Transcript of Best Of: Spooky Behavior

Once you have your sheets, it's time to make sure you have all your bedside accouchements: fresh cat's milk, whiskey, and a cabinet full of lucky bones and hair to keep the night terrors away. On this episode of the Commercial Break. Hi. It's your favorite best of episode creator, Christina, here with our last episode of the week. I hope you've been enjoying this little rewind, but I know we're all looking forward to some brand new episodes, too. I definitely am because it means less talking for me. Since I've taken this last week to address some of our TCB show, Lore, and also its spooky season, I thought it simply wouldn't be complete without, you guessed it, Mountain Monsters. Huck, Buck, Willy and Billy Cowboys, take me away. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Now, finally, I'm going to announce to you something that probably has no suspense whatsoever. We're going to do a Mountain Monsters episode. The Moth Man has been requested by the Cadenman himself. The Moth Man. The Moth Man. He says he got to do this episode, Brian. It's one of our favorites. I love it. I said, You know what?

Why not give the kids what they want? Plus, it's good content for the show. It's a content idea. I was missing Mountain Monsters, actually. I was, too. I think it's been months since we've done a Mountain Monsters. We did a Frankie B on our 500th because of course, Frankie D. But then Mountain Monsters also does play some smaller but just as important part, I think, in our show. In the lure. In the lure. That is gives you something to listen to besides us. That's funny. You know what I'm saying? So here is the Mothman episode. They are chasing the Mothman, which I have no idea what it is. Haven't watched the video yet. First time, I'm a virgin, you're a virgin. Everybody's a virgin here. We're all going to go in hard. We're going to go in raw dogging, Mountain Monsters, Mothman. Here we go. Night one investigation. Hold up, guys. Hold up. We're in Mason County. We're looking for a Mothman. We're in Mason County, which I just made up. We're in Mason County, which is where we have been every other episode of Mountain Monsters. Right here, behind the Walmart in Mason County.

The field. The field behind the Walmart at Mason County. I've seen some. The Moth Band in this area goes back many, many years. These Moth Band sightings go hand in hand with tragedy. They go hand in hand with a good Reddit post. These guys are really bundled up. It must be cold out there. Mason Gallery. Hucking buck and suck, and fuck. They're all out there doing it. He seems to have mystic powers. He hypnotizes people. You're white as a sheep, though. Guys, I'm alerted to hypnotizing. I got a doctor's note. I can't do this one. It makes me break out in hives and dance like a chicken. I one time I got hypnotized by the guy, the guy at the local fair, the Kings and the Nights and stuff. What's that called? The Renaissance Fair. I got hypnotized by the Renaissance Fair guy. For three days, I walked around like a chicken with my pants off. The other guy just said to Buck or... Which one is he? Chuck, he's Buck. Yeah, that's Buck. Or Huck. No, that's Buck. That's Huck. Oh, fuck Huck. Chuck. I don't We've been doing this for five years, and I still don't know the names of these guys.

We need a little bit of- We need a little chart. Yeah, we should have some- He just said, You're white. You're really white. You're really white. Meanwhile, he's got a headlamp shining on his face. I know. And the pitch talk. First of all, second of all, he was really white in the first place. I'm sorry, but I don't see Buck as the guy that gets to Cabo very often. I could be wrong. I could be wrong. He seems to have mystic powers. He It hypnotizes people. You're white as a sheep, Buck. I'm all right. I'm all right. That was Buck. I haven't gotten to 10 in bed this week. It's something we've never had to deal with before. Hang on a second. I got the runs. I'll be right back. Hang on one second. That baconator is coming back up on me, boys. I'm going to have to go into the Walmart and blow that bathroom up. We're going to destroy it. We're going to destroy that restroom. Could you do me a favor? Security guards? Run in there and see if you can't clear out that part of it. Oh, man. Buck just went down.

I mean, he really went down. Let's see, he actually went down. Wow. That almost doesn't look fake. I know. Wow, that Baconator did come back up on him. Wow. You can't see this because you're listening to the show, but they're all standing around. The four main characters and Mountain Monsters are standing around. Buck, who I think is generally known as the leader of the group, he's a very big boy, and he just falls over. But it looks real. He face-planted. Yeah. Buck, buck, buck. We can't get him up now. Buck, buck. Are you okay? Because if I'm not mistaken, you just passed out. At your size, you probably had a heart attack or a stroke. But let me not dither. Let me ask you if you're okay. Shouldn't you immediately get emergency aid? These guys are standing around saying his name. The guy just went headfirst into the ground. Guys, he ain't faking. Come on, Buck. He ain't faking. All right, let me get a Red Bull. Like, usually. Like, usual. Let me get a red bowl and a couple of honey bun. We'll get them back up. He's a poor guys like Elvis. They just keep plugging them full of fluids and trying to get them on stage.

Hang on now. Just lay there for a minute. Hang on. You okay, Buck? Breathe easy. As if he was going to get up on his own anytime soon. Lay down for a minute. Breathe easy. You hit pretty hard. He's rubbing them. No, they really do love each other. They're like little friends. There's a little group of friends running after Moth Man out there. That's what me and my friends do on my days off. You passed out. Get up. Set him up here. Hang on. Stay right there. Hang on, hang on. I got some gas stuck in my rectum. Hang on, hang on. Let me adjust my monster cock. Talk to me. Talk to me. Where's my flash light? We got it. We got all that stuff. We'll take care of you. Where's my flash light? What we're going to do is continue to keep rolling. Yeah, I'm just going to keep rolling. No medical attention really needed. Wait, where's my flash light and my Costco membership card? Get those two things before I get up. I have no clue what just happened to me. We walk into the woods and then... Well, I'm not a doctor, but I am the third Huckleberry on this show.

If I had to take a guess, you were hypnotized by the Moth Man. I'm just dizzy. The next thing I know, I open my eyes. I'm on the ground looking up at Huckleberry and Jeff. They told me that I passed out. That's exactly what I want to see if I pass out. Huckleberry and Jeff on top of me. I just wake up and then pass right back out. I'm like, Oh. Huckleberry and Jeff. Huckleberry and Jeff. Well, thank God Huckleberry and Jeff were there. Yes. Doing nothing for you but rubbing your belly. I feel better staying up a little bit. I've seen something strange. I don't really what's going on. Just felt a A little weird. I don't know. You got my shotgun? I'll take care of it. You got my shotgun? That'll make me feel better. I know. I'm feeling dizzy. You got my gun? I'm feeling Disney and hypnotized and all out of sort. You got my gun loaded? Can I point it in multi-directions? What if he just takes the gun and starts swinging it around? How's everybody doing? I'm going to fall down again. You're being cover here. You just worry about yourself.

You just take care Buck. All right? Your bandana? Yeah. Thanks, guys. They gave him some therapy lessons there. They're like, You take care of yourself. You do you, Buck. It's some Buck time. You need some self-love right there, buddy. Go draw a bath, get yourself a good magazine, and a nice bottle of rosé. You're going to be right as rain by tomorrow. All right, take it. Bachelor finale is on. Go watch it with Brian. Grab my shot, man. We got it. Is that... Oh, that's his beard. I thought it was a hazmat suit. Well, he's like a walking hazmat I feel like you should have a hazmat suit if you're around him almost. That's scary. Well, that sucks. I guess we have to keep filming. Let us not-We got to get that Moth Man. Let us not delay. The Moth Man needs our attention. I hope he's all right. I do, too. I hope he's all right. We probably should go to the hospital with him, but we're going to stay here with our headlamps and run around like little children looking for Moth Man. I just don't know. I can't explain it. Now it's the next day, just to keep you abreast of what's going on.

At his sight, it was clearly shaken up by what he saw that night. Now it's time to go after the Moth Man. Oh, now it's time to go after the Moth Man. That was just a free. That was a pre-launch party. Yeah. I was a little tailgating before the fish concert. I've seen stranger stuff at a widespread panic show. I see that every time. Guys going down on their face and other guys standing around going, Hello? Hello? Crash's idea that these electrical currents attracted the Mothman just may lead to an idea that may help us devise a trapper. Wait, who's this guy, Trapper, who's showing up now? I don't know. It almost looked like this may be an earlier episode. Earlier or later episode, yeah. Well, because it said Buck, and then below it said Rooky. Oh, it said Rooky? Yeah. Oh, he does look younger in this episode, too. Yeah, we don't know because we don't do any research before we start this show. We aren't aware of all the comings and goings of everybody because we fail to do any homework whatsoever. I'm reading this article the other day about podcasts and spreading misinformation on podcast.

The girl wrote the article, which was, I think, well done, but a little snarky, was like, because podcasts, all they do is just claim they don't know anything while they spread misinformation. We really don't know anything. But luckily, we're only spreading misinformation about Mountain Monsters, so I don't think we're harming anybody. Here we are, Bill. Normally, when I design traps, I design them for- Really? Willy. It's my rat. My rat grew up to be a mountain monster. You did it, Willie. You did it. You survived. The legend. The legend of Willy. He's now a trap builder for the Mountain Monsters. It makes total sense. It makes total sense. I love this. He went down into the sewers. He freed Willy and looked what he became. I freed Willy. He went down into the sewers. He's like a teenage. Yeah, he came in contact with nuclear waste. He became a Mountain Monster. I'm so glad things turned out for you. It's me, Daddy. It's me. Daddy, come back. You could sit on my shoulder. You're a little big, but you could sit on my shoulder again. Just like the old times, I'll put you in a box with some of that shaved up cardboard.

You'll be fine. Things will be great, just like they used to be. Ben, the two of us need look no more. And being able to hold and contain whatever creatures we're after. This one's totally different. I've heard about the most, man. That thing can just go from here. Look, Wild Bill, this was before he was yelling. Oh, yeah. He was calm back then before the producers started saying, Well, you're just not interesting enough. How's that? What if I just done you all the time like this? Hey, hooper. Yip, yip. Hey, come here, you all the moss man. I'll be down by the crib. Turn, just a matter of seconds. Any trap that I build, we're going to drop down over top, and he could teleport right on the outside of the cage. Teleport? What is this? Star Trek. He can teleport outside the cage? Why are you trying to build a cage? I know. For a creature that can teleport outside cages. It doesn't make much sense. And be free again. So what I got here is a cage that I can electrify, which he can't transport through electricity. You know basically how a bug zapper works.

Yeah. Well, this is-Yeah, I sure do. Yeah, he needed to crank it up and on. I sure do. I got five of those in front of my house on my front porch. I knock into them every once in a while. Largest bug zapper you ever seen. Jop, jop, bug zapper. Jop, jop. What does Jop, jop mean? A giant, giant. Oh, he said giant, giant? I thought he said Jop, jop. Wait one second. Let's go back. You might be right. If you ever seen. Jop, jop, bug zapper. Jop, jop. I think he said Jop, jop. It's his own mountain monster language. But of course, he's talking to a full-sized rat mutant. A mutant rodent. So he does probably have to tailor his language to his audience. I got it. I understand. This is the idea I come up with. Two before galvanized electrifying wire. Then I got this high voltage electric box that I brought with me. This will be enough juice. I've got this extremely dangerous high voltage lightning box we're going to put right under the high power transmission lines. I know it I showed those big- I know. Electrical lines going through the whole 10 acres.

Yeah, we've all seen it. You're driving down the road somewhere a little rural, and then out of nowhere, there's these huge power lines. They look like ski slopes. Yeah, ski slopes. They just go on forever. The ski things, the ski lifts. Those are the high wadage power lines that make up the grid in the United States. They connect and they go for hundreds of miles, maybe thousands of miles, I don't know. But they're underneath these things because they think that's where the Mothman is going to be attracted to. Their bright idea is to put yet another high voltage electrical thing right under the high... That's so dumb. Be able to energize this whole cage. Pull it up hard to the top of the bridge. Set the heel further. Once he gets up underneath of it, the motions will set it off. The cage drops down around through him. He's home to stay. He cannot transport to the outside and he can't touch the side of the cage. He can't transport. I'm pretty sure if someone could transport, electricity is not going to stop him. But I What do I know? What do I know about telephonic?

If he does, it'll be like barbecue. Get her done, bro. You're just going to tell me what you need to do in the old Marine. Tell me what you need to do, and I'm going to go get some crank, and I'll be right back. I'm going to go shake up my Mountain Dew meth bottle, and I'll be right back. We'll get her done. This is a unique cage trap. It's actually the biggest bug zapper ever built. There is some tall stuff, brother. I've rewired up my bug zapper at the house a time or two. To be able to catch these moths and millers and these damn little-Who's at home rewiring their bug zapper? Who does that? I'm pretty sure people on Crystal Meth like to do that thing, don't they? Don't they like to take apart TVs and put them back together? I mean, I- You know when you're at home, rewiring your bug zapper. When you're at home, rewiring your bug zapper after a long day at a party with chiropractors, you know how it goes. Oh, Lord. Okay, let's do this. Let's take a break, and then we're going to... Let's take a break, and then we'll get back to our good friends here at Mountain Monsters.

We'll be back. Are you lonely, depressed, listless, feeling silly? Call TCB at 212-433-3TCB to get advice on your most difficult life circumstances. That advice will probably be bad, but that's okay. Call today. It's only 79.99 plus shipping and handling for AskTCB Advice Services. That's 212-433-3822. Now that I have your attention, you should know that you can also follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. First. If you want to request our latest sticker, head to tcbpodcast. Com, click Contact, and select Sticker Request from the drop-down menu. And don't forget, you owe me 79.99 plus shipping and handling. This episode This episode is sponsored in part by Zbiotics Pre-Alcohol. Let's face it, most of us are not 21 years old, partying like we used to. We have to make the choice between a great night or a great morning after. At least that's what we thought, Christie and I, until we tried Pre-Alcohol alcohol. I don't drink a whole bunch anymore, and I was on the fence about this one. But a few weeks ago, Esther and I went out for some drinks for my birthday. The pre-alcohol was sitting on the counter, and I decided, why not give it a try?

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Com/commercial and use that code commercial at checkout for the 15% off. Thank you, Zbiotics, for being a sponsor of a wonderful morning after drinks and of the Commercial Break. For the past three seasons of gone south, we've covered one story per season. We tried to figure out who killed Margaret Coon. She told me, I'm going to kill you. I said, Well, do it, bitch. Go ahead and do it. We delved into the violent world of the Dixie Mafia. I'm an outlaw, and I was a thief, but I'm far from being the psychotic nutcase that I've been made out to be. And we tracked a serial killer in Laredo, Texas. Just turn around, please. Turn around. Hey, hey, hey. Hey. Now, Gone South is back for a fourth season. But this time, we're doing things a little differently. So in Gone South Season 4, we'll be bringing you news stories every week with no end in sight. I'm Jed Lepinsky. Welcome back to Gone South, an Odyssey Original podcast. Listen and follow now on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts for new episodes every week. All right, we're back in our own Faraday cage over here at the commercial break.

Let's get back to the Mountain Monsters. They're currently building the world's largest Bug Zapper, which imagine what these guys could be if they put.... To fly around and aggravate you and bug you. But I've never in my life built a Bug Zapper this big. Why would you? I mean, for what reason? Here, anybody eating an old malform? We're not going to get to eat, bro. I have a lot of money. I mean, once you're getting fried up in here. Let's get a ride on a seat all up in here. We're planning on having some Moth wings after we get the Moth man in here. Is he drunk? Yeah, he is something. First of all, yeah, I think-Moth wings. As the Seasons go on, he gets drunker, and that's why he gets louder. But he is something. Or maybe that's just the way he is. I don't know. Seems like a nice enough guy. Just does a lot of weird talking. Jop, jop. Damn, that thing starts easy. So now they're... That thing starts easy. Yeah, I know. Dang, that thing starts easy. I don't trust things to start that easy. Plug it in right there, Bill, and I'll show you how this little machine works right here.

Flip her on, brother. Power button. I know the mock came. Power. You turned it on. Electrocubes. That's amazing. That's how it works. He's like the real-life... Remember King of the Hill? Yes. The dad. No, the guy who was just mumble, Boomhauer. What I'm going to come up with is having a cage that I can electrify. She can't transport through electricity. How do you know that? Who has been teleporting through electricity? He was just guessing. Or not? Yeah, of course. Right back here, buddy. Oh, Lord. You see them two resistors right there? You see those two resistors right there? You want to have a great Friday night? Stick your dick in it. Make your hair stand on end. Produce electrical force that will fry his little ass. He'll think your fourth of July has come early. He'll think the fourth of July has come early. Do you think the Moth Man has a calendar? I'm just wondering. Well, Halloween's coming up. It's my busy time. It's my busy time. All the kids are going to make fun of me again. Moth Man costume again. That's how I was born. There's a lot of people down here in Mason County that have spoken about the red big pan-like gazing eyes.

Buck had an awfully terrifying feeling once the Mothman had looked him straight in the eyes, and I've got grave concerns. Wait, when did the Mothman look him straight in the eyes? I don't know. He just fell over. I didn't see any Mothman. Well, no, of course, they didn't get me on camera. Now he's just tired in the back of the trip. They're all riding in the and Bucks got his eyes closed in the back with his heads bobbling all over the place. We've been out on several investigations, and this is the first time we've came across something of this nature that would make one of the team members sick. After seeing what I've seen up at Crashes field, I've seen these two big glowing eyes. I got- That's your big glowing eyes. Look like a headlight's about a mile away. First of all, second of all, I've never been on a mountain monster set, but I guarantee this This is not the first thing that has made people sick on a mountain monster set. I can only imagine what Kraft Services looks like over there. Billy. Billy. Well, I got extra Doritos, taco locos, from TACO Bell and Mountain Dew, just like you requested.

Now, I do have to say, I bought the taco locos about a week ago, but they still smell okay. Jop, jop. I'm going to eat them. Sounds good to me. Passed out, and I haven't felt well since. We're getting ready to go on an interview. This guy was out in the woods. He's an avid hunter and trapper. He sighted him on a perch up on top of an old county bridge. Been closed for years. Who's hanging around an old county bridge closed for years? I mean, I realized- Well, there's not a lot to do. I realize not everybody lives in Atlanta, Georgia. I get it. I have a lot to do. I have been friends with. I have been to. I have been out in the backwoods. I I've been to parties in the woods where you pretend like you're in the backwoods for a couple of days. But I don't know who's at an old bridge looking for Mothman. We're headed over to see a man named Mark. How are you? Mark's telling us that he was out deer hunting, and he sees this figure sitting on the top of this old bridge. It gives him a very eerie feeling.

Scientific proof. Back in the woods there, scouting for deer, and I've seen this big creature on the bridge. I love how they all have their notebooks out in the writing. As if this is an Agatha Christie murder mystery. I had no idea what it was. It was a little bigger than me. It had red, glowing eyes, and I just stand there mesmerized by it. How tall was it? It had to have been at least seven foot tall. I heard stories- Seven foot, eight foot, nine foot? What makes it better for the television? We're weighing creatures before. I told my buddies about it, and they mentioned something about a Moth Man. That's entirely possible because- That's entirely possible because we're doing an episode on Moth Man right now, and it's in the script. If my name isn't Trapper. Wasn't there a show called Trapper MD one time? I think so. Yeah, I think so. Back in the '70s. There's been a lot of sightings of the Moth Man in this part of the country. When people have close-up sightings of him, the eyes is what really gets him. I'm very excited this took place. That's why he's wearing sun glasses.

The guy they're talking to in his sunglasses. And that trapper guy starts talking to him like he knows what he's talking about. His mouth is wide open and he's just nodding his head and then shaking it also. He's like, That's not what I said. I said I thought I saw a creature. On a bridge, because that's the Mothman's portfolio. That's his Moth. His portfolio. That's his MOW. His old county bridges. Their deer hunting grounds where no No one else can witness. I do see a pattern coming together here. Really like to see this bridge. Mark had the sighting of Moth Man on this bridge, but the characteristics of it relate back to 1967 and the Silver Bridge collapse. What's scary is to have a sighting of Moth Man today. Everybody feels that whenever you see the Moth Man, there's tragedy that follows. I can see the- Like buck tipping over, like a sleeping cow. Yeah. Bridge. Yeah. Man, that's a unique bridge. They don't build them like that anymore, do they? They don't build them like that anymore, do they? That's what? A three, four-foot expansion bridge? That's the reason why it's closed. Yeah, there's a reason why it literally has no road anymore.

It's two pieces of iron swung across a creek, I swear to God, is no bigger than 6 feet across. None. They don't make them like that anymore. No, they don't. Because they could literally just put some dirt in there and make a road. That bridge is way too little to hold anything, especially someone my size, and the Mothman is supposed to be bigger. There's no way it would hold. Mark wanted to see your bridge because the Mothman-Yeah, but if you could tell it for... Now, if you could tell it for it, that's a different story. You just got to float above it a little bit, Chrissy. You're not thinking about this correctly in scientific terms. Been seeing around bridges so much that actually we're going to incorporate a bridge into our trap. Yeah, I saw that creature sitting right up on top of that rail on the right. He was just crouched on top of that rail. Are you sure it wasn't the DMT talking? He was just crouched. He was just crouched. He was taking a Mothman shit. Poops the size of logs. It was amazing. It just put the fear God in. That's when he jumped up and glided across.

That's when he jumped up and made another dropping and then flew away. I collected the scat. Would you like to see it? It's the size of the Mothman. Rumor has it he's got straight intestines. Food just goes right through him. Rumor has it Mothman has the biggest dung of any of the creatures we've chased. Jeff will know the researcher. Yeah, for sure. Weren't they one time sticking their hands in some Wolfman scat or something? They were. You just got a... No, he just disappeared. No, he just got a... He just got a... Everybody's doing it now. Everyone's doing the same little noise. He just got a... You know. Yeah, I don't want to say it on national television, but... Let himself loose. He really let one go. It flew off. And it flew off. Flames coming from his anus. His dung literally set on fire coming out of his butt. Well, that tracks with what we've heard from other Moth Man sightings. He got off into the desk. Mark didn't have a whole lot of details or facts in this story. The story was very bad. That's why we chose to focus on him. This is why we spent 15 minutes of this episode talking about him, is because he didn't really actually tell the truth.

He didn't do any facts or research. He didn't do any facts or research or anything really beneficial. It was like the commercial break. I know. I felt like we were getting to commercial break territory, so I just let them go. This our The whole episode is based on this one man's sightings, but in hindsight, I do have to admit, even for the Mountain Monsters, it would sound a little sketchy. But I think that he was just a little surprised. Whatever he's seen, it was dark. What do you think about what his wingspan was from where you saw him? Oh, 50 feet at least. I don't know. What's in the script? Five feet. When he opened his wing, it's just It just came out. I don't know. Can we focus less on the poop and more about him? He also turned his head and it just got a… I'm guessing 12, 14 feet wide. That's pretty big. Mark's story is not adding up. Some of the things he was telling us just couldn't be true. The bridge wasn't the right height. I can't believe. I've never seen the Mountain Monsters discount a story like this. But this is probably, I think you're right, this is an early episode, and they're probably trying to give some credibility to this.

There is. Poor Mark. I mean, you go on the Mountain Monsters, you don't expect to be grilled by the Mountain Monsters. I don't know, but I just would imagine you're not thinking this is going to be an interrogation. I said, Yeah, it's all the mouth. Man, he's 48 feet high and 400 feet of wingspan, and you know, you got to have teleported away with his poop. I just really believe that he'd seen an owl. Mark, are An owl. From a huge mouth man to an owl. This guy's like, I've been doing ketamine therapy after I saw that moth man. Now you're telling me it was an owl? Wow, poor Mark. I mean, now all his friends are like, Yeah, you're the guy that lied on Mountain Monsters. I mean, if you couldn't get any lower. Appreciate you bringing us out here to spend the time with us. No problem. That had to been one hell of an experience. That's all I have to say. It sure was. It sure was. I was pretty high I'm not so much now. I'm actually feeling not so good. If I could go back and do some more narcotics, I'll probably feel better.

I'm not real enthusiastic with his story because the damned old bridge is so rotten that we're talking about a 600, 700-pound animal sitting on top of this bridge, and I'm pretty sure they- They got a CGI rendering. This is no Steven Spielberg work here. No Amblin' entertainment here. There's no James Cameron. No. Pixar. Yeah, Pixar did not make It's amazing. It's like a manlike creature with big wings and red, glowing eyes, drawn by my son in preschool. To collapse with it. The Mothman may have caused the Silver Bridge to collapse. I'm going to tell you right now, it ain't going to take much for that bridge to collapse. It's pretty rinkety, isn't it? It is. We're going to make sure we don't get anyone out on there. You mean you're not even going to send me this time? I wouldn't send you out on there, Bucky. That bridge is so old, it's So decrepid. I don't even believe it would hold the weight of the Moth Man, let alone a trap. We definitely have to find another bridge to set our trap for the Moth Man. The Moth Man is just coming to bridges? That's all he does?

Just hang out on bridges? That's apparently his portfolio. His portfolio. That's his scene, Christie. Some people are into emo, punk, hippie bands. You know what I'm saying? He's into bridges. And why not? Okay. Oh, that's it. We don't get any more? Oh, no, there is a follow-up video to this. There definitely is a follow-up video to this, and I would love to show it. Man, oh, man, no Moth Man sighting today. That was a real mouthful. But maybe, just maybe, we'll get a sighting of the sheep Squatch. Take it away, Brian. Last episode, we did Mountain Monster. Some of our favorite guys on Earth are those Mountain Monster guys. Buck Chuck, Buck. Buck Chuck, Buck, and Huck. Huckleberry Two, Huckleberry 3, Huckleberry 4, and Trapper John, who I didn't even know was a guy on the show until yesterday. Well, what about Willy, too? Oh, yeah. There was a Willy. That's right. Tome free Willy. There he is. The rat that I let go years ago. He did just fine. Now he's living in the backwoods of Kentucky, spotting Muffmen. West Virginia. I'm pretty sure this is all filmed at the exact same place. I'm pretty sure.

And it's probably not West Virginia. It's definitely Kentucky. I don't know. Who knows? Anyway. So here's what I did. I found us another one without further ado. I'm scrolling on the Internet. As you do. As I do like to do. And here, the mountain monsters are not chasing sasquatch, they're chasing sheep Squatch. Oh, sheep Squatch. Yeah, it's a combo of the sasquatch and sheep. The legend of the sheep Squatch. The legend of the sheep Squatch. That's what I was afraid of when I spend the nights out in the woods. Not the camp counselors, not the Boy Scout guys, not my priests, but that sheep Squatch. Always running around the woods. Oh my God. Ramming people. It's huge. I'm assuming it's big. Oh, it's got to be. And it has horns. Oh, you don't know how big it is. And yes, it does have horns. When it gets excited, it gets horns. All right, let's take a look and see. We're on the final night of the hunt, according to final night. There's a full moon. There's a full... Of course, there's always a full moon. It's B-roll footage. They got to make some explanation as to why it's so very bright everywhere they go.

Full moon, yeah. There it was again. There it was again. There it is again. There it is again. There it is again. Yeah, guys, listen, I'm over here and I got my dick stuck in a pussy willow. I'm trying to get it out. It's making a knocking sound. Don't mind me. We're in Boone County and we're hunting the sheep squatch. He said that with a straight face. They're always in Boone County. Boone County is the same county, every state. It's Boone County. Poor Boone County. They got the worst reputation. Look at this. Oh, my God. They put up a picture of the sheep squatch. Oh, wow. It has got the body of a A sasquatch. A sasquatch. A big foot. A sasquatch. A weird piranha mouth. And a dog face and then goat horns. I don't even think it's a sheep. I think it's a goat. 6.5, 7 foot tall, weighs over 600 pounds. He's got a rat tail. Oh my God. What the fuck is going on? These guys are going a little too crazy. They're just making up anything. Of course they are. And by the way, I'm so proud to announce, I'm so proud of our country, I'm so proud of us as a United States of America, that I will read a lot of the comments below some of these videos on YouTube, and people take it just as we do.

It's just a comedy goal to them. And has a huge set of horns like a ram. He just ran off. He just ran off. Damn it. David, he got away. This huge 600 pounds. God damn it. I'm going to go chase this 1,000-pound piranha-mouthed, sky-squatch with horns that could kill me by myself. You all stay here. Careful, careful, I don't think that's running more than it is just- Leaping over a log? Moving your feet in place. What is he doing? What do you got? I can't see. Holy cow, look at right there. Guys, how do you expect to catch anything at a ground-breaking 1.2 miles per hour? They're just swinging their guns all over the place at each other. Look at that. I turned that tree he was laying up against. He was just right here. He was just here. He was just here two and a half feet from us because we didn't run anywhere. We literally stumbled two feet. He was right there. Imagine we could have actually had a camera take a picture of this creature so that we could be the most famous people on Earth. They got away too quick.

Yeah, they always do, Chrissy. Oh, guys, I'm sorry. It scared me. Look at that. He tore up Jack, didn't he? A sheep squashed just tacked this tree. He just tore a bark up. He said, I'm not going to say it. He said, I'm not going to say it. He said, I'm not going to say it. He took it. He took it. Then the thing, the moment it fell over, then I ran, and then he fell, and then it came down. He took it. God damn. There. Let me make my sheep calling noises. That was good. This is bad news. I'm telling you what. Dug a big old hole in the ground where he slung against that thing and just tore out north right towards that track. Keep going to the left. I don't care the fucking word you said. He's the worst. I know. Phil. I have earmuffs if I work with that guy, and I'm a guy who screams for a living. Keep an eye on your left up there, trapper. Okay. Be careful there, Willy. You fall off that son of a bitch. We never get you out of here. I can see the brush.

There's a tree that has fallen over what is clearly a three and a half inch ravine. Yeah, it's not very tall. And they're saying, Don't fall off. We'll never get you out of there. Well, because mainly because the rest of you are 380 pounds. Out there towards right straight in front of me, about 75 yards. I can hear it. Back up and come around. You came up here with us. Our log is going to lead you to no place. I love how these guys... They're so sweet with each other. Don't get yourself stuck on a log that's fallen down. That'll lead no place. Well, I'm pretty sure anywhere you go in this scenario leads you to no place. Nice. Cross the ravine. Go back through there. I see his eye right there, right there, right out there. But 60, 70 yards. I see it. He's moving up to the left. I see his eye. Guys, that's me. I see his eye. That's it, though. Just his eye. Yeah, from 75 yards away, he sees his eye. Guys, that's me. Don't shoot. Don't shoot. There he goes. He's going exactly in the right direction we want him to, though.

Trapper. Go ahead, Doug. We just caught him. Trapper MD. Cbs needs a new episode by Thursday. Go ahead. Yeah. Trapper MD. He's over here, heading up against a tree. He's got least kickback. He's right between us on the trail. Can we just see him over here, seeing his eyes go up this ridge line? No, I'm perfectly relaxed in this situation. I'm just going to be sitting on the ground. Buck, the guy who's closest to the sheep man, Sheep Squatch. Sheepfoot. Whatever it is. Sheepfoot. The guy who's closest to the sheepfoot, he's sitting on the ground just relaxed as he can be. Don't worry about me, guys. I'm good. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Listen. Listen. Listen to that. The sound editors on this are just awesome. I know they are. You're hearing that, Bob? Yeah, I'm hearing a We need to join back up. Are you close to the log pile? Yeah, we're pretty close to it. We'll meet you at the log pile. Are you close to the dumping pile? Meet me at the log pile. You mean the hole in the ground where we take our shits or the actual log pile? No, the stinkies.

Let's go. I just heard the sheep squash roar. I think it was loud. It echoed all the way up this holler. It's incredible. Over here. Over here. We're coming. We're coming. We're coming. It was right here. Wow. The action in this is like, it's crazy. They're all moving at a glacial pace, just swinging their guns wildly around. I think they also just met up with the other... There was one team and then one other team, and then they missed them, though. You've never hunted for cryptids, but if you had hunted for cryptids, you know that's how it goes. Cryptids? Cryptids. That's what they're called, these wild animals that don't really exist, but people want to believe that they do. They're called cryptids. I didn't know that. Let me share with you. When you go cryptid hunting, You know, like a 3,000-pound, seven-and-a-half-foot tall thing with fangs and muscles. At night. Yeah, at night under the full moon. You know what you do? You split up. It gives this creature a better chance to eat you alive. Slug pop. We heard him. We heard him. We've seen him, too. We got to keep pushing him north right towards the trap.

Let's move right through there now. Oh, they've got a trap. Form a line. Everybody points your gun at the guy next to you. Let's form a line, and we'll walk slowly until one of us dies accidentally. The team just met up. We're going to keep pushing north on this deer trail right up where Mason had his encounter with the sheep squads. They got a map on there. They're showing you where they are. That's not a map. It's just a- Arrows. Yeah, it's just arrows pointing in the northern-y direction. Our feeder is just right over the hill. Right there. There he is. Go, go, go, go, go. Thank God. Go, go, go, Go, go, go, run slower than you were running before. Go, go, go, go, go. God damn, dude. Check your fan, right? Check your thermal, Jeff. I'm scanning. Check your thermal. Check your thermal. Your thermal underwear? Yeah. No, they're good. I meant a little bing-bang in my pants earlier from craft services, but I'm good. Anybody got any wet wipes? I got a delicate anus. Biodegradable, please. I don't want to hurt this. Boone County. He's moving fast, guys. Yeah. Oh, down the hill.

He's down the hill. Straight down the hill. Come on, Bill. Straight over the hill. He's just marching in place. I know. They're just going so slow. They're trying to chase a 7,000-pound creature that's seven and a half feet tall, and they could not be moving slower. It's like they're running in place. They're doing the backwood shuffle. They're just shuffling their feet along the ground. Right here by this deer stand, something smacked it and took off down the hill. What do you got? Well, I found it. Unfortunately, Huckleberry number 3 is gone. He's dead. But I did find him, and then he ran away. As hard as I ran, I just couldn't catch up with him. I was right there. I can't see nothing. Right in there, We got to get to the side besides Huckleberry. He's moving too fast. We got to get the work. We got to get to the side side of Buckleberry. Jump, jump. He's moving too fast. Jump, jump. He's moving too fast. Or maybe you're moving too slow. Exactly. Maybe half your problem on this stupid show is that you guys just don't know how to run. It's just crawling, basically.

What's to do, driver? We got to get in the side besides and push him north. Huckleberry and I will take one. You guys take the other one. I mean, there has got to be a more scientific way of doing this, don't you think? Shouldn't you have a chopper up above with thermos? I was going to say a drone. Yeah, like a drone, a couple of scientists who are ready to draw blood or something. There's got to be a better way to go about capturing the sheep squatch. I mean, that's just their process, Brian. Don't knock it. I don't knock it. I've made a good living off their process. But I'm just sharing with you that it's silly the way they go about this. They just stand in a in a circle, swing their guns around, and yell at each other, essentially. Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Let's go. Move out. Let's go. The sheep squatch is way too fast for us to keep up with him on foot. He didn't jump in the side besides a pigeon point. I'm picturing this creature. I know. He's just dancing. He's running. Oh, my God.

Hey, over here. Bulk, Bulk, over here. Over here. Come on, Bulk, run down that hill. Oh, what, Scott, you missed me. I'm behind the tree. Red Rover, Red Rover, send Bulk over. Marco. Marco. Oh, these fucking mountain monsters. I love scared of them. Here, let me scramble up this tree real quick. That's so much fun. Hey, guys, if you do catch me, I'm just going to eat you, but let's have some fun with it for a while. Here, I'm going to run at a normal human pace, and you guys will be a mile behind me in about five minutes. Come get me. All right. Let's go. Come on, grab him. Go, go, go, go, go. Let's go, Willy. Let's go, Willy. Let's go, Willy. Yeah, bro. Come on. Let's go, go, go. Go, go, go, go, go, I'm right here. You don't need to get to a golf cart. You just walk to me, and then I'll eat you. Here come my horns. I'll be right back. Let's go. Get on. Get on. Get on. Listen to the crazy noises in the background. He's back on the ground, boy. Roar. Roar. Am I scaring you yet?

Roar. Here, wait. Let me make the little tapping noises. Fuck. Over here. You missed me. Hey, you want to play a game of tag? You I'll take my mouth and I'll chop off your arm. What do you think? No? All right. There's my one eye. Yeah, I got one eye. Even with my one eye and dislocated shoulder and my bad hip, I'm still faster than Buck. Okay, all right. Run, you bastard. Run. Yeah. Yeah. Like they're on a horse. Yeah. Get them, John Deere tractor lawnmower. Yeah. All right, let's take a break, and we're going to be back with lawnmots. We got to figure out what happens here, Chrissy. I'm excited now. I feel like there's a good shot. We're going to see a picture. I think so. This time. I think so. This time, they're going to get their man. This time, Billy's going to get it. He's going to get it. All right, we'll be back. Call me Beat Me if you want to reach me at 212-433-3-TCB. If you have any comments, questions, compliments, or content ideas, that's 212-433-3822. You can also find us on the interweb at tcbpodcast. Com, which is where all of our audio and video lives.

So check it out. And then while you're at it, you can follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at Tcb Podcast. That's all for now. So let's have a listen to our sponsors and get back to the show. All right, let's get back into it because I have a feeling they're hot on the trail. They are. They're not around. They're the leather turfs up. The guy ain't going our way. Stay with him, driver. He's nail-binding. Yeah. By the way, they're traveling 32 miles per hour in this car. Stay up with him. Is he running down the same trail? I mean, honestly. He's running fast. There's lots of woods here, but what I'm going to do is I'm going to run down the road so you guys can see me clearly. Is that cool? Is that good? You think you can catch up with me? Come on, let's do it. Man, this is rough. This is rough. Go, go, go. It doesn't look rough to me. It looks like a fucking road. You're gliding down a road A John Deere tractor. The truck in here. That can go, too. He got no choice now.

He's a. We're going to get him. We're going to get him. We're going to get him. Oh, yeah. We're going to get him. We're going to get him. Can they see him? Because I can. I know that they're flashing up the- The thermal camera. The thermal camera, which shows nothing. I don't know what I'm looking at. It shows nothing. It just shows the woods. That's it. I guess the woods are red hot tonight because everything's red on the screen. We're out. Damn, he can go to this shit quick. Can't he? Damn, Boon County. If it was easy, we wouldn't be down. God damn Boon County. God damn Boon County. Boon County is where you're making your bread and butter, kid. You're always in Boon County. Damn Boon Kater. They've all got guns, too, and nobody can just- Point and shoot. Point and shoot. If he's close enough to see, he's close enough to shoot. Get a dart gun. I mean, wouldn't that be the wise thing here? Get a dart gun, fill it with some good stuff, and just shoot him in the neck. I've seen it in movies. Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. Stay with him.

He's going right there. He's still headed that way. We're on his ass. They keep showing these- We're on his ass. On his ass. Don't threaten me with a good time. Get up in this ass. It's lonely out here for a sea squatch. I'm just letting you know. There's not a lot of females, a lot of a single female sheep-squatch in Bird County. So if you guys want to take out it, I'll just bend over. Let you ram me for a few minutes. Then I'll basically mutilate you with my teeth. How's that? Oh, they're steep. There. Right away. He's right here. He's right here. What the fuck is that? This is worse than Fifty Shades of Gray. Did they just crash into a tree and fell over? They just crashed into something. Yeah, but it was so bad. You could tell no one crashed. It was just a camera shaking. This is the worst. I mean, it's the best comedy, But it's the worst non-fiction show on television. It's clearly fiction. Happer Huckleberry just hit something. We got to get down. All right, shit, sound like a grenade went off. We got to take time to talk to the camera real quick, and we're going to go rescue our friends.

I'm going to do an interview real quick. We're going to go down there and help them. We're going to take the next 30 to 35 minutes to do this cutaway, and we're going to certainly find out whether our friends are dead or not. It's not like just switching out. Because Buck's pants are all the way down around his thigh. His whole ass is sticking out as he's trying to shuffle down the hill. Buck, driver. Buck, driver. Buck, driver. Buck, driver. Buck, driver. Buck, driver. Buck, driver. Buck, driver. Buck, driver. Buck, Yeah, for Uncle Barry. Oh, he's sliding his arm on his butt. They're all sliding down their butt. Yeah, that's probably the best idea, that size. Probably faster. Probably faster. If you were just roll down, what was her name in the Willy Wanka movie? Verruca Salt. Are you okay, Huck? Oh, down goes Buck. Down goes Buck. They're just tripping all over themselves. I know. The medic costs on this production must be huge because everyone's always fallen or hurting themselves. Remember that one time? Was it Huckleberry that fell into the freezing water? Yes. Well, the water was coming down on him. That was a different one.

Oh, no. Yeah, you're right. It was like our first ever mountain Monsters, and he fell into a creek, and it was freezing. What's that? What happened? We just seen you hit something. That's a goddamn tree. We hit a goddamn tree? We hit a goddamn buck. Don't worry, the golf cart is completely unscathed, but we are profusely bleeding everywhere. Look at the wine shield. Damn, Traffler. You're all right? Mcacle Barry, you all right? They're discombobulated. They're all discombobulated. I think these guys might need medical attention right now, but we're in Boone County. Walmart He's the closest doctor. They got their cage ready. He went that way. He went that way. He went that way. Go, go, go. Go, go. Leave me alone. Leave them alone. There's broken glass. Everywhere. Their hair is all discombobulated. There he goes. Yeah, they can't talk. They're in some state of confusion. Then one of the guys who's been in the accident says he went that way, and everyone just starts running away. Don't worry about him. It'll be fine. Go, go. Up the hill. That's the good man. I think that it got mad. It got irritated. It turned. Instead of going to the trap, it went ahead and it just attacked them.

Come on. Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly what happened. There were cameras on that cart, too. There are literally cameras attached all over that cart, and they didn't catch one shot of being attacked? No. Come on. Damn, man, just go, wham. You all right, Uncle Barry? It looks like you're about to puke. Well, I've swallowed my damn tobacco. That will make you puke from what I've heard. Oh, yeah. I've done it. When I was in high school and I tried to chew, right? Yeah. To have actual chewing tobacco, that's the nastiest shit in the world. You better be, goddamn, close that throat. Don't swallow one bit of it because it's not going to go down easy. It's gross. Is light over there? Yeah. All right. Damn. After I got down there and checked on for me. God, his eyes look like he's been doing acid for a month. It's crazy. He's got all pupils, no eye. While Bill got over there, picked up on his trail. Let's not lose him. I can't see nothing. We're not to win. He has to be wounded. I don't see how any world's something to get through here good Lord.

He has to be wounded. Your friends just got into a terrible accident with the sheep squash. The windshield is broken. They're discombobulated. Only no one got wounded. Do you think the sheep Squatch left in the same way? I have to lose his trail. We took right up all pressure, running through that thing, going through that thick- What? We took about the day, it's all on the side. We went down to the thing and I got to the show, it's all fucking buck, and I went down the thing. I didn't see that Same thing. Thick brush. We couldn't even remotely keep- You know it would be fun to go on YouTube, watch one of these videos, and put on the closed caption that the AI does. That's true. Right on out of Dodge, It left the patch. We couldn't even keep up with it. You're saying? I don't see nothing. Look at this. What a man. You can see the round part of his horn where his horn was right here. Yeah, look at that. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This thing is seven feet tall, 800 pounds, and he's showing a circle where he thinks the horn went through.

It's the size of a dime. It's the size of a dime. Are you sure you're not just dealing with a really irritated roach? Because this doesn't seem like a thing that big would make such a small dent. No. Yeah. Wow. I think his son-in-a-bitch ran us. I'll tell you exactly what happened. Please do. He had a choice between the trap and me. He actually turned to fight. He rammed that goddamn big head and horns right in the front side of the Okay, where is the picture? Where is the photographic evidence? You're with a fucking camera crew, miced up, cameras everywhere, lights in action, all the whole nine yards. Where is the picture? It's elusive. I know. Me and Wild Bill picked right up on his tracks. It's real thick in there. We made it out about 300 yards. We just couldn't keep up with the trail. I mean, he just prattled around like right out of Dodge. I mean, plum out of Dodge. Plum out of Dodge. When's the last time you heard someone say plum out of anything? That's like from a movie in the '60s where they just like, stereotype Southerners. Well, I'm plum out of cheesecake, honey.

I'm plum out of cobbler. Plum out of dodge. We are plumb out of plums today. Slow him down none. I mean, he must be one tough hombre. Tough hombre. You're assuming he's Mexican. That's pretty racist there, buddy. Hombre. This critter is big, he's agile, and he's mean. Very agile. Yeah, he's very agile. He's right there, but you can't catch up with him. He's everywhere, but you can't get a photograph of him. He's dancing all over the place, but no one seems to shoot him. It's just... I mean, come on, guys. It's the sheep squad. I understand. This has been going on for whatever, 12 seasons, and you've never once, that I know of, photographed or had any evidence that any of these things exist, like hard evidence, except for tree markings and a dent and some guy got a... I got to hear- Scat. Scat. But you don't take that to a scientist or doctor or NASA or somebody who can test that shit. What you do is you just- Keep filming. Just keep yelling. He tore up Jack, didn't he? The Sheep Squatch war is just as bizarre as the creature itself. We heard that thing and it just shook the whole hauler.

Listen, the The whole hauler. The Whole Hauler. Get down to the hauler. Get down to the creek, boys. Get down that creek. It's a killer, and it's dangerous, and it's to be feared. But it didn't kill us, nor did it try to eat us or any other thing of the sort. This thing turned and challenged just an attack. He took his horn and run it right through the windshield, right out of it. It It took a dime and threw it at us. This thing is dangerous. This windshield ain't always-That's why this crack team of monster hunters that are all approaching 70. Probably. Yeah, except for Huck. And Buck. His body probably is 70, but his age is probably less. And they'll just find a new huckleberry. When this one ages out, they'll just get a new Huckleberry at a similar age. I think each huckleberry lasts about a season. What happened? I come running over that hill and I'll bust it across one of my breaches. Oh, he did. Oh, his pants are ripped. What? I didn't want to see that. No, I didn't either. I think I saw some dangling participles there. No. Didn't you?

So Buck's pants ripped because he's a big boy. At some point, going down that hill where they got into the car, he said he slid down on his butt because the walking wasn't doing it for him. Then even while sliding, he still managed to tumble down. His pants are ripped open in the front down one leg, and they just showed a shot where you could see his white boxers and his dangling participles. I mean, it's a good thing I have on my long underwear. You all be seeing more than what you're bargaining for. Don't make me laugh at her, Doug. This is the funny part of the show. Damn it, it's Christmas. Oh, that's funny. Forget about that old sheep scratch. Forget about that old sheep squatch. We're fine. Let's look at my balls. Let's look at my dorm pain. Let's look at the real monster in this situation. My mammoth cock. Yes, sir. Sheep Squatch has to be heard. I think we're going to take it easy, Huckaberry. I bet that son of a bitch is dinged up worse than I am. I bet he's up here someplace pulling Trapper out of his ass.

You all right there, buddy? Yeah. All right. He's up there somewhere pulling Trapper out of his ass? What does that even mean? I don't know. But also, is he now able to just jump? Yes. He's up there. Yeah, he's up there. He's gone up. He's scampered up the tree. Like a bear. Take care of him, Buck. I got him. The sheep squash may not be in our trap, but I know for sure he's in boom camp. Well, once again. Cough killing bastard. Once again, we don't get proof, but we get comedy. There you go. Dang it, squandered again. Those pesky monsters. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if they catch something next time. Speaking of next time, Brian should be back and hopefully healing by our next episode. So once again, send him some well wishes and good vibes because he's going to need them to get through another week of a yapping here at the commercial break. So send us a text or leave us a voicemail at 212 4333TCB. That's 212 433-3822. If you've got something to say, maybe like, Wow, Christina did a great job on these episodes. She's so cool and also fun.

You know, Just something like that. You can also follow us on Instagram @thecommercialbreak and slide on into our DMs there or on TikTok, where our handle is @tcbpodcast. And as always, you can also check out our website, tcbpodcast. Com, for more information on the podcast, Brian and Christie, or to demand a free sticker. All right, that is everything I have to say. So my time here is up. Thank you for listening. And I'm sorry for all the possum talk over the last week. Bye.