Transcript of Bobby's Hopecore Era

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You 2 are bad friends.

Who are these 2 idiots?

White dude

and an

Asian dude.

You 2 are disgusting.

Oh, you

2 are something. We're bad friends.

You look like Real Madrid's towel boy. Like, what's the shirt you're wearing? It wasn't a good joke. That's why.

So good.

No. It wasn't good.

No. It was really good.

Did that laugh. Did I get you do if I'm not being funny

Do that. Today?

Yeah. Everyone do that laugh.

Alright.

And I will do the same.

Alright. Thank you.

You do 1.

Do your fake laugh.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. That hurts the most.

Yeah. The velocity and the energy behind that is so So Pete's hurtful.

Pete's Pete's wife cooked us some cookies. I love

to eat it. Oh, that

was me. I You said

your wife.

No. No. That was me. I baked them.

Oh, I don't want this

No. No. No. They're good. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I am.

No. No. No. No. Well, in the middle what is it?

Go Go ahead.

The Hershey's kiss. Oh.

No. Thank you. Can you put this I don't like the smell.

Do you

want this?

Yeah. You want 1?

Yeah. Yeah. Good catch.

What are those called?

What are these called? Peanut butter blossoms.

You want 1, sweetheart?

I have nicotine in my mouth.

God bless you. God bless you. God bless, dude. I'm gonna have a little little taste Yeah.

Yeah.

Of Pete's.

I haven't eaten 24 hours.

Why? Because I

took the last bit of my Ozempic.

Wow, Pete.

But I I went This is bad. Oh my god. Can tell. They look bad. Yeah.

They look bad, and they smell bad.

And I'm gonna finish it because I need to poop today. I haven't pooped because I know this will make it happen.

And if you're gonna finish it, it's really good. Mhmm. Yeah? Very good.

Yeah. I'll take a bite. No. Eat a whole 1.

I cracked a tooth. I'll okay. Thank you.

Yeah. I caught us eating.

Yeah. It's the holidays.

Oh, nice.

Mhmm. Peanut butter.

Yeah. Nice. Yeah.

Really good stuff, babe. It's really good. Are you a baker? Is that your side hobby?

I I cook. I bake. Yeah.

Yep. You watch, the great British bake off? Oh, I sure do. Every season. Really?

Who won this season?

I didn't watch this season.

By the way, the most shocking win.

We could talk about it.

I didn't have her on my top to win. I had bring up the cast, the young good looking kid who is beautiful.

But did you see what happened to him at the Beautiful. Episode?

Yeah. What? What do you

mean? They they showed, like

He fucked up.

No. At the after that, they show, like, what they're up to now.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's working at a Michelin restaurant.

It's beautiful.

He's fine. You

know Paul Hollywood called somebody.

100%.

Yeah.

Yeah. He got 4 handshakes.

Yeah. He was amazing. So

Okay. Out of our show, out of you and I Okay. You're Paul Hollywood, and I'm prue.

No, dude. That's not true.

I'm Paul Hollywood?

No. I'm that black lady that does the jokes. That with the bright British pipe show. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

You're her?

No. Really? You think I'm Paul Hollywood?

I guess you're right. I am Paul Hollywood.

You're Hollywood for sure. You're Hollywood. Boom. But,

I give the shakes. Yeah. No. You are Pru because you look like her. Bring up Pru.

This is actually what Bobby looks like. This is genuine that's Bobby. That's you. Look up no. Yeah.

The 3rd photo is That's not you?

That's not me.

That little eccentric woman is not you. That's a funny

I I guess maybe.

If you were an old white woman, that

would be you. If if yeah. If I was an old white woman, that would be that. Yes.

That's what the we're doing. Yeah. That's what the this is.

K? So, anyway, so but at here's the thing about the he didn't have a good day.

Who didn't oh, yeah. He didn't know he he didn't do He

didn't have a good day.

Bring his name up again. I forget his name. The the cast he's my favorite, though.

He's He's so good.

Really handsome guy. Yeah. Dylan's a man.

Guy is a great banker.

And you know who likes him a lot? Who? Rudy. She's nodding already, pervert. Yeah.

Yeah. Zoom in on that guy. He's he's gorgeous. This guy

Not a great photo.

No. No. Just give me some other photo.

Yeah. Yeah. Not not not that photo.

He honestly he's such a good he's such a good baker.

He's so good.

And he's so humble.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. He's very good looking.

He's cute. He's cute.

And he's strong.

He's in great shape. Weird.

I that's why I like him.

He's a little eccentric.

I like him like that.

Yeah.

How do you want him to be? Look at that photo. Oh my Put the kid in a movie.

Yeah. When Paul Hollywood does handshakes to him, he waits too long to shake it back.

Yeah. I think he's nervous.

So Paul Paul Hollywood would like Yeah. And then he this guy goes He's he's I know about my point is, you shake it right away. You shake

it right away.

When Andrew shakes your hand, you shake it right away.

Shake it right away. You know better.

Good forearms for baking.

Kid's got great ham.

Yeah.

Look at that.

And he's got good flavor.

Great flavor. Thing.

His thing is flavor.

Unique flavors.

Unique flavors.

Alright. The bet We're bored. We're bored. No.

We're okay. Anyway no. I don't think we are. I don't think we are.

Well, it's for you and me.

It doesn't matter. Alright. I think the people at home wanna know what we've watched.

Look at that. His mom is Indian, and his father is Japanese Belgian.

Wow.

And they showed a video of the family, the most wholesome fucking family on Earth. These people are wonderful.

Let me see the family. I never saw it.

Do the family. They showed a video of him with his family.

I'll show you. I know wholesome.

But that girl is the 1 that won,

by the way. Go on. But she had a good day, and that's all.

Yeah. But she wasn't my home run. He was my home run all season.

Okay. Could you do you know what a hope core is?

Is it a thing online? No hope core. Well,

I don't like it when I'll tell you what when I when, Jules, when you do, you act as if I'm not from this planet. Because I don't have the same kind of social media you have.

It's just I see you, and I see an old

An old what?

An old man. Yeah. And hope core is my

Oh, really?

Well, then

why don't you explain it to

us also? Explain to us hope core.

Side note. Do you see an old man when you see me? No. Fuck yeah.

Different.

What do you see when you see me?

Like, early thirties.

I'll take it. See what is she doing? She couldn't even look in you in your eye.

What are you

She looked me right back. To look up

and down. This, and I'm gonna speak on her behalf. Mhmm. This is what she wanted to say. Mhmm.

It's weird. You're, like, much younger than Bobby, but you guys look the same age.

Right. That's

what her eyes said.

That's what her eyes said?

No. You guys look, like, very different. Thank you.

So I look way older than him.

I mean,

you just look like an old Asian.

Asian. Yeah.

Asians Asians age in a different way. Whites get uglier. You just get

old age. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Look at look.

Look. Look. Look. Oh.

Yeah. Why? Now that's a good looking old Asian. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

You could never.

Yeah.

Are you is your hair gonna get white like that? Yeah. Oh, that's cool.

And he's like he's like thinking of lotus flowers and grasshoppers. When you get old, an Asian man will only what what do they think about?

Taking long walks.

Long walks. Put your putting their hands behind their back. It has to be attached.

Has

to. Because watch. When a Korean man unattaches it, he stops walking.

They'll fall over.

They'll fall over. They'll fall over. It's all about weight. So Yeah. Right?

They think about what?

Long walks, grasshoppers

Grasshoppers.

Right?

Lotus flowers.

Lotus flowers.

A bamboo arrangement.

They love bamboo arrangements. Bonsai tree.

Bonsai tree. Clipping.

Clipping. Have an old Asian man walk by a bonsai. They're they're they'll be clipping.

They're they be clipping.

That's why they have clippers in their fucking pockets. All old Asian men. Just in case. Right? If I wanna buy a bonsai tree, dude, dude, you'll see me clipping all the time.

He'll be clipping. He'll be clipping. I'll be clipping, dude.

This is more of your stock right there.

This is me. This is me walking down. You're right. This is me walking down.

You You

can't resist.

I can't resist it, dude.

What else

do you want? See, dude, a lotus flower, dude. Or if I see a grasshopper, I do this. They jump right on my finger.

They have to. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Isn't that like the

And then we philosophize.

Yeah. Right. Yeah.

We always philosophize. Another thing that all Korean men think of is

Mountains. The Shit. They love setting up in the mountains.

You know about mountains? I'm Korean. Know about us and mountains? Korea. My god.

And tea. They love Love love tea, dude. It's gotta be some herb you've never heard of.

And you know what else they love?

Oh, fuck. Here we go. Here we go.

They love a good babbling brook, running water.

Yeah.

They love just a little, like, little bubbles of right? A babbling brook to an Asian guy is

And the last thing they think about, I'll tell you, is and this is a deep cut. Mhmm. But this is so true. Mhmm. $2 fucky fuckies.

$2 fucky fucky, dude. Because, you know, if

we're all criminal, inflation isn't a thing.

It's not. Yeah. And it should

We're gonna pay what we pay in the 19 fifties, but it's inflation. I don't care. $2.

Don't care.

That's all

I got.

You know why why the American government created the $2 bill? What? For $2 fucking

fuck. And people don't realize that. Yeah. They created it, right, during the Vietnam War.

They did.

Yeah. And, it they're so hard to cash in because they're rare. They're very rare. It's a trick almost. So this process goes, Right?

And they frame them. They always frame them. They do.

They do. Actually have a lot of them if you want some.

Well, how

did you get so many?

Kirk Fox.

Oh.

He's Oh. 0, that makes sense.

King of $2 fuck you.

Of $2

fuck you.

Them in the lot. Yeah. I'll give them to you. You can use them. I I just sent them in my

my Alright.

We'll give them to you. You

know this?

What's his name does that? He prints his own $2 bills. What's the guy that's Who

does this?

1 of the Microsoft guys.

What's 1

of the Microsoft guys' $2

Bombers? Steve Balmer?

Is that just type in Microsoft $2 bill. No. No. What's the eccentric guy, Woj?

Who are you talking about, guy?

What no. Maybe it's the Apple guy. What's the guy? What Steve Wozniak. Woah.

Did he print his own? Look at this. Steve Wozniak prints his own $2 bills. Go back to Google search.

There he is.

Go down.

Yeah.

Yeah. There you go. Steve Wozniak's probated.

Well, that's good. Let's move on. Anyway, wow. Write that down, guys. Steve wasn't an actor.

Just 2 dog

now. Let's go.

Wow. You you could do we we do do something else. Hopecore. Let's go back to Hopecore. Can you explain to people what Hopecore is?

We'll just cut that out, Andrew. Sometimes even the king misses. Anyway

So happy.

Tell us about Hope Corps. God, dude. Jesus Christ. All I do on this God. All I do is set us up for material and

go, go ahead.

Unreal. Unreal today.

I wish we had a buzzer.

Okay.

But, anyway, so explain to us what hope or what

is it?

On TikTok, it's always within a soft, like, peaceful audio, and then the video is, like, mountains or, like, beautiful scenery, and there's always, like, quotes about, like That

that's not that's not it.

What is it then? And the quotes are always, like, like, hopeful, and that's hope core.

Yeah. That's not it. But, anyway,

What is it then?

It's a it's a lot of it's a montage of videos that make you feel, like, hopeful. And so but but they include some of that.

Mhmm.

But they mostly include, like, soldiers coming home or, you know what I mean? Or a dog yearning

Yeah.

Or or friends reuniting and stuff like that. Right? So but here's the thing. When I watch Hope Corvida are you doing this board thing now? Are you mad about are you mad about the Steve Wozniak $2 bill

thing? Listening.

No. There's something going on in your face. I can see you processing Steve Wozniak. Let's how about this? Let's pause Hopecore.

Let's go back to the $2 bill. So tell us about Steve Wozniak.

I'm listening.

Go ahead. Tell us about I'm so curious now. I don't wanna hurt your feelings. What happened? So Steve Wozniak

You killed him pussy last night?

No. No. No.

You had

a good mood because you got a little pussy? No. No.

No. So Steve Wozniak

off Ozempic.

Yeah. So Steve Wozniak.

Go back on it.

So Steve Wozniak, he prints his own $2 bills.

Does he really?

I know you're the 1 that told us.

I had no idea.

Okay.

How did you know about this?

Because you told us this 5 minutes ago.

I did? Yeah. I've never heard of this before in my life.

You're doing is very interesting. I've never seen you do this style of

comedy Wait. No. What?

Of complete denial.

I don't know what you're talking

about. Yeah. Yeah. It's a reversal. Go back to Steve Wozniak, please.

Why are you obsessed with Steve Wozniak?

Okay. Okay. So let's go back to Hope Corps.

Yeah. That's so strange. We're talking about Hope Corps.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Very odd to bring that up.

Well, what are you doing right now, dude?

Such a

This is an interesting Weird. Thing. What you're too right now? It's very weird, and so kinda pissing me off. Off.

Is it really? Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. What's going on?

Well, I'll tell

you why. Because you you, put a halt to some of the things I say sometimes. Do I? Yeah. And when I do it to you, right, you have a nervous breakdown in your mind.

Do I?

Yeah. You did watch. Your face. Well, got all pale. And when we're talking, you were like this.

Like like yeah. Yeah. You were talking to yourself.

What was I saying?

Like, I thought that that oh, of course.

That was gonna be a good idea. You know, we

got but by the way, Bobby did that was long. I'm going forward. I just you know? This is fucking weird.

Is this your internal monolog or mine?

Your I was reading

It sounds like it's yours.

Reason your what see this thing you're doing? I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Let's get the resentment out.

So because I don't wanna continue the show without Oh.

See, this thing I I

I've never seen my

I'm in good Have you ever seen

him do this?

Good spirit.

Have you ever seen him chair do a fucking Fentanyl

nod? It's the new chair.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like this Fentanyl nervous shake today.

I get a new chair, and I'm feeling good.

Okay. Good. So, so, anyway, the $2 bill trying

to rock?

Can't rock? The chair. Yeah. I got I'm trying to Steve Wozniak.

You know

what I mean? He create built a machine and $2 fucking bills. You know? So, anyway,

Dude, watching you not know how not be able to rock in that chair is so funny. Yeah. Don't get jealous because daddy be rocking.

Yeah? Look. You Oh, you you could thrust better than me?

Dude, dude,

I can thrust you, dude.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Dude, okay. Anyway

That's enough.

So I've been watching whole core videos.

Honestly, you and I have sent them to each other before. I do actually love

them. Yeah. But the thing is is that They make me cry. At the end of the day, at after every video, I think to myself, I would not react like that. Like, for instance, friends that I haven't seen 25 years or 30 years, they they cry.

They hug. Dude, if you and I were separated for 15 years, and then all of a sudden we re

I would cry. I would absolutely cry. A 100%. 15 years? That's so long.

I would cry too.

No. You fine. I

would no.

You would. I think I would cry too. It's fine if you wouldn't. I just definitely would.

It would depend of why I was gone for 15 years. Like, if I was in an internment camp you know what I mean? I think that there's a lot of, like, emotions that would come up like, oh my god. I'm seeing people for the first time. I haven't eaten either.

Well, why did you go in the first place? What did you do?

Yeah. Where are you born? I lied. I was Japanese. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. You wanted That happens. Just wanted free

rent for a while. Yeah. Yeah. But, anyway, I I I don't think I think I would be like, oh, and, like, I would be like if I see somebody for a friend of

mine for 30 years, I'd be

like, oh, that's it. Okay. Well I think I think that's the it.

At the end of the show Yeah. When this show is done, when we stop shooting the show, let's not see each other for 15 years, and then we'll see what it's like. Let's see if the payoff is worth it. I'm down.

Okay. But here's another thing I wanna say.

30 even maybe. 30 years.

Okay. Let's try.

Can you get there?

No. No. You're gonna die.

No. He's first of all, he's not.

You know, can I

Bobby's gonna live I already told you? I spoke to my, I spoke to my

I've never regretted something more in my life.

Than what?

Been calling you out on the $2 with Steve Wanda. The Steve Wanda deck. I've never regretted something more.

It was very funny.

No. No. No. No.

I can see your I've never oh my god. I fucked up, dude.

Well,

I can't believe that you're so upset about it. It's insane. Oh my god. So, anyway, but here's another I love you so much. Here's another hope for a thing.

And I don't ever wanna not see you.

Okay. So there's, you know, the soldier's coming home. Soldier comes home. Yeah. Surprises his 8 year old kid at school.

He's blindfolded. Right?

Yeah. Sometimes they're blindfolded.

Love those.

Kids freaks out, cries. Daddy. Jumps on top. Right? Yeah.

But my dad? I then I always think to my, I'm home. Right? Mhmm. I'd be like, ah.

You know? I would have, like, run.

You know what

I mean? Yeah.

You don't wanna be near that.

Yeah. So it's like, I whenever I see hope core videos and I relate it to my own life, they wouldn't happen.

Bring up a hope core so we can watch 1, and maybe it'll inspire us in a different way. The ones with the words, I think, are great.

Yeah.

Right? Oh, this is

Happy birthday.

Here we go.

New year. New year. How are you? Oh,

my god. Come on. Or let's play that back with us. Wow. Let's play that back with us.

Okay?

That's fucking beautiful.

Yeah. Yeah. That's I got I got stem stem shell replacement from my disco.

Buddy buddy buddy. Buddy, you're an old Korean man in the restaurant. Why did you go to that?

Because I'm just still mimicking that guy.

Do your own version. You're an old Korean man.

Yeah. But I'm not playing Mike Driscoll. I'm saying I got

I'm Mike Driscoll.

So I said I got I'm the guy. So I said I'm I got stem cell cells from Mike Driscoll. Sure. So why can't I say that as the Asian man?

That's what I'm asking you to do.

Didn't I just do that?

You didn't do Asian. You did a southern guy.

I was not Asian.

Wasn't Asian? You were like, I I I got my damn sales. Is that new Asian? If it's new Asian, that's fine.

It's new Asian.

Alright. Fine. Alright. Fine. New Asian.

I can't say I say.

What did you say?

I say I say I say I say I say I did.

I say I say Well, listen up, a cowboy. Shoot them up. Bang them up.

Anyway, man, I got why am I celebrating?

Oh, you're Ken Patterson now.

Yeah. Why am I celebrating? Oh, years ago, man, some guy give me some tell some research. It was Mike Driscoll.

What did he

give you? Stem cells in my spine. What was his name? Mike Driscoll.

It's funny because I, I have the same

name. Oh, anyway. Just gotta put I mean, that's

This is Bobby. Anyway, can I get the rest

of it?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And even if I was like now. I would be like, oh, you're the guy? You're the guy? I'm the guy.

Alright. That's it.

What if he saw him and he was like, I don't like the way you look? Imagine he's like, you know, somebody saved my life.

Okay. I'm the guy. Yeah. Yeah. You say I'm Tony Oksko.

Alright. You got it.

I was gonna say how funny this guy was racist. He's the black guy. He's, like, I guess, for me, he's like, I don't want these stem cells anymore. Yeah.

And he takes a knife and just stab his spine to to get it out. Goddamn it. How do you get the shit out? Out of my spine. Right?

And he oozes it into a fucking he's

fucking out.

Right? And then he gets it back to him. Here you go, black guy.

Here you go. Here's what

they Here's the stealth cells. Yeah. And

it make me jump

with that? Yeah. Yeah. It's I I knew I had sickle cell. So, anyway,

It's dark almost. Yeah.

Yeah. That's interesting. But see how happy would you be excited?

Oh, yeah, dude. If somebody saved my fucking Here

we go. Let's play it. You don't have to.

Do it.

But you're the guy now. You're the 1 that's telling everyone that you had some still some. Still some. That's that's sell some some.

I had sell some. And the only

Yeah. Right? I I just said it

wrong. Okay. Yeah. I had squim squells. I had stem cells put in me by a guy from Baltimore, 26 year old.

That's the only reason I'm here today, because of Mike Driscoll.

Hey, man. I'm Mike Driscoll.

You you are?

Yeah, man.

From Baltimore? You're Mike Driscoll from

Yeah, man. Really? Yeah. I'm the my stem cells.

It's from you? Yeah, man. Wow.

Yeah.

How did you know I was here? You followed me? This feels a little invasive.

Well, I I follow all my stem cells.

Well, I

I wanted this You're not the only 1, man, that has stem cell my stem cell I have stem cells in every city in America.

You spread

around your stem cells. So every I I follow all of them around, man.

Oh, okay.

I wanna know where my cells are at, dog.

Well, it's great to meet you.

Yeah. You thank you, man. How how are they working out for you?

Good, I think. Good. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, how about, thank you?

How about it?

Thank you're welcome. You're welcome, sir.

Just confused.

I'll see you next month.

I'll see you soon. Thanks for coming, dude.

He goes all over the country.

I do like this. I like these videos.

Yeah. Hope court.

Don't you like them?

I like that.

Give me another Hopecord that's gonna

We love Hopecord. We love Hopecord.

We're into Hopecord. You're watching this at night when you get sad. I know you are.

I cry every no. I don't like this cancer ones.

No. The cat I

don't I don't like the cancer ones.

No. No. Don't do that.

They break my heart too much.

Kids' cancer is gonna make me fucking cry. Yeah. Kids' cancer is gonna kill me.

It breaks my heart when the dad shaves his head. Why are you laughing?

What are you laughing at? You're insane, Connor.

You are insane, dude. Inset. Yeah. You're inset.

Do that.

What? They're already going out. You don't have to do it. You're bald as anyway. Yeah.

So it's like I Yeah. Dude, how funny would a whole core video be Yeah. Of a of a cancer patient and Carlos is shaving the sides of his head?

That'd be insane. That's insane. That's insane. Just a side.

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There are ones I don't like, though. What are the ones I don't like? There's some,

I'll tell you what I don't like. What? I'll tell you what pisses me off on the Internet. Yeah. Hey.

Excuse me. Could you help me with a dollar? Mhmm. And someone else. Why'd you decide to help me today?

Oh, you just needed a dollar, and I said, well, I wanna bless you because you blessed me.

There's a $1,000 cash. Did it

this guy. I don't like this game. I don't like that. I don't fucking like It's

a good game.

We don't like it, do we? No. What bothers us about it, though? I can't explain. I was trying to

say that the other day.

I was like, why does this bother me to my wife?

I'll tell you why. I I'll tell you why it bothers me. Because now I'm giving every homeless guy a dollar just in case I run to that guy. Right. I'm giving everyone a Yeah.

I'm like, is it the guy?

Where's the guy?

All the way yeah. And I never see the guy.

I've just been hanging out at Target all week Yeah. Waiting for the sky.

I think that's why.

Why does it bother you, Jules?

I think because you're then just faking Yeah. Faking it.

Yeah. Who's faking it?

Like, myself because you're think, like, oh, I have to do this in case someone's video like, recording.

Well, and they're video tipping.

That's what I don't like about it.

The video

of it all. Video. Yep. Look how good I am.

But let me say something. The I see a lot of dudes don't tip and and give money. So So maybe it's gonna force people to give money.

I guess. I mean, what what's the nicest thing you've done and nobody knows? Because it wasn't recorded. Nobody knows. You never really talk about it.

What's If

I talk about it now, then people are gonna know.

Well, what's a good moment for you?

So 1 time, and this has really happened. I was at a 711. The 1 right down the street. This 1 right here. Okay.

Right? And there was a homeless man, and he had a bunch of garbage in his it ain't my clothes, not garbage. You know what I mean? But on top of his, like, wheelie, what do you call it?

A a like a cart? Is it

Like a cart? Cart? Like a cart. Yeah. He had an album.

Not a not a record album. An album of photo.

Oh. Right? And I it was funny that you just didn't leave a photo album. It is weird to be like, you had an album. I'm like, oh, shoot.

It was amusing. It's like, no. No.

No. But when I opened it, I did open it because there was nothing in it.

Oh my god.

There was no pictures in it.

No photo?

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't open it to put my head shot. Like, here you go. So yeah.

No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But no.

So I left a $100 in there.

That's I

opened it. I I put it in there, and it closed, and I left. And I never sent anything.

That's I love that.

I've done little things like that before.

I love that.

What about you?

1 time 1 time I got cash from a gig I was working, and it was a pretty substantial amount of cash. And, I gave, I gave the envelope to a, to a person that I I saw used to see a lot in my old neighborhood.

Oh, that's cool.

Yeah. The he didn't wasn't like a big thank you.

I was See, that's I was

like, that was a lot of funny, man.

I would

Like, I actually was like, did you because he was like, oh, thanks, man. Good to see you. I was like, good to see you, man. And I kept being like

Yeah. I know.

I know. A fucking it was a lot of cat.

Right. Yeah.

It was a bunch of cat, and I thought it was the holiday season. I thought this is a it was when I used to live in West Hollywood. Mhmm. I saw this guy all the time, and I thought, this is gonna make his fucking this is gonna make his fucking holiday. He probably has family he can't see or can buy gifts now.

And he kinda he was just like, oh, thank you so much. And he kept holding it, and he didn't really, like, look at how much. Yeah. So I waited a little bit to be like, what's in there? Like, it you know what I mean?

Like, a parent on Christmas. Like, open it up.

Alright. So when I when I did, Guillermoquers, that movie

Yeah.

So I did a movie in, Montana Butte, Montana with Eleanor Kerrigan Love. And Leslie Jones.

Love.

And the weekends, there was nothing going on, and we're there for a month. Right?

Yeah.

So we go I said to my to Leslie, I go, let's do shows. So there's a theater in town, and we call the theater, and, like, we're in town. They're like, yeah. We sold all of them out. Of course.

Okay? There's no comedy club there. And at the end, we gave the money to the crew. That's so And and when you're doing that many shows, I mean, you're talking about almost 8, $10,000. You know?

A lot of money.

Lot of money. Right? Only 2 crew members thanked me.

Fuck off. That's it?

Yeah. And do what And I would even walk by, like, the the sound guy and go, hey. What's up?

As he's miking it And they're

like, what what what are you doing here? I go, good show last couple night. Right?

He's like, yeah. We're good. Did you like it like it? They like it like it.

Yeah. I go, did you get the food truck? Because, you know, the food truck? Yeah. The food yeah.

We've got our side boat because we get food trucks too. Yeah. No. Thank you. Nothing.

Yeah.

Well, you'll never work with that fucking crew again.

But it made me mad. So it's the same thing as yours.

It just it just you want it I don't want anything big, but you'd I did want him to be like, brother, thank you. This is like a big deal. He was

just something.

Well, because I used to give him money all the time, so maybe he just thought it was just what but I would give him money

a lot.

When I walk home from the store, I would give him money. I saw the it's the same guy. It's he's probably still fucking there. He watches the show.

What have you guys done nice?

Well, when I first moved to LA, I lived by this you I'll give her more time to think.

Yeah. Give her time.

Give her time.

Yeah. He said do something nice, and she was

made of

a fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What is it gonna be?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I got 1 time, I didn't kill kill something. And

Yeah. Yeah.

And the spider? I could kill it, but I didn't. Spiders.

Alright. 1 time you what, babe?

Well, I got discouraged helping when I moved out here because I lived by this Taco Bell, and I had no money, but I had just a little bit, and I gave my food to this guy who was sitting outside. And he I was, like, trying to give it to him, and he just goes, I don't want that shit. And then he lit up a crack pipe.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I was like,

I guess this is LA.

Yeah. That's LA. Welcome to

LA. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. By the way, that's the same guy that I gave the cash to. So you But

let me ask you something. That. What would you rather have? Taco Bell?

Or crack?

Or crack?

Well, I don't know where to get the crack in LA.

I'm not even gonna lie to you right now.

I moved here.

That seems pretty close.

That's like think so?

Taco Bell is crack to me.

You clearly

have never had crack.

You've never had crack. It's way better than Taco Bell.

Get me well, by the way, if I when I do smoke crack

Yeah.

I will end up at a Taco Bell at some point.

And when I smoke crack, I do the Diablo sauce on it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jules?

Can I have a doritos plus cracko?

The packets, like, slap yo, bitch.

Smack a hoe this Christmas with Taco Bell.

Jules, do you have?

Not like you guys. I haven't done really, like, a big, like

It doesn't need to be

a big to be. The point that we're making in this Hopecore episode

Yeah.

Is that it doesn't have to be a big gesture. It can be small. We go okay. Let's do a small thing so she can think about that. Because what we did was grand.

Giving a lot of money is what small thing? Give me a tiny 1. I know you do them all the time. I see you do them in I I'll give you 1.

Well, I I I do 1 that drives comics crazy. If I tell you what this is

Tipping in a lot?

Is gonna drive no. It's gonna drive you bat crazy. Do you think you'll get you'll get crazy after I tell you what I'm about to

tell you? Sounds like it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what I do is if I see somebody that has potential of doing comedy, I try to talk them into it.

I fucking hate that so fucking much. That pisses me off.

I do that. Hey.

Don't do that.

I do it's Friday night.

No. No. Stop giving Don't

point at me. Yeah. I've been doing this 12 years.

Yeah. Not her.

Who did you do that to?

A friend of mine that's a YouTuber.

Stop it.

Yeah. No.

Let people make up their own decisions. You know what it's like? You're in the program. Starting comedy is like AA. They have to wanna do it.

They have to wanna go. Let them go. Don't fucking force them into AA. Don't force them into a comedy. Yeah.

They have to reboot their life first.

Kevin Christie. Exactly. Kevin Christie.

Yeah. What? He's in a comedy.

Stand up. I did talk to him into it.

Oh. What do you mean? Oh, you mean he when he was thinking about it, you told him to.

Long time ago, I talked him in. There's a lot of guys like that. They're still doing it today because I talked to them into it. So don't tell me about what you're telling me about. Now, Jules, go ahead.

Well, my

Guy, I swear to god, dude. You know what? Let's soft let's push alright. Hold on. Alright.

Dude. Dude. Dude. I'm I'll tell you how this happened.

Wait. Hold on. Time out real fast.

Yeah.

Let me tell you something that you do that I noticed that is something small.

Tommy. Tommy.

That's very nice.

Okay.

Bobby will see a fan see him in public somewhere and can tell that they wanna say something.

This is

I'm being genuine. I'm being honest. Okay. And if they're looked too nervous or whatever, he'll make eye contact with him on purpose and go over to them to, like, make them feel comfortable to say hi. You'll deliberately I've done that.

Yeah. You will do that a lot. Yeah. Yeah. And that's very nice because a lot of times people will wanna say hi, but they don't have the courage or the balls or the or the fucking you know, or or just don't know what to say, and then you'll walk up to them and just give them a hug, or you'll smack them.

You like to hit peep you'll go, what's going on, man? What are you doing? Fucking what are you doing?

Yeah. I do that.

Yeah. You'll crack them a little bit to shake them up. Yeah. Yeah. And people like that.

I think that's a nice thing to do. I think that's a sweet thing that people like.

But I have to know for sure that that that that is happening.

Yeah. That's embarrassing. Well, I

because I got 1 time I did it, and they weren't looking at me. And I just came up to a table. I'm like, what do you want? No. It's me.

Yeah. And they were like, no. And I go, oh, no. Oh, and then it just went back. It was so embarrassing.

But, anyway, you have to know for sure.

I just don't I Yeah. I'd You

you don't what you know what? You're I've seen you at the airport. You're very good about it.

No. I love saying hi to fans. Yeah. I'll tell you what I don't like. I I I don't like the way I look.

Like, photos make me nervous because I don't like pictures.

Mhmm.

Because I'm like, I'm gonna look like fucking a dummy in this guy's photo. I there's something about it gives me anxiety.

But you do do born identity. What do you mean? Born identity.

What do I do this time?

Do is sometimes you'll wear a cap. I'm Jason Bourne. And we're at the airport, and you'll put your hat down like this.

Mhmm.

And you walk and this is when this is you going. I don't want

Yeah. Sometimes I just wanna be sometimes I just wanna be alone.

I I I there's all these little clues about him. I know.

It's the Leo. I do the Leo. Yeah.

I do the Leo. So there's little clues that he does. I go, okay. He doesn't wanna be talked to or he's in the thing or this and that.

Yeah. Sometimes I'm just say if I'm in an emotional mood, if I'm depressed, I just don't wanna say Yeah. Because then

I'm in your photo like this.

You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Because I'm low in your photo. I'm sorry. And I don't wanna fuck up your photo. So it's like, you know, I'll I'll, yeah, let's say hi and then but I do love saying hi to the fans. I just some days when we're tired and we're traveling, it's hard when someone's like, come here and get a photo, and you're like, okay.

Yeah.

And you look like shit and you feel like shit and you haven't eaten or slept. What's your nice thing?

Well, in the Philippines

Oh, fuck.

Here we go. Christ.

What do you

No way to prove it. Yeah. Can Yeah.

Right? There's no tracking record. Yeah. Also, can you do it in a first

full country? Hoth. When I look at hoth, the tauntauns. You know what I mean? I used to give them free hooves.

Hooves massages.

I'll tell you those tauntauns. They love that.

I know. You love it. Yeah.

Okay. In the When I met zoon Xenu, the 3rd sun god of the rotating

orb Yeah. Yeah.

What did you do in

the Philippines? Do?

In the Philippines, my friend who, who's gay, he came he came out he came out of the closet to his parents, but then his parents were very, like, Catholic and very religious. So he they, kick so he kick so they kick him out. Yeah. And then he had nowhere to go, so I asked my mom if I he could stay in our place, and then he stayed in

That's nice. That is nice. That's nice.

I don't know how to

By the way, when you said out of the closet immediately, it's like, my my gay friend come out of the jungle. And

I asked.

So closets?

There's a closet. What are

you talking about?

There's no closet. Yeah. There's no closet.

There's no closets in the Philippines. So what do they come out

of? Yeah.

We have just, like, a table. Yeah.

It comes out on a table.

Yeah. They make the gay guys get on a table. Yeah. Announce to everybody,

okay. I'm gay. So Raise your raise your hand if you're mad. Yeah.

So, You house this man who needed somewhere that's very nice because of a close minded family. Now is his family still disown him?

Yeah. They still hate him.

Yeah. But That's gross. Can I okay? I I I I I don't think you're it's real.

Oh, I like it.

So is Yeah. I'm I'm gonna tell you why.

You

think it's a lie?

I think it's a lie. Why? Yeah. Because Wow. You because I've been out there, how many times, a bunch of times now.

Mhmm. Yeah? Mhmm. And the gay culture, it's out.

It's out, buddy.

Me talk. Okay. Okay. Let me talk. It's almost like it's so socially acceptable there.

Right.

It's very hard to believe that anybody would be offended by it.

Mom and dad.

It even that, it's like so when we do my talent show

Mhmm.

Right, the gays come out.

Oh, yeah.

Do they not? Yeah. Right? And they they they compete. Yeah.

Right? I've seen their families come out.

Mhmm.

I've never seen a dad or a mom while their son was performing who was gay. Went, no. We don't no. They're clapping. Right?

Yeah.

It's just this is an open society. Not and and it's okay, Jules. Alright? Look at me right now. I'm not Stop.

It's okay. No. It's not lying. Jules. I'm Look at that.

Not lying.

Yeah. That's everybody there.

Is that your friend?

Yeah. That's everybody there.

So That's just the Philippines.

Just be honest with me. I'm not lying. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Because you're being very defensive right now, and you're yelling swear.

I swear.

You don't believe in god's

or something? Gay marriage is still illegal in the Philippines, so it's not that

Thank god.

You shouldn't clap for that.

No. No.

No. No clap. So sorry.

Yeah. Yeah.

Wait. Gay marriage is still illegal? Yeah. But but culturally, it's not

Culturally, yeah. A lot of people accept them and but it's just this parents Look at look

at them.

Is that your family photo?

Yeah.

Wait a minute. Go to honestly, go to what what what is, do you think there's a higher percentage of gay men in the Philippines than in other countries?

I just think that it's I what I love about the Philippines is that it's such an open culture in that way where it's like

Nobody cares.

No 1 cares.

But it's like here. That's like here. No 1 gives a shit that you're gay here.

Yeah. Unless you're you do drugs, and then they'll still kill you.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. What right. According to the 2013, which is really updated, Philippines young adult fertility and sexuality started 2% of Filipino men identify as gay. Survey found 96% of young people in the Philippines identified as heterosexual. So it is still embedded in the scariness of the society.

Maybe you're right then. Okay.

What's the percentage of gay men in America? It's gotta be 4. Yeah. 4a half. 4.7.

Now 8.5 adult women identify as gay.

Let me say something. So fake. What is going on here? I think do you think it's this?

Cultural?

Because it should be I think we're all human beings. It should be across the board.

Well, it does say look. I read it wrong. It does say, 40 4.7 percent of adult men identify as LGBTQ plus. So it could be That

could be anything.

That encompasses everything. That could say, like

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm asexual.

I'm Try to just do gay, not LGBT. That's what I'm saying.

Gay men on Earth. 3% of men identify as gay or homosexual worldwide.

Oh, that's good.

That's a pretty good a good number. What would it be what would why is it good? Is it good or bad? It's just a number.

What's good about it? I think it's a healthy amount.

Like, we're drafting gays?

What's the healthy amount of gays?

We gotta get our gays up.

It's a perfect amount.

Listen here. If it

was 12%, you'd be like, what's going on here?

We gotta get our gays up. 72% of Gen z adults identified as straight. 15 as bi, 5 as gay or lesbian, and 8% as something else. 72% straights now. We're losing it, straights.

We're going down. The straights are getting thinned out. Nearly 30% of Gen z adults identify as LGBTQ. So 30% of the Gen z population says that they are LGBTQ plus.

Wow.

That's a lot of kids.

And I'm supportive, so let's move on.

Yeah. I don't I mean, fuck. I don't have any kids.

I don't have any kids either.

Hey, dude. Hey. What's up? Childless. No wonder we're still no no wonder we're still doing this podcast.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You know why we're doing this podcast? Why? I'd like to I'd like to tell you why. I'm a rockin', dude.

Don't come knocking. Yeah. Do you want 1 of these? I'll buy you 1. Yeah?

We're doing this podcast because it's the most fun. It's the most fun and got a little announcement for the fans. We're working on it, but your boys are gonna be coming to Bing's on toast.

We're

coming to the UK. UK. We're gonna do London. Hello. Hello.

Probably gonna do Dublin. We're probably gonna do, maybe, Amsterdam. We're gonna let you know, coming up soon in the fall. We're gonna be touring around because we wanna go see our our friends over the water.

Some people may go, some people might not.

I think everyone would wanna go. Yeah. London, show up for us.

No. No. No. No.

No, buddy. This is just for us. Oh, you're saying jet ski?

Well, last week, you said I was going, but that Did I? Now you're looking at me like I'm not going.

What's a 50 50? I mean, we we have to make

this decision. Decision together. Yeah. I it's my

How come you don't go?

Yeah. Why don't you go?

Because my visa

Oh, your visa. Yeah. Your visa.

I can't just go to any country.

What about the 59 states we went to last year?

Yeah. I had school.

Bullshit. You're done with school soon. When is school over?

Next week. Wow. Forever.

You're graduating. No.

No. No. I graduate next semester.

Oh, wow. That's still fast. Yeah. It seems like

But you have, like, a month 3 months off?

Yeah.

What are you gonna do? Go back to Filts?

No. Oh. Just nothing. Just sleep.

Were you scared when Trump won?

Yeah. Even my boyfriend was like, oh, maybe we should just, like

I can only hope Trump goes through with all this stuff. You know, we're gonna kick them all out. It's like, when?

Yeah. Yeah.

So let's go. Sweet it up. I mean, I don't know if he's gonna

Too many Asians for me.

Too many.

You're Asian too.

No. No. Trump is San Diego.

Yeah. Yeah.

He's in. He's done. He's lost.

I'm a Twinkie.

He's on the list, dude.

You know that. Right?

When I

say Twinkie, what does it mean?

I don't know. I thought White on

the inside. What are Twinkies?

I thought Twinkies are gay.

You're right

there, mom. Banana. No. That's not a but

You're a you're a banana cream puff.

You're a

cream puff. I'm yeah.

Also sounds gay.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It does.

All this stuff does sound gay.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you are part of the 3%.

Yeah. Anyway, I'm pretty white. Which 1 are you am I?

No. No. You're a beautiful Korean man. You're proud of your Korean heritage.

Yeah. I don't think I am because I hang out with a lot of Asians.

Yeah. You're that's good. That's a good thing. A lot of Asians. You like you like what you like.

What is this you're showing us a map?

The sanctuary cities in America.

Los Angeles is not 1 of them?

Not yet. What?

What the fuck's going on?

Cities for immigrants? Mhmm. Yes. Wow.

Look at them.

I think LA is in discussions to become 1 officially. So what does a sanctuary city mean?

The refugees can come there

And not get deported?

Correct.

Wow.

Yeah. But they have to be they have to meet government. You have to file, you know, as a as a seeking asylum. You have to come to the port of entry. You come to the port of entry.

You come through a border, and then you seek asylum, and you have to register that you're an asylum seeking refugee from whatever country, and then you get registered with the government. You can't just, like, fucking catch a flight, come in, and then hide out somewhere and be like, I'm a refugee. It's like that doesn't count then. Wow. Okay.

And then you're not gonna get any government services if you do it without them knowing.

I see. I see.

So if

you need money while you're fucking here, if you're coming from somewhere that's you know, that's how you have to do it.

All I'm saying is the if he deports the amount of people he wants to deport, dude, the the country's gonna be fucked. Yeah. Well A lot of companies

I don't know, man. No. I mean I'm pretty excited about it, dude.

Like, farm

I'm out of here.

Like, farming communities, it was fucking a disaster, though.

Get them out.

Alright. You'll see.

Get them all gone, dude.

There's 2 things you'll see about me getting buff and fucking you'll see what happens with this.

And and by the way, 2 things that are fucking rock and roll. Get rid of immigrants and get you jacked? I mean, dude.

Yeah. But you don't think I'm gonna get jacked?

Trump sounds like captain of America.

You don't think I'm gonna get jacked?

I don't. I no. I you're not. You're not gonna get jacked. You're gonna get skinnier because you keep losing weight.

You're down £14 now. Yeah?

Something. Can you do you know do you notice the difference?

You look so small right now.

Yeah. You do look smaller. Lift stand up. Lift up your shirt.

You can be real.

He is standing up.

I love you, Jess.

That that joke, dude?

That's a good joke. All

but good.

Look at this. No belly. There's, like, no fucking doubt.

Right here. Wow. See?

That's nothing, dude. That's nothing. You were so much bigger months ago. Carlos doesn't believe it. Ask the window.

I do know. You do? From the other shoot we did last week. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's the first time.

You're gonna have to call your fucking podcast Tiger Abs.

But when I joined the gym

Tiger Abs with Bobby Lee getting jacked. You and Kumail just working out every day. Imagine if you become a fucking Marvel character because of this. Woah. That'll be so sick.

If you get jacked as fuck and they give you a Marvel role

The only Marvel role I could be is Sunfire.

Perfect. That's you. That's you with Kumail. Right?

I mean, it's fire. X men.

Pontiac made a car called the Sunfire for a while. That's you?

That's cool.

I mean, that's the only Asian 1. 0, of course, he's gonna play it.

Who is that? Shen Zhui.

Shang Chi.

Oh, that's a Shang Chi guy.

Yeah. Yeah. Can somebody else be Sunfire, please? God. They're gonna get the same

He's hot.

Yeah. That's true. He's a

good looking guy.

Good looking. Yeah.

We stay in our lane.

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No. Are there red headed superheroes?

They're red headed no 1 is famous that's red headed. And if they are, they're mocked.

No. But no. But did did Marvel or DC ever create a superhero that a superhero that happened to have red hair?

Poison Ivy. Poison Ivy.

Oh, yeah. Poison Ivy. Phoenix.

Never a guy, though.

Yeah.

Yeah. Male red headed superhero. Right? Male, m a l e, male red headed superhero. Let's see.

Ed headed. Yeah. Male ed head. Who is that? Shaft?

Shaft was black.

Wait. Shaft had red hair?

I don't know. Go back. Yeah. Go back. New guy.

Roy Harper.

Can you zoom in a little bit? Like, in the whole thing? Yeah. Yeah. Roy Harper.

Oh, yeah. There we go.

I guess.

Did you go with the bow and arrow? Who's Wally West? Wally West? You're so the the red spheres. They ran out of names.

Wally West. What do we call this 1? You mean you mean?

Wally West.

Yeah. Does the King disaster? No. Wally West. Wally West.

What what's another Geo Force is good.

Geo Force. I don't know any of these guys. The shield.

The shield. That's pretty good.

Light ray.

It's getting weaker. Ray. There's an old owner.

Just a guy that lives in my building.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hank Hall. These are just guys I know.

I know. They're just

Hank Haywood?

Yeah. They're all

By the way, what the fuck is this? Daredevil? No. This list is fucking dumb. You're not right.

Whatever this is is not the right list. Yeah. I don't even know what that's that that list is wrong. Get off of this website.

But don't get angry about it.

Well, he's not good.

What what? Because you don't like the white name Wally? That's a good superhero.

About his googling lately. Ant Man. Oh. 0, but they gave that to Paul fucking Rudd.

Right.

Thanks a lot.

Thanks a lot, Paul.

Thanks a lot, Paul. Rudd.

You could be, like, $2 bill, man.

I could be, like, the Woj, handing out $2 bills at random. He's doing good, or he's inconveniencing people.

Paul Rudd closed the circle for me once.

What do you mean? Circle meets the square?

Confer conversation circle. What happened? Mhmm. Hey. Tell you.

Tell you about that? No. I just know what you're talking about. Yeah. I was on, Pineapple Express.

My bad. Okay.

No problem.

I was there, and, my agents were like, see, you gotta learn how to, like, meet people. Mhmm.

You know

what I mean? Like, start conversations.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? When you're on, so that's how you create you know what I mean? Relationship. Relationships. Relationships in the business.

So I was smoking a cigarette, and with Pineapple Express, it was Seth Rogen, Apatow, Paul Rudd, a bunch of people, and they were talking in a circle. And I was out on the curb, like, kinda near them smoking a cigarette. Yeah. And then my agent's fucking thing went,

you know

what I mean? Do it. This is it. Right. I put the cigarette down, and I wander into the circle.

I don't know if it was Paul or somebody closed the circle.

Paul does stuff like that.

Yeah. So then I was on the outside of the circle, and then then I went back to the curb as well. I hate that. Yeah. Yeah.

He rudded you. You got rudded.

What I find out now is is that I I can tell when people wanna talk to me on set.

Those guys wanna talk. I'm just kidding. Those guys probably love you. They just sit down.

In my head. I probably did did it wrong.

They didn't know you were there.

Yeah. I didn't know. I did it wrong. Yeah.

You didn't make enough noise.

What would you do? Hey, guys. I play golf you guys play golf? You guys know about the $2 thing with the Allen whatever. He makes them.

Allen. Whatever is it? Yeah. Steve. See, see.

You guys hey, guys. You guys know about the $2 thing with Steve Wawake. Right? It's interesting. Every in fact, I'm gonna mention it on my 1 day, I wanna have a pocket, I wanna mention it.

But it's like, do you guys throw in your 2¢. Do you think you did that? Did you do something like that? Interesting.

Well, I

don't get cut out of circles like that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Actually, I get invited in.

I know you do.

I get not only do I get invited in, I get a big hug.

Yeah. Yeah. I get to travel with the mic.

That's happened happened last night, actually.

Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. It happened to me Friday.

Literally happened last night.

I got picked up like a little American Girl doll.

Blake Griffin picked you up to show you off.

Oh, so here can I tell everyone what happened? Yep. So I was at the Comedy Store, and I was with I was on a date.

6 foot 9.

I was on a date. Mhmm. And Andrea's there. Not my date.

Andrea Jin.

Andrea Jin's there, and she's a comic. And I'm on a date, first date with somebody. You met her. Right?

Yeah.

She's a

very nice girl. And Andrea goes, oh, Blake's coming. So I go, okay. You know, Blake Griffin. Mhmm.

Like, yeah. We see him come in, and then Andre leaves to go say hi to him. And then, you know, I I I turned and this is the mistake I made. I turned to the girl, and I the date I go, let's go say hi to Blake. Right?

So we go over there.

You thinking this will show be a show off moment for you a little bit? Just a little bit of, like, I know a famous guy. Love you, mom.

You're right. Yeah. Called me out.

Well, it's a little moment for you.

You know, when I kiss that, don't make that face.

I didn't do anything.

Okay.

Hang her back up.

It was all there.

No. Put her up behind you, though. She belongs behind you. You knocked her off the wall because

you slam your chair backwards. So, anyway, there's So so so Blake's there, and I and I, I go in I shake I go in to shake his hand.

Big hands.

Right? And he looks at me, and he grabs me. Yeah. And he pulls me up into the sky. Yeah.

Like lion king.

Like the lion king. Yeah. Yeah. And Yeah. And so what happens is I go, he's gonna put me down.

Right? Were you there?

I didn't see this part.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You were there, though.

Yeah. I was there. Yeah.

Yeah. And he it it he goes he has a monolog. Yeah. Hey, guy. He goes, hey, guy.

I don't shake your hand. I hug you. That's right. Right? And I like lifting you, and you're my little guy.

This and that. Right? And I'm up there for about a minute. Right? And I'm blushing, and I'm trying to get down.

Right? Help. Yeah. Help. Help.

Help. Right? Right? He finally puts me down. I'm blushing.

Right? And I'm thinking to myself, oh, my date didn't notice that. Right? So then I text her to her yesterday. This is what I text.

I go this is so embarrassing. She goes I go, do you remember when Blake Griffin picked me up as if I was an American Girl doll? And then this is what she says. Your legs were dangling.

So cute. So cute. Now did you guys hook up? Did you guys hook up?

Him and Blake? Or Yeah.

I mean, Blake. Yeah. Yeah. He's a freckly dick.

Yeah. He does. Yeah. Yeah.

People don't know this.

It it's like mine, but darker. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a little darker. Very freckly.

No. This girl, is it are you interested in this woman now? Is this a real thing?

No. I'm just come on. I don't know what it is. Okay, dude. Yeah.

I don't We

don't know who it is. She doesn't know who it is. No 1 knows

who it is.

No 1 knows who it is. Yeah. Doesn't

matter. No. You're you know, you just go on I go on a lot of first dates. Let's just say that. And not not a lot of seconds.

That's crazy because you love seconds. It's the fault.

No. No. That that that doesn't work that doesn't work because I'm unozempic.

And you don't like seconds, so I get

it. But it was a good job.

It was in theory, it's structured.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So in in Australia, you had some Zingers on board. Zingers.

Some Zingers.

Kid was on fire.

Anyway, yeah. So he picked me up, like, a little because you've never been picked up.

No. I won't allow that kind of stuff. No.

But there's no 1 that can pick you up?

Blake could pick me up easy. Yeah. Blake's huge.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He could. He just wouldn't do it.

It's just a mutual respecting number. Pick me up?

You're a teeny

tiny Tim. You're a

teeny tiny Tim.

It's extra funny because Brad Williams was there too. Did he pick up Brad?

No. He stepped on him on accident.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait a minute. You're very pick upable.

Yeah.

Yeah. You know how you pick your dog up? When you see your dog, you pick him up. You bend down.

Yeah.

Same thing. You're small and cute and lovable, and I Oh

my god.

And here's the deal. I wanna kiss you. So I want your little face near mine.

And, also, I

So I wanna hug you. I wanna feel your little tauchee, and I wanna give you a little kiss.

This is the same topic, but this whole fucking Korean deer thing got out of hand. It's all What

are you talking about? A Korean deer?

People online were like, there's a Korean deer.

Oh, I got tagged. Oh, I got tagged.

This looks like Bobby.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It does look like you. It looks exactly fucking like you.

And then I posted on my story, and every I got more comments than I've ever had. Everyone go, like, 100% yes.

You a 100% look like this. It's un that is fucking Bobby Lee.

That's so

cute. It's crazy how much

How do why does that look like me, dude?

The eyes are perfect. It's like the same depth of feel in the eyes that your your your face, The cheeks are perfect. The nose. The nose. The ears even.

It just looks like you because his eyes look like the kind of love you have in your eyes and your soul look like exactly like his. Look at how happy he is.

But do you wanna fuck that?

I'm gonna plead the 5th, man, because I you know?

That's what I'm saying. When you say that I look like that, it doesn't seem sexy. Well You know what I mean?

Well, look. Look. I've never fucked a deer.

Like, that deer has never been laid by another deer.

That's not true. That's not true.

Yeah. That's an incel deer, dude.

No. It's not.

Yeah. Look. He's alone.

He's outside.

Okay.

He's taking a walk. He's like,

this is.

He does look like he has a cleft lip or something.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He is cute, though.

So cute. Yeah. Yeah. That's you, bro. Okay.

That's you.

But then a bunch of comments said and I had to do research. Bunch of comments were like, dude, it's a fucking donkey, dude. You're a donkey.

Is that a donkey?

It's not a donkey. It's a deer. It's a deer.

It's a 100%

a deer.

It's a it's a female deer.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I don't know who the fuck okay.

I don't know who the fuck did that.

That is

Did you do that, Carlos? No. Phenomenal. Somebody did that.

That's so good.

That's so fucking funny, dude.

That's you, dude. That's literally That's insane.

They put my beanie and my glasses on there. That's wild. That's wild, dude.

That's cool as shit. Yeah. More of that, guys. Send that stuff in. We love that.

Yeah. Anyway

Absolutely love that. If I was gonna be an animal, what animal would I be?

Well, you don't look like an animal.

I don't. Do I look like an animal? Chest nose.

There's not an animal there's not an animal out there that you look at and go, oh, that looks like Andrew Santino.

I'd have to

find some animals that look like you, maybe.

Maybe a beaver. Do I look like a beaver? My teeth are big in the front. My toothbrush

There's not an animal out there. Give me a lion

or something.

A red beaver.

Yeah. Your vibe is like a lion, though.

No. No. No. No. Dude, there is a guy that I just saw today.

I love you. There's a new viral listen. There's a new viral tiger. Google it. And I think this is more it's a viral tiger tiger that's coming that came out

Yeah.

Dude, all caps.

Google it in all caps.

Go images. That's him. That's you, dude.

Oh, I could see that.

That that

is does look like.

That's what I it came to me. That's you, bro.

That's you. That's me, dude.

Look at me, bro. Right? Oh my gosh. Yeah. We're doing it.

That's literally how I sit outside. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But that's not the same tiger. Go to that. That guy, though?

That's Andrew, dude. Yeah, dude. That's you, dude.

That's me. What's going on? What's his name? Ava. Mudang.

After Mudang Yeah. Ava golden tiger.

He's going ape shit online.

Really? What's going why people just love him because he's unique?

Well, he's, Island's new sweetheart. He's, a tabby cat.

He's a tabby cat.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he's just he's got the right proportions there. Aw.

Look at him. He's so cute.

He's Thai.

Yeah. Yeah.

Jules, now that you're gonna be done with school, what does the future hold?

Well, nothing.

I mean, nobody wanna

give giving these people

What's your ultimate goal?

Ultimate I don't know yet. I still don't know what I wanna do. I still don't know

what Animals. Something to do with it.

Why don't you do a podcast about animals?

Well, I don't know if that's gonna be interesting.

I mean, it's just so you I'll I'll be honest with me. A future in podcasting isn't something that you would wanna do.

Not podcasting.

Yeah. Podcasting sucks. So what what I know. But what I'm saying is is that why why so why why don't you do the easier, softer way, which is podcasting? Because you'll make more money.

Yeah. You work less hours She

doesn't care about that.

And you have freedom. But you don't care about that.

Not really.

That drives me crazy that you don't care about that.

Okay. What what about I like playing games. What about, like, streaming?

Yeah. Stream.

Stream. But

Yeah. But but still, that's not like you know?

No. What do you mean? That's just his vibe. That's just like podcasting.

Be great.

Unless you're, like, the number 1 streamer.

She could be the number 1 female streamer.

Maybe.

You're not gonna beat the guy. What's his name? Kai Sennet? Mhmm. That guy's fucking so big.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

By the

way, that's what she's aspiring to be. That well, that's pretty viable. Mhmm. You know? But the 1 thing I will say about that streaming thing that I don't it gets a little

Mhmm.

What? Girls streaming always goes down this weird little rabbit hole of, like Sexy. Sexualizing. Yeah. They get sexualized online.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So as long as you wear, like, a full coat, like a winter jacket when you're doing it, I'm okay with it. Yeah. As your uncle uncle as Tito Andrew. I just think the streaming thing for women, the thing I'd I see sometimes on there is I'm like, oh, they're all being sexualized on this thing. It's not just about the thing.

K. If I if you turn it to what this TikTok that does that with the with the mute

I'm not gonna do that. That's

oh my god.

You know that guy?

Yeah. I know.

What is that?

The guy that does that?

The girls do. You know it. I'm gonna see the

guy do it. What?

I don't think you know what I did just do.

Yeah. I don't know what's I

don't think I don't think he's looking at

the screen. What? I was looking at what he pulled up.

Yeah. Yeah.

Pulling up the names of the screen of

the camera. Let so

Show it.

Have you seen this?

What the fuck is that? What the fuck are you doing? Oh, and they do, like, a time lapse thing?

No. Is he cringe?

They're doing, like, an anime kind of, like

Oh, I don't like it. Whatever is up.

Look it up, man.

How do you type that

in? Anime.

Bobby having a seizure?

Wait. Usually usually, cringe, Cringe anime streamer? No. Like, cringe, any cringe Instagram or TikTok usually has Dude, you're on your

gen z fucking

I don't know what

you're doing, dude. TikTok, dude. Yeah. I'm trying to find it through through

Oh, the latitude of lows.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He does a new job. Right?

Doing a lot like

Yeah. Yeah.

Drunk guy gets an act what is

it? Drunk guy.

Gets an ax?

Right? Like

Forget it, dude. Forget it. Let's move on.

Oh, let's watch him.

My No. Forget it. Let's move on.

Let's watch him. Let's watch him. Let's watch this guy get tased.

This is just my algorithm.

You're gonna get shot. Put the ax down. You will get shot.

Taze him.

Put the ax down.

Tase him.

John, put

the ax down right now. There it is.

Good, John. Here.

Step out here right now. Why? What what are you here for? Okay. I'll tell you that 1 second.

You took it to a different level.

Now pick up the ax again and get

tased, dude.

Your bond's been revoked because you got a DUI. That's what I'm here for. Get them. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Listen. This ain't the end of the world. This doesn't mean you can't go near that ax. You're gonna have a fucking problem, brother.

I'm telling you right now. We can deescalate this and you can get back out of jail. We can take this a whole new route. I'll tell you right now. You gotta put another fucking ass.

Get back. You hit me first. Yeah. You're damn right. You're absolutely right.

I hit you first, and I'll hit you again, bro. And I'll hit you again. I will hit you again. I will hit back up. Back up.

That's a bail enforcement agent, by the way. That's not even a cop. You know that. Right? That's crazy.

No? He'd he jumped bail. So he has, like, a Are you back? You know, he I have He gets to act as, like, a peace officer or some bullshit. He's not actually a cop.

Property on my property or something. That's why why you have a Who

side are you on? I think it's clear.

The guy the guy who's trying to just the ax. The guy who's trying to grab the ax.

That's you on his side? Yeah. Why?

Because what are you doing on my fucking property? Get off of my fucking property. Okay. You don't belong on my property.

I was thinking you would react the same

way.

If the guy came out of my property, get the fuck off on my property. You're not allowed on my private private property. Fuck you.

I don't know what tase looks like, so I think it's a gun.

It's a taser gun. A gun a taser looks like a gun.

Okay. Because that wouldn't know.

Yeah. It looks like a gun. But, I

mean Oh, he has a gun.

No. It's yellow. It's very obviously

a taser. Okay. I've never been tased. Does it hurt?

It hurts like fucking it's the most pain it sucks. You fucking you freeze up, and then you fall down. It's the worst. I hate it.

You've done it. You had you've been tased before.

An idiot in college had a fucking taser, and I fucking hated it. It was so dumb, and we were drunk.

Oh, wow. Can we buy 1? No. Yeah. Yeah.

Just buy 1.

Alright. Buy 1.

Hell, yeah.

It hurt it's Can you die?

Because I don't wanna I don't wanna even be tased and die.

No. No. Well, look up their reactions with Ozempic. Does there a taser or Ozempic thing? Yeah.

Possible side effects of Ozempic. If you are hit with a taser, it may stop working. No. That's fucked. You know, I you

know, I read that Find the fucking thing. I was in the face thing. Oh, yeah. And find the thing. Okay.

Man. God.

It's either that or what's going on around here, dude? That or we go back to the

$2 bill stuff. So Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Go back.

I don't wanna go back to $2. Idea. Maybe the 1 that blew here. The blue yeah. Yeah.

This shit. Yeah. Yeah. Look. Andrew.

Alright. Start it over. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Now

that we see it. Start it over. Okay. Let's see.

Yeah. It's it's this kind of thing where they're like

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's all anime stuff.

Yeah. And if you did that I'm not my heartbreak heart my heart do try it. Try it. Maybe you have it. No.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. The water. Yeah. Yeah. You try it.

You try it. Do it. I don't know how.

Yeah. No.

No. You know the Internet's got that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's see it.

Go. We did it. Just do it. We'll cut it out if you don't like it. Yeah.

Go. Bye. I don't know how to do this. It's so cringe. Jess, go.

It's so cringe.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You could

do it.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah. That's good. So good.

Don't do it.

Don't do it. Yeah. You're not you don't have it. Now now my heart is free. I know you can't do it.

Can't do it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

How many views is it? Like, is this popular?

This is Misty Raines.

A lot of people, like

They go to Misty Raines thing.

So they just watch her do that? 3 fucking fucking million people? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. This 1. Yeah.

Here we go.

Dude, I'm working too hard.

Yeah. What are we doing? Yeah. Oh, man. I hope they bomb us.

I hope we this country's over soon. This is Yeah.

This is insane.

This is what we're doing? This is it.

And by

and can I tell you something? How old is this kid, by the way? Is this a child? How old is this person? Probably old.

Some of them have OnlyFans. I wouldn't know.

Oh, okay.

But, anyway

I I mean, how old is this girl? I I like, well, who are we watching? It looks like we're watching a kid a child.

She is 19.

Ugh. What do we do?

Get I know.

I'm not watching some kid do fucking gross. Get out of here.

That's weird.

And there's a dad that does it. Sally, do the dishes. And she

I'm coming. I'm coming. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. We're fucked.

We're fucking.

She's just fucked.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, and then she goes to anime conventions. Right. This is I've seen this anime convention thing is, like, they don't do it once a year. They do it all year round. There's these things.

They're all over the place.

Yeah. You don't wanna do that, though. No. I don't wanna

You know how Comic Con was, like, once a year? Now it's, like, all year.

No. Because every city has 1 now.

Well, every city has everything, though. There's many different kinds. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So Jess wanted to promote her show. Is that why you're here?

Oh, I did wanna promote

my But

it's not coming out until

No. Maybe after the smoothest transitions of all time.

Oh, yeah.

It's unbelievable you. You're flawless.

You fuck you, man. Talk to me like that. Dude, anyway real.

I am going to, New Jersey, Sunnyvale, California, Fort Worth, Dallas, Portland, Seattle, and Lexington next year. So I'm just gonna take this moment. If you're out there, if anybody's out there, come see me.

I mean, if if there's a way to do it, that's it, dude. That was perfect. That was so organic and shit. Good. People loved

it. Yeah.

Not only it just helps the rhythm of her selling the show.

What are you doing, man?

Just criticizing you. And let me and let me and I'll say

criticize you as

well. And I'll say why. You shot at me about the woe sting, so I've been shooting at you.

It's funny. It's like

Don't bring a don't bring a knife to a gunfight, bud.

Yeah. I'm bringing a bazooka.

You couldn't hoist 1 up, you fucking little

So this is

what happened. Fill in the blank.

You know, you and I come here, try to set the tone of the show. I've heard a popcor. Pretty good rant.

That was a good rant.

That was good. Popcor. Yeah. Couple of other things. And you you had the $2 thing.

Right.

And it died. And I think that's why you're mad. And you know what? There's a healthy way of getting that resentment out. You know what I mean?

The way you're doing you're you're, you know, going back and forth like that in your new chair.

I'm rocking in my chair.

Yeah. Doing this, like, the thinker, whatever you're doing with your head. I've never seen you do this before. Well, it's

because my back hurts.

The thinker. You know what I mean? So, I think we all know in the room, right, that that was a fail.

Right?

I got I got an MRI done

Oh, I'm sorry.

On my back.

What's going on?

And they were like, all of this pressure and disk slipping is from you carrying Bobby's career lately. And I said, that can't be showing up on the MRI. They go, trust me. It is. And we all see it.

Yeah. And I said, who sees it? He goes, the community at large. Mhmm. And I said, the doctor community?

He goes, buddy, social. Social. It's everywhere. Everyone can tell. So I gotta get you off my back.

I n t e r e s t I n g, dude. Interesting.

That's fucking awesome. Okay. I told

you you could

spell. You're good, buddy.

Anyway, No.

He did say my back issues are from

Mhmm. Interesting.

From Maybe you should take a trip to Wi

Spa. No. We had fun.

We had fun. We went, and I can't believe you've never been. I said Andrew must come here all the time.

No. I like Great

for him.

I used to like Vodaspa.

Yeah. But you never even tried Wi spy, Hern.

Yeah. I don't like it.

But how do you know you don't like it?

He never meant. He's stubborn.

Too many. Too many Cody

Oh, so I thought

Too many. I thought when Yeah. Let's let's talk about your experience at Wispa. Yeah.

I was I was kinda nervous going in the whole naked thing. You know? Everyone's naked, and and Bobby was like, will you I won't see you naked. I don't wanna see you naked. I I don't that's so gross.

We're not Watch you get naked.

I will I will not. Forget. I was gonna say joke about Yeah.

Like, why be mean now?

No. I don't want because it's that's not fair. Right. So anyway You

said you're saggy tits. I don't wanna see No.

I didn't say that. No. I was

just Yeah.

You did, didn't you? I was gonna say

something way worse, but go ahead. Go ahead. I love you.

Well, now you have to

say it. No. I was I was

kidding. I didn't have 1.

Say it. Say it. No. Say it.

A beautiful lady naked. Now go ahead.

So, anyway Yeah.

As we're

walking in, I say, am I gonna be the only white lady there? And he go, no. No. No. Tons of whites go.

And it was true. It was a good diversity mix. You wouldn't be the only white there. And I kinda get why you said no 1 goes to the We Spa with you because I was telling my friends, and they're all like, I don't wanna be I don't wanna be naked with Bobby. I think people think when you say, do you wanna go to We Spa, they're they're thinking you're asking, can I see you naked?

Kind of.

No. That's absolutely incorrect.

But I think that's what they hear. It's like, it sounds like you just wanna see all these male comics naked.

Well, I have done it before. Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, Ian Edwards. You know what I mean? I try to get Chappelle.

Lacey. Yeah.

But what are the what do they have in common? They're black. Exactly.

But I don't get your point, but you

don't want see it. He wants to go with black.

Yeah. Yeah.

I like

to see it.

But when you go male, female, you're, you know, just you're in different rooms. But then the coed, you're in a

uniform.

With me. Mhmm. Fun? That's the coed. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's really fun, but it's relaxing.

It's so relaxing.

That's why I don't wanna go with him.

Yeah. Go at a different time, but you should go.

Please go with me.

No. How unrelaxing would that be for me?

You guys would get he got recognized a lot upstairs. Yeah.

Yeah. That'd be so not relaxing. Okay. I have my little getaways. I go to my gym.

I go in the cold plunge. I go in the sauna. I go in the steam room. You know who talks to me there? Fucking nobody.

Fucking no 1. I get in the cold plunge with my little tiny red penis, and it's freezing cold, and my little penis goes like this.

It does the cringe boy thing.

Okay. Dude, have you been in a cold plunge, by the way?

I love cold plunge.

Yeah. They have 1 always.

Yeah. Do you do them? Oh my

I stay I go in there for 10 minutes.

That's literally impossible. No. You don't.

I I I do. Maybe it's not as cold as the way you're going through. But because

the cold plunges, you couldn't go in for 10 minutes. You would be it'd be it might be different.

I I'm let let me say something. What I most of the people, they go in for, like, a minute. I try to go up for 10 minutes because I go to the point where I'm about to die.

Oh, right.

Yeah. Yeah.

Good. Well, that's good.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's very good.

And I I and I and I'm gonna tell you why, if I may. Okay? You may. Well, I'm gonna.

Thank you.

Okay. I I go to Hyundai Day Spa. Mhmm. I've been going there for years. Mhmm.

And there's, like, a 95 year old man that's there. K. Okay? And he does a routine, and I observe him. Okay?

Yeah. Over the years, last 20 years, I've been

Asian man.

Old Asian man. Yeah. And he does halfway in the cold plunge. Yeah. Then there's there's 2 different spot.

There's a Jacuzzi, but there's also a spring water 1 where it's super hot.

Love that.

So he'll go 5 minutes there, and he goes back and forth. And I think what he's doing is circulating his blood. Just trying to stay alive. Yeah. Yeah.

And so I've been following the same thing as he does. Good. You know what I mean? And I think there's something to do with your health. I don't know what it does.

But they say 3 to 5 minutes is kinda the optimal time to get the benefits that you need. After that, you're kinda not you know, because it's because it's down to 45 degrees. I mean, they they tell you in between 4060 is the high end for cold plunge, but 5 to 10 minutes, you don't wanna go any more than that. There's no need for it. Post workout is 2 to 3 minutes.

But what are the benefits of it?

Well, there's a metabolic boost you get. That's 11 minutes in total time over 2 to 4 sessions per week has metabolic recovery benefits. Right? It's good for your muscle tissues. It's great for me for my nerves because my my nerves because of my sciatic nerve, it's really good.

It, like, calms the nerve down. Ice is the best. Ice is the fucking best.

Can we go to We Spa so you can show I can show you how long I go into the cold plunge? I don't think you would believe me, so I wanna do it.

I believe you wholeheartedly. I think you could take

doubt me.

Knowing you, you could stay in there for 20 minutes, I bet. Okay.

Well, then we'll get

because you're a strong boy.

With me, please.

You're a strong boy. Plus your body's compact. You're not stretched out. So everything is close.

Okay. Anyway No.

I'm saying, like, your engine

you for being a bad friend.

Your engine is warming here.

Thank you for being a bad friend.

Have to go that far. Yeah. You know what I mean? Mhmm. That's true.

I my limbs are long.

Yeah. Anyway, Jess, will you go back again with me 1 day?

Yeah. I go back. Yeah. I was in the steam room, and as I walked in, I was in there for a minute, and then this lady walked in. And then there was, like, probably 5 to 6 ladies in there, and then out of nowhere it's quiet, and out of nowhere, this lady goes, do you wanna find your uterus?

Oh, yeah. You that right. Right.

And, like, right before she said it, I was about to get up and leave, but then I was like, if I get up now, it's it's gonna feel like a response to her saying

that.

Because she told me about that.

Well, did you did you lose it?

Well, I I don't know if it was to me or to it felt like it was to the room.

Where is your what does she mean by that?

And then another lady goes, yeah. And then she just starts talking about, like, feeling on your abdomen where the uterus

is. Oh.

And then I had to, like, just kinda wait there for a while before I could leave respectfully.

Oh, can you imagine if a guy said that to you in a in a spa at all?

Yeah. Like, he was like, do

you wanna find your g spot?

Yeah. It was so awkward.

Well, let's play that out.

Yeah. I'm in the tub with you. Do you,

What's up?

Sorry. I just Yeah.

I do. I usually don't.

Well, for a living, I just I kinda Yeah. But I I'm like a life coach.

I mean, health coach. Okay. What's up?

Do you have you ever found your g spot as a man?

I'm done. Thanks, man.

Oh, you already found it? Excuse me? Can I help you find it? Can I help you find your

g When you say

I'll do it for

free? Okay. When you see g spot

charge, I'll do it for free.

See g spot. What do you mean? Like, in the penis cavity or, like, my anal cavity?

It's in your butt. It's in your butt, and I can I

have 2?

I help men find it in their butt.

Yeah. And I found it. You already got it. I found just I just found it just now.

Can I find can I try to find another 1 for you?

Oh, so you're sitting there too? Yeah. Well, if you say so, go ahead.

Come here.

Yeah. Yeah.

I put this. So this wand you see this wand that I have? It looks exactly like my penis.

I know. Yeah. You know, I've watched Harry Potter. I've never seen it shaped like this.

Well, if you turn around and I say this magic phrase and I put my wand in there, it'll detect where you're spotted.

You know what? I'll give it a go. Yeah. Why not? Is it is it in?

Expellias

Is it in?

Jizzius. Yeah.

Okay.

Is it in? Did you find it? Oh, rude. I found it.

Yeah. Yeah.

Did you?

I can't feel it.

Okay.

Yeah. Well Yeah.

Have a good have a good day. Have a safe drive.

Yeah. Did you know about the $2?

Oh, yeah. Tell me. Tell me about it.

I've got an Allen washer watch. Dude, I actually Yeah. You're this guy.

I walked into the steam room the other day. I did have a guy. I walked in naked. It's you traditionally, you put on a towel in the steam room because you sit down. Uh-huh.

But I walked in naked because no 1 was there. It was after hours. Yeah. And I walked in because I was a little bit in pain. And so I walked in with my cock out, and I was like,

I was,

like, grunting through the pain because my pain was strong. And then I hear a guy go, you okay, man? And I and I can't see him in all the steam in the fog. I go, fuck, dude. I don't know if someone's in here.

I'm so sorry, dude. And he's like, it's okay. I just you want me to get out of here? I was like, no. Yeah.

You don't have to come.

No. You do make noises in the steam room that you can't

yeah. Good.

Yeah. This is a noise that Koreans make. I don't care where you're from in Korea. Can you

guys understand each other?

We know what this means. And there's no it doesn't mean anything, but we know what it means. Yeah.

It's this. It's unspoken. Here

we go.

Mhmm.

It's aigoo, aigoo, aigoo, aigoo, aigoo, aigoo, aigoo, aigoo, aigoo, aigoo about 4 or 5 times. Goigoo. We understand what that means.

Aigoo. Yeah. And everyone

And we go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What does that mean? Like, it's lamenting in in pain?

Like

No. It's like it feels good, but it hurts, but, you know, I'm glad. You know what I mean? Right. It's soothing.

You know? And then another 1 that we know what it means is. Juk Juk. I told you about that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm. We don't have to re you know about juk juk? Yeah.

Yeah. What is it? I don't

remember, but I remember the phrase juk juk.

See what see what he does, McCone?

He's worthless.

He just agrees without listening.

At this time at this point, he just comes around.

When you do improv, you you know, agreeing is fine, but you have to listen as well.

No. He doesn't. That's why he won't do stand up. I told you. He's not Yeah.

You're not yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Give us a joke. Let me hear you do a bit.

Did you

say, oh god? Yeah. Did you say, oh god? You don't wanna be on the show anymore. You don't have to be on the show.

Your attitude

Your attitude is fucking bananas. By the way, Pete has been pleasant all day.

Hasn't said shit.

Brought us cookies.

Yeah. Yeah.

Wait. Can we do it together? Okay. Because we haven't been on the show together, and I don't think I'll be honest with you.

Never had you've never been on a show together before?

We have not for months.

We've gone.

Seen her in a long time ago. And I'm going on the road next year, so I don't know if when I'll be back. So Okay. Okay. Thank you for being a bad friend.