have anything to shop for and I'm just perusing. I'm so scared of conversation because as a people pleaser, they're probably doing fine. But all I hear is, Do you want to buy that? Are you sure? Do you want to buy it now? Do you want to buy it now? And I'm like, I would love to support, but I'm so scared.

Okay, that actually brings up a good point because I feel like I keep seeing that for whatever reason, it's very trendy to have a sister. Wait, what? I feel like all my TikToks are like, And here's my sister. And we're like, You had a sister this whole time, or And this is my twin. And it's all these TikToks of girls and their sister relationships, which I so envied my whole life. Then I saw this girl make a TikTok, and she was like, Wow, I don't have a sister. And so I feel like no one's ever actually told me the truth in my whole entire life because sisters are so like, you look disgusting. Why would you do that? Or you're acting like a weird... They're very...

I feel like our moms do, though.

I was sitting there and I was like, Oh, my God, has anyone ever told me the truth? And then I go, Wait a minute. I have text messages and emails about how I can improve and things that I can change. I was like, Wait, I've been told the truth 10 times more than any fucking sister out there.

Isn't it cute that our moms become our sisters now?

Well, now that I'm in my In our older sisters. Something will happen. And it's not like, oh, my God, I have to tell my mom because she has to fix it. It's like, I have to tell my mom because she's going to have a great come back to it.

Also, I saw this hilarious I guess, stand up by... I'm going to insert the name. Casey Shornima. She was saying, Isn't it funny how your dad is just your mom's boyfriend? You'll be going out to dinner. It's like, Are you bringing him? What am I supposed to talk to him about? When you go to the bathroom, you're just hanging out with your boyfriend.

I love the TikToks where it's like, Why would I talk to my best friend's ex? And it's like, It's their dad.

He's literally just the guy that she got sperm from. When your mom first complaints to you about your dad for the first time, it's so funny.

I said something the other day. I was on the phone with my mom, but usually she has me on speaker.

I'm like, should we break up with her?

Anyone in the kitchen could be listening. And I said to her, and I just don't relate because I come from a household where the woman is in charge and she's the smartest. And my dad goes, okay. And I'm like, so I don't identify that your dad is in charge because at my house, we don't care where he is.

But she's made him think that he has some power. And he's listening. He goes, what the hell? Like, he's firing against me. My mom's like, She's But your dad is literally your mom's boyfriend that like, yeah, hangs around. And it's always hanging around her.

He forgets your name.

Also, because I'm getting older, I am that family member. I did. Oh, my God. I did that thing, which you know your family member will call you someone else in the family's name, and you're like, How could you do that? I called Lois Andrea, who's my other little cousin, and I'm becoming everything that I was annoyed at my older aunts for to me. I'm the person that walks up to her and goes, You're getting so big. When you're little and someone says that, you're like, I'll blow my brains out. You're the eighth person that told me that today. But it's human nature. You just become your aunt.

Yeah, you just become your mom.

I'm just becoming every... I'm like, You used to be so little. I tell her a whole story that she doesn't care about. I'm like, You used to run up and down the stairs with those cheeks. And now you're like, Look at you.

She's like, I'm 16. Shut up.

Oh, also, I wanted to formally apologize. Last episode we recorded, it was really nice out, and I was like, Shall we walk back to your place? And you, stupidly, you get tricked every damn time.

Every damn time I'm with you.

Because I distract you with some good gossip. I'll be like, Let's talk about this. And we're walking. And look, it's a flow state. Walking, gossiping. And then you were wearing your I was wearing ballet flats.

And it was the first time I was wearing them. I had gotten them at the Woodbury Common Outlet, which is just like, there's nothing better than getting something at an outlet store. Yes.

That's real shopping.

It's real shopping.

I respect that. Yeah.

Because you have to go in and look around.

You have to park.

One time I was at Woodbury Common Outlet, and I'm not kidding, I was eight years old, and sometimes they would peak it at my goal weight. Okay. I've never been skinnier. And they used to do... Sometimes they would do... It was like sample sale pop-ups, but it was just like- I like to run food sampling.

I got excited.

No, it was just like extra stuff that either they couldn't sell or whatever. But it wasn't the store name. It was an empty store name. So any brand could be in there. And I remember one time Burberry was in there, and they had these Burberry pink and brown, like rain boots, and I found one of them, okay? And I was like, oh, the other one is obviously like, they have it in the back. They're not putting two because they want people to steal it or whatever. I had one in my hand, and I'm little. I'm a child, and I'm shopping with my mom. So I go up to her and I'm like, I have this boot, and this is the boot I want to buy. So she goes up to the counter and she's like, we need the other boot. And she was like, oh, the other boots out on the floor, it must just be somewhere. And my mom was like, okay, we'll look for it.

She made you scavengers on?

Well, it looked like a sample sale room. So it was like, shit was all over. This woman was holding the other boot. And now we're up at the counter. I'm a child, so I'm a child. So I'm like, Hey, that's my boot. Hey, I have the other boot, and I'm about to pay. That's my boot. And my mom gets into a fight with this woman, and the woman was like, No, I'm not giving you the other boot. I had it first. And my mom was like, Well, how do you know that you had it first when my daughter, who's a child, is holding the boot? Anyway, long story short, I actually don't remember what happened, but I do know that I don't have those boots. So I don't know what happened. What my mom ended up doing.

And that's what built character back in the day. Being at a mall, seeing everyone.

I know that I was revved up, okay? I was devastated.

I couldn't believe I didn't leave with the boots.

So now every time I go to Woodbury Common Outlets, I'm a savage. You want to cut me in line? I don't think so. I think about those boots from 1998, and I'll never let that happen again.

Clicking something to buy an Amazon will never give you that thrill. That was war. You were hunting.

And also, I hate that sample sales are such a New York City thing because we could have competition. If they did sample sales all over the country- Do they not? No, because all the The design district makes- Always in.

Because look, I love a sample sale. I'm at the point now, if I go a whole day without spending money, I feel like I made money. I'd be dead.

If I go a whole day without spending money, someone check on me because I'm dead.

Anyway, you texted me the next day and said, I'm bleeding out from your ankles. Because some of these designers shoes- From my ankles.

Hannah, I had 12 blisters in total.

You guys, we We work for 10 minutes.

I had six on each foot.

We walked for 10 minutes. I actually that night was going to apologize to you because I felt in my heart of hearts that you were in pain because we have that connection.

Do you want to know what pissed me off about it the most? What? I had planned to get a pedicure later that day. I can't go to a pedicured chair, bleeding out with open sores. I literally, I'd be like, just chop my feet off now of staff infection.

I was literally going to apologize to you, and then I turned on Great British Bake Off.

On pedicure-less?

Mm-hmm.

And I haven't gotten over it.

So I'm really- The moral of the story, don't listen to your friends when they want to walk or exercise because they're tricking you. I also wrote down, I have a social media strategy. I realized this is literally my social media strategy. It's two things. Whenever I post, you have to have a purpose. What's your motive? What's your niche? I have two posts. What is your motive?

Wait, is that funny? Okay, cut.

What is going to make the gigglers laugh? What is going to make them laugh? What is going to make them be like, hee, hee, kick their legs? And then what is going to rage bait? Rage bait page. What is going to rage bait page? Those are the two things I post. And if you look, there's nothing else that I post. It's laugh. And when I post a rage bait to page, you don't respond or if you're like...

Give me an example of a rage bait to me that you posted recently that I was like, hello.

My house.

Yeah. Well...

That's to you. That's not to anyone else. That's just to you. And for all the gigglers being waiting on page.

You put it on close Wait till I see it.

Those are the only two posts, and some of them are the same. Some of them rage bait and make the gigglers laugh. But that's all I post. Yeah.

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Oh, that a dog bit her kid. So she was like, Fuck that dog.

Yeah, she was like, Got rid of the dog. The com... Oh. The comment... Well, she did say after that. It's not funny. She did say after that, I will obliterate any dog I see, which I don't think she was being serious. It's Jennifer Lawrence. Obviously, she's not going to kill a dog.

But what a headline to give people.

No, I was like, oh, my God. When I saw it, I literally was scared to go in the comments because I was like, I've just said, hey, cats over dogs.

There's something about dogs that represent America. Where if you talk too bad about dogs, you're not patriotic.

That is so true.

Because dogs are men. Not appropriate. But a cat. She's a lesbian. She's women. She likes poetry. She drinks kombucha.

Yeah. She is piercing. No cat has ever bit a baby's face.

She believes in witches. Yeah.

But anyway, it was one of those moments where I watched the clip and I was like, could have reasoning because I'm a human, where I was like, I totally get... If a dog bites your newborn baby's face, you're going to obviously be like, Oh, my God, I'm scared of this dog now.

No, you don't mess with dogs and babies if a dog has ever shown aggression.

But I was so scared to click the comments, and then I clicked it, and it was just like, Oh, my. I'll never say another thing about a dog ever.

We were joking last night about this because we were talking about you ever watch a video and you think the comments are going to have a certain vibe and you want to add to it, and then you click on it and you're like, Oh, no, we are going in a complete different direction.

There are sometimes where I'm like, Wait.

The comments are a group mentality, and sometimes you are off. You think you're going to go down to silly goosy, and it's hate comments, or sometimes you think it's going to be hate comments, and everyone's like, Slay, and you're like, Okay.

It's usually public. I'm trying to think of an example because I feel like that just happened, and I was like, Wait, he's right. The comments were like, How dare you?

Yeah, but there's like an-Oh, you want to know what it was?

There was a guy who was at a Broadway play, and he was with his nieces.

You love a public meltdown? I love... Oh, there's nothing like a- That's very New York to be like, Shut the fuck up.

Well, I agreed with him because I'm sorry. When you go to the movie, this is why I will never go see a... Well, because I have a brain. Will you hate singing? I would never go see a wicked type movie in the movie theaters, because if someone started singing, I would be so annoyed.

This is my problem. I'm not going to say something publicly against a row of people. That scares me. I feel like if it's one person, you could give a little look or you wait for a more angry New Yorker to say something.

If you didn't see the clip, the clip is of a guy, probably in his 40s. He's at a theater. He stands up. He's yelling, I need security over here. Security comes over, and he's like, this whole row is obnoxious. They're singing the whole time. They're now using profanities. He's there with his two little nieces. I don't know what play they're at. Obviously, one, four.

He was saying, My nieces won't stop singing. They're so fucking annoying.

I I think Broadway is so different from the movie theater. Okay, the movie theater, fine. Broadway, the humans are up on stage. They're singing. You paid to hear them sing. Let them cook. Why would you make a sound at a play?

I also have PTSD from when you're on the bus and a bunch of girls start singing a song and you don't know the words.

I never turned in on that. That was so not me.

.

Any time there was a dance circle, I couldn't do that. I I actually-And you performing like that, I was like, no.

I saw a crazy altercation on a plane recently, and I hate talking too much about flights, but it is prime time for drama. Tell me who's in the wrong. Okay. Okay, so this lady is going to her seat.

You're witnessing this first-hand.

This lady is getting to her seat, and above her is someone's jacket.

Okay. She takes the jacket-In the overhead In the overhead bin.

In the overhead bin. She takes out the jacket and says, Whose jacket is this? Looks at me because I'm next to her. Wasn't mine. First time I'm innocent. The guy behind me was- Already?

Don't touch my shirt.

The guy behind you was like, That's mine. She goes, You can't put your jacket here and tosses it to him. She's wrong. Okay, and it always says- She's so wrong. It was Dez. It was Dez's jacket. It was Dez's jacket. Oh, my God. Now, mind you, across from her was an open... There was room. Okay.

Now, there's different- The bin is not assigned to that seat.

That's the thing. Your bin is not assigned.

Or they'd have numbers on the bin.

And it's first come, first serve.

Correct.

What she could have done, what I've done in situations where I'm going to sit and someone's jacket or things they could put underneath is there. You turn to the person who works there and you say, Hey, how would you think you can fit this up there? And then she can handle that in a professional manner.

Don't touch my stuff. She pulls out his coat and throws it at him. I would have thrown it right back at her.

Throws it at him. And Des flies all the time, so he knows his rules. He was calm as a gentleman as he could be. There was people walking through and overheard and said, Merry Christmas to her. And they were like, She's in a bad mood. And this lady just sat back down.

How old was the lady?

She was like 65. She was primed.

Where were you flying to, may I ask? Or where were Where's he coming from?

I don't remember. But then she was sitting in front of me the whole time. I was like, this woman disrespects my husband. When someone hurts someone you love, it's a different anger. But then I was texting Des, and I said, first of all, I'm so out of you for being so calm. Because at the moment, I was like, you could say something snippy. No, I would have freaked out. He was so calm. But I told him, I said, whatever is happening, don't take it personally. She has this interaction with people all day. She's full of anger. It has nothing to do with you. She's projecting on you. She's probably having a rough time. And that's how I think- Was she traveling alone? No, she had her husband with her.

And he didn't say anything?

He was scared.

What a beta What were we talking about before this? Because I feel like I was going to say something.

I have another hot take. Oh, my God. I know.

Hot take Sunday.

The best compliment comes from a child under five. Yes. But also the most painful remarks can come from- A child under five. They can make or break you. They're not holding back. They'll see you do something and be like, Why are your arms so sweating? Oh, my God. It's like in the morning, Lois will jump into my bed, throw a book at me and make her read to me and then go, Eew, your breath smells bad. I'm like, Okay, you first of all put a gun to my head, force me to read, don't let me brush my teeth, and then bully me for having bad breath. What abuse is this?

I love a child's... I wonder at what age your brain is like, Oh, I can't say... You just don't say... Because you're not consciously like, Oh, I can't say that anymore. But it's like you just don't say certain things.

If a kid That's what it says, you're funny or pretty, retire.

Honestly, Christmas Eve, Mass. I was next to three little boys under eight years old. They were obsessed with me.

And I was like, wait a second. Well, that's why it's like, yeah, I'd rather the little kid like me than these adults that are projecting their own shit that they've experienced on their life towards me. I want the pure form of honesty. I corner a girl. I'm like, do you think I'm a good person? You before you wrote this.

That's why when Lois said I was a princess, I was like, she looks at me and she's like, she's magical.

When Lois looked at you, she literally was like, I'm watching a Disney movie, and she looked at your tights.

When she slowly touched my tights, I was like, if I don't have a daughter, I'll kill myself.

We know you're going to have the most dirty annoying son. I'm looking at my notes, and I farted at the coffee shop. I talked about that. I need some advice from you about organizing my clothes. I'm in a minimalist mode.

Hannah, I went through all my clothes yesterday. And not yesterday, I meant over the past couple of weeks, I want to throw everything out and start over. I actually hate everything I've ever worn before.

I don't know if it's where we are in our life. I think that's what it is. There's something where I'm like, I want everything on. I was going through my stuff, but it's this... People don't talk about there's this piece of clothing that you own, that you've worn before, you like it, but you normally would probably pick other stuff over it, but you can't get yourself to throw it away because it's been worn and you don't not like it. I think that is what my closet is full of. Of stuff that I've looked good in it before. If you said, Do you want to wear it tonight? I'd say no, but I can't get myself to throw it away. I don't know what to do.

I feel like my thing is it's such specific pieces that I'm like, I can't wear that.

But then you're like, I'd be so mad if something comes up and that was perfect for it.

Yes, that's what it is. Or I also I used to have this thing where if I wear something outrageous, I would be too nervous to wear it. I'd be like, no, people They're not going to get it. They're going to think it's ugly or whatever.

See, I love you in those.

My mom tricked me at a very young age where I snapped out of that. She would always say whenever I'd have that feeling, she would always say, If another girl walked in wearing it, how would you feel? And if the answer was, I'd feel so jealous, she'd be like, Then wear it.

Wait, that's such a good shopping thing to think if you saw someone else with it. But my problem is I have a lot of clothes that I like that if another person wore, I'd be like, That's sick. But then on me, it looks fucking bad.

That's not true. It's just all about how they style it.

You're right. Styling, I should.

I think your new style is going to be... I think you need more flowy pants that aren't jeans.

You guys say you hate my outfit today.

No, I don't hate your outfit.

I don't know what it is. I was going to wear white Capries today with a little white T-shirt. I was so page-coded, but then you could see my white sports bra through the white T-shirt, and I panicked.

Because you have such a long, beautiful torso, I think you should be more like, tighter tops and then flowy pants.

Like flowy, wide-legged.

Not like super wide-leg, though.

What material are we talking?

I don't know. Honestly, you know what? I'll have my mom make a duck. I'm lost.

I need Kim I'm trying to do a full PowerPoint, but no, you're right.

Your silhouette, you have such a good... You really do have such a good-We can work with it. Shape where I'm a board. I have to wear certain things that makes it look like I have a good butt, but it's not there. Where you have such a good shape, but you never accentuate it. It actually really annoys me that you never show your boobs.

You sound just like my mom. Also, I was going to wear Capri's and show off my boobs today, and this is what I ended up in. Great. I was so fucking close. Have you seen the US Skating Championships around?

I only saw one clip about how everyone's family died in a plane crash prior to. Remember that plane crash? What was that last year? But it was a bunch of figure skater families. So now it's what? It's all of them are competing. People that- I didn't know that. Yeah, because the one guy that's about to go to the Olympics, he was holding up a picture of his parents, and they had died in that flight. I think that was exactly a year ago.

Jesus Christ. Anyway, that's intense. Sorry. That's to kill the mood. But good context for sure. No, you watch these people's dreams come true as they're making the Olympics or not. But I can't stop thinking about heated rivalry and how in another world, these gay hockey players were just ice skaters.

Yeah.

Gay hockey players are just men who couldn't get themselves to ice skate. Meanwhile, if you're an skater and you're with the woman, all you're doing is holding her crotch and spinning her. It's like male cheerleaders. They're actually the ones who get the most- They're actually fingering them.

Just watch to bring it on. That's why the male cheerleaders join. Culture yourself.

Final culture moment that we talked about yesterday that I have to bring up is the rewriting of history of Jersey Shore. We have to apologize. No, it's so- Can we apologize?

I love Jersey Shore. There's nothing that shaped who I am as a person more than Jersey Shore.

And you recently met J-Wau.

And I've hung out with J-Wau. I've met family adjacent to her. I actually have a weird connection with J-Wau because she's from my hometown, and my brother knows her boyfriend's mom. It's like a whole... We're sisters. She brought her daughter the day we filmed our Amazon show.

Which is crazy because we remember before she even met that guy.

So being able to talk to her about reality TV is so interesting because we did it in completely different eras of reality TV. Different. And so different. They always talk about how producers were not that involved because they were so good at the casting, I would assume. But for whatever reason, where reality TV now, it's like producers can, well, they can ruin your life.

And they know what they need in an episode, so they just get it. We're Back then, they were like, what could happen?

But when I recently rewatched Jersey Shore, and I was like, I actually felt really sad at a moment because I was like, Wait, I was a senior in high school. I would watch this, and I would watch Roni just literally abuse the shit out of Sammie, and everyone would be like, Sammie's so annoying.

It was crazy.

Looking back now, I'm like, Wait a minute.

We need to do a formal apology to Sammie Sweetheart because she was enduring. Everyone's been through-If that aird now-he immediately-no, he'd immediately be obviously removed from the show. We literally were like, Sammie, You're no fun.

He threw her bed outside, and we were just like, Sam, again? Then you're crying again.

Sam, can you stop complaining? You're so annoying.

Then when she was like, I'm going to leave, and everyone was like, Don't leave. I was Guys, you were all just so mean to her. You were like, We hate you. When she's clearly in this awful relation. Let her go home.

We're just like, Ron, he's just having fun, and Sam is ruining it for him.

No, it really makes me upset.

Then she was like, Ron, don't make fun of my big toe. Don't make fun of her big toe.

It really made me upset every watching.

You can't throw her bed out of the apartment and come for her looks, which leaves me with our mental health moment. If a man makes you feel. That's it.

If a man... And move on with your life.

If a man makes you feel ugly at any moment, even if you are ugly in that moment, leave him.

That's really good.

It's so true. Remember those relationships where in theory it should be good, but you just didn't feel gorgeous around him, even though you knew you are? Yes.

I actually haven't felt that. I feel like since my early 20s.

Also know those guys who you know you look like shit, but when you're around them, he makes you feel like you're just a model off-duty.

That's just guys being insecure. Wait, before we go, did you see that one TikTok couple that I actually will insert their names? He's like a chef.

I was supposed to edit. I was just being like,.

He's a chef, and she always has funny videos, and it's in their family. They just built this gorgeous house. They've been a TikTok couple for years. They've been together since they were 14. She actually made a TikTok and was like, We are officially together more years than we've been apart. She found out he cheating on her, and she immediately left. And I just think that's such a good message. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. No, I was really devastated by their divorce. I was like, Wait. They were the only TikTok couple that I was ever like, Oh, they seem like normal because I felt like they didn't share that much personal stuff. All their videos were funny. Well, they couldn't.

He's in another woman's bed.

In another relationship.

He's like, hey, can't tell you what I did today.

But there was a lot of people being like, let this just be a message. The moment When you feel like that or you find something out, yeah, leave.

Which I'm a hypocrite. Yeah, it is really hard to leave. I stayed before. Samy stayed. We've all stayed.

Totally. And don't feel bad for staying.

You'll be fine is our mental health moment of the week. Enjoy your week, you guys. I know that we have a second episode coming out on Friday. And love you. Bye.