Transcript of Brinity and Tryce: Monday, July 13th, 2026

Good morning, girlies. It's The Toast.

It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts.

It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy Monday. I'm back. Like, oh my God, everyone, I know how devastating it was that I wasn't here on my birthday.

I haven't seen you since you've been 30, 30.

Negative 30, yeah.

30.

Negative, yeah, no, couldn't have come at a worse time. I missed my birthday show, I missed after the family episodes. It was just like, there was a lot to do on Friday.

The hits start coming and they don't stop coming.

And you know I wanted to like show up and have everybody like sing for me and it's like, oh, it's her birthday. Oh my God, I got taken out. I had literally the worst birthday ever. I spent the entire day in bed. When I woke up— okay, so actually, of course, I blame Love Island. The night before, we were watching Love Island, preparing for the next day's show, and I started to get like a headache. And I was like, oh, these people just like making me sick. Like, they're just disgusting and I hate this show. It's making me physically ill. I went to bed and I woke up with the same headache. And it's like, that's not supposed to happen when you go to sleep. The headache's supposed to go away. So I like got up for the day, I like went downstairs, and let me tell you, I was blinded. Like, I was in so much pain. I got back in bed, it just like kept getting worse. I spent the whole day in bed crying. I was literally just crying. At 2 o'clock, like, mercy came upon me and I fell asleep for like 2 hours, which definitely helped.

But I was like seriously not okay until yesterday. Now everything worked out fine, not to make everything about me, because like while I did have a terrible birthday lying in bed all day crying, I did sort of have this like backup plan in place because I was throwing myself a little soiree on Sunday. So I feel like yesterday I got to really reclaim my birthday. We had a little event. I'm sure you guys saw, like everyone's talking about my, oh my gosh, my birthday party. Yeah, we'll talk about it. Um, so overall I feel like I'm fine with how my birthday turned out, but it was such a rough day and I was like, actually the day like sort of turned out nice at the end.

We had like a nice Shabbat dinner. We like sat outside for a little bit. And by the end of the day, it was party.

Yeah, but like, I was seriously not okay. Like, I was operating at such a low level physically. I was— me and my flu-like symptoms, you know.

Yeah, we know. Well, we did get to sing for you. I don't know if we wound up posting that clip. Did you see it? Ben and I—

of course I saw you guys singing.

Did it go up on the Instagram?

I feel like I didn't— like, I saw it.

I feel like I didn't see it on Instagram.

No, I saw it. I saw it.

It was a really, like, disturbing rendition.

I didn't love it, I can't lie.

It was a disturbing spooky rendition.

It would have been better if, like, due to my absence, nobody sang. That would feel right.

But we had to sing for you.

Yeah, it was beautiful. Ben stepped in, and Ben has, you know, a lot of unpopular Love Island takes, which is not unusual from our usual recaps. So he was here. But today's recap, I do want to talk about family day. I want to talk about everything that we missed because this is our last Love Island recap ever.

It's just letting you know, ever Love Island recap. Though I do think these people will be in the news for the next few weeks, and that part's like kind of fun. Who's staying together, what's happening. There's a reunion in 12 weeks.

Why do they always do that? I remember they did it last summer too.

It's a mistake. It was a mistake last summer. Nobody cared by then.

Nobody cared.

I don't even think we watched part 2.

Yeah, I'm like so hotheaded right now. Like, I would love a reunion.

Yeah, have people answer for their sins. We're like 2 weeks, you know, sin seers.

Um, so our last Love Island recap ever, because I will never watch a show again. I'll never waste my time, my heart, my energy, you bitch, ever again on the show.

I'm so excited about that, and I'm also so excited because I feel like a couple years ago, like, we didn't watch Love Island. Everyone was like, watch Love Island, watch Love Island. So like, we watched last year, we recapped the whole thing, we watched this year, and like, again, so much protestation. We watched the whole thing, we continued recapping it. You guys are begging us to stop talking about it.

Like, made my life—

it's a dream come true that you guys are begging us.

It's true, our plan worked. I can't even tell you, like, how much my summer starts now. It has been ruining my life. And not only did it make me physically ill, it's like every single night, yeah, I want to play mahjong, I want to watch a movie, I want to hang out with my family. Yeah.

I want to read my book.

Back to the couch to watch these brain-dead morons, like illiterate morons. I can't wait. Okay, we keep talking about it, but we will do a full recap.

Yeah, it will be the stories because it's like the winning story, the lead story of the day, like who won Love Island. So we'll get to that. But we do have to talk about your birthday party.

We do have to talk about my birthday party because a couple of like weeks ago I told you I went to my friends, my friends who are twins. They had like a little dinner party that we were playing mahjong. It was like mahjong theme, like mahjong napkins. And I was like, that is so cute. And I came on the podcast the next day and I was like, you know what, if I have a little soiree for my birthday, it's gonna be mahjong. Like, that's all I care about. Cut to, oh my mahjong emailed me and they were like, let us do this. And I was like, sure. I was like, I'm gonna be in the Hamptons, so can we do it in the Hamptons? They were like, yeah, of course, like you invite your people, tell them to be here at this time. I had no part of it, I had no idea what I was walking into. And they threw me— seriously, I just feel like it's such a flex to say like, oh my mahjong threw me a birthday party. I feel like everyone— it's literally like people are saying it's the Acquired style bachelorette party of birthday parties.

That is what people are saying.

I think it's the acquired of—

I'm getting hate because everyone's jealous.

A 32-year-old birthday party is the equivalent, right?

Yeah, it was like this waterfront soirée, you know, a cool 35 to 40 people. We played mahjong, we had cocktails, they had like little embroidery stations, they were giving away hats, they gave away of course like Oh My Mahjong gift sets. Everyone got like—

everybody got a set from Oh My Mahjong. The sets that we played with were all Oh My Mahjong. At this point in my life, I will not play with tiles that are not Oh My Mahjong. Like, they're just the pargiest, the size is the best, they rack nicely on there. You don't have to always count how many you've racked when you're like shuffling and dealing.

There's a trend on TikTok right now, like, here are 5 things that are actually worth the money, and everybody shares. So I've been I'm cultivating my list. Oh, my mahjong tiles are definitely on the list of things that I think are actually worth the money.

Yeah. And so we got a set.

Yeah, everybody got—

I didn't know that was happening.

Everybody got embroidered hats. Everybody— we were making little bag charm stations. Like, it was a perfectly executed event. They gave out Dot Cakes, which I think, like, all these people, the most exciting thing that— the best part of the party for everyone was the Dot Cakes. And they came in these little cups that said, bam, Dot Cake. It was so cute. Like, it was probably the most professionally executed party I've ever been to. And I had Nothing to do with it. Like, I truly showed up. I didn't even know, like, what the attire was. I was just like— I told everyone who I know who's in the Hamptons, I'm like, yeah, come by. They had teachers. So, like, the tailors— I've been begging them to learn how to play mahjong. They were sat in this table. They did not get up the entire party, the two of them with their baby and Margo's friend Ryan. They all learned how to play with this teacher. Now it's like all the people I wanted in my life— Dana learned how to play. I'm always looking for people to play with. Like, teaching someone, I'm just not— like, I am not— I don't want to play with you that badly.

You can lead a horse to— if you teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime.

I'm just like, I taught Margot Walsh, right, how to play, and that was probably the least painful 'cause she's, she got it. Like she figured it out. I just can't teach people how to play. So having these teachers come in, it was just, it was a dream and it was the best party ever. I feel like everyone's talking about it. It was so party, like everybody went home with like so much merchandise.

Yeah.

I just sent people home with like food and rocks and tiles.

It was amazing. I have regrets that I didn't get a lanyard. Like they're so cute.

The lanyard. Yeah.

Oh my God. The lanyard.

Oh, and actually, The best part of the whole party was like, we got to meet everyone from the mahjong team. Oh My Mahjong, so many toasters. And the woman who spearheaded the event, her name was Rachel, she's like an OG toaster. She was like so excited to do this. It was so fun to meet her. And she was like, by the way, like, I got you a gift. And she's like, it's from me, like, not Oh My Mahjong. I'm like, oh my God, you got me a gift? Like, that's insane. And so I opened it up and it was like, some people, you know, professional mahjong players bring their own card everywhere, and you put your card in this little case. And so she got me a little case that had like the logo from the event. I'm like, oh, that's so sweet. And then she was like, open it. And I was like, okay, what's in there? Like a check? And I opened it and it was the NMJL card from the year I was born, which is of course 1999. Um, no, from 1994. She got me 4 of them and it was like, she was like, you can, Ben could do like a date night where you do.

And it was funny because in the top left of the card it had like 1s and 9s instead of 2026. I'm like, why 1s? And it took me like an hour to figure it out.

Not 9s and 4s.

Oh, maybe 1, 1, 9, and 4. 1, 9, and 4. Yeah. 1, 9, 4. It was so thoughtful. Like the whole thing, I felt so special. And especially after having like such a dreadful actual birthday, I was really on cloud nine. It was the best day. And like seeing everyone come from, like, people who are in the Hamptons, people drove in, like, it was just amazing. And like, yeah, oh my, mahjong threw me a birthday party. I can't stop saying that.

It was so amazing. We got to play mahjong.

Oh, that's all I want to do on my actual birthday is play mahjong.

Yeah, it was really, really fun. Like, it was a dream event.

Dream event.

Like, don't invite me to your event unless it's that.

100%. It was a gorgeous day.

We were on the water.

We felt like we were Mykonos.

Like, it was sick. Spicy rigatoni.

Oh, the food.

The food was so good.

It was so good. Yeah, it was amazing.

It really, really was. Yeah, so that was the week.

Just call me acquired. Acquired. Ajong.

Yeah, acquired. I love it. Well, happy birthday to you.

Thank you so much. Sorry for missing Friday's show. I am back. Like, it was just completely out of my control, you guys. The timing could not have been worse, um, and I'm really sorry, but like, Ben clocking in Oh, and I wanted to come on the show on Friday and talk all about our adventures at Round Swamp. Like, I was so excited to tell everyone.

Ben and I talked about it. Oh my God, Ben and I did like the longest episode ever.

I know, an hour 35, which was just—

so I didn't know that was happening.

You didn't know as it was happening that it was going long?

No, no. And actually, I skipped the fifth story.

You love to skip the fifth.

I know, because I like just sort of like blended into the recap, and I know I knew he had to leave, so like it would have been longer.

So what I was gonna say to Queenie and Weenie You love to skip Queenie and Weenie, of course. Yeah, um, what I was gonna say on Friday was that Thursday after the show, Jackie and I headed to the viral, you know, sensation Round Swamp, and we spent so much money getting 4 things, mind you. And we also got into a fight, and we vlogged the whole thing. We came home, Ben taste-tested everything with us. We got food for us, food for Ben. Ben is like a Round Swamp hater. Um, and then we also ended up, of course, talking about the Romanoffs. And now, now I actually know. Jackie's always talking about the Romanoffs, and like, my big truth has been like, I have no idea what you're talking about. Like, I know it's like this royal family in Russia. And I know that, like, spoiler alert, very tragically, like, they died with some, like, some, like, commie energy. But, like, I didn't really know. And so Jackie explained to us the whole Romanov thing. And let me tell you, I've really been thinking about it. Like, I'm ready for the series, of course. And then, of course, when you were explaining the whole Prince Philip thing— so there's— it was an amazing vlog, and people are lauding it as our best work yet.

Yeah, there's a lot to chew on. There's a lot to learn.

You know, I got tagged in a TikTok, somebody doing the trend, like, things that are actually worth the money, and they put on there, toes Patreon. And the comments were like literally toes to Patreon. And someone was like, really, is it worth it? And I was like, yeah, it is.

Wait, what's the other thing on like your things that I went through?

So you're supposed to do 5. I just remembered all my mahjong tiles. I don't want to spoil it. Um, but I, I should do one. I started thinking of it this morning. The Ralph Lauren sweaters. I want to do one from Ralph Lauren, which like are so not me because it's a $400 sweater. Let me tell you, I can't have enough of them.

They're the most amazing.

They are the most amazing. It was $400.

I didn't know I used to have a—

yeah, of course it was $400. Monopoly dollars.

Oh, when I got my cute cup, right?

That, I only have 2 things. I really wanna be thoughtful with my list.

Okay, here's mine.

Yeah.

My Mason Pierce hairbrush.

Ooh, that's a good one.

That's a good one.

Yeah, Jackie has a $200 hairbrush.

I do, and you know what? Beyond the fact that it's like really good for your hair and when you brush it and it looks pargy and you like feel like Marcia Brady like brushing your hair. Totally. Because I spend so much money on it, I never lose it. Take care of it. Yeah, in the years since I bought it, I probably would've bought like 8, crappy hairbrushes.

Oh really? I never replace my hairbrushes. That's what I told you. What are you talking about? I literally have had the same hairbrush. And I want to say, I clean it out. Like, I don't— I don't not take care of it, but I don't know, it just feels like so indulgent buying a new hairbrush. I have one at home. Yeah, like, I had this paddle hairbrush, like, literally since our childhood home, and I only recently got rid of it in a move. Um, hairbrushes. Okay, that's a good one. Mason Pearson. Anything else come to mind?

Oh, the La Mer moisturizing cream.

That's a good one.

That's worth the money if you, if you need it, but you don't— the thing is, not all of you need it.

Yeah, no, of course. Like, if you're young and sprightly, like, don't be getting La Mer. There's a time and a place.

Yeah, yeah.

I could do about like a whole lot, and people were doing like baby and mama product list, which I could do.

The La Mer lip balm.

The La Mer lip balm, that is like your essence, the $85 chapstick.

I would do that over the cream just because it's again more affordable. Agreed, agreed.

And it's like so absurd.

I don't want to lose everyone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I could do like a whole one of things that are not worth the money. Yeah, nothing, nothing is worth money except for your sweater and your tile. Except for my 5 things. Yeah, I have to think of the other 3. I can't wait to post it.

Oh, I may—

I'll make one for you.

Maybe I'll make one. Yeah, maybe I'm— maybe I'll make some content.

Get in on the trend.

I love making content.

Yeah, okay, Content House.

Yeah, I make a little content.

She does, just a little. Just a little. We've got a great show today. Also, like, some breaking news. I don't know if it came out and I missed it on Friday's episode, um, but I've been like genuinely foaming at the mouth dying to talk about the Sophia Gates thing. Um, and I love that like people saw her fraud and thought of me.

Her name is Sophia?

It's called Fia. No, I just assumed her name was Sophia.

What's her name?

It's definitely Sophia.

No, Phoebe.

Phoebe. I love that so many people like saw her major fraud scandal and immediately thought of me. Um, I'm obsessed. Like, this is up there with the Margaret Qualley, like, stories that genuinely bring me joy. Um, I knew it. Like, I literally knew it. The whole thing was—

I didn't expect you to be right so soon.

And so I wasn't expecting fraud, like, actual— what I— and we'll get into the details, but like, it's actually a crime what they did. I thought it was going to be one of those things where it's just like everybody loses money and it's hype, and in 5 years we'll be like, what happened to that company? I wasn't thinking like actual crimes.

No, and I wasn't thinking the turnaround would just be like so lickety weeks. And like, you know, if it did fail, it would sort of like fail with a whisper, not with a thud.

And it would fail because people don't believe in women founders.

No, but it would just sort of be like we forgot about it. Yes. It would be sunsetted.

Yes. It would be like, um, what are we talking about? That list of celebrities who have podcasts, like Jonathan Van Ness's podcast. Like it never ended, but it's like, what happened?

Yeah. You know, sunsetted.

Correct. So we're gonna talk about that in depth because I'm obsessed.

Okay, so we could get into the stories because we do have to talk about Love Island, as that was like the core tenet of our weekend, unfortunately for us.

But it's overall, it's a happy occasion because the show is over. Like, we are free. Can we go out to dinner? Like, we—

by the way, we could go out to dinner. Yeah, I was visiting with people on Saturday and they've been out here too, and they're like, how are you like liking the restaurants and everything? I'm like, what are you talking about? That never occurred to me that dining out was an option. But it's like, because I am watching Love Island, which means like, I, you know, my kids are asleep and like I have time for myself.

Of course, think of all the things you could do. I could spend that time at a restaurant. Like, you could do a hair mask. Like, there's actually— just got a K18 hair mask.

I could do like an at-home spray tan, which is like what I've been doing.

Or just like do nothing. And the two nights that we did get off, Wednesdays and Saturdays, like, they were so special that I couldn't do anything, you know?

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we couldn't go out. We had to just like cherish.

We had to just acknowledge. We sat around and just acknowledged how great it was.

I think we did maje too late. Yeah, too late into the evening.

Okay, well Let's dive in.

Without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know.

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Thank you, full price turd.

You're welcome. I feel like sometimes when I do the ads, like, I, like, I was just operating at an insane level. Like, I didn't stutter, I didn't miss a beat. Did you find that, or you like, wasn't really paying attention?

Yeah, no, it was great stuff. It was great stuff. Maybe you could be nominated for best ad read at the iHeart Podcast Awards.

Is that a category?

Yeah, remember? And we were snubbed.

I, uh, if we don't win an iHeartRadio Podcast Award for Thuma, those bitches don't know talent.

But like, they have a category called Best Ad Read, which is just an insane category.

It is an insane category. And then we weren't nominated because a lot of people actually don't know this about the industry, is that we are, I think, the only podcast who does live ad reads. Yeah, they all like sit in a studio and boring read a script like a commercial, but not us. Not us. Oh my God, we come up with jingles, we have inside jokes.

Not to go back to it, but it was actually probably the snub of the century. Like, how do you have—

go back—

how do you have that category? Like, why do you have that and not include us? And like, we were nominated for Best Comedy Podcast, but honestly, I would have preferred to be nominated for Best. That would mean they really saw us for who we are, and they didn't see us.

No, it was honestly just like— it was hard trying to be an influencer for a day.

I think it's so much more than being an influencer.

Of course, yeah, 100%.

Okay, first story, Love Island USA.

This will contain spoilers.

Season 8 crowns its winners. Season is over. We have our winning couple, and it is Brinity, Bryce and Trinity.

And you know, it's— it was always gonna be Bryce and Trinity, but they did over the last like 2 episodes really try to make us think it was gonna be Carlin and Aya, and I almost got hoodwinked because that date was insane. And now if you think about it, the dates really went in order. I mean, Kaden and Zach's date compared to some of the others, like, they were in a ditch.

Yeah, get out my swamp.

And someone was like, they were eating a Jersey Mike's sandwich. Like, there was— it was just a bad date, like, compared to— and then Millie and Sincere was like a little bit better than that, but like, meh. Carlin and Iyas was definitely like the best date, just in terms of the planning. It was an insane date. And I just want to say, like, if you are a Carlin and Iyas truther, this is not a safe space for you.

You might want to just—

you also might want to get your brain checked.

Like, this is so copy and what—

of what happened last year. Like, Nick and Alandria tried to date, they didn't like each other, and now everyone's like, there are a couple there. And now people are coming around to Nickalandria truthers, but it was so unpopular to say during the season finale, in like the last few episodes. That is exactly what's happening with Carlin and Aya. People forget she didn't choose him. And them being like top 2, getting the best date ever— they've been together for 5 minutes.

Yeah, they didn't have—

they don't talk about anything except volleyball. Like, I'm sorry, I just can't stand like people just hyping them up They are not a real couple.

No, they are more of a real couple than Nicolandria was. Like, at least they kiss and like they kiss in bed and they like each other and they're like, yes, you know, feeling it out. But what we saw last night was propaganda. Yes, Carl and Anaya propaganda. And I think the biggest thing— the date was insane. It was obviously like so beautiful, so romantic. I could be there with my worst enemy and I'm falling in love.

It was so— the books hanging—

the biggest thing was that they wrote them this fairy tale so that most of the content of their date was them reading this fairy tale. And we didn't see a lot of like organic conversation between the two of them. Now we fast-forwarded through a lot of dates.

I'm sorry, 2 hours is insane.

I did want to like judge the quality of conversations between each couple. What do they talk about? Like, how do they— how do we see their chemistry? I thought that Zach and Kaitlyn like had a really sweet date, and they, they got so screwed. Really, they got so screwed like with that horrible date. Every— they really edited them to be like sort of a joke of a couple.

If they had started to not like them and production and editing like didn't really help, they leaned in. And I'm not even like a big fan of theirs. I'm not a hater like everyone else, but I do think there's something weird about him. Like, I just don't get good vibes from him. And I will say, like, their conversation was so cute. I said to you guys when we were watching, this is the first time I've actually felt like they were really cute. Their conversation— they are a real couple, and they don't get enough credit for being the longest-standing couple in there in terms of their competition. Like, they haven't had a perfect relationship, and a perfect relationship is red flags too. Like, why aren't you— they had a couple of bumps, nothing major. No, the fact like they just got so disrespected. Like, the audience hates them. Editing like leaned into all of it. They got this shit date. They came in fourth. I'm sorry, them coming in fourth before Melanie.

So Zach saying, uh, I would like— let's meet the bombshells after having sex— is worse than everything Sincere did? Is that what you're saying?

100%.

Is that what you're saying? What Casey did is worse? Because I mean, he got eliminated too.

They should have been there.

But like, people are so mad at Casey. So, but not Sincere?

Yeah, no, no, Sincere getting away with the crime of the century. It's insane. Crimes, uh, Crimes of the Century. It was such a frustrating episode. I'm like, you're telling me Carl and I, who have been together for 5 minutes, came in second place? Kaden and Zach, who I don't even like that much, but they are a real couple and they've been through a lot and they came on the other side. When he was like, I just want to be where you are, I don't even want to go back to England. Like, it was cute. I'm sorry, it was cute. It was just insane to me. Like, and production was so heavy-handed.

So they had like a flow of conversation. Melanie and Sincere, I'm not watching, I don't really care what they have.

Oh yeah, but Carl and Anaya's date, like, literally we didn't get to see any— anything they talked about was about this book.

They were just reading a book together, reading the book, and then like after every page, that was sweet volleyball. Volleyball, volleyball, volley. All they talk about, all they have in common is volleyball, volleyball, volleyball, volleyball. And that was straight up propaganda because we never got to really see their connection. We just heard them talk about it through words that someone else wrote for them. When I saw Kada see that book, like, that's heartbreaking.

I know. And they all did like a good— even like all the other girls.

No, but like Trinity and Bryce, they got another, like, another beautiful date.

Very beautiful. And their conversation was so cute. Like, they told each other they loved each other. And the more I think about the whole Zach situationship thing. Like, Trinity and Bryce, like, are just sort of a once-in-a-lifetime type of thing where you meet someone, and I do believe that they're really in love. And so that just sort of, like, leveling up the expectations for everyone around them is unfortunate. And I think that a lot of these people are very desperate to, like, be liked and famous, and so they just go along. It was so— the whole season was like groupthink, like, you know, we're doing what everyone's doing. So everyone in the villa is saying girlfriend, let's say girlfriend. And I think a lot of people did it, like, prematurely, maybe because of the pressure from Zach and Brittany and Trice. And I don't think that that was their intention, and it's not their fault, but like, they can't help— they really did fall in love. Um, and I love them. I'm so glad that they won. But they really tried to make us think Carl and Bryce— I mean, Carlin and I, I really thought that they were gonna win.

I'm like, they were gonna win too.

No way they're beating Brittany and Trice.

I guess they had to like bring up someone so that there was even a question.

It would have been a boring episode.

Yeah. But then by the time they were announcing couples, I was like, are they going to be Carlin and Aya.

They didn't do the money splitting thing.

I, I wonder why. Maybe because it's a waste of time, but the whole show is a waste of time. You've wasted years of your life.

Why stop now? It was so frustrating. And I can't even stress how I'm not even like a Zach and Kaita truther, but I, I can see that they're— I think that they're like really into each other, and I think they'll be together for a while.

I think so too.

If Carlin and Aya are together for a while, it's Nickolandria 2.0.

Carlin and Aya will be together till the reunion.

I do think Melanie and Sincere like won't, even though like it would— that would just be her admitting. She keeps saying, I don't want to look dumb, I don't want to look dumb. And it's like, well, you're going to come out of the villa and realize you do look dumb.

Yeah.

And like, people voted for you just to see what would happen, not because they believe in you guys as a couple.

Crazy that like America— then they— she feels like— and with every vote, she feels very validated.

I know, it must be so confusing actually.

It must be like, you have your family coming, being like, it's worse than you know when he's playing you, and then America is like rooting for you.

That's like psychological abuse. I want to talk about, um Family Day really quickly. The only thing worth talking about was Melanie and Sincere. Um, that was so crazy. First of all, obsessed with Sincere's dad. And then like that video from his mom last night being like, I'm so proud of you, you handled yourself with grace. It's like, what show are you watching? And I get that like she had to say something nice because it was like a nice roundup video.

Yeah, we're not saying mean things, right?

No, of course. Like maybe we just don't say anything.

We're not like— we're not even like glancing at the negative. We're only focusing on the positive.

And that video was like cute and weird. The list of celebrities like was kind of dark.

Yeah, like Demi Lovato being the most famous person And it just like, it kept going down.

Yes, of course you could tell by the end, like it was, we had Alex Warren and then we had Jordan Sparks, like it just kept going down. And they brought it back up with Cash App. Um, it was weird, like I thought that whole thing was weird.

Um, but like, and the videos were weird and yeah, it's just weird. Yeah, yeah.

I'm so glad this is over. Kenzie going on Call Her Daddy. Oh yeah, Kenzie's been like out here making TikToks. Her and Dylan are like doing lives, you know, Love Island people.

Of course they love to do lives. I saw like Sierra's mom's doing lives.

I know, let's talk shit about Ariana Maddix.

Um, I'm excited.

Very well received, Kenzie.

Good. Another one that I feel sorry for, she didn't like move perfectly, but she really like was also sort of like—

I just want to say, I kind of feel like she did move perfectly. Like, this show, everyone—

no, up until—

up until— she took it a little too far. She didn't know that the exploration phase had ended for everyone. Like, everyone decided at once, yes, we're done exploring. Like, nobody told her.

Yeah.

So I feel that she got one extra kiss in, and I'm sorry, I just don't fault her for that.

Um, I'm excited for her to go on Call Her Daddy though, because Alex has really been rooting for her and has made some really good points about like, well, she is like doing what Sincere is doing in a more ethical way.

Yes, Sincere is in the top 4, beloved to everyone, and Kenzie's like this villain.

But also like, it's not just that like Kenzie's exploring for the sake of exploring. Like, she really like turns her back on anyone who disrespects her immediately. And that's the sort of behavior that we would love to see from Melanie. And Anaya choosing Casey again. So like I think that that's a really good example. Like, even Zach in the beginning, she likes Zach, and he like literally didn't even look twice at her, and she never spoke to him again. She never spoke to him again. The minute she saw Corbin on the live stream, she never even considered going back. So like, that is a good example.

That's what we've been like demanding. Yes, from these women. And it's like everyone's obsessed with the core four. Core four, which are the four girls, they've been like best friends the whole time. They were the top four, which is also like inherently an insult to Kenzie. Yeah, because she was there—

Because she's the fifth? Yeah, well not even Kada was a bombshell but like Beyo was gone so long ago but like when we talk about the girls from the beginning like it's so exclusionary of Kenzie 1000%, core four, core four, core four!

And I just wanna say those are your queens right there, not one of them could stand up for themselves now one of them demanded more than the actual below-the-bar expectation treatment except for Trinity, except for Trinity, I'm really not talking about Trinity but Anaya chose KC, that's your queen right there, not mine Uh, Kada seriously could not stand up for herself once against Zach. And like, she was just like— she would listen to Zach and be like, yeah, I agree. And then she would listen to the girls be like, yeah, I agree. Like, seriously, I like her, but like, no backbone. And then who's the third? Oh, Melanie, please. Your mom and your sister come to you crying in Spanish. It was so fucking dramatic, like a telenovela. I was living for it. Two seconds, they're not gone for 2 seconds, they're like, I'm gonna give him another chance. Like, these are your queens.

No, and even in that conversation when she's like, you have one more chance, do not fuck this up, I will never speak to you again, you can see he's Oh really, I have to like change? You can see he's like, that sounds like a lot. He's not down. No, he's not down.

And I saw somebody say this on Twitter and it's so true. He's been acting this way all this time, like being such a fuckboy without a phone, right? I shake at the thought of him having access to the world and then becoming famous. So like, oh my God, it'll be over before it even begins.

Yeah, it will be really interesting to see how everyone moves like now that they're famous, like living in LA. All of that, who stays together, you know, friendships change too. So I feel like, like, that last night in the villa, that last night of camp, it's like it will never be like that again because, like, the outside world is going to, like, corrupt them. Some of them—

when you think about, like, all the girls from last season who were so tight, like Shelley, Alandria, they're— no one's watching Sierra.

Sierra.

So Sierra and, um, Shelley are still really good friends. They're also really good friends with Clark.

Yeah, they're all in Mexico right now together.

And honestly, Clark is like the TT of last season. Like, yes, sorry Taylor chose her, that's unfortunate, but like you're supposed to choose a person you love here. Like, sorry that that happened to Alandria, sorry that that happened to Anaya, but like you cannot be villainized for doing— for choosing someone. Yeah, at least you made a choice.

Yeah, yeah.

They're also friends and none of them talk to Alandria.

That's weird.

I do think when some— someone becomes so much more famous, like of the, the rest of the girls, like they're just successful influencers now, they're not famous. We were talking about maybe Alandria being at the Met Gala, like she's on another level. I just do think it creates like so much competitive and like jealousy and resentment that. Like, you're never gonna— these are such young girls. Like, not— sorry, not to like reduce women to like being jealous of one another, but like, it's hard. I think that Alandra becoming like the biggest star in the world and the other girls just like really very quickly fading into just influencer culture— I think that—

I don't know if it's just that. I don't know why I feel like I—

there's more.

I just— them being friends with Clark is crazy, but I just think higher of Shelly than that. Yeah, like, they were so close. I don't—

so close.

I don't think she would just be like jealous of her. I think she would be happy for her.

Oh, well, the thing that— the weird thing is that Sierra Alandria stole her best friend's boyfriend. Yeah, she's not dead off the island for 30 seconds and Alandra's kissing him.

I was thinking about the other day how Nick had a girlfriend— not even how he moved with Alandra, how what he did to Sierra. Like, isn't she had to go home? I understand, and he needs to explore, and he's still on the show, and you've got to look out for number one. I came here for myself and my career, my love life, and you're not here anymore. Like, bye, sorry. That he came home and he never spoke to her again, never checked in on her. It's insane. It's so disgusting.

Yeah, he's a real piece of shit.

He's such a piece of shit. Yeah, and that's not what I want for Alandra, aside from all the other Nicole. Aside from the fact that it's fake, aside from all the other Nicelandra issues, like, that is such poor behavior.

Yeah, no, I completely agree. He doesn't get enough hate for that.

No, he doesn't get enough hate for that.

Really needs to break up with him because, like, I've always known it was a fraud, but, like, I understood why. There's no reason now. There's no need for it. He's so holding her back, and, like, it's time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It is really crazy when you think about the Sierra of it all. Um, so it'll be interesting to see who, like, has that breakout moment.

Um, it will be Trinity. Sorry.

Oh really? People think it's gonna be Anaya?

Oh, I guess like Anaya is very beloved.

No, she got the edit. Like, yeah, they just chose her because what's— she's really— she didn't really have a large impact on the season in terms of like—

no. And like by bringing back Karl, like it was just so heavy.

Like it was, it was so unfair.

It would never do that for anyone else.

No, that's what I'm saying. She got chosen. Yeah, they like have stock in Anaya. Anaya.

Yeah, that. And then also, oh, people were saying that even the way that you had to vote for the 4 finalists, like, was in a way, like, meant to help Anaya because, like, you have to vote for 4. Everyone's core 4, all, like, the Twitter all season long was like, core 4 and final, core 4 and final. So when you have to vote for 4, like, you think of those 4.

And I think in seasons past they've had it be like, vote for your favorite couple. So it's like whoever had the most votes, the second most votes, the third most votes, and the fourth most votes. Um, yeah, no, that's actually a good point. Yeah, it was like rigged for Anaya.

And also, like, that helps Melanie and Sincere. Better.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This was such a bad season, and I know that they lost a producer and it was a poorly produced show, so like that feels right, but it was just like bad people.

And then the last challenge that we skipped—

oh, we skipped the fish and stuff. That was fucking disgusting.

What was the point? If you're not gonna give me a challenge where people are like tempted to like step out on their couples, like I don't want to watch your porn show then.

Yeah, skipped right through that. Didn't even watch a minute of it.

Once we saw the description, I saw like clips of it, it's just like so degrading and like humiliating. Everything on these shows is humiliation ritual. It's like really upsetting.

Yeah.

So in that regard, like, these people deserve all of the fame and everything that's coming their way.

They have like literally been humiliated.

I stand by the fact any brand that works with him, like, I am boycotting. Yeah, I'll do it silently. I'm not like a big like public boycotter, but like, that's That's your brand.

I can't stand him.

I can't. Yeah.

And by the way, when they had the date and there was one massage table and they rock-paper-scissors— was she gonna rub his back if she lost? Like, no, no, you're kidding. No, it's insane. He's— I can't believe, like, like, that's— first of all, Melanie, when they walked in the villa, like, was definitely one of the prettiest girls in the villa.

Yeah.

He is like so nothing. Personality looks like there's nothing even remotely outstanding or charming about him. It's like, that's who is like treating you so toxic? Like, that's who you're stuck in the cycle with? Like, what does he offer? Yeah, he doesn't talk good. Epitome, his analogy is insufferable. No, it's like, what is it? She keeps saying the connection. Like, what? I could see something positive in all the guys. Like, you have a good sense of humor, um, you're very caring. Like, what is it about Sincere? He's not very caring. He wanted to get the back massage. He was complaining when he had to get her that juice 3 times.

No, and honestly, their date was actually pretty nice, like, yeah, compared to Kaden's. Of course. To like sit in the hot sun, like not a lick of shade.

I know. And also like, talk about humiliation ritual, putting them in that speedboat that's ripping you with water when you've just gotten dressed up for a date. Yeah, done your hair.

There wasn't an umbrella. I can't get over— no shade, no sunglasses, no hat. Yeah, that was sitting—

we knew they were coming in fourth when we saw that.

In direct sun. I like— I could never. Yeah.

And I guess they have to space out the dates, so like someone's gonna get a day date Yeah, and someone's gonna get a night date, and like, we can read into it. I'm sorry, like, a night date is just always better.

Um, I don't know, but like, Huda and Chris got a night date.

So true. But that's because like we knew something was gonna happen. They were like, they were bubbling over, so like, let's make it party, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

And like, it was— you did come out of left field that they broke up on their final date. Like, there was, there was a lot going on.

Yeah, there was a lot.

But they didn't do the babies this year.

Thank God.

Thank God. That's like offensive to women.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't, I don't want to listen to like crying babies.

Yeah, I could do that at home.

Oh my God, like if you see us just radiating with joy and positivity, I know, it's like I'm capable of watching 7 hours of television a week apparently.

I'm going to be a little bit more discerning about what I'm going to watch.

So like what should we watch next?

That's maybe 1 hour a week.

Like what's everyone watching now? Yeah, I don't know cuz I've been in a Love Island tunnel, but like, let us know. And don't say Survivor. I see a lot of people being like, you guys need to watch Survivor.

I just feel like we missed—

like, I, I just feel like we don't.

It's been on for 2 decades. Like, if we didn't watch now, like, we can't start now.

I'm not starting Survivor.

No, no, I wasn't suggesting that.

No, but I see people like write that sometimes. I'm like, it's not going to happen. So yeah, I don't even know what else is on TV right now. Let us know. And like reality shows, we can watch like non-fiction whenever we want. At her own disposal. Um, okay, so that is your final Love Island recap in perpetuity until further notice. Yes. Next story: Phoebe Gates, Bill Gates's heir's shopping app claims sales that it didn't drive. So Bloomberg has issued a report about Phoebe Gates. She is the daughter of Bill Gates. She has an app called a tech startup Thea. We reported a couple weeks ago, like 30 plus—

they did a whole round of investing in it, and only celebrities, influencers, and like famous people were allowed to invest. And it was like everyone you've ever heard of, from Alex Earle to Mindy Kaling. Like, they covered sports, they covered fashion, like everyone. And the premise of the app is basically what—

it's like a browser extension that finds the best price for like—

right, so you'll go on like H&M being like, I like this shirt, but I wonder if they sell it anywhere for cheaper. You click their browser extension and they'll show you like dupes or schmoops or whatever. And And I feel like things like that already exist. I don't know why they need like a whole new app for it, but whatever, especially with like ChatGPT. But it is, it's AI, right? They use AI. So it was like, you know, female founder, daughter of Sophia. Like, it was so hyped up. I think the tech space was probably like—

her founder, co-founder's name Sophia, and her name's Phoebe. That's why it's a little confusing. And it's called FIA because they're both— but that's why you keep calling her Sophia.

Got it. Well, report comes out, basically they've been like fudging all their numbers. So basically what it was supposed to be was that if you download their browser extension, you use it, and then you end up buying something that they suggested they'll get a commission. Great. But you know when you like pop up, open your computer, it says accept cookies, everybody just press accept? What that did was their thing implanted a cookie on people's computers so that like literally anytime they were on that website in the future, they were getting commission. Fia was getting commission for all these sales that they had nothing to do with. That's like stealing. It's fraud.

And they're like claiming that, that they—

so it's a part of their revenue, it's a part of their stats, and then they're getting commission from brands that like they didn't earn that commission. Commission.

Yeah, that's insane. Yeah, so they've been allegedly, uh, they've been wrongfully claiming credit for online sales they didn't drive. Bloomberg, Capital One Shopping, and an independent researcher tested the app and discovered that FIA silently opens a background tab and links its own affiliate code, allowing it to wrongfully claim commission on sales. A FIA spokesperson acknowledged the violation, stating that it has now been fixed. Now I saw this, like, oh, they're claiming sales that they didn't get, and like everyone, everyone fudges things they didn't get. I didn't really know that they like, you know, getting paid for things that they didn't necessarily get. Um, but people are like comparing it to— they're calling this fraud. They're like saying like it's like Elizabeth Holmes, like the whole thing is over, like that this is sort of like the end of FIA.

I don't know if there was really a beginning to FIA. Like, is anyone using this app browser extension? I'm surprised that like there was enough users to like even figure this out, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, but I guess like when we were talking about it a few weeks ago, like we had said, you know, they have this many users and that was probably a false number.

Right, right.

On like this level, now we can't believe any of their numbers.

Yeah, this is so crazy because it's something you have to intentionally like code into your thing. Like, yeah, it's not like, oh, we accidentally— no, it's like you decided to do this.

Yeah. Also, I saw someone saying, it's like, you can just like be a nepo baby and like enjoy your wealth and chill out.

Like, well, you know, he like doesn't give his kids money.

No, I think he gives them like 1% of his net worth, which is still like more money than most people ever see. Yeah, like you don't have to do all this. I know, especially if it's like not an original idea and you're having to like steal and claim sales that you didn't make. Like, you don't have to do it. I know, just have fun. Like, go to South of France. I know, spend the money.

I said this a million times, like, if I'm Sophia Hebe Gates, like, we're just acting different.

We're never gonna see you again.

Never.

We're never gonna— you're not also gonna have a podcast where you talk about how hard you work at your startup.

Well, so You know, one thing about Alex Cooper, she kind of stays winning. Like, because this is like a huge stain.

Do you think she knew about the cookies?

I don't think she knew that like the whole thing was fraudulent. I think that like Unwell canceled their show because like we were carrying the show that 3 people are listening. It costs a lot of money to produce a podcast.

You think they canceled their show?

I think that they didn't renew it. You think?

Yeah, I don't think—

Unwell can only carry like so many flops.

Like, why not carry Phoebe Gates' flops? Like, why alienate Bill Gates?

Because I don't think like being in bed with Bill Gates like does anything for Alex Cooper. And like, I don't know, at least all the other shows on Unwell, while nobody listens to them, like they do have social cachet.

This has social cachet.

I'm sorry, it doesn't. They had Kris Jenner on their show and the clip didn't get more than 3 likes. Like, I'm sorry, it doesn't.

That show has as much social cachet as any show that they have.

The Vanity Fair article did allude to like there also being drama for sure, because like Unwell said we didn't renew it. Phoebe said—

well, Unwell loves to say that. They said, they said they dropped Alex Earle. Yeah, yeah, they're always gonna like act like it's their idea.

I also have to say like, I just don't Alex Cooper could have taken one more thing this year, and so it's— she dodged Sofia.

But I do think, in just like thinking about the board, that they are— they left with their podcast.

Well, they said that their podcast— they told Vanity Fair that they were still shopping it around. So like, yeah, they want to continue to do it. I hope they'll cover this in episode 1 of season 2.

Of what?

Of the burnouts. Our big fraud. Oops, we made a fraud part 1.

Oops, We Made a Fraud.

Yeah, I love that for a title.

I just wonder if the app's like still going to go on now. Like, you know, this could just be the thing, like, you know, that moment for her where she's good or bad, like a defining moment where you rise from the ashes.

Like, what ashes?

This is probably like the worst day she's ever had.

Well, that's true, you know.

And like, let's see what she's made of. Like, maybe she's like, no, we didn't drop that cookie on people's—

but we're being like, we're friends.

Or like like, you know, it was a glitch. Like, maybe they were not dropping cookies on purpose.

I never drop a cookie on purpose. I never drop a cookie on purpose. So like, maybe she could say a lot of things. I mean, I never talk—

maybe she's completely misunderstood. Like, maybe she's been operating her business in earnest. Like, maybe it was like she's been framed with a cookie, or like just something— she's had a low moment in her business. What will she do next?

Probably get some more celebrity investors. Investors.

Do you think— you think what's the celebrity investor going to fix their cookie?

They could help like pick up the cookies that they dropped. I— that would be a good investor for that.

I don't know, I just— I feel like don't count out Phoebe Gates.

Like, she's never—

she didn't come this far to just come this far to be like wiped out by a cookie, by a Bloomberg report.

Like, somebody at Bloomberg hates— this is such a random— like, they did the investigation.

Like, and honestly, like, Bill Gates should have them killed.

1,000%. It's just that Bill Gates called fellow billionaire Mike Bloomberg and said, what fresh hell is this? Yeah, because Bloomberg is like low-key owned.

It's very brave. And the independent researcher like is named in this like little blurb I'm reading.

If he dies, it was Gates.

It's, it's very brave.

I want them to know it was me.

That's literally my tell, Cersei, it was me.

I just watched that scene on TikTok. It's so— she takes it and she's like, it must have been time for you to see your boy.

So good.

Tell Cersei I wanted to know it was me. Iconic. Yeah. Oh, all right, well, just— we are the leading news source on all things FIA, so we will keep you updated.

I know, I just want to say, like, as much as, like, Elizabeth Holmes, like, goodbye fraud.

Like, this is the classic Forbes 30 Under 30 pipeline to jail, right?

Goodbye fraud. I also want to say it's an—

hello Phoenix rising from the ashes.

I'm just trying to say it's an opportunity for her to be great. Like, are you really great?

Feels— what are you made of? We're going to see.

And I feel like based on everything she says, like, this is just a bump in the road.

Yeah, she is like one of those like toxic girl boss CEOs, founders.

She will not go down this easily.

Well, I know another fashion CEO founder who maybe could help with this.

Who?

Daniela Oliveira.

That's true. They should, they should merge.

M&A.

Mm-hmm.

Acquire, uh, Dawn.

So we'll see what happens.

Yes, we will.

Our next story: newlyweds Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce look ultra glam at Juju Smith-Schuster's wedding one week after their own wedding at Madison Square Garden.

I did not think we were gonna see her IRL before we got a picture from the wedding. Like, they— there have been reports saying, like, confirmed, she's gonna share with us, like, like in due time.

Kylie said that too, right?

Sort of. Kylie— oh, Kylie Kelsey. I'm like, Kylie Jenner was there?

I didn't— yelled at everyone.

She was going to attend another event and get photographed. Like, I did not think all these things were going to happen before we ever got a photo.

Well, thank you to Juju Smith-Schuster. Truly planned their wedding like right after Travis and Kelsey, so forcing them like out of their—

Travis and Kelsey—

forcing them out of their—

out of their newlywed bubble.

I think they were—

I heard they were in Montana. Yeah.

And they were forced out.

Jordan and and Kylie. I heard Kylie was yelling at everyone.

Jordan—

what's his name? Jason. Yeah, I heard reports from the staff like she was yelling at everyone.

I like— and then she was not gonna lie.

No, no, she would never. Do you think Taylor will ever go on Not Gonna Lie?

No.

Me neither.

No, no. I think like from here to 4, she will only be going on New Heights. Yeah. When wanting to go on—

when needing to. Yeah, yeah. So she looks really pretty.

It's cute that the four of them were together though. Like, I'm not gonna lie, actually not gonna lie.

Yeah, like, to— you must really like your brother and sister-in-law to like spend the week after your wedding because that's just sort of— if you want to be alone, you absolutely are well within your rights. Yeah, so to be with them, that's like really cute. They spend a lot of time in Montana.

Yeah, it's beautiful.

If they have like a house there, it's beautiful this time of year. Beautiful.

Um, and then she was looking gorgeous.

Gorgeous. Carolina Herrera.

She was Marcarian, whatever, same thing, a $4,000 floral brocade gown.

So gorgeous, looking beautiful.

And I do feel like the silhouette is maybe like a nod to a silhouette she's been feeling recently.

So it was strapless, like princess ball gown.

I think that's what she wore.

Like, she's very like traditional, corny, chewy, like, and like the, the, the—

it looks good on her. Yeah, you know, it always has. Yes, it's like, that's her. Yeah, she's our princess. Us.

I can't believe we still haven't seen a photo. Like, it's kind of annoying. Yeah, like, if she's not going to show us at all, I would respect your privacy. If you are, like, just please be conscious of people's time.

Yeah, we're like doing a show here and like—

yeah, like we're sort of grasping at straws.

We'd love to like close the loop.

Yeah, of course. And just like, I've been thinking about your wedding, talking about it so much, like I need to visualize it just for my own well-being.

So you've been so excited for it and now you want to know how it feels?

Exactly. That's why we have Taylor built.

Yeah, and I'm sure the place looked great.

Oh, it always does.

It doesn't always. No, Madison Square Garden, Penn Station doesn't always look great.

It's insane that she got married in Penn Station.

It is, it is.

Like, do you know how many people get killed at Penn Station on an annual basis? Like 4 and a half.

Oh really? Is that the statistic?

I just made it up, but it feels right. Let's ask chat.

Especially that half.

Yeah, but you know, statistics are always like half, half a person.

Well, if last year it was 6 and this year where it's statistically how many people die at Penn Station every year. If it was 6 and then 3, like, there's 4 and a half.

I don't know if there even was like a report done to get the stat, you know? Yeah, it's not a reliable statistic for how many because no agency publishes a death count specific to this station. That said, natural deaths may occur in Penn Station. Well, natural accidents and homicides.

Homicides. I'm interested in the homicides.

Natural deaths can occur to anyone, but they're saying all deaths, probably between 10 and 30. But that includes natural causes. Like, if you just happen to die on the train, like, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about murder, you know, crime. Yeah, things of that nature.

You should do the report.

Yes, I love that.

Are you ready for our next story?

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Thank you, return.

You're welcome. Just move on. Next story.

Um, our next story is some exciting news. Rihanna surprised fans with her first concert performance in years at a Jay-Z concert. Concert.

I didn't know Jay-Z was like putting on concerts, and then like 3 in a row at Yankee Stadium. I thought he was more of like a businessman now.

And Eminem was there the night before. Okay. And a lot of special guests were— Beyoncé was there.

There's like a lot of rumors about Jay-Z and Rihanna.

Yeah, from a long time ago.

But good to know like that they're all good now.

She's a mother of 3. She's, you know, just such a queen in a different place.

But she surprised fans by hitting the stage to perform Gonna Run This Town tonight. Hey, it's insane how many like good iconic songs she has I don't even think of her as a singer anymore. Yeah, she's just like a famous mom businesswoman.

She's just a legend.

She is legendary.

Like, we have a couple legends among us.

Speaking of dairy, you were telling me that allegedly Paige Rance got married this weekend.

Well, that's just my, my feeling because she posted before the weekend her nails and she said wedding nails. And you don't get your nails done like so far out, right? And, and this was a weekend. Yeah, she obviously would get married on a weekend. And so I feel like she got married.

That's like a wedding picture. I'm really like waiting to see.

That would also explain I mean, like, why Tommy wasn't in Wimbledon. Oh yeah, but if he like were planning to go to Wimbledon, like, they would have got married differently.

Yeah, they could schedule— athletes always schedule like their weddings.

Why would you like it? Like, so that's just like, I don't understand that. But yeah, that was just a hunch I had. Like, I feel like, yeah, good hunch. I would love— I will—

I would love to see pictures. Vogue exclusive, for sure.

Oh, for sure. It's gonna be part—

she's so sick.

Yeah, she really is.

Like, she makes me wish I was skinny, you know? Like, if I was, I would dress— I would just like do my makeup like her. I would dress like her.

She's doing skinny and beautiful so right.

After I have all my children, like, obviously get like my Brazilian butt lift liposuction, my stomach, my breast lift, and like a new face, like I will be following the tutorials. Like I will be like buying all the links. Until then, like I'm just like, I'm just like sort of waiting in the wings, you know?

Right.

But when the time comes, like that's my inspo. Thinspo.

Thinspo. That's beautiful.

She's doing Pretty and Skinny, right?

That's a perfect way of saying it. Some people like don't.

No, because like you get so easy to rest on your laurels when you're naturally pretty and skinny.

Yeah, but like you could be pretty and skinny and just like can't get your style right, your vibes right.

Or like, you don't wear makeup because you're pretty and skinny. It's like, sure, but like, you can also enhance.

Yeah.

Or you've always been pretty and skinny, so you never learn how to do your hair right, and now you have like a rat's nest on top of your head.

Yeah, but she does it right.

No, and that will not be me when I'm pretty and skinny.

Yeah, well, you have beautiful hair.

Yeah, I know, because, because I was like so fat for so long, like, I'm sick at my glam.

Yeah, you are sick at your glam. Yeah. Uh, well, Rihanna, another legend um, sang with Jay-Z.

It was crazy to see her sing, do you know what I mean? I was like, I didn't know this businesswoman sang.

I know, but she did like perform at the Super Bowl recently.

I know, I know, it's true. But it was also a Fenty ad, you know?

Yeah, it's like very nice of her that she did that.

People don't talk enough about the fact that like she performed at the Super Bowl 5 months pregnant. Like, that's insane.

I know, it is insane.

She doesn't get enough credit for that. No, because when people talk about Rihanna, they do talk about like so many things. They don't talk about about that.

I know, I like couldn't believe it. I was pregnant too when she was performing, and I remember— and like, we're on the same schedule, you and her. Yeah, yeah, like the— like, we've been— all three pregnancies have been at the same time. And when she was performing, and like, I didn't get the clue that she was pregnant. And like, she had her like belly. I thought that was just how she was dressing. And people that I were with were like, is she pregnant? I'm like, don't be fucking rude.

No, but she was. It was like very obvious. And like, I like how she had to clarify, be like, yeah, I revealed it to you guys, why are you asking questions? People are so fucking afraid afraid. She was like, no, no, I literally wore—

no, but like, she, she could have—

she just wasn't huge.

She wasn't huge.

She could have had a little belly.

Yeah, like she just had a baby.

Yeah, right.

And she—

are we commenting on women's bodies?

She had just had a baby, so that could just— she might have just been like making a statement on like postpartum bodies. Why can't I wear my belly out too? Correct, correct.

But it was like, no, it was a different kind of belly.

That's why I was like, don't be rude.

You guys are disgusting.

Yeah, you guys are disgusting. Yeah, she literally had to spell it out for me.

Yeah, for everyone.

I'm pregnant. I'm like, so am I.

That's beautiful.

Here we go again. I actually saw a fake rumor. I was gonna say, you said the other day that Rihanna was I saw like a fake Instagram that Rihanna was pregnant, and I was like, oh no, it's time, it's time, Zach, get in here.

It's time. Literally.

No, she cannot be pregnant.

No, no, because like, what does that mean for you?

Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

You have time.

Yeah, yeah. Um, okay, so cute. Like, congrats to the—

to the things I didn't know were happening.

Yeah, yeah. Our fifth and final story is hysterical news. Victoria Beckham has become a meme after failing to act as Jude Bellingham scores against Norway during England's World Cup.

Yeah, but did Norway lose? I'm sorry, did the UK like ended up losing, right?

Oh, I wouldn't know such things.

Okay, let me just triple check because who did I say was gonna win?

Oh, who did I say? I think I said Spain and Argentina. That's what I said. Okay, sounds like I'm still in. Oh no, England won.

Norway, like my boyfriend with the Birkins, he lost.

I'm sorry. Yeah, well, I'm happy for Victoria Beckham even though she doesn't give a rip. I'm happy for the Beckham.

And they're playing Argentina Argentina. Messi. That's gonna be messy.

Spain still in?

Yeah, they're in the semifinals tomorrow. Oh, they're playing France.

I'm on track. I have Spain, Argentina.

What comes after semifinals? Finals or quarterfinals? Oh no, wait, the quarterfinals already happened. So semi— so okay, so France, Spain, England, and Argentina. Argentina. Who did we say was gonna be.

I said Spain and Argentina.

It could be. I think I said two teams who are already out, Morocco.

Like, two teams who played each other in the semi-finals.

Ugh, like, I wish I cared. I really want to get into it. It's just like low-key so boring.

Well, this was really cute. So the whole Beckham family, except for like those two rats, were watching the game together.

I learned some stuff about Jude Bellingham.

I like him. And David and the boys were—

except for the rat. Yeah, you could say that again. And he also didn't go to Harper's birthday party.

He didn't go surfer's 15th birthday party.

The way I fucking hate this guy.

Like, if you find yourself at a place in your life where you're snubbing a 15-year-old— snubbing a 15th birthday party of your sister— you're wrong.

A thousand percent, you're wrong. Yep.

If you're using a 15-year-old's birthday party to like make a statement in any way, even if you're like using the, the invites for the 15th birthday party to like slander people, you're wrong.

I love Victoria Beckham. This photo is so funny.

It's so funny. So, uh, Vox erupted when people are— David, the son, he's midair, everyone, veins popping out.

She's sitting down with her hairstylist, she's not even smiling, they're like caught up in convo. Like, I don't even think she knows the goal happened. Yeah, she's such a queen.

And, uh, yes, she was not particularly impressed. So of course she's gone viral. People are saying she's the greatest English woman who ever existed. I would say though.

Oh, absolutely. She is like—

moments like this are so great for her because it's like, it just reaffirms she is who she is. And it's like, she's famous and she is that person like for a reason. And it's like, even in the most like buzziest environment where you can't help but get swept up into shit that you actually don't even care about— we know she, she said like she doesn't care much for soccer, football, um, but like, you can't fake this sort of indifference.

And then it makes those moments where they did their documentary, like, that's why it was so well received, because like it was the first time ever she was just sort sort of like very light. People saw sort of like a silly jokey side. Yeah, my dad drove me to school in a Bentley. Like, that's why those documentaries were so good for them. But yes, she is who she is, and I think for a while she got like a shit for it. Like, the headlines were like very tabloidy, like Ice Queen. And now it's like, that's what's so iconic about it.

It's iconic.

Yeah, I fucking love her.

And you really could not put this on.

No.

And then, not that anyone thinks that she does, but someone else could be like, oh, I want to like have a vibe like that.

Yeah.

And it would just be like phony.

It is who she is.

Yeah.

Ugh, I fucking hate that kid. It's insane that like these two people who I adore— like, I could not love David Beckham my Jewish king. Like, I could not love him anymore. Victoria, she raised us. It's insane that, like, their firstborn is a piece of shit.

No, and it makes me, like, so sad that these, like, two people in this family that I love are clearly so family, always together. Pain. Yeah, that is so painful.

Although, and maybe this is just, like, the face that they put on, and behind closed doors they're sobbing every day, I do feel like they are pretty light about it. They're like, every time they were asked about it, they're like, you know, he's just a kid, like, he's working or like they didn't seem terribly worried, like he'll come back to us. Yeah, maybe that's just a front.

They definitely like— they're not going to tell us their innermost feelings. They're not like Brooklyn. Um, but regardless, like on its face, that's so painful. Like your firstborn son is awful out of the family and he's making fun of you in the public eye, trashing you guys, and like sharing intimate family moments like the dance at the wedding.

Like, and he knows how like the public and the media have like really been a sort of a thorn in the side of his parents, and, and it's been this, you know, wonderful thing, but also this deeply painful thing. And to know all that and like to have been there for it, and then to use the public like against— piece of shit. They need a new word. It's offensive to turds to call Brooklyn Beckham a piece of shit.

Yeah, to my people. And honestly, I can't help but think of Harry and Meghan, who like did the same thing on a bigger scale when they were older. Brooklyn is younger.

Yeah, so you can excuse a lot of poor behavior. Um, by the way, speaking of, they went—

I saw that was going to be part of the story, but it didn't make the cut. They brought the kids to see Charles and Camilla at like the vacation house, Sandringham, one of them.

Yeah, no photos, which I know killed them because they just like— they go for the image. And to be— what the hell do these people have to talk about? Kate and William were not there.

Yeah.

Oh, but Kate was at Wimbledon sitting next to who? Julia from The Real Housewives of Miami. That was insane. It's literally Kate, Martina, never to Lova, Julia from Real Housewives of Miami. Like, that's such a slay.

It is.

It's huge for Bravo. When I saw the video, I'm like, that Julia—

no, Martina is a legend.

And everyone keeps saying that.

You always say I do.

I don't know why it doesn't penetrate for me. Like, she is a legend.

Yeah, yeah. And like, when they bring her like around the husbands, like everyone just wants to talk to Martina.

Yeah, they're not on anymore and this show got like paused, right?

Right.

But that was a really good casting for Bravo. Yeah, it was like the first lesbian and of of course, like, huge name athlete. Yeah. And then Julia has like this insane background with like the Russian oligarchs, remember that? Yeah, it was a good casting.

Yeah. Um, but yes, they did go see Charles and Camilla. They took time away from there. They were vacationing in Europe.

It's probably crazy for them because like they come to America, we're like, we know nothing about royals. We're like, they're the Duchess. And like they keep the name even though it's been stripped from them, and everything they do is Duchess, Duchess. It must be like humiliating to like go like a king's house and they're like this fake Duchess. Like, they don't honor their title in the UK because they actually follow the rules. In America, we're like Duchess, but like, you're in a king's house and Meghan's like, hi, I'm the Duchess of Sussex. It's like, okay.

No, also, I was just reading an article about like Harry's legal loss is like really bad for him. I think also if he had won, he probably would have won money, um, but instead like they're gonna be on the hook for legal fees now.

He's like, right, and a settlement. Like, he would have gotten a settlement and his legal fees covered.

Yeah, so like, I think it's like $20 million that has to be covered. Now, he sued like with Elton John and Elizabeth—

collective—

and like, who knows, he probably has a piece of the pie— who will pay for it. But it's like their earning power is almost down to zero now. Like, it's actually a joke. And like, they have high expenses. This article said they have two mortgages on their house.

Oh my God.

Yeah, and they have like $3 million a year in security.

And like, of course, no, their lifestyle is expensive.

They're vacationing right now in Portugal.

Yeah, they have a lot of, I think, wealthy friends. And like, a lot of that, like the vacations— like, remember they stayed at Tyler Perry's?

You get a free vacation, you get a Vacation, but rent, mortgage—

sorry, you can't rely on a friend for that.

No, can't phone a friend. Like, I, I don't know how— like, they'll be fine for like the next few years, and he has like Diana's money, that's like what's been fueling him. But like, long term, they need to downsize.

Yeah, they could try Beverly Hills over Montecito. Like, Montecito is like the most expensive zip code in the entire world.

Maybe they got a good mortgage rate.

Oh, did they get a COVID house?

I feel like— yeah, they left in 2020. We're locked in. Well, that's a good house to be locked in at.

Yeah, of course. But if you also have a second mortgage, how does that work with your COVID rate? I feel like they don't honor the original rate.

But do you have one mortgage with a good rate and one mortgage with a bad rate?

So it's basically just like one bad rate, like one bad mortgage.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know, it was like— the article was like very concerning financially.

Yeah, I never mean Biermans. I mean, that's how I used to feel.

They got a lot of money at one point. I just hope that they like save some of it, like $20 million from Netflix.

2020, you run through that so quickly when you're nut a month for just like your house, your kids, your security, everything. I feel like they run it like a million dollars a month.

Yeah, 20 mil is nice for a year, but like, I don't know what more— how— what she can like really squeeze out.

They fly private. I've never seen them like paparazzi du mois on a, on a commercial flight.

Like, what can she even sell to us at this point?

I don't know.

And who would invest in her? Like, I think Netflix was like, all this like jam sitting— yeah, in a warehouse.

House in Van Nuys.

They have like 2 movies that are like not— that are in pre-production. Like, what can they even do? Who would want to like invest?

I did think that like the With Love, Megan channel like was a good— I like a good route to take. They should have just done it at first, not at last, and they shouldn't have launched a brand with it immediately. It's like, well, you're not a trusted source in the space yet. Like, why would I buy your jams and your aprons? Like, give me a couple of seasons, dazzle me with your show.

But they couldn't do it at first because when they left, they said they wanted privacy. So then you can't open up your home and like show us—

well, therein lies the whole issue, right?

So I think they thought we would forget about the plea for privacy.

One thing about us, we never forget.

Yeah, ever. I don't know, that just like made me worried for them.

Well, that is our show. I feel caught up. I feel good. Like, sorry for missing Friday's episode. Try not to get migraine again ever, hopefully, but especially this week. And that's our show. I hope you guys enjoyed the final Love Island recap ever. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast on the Late Night Morning Show. We deliver the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcast on our podcast, we found that Spotify, TuneIn, Stitcher, public radio, all the places with the podcast about us, socially, 5-star review, beautiful setting, weekly towns we are. Hope you guys have an amazing day and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya, bye!