Transcript of Trump Exhibits Alarming Behavior at Mar-a-Lago Following Election Loss

So Donald Trump arrived last night at Mar-a-Lago, his face was some sort of color of bright orange, he looked like death, he looked so sickly, and he was ranting and raving on the tarmac before heading and arriving to Mar-a-Lago, and Donald Trump was like, "This wasn't my election, I wasn't on the ballot," and look at his bright orange face, he looks like he's rotting orange mush in front of our faces. Here, play this clip.

No, nothing goods of the election. It's just time. Sometimes you change. Uh, the election wasn't my election, I wasn't on the ballot. If I was on the ballot, you saw the rallies. They were the biggest, most powerful rallies in the history of midterm elections. We were—every arena was full, and we had thousands and thousands of people outside that couldn't get in. We had to use the big televisions, Jumbotrons.

Then Donald Trump said, "And with Iran, we're occupiers. This isn't a war, we're the occupiers." We're the occupiers? The hell are you talking about? You war criminal? Here, play this clip.

Coming up with Xi Jinping—

That's—that's called a war. Not a world where you go six months and nobody's even wounded. All we are is, uh, maybe an occupier. Could be an occupier. Because, you know, we do, we control the Paramount Stream. We're taking out more oil now.

Then Donald Trump's like, "Alright, we've got a lot of meetings taking place at Mar-a-Lago, we've got a lot going on there, we're going to talk about, like, Russia and Ukraine, and we're going to do a deal, and we're going to do a deal, and we're going to do a deal, and there's going to be so many deals." He is absolutely having a mental breakdown. Good rot. Here, play this clip.

Meetings set up at Mar-a-Lago with a lot of different people, having to do with Russia and having to do with other things. The economy is incredible, other than we lost about $3 trillion when they found out that the Democrats did well in the election.

So actually, let's see what was going on at Mar-a-Lago. Well, at Mar-a-Lago, Donald Trump's new chief of staff, Steven Miller, took some bizarre, like, MAGA cult vow. It was like a—like a MAGA wedding when you become the chief of staff. You have to—I kid you not. I swear to you, I pledge to you, Mr. President, my absolute loyalty, my life, my unwavering love, until death do us part. Watch what he says. This is part of their cult initiation ritual.

And I swear to you, and I pledge to you, Mr. President, my absolute loyalty, my unwavering commitment, and my total devotion to your success and the success of this country. Thank you, President Trump.

And then Donald Trump started to speak at Mar-a-Lago, where all the meetings are taking place, and you want to predict what Donald Trump said at Mar-a-Lago? He goes, "I wasn't on the ballot. I wasn't on the ballot." And he's next to that guy—what's that guy's name from CPAC? Because they were doing the CPAC in Mar-a-Lago? Schlapp? The guy who was accused of grabbing the men's crotches? Remember that story? The crotch grabber allegations? Remember all of that? He's with his wife, Mercedes Schlapp. Schlapp. The slappers. The crotchy slapper.

I was not on the ballot. Please remember that. Because we gave 30 rallies in 26 nights, and nobody's ever seen anything like it, and the love of those rallies was unbelievable. But, you know, we, uh, did something that was a little risky, I guess, but it was certainly the right thing, historically the right thing to do for history. Because you wouldn't have Israel right now, you wouldn't have the Middle East if we didn't get rid of the nuclear weapon from Iran. So we did something that was a little—a little different.

And talk about the weird cult. Kimberly Guilfoyle was at Mar-a-Lago, Donald Trump Jr.'s ex-fiancée who was kicked out of Greece after being, like, the worst ambassador and getting involved in all the corruption scandals there. She's now at this event in Mar-a-Lago with, like, paintings of each other. What in the weird freaking cult is this? Why are these people so damn weird? Donald Trump, though, outside in Mar-a-Lago, all of the meetings taking place.

We beat them up pretty good. We have more oil coming out of the Paramount Street now than we did prior to this war. But you can't really call it a war, because a war is like Russia-Ukraine. They lose 25,000 people a month. We haven't lost one person in six months. That's not a war. That's a minor military operation. But we—we literally, uh, if we didn't do that, you wouldn't have Israel existing right now, and you wouldn't have the Middle East. They would have used a nuclear weapon.

You know what CENTCOM is doing? Who's supposed to be running the war? You know what Donald Trump has turned CENTCOM into? And that loser, Admiral Brad Cooper? That admiral who has the podcaster about his freakin' French fries? Remember Admiral Brad Cooper? I showed you his podcast. He started a CENTCOM podcast where he talks about—guy talks about eating French fries and how if he wasn't in CENTCOM, he would just want to be on the beach, drinking beer all day. Well, you're the CENTCOM commander. Why are you saying these things?

With them now. They want to make a deal very badly. They have 300% inflation. Their navy's gone. Their airport—everything's gone. And they want to make a deal. So we'll see if they make a deal.

Then he says on the Ukraine war, Russia and Ukraine, they really want to settle. They really absolutely want to settle. Let's play it.

Conversations you're having with Russia? Does anything feel different this time? Is there anything you're doing?

Russia and Ukraine, for the first time, I think, want to settle. We have meetings. I've had phone calls today. I'm having some tomorrow. They're having a meeting on Monday and Tuesdays, you know? But they—I think they want to settle.

Mr. Paul, do you have any—

I think it's going to be a very big settlement. I think it's going to involve all of Europe. It's going to be a very big settlement.

And he goes, "But it's not even a real war. It's not—it's not World War I was a real war. What we're doing isn't even a real war to begin with," he says. We're not fighting in Iran. We're just—we're just chilling. It ain't really a fight. This is like a chill. This is like a Netflix and chill in Hormuz. Like, we take the aircraft carriers, we do some memes, I say the word "deal," we're not doing real war. We're just, like, we're doing, like, Dungeons and Dragons, okay? That's what the United—the proud United States military, CENTCOM, the navy, we're just a bunch of, like, uh, like a bunch of actors.