Transcript of We're Leaving LA w/ Jimmy O Yang

This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huel, your go-to for complete nutrition.

Try Huel with 15% off today using code BadFriends at my. Huel. Com/badfriends. Hey, Bad Friends. This week, I'm going to be in Philly and in New York. I'm playing the Met and the Beacon. I'm so very excited. I'm so humbled. I cannot believe I get to play two beautiful venues, New York and Philly. Come out and see me. Then I'm doing San Diego and Phoenix and San Francisco. We added a show. Then I'm going to be doing Boston, going over to Boston, my friends. Then I'm finishing this tour in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Come see me in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm doing four shows. That's where I'm shooting my special. I'm so very excited. Go to AndrewSantino. Com for those tickets. Andrewsantino. Com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots.

A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Dude, did you fall asleep last night? No, bro. Yeah, you did. No, I liked your No, you have today you liked it. No, I liked it. You're saying that I could have died? No, I liked it at four in the morning. I promise you. I could see the phone right now. Yeah, you could see it. Well, what can you see? That I did it at four in the morning. I know-Oh, God. I could have died last night.

You definitely couldn't have died.

He.

He could have died last night.

No, he could have killed me.

Well, he's sick right now, too. Are you sick? Yeah.

From the fires, dude. It's a smoke.

No, he's sick. You know he's sick. Those are meth-moth. Meth nose, meth nostrils. I've never done meth. Those are nostrils. Those are meth nostrils.

Bobby texted me at 3:00 in the morning saying doors were unlocked and to come in if the fire hits. That's sexy. No, it's not, dude.

That's not sexy?

It's not sexy, no. I thought that was sexy. No, I had everything set up. I had the cat crates, everything set up. I liked it an hour later. I could have died because I fell asleep knowing that you were my garden angel, and I could have died. Angels need to take naps. So last night, what happened?

You're saying garden angel? Garden angel, dude. Like he lives in the garden? That's right, dude. My little garden angel.

He's a garden angel, dude. He's a lawn numb, dude. He is, Kind of. Last night, when time did you get in? I kept texting you on the flight.

I'm texting you from the sky. I landed at 10:35.

My God.

Oh, wow. I saw the smoke the whole way. It was wild. Wow. I saw the fires the whole way.

Last night, I texted Carlos because I was so tired. I go, I'm going to fall asleep, but just in case, if it gets out of control, I'm going to leave my bedroom door open. Hot. Then wake me up. I have the bags packed. Yeah. Get the cats in the cradle. Cats in the cradle and the Silver Spoon.

La is on fire. It's Newsom's fault. Yeah.

It's that mayor we have? Where are you going to?

Hey, Los Angeles. This is Mayor Karen Bair.

Yeah, where are you going, baby? She's done, dude. She's done, dude, right?

Yeah. She's cooked. She's done, dude. Why? She stayed silent there interviewing her.

Dude, that was crazy. That was crazy. Yeah.

You The little bit of sweet British guy is like, Madam mayor, have you got anything to say to the people of Los Angeles?

You cut the fire department fund and all that stuff, and she kept it quiet. But last night, I fell asleep. I'm like, Okay, Carlos has me. This morning, he liked my thing, which means that he had still slept through it. So if my house is on fire, I'd be dead. You'd be dead.

But I was texting you the whole night. I texted you back and forth. In fact, I got a call from Kalaila.

How many calls did you get from Kalaila? Yesterday. Two.

Well, I got a call mid-flight, and I texted. I was like, I can't answer. I'm on a plane. By the way, why can't I answer I'm on a plane? Can't they just make it available for us to take a call on a plane? It'll interfere with the radio. No, it won't. There's no way that's going to-There's no way.

There's no way. There's a lot of things they should... Closing the windows when you're landing, what's that all about? Give me a break. I know why they do that. Why? So when it's on fire, you can't see it.

You can't see it?

So no one panics? Yes, you don't panic. Here's another one. Trade table. Why does It doesn't have to...

Be up?

Up or down or whatever.

It shouldn't matter. By the way, if the plane crashes, the trade table, I want it to cut me in half. I know. Let it sever me in half.

Well, no, it would hit your head because they want you to bend over.

Well, they want you to eat your own balls. It's such a weird... They tuck your head in your lap.

Another one. Here's another one that drives me crazy.

Give it to me.

I feel like we're doing hacky road stuff. One is that?

We're driving and flying. Was that Seinfeld?

Not good?

Well, you just did it.

That was my day.

What's the deal with What's the deal with flying?

Anyway, another one is, some of you poor folk might not know this one.

Okay.

I'm going to see if you can guess. You can have the waist But what else do they want in first class sometimes?

What are you talking about? Have the waist?

The waist seat belt. Yeah. There's another thing they tell you to do.

Sit up straight?

The shoulder one.

Oh, the strap one? Yeah, the double strap.

I'm already Why do I need this?

Why do I need the F?

We want this, too.

Because you fold in half. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, you'll fold in half. You know what? There's no logic to it. But I will say this. You can't tell me. We have people that live in space. We have someone that lives in the International Space Station. They live in space. You can't tell me the plane can't have a separate radio from me taking a phone call?

Dude, that's a good point, dude. What are you talking about? Write a letter, dude. Karen Bass.

Will you start to write a letter to Karen Bass?

Write a letter to Karen Bass, dude. Dear Karen Bass.

Why can't you figure this radio plane stuff out?

Okay, I have another one. Get The fucking seat belt sign's on, right? Yeah.

You have diarrhea. Every flight. Me, too. Literally every flight.

I get up, and the stewardess goes, what do you call them? Flight attendant goes. You have to sit All right? I go, But you're standing? Yeah. Cirque Soleil. Do you think you have better balance than me? Circusole? Cirque Soleil?

Cirque D Soleil, but yes. Whatever, right?

No. I bet you money. I want to say this as a steward.Cirque Soleil?Yeah, I want to see. Oley.

She does a flip.

Oley. I want to look her in the eyes and go, I bet you money, lady. Or sir.

Sir, whatever. Who knows?

If we were on one of those longs on the leg, I would win.

100%. Not even a-Don't pretend that you're Log champion.

You're not. You know that one?

That's a Log champion. Look at my form, dude. Look at my form. Now it's going backwards. Switch. You know how they go switch? They go forward and they go backwards. They go both ways.

What I'm saying is that no, If you're standing, I stand.

If you're stand, I stand. Don't you think? Stand up for your right to fight.

Do you have any other flight ones?

I'll tell you one right now because this is crazy. Okay. This applies to everybody. They entice you on these frequent flyers. They're like, Oh, you get miles. It means shit. It doesn't mean shit.

It doesn't mean diarrheia.

They lie. They fucking lie. Here's what happens. I'm in Terminal 5. I'm about to fly on Jet Blue because it shares it with American. I fly an American my whole career. We've been on the road-You know why? Because you're an American. God bless God God bless America, man. No, but look, I've been an American customer because my dad was when we traveled a lot. Now, I switched a lot back and forth, but I have over a million miles on American. Over a million, right? Check this out. I politely go I politely go to the lounge and I say to the woman, Hey, I know I'm not traveling American today. I'm traveling Jet Blue. It's the same terminal. They don't have a lounge, but I want to get something to eat because I haven't eaten. I'm running around, I haven't eaten. I go, Is it cool if I go in there? Because She goes, You have to fly American. I go, Can I show you my loyalty or whatever? She's like, No, I don't care. I have the card. I was like, No, I mean, just please. Can I just get a coffee and somebody to eat?

I haven't eaten all day. She's like, No, you have to be flying American. I said, I have over a million miles. What else do you want me to do? Dude, I give your company so much money every year. I'm not saying I'm entitled, but it's like, Dude, cut me a break. Can I get a coffee and a fucking donut? I fly with you guys a million fucking miles a year.

I don't want to fight with you.

Start it.

Yeah. Start it. I don't want to- No, start it. I don't want to start another fire. No, start it.

I don't want to start another fire. Start one in this room, and then we'll get an alert. By the way, we get an alert on our phone. Matt, Matt. Bobby goes, They're telling the whole city to evacuate. I was like, Read it.

I was mentioning common things that normal people go through, right? And you had to throw in your-Oh, the first class strap was a common thing, you fucking liar?

You fucking liar. This is what the fans don't know. You're a fucking liar. No, you're a liar. He started off by saying, The poor people, liar. I never said that. Yeah, you fucking did. Roll the tape. Oh, yeah, I did. Yeah, he did. Okay. Here's what he does. He plays this victim card, and the fans think like, Poor innocent Bobby. Dude, he's a brat. You guys don't know shit. You guys are so out of your element. By the way, everybody can get access to a lounge. That's not a privileged thing. If you travel with an airline enough, you can go to the lounge. It doesn't matter how many points you have, you can go. By the way, little boy, you didn't have any status until I signed you up for all of your frequent flyer because I said, I'm trying to help you out. Another thing you don't fucking take care of.

I didn't listen to a word you just said. Let me say something, okay? I know you did. Carla, you've been to the airport with him, right? Oh, yeah. What's up with him in the lounge? He's always like, Meet me in the lounge. What am I? I'm like, I don't want to go to the lounge.

I want to go get a snack. I want to eat food.

Thank you, George. We have money. We can go to Duncan Donuts. They have better snacks.

Why would I pay when I can just sit down and-They don't have chocolate donuts in the lounge. Well, you should stop getting It's kid mentality. He's a child.

Mcdonald's over cafeteria food.

Yeah, I'll take- What? He's saying it's-Go ahead, George. It's shitty food. It's airplane. No, louanges aren't cafeteria food. No, but I know what he's saying. It's comparative. My point is, I just want to have a cup of coffee and sit down and relax because you get to the gate and you're like, Well, there's nowhere to sit. So I'm going to stand here like a fucking dildo waiting for the flight, and then it's not worth it. I'd rather go to the lounge, get a cup of coffee, sit down, read some emails. That's why every time I invite... By the way, when we do go to the lounge together, you fucking liar, you love it. You're a fucking liar. When we were in Australia, we went in the louanges, you fucking loved it, didn't you? Liar. You're such a liar. The fact that the fans don't fucking know who you really are.What is wrong with you? It bums me out. It's crazy. No, I test osteoarthritis. Do you listen to yourself talk? I'm working out every day. My tea is way up right now, dude. I want to kiss you. Fucking fucking.

One last thing, and then we can move on from the thing. They should have, obviously at the gate, a members class line.

Oh, boy. This is relatable. This will be a relatable thing.

Then they should have... No, I'm not done. They should have the groups. You have Group B, C, whatever, the lettering of the number.

One, two. Whatever the numbers. It's always numbers. Go ahead.

Okay.

You wanted to start a fight, dude. You even said it.

Okay.

So what they should have a fight?

No, I'm not done yet, though. All right. Then they should have also a line that they don't have, right? I know it. For the Chinese.

I know. I knew you were going to say that. Because I'll tell you why.

They cut. No, that's really what? They don't know how it works.

Yes, they do.

I know they do, but they pretend that they don't.

I love them.

Their whole thing is, What going on right here?

I don't know. I love They cut. They cut. They cut. They cut. They go in the first-class. Dude, sometimes you'll see a Chinese couple, an old Chinese couple, and they'll go with the needs more time, like the disabled people. I've seen them walk with the veteran. I've seen them with the military. Yeah, with the veteran. You're not in the Marine. And he beefs his phone. He beefs He's like, America.

You know what I love, though? This is what I love.

I love that the Chinese people cut.

When they get to the ticket person, they go, How about to me?

How about to me?

And then they go, No, you're five. You're seven. You're at the end. Then they had to go, and I always make a face. I just go.

I love it. See, when they walk by me, I go, Nice try. It's a nice try. You got to let them swing. Okay, I'll give you one for the boarding bullshit. I'll give you one back. Here we go. It doesn't make any sense, and it never has, that we don't board back to front. Why wouldn't the back of the plane board first? It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. You're boarding the front and it's jamming up. Let people in the back go first.

Are you saying this? I used to put first class first and then go back? No. Because I'll tell you why that's not going to work. First class should go last. I'll tell you why not. Why? Because you're going to know this, okay?

You like to stare at the people as they walk by.

That's number one. I know you love that. I have my face. I know. I do this. I sit like I always have my hand out like this, right? When they lock guys, I go like this.

I go, I'll move on?

Yeah, move on. Don't look. All right?

If you get to the comfort plus section and the bags don't fit because there's no bag room, they light your bag on fire in front of you. That's a very good one. Right in front of you.

Here's what I don't like, okay? What? My shit's up there, right? Some guy's late.

He moves it.

Not just moves it. He does something different. He tries to fucking tetris it. He tries to tetris it, right? I get it. He He puts his stuff, jams yours, twisted. You have no idea what's in mine. I could have some biohazard material.

You sometimes do.

I sometimes do, right? So don't touch mine and tetris my shit.

Because you could set it off.

Yeah, I just don't touch my shit, man.

By the way, say that to him. Next time they're moving it, be like, That's going to trip the wire. I wouldn't do that, dude. It will go off.

Yeah, so those are my things.

Those are your rules. How about this one? Okay. I did a nice thing. I did a switch. Will you switch me seats? I did a nice thing. You got your Bluetooth? Yeah. I did a switch me thing. Can Can I have my husband and I can sit the thing? Yeah. Of course. No problem. I'll do it. I'll do it anytime someone asks. No big deal. Do you do? I do. When they... How about this? Would you do this?

If you were an aisle or a window? Sure. You had to be a middle to do it?

How long is the flight?

Six hours long.

Oh, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. Six hours. That's correct. Come on.

I'm the guy.

This is time dependent. Excuse me, sir. Yeah. How are you, man?

We got our tickets late, and so me and my wife, we don't have seats next to each other. But if you switch to my wife, she could sit next to me. Can you switch, please? She's got the middle.

I don't. Oh, yeah. I How?

Yeah, you're not from this country.

Excuse me. Yeah, I don't speak English right away. See, how would you handle it? Ready? Excuse me, sir. Sir, excuse me, sir. Hi. Hey, my wife and I book tickets late, and we're actually going to my mom's funeral. Do you think we could switch seats so I could sit next to my wife? Sir? You know what I do in that situation? What? I go right to the flight and I go, Hey, can you just move this guy? Because he won't know the difference.

No, no. But I did deaf and blind.

Right.

You weren't looking at me. I wasn't looking at you. You have to be mute. You got to go deaf and blind. Deaf and blind. Then if that doesn't work, you go a little bit of twisty in the brain.

You pulled a Helen Keller.

Yeah. You pulled a Keller. Yeah, so that's good.

Pull a Keller.

Would you pull a killer?

On a flight? Yeah. Now, but my favorite thing to do when someone's talking to you on a flight sitting next to you, I like to make up a life. If they've never seen me, they're like, What are you going to Charleston for? It's a fun opportunity to be like, I'm an engineer. I'm an aerospace engineer, and I'm going to a conference right now. We're actually developing a way to shoot down Chinese spaceships.Oh, wow.I'll just make shit.Oh, that's good. It's fun. Who fucking cares? That guy's like, Whoa.

Yeah, I pretend.

Then he goes and tells someone, and they start a Reddit thread. They do.

When they ask me, I've had older white dude will ask me, Hey, where's your family from? You already know what he wants to know. Oh, yeah. Which- Because if you tell him you're Korean, then he has a story. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear the story.

I went to Seoul one time.

Yeah, or his grandfather was in the war or something.

I used to exclusively date Asian women.

Yeah.

I knew who that is.

So I go-Fucking George. Yeah, that's him. So I just make up a place.

Where are you from?

Bongbong.

You're from Bong Bong? Yeah, yeah. How far is that from?

Bungwanees. Oh, Bungwanees? Yeah, Bung Island. Oh, it's an island? Yeah, and we're known for... If you want to know. I would love to. Yeah, we have a special corn that we crop.Oh, what color?Purple.Wow.Yeah. Then we're also the best at I make bustles.

That's you guys?

Yeah, we make bustles. We invented that. You did? Yeah. They're different than regular bustles.

I imagine. What's the sound that they make? Weep. So people have a laugh? Yeah. No one's going to come save the day. Weep, weep, weep.

That's it. So I make it up because I don't want to get into their fucking... They want to connect with you, so they try to find that thing.

I think it's cute sometimes. It's not cute. But sometimes I also just want to have fun. Because, by the way, when you tell them I'm a comedian or we do a podcast, they don't give a fuck. They're like, Oh, really? How come I've never seen your stuff? And you're like, Well, I don't want to. I hate it. You know what I mean? I hate it. They'll go, Oh, you're a comedian? Yeah. You're friends with Nate Bargatti? He's the most famous comedian in the world. If they don't know you... Show the video, by the way, Carlos, real fast. This is my agent's fucking house, who you know. You know my agent. Yeah. That's his home.

Oh, my God.

They sent that to you. He sent that. Nice place. Carlos, you're a fucking shit.

You're a fucking asshole. You're a piece of shit. It's just nice that I have a nicer place than your agent now.

Oh my God, dude. Dude. By the way, back it up just a little bit. Yeah. There, right There? Yeah. That's your place, that fireplace. That's the size of your place, right? Right around the fireplace? Yeah.

Wow. I texted Ryan Wilson today because his was just devastated.

Well, thank God my agent and his family and his wife got out because, I mean, dude, how terrible. This is awful, bro. Yeah. It's off.

I take to Sebastian. His is fine.

Oh, he is? Yeah. Whitney, I talked to her. She lives away out there.

Yeah, she's fine, though, right?

She's fine.

Yeah, she said she's awful. But you know, Kaleila's sister's house.

She said we have no home to go to.

Yeah, but her house is the only one that didn't burn down.

Seriously?

Yeah. They cried today because they bought their first house.

They're in the desert, right?

No, they're in Altadina. No, now they're in the desert. Now, they're in the desert. Yeah. They cried because they were the only house standing. What they don't know it's at four in the morning last night, I took Fiji water. You know what I mean? You did that? I did that, dude. Why Fiji? Because it's my favorite water, and also they're Filipino, so I thought it was close.

Right, it is near it. Yeah.

My point is that I saved their house last night.

Let's give it up for saving the house.

Anyway, it was-You're a hero. It was scary. Honestly, though, I don't know if... Because I would text your wife. I go, What are you doing? And she's like, I'm doing... We were communicating.

She was packing bags. She actually went to our friend's house because there was a fire right near our house. I got so scared because I thought, Oh, dude, I'm on a plane. I can't do shit. I just had a million texts coming in. My favorite text that I got was from Stan Hope. Stan Hope gave me like, I the funniest text. A lot of these, like Rachel Feinstein and stuff, like Sam Marelle, a lot of New York people, a lot of great. They texted you? Adriana Palucci, yeah.

They didn't text me. I'm going to have a problem all right now.

They don't know where you live. Yeah, they do. Look at this.

Draft DraftKings. Playoffs? Playoffs? We're talking about playoffs?

We're talking about playoffs.

You bet we are, Andrew. Get in on the action at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL.

Scoring touch downs is the key to winning the playoffs, and you can score big by betting them on DraftKings, the number one place to bet touch downs.

Ready to place your bet?

I'd like to place a bet against you.

Try betting on something simple, like a player to score six.

Who's going to score six?

Everybody. A lot of people. Go to DraftKings Sportsbook app and make your pick.

New DraftKings customers can bet $5 to get $200 in bonus bets instantly.

Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code Bad Friends. That's code Bad Friends for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets instantly when you just bet five bucks.

Only on DraftKings Sportsbook, the Crown is yours. You got a gambling problem? Call 1-800 Gambler. In New York, call 8778 Hope, NY or text Hope, NY. That's 467-369. Connecticut help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg. Org. Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas. 21 plus age and eligibility varies by Fixion Voiden, Ontario. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng. Co/audio.

Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns makes it easy to start automatically saving and investing so your money has a a chance to grow for you, your kids, and your retirement.

You don't need to be an expert, Bob. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that fits you and your money goals. You don't got to be rich, right? Acorns lets you invest with the spare change you got right now. You can start with just $5 or even spare change in your pocket.

For me, I've been starting to invest in Acorns.

You have started to invest.

I like this building a future. You can do it easy. Easy does it. Easy does it. But you know what? It gives me a little bit of security because I trust Acorns.

Why? Because your cats are going to need that money when you're-They loveBut- And you have to have something to believe to them.

And they love Acorn, too.

If you're looking to invest, you can start here. Everyone thinks you need a ton of money. You don't. You just need whatever you've got. Start now for your future.

Head to acorns. Com/badfunds or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Investor Today.

Paid non-client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorn's tier three compensation provided. Investing involves risk. Acorns advisors, LLC, and SEC-registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns. Com/badfunds.

True Classic.

Premium clothes at an affordable price.

You have a true classic on shirt underneath there, Ryan.

I'm wearing one right underneath this, a sweatad.

Well, guess what? Build a perfect outfit in five minutes or less. Everything goes great together.

Everything does. The best-selling T-shirts, hoodies, jeans, and more come in three, six, and nine packs. The more you bundle, the more you save. These are comfortable, durable, and I like good old-fashioned basics. I like these basics that you can mix and match with everything. Long sleeve Henlies, fleece hoodies, jeans, button-ups, joggers, so much more.

They got everything. I have winner must haves, my friend. Yes, you Long sleeve Henelies. Yeah, you got your- Fleece hoodies, dude. Jeans, bottom-ups, joggers, and more, man.

The joggers are great. You're a big jogger boy. You can mix and match all of them. There's free shipping on all the orders. 100% perfect fit guarantee with very easy returns.

Trusted by over 4 million customers and 200,000.

200,000 plus five-star reviews. Tru Classic has everything for everyone. You got to check them out.

Start the new year off with clothes that actually fit right. Just go to my exclusive link at truclassic. Com/badfrencest Dave.

That's trueclassic. Com/badfriends. Shop now and elevate your wardrobe today. Stan Hope wrote, Hey, just making sure Sam Morel has checked in to make sure you're okay. I wrote, You're the man. I go, He has, but we all think it's disingenuous. Yeah, Mateo, a bunch of... You know what's so funny? Okay. The New York Comedy scene, man, these people are so... They all checked in. Rachel Feinstein just hit me just now.

Never got one from her. I got one from Virsi.

Adrian Ippalucci.

Paul Verzi.

That's nice.

I got one from-Matteo. God. Howie Mendel. Oh, that's nice. I got one from...

Yeah, a lot of my New York I have friends. Dylan and I were talking, too, because I wanted what Tim was up to. Dan Soter, the dog.

Did you get one from Rosebud?

Yeah, of course. Rosie and I were talking. I got one, yeah. And Andy.

Sigurra?

Yeah. Talk to Tom.

Roni Chang? Huh? Roni Chang.

No, thank you. I got a Roni No, thank you. Yeah, that was no thing. I actually blocked him, I think.

Thank God for Only Chang. Yeah, I didn't get a lot.

No, it's not that I got a-Yeah, it's just nice-Who else?

Sam Morel. I'm going to text him right now.

No, don't do that. Why? Because he's not allowed to have his phone at this hour.

I'm going to go Sam Morel.

Can you imagine? Yeah. Dude, my favorite text, though, I got was from a Chicago friend because I'm going to Chicago in the morning. My buddy in Chicago. Hey, man, are you okay? Yeah, we're okay, man. Thank you. Cool. Can I get a Is it for tomorrow's show? No. Yeah, you got it.

Where are you going tomorrow?

I'm going to Chicago. Wow. Playing in Chicago Theater.

Oh, this weekend?

Saturday, yeah. Wow. Big, big, big moment.

Big moment, dude. Sold out, I heard.

It's sold out. It's a It's a crazy thing for me, man. It's like going home, it does something to me. I can't explain how much I appreciate it.

It's incredible.

What are you talking about? No, it just shocked my soul that people will come out like that. It's just nuts. It's awesome. I'm genuinely so like, Jesus Christ. It's crazy. Well, you deserve it. When I was a kid, no, I'm saying when I was a kid, dude, we We went to go see... My grandmother wanted to go see Fantom of the Opera, and she was like, We're going to go. We're going to Chicago Theater. It was a big deal. I had to fucking dress up. Oh, wow. But now we go there, we tell-What is that about? Penis jokes.

What is the Fantom of the Opera about? I know. I've seen the posters. That's what it's about. Christine.

What is Fantom of the Opera? It's a dark, twisted tale of a... You would love it, dude. It's right up your alley.

Oh, yeah. I love dark and twisted. Tell me what's it about. It's a physical reject who falls in love with this woman.

He tries to look that he's got to cover up his face because his face is all fucked up. He's in love with this woman, but she's with another man, and he's trying to get her back into his good graces.

What happened to his face?

Acid.

No.

Acid. He went over to Saudi Arabia, made a couple of... He was pro-gay rights. That's what it's about? Yeah. No, that's why they I cast it because he had a black girlfriend. They did not like that in Saudi.

Is there's really a black woman in it? Or they just cast?

What do you mean they cast? What? Do you mean was there originally black cast members?

I just see that photo right now, and there's a black woman. I don't care if there is.

Sounds like you do.

No, it's curious. Is it set in the south?

Yeah.

Is that racist?

It's set in Alabama.

Okay, so it's- Christine, you better come back to my cave.

Look, look this up. I think it's the longest running musical in... I think it's the longest running musical in American history. Maybe it's not. What's number one? Fantom. It is. Wow. Thirteen,000 performances. It beat Chicago after it got revised.

I saw Lion King. That was fun.

What about Wicked? Do you see Wicked in the theaters?

Do you see it?

Cold Space. Do you see the movie? Come on, bro. I have zero interest in that.

Yeah, I downloaded it. I just can't get myself to watch it.

Why would I watch that? You know what I did watch that I loved? Squid Games. Oh, my God. You love it? I love it.

It's so good.

I'm being real. I thought it was going to be bad because I was like, The first was so good. This series is going to be bad.

You see it? It's so good.

You didn't watch it? It's so good. It's so good. Wait, but time out. We'll get back to Squid Games because...

Okay, what do you want?

What's going on? I watched, and I know I think it's from last year or the year before, but I was catching up on How to with John Wilson on HBO. That guy's so brilliant, and I mean it. He's so... What? You don't like it?

Remember you tried to term me? I saw a couple of us? I didn't like it.

Buddy, it's so good. It's such brilliant comedy, man. He's so fucking funny. I don't know what it is. Why don't you lie? You don't get his shit? I don't get it. Here's what it is. It's an alternative, subversive look at the world of New York through this artist's lens. You're such an artsy guy. I can't believe you don't like it. Yeah, go back to squid. Okay, Squid Game. Squid games. Yeah. I'm genuinely, I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart. Once again, the fucking Asian community makes another banger.

Korean.

Okay, more specific. I said Asian. But here's my problem. Why can't American fucking shows do a second run and it's just as good as the first? Why? Why can't we do that? We fuck up all the time.

You mean like, do a better second season?

Yes, we don't do.

We almost- Well, I mean, severances should be good when it comes out.

I I don't know. I mean, the first was so good. Well, who the fuck knows? Who knows? Yeah.

100% season 2.

Got 100% Rotten Tomatis?

On Severance? Yes. You saw it already? It's out already? No, there is a post.

Season 1 was great.

I love that.

But I'm just saying it's like American shows, they struggle a lot with coming back with another thing. Yeah. This show, I think is... I'm not done. I think it's going to be just as good as the first.

Well, the third one, you know who's in it? You? No.

How are you not in it?

I don't speak Korean.

Yeah, you fucking do.

No, I don't. I'll be able to say, Where's the bathroom? And pussy. I mean, those are the only words I know.

The only thing I've heard. Bibimbap, food. I've heard you say that to your mom. Where's the bathroom, pussy? Yeah. How do you say that as one sentence? Say Where's the Bathroom?

Bionso Orisa Bogy.

Bionso Orisa Bogy? Yeah. Bionse Orisa Bogy? I'm going to say that. By the way, I'm going to South Korea. You got to come with me. Okay. Do you want to go for real?

Yeah, let's go.

No, I'm dead serious. Yeah, I just said yes. But can we go?

I want to go. Why are you going?

I'm going for that golf thing that I'm doing now. I'm doing a golf show. I just got back from what?

I can't go to the course with you, but I'll just go. Please.

I'm not going to the course. All right, let me tell you something. I know you don't care. I'm just going to inflate your ego. I went to go meet a bunch of people and say hi and introduce myself because it's like the beginning.

In Miami?

Yeah. Dude. Who's that? The amount of guys. Who? No, the amount of guys that were like- What celebrity was that? Yo. Nobody. It was pro golfers. You don't know them. But the amount of guys that were like, Yo, I love you and Bobby. Where's Bobby? I was like, Dude, it'd be rad to bring you. Now that I know that you will go to South Korea, you have to come. I'm going to go.

The Squid Game, can I just do a real quick review?

Give me your review.

What's surprising about it is I was fearful about redundancy. In your mind, you're like, Okay, where can they go with this because they got to showcase the games again. But in terms of the angle and the different characters are in it, I really like the trans character in it. Yeah, she had honor. Yeah, she had honor, dude. You know what? They do have honor in life.

All of them? All of them?

The ones that I know have honor.

How many do you know? How many trans people do you know for real? Bereal? Yeah.

Two? And they both have honor.

They're so honorable. They're not honorless? They're not honorless. None of them lack honor.

No. Yeah. They know who they are. They know who they are, and they know what they're doing.

Is that what honor is?

Let's talk about A Complete Unkown, too.

Such a phenomenal film.

It's phenomenal, but what I like about it is there was a sigh of relief once I heard Timothée Chalamay talk and sing. When he's next to Woody in the hospital, and he sings a song for Woody. There's a part in the song where there's a little bit of a hold of a note in the song. You know what I mean? Yeah. He was just so committed, and he sounds so much like Bob, and I began to cry because I'm like, I think he got it right.

You cried in the theater? Oh, yeah. Wow.

Asked Jean. Jean Hong would keep looking at me, and I literally weeped. What's so funny? Were you crying to look cool in front of Jean a little bit? Yeah. Because you knew he kept looking at you?

You think you crying in the theater to Bob Dylan would bring back?Magnum PI?Magnum PI. Do another season, Jean.

Yeah, no. All right. No. Because him and I had walked a lot of movies before. Yeah, this one you were. But this one, we always do a little Korean glance at each other. What? A little wink. Yeah, to see if we're going to leave. Oh. You know what I mean? I looked at him and had tears in my eyes, and he was very pleased. Yeah, he's proud. I used to work with this girl, Monica Barbaro. She was-She's so good. Yeah, she's John Bayes. She's so good.

It's unbelievable. It was so hot.

The movie is-Carlos. Carlos, come on. She is. She's very pretty.

Carlos's commentary is always-It's so bad. You know what it is? Yeah, it's degrading. It's Howard Stern in '96. We say any girl, he's like, Great taste.

I know. It's so funny.

She's gorgeous.

But the The movie was just great. I thought-So good. Another one was gladier, too. You see it?

I haven't seen it. Now, do you do the relax seats? Did you do the… You know the seats that go down?

No, we didn't relax. I did the unrelaxing one.

See, I like to go to the... What is it called?

It's just like the lounge again. We're going to bring it back to the lounge.

The best gaslighter I've ever met in my entire life. No, I mean, honestly, it's impressive. It's impressive how much of a fucking gaslighter gaslighter you are. It's disgusting. Anybody can go to that theater. I like to be in the recliner seats because of my back.

This is what gaslighting is, okay?

You have no fucking idea.

Okay, if there's a light on- You think it's Cirque de O'Lay, you fucking- If there's a light on and I tell a woman, I go, There's no light that's on, and I try to convince her that the light's on. Go get some gas. Yeah. What I'm saying to you is that- You bring the gas. You bring up louanges and comfortable seats all the time. How is that gas lighting?

What? Your argument's so fucking bad. It's unbelievable. It's shocking how many holes are in your bullshit. What are you talking about? I'd like to go to the theater to lounge. Everyone likes the fucking recliner seats. It's the best seats. They're by far the best.

I don't do those.

What are you talking about? Because it's not close to your house? What theater do you go to?

The Grove.

You go to the fucking Grove?

What are you so angry about? Yes, I go to the fucking Grove, dude.

You go to the Grove? Yeah. I know why you go to the Grove. Same. I know exactly why he goes.

Oh, here we go. Let's start now. It's Bobby Lee.

Hey, man, what's up? Smoking a cigarette. Fuck you. Here we go, dude. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you, dude.

That's not why, dude. Yes, it is. That's not why, dude.

Carlos and George are nodding.

That's not why, dude.

Where do I go then?

Where's a little relaxing seat?

Do you know how many theaters there are in the fucking valley that you can go to? You know where they fucking are, you liar. They're all over Burbank. Burbank has three movie theaters a mile of one another. They're so close to your house.

What I love about going to the movie theater- Smoking outside.

That's not why.

Is that Bobby Lee? That's not why, dude. You love it, Scott. You love it, too. Anyone going to a movie theater, I want to let you know. I went to go see with my mom, Nosteroff, too.

Did you like it?

I have my opinions about it. All right.

But- The empiric.

You saw it?

No. Okay.

What I love about going to the theater with my mom is she's so weird, no one approaches me. I love your mom. My mom was laying down. Beautiful. You know when you wait in line to get popcorn? Just off to the side, she had just laid down because her back hurt.Let her be comfortable.I know. Me and my brother are just squatting next to her like, Come on, get up.How about this? Mom, get up. She said, No, my back, my back. No one approaches us because they think it's either a family crisis. Family crisis or an emergency of some sort, but they don't approach.

If her back hurts, why don't you take her to the recliner seat theater?

I'm not an elitist like you.

It's so funny. Elitist. It's open to the public. It's literally just a movie theater.

Anyway, so you're back good at the theater?

I had epidurals. It feels so much better now. I had an epidural put in my back. I'm going to have another one. I got to have another one put in my fucking head.

Did you see North Raft, too? Yeah, I loved it. You did?

Yeah, it was awesome. I watched a disturbing movie in my last movie of the Flight last night. What was it called? It's called A Simple Man. The Simple Man or A Simple Man. It's old. It's an old movie. Coen Brothers?

A Simple Plan.

No, Simple Man, I thought.

Yeah.simple Man. Simple Man is a coen... Yeah, that's right. Stephen Parks in that.

Yeah, it was really fucking tough.

It's hard to watch?

It just makes you fucking sad.

Is it like falling down?

A serious man. I apologize. A serious man, yeah. I'm serious, man. I'm sorry. It's really hard to watch. It hurts your heart.

It's about a man who... What's going on here with him?

Well, it starts with a Jewish parable at the beginning, and then it goes into this man's life in the '60s, I believe, '50s or '60s. Everyone shits on this guy. He's a professor at a university. He gets literally no respect. Then his wife is leaving him for their fucking neighbor who's a buddy who comes over and he's like, We're thinking about you moving out of the House of Me movie. He's taking it all on the fucking chin.

What is Stephen Park playing at? He's Korean.

He's dark. I think he's the student, one of the students. Okay. It's just a dark... Look, it's beautifully done. But, man, it was hard to watch. He was the dad. He's the dad of the student. That's right.

That's Steven.

Wow. It was just one of those movies where you're like... But does he snap? Look at that. He's hugging his wife's lover.

Does he snap?

You can watch the movie. I bet you could figure it out.

It's like falling down.

I thought that movie was-Falling down. Dark, very dark. Very dark. But this is dark in a way that's like it's shot in such bright, beautiful colors. I mean, bright, beautiful for the time period that it looks happy, but it feels fucking atrocious. He's trying to get tenure, and nobody wants him to get tenure. Life is hard, huh? It's a guy that, you're Why is he doesn't jump.

I thought falling down was the best representation of Los Angeles I've ever seen.

Better than swingers?

Because swingers to me- Yeah, because there was a scene where he It's like going on off-ramp on the 101 or whatever. It's so trafficky and just- He runs on a golf course. The tone of it, it just looks like LA to me.

It feels like LA to me. You can just track where he's walking in LA.

Exactly.

You know exactly where are those places. What about... What's wrong with me? Pacino. Yeah, what about Heat?

That, too.

Yeah. Heat is so Los Angeles. In fact, in Heat, sometimes when I rewatch that movie, I see the underpasses they're shooting at, and I'm like, I know. I used to drive under there all the One Ten in the- Yeah, it's such a great- You see Santa Monica and Western, that LA, where it's like, you can't really see that in movies.

It looks like Mexico.

It looks like when you go down to Mexico It looks very like, what is it called? Barrios. Barrios, yeah. Barrios, I don't even know what I'm saying.

You get a mixture of a lot of- That LA is dead. Hispanic, and then you also get a mixture of tourists that made the wrong turn.

Chinese tourists.

Yeah. Oh, really? That thing?

Yeah. Hey, bro, you're in the wrong fucker hood. Can I take your picture? Yeah. Pose, dog. That LA is dead, by the way.

That LA is dead, you mean?

The LA as we know it is dead. Why? This is a red alert, red alert. After the pandemic and the fires and the strike, fucking LA, we got to go. I hate to say it to you, buddy, but it's happening. No, it's happening 100%. We're leaving. Where are we going? I don't give a fuck. But we're leaving. We're leaving. We got to go, dude. What are we doing anymore?

Because us, me and you and Tim Dylan were talking about we have to stay. I know.

We said the exact opposite on the show. That's the best part of our podcast.

We have to be the last outstanding.

We should stay. I don't want to. Gavin Newsom and fucking Karen Bass and all the bullshit of this fucking city, and it's never going to get rebuilt right, and they can't get Hollywood to stay. What are we doing? They fucked us up. By the way, I listened to Adam Carola this morning talking about... Because this guy He's grew up in Los Angeles. He's lived here his whole life. He was talking about how good luck rebuilding Malibu. These people are going to have to fucking try to get permits. Good luck. Why? Good fucking love. Because it's going to be a billion people trying to get permits from the city of LA, and this city is insane with building permits. It's crazy. There's a million rules and restrictions. There's so much regulation in Los Angeles. It's going to take them forever.

But what if I had a house that burned down? I have to get a building permit to rebuild my house? Of course you do.

And you have to get a million different kinds of them. Wow. Wow. And never mind that, talk about all the insurance companies that fucked over all those people. They're never going to rebuild. Even if they do, it's going to take three years before the Palisades even exists anymore. Wow. The whole city is fucked.

Yeah. What are they going to do, these stars and stuff?

It's not just stars, dude.

I mean, regular people, too.

Altadina.

Cut that out. No, no. No, no. Leave it in. Fuck you. Cut that out. No, no. No, no. No, no. Please. It came out wrong.

It came out wrong.

And that's why it has to stay in.

No, all people. Altadina.

Keep it in. He will. Don't keep it in. No, he keep it in. I'm scared. It's fun.

Stop, please. Shut up.

Yeah, you shut up, dude.

Let them know who you are. No, I don't know who I am. Yeah.

I'm good guy. Altadina. Altadina is like a regular working-class neighborhood. I'm sure there's some nice house there, but it fucked up a lot of people, man. That was the misinformation of the news. People were like, This is just superstars. You're like, Dude, it's fucking 30,000 acres. Exactly. So many people. What do you mean? It's probably, Look at the total acreage that's been burnt in Los Angeles County. By the way, we're doing this podcast while it's happening. More than Manhattan.

It's bigger than Manhattan is burnt.

Wow. We're doing this while it's on fire still right now. People at home. Just the Palisades is over. It's bigger than that. 17,000 just the Palisades.

Also, can they do this What happened? I called you two hours ago, right? Wow.

Yeah.

They did a evacuation alert on everyone's phone. Two hours. Did you get that? On accident, yeah. On accident, though. Don't do that. Don't do that. Who's the guy like, Watch this, John? Beep. You know what I mean? Then the fucking... Who's in charge of that?

One idiot sitting in a room being like, Oh, shit.

That scared the shit out of me.

But imagine if you and I had that, we'd be like, Do it.Oh.

My God.Don't do it. You get fired.

Yeah, right away. You know how many fucking, what are they called? Amber Alerts? I just let out. But I would do Amber alert for one of our friend's cars. Do you know what I mean? Someone's car that we know at the Comedy Store.

Yeah. Ship station. You guys, we all have an online business Do you have one? I mean, we do. We use Ship station because we only use the best. Life in general can be chaotic, but if you're in charge of order fulfillment for an e-commerce business, you know that's its own special chaos. But with Ship station, you can count on your day-to-day remaining calm. Save hours and money every month by shipping from all your stores with one login. Just one, guys, automating repetitive tasks and fighting the best rates among all the global carriers, You can focus on other parts of your business because you never have to worry about shipping and fulfillment again with Ship station, guys. You never need to upgrade. Ship station grows with your business no matter how big it gets. Lead your business into the future with smart features and automations that boost efficiency and save you time. It's the fastest and most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 88% off UPS, DHL Express, and USPS rates up to 90% off FedEx rates. Calm the chaos of order fulfillment with the shipping software that delivers. Switch to Ship station today.

Go to shipstation. Com and use code Bad Friends to sign up for your free trial. That'sipstation. Com. Bad friends. Shopify. It's the new year. It is. It's 2025. God bless. You're probably thinking, How am I going to make this year different? I don't know. Am I going to build something for myself? I'd like to. I'm dying to be my own boss or see if I can turn this business idea I've been kicking around in my head into a reality, but I don't know how to make it happen.

Shopify, Bob. Shopify is how you're going to make it happen. Is that how it happened? Let me tell you how. That's what we did. Shopify is the best. They make it very simple to create your brand, open a business, get your first sale, get your store up and running easily with thousands of customizable templates, no coding or design skills required. All you need to do is drag and drop.

Shopify makes it also easy to manage your growing business. They help with the details like shipping, taxes, and payments from one single dashboard allowing you to focus on the important stuff, like growing your business.

What happens if you don't act now? Will you regret it? It's a disaster. It's a disaster. Someone's going to beat you to the idea. So don't do this to yourself. Don't kick yourself when you hear this again in the air because you didn't do anything. You must start working with Shopify now. Established in 2025 has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify. Com/badfunds, all lowercase.

Go to Shopify. Com/badfunds to start selling with Shopify today That's Shopify.

Com/badfriends. Zocdoc. Can I call you guy? Call me guy. Sometimes when I go to a restaurant, I'll read reviews. You know what I mean? I do some research. You do. But I do that for my health. That's why I'm on ZocDoc. That's right. Am I too busy? These are excuses.

You know why? Because ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.

We're talking about booking in-network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty, Andrew, from To dental health. Look at me right now, to dental health. I know. Okay. Primary care to urgent care. Look at me right now.

And more. And way more. Look, I got a bad little back, and I got taken care of thanks to ZocDoc. You're able to find a doctor very quickly. You can filter for doctors who take your insurance, their located nearby. If they're a good fit for any medical need you have, they're highly rated by verified patients. You can see it yourself. You see what other people said to let you know how good they were.

Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc. Com/bathlet. Com Bad Friends to find an instantly book a top rated doctor today.

That's zocdoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C. Com/badfriends. Zocdoc.

Com/badfriends.

We have a special guest. Is he here? I thought you said he's here.

Who's coming?

It's a surprise. Now I want to know. It's a surprise. It's a fun surprise. It's a surprise for you?

No, it's in the room. How do you know? Why do I have to be surprised?

Why can't you be surprised? Well, if you did any organization for this show whatsoever, then you could-Yeah, but I don't want to surprise.

If you're not going to get a surprise-No, you're CCed on all the emails, Bob.

You literally are CCed on everything.

Okay, I'm going to look at it now then. God.

Which email?

I'm CCed in it. It's Amazon. It says Dermacon. What's Dermacon?

Is that a pimple?

It's for my nails. I have High Street Beast.

What's High Street Beast?

Clothing.

Sick.

Oh, shit. Wow. Yeah, sit down.

What a prince.

What a prince. Prince. Look at the prince here, dude.

Blesses us.

Yeah. What happened to your glasses?

It's gone. Why? Korean doctor helped me out. Oh, really? Yeah, man. Yeah. Dr. Paul Lee, shout out. Yeah.

Shout out Paul Lee.

You want to wear the cans or do you need them?

I don't think I need them. I can wear you guys just fine. Are you guys playing clips and stuff?

No. No. This isn't your mom's house.

As you got successful, your skin cleared up.

Really? Did I have bad skin? No.

You almost have perfect skin now.

That is so weird.

You look happier. Maybe that's what it is.

No, there's something about your fucking skin, dude. Really?

I swear I can see the flaws now.

Really? Yeah.

I thought I used to have perfect skin, and now I'm stressed.

What are you stressed about?

Just stuff, life. Why? You're killing it.

You got a baby? No, no baby. Well, then what are you stressed about? You're married. No, I'm not married. You're not married. You don't have a baby. What do you give a shit?

This is how good Jimmy is doing. This is how good Jimmy is doing. I want to be honest with you. Your ex-girlfriends are girls I couldn't even get, I don't think.

No, come on, Bobby.

I shouldn't girls. No, that's the fucking truth. Let's talk truth and let's talk gospel.

Let's talk gospel and truth, babe.Thank you.

What I'm saying to you is that the girls, I've seen your ex-girlfriends.

Do it like the gospel. Do it in gospel tone.

Give me an example.

I've seen your ex-girlfriend. Oh, yeah.

I've seen. Here we go. I've seen your ex-white girlfriend, and they come from the depths of the earth within each other. The Prince of Korea has come with his clear skin and his eyes are purple white.

I appreciate this.

This makes me feel good about myself, Bobby. I wasn't expecting this coming in. You're killing it. No, I appreciate it. But I see your presence whenever Bobby steps into a room. There's a presence.

I have no presence there.

He sits down on a couch and people just line him and gather around him. There's an aura.

There's an aura. Brother?

That's not true because the last party I saw you at, who was the aura?

You.

You were the aura. No, man.

No, I'll tell you why. No, man. I'll tell you why.

You're the aura, my young man. I'll tell you why. All right? It's because we went to Aqafina's New Year's party. That's true. Preach. Right? I came late.

He came late.

I came late with a woman.

He was like the headliner coming in. No.

I'm not going to do the voice. We walk in. Who's on the dance floor?

Was it me dancing?

You were dancing like a little butterfly. I was trying. Like a little cream butterfly, dude. You were the flame. We were the moths.

No, that's not how I saw it.

Jimmy, just let me finish. Keep complimenting. Jimmy, let me start. I remember me, Jean, Dom, we all went to you. You didn't come to us. We came to you on the dance floor. We took a photo with you on the dance floor, which means you're the light and we are the moth.

Yeah, that sounds like it.

That's interesting. That's how you saw it, because how I saw it was you arrived. Then you were... There's a beautiful woman next to you, and she was very doting. Every time I'll talk to you or I'll talk to her, she was like, I got to go. Bobby's right there. I got to take care of him. You were like the king.

She's my concubine.

Yeah, there you go. Boom.

That's it. Were there any Whites at the party? Other than the one-There's some Whites.

He's always with the Whites. What is up with you and the Whites? As of late.

He loves the Whites.

As of late.

He loves the Whites.

No, I'm into authenticity. I dated black girls, Asian girls, white girls. I think my ex-girlfriend was very white, so I think people just assume that. But also, I don't know, growing up in Hong Kong when everyone was Asian, white people was exotic to me. How white guys here obsess over Asian girls because it's exotic.

Certain kinds of white guys. A weird old white guy. Yeah, creepy white guy. Like George. Yeah. Take one look at that guy. Tell me his wife is Asian. For sure. A hundred %. He likes Asian chips. Yeah, 100%. For sure. It's a white guy that's obsessed with it. Now, I find Asian women beautiful, but there's a certain white guy that obsesses over Asian women.

Yeah.

He does?

Oh, my God. No, but okay, I'm going to ask you a question. There you go.

Mark Zuckerberg.

Yeah, she plays the violin. She's a violinist, I think.

It's always fucking weirdo white guys, dude.

It's always white girls on Raya that I match with. You know what that always says? What? In common with Jimmy O'Yang. No, No, come on, man.

It says it right there. I see it. Come on. Damn, dude.

Do you know her?

I do not know her. Come closer.

You do know her. He does.

I do know her.

Yeah.

Let me see.

What? Let me see this girl. Ex-girlfriend?

No, no, no, no. Okay.

How do I see her photos?

I'll show you.

That's hilarious.

Did you touch it?

Wait, Bobby, did you talk to her?

Well, I forgot to read the Jimmy Young part. I did say I.

This is how you know she loves Asian guys. Bruce Lee is one of her profile photos.

I know.

Bruce Lee is one of her profile photos.

That's a good tale.

That's like you in.

And Jackie Chan. I know.

I understand that.

I'm not exaggerating.

I swear to God it is. But this is what I find… Because I want to say this.

One time, I saw you- Jimmy O'Yang. Damn, you look good, dude.

Me? Yeah. Wow.

Hot guy.

Let me look. Fucking hot, dude. Hot, dude. One time you were at the improv, this was years ago, and you had a girlfriend, right? . She dressed in an Asian thing. She was a white girl. No shit. Really? Yeah. Then she also had… Her purse had pearls in it, but it looked like the green JD. You know what I mean? It looked like an Asian bag. For real? Yeah. I'm wondering with this girl, I think you're the influence. Once they meet you, they become more Asian. Then now, it opens them up to in the market.

You know what? Let's put that out there. She was already predisposed to Asian, dude.

Jimmy is the once you go black.

Jimmy is the once you go yellow, you bang Bobby Lee also.

Once you go yellow, you find yourself another Asian fellow. I think that's what it is. That's it. You're the opening. Because I felt that, too, where I've gated a white girl, and then you go to their house and you go, Oh, yeah, they're prone to us.

Yes, they're aware.

There's a poster of Mulan or something. Naruto, anime. Then there's a lot of bamboo and bonsai trees.

Those are Chinese stress balls. Yeah, those stress balls.

George has those as dinner table.

100%.

It's a different time, though. I feel like now we have so much representation, with Squid Games, BTS, everything.

Too much.

Who isn't into Asians. I wish I grew up like I wanted high school, middle school now. I think it'll be a different game.

Jimmy, some of them are not. You Maybe you've seen them, to have you not?

I think so. They just won't.

They won't do it.

What are you talking about?

Some white girls, they just won't cross that line.

Some girls in general are just not interested. I'm just saying it's like you're making a test.

I just don't like That's what you said it. That's true. Why did you say it like that?

Some women aren't interested, period. It has nothing to do with you being Asian. They're just not interested.

They're not interested in my type.

Your type is not because you're Asian.

Your type is specific.

Wait, Wait, my type.

Are you fucking telling me?

What? That you and I are on two completely different categories? Yes. Yeah, so tell me what the category I'm in.

I don't know. Andrew, as Carlos, somebody, third-person point of view. Here's what I would say.

Yeah. Jimmy is... I understand. He's a starter on Arsenal, and You're in the locker room and you're there and you're cheering on the boys and you're on the team, but you're not on a midfield. By the way, this is-Is that what you're saying, Jimmy?

He's a superstar.

That's not what I was saying. He's a superstar. That's not what I was saying.

The kid's a fucking superstar. No, come on, guys. We know he is.

100% he is.

He is.

You guys are doing better than me.

What are you guys talking about?

That's not true. You own your own studio, you own podcast, you have staff. You have staff of white people.

Well, first of all, he's actually half Mexican. We got points for him.

Carlos, I heard about you, man. One of my best friend, PJ, a big fan of the podcast, says you like glory holes. He loved.

That's the glory Holes king, baby.

It's getting around, right? Yeah.

I'm glad it's getting around. Yeah. You know what? Honestly, let's squash this now. Your appeal for women is just different than yours. You get plenty of beautiful women. They're just different kinds of women. I get it.

I've accepted it. I'm not fighting against Because I've seen beautiful women with you. But what I'm saying is that I have to say that he's still in a different category.

Yeah, but Carlos and I. We're doing- Yeah, I think it's different.

But when we get cast in, we're in the same category.

That's my problem. No one's casting you guys in the same. You guys are no fucking... What casting is that?

I was up for the Joe Koy part. Did you do that part?

Well, I produced that movie.

Easter Sunday.

It's his fucking movie.

Which part? The one Asif Ali ended up playing?

What?

The one Asif Ali ended up playing? What? The one Asif Ali ended up The bad guy part. The bad guy?

No, there was a part that he said he had written for me that I got off, and I said I couldn't do it because I was doing Borderlands.

I think there was a part. I don't know. It wasn't my part. Because my part, I couldn't do another part. So I was like, I'll come in for a day.

But I've also been in other situations where Jimmy O'Yang got the part, and I didn't get it.

But that's just because it's- But it was for the same part was I'm saying that he beats me out.

They just want to see how- If we're in the same category, when it comes to- I think that's a very broad...

It's It's Hollywood's issue that at times we're in the same category. Because if Santino and who will be, I don't know, another white guy, that will be totally different.

Me and Anthony Jesselnick aren't going to go off for the same fucking role.

Yeah, exactly. You and Pat and Oswell could go off for different roles, but you guys are very different people. Or you and Ryan Goslin could go off for different roles. I'm not saying you're... I'm just saying. Yeah. No, you're right. They're all very different people. Sometimes it's just people are dumb. The category could also just be Asian funny guys or whatever. It's different. You okay, Bobby?

He's a little shocked. He's a little stunned. He got a little hit. He got a hit.

I'm good. I'll agree with you. Well, also-No, no, stop, stop.

Well, you're also different in age. I mean, Jimmy is 37 years old.

Also, Korean and Chinese, very different.

Well, that part I don't know about.

I understand that. I understand that. I know we're different.

Yeah, he's Chinese.

You're right. Do you know what I mean? I take that back. Thank you. I'm older.

Also, be nice to the Chinese.

I love the Chinese. Just be nice.

What? I love that stuff. Just be nice. Okay. Because he gets on his little high horse and he doesn't...

Oh, you think that I... What's the high horse?

He starts spouting hatred about China. He'll do it. He'll just crack one open and start flying off the handle.

You guys don't know how to wait in line. See?

How to what? Wait in line. We talked about it earlier. You guys don't even know how to wait in line.

In mainland China somewhere. Everywhere.

Oh, no, here.

Everywhere. Baskin Robbins. It doesn't matter where it is.

Chinese be skipping lines, dude. Oh, for real? Chinese be skipping lines.

You guys are the ones that we go, Oh, my God, there they go again.

I can't support that stereotype. Maybe in certain parts of China.

They'd be skipping. Chinese people skipping lines. Do skipping in line.

Look at all those people skipping in line.

They're all skipping somebody.

Or what are your quambs about Chinese?

Do you have any? My kwams? Yeah. Is that a Chinese word? What's quambs?

Is that a real Yeah, quams is good.

My issues.

What are your issues about Chinese? Do you have any?

What's my kwam with Chinese? People?

Anything about it, the culture. Let's start with the food.

Okay, how about this? I can't do that. Chinese food is really good. It's good. I like it a lot. I really like Chinese food.

Yeah, but what's this Chinese stuff? And Sechuan. You know what I mean? Pick one thing.

Sechuan. Love Sechuan. What do you mean? Hotter, the better. I think Chinese is hard to... Chinese food is hard because I really love that. Yeah. But when it's bad, it's bad. How about this one? The language we've talked about, the language is harsh. It's sharp.

It stains. Well, which one? There's also a lot.

Well, Mandarin.

Okay, what's the one that you are?

I can speak a few, but...

That's fucking arrogant.

I'm not saying that. No, because I grew up in Hong Kong, but my parents speak Shangháiese.

Okay, so if I'm in Hong Kong, let me-Cantonese will be in Hong Kong. So, Cantonese. Say something in Cantonese, I'm going to see if it's harsh. How about this?

Say, Hey, you guys, save me a seat when you get to the restaurant in that world.

. Listen, in Korean, save me a seat when you get there.

In Korean, save me a seat.

I don't know how to say that.

Make it up, fuckhead.

Very nice.

I'm going to say it.

No, he's saying it very softly. That's bullshit. That's bullshit.

He's like, I have never heard that tone on Twitch games.

That's how they talk. That's how we talk. He. It's quick if they're on the run for their life. They have to be yelling, Give me the Korean. Let's hear it. That's Korean. Here we go..

Pretty similar. Yeah, that's a superior.

Do they have Cantones? They might not have Cantones. But they might.

But put Mandarin.

They just put Mandarin. Yeah, let's Oh, there you go.

It's Cantones. Let's hear it. That's new.

They don't have it.

God bless.

Because they don't have enough... Because they can't get a voiceover guy that has a harsh... Do Mandarin. Go Mandarin. No.

Just do Chinese tradition. Let's go Chinese.M-A-N. M-a-n.

Simplified. There you go. Traditional and simplified.

There you go..

You know what?

They had to put it with a woman's voice just to make it sound. Exactly.

Why is that? What is that?

Yeah. It's just an aggressive thing. What's up with Taiji? Is that a martial arts or is it a meditative thing that you're doing? It's a little bit of both. I've never seen anyone fight anyone with taiji.

I don't think you fight with taiji.Have you? It's an exercise.

How is this I'm martial arts, dude? There's no way to do it.

See, that's the opposite aggressive. That is true. There's no Asians more aggressive than Koreans, I think. I don't care how long. Koreans will kick your ass.

Yes, they will.

For good or for bad. Don't ever forget I don't ever- All right, dude, relax. I don't fuck with you, Bobby.

Yeah, don't fuck with me, okay?

What about Japanese, though? Japanese got some wild motherfuckers.

I don't know a lot. There's not a lot of authentic Japanese people in LA, I feel like. I like Japan.

I like to experience- What does that say about that they don't want to live in LA. That's interesting because there's a lot of Korean and a lot of Chinese here, but not a lot of Japanese. Why not?

I don't know.

You think it's a superiority thing? Because he always says they have a superiority complex.

I never said that. Yeah, you do. You said that like they're- That's insane.

What do you mean? We have that on tape. You said they think they're the best. You said that all the time. They are the best. Okay, what the fuck? What are we saying then? I just said what you said. You said they have a superiority complex. They think they're complex. They think that was a legitimate accident.

But don't you think that they're perceived as the best or What do you think, Jimmy?

I think it's because they project that.

I think they run their country very well. There's good food. There's a good sense of respect there. There's a high-speed railway.

That's a very good one.

Logically, they're doing pretty good. I'm a big fan of Japan. Big fan of Japan. By the way, I'm going to Hong Kong for the first time.

Are you touring there?

No, I'm doing a new show that I'm doing. So I'm going to go there for a couple of days.

Is that when you're going to go to Korea? That same time?

We're going to go to Korea right after.

Okay. What show is this? Like a travel show?

No, there's Alternative Golf League, and I started a little show that I'm doing with them where I'm talking like a walk and talk with players, and we just goof around and get a glimpse of their life. That's the dream. I do. It's a big dream for him. For me, it actually genuinely is. Do you play golf?

I can't. Me either. Why? I don't have the patience. Me either. I'm too angry. Two Chinese. Yeah, two Chinese.

Two Chinese.

Two Korean, two Chinese.

Do you think you could beat me in ping-pong?

Probably.

That's you guys's golf. Well, ping-pong is Asian golf.

Ping-pong is a weird thing because, first of all, people assume I'm good at ping-pong, and I used to be really good because I trained when I was a child in Hong Kong. But now it's really shameful because I haven't played in so long. People assume I'm good, and I'm actually not good. I can look good playing it.

But you just said that you could beat me even though you're not going to go fuck yourself.

No, if I- I can beat you. Yeah, okay.

By the way, he crossed his leg so eloquently as he said, Yeah, I probably could beat you.

This is a very uncomfortable chair. What do you guys want me to do? Because I was leaned I don't want your audience to be like, Oh, he seems uncomfortable.

Bert Kreisler sat in that chair.

That's right, got it.

Jack Black sat on that chair. A lot of famous people- A lot of famous people sat on that chair.

Machine Gun Kelly sat on that chair.

The pink one, right? Yeah, pink one.

Oh, sorry about that. Stay in the blue one then. Yeah, that one's That's the blue one. How's your show, by the way? Everyone seems to absolutely love your show.

In Terry Cheney. Yeah. Yeah, man. It was awesome. I think from what I hear, they haven't shared the numbers with us, but from what I hear, people are really liking it.

It's really different. Chloe on that?

Chloe Bennett, Roni Chan is on it.

Our good friend Lisa Gilroy, who we love so very much. She's great.

She is amazing, right?

Number one, dude. Chloe Bennett, look at that. Roni Chan. We love us from Roni Chan. That's Alan. Is that Allen?

No, that's Charles Yu. I couldn't see. Zoom in. He wrote the book and he's the showrunner, and that's Taika.

Taika is great. T-t.

That's awesome.

That's great. Good for you, dude. Good for you. This is amazing. It's huge.

It's on Hulu, right?

Yes, it's on Hulu. Amazing.

We love Hulu. We love kids over here. We love Hulu. We got specials coming out on Hulu. Oh, really? Both of you? Yeah.

Oh, maybe I should do one. Wait, Bobby, I thought the first piece of advice Bobby told me when I was coming up, he was like, Don't ever do a standup special. Save your material, and then you can tour with the same material in colleges for 20 years.

Thirty.

Yeah.30. Yo, that was sound advice. He's like, Why would you want to do a special? And then now you have to write in the whole new hour.We literally just talked about it.I took that to heart, man.

You did what? You didn't go by my fucking suggestion.

You've done You've done a few.

I swear, when I said, Okay, I'll do one and I'll quit. And I said, I'll do my second one for this amount of money and I'll quit. Then it's just too fun, man. This is what we do.

There's so much fun.

Bobby, this is your How many specials have you done? None. This is your first one. This is huge. Yes.

Yeah, it's a big deal. This is huge.

When is it coming out?

We don't know yet. Wait, when we do it? He filmed it at the end of this year. I can't believe that I gave you that suggestion?

It's sound advice.

Yeah, but you didn't go with advice. Only 10 years later.

Him going against your advice worked out pretty well for him.

I think we did it when you were in... I remember the day. It was when I was living in the apartment on Beachwood.

When I did Tiger Belly.

Yeah, that's when I gave you the advice. I remember now yet.

The Beachwood days. Where are you living now? You're still in Los Angeles, aren't you? Yeah. Is your house okay?

Yeah. Were you scared last night?

I was. I went to K-Town. They didn't evacuate my place. But I'm like, Dude, let me just go to the hotel in K-Town, grab all my stuff.

What are you going to do, man?

Are you going to stay in LA?

You know what I like? I like Vancouver. I've shot a couple of things in Vancouver. It's really nice. Great Chinese food.

It's so expensive. It's so expensive, though.

But I mean, it's expensive anywhere.

No, you're not in fucking Idaho.

Right.

Montana.

Right. But see, these are places great for you.

You know what, Jimmy? Very good. Thank you.

People think it's good for you. And back in the day, everyone's like, Why? This whole country was great for people like me. And then we let you guys in.

Because everyone's like, Why don't you move to Texas? Why don't you move to Nashville? I'm like, That's not great for me.

It's okay for you.

No, it's fine.

You kill in Texas.

I like it. Just like I like it here, I can assimilate, I can make all kinds of... All my friends of different ethnicities. But Vancouver, I just felt like home. I felt like Hong Kong. It's very Chinese. It's like Asian The majority. I felt there's a weird familiarity and safeness, and the food just makes sense to me there. Canada is great, man.

Here's the thing about Whites, anywhere else. It's not that they have hatred. It's that they don't see people like us often. When I was in Butte, Montana shooting that movie, I was at an AA meeting, and some guy was pouring coffee in people's glasses. The guy came up to me and goes, Hey, man, sorry we don't have any green tea.

That's a very accommodating way.

It's actually pretty polite. I drink coffee, too, man.

You know what I mean? We know, but what happens when you do drink coffee? Why don't you guys turn back?

You guys are all the time, man.

I don't want you kung fuing. Don't be kung fuing.

It's somebody that isn't around us that often, and then they just want to be nice. That's right. But it comes out a little racist, but I don't mind that. It's just people are just trying to acclimate themselves to us.

It's not malicious. I don't feel bad after that happens, but I feel like, could I really be friends with this man?

Maybe. Maybe.

It will be hard. It will be an uphill battle.

Well, we're leaving. We're moving. We're not moving. Bob and I are moving.

Where are you guys going?

We figured, how can we get the most central in the United States? It's Missouri. We're going to Missouri. It's the most central state in the United States. So we're going to Missouri.

I'll go to Las Vegas. That's it. Let's go. You'll move to Las Vegas.

100%, let's go.

Yeah, tax-free.

Dude, fuck this place. Let's get the fire. Let's go to Vegas.

I think it'd be better, huh?

Let's do it.

How about this? I'll do this.

Keep our houses here. No, fuck this place. Let's get out.

I love my house.

Keep your house. Are you guys safe? The house good?

Yeah, we're good.

He's lucky. The fire was right near him.

Yeah, we're very lucky.

You guys are in the hills. It's It's different for you guys are threatened all the time. Us in the flats, we're not threatened as much.

This is new. If I call my Asian sister's sister's, when I'm asking you is, what's the problem, Paul Frivor?

Well, I'll tell you, that is a Black cultural nickname for Black women, sisters. You don't do that. You guys don't do that.

Can I say brothers then?

Absolutely not. Well, you can say in Korean, isn't it, Hyung? Yeah, Hyung. We can say something like, and Kaka, Meimei, in Mandarin. Maybe we got to bring that back.

No.

Oh, you can't even-We can't even... We can't even reference our AsianFriends.

Female friends.

Female friends. Is anything remotely sister or anything like that? No.

Let me tell you something, pal. You want to do that in Vancouver? You can. But here in my country-Yeah. No, I think it's a black cultural thing that when I hear somebody non-black go like my sisters or brothers, I'm always like, No, don't do that. That's a black thing, dude. That's theirs. You're going to take more stuff from black people?

But no. But like, Hogan is like, Brother. You know?

There's a white people. Tell me about all from Hogan, brother.

Yeah, brother. It's because he does it with such... Well, he's also said the N word a few times on tape.

I see.

They have him. They caught him.

Right.

No, you know what it is? I can't have Asians do it again. That's what I'm saying. Can't have him do it again. You guys did it with Black Lives Matter. You overtook them. You did Stop Asian Hate. You remember.

That's two different incidents.

Don't even start it. Two different incidents. Black Lives Matter was humming along. They were moved. That The train was chugging along, and then here comes Stop Asian hate. Stopped it right in its tracks. You remember, and everyone forgot about it.

All right. Jimmy and I, when we go back to the meeting-Yeah, when you go back. We have our meeting once a month. You know what I mean? Steven, you, everyone goes. We have some of our... Can I call them sisters now? But like, Aqafina, one of our sisters, we're going to change the lingo. That's the lingo now, At the meeting, we'll come up with a new one. At the meeting, we'll come up with a new one.

But right now- Give it an Asian word. We give it a word. What was the thing you said in Mandarin?

Meime is like little sister. Perfect. Say meime. And then caca is older brother. There's different words.

Yeah, your meime is in your caca.

That sounded cool, actually.

That's Chinese.

Yeah, well, then be Chinese, bud. You're going to be.

You know what, dude? I'll be Chinese. Because I don't want to steal any more words.

Or you can be Hyung.

Hyung. Okay, good. You are Hyung. But now what you're saying, Jimmy, is we have to memorize every fucking Japanese, what fucking brother and sister means. I'm not going to do all that.

You're not hanging out with Japanese people. We already talked about this.

Or Vietnamese. What's a Vietnamese person?

You're not hanging out with them either. I am. No, you're not. For you, it's Korean, Chinese, Filipino. Those are the three.

God, I don't know what you're doing right now, but I don't like it.

It's working.

I don't like it.

Let's go backwards. Let's go backwards. Obviously, you can call them sisters. I'm fucking joking. Jesus Christ, what show are we on? But the South Asian hate thing was funny.

That was good.

It's fucking funny, dude. Yeah. Well, let me say this. Jimmy O'Yang is the best. Probably one of the greatest comedian friends, actors, performers, souls in the comedy business. We love you so very much.

You're so nice.

I think you're one of the greatest out there. Known you for a long time. Funny dude. Great dude. You seem to not really miss a stride. You're pretty good. You're pretty good, man.

And you guys, man. I tell Bobby this every time, bro. I fucking look up to this guy.

Don't.

Ever since I was young. My dad was about to buy a ticket to the improv on a night that I wasn't going to be there, but you were there. He was like, I'm going to go watch my hero, Bobby Lee.

I'm going to meet your dad.

Well, are you coming to the show at the forum?

Yeah, I am. Yes, please. When is that?

You're playing the forum? Yeah.

He asked me to do a little set.

February 28th. I would invite. I love you, but I'm trying to make it like an Asian thing for my brothers.

I don't.

I'm sorry.

For your Mungs and your pickpops?

Are there other Asians you asked to be on it? Who else is on it?

I don't want to give away the whole lineup. But I'll tell you later.

Let's promote some of the things, Jimmy. So, Jimmy, you have the TV show on Hulu?

Interior Chinatown on Hulu.

The Forum you're playing?

Yeah, the Forum, LA, February 28th. February 28th.

Yeah, I might be doing it.

Yeah, Bobby might be a surprise.

Number three, what else? Your Instagram handle? What is it?

It's Jimmy O'Yang. Jimmy O'Yang? Yeah.

Please support our brother here. He's one of the I've always loved him.

He's one of the greatest. So go see him. If you're in LA, come see him at the Forum, February 28th, jimmyoyang. Com.

Jimmyoyang. Com. Jimmycomedy. Com. I own many websites. I own plentyoffishsaus. Com. I own CelebD bakesize. Com. They all just redirect to my site. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome.

So Chinese of you. Yeah. So advantageous. We're going to buy all the website.

It's brilliant. Do you ever get my one last question, if I may. Please.wrap it up. Have you ever had a white girl see your penis and be surprised how big it is?

Thank you for being a bad friend..