Transcript of Is This Landing?

You see this smile, Betty? It's not really a smile.

It's the lid on a screen. On this episode of the commercial break, I'm Trapper.

Trapper, that's what they call me. Trevor John, Md. My television show just got canceled, but I'm trying to trap some beavers. Would you like to help me? Young 13 year old boy in the middle of the woods with no parents but a gun on his shoulder. And we became fast friends and maybe lovers, but I'll get to that point in therapy later.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green and this is the King Lizard. To my lizard wizard crisp.

Enjoy holiday. Best to you, grizzly bestie, Brian.

And best of you out there in the podcast universe, King Grizzard. Yeah, and the lizard wizard.

That's right.

Taking the world by storm, apparently. Goose. King Lizard and the lizard wizard. I can never remember how to say it correctly. Krongbin, have you heard Krongbin?

Of course.

I love, I love King Lizard too.

Yeah, they just did the Fox theater for two nights. I wish I was able to go, but I'm not feeling well enough to go. But Krongbid Lo Tam.

And they donated all the money they made from that to the, to help.

The people in Asheville Storm. Good for them. Congratulations. Yeah, what a, what a fascinating band to watch.

Yes.

Like just to watch their videos are mesmerizing to me.

I've seen them live before too.

Oh, you have? I don't think I've ever seen them live.

Yeah, that Laura Lee, oh, she's so cool.

That girl, like that sex appeal just rolls off and the way that she moves.

Yes.

It's just amazing.

Amazing outfits and cool, cool wig.

You know who was the, my favorite.

Wear wigs, you know?

Yeah, well, yeah, they have to with a hair like, I mean, you can't know. You don't have hair like that naturally. Or if you do, you're like, she does.

And then the lead singer guy too. Or the lead guitarist.

Oh, the lead guitarist. That's their natural hair.

No, no, they're both.

Okay. I assumed, I assumed, but I didn't know for sure. But I thought to myself, that hair is just way too good, it's way too perfect to be real hairdouse, which.

I guess I saw it too. No, sorry. But they, I read an article that said they started doing that because then they could go out into the audience afterwards and watch the show, the rest of the shows or whatever. Like they're at a festival or.

Good idea.

Like, yeah, it's like kind of a disguise.

Yeah, that's a good idea. There's that other band that plays very similar music, and I do not understand how to say their name, Grizza. And they wear the masks and they have the, like, the big sparkly outfits on. And they are also mesmerizing to watch, too. And their music is equally. I mean, I still like Krongbin better, but I think it's equally as fascinating. It's like a wild mix of middle eastern rock, jazz, prog rock. It's really out there. If you haven't heard it, don't ask me how to spell it. Cause it's really confusing. Both those bands names I couldn't spell if you ask. K h r a u g b I n or something like that. Yeah. And a lot of new great bands hitting the scene. I feel like we went through a lull there, early, late teens, early twenties, where I didn't find a whole bunch of new music that I liked. That's probably not true because I could probably recall some of them. But now there are some really unique, talented bands that I just love listening to. And I feel like I'm in love with music a little bit now where I haven't been maybe in the last, like, I don't know, maybe during the pandemic ish, at the beginning of the pandemic, even before that, a lot of great bands out there.

So I don't know why I'm saying this to you, but I just felt like it. And then there's that Frankie Valli, who they keep running out onto stage. Have you seen this? Frankie Valley? Let me google this for you because this is highly disturbing. Everybody in the audience right now, Google or Instagram, pull over, Frankie Valley. Pull over or don't pull over. Just, you know, get a ticket. Frankie Valley. Okay, Frankie valley. Here he is. Look at how highly disturbing this is. Look at 90.

I was going to say. I thought he was elderly.

He's 90.

Is he singing that or is that.

There are so many. This is the most confusing thing in the world. I would call myself a professional lip sync finder. I know. I always know, like, if I watch our video and we are a millisecond off, I know, and it bothers me, and I have to go fix it. Like, the audio and the video married together, if we're a millisecond off. I know. I know that my lips aren't moving exactly in sync. It happens on the tv sometimes. Astrid's like, I don't even know what you're talking about. And I'm like, oh, yeah, there's, the audio's a second behind the video or whatever. I consider myself a professional lip sync finder, and I can tell. Just give me 5 seconds of video of someone singing, and if they're lip syncing, I will figure it out. And I'm sure there's a lot of people out there like this, too. I'm always paying attention to a singer's lips because, I don't know, I just like the watch that. It's always been fascinating to me. Frankie Valli seemed. The microphone seems to be picking up everything that he is doing, the way his lips are moving. But if you've now watched this, if you paused and watched Frankie Valli as of late in a live show, he's on tour right now.

He doesn't really move his mouth. He doesn't open it, but the microphone seems to be picking up exactly what little lip movement is going on. First of all, how are you 90 and singing in that register is my question. Because your voice starts to go, at some point, your vocal cards start to fray. That's just part of getting old. Just listen to my crazy, crappy, shitty voice. But then on top of that, he just looks like a dead person walking.

He does.

Like, he really does. He can't move a lot. And so many people are debating this, and Frankie came out with a statement. And also, so many people are saying, why are you keep on pushing Frankie out on stage? Clearly, he's not well. Clearly he needs to be resting and relaxing. And he put out a statement saying, there are, you know, we put on an amazing show. We have lots of professional singers and professional instrumentalists and professional stage crew and that. And he was kind of addressing the lip syncing thing, but he never really said whether or not he was lip syncing. He just said, we layer our vocals.

Well, yeah, all that other stuff. There's got to be a back.

There's somebody behind the curtain that has to be singing a little bit louder. But the other thing I've noticed is there's auto tune in there, too. It's not his natural voice. They're auto tuning him. And so. But I do think it's a little bit of elderly abuse because he's 90. He shouldn't be out there like that.

He wants to be, maybe.

Do we really, at 90, do you even know what you want? Like, I mean, honestly, let's be honest about Biden's 83. What? 83? 84. Biden's 84. And, you know, we all saw that debate. We all, we couldn't look away. It was kind of a train wreck. Because as you get older, that's just what happens. You revert back to some weird childhood stasis with your body all weird. And the reality is, for Frankie, he should be relaxing and enjoying the fruits of his labors. But I think his estate is probably saying, you could do this, Frankie. Get out there, Frankie. You're gonna love it, Frankie.

He's 90. He can't move.

He can't move his mouth. He's 90. It's like Jimmy Carter when they rolled him out there with his mouth wide open. There's like flies going in to. And I thought to myself, that's a beautiful moment for the family, but do the cameras really need to be there?

Come on. I mean, let's.

Let's give the guy some dignity. He's a fucking.

He's 100.

He's 100. He built 50,000 houses for people that needed them. I mean, the guy's a legend. It would go down as one of the best former presidents ever.

Yes.

Frankie Valli's just gonna go out as the guy who had weird lip syncing auto tune going on in the last years of his life. I don't know, go out with some dignity. That's my opinion. I don't like Frankie Valley in the four tops. I never have. I don't. Is it Frankie Valley?

Not from the fifties.

Thirties, yeah. That's the music that plays in my mom's senior citizen home. When I go in there, it's like, you know.

We'Re gonna have Alice and Shane's in ours.

I know. Yeah.

They've come to snow off the rooster.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm still alive and my kids are gonna be walking through going, what's this fucking shitty ass old music?

I know.

I mean, at least play some krong bin. I mean, come on, put it together. Get it together in here.

You know what I'm saying? Get it together in here. Get it together.

The villages?

Yeah, the villages. Oh, that village is wild down there. Have you been seeing the video coming out of there?

I mean, I've seen some to do with the politics.

It is politics. There's now like a big Harris Trump, right? There's gonna be a civil war down in the villages. But I was watching a video, it was like the villages Wednesday night, right? And the guy walks, he must walk a quarter of a mile. And it is golf cart to golf cart. I mean, inches, one inch between each golf cart, the raging party just parked. They're all out to ease, like, 515. And they're all, you know, in the restaurants, eating down in the villages before they go and, you know, snort crystal meth and screw each other to death. Bend the world over us, as our boy would say. Our boys, Johnson would say. It's just insane. I listen, I applaud it. I think it's great. I think this is what Frankie Valley should be doing. He should be riding his golf cart around, partying with those people down in the villages, because he'd be a legend down there.

He'd be, like, a legend. He'd be the hit.

Oh, he'd be getting. He'd be bending everybody over. He can't bend over, but he can bend somebody else over. They can bend over. He can get at it.

I don't know if he can move.

His hips so well.

I don't know if he's got that.

Thrusting, penetrating thing that you need to kind of get that Jean Zhang energy. But you know what I'm saying? Like, that's where he should be at, my opinion. That's where he should be. Yeah, yeah. It's like, I was reading up on the kind of, like, the touring industry, right? And how 2022 shows come back a little bit with some rules and stuff like that. People go bananas. They're buying tickets. They're spending tens of thousands of dollars to see t. Swift in 2023 and 2024. Every ticket is being bought, no matter who you are. You'd be the shittiest band in the world, and you were getting a full house because everybody wanted to come back and do something and be in this kind of social collective and feel people and touch them.

Yeah. And a lot of people actually had money to spend, too.

But 2024, starting in spring, has not been so kind to the touring industry. A lot of festivals have been canceled. A lot of shows have been canceled, including Jennifer Lopez. Like, she couldn't even get a tour. To be financially, you know, solvent. She had to cancel her tour. And so I was reading up about Pearl Jam because I like Pearl Jam, and I was reading up about their latest tour and how some people in Europe, the european shows were attended, but not as well as the american shows where it's like, sell out, sell out, sell out, sellout. They were sold out, but barely. Like, they would get sold out, like, you know, ten minutes before the show or something, that ticket sales were not as hot there because people in Europe were like, I'm not paying 400 fucking dollars to see Pearl jam. And the Pearl Jam tickets have now gotten super expensive, too, because as people get older, they get more expendable cash, they become more settled in their life. They're able to pay $500 to see Pearl Jam and Wrigley or Pearl Jam and Philly, or whatever it is. But also, they were.

There was an interview where they were asking the band, like, hey, do you still like touring? And the basis. Jeff Ament said, wrong question. And some people on this messaging board were saying that. Jeff, for almost a decade, has been saying, not my favorite part of the job. It's not my thing. I don't mind being in studio. I don't mind making music. I don't mind going out and doing a live show every once in a while. Touring, not my favorite.

It's gotta be a grind.

They've been doing it for 30 years. 30 plus years. They've been just going tour after tour after tour with few breaks. They've taken breaks, but few breaks, and now they're on another tour supporting the album. I think it's almost finished. And some people were saying, like, listen, the reason why ticket prices might be so expensive, too, is because they know they're getting toward the end of that touring phase of their career, that they might just now do special shows here and there, like a couple shows in Wrigley a year, or Eddie Vedder puts on this Ohana fest where now Pearl Jam is taken to playing every once in a blue moon. Just go to the Ohana fest. Just do Wrigley, just do Philly, just do, you know, whatever. Just do these special shows. And a lot, like Fish has done. They've gone from doing, you know, 280 nights a year to, like, I don't know what it is, 40, 60 nights a year. But they're all events, and people like to go to them, and they, you know, they. They want to see them.

Special thing.

Special thing. They don't have to be out the road so long. They don't have to, like, expend so much energy. They don't have to get, you know, plane, bus, cab, whatever. Limo, whatever it is. And so that seems to me to be, like, a natural. Let's wind it down. These guys are in their fifties now. Pearl jam is. They're in their fifties. So. So is fish. They're in their fifties. They're lucky they're all still alive. You know, as the song would say, they're lucky they're all still alive. This just seems like, to be a natural wind down of age.

Like, hey, until you hit 90.

Yeah, until you hit 90. That's right. But I mean, back down the road, like, if you're 90 and you're Eddie Vedder and God love all those guys are still alive. I think Jeff Ahman is closer to 60, actually. I think he might be 61 years old. If they're all still together, like, get together every once in a blue moon, play the villages or, you know, whatever. Like, play a good play of show that you unite for. But to be out on tour like Frankie Valley is, I mean, the guys that are in their fifties don't even. Don't even think that's kosher. They're starting to wind down, too. He's in his nineties. He shouldn't be doing a 60 night tour. That's fucking insane. There's, like, those eagles at the sphere. I noticed there's not so much footage coming out. You remember when the dead played and every other fucking reel was about how, you know, rich people went to the sphere to see the dead night after night after night and fishe every fucking video on my Instagram for two weeks was nothing but fish sphere. And then who were the first ones?

The cool visual part, which the sphere is very. I mean, that's the main attraction, is the visual. Yeah.

Part of it. You can see your favorite band that.

I do wonder when I was there, because I did get one of those dead nights, but I did wonder when I was there, I was like, what are the Eagles gonna do?

Well, I saw one.

You could do a big hotel California. California. Or, like, driving down life in the fast lane. I don't know, but that's. I can't think of anything else you could do.

They did like, you know, hotel California. They did like, you know, coastal views or something or that's what I was reading for a boys of summer. It's like two people in a pool doing, like, a, you know, a robo. What do they call them? Aqua ballet or something like that.

Yeah.

Not exactly, like, the most stunning. Now then again, I don't know if the Eagles crowd is taking lsd and, you know, drinking special k and just getting themselves fucked beyond belief, where a lot of the other shows you might. But, you know, the Eagles have been on a goodbye tour since 1999. And if you think that's a fucking joke, go look it up. They really have. It's crazy.

They keep on going, laughing about that. Because I said, why do people keep saying farewell tour or goodbye to her? He's like, I know people are just like, this is the last show.

Maybe yeah, maybe. Yeah, that's what we're going to say.

Our final show.

Final tour, maybe.

Final maybe show.

Yeah, maybe our final show.

You want to get the tickets while.

They'Re still on sale, which they will be. Don't worry. Yeah, I don't get it.

But hey, listen, I'm not.

But far beyond me to tell people how to make a living. But I, you know, I think the Pearl jam thing sounds. Listen, if you think I'm going to be doing this show at fucking 90, you're right. Because we get about $50 per episode.

And if I want to keep my.

Kids in school and my wife and I want to be fed, then we're going to have that.

Because your youngest will just.

My youngest will be seven.

And then I'll still have to get her through high school. It's kind of true. I have so many kids at such an old age.

I mean, I'm not old, whatever. But, you know, you get. The point is, I didn't have them at 20. I waited till later on in life. I waited until I found my dearly devoted.

Beloved.

Beloved. Sorry. That I was devoted to.

All right.

And speaking of, for the last two episodes we've been doing John's on. We're trying to get to it. We're hoping he makes a point in anything.

He's. I know he's finally starting to talk about meeting a girl. Speaking to a woman.

Meeting a woman after 30 minutes of babbling nonsense. Yes.

Philosophizing, rocking chair philosophy, telling us how.

He'S going to avoid talking about social issues. While talking about social issues.

You know, just skirt around them.

Just skirting around them. Just go around them. The guy is basically just bullshitting his way through the first half of this. He's now finally getting to some meat and potatoes that a poi artist, I would imagine, should, which is telling people how to pick up women. And so we feel like we're going to give this a shot. We're going to give it another two segments, probably another twelve minutes of zon talking, and we'll see if he can make a point. Now, don't blame us, blame us if this goes sideways, we'll try and make the best of it. Okay? You're getting episodes. Even though I'm probably at my neck cut open and Chrissy's still hungover from Mempho three weeks later. We need that. We need to get that z biotics really quickly.

Yeah, we do.

No shit. Sorry I couldn't perform that miracle before you left. But anyway, we'll talk about that more in November. Okay, let's take a break, and then we'll be back with Jean. Jean.

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All right, let's see where he goes with this. Jean Zahn.

He revealed, because his stage name is Zahna, so. But he revealed throughout the course of his ramblings earlier that his first name is actually John.

John.

And his middle name's on. So John's on.

John's on.

John.

That's what his parents named him.

Hot spare.

All right, let's do it.

Hot swap.

And that's all you need.

He just got done saying. He went did. All you have to do is go up and talk to a woman and declare convincingly, I find you attractive and I wanted to meet you.

Aristotle's first principles are start with what you know is true. So by saying to yourself, that girl's attractive.

That's true.

Saying to yourself, I want to go meet that girl. That's true. And then just go up to her and tell her those two things. You're hot. I want to meet you. I'm going to power down now.

Ack acknowled.

So I'm watching the time here. I'll get some water.

I'm watching the time. You're trying to figure out how much bullshit you have remaining.

Let me drink some water. That'll kill 3 seconds, by the way, Ben there, done that on stage bed.

Never done that. You know, you've lost them.

They're nowhere.

You're confused, you don't know what you're saying.

And you're like, well, let me take.

Six big gulps of water into the microphone and that should settle things down a little bit.

I wonder if they could see the.

Incredibly big armpit stain of sweat, my dark blue shirt.

Is this landing with you guys?

Yeah, cuz I haven't heard a word.

Out of anybody, out of any three of you.

Neither of you has said anything. How are you feeling?

Hundred percent, said one guy. Did you hear that? One guy said 100%. Okay, let's listen again, real close.

Is this landing with you guys?

No, they said, yeah.

Wait, he said 100%. Did he just fart?

He just testified. I'm fascinated by the concept of. I'm writing another book right now.

Go back to meeting women.

Yes.

Ah, me playing here with you guys.

Anyway, briefly here, I'm writing this book. I've been struggling with it for a long time. I've got a lot of notes and a lot of words written, and I see it in my head. And if I can get this book out the way I feel it, that I'm envisioning it, I will love it probably more than the alabaster girl. I would love it so much if I get this book out of me.

But however, I keep playing mortal Kombat.

I can't stop playing romanian mortal kombat. Call of Duty on my computer. Barbara, Barbara, get my book of notes about my book. I could see just like, like that.

Paper pile in our studio.

Just like a pile of papers with random notes. Aristotle, rocking chair, Annabestor girl. Oh, I already wrote that one.

Prolific. I'm not a blogger, I don't write a bunch of essays, right? So I pick at it and look at it, but I think I'm gonna break it into two books. Into two books.

Oh, great.

Yeah.

I can't wait to hear more rambling.

Because I'm writing this. I want to write a. It's two different concepts. One is the concept of men. What I'm talking about here now, a man talking to his younger self. What I would have liked to hear from that future self.

Where's the Amazon pre order link?

Please, please tell us about your goals.

Okay, now tell us about book number two. I bet he never gets around to it, you know?

So I'm thinking about breaking it into two books, the idea of self help, which is imagine this. We didn't have self help in all of history.

Oh, my God. You are so wrong about this. I know how to win friends and influence people or something like that. How to influence people and win friends. I forget how you said it. That was written by Rockefeller. Was it written by Rockefeller? I think so. Like 100 years ago.

Do you think Jesus Christ might have been about south hell? Jesus Jones, have mercy.

That is the dumbest statement you have said so far. And there's been a couple doozies.

It's new, I think.

I think that sounds like us.

Yeah.

Brian Green giving a speech.

The concept of podcasting started in May.

Of 2020 when commercial break broke new ground.

Is it not new?

I think, I think, I think.

What's her name? It's Krongbin, isn't it?

I think I actually looked it up because I kept on calling it Karaga bin.

We have this idea that before I can be standing on this earth as a well rounded, confident man, I have to resolve my childhood, because my childhood sucked, had all this abuse and all stuff happened to me, I've got to resolve my childhood. So I have to go to therapy. I have to medicate, which is our modern theme.

He looks like he's.

But he really does. Those eyes have not opened more than half masked the entire time.

Give it this way. There has never been a happy childhood in any culture in any century.

What? Geez. That's kind of a depressing statement.

I mean, you're right, but that's kind of a depressing statement. I think childhood in general is rough.

Because it's dev developmental and you go through rough periods where you just don't know what to do with yourself, who you are, what the world around you means. It's not meant to be easy, dude.

That's why therapists are therapist.

All childhoods were broken. The children were hungry. Disease, famine, migration. Mother can't feed herself because she's feeding the children. Sister gets dragged away and raped. Dad gets dragged off to war.

What? What a depressing view. No, I was thinking more about my dad. He didn't love me when I scored that goal.

I know, right?

He was at the game.

Second game of the playoffs at U seven.

Soccer.

Didn't know. Happy childhoods in all of history, we're the first generation that says, I have to resolve. I have to come to terms with it. All other children in history said, okay, that sucked. I'm out. I'm out of here, man. They go build cities what?

Have you built your city yet, Chrissy?

No, I have not.

You know what?

I built this city. I built this city on rock and roo.

We're the only ones that naval gaze and say, no, no, no. How come? Nurture me, nurture me. We're the only generation that does that. Imagine this. You say to me, oh, yeah. I went on an adventure. I traveled. I backpacked across Europe for a year. That's not an adventure. You went from ATM to ATM and you could all call mom if you.

Run out of money.

I have no idea where we're going, but now I think we're not going to get a point.

I mean, it's funny, we were rooting.

For you, almost had a point, and.

Then you started talking about your two part book. Yeah, and you only had one part.

And now you're talking about going from ATM to ATM on a backpacking through Europe. That's an adventure.

Adventure doesn't need to be qualified by danger. Dude, that's not it.

Yeah.

300 years ago, those young men would go into the sea in a wooden ship. They had no medical insurance. They didn't have their savings saved up. They just went one way. They don't know where they're going. We have to have everything all plotted and planned and comforted. Comfort.

Comfort.

So the second part of my book is dedicated to learning how to build a ship to go one way somewhere.

You know, sans medical insurance.

Medical insurance. ATM's and pussy comfort.

We have so much comfort around us, and we complain the most, and we. And we say, I'm a victim and I need counseling. And I'm not against, you know, careful counseling where it's needed. Right.

Right. Am I right?

Yeah. Is this landing?

Are you all in therapy yet?

Careful, careful counseling.

Be careful with the counseling. It gets dangerous out there.

Careful counseling.

Careful counseling.

Like he's qualified to tell you what to do.

I know, but I tell you, self help. 20 years ago, I said the number one genre of books in the world is romance novels. That was true back then. You know what it is now? Self help books. Everybody's got those books on their shelf, and you can always buy another one. You don't read them.

So before 2020.

Yes. Before 2020, before 2003, there was no self help.

No self help.

None.

It was romance.

Zero. And the number one was bromance novels with Fabio on the front cover.

Because I got the answer right there. Right within. I have it there. Or this one? Yeah, this one. And I'll buy this one, too. And we have little affirmations and a little Facebook thing. Stick on.

I bet HarperCollins is knocking down this guy's door to get at this book concept.

$10 million advance on this concept.

Yeah.

You got a huge advance.

Yeah.

You don't need it. You know what?

Wait, hold on. Would Pua, would seduction coaching, would romance set up. Whatever you fucking call it that makes it sound a lot more slick than it is. Wouldn't all of those books, videos, cassettes, seminars, conferences, wouldn't those fall under the self help category?

Yes.

Yes.

I had a broken childhood. I won't even go into that. I was. I left home when I was 13.

You already told us. You just told us. I think this guy's to check his parathyroid.

He needs to check thyroid.

I think he's got high calcium.

I went into the wilderness.

I'm not even gonna go into it. But you're gone into it.

Yeah.

I'm not gonna even go into it.

Because I just went into it.

But here's what happened.

Yeah, but here's what happened. I went into the wilderness at 13. At the wilderness.

In my suburban home in Michigan, between the seven and eleven and my school, there were some woods.

And I went in there.

The wilderness.

The wilderness.

I've been into the wilderness, too. The wilderness. That's like the appalachian trail in Maine.

Is the wilderness already in the wilderness? I went further into the wilderness. No electricity, no running water. Had a knife on my side, a rifle on my back.

A 13.

Yes. By the way, I have never been.

Rifle on my back and my rifle.

On my bag, knife in my pocket.

I'd be like Davey Crockett.

Davey.

Davy Crux. It king of the middle old woods.

Next to his house.

1313. By the way, I have never been into any farm, forest, ever, where there's running water or electricity. I think that's why they call it the forest. Otherwise you're at the magic kingdom.

As a kid. Teenager, and I helped a trapper named John Terry run a trap line. That's what I did.

A trapper named Trapper ran away and helped and assisted a trapper.

A trapper.

The wilderness.

Run of a pound of cocaine.

I know how to survive in the wilderness. I had to start a fire with my hands. Know how to catch a fish with my hands.

To catch a fish with your hands.

Have you seen those people?

The mud? Yes, mud. Whatever they call them.

Oh, my God. Yeah, the catfish thing.

Yeah, that's. Oof. Why?

I don't know.

Just leave him alone.

Why are you sticking your fist down? Why are you sticking your fist in a fish mouth. I don't get it.

200 miles away from any civilization.

200 miles away from civilization.

I call bullshit.

Bullshit?

Yes.

Nothing but a knife and a weapon on your back and a rifle in your back.

How did you get there? Did you take a cab? Cause you know how long it would take you to walk 200 miles into.

The woods at the least by yourself at 13. Then that's when you find the trapper.

Yeah, that's.

Hey. Just 13 year old Johnson with my.

Gun and my knife and my shitty drawers for me? Yeah.

Oh look there. Yay old ye man. Hey friend.

Hey.

I'm Trapper. Trapper, that's what they call me. Trevor John, Md. My television show just got canceled but I'm trying to trap some beavers. Would you like to help me? Young 13 year old boy in the middle of the woods with no parents but a gun on his shoulder. And we became fast friends and maybe lovers but I'll get to that point in therapy later.

200 miles. 200 miles.

Are you kidding? That's from me.

That's here to pass making. That's here to Savannah.

Yeah.

Where in the world were you? Canada. Like in the north of Canada.

No, I'm not 260 miles away. Sorry.

Oh.

I get those numbers mixed up all the time. I even call bullshit on 60.

I say 6 miles away from civilization.

Enough way there was. It's a major trip to go into town to get supplies and I helped with the traffic.

A 60 miles journey. That's six days, dude.

I mean if you're walking, that's six days.

My formal education ended at 13. I have not gone to school since 13 years old.

Well, it doesn't show.

Well, I know that might explain some things here.

I'm an uneducated bum. I was a homeless bum too for a long time. As I was traveling at 18, I looked around and realized there's no girls. I got to get out of here. I love girls.

I love ladies. I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue here in 3000 miles into the wilderness because I love large lady lumps. I looked at Trapper and I said, you don't have a vagina. I'm outski. I'm gonna start my 300 year hike out of these woods.

And I came out into the world and I was completely unequipped socially. I was the most needy hanging out.

With trapper for five years.

I don't know trapper, but I could.

Only be in the wilderness.

In the wilderness, 600 yards from your house.

Can you imagine you're being your parents.

And he's like, where did John Zahn go? I just saw him. He's in the front of the neighborhood with that weird old guy who pretends he's trapping beavers. We live in Detroit. There's no beavers.

It's the most needy, petty. Sticky.

Sticky. What happened out there?

What happened out there in the wilderness?

He might have been at a party in the woods.

Yeah, that's true.

I've been 200 miles in the wilderness.

I was really only five, but it fell 200 miles away.

Jealous guy. Because I didn't know how to sticky sticky.

I didn't go to Sticky icky University.

Or college to get some social understanding. I didn't know. I got my understanding from movies, which is romantic comedies, you know, which is the guy, the nice guy always wins at the end.

And who was he watching the romantic comedies with? The trapper. First of all, they didn't have electricity.

No electricity, no running water.

Things aren't adding up.

But we had a wilderness movie theater that was built by the bears. And every. Every Friday, all of the wild creatures would get together on a big log.

They loved rom coms.

And they would put the projector up against the trees, and we would watch. Oh, God. We would watch shallow hal together.

I came out of the wilderness not having any social skills, just only having watched rom coms.

Rom coms with trapper. Yeah. It makes himself sound like one of those wolf boys that they found in Canada that was raised by wolves. Yeah, but they had DirecTV, I guess. I'm not sure.

So I was really that guy. And I. Yeah, it's embarrassing, you know, back. You know, the movie hitch where he's. Yeah. He's looking. He flashes back to his college days, and he's got braces, and the girl's getting into the car with the cool guy, and he's, like, leaning against the window crying, I'll be there for you. I saw that in the movie theater, and I was like. Because I did the exact same thing.

How convenient for the story. Now, listen, I love a good yarn, too, and I tell a good yarn, all right?

So I'm not casting dispersions, but I do have to say that.

I mean, I think I wrap it up right.

I started at the beginning, and I think might take me a while.

And a point.

Yes.

63% of the time, I wrap up my stories. I meant 16% of the time. Sorry. Okay, let's take a break, and then.

We'Ll come back with what has got to be our final segment with Jon Zahn.

I've lost all faith. There's no chance he's getting to way.

Off the bat into the wilderness with this story, if you will.

Okay, we'll be back.

Call me, beat me if you want to reach me at 212433 tcv. If you have any comments, questions, compliments or content ideas, that's 212-43-3822 you can also find us on the interweb@tcbpodcast.com which is where all of our audio and video lives. So check it out. And then while you're at it, you can follow us on Instagram hecommercialbreak and on TikTok ecBpodcast. That's all for now, so let's have a listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

Whoa. All right. We'll get to that on a different episode. Yeah, we'll let those details come out. We keep the news on sometimes in here and breaking news, but I don't even want to talk about it because we're with Jean Zahn. So here we go. All right.

I have an image of me. I'm not kidding. This is embarrassing to say, but I have exact same thing. I'm crying. Probably 20 or 19 or something. She's getting on the back of a motorcycle. This girl I was dating getting on the back of a motorcycle with some cool guy. And he's like, who's this guy? Who's this loser? She goes, I don't know. Let's go. And I'm crying.

I don't know. Let's just go.

Yeah. She's like, I have no idea. He came out of the woods behind the bar all sticky.

I was like, hey, dude, you okay? And he was like, I love girls.

And I'm saying, I know. I'll be here for you when you come back. Yeah. I was the quintessential nice guy. Who's.

That's the way you want to think of yourself. I tend to think that he might have been the quintessential weird guy.

Yeah, weird guys started getting weird thoughts about women, started following random paws around. You picked up the wrong book, dude.

You picked up the wrong self care book.

You should have gotten something like Dwayne Dyer or something. Start easy, go easy.

And so I'm talking to that young guy. He doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to buy into any of the modern discourse. There's a better beautiful message. My thesis. Well, I'll say it this way. Nietzsche said, God is.

Nietzsche said, I ended my education at 13.

But Nietzsche said, I mean, that's not to say you have to be educated to know things because he does seem like a well spoken human being who.

Knows quoting the Bible. Aristotle from Aristotle, Nietzsche.

And everybody knows his quote, right? And we think, okay, well, Nietzsche was affirming my atheist beliefs. Yeah, he's an atheist, too. Nietzsche was a staunch atheist. But the rest of the quote is this. He said, God is dead. God will remain dead. I. And we have killed him. So what he was really saying, get ready. Because when you strip God and the transcendent out of modern society.

And this has to do with lucky.

Yes. These guys are probably like, I'm in the front row.

I can't leave, mom.

I want to tell you now, I used your credit card to buy a ticket to this conference, and I'm really sorry.

I'm going to try and desperately get my money back. Can I come home? It's call of duty. Still on the computer. Mom. Mom.

And he was an atheist, but he knew the saving grace and the salvation of community that the concept of God and the transcendent had for communities around the world. You strip it out and look, we have today political unrest, relationships, you know, antagonistic sense of the belonging.

Right? Politics has never been happening before.

Now if only everybody read the entire quote from Nietzsche, things would not be so bad.

Ancient Romans. I mean, that's like.

Yeah, the point is not the point. You almost made a point and then you just missed it. All together.

We used to have.

Everybody wants to romanticize what we used to have, but the truth is that it was bad then, too. If that's the way that you looked at life, it was bad, then, yes, things are tense and shitty. Shit is bad, but that doesn't mean that all is lost. And that's the problem, I think, with some of these ideologies, is that all is lost. But I have the answer, and that is a certain type of ego driven bullshit that I just don't buy into. You make the choice about how you see the world and what you choose to put out there into it, and I'm just going to go around the rest of the issues. I made your joke twice.

That's why we have this turmoil today in this. This angry discourse, because of Nietzsche's quote. My thesis is that.

God is dead, and God will remain dead because we killed him.

It's hard. The alabaster girl came out of my experience, 100% my experience. For ten years I wrote that book. And the whole time I was writing it, I never read a book. And I love books. I go to an airport.

I forgot that part of the story. Ten years. He didn't read a book.

I didn't read a book for ten years.

Wow. That was working on my book.

And then another ten years, and then an additional ten years, and then I wrote my book, and I read it.

And I said, hey, that's not half bad.

So now my entire bookshelf is filled with the alabaster girl. I'm gonna have to read some of this.

I know.

See what it's all about.

A lot of bookstores. I'd go into a bookstore, and I'd been there for, like, three minutes. I'm like, I felt guilty because I should be working on my book and not. And I also didn't want to influence it anyway, so I didn't read a book for ten years. I'm no kidding.

And I also haven't listened to another.

Podcast in four or five years.

I dumped it out of my system, and it was like. It was vomited out of me, and I was empty. I did public speaking for the next two years after that. I'm like, I have nothing to say.

Yeah, you still have nothing to say.

And I'd start to tell a little story or anecdote, and people in the audience go, yeah, yeah. As I'm saying it, because they read it in my books, and I have stalled. So whoops. As you can tell, I don't talk about whoopsie.

He's breaking out the best of us, but he forgot the lyrics.

Anything. I know. I'm talking about what I'm interested in knowing, what I'm curious about right now, what I'm thinking about when I sit in my rocket chair. This is what I'm thinking.

That's cool, Chrissy. This is an hour and 15 minutes long. Unbelievably, three episodes in, we are just.

Now reaching the halfway point.

Oh, my God.

Giving you another five minutes to make a point, and then I'm done. I wouldn't be able to stay awake during this.

I really wouldn't.

I'd be like, if you weren't here laughing with me, I would be like.

Nietzsche said, God is dead, and what? We have the symptoms.

What's that?

Think about the poor people there in the audience.

I know. I feel like he went from Poi to, like, you know, benevolent patriarch. Like he's trying to be some master guru, right? That people are following on his thesis. Yeah, he's working on a fiefdom is what he's working on now. My fief.

The symptom of our modern times is that we've. We've turned her face away. This is my. What I 100% believe we've turned her face away in all things. In art, in architecture, in relationships, in politics. We've turned our face away from beauty, and we celebrate ugliness.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

In art and architecture, we've turned it away from you. Turn away from beauty. Everything's ugly.

Art, for example.

Uh oh.

Where's Arthur? Is he here?

Where's art? He's ugly, right? Art, that's terrible.

He's just the first art that I know, and Arthur's not there.

Yeah, I know, but the other thing is, is that Arthur, short for art.

Is short for Arthur.

Everything's ugly art, for example. Where's Arthur? Look at him.

It used to be about the art to show you something, to give you a transcendent experience into something beyond. And now it's all about the artist. How can I shock you? Look at me. Celebrate me. Our symptom of our. Of our self medicated, victim, me, me generation.

Oh, now you're just sounding like an old man, bitching and complaining, dude.

So we've turned. Art now is like shit on a stick or. Tracy Emmons unmade bed bought by the Tate museum in London for €2000. No, €2 million.

I was about to say 2000 doesn't.

I wouldn't even get out of the unmade bed, but 2 million.

Well, 200 or 60. Never mind. Okay, wait, 2000. No, wait. 2 million.

2,062,472.

There you go.

€2 million, her unmade bed. She said there's some vodka bottles and a used condom, and she sold it to the Tate museum. Still there. Used condom, gathering dust and some mold on it and stuff, because they paid 2 million pounds for it. So it's.

Yeah, but this is someone's interpretation of art. It's someone's interpretation of art. It's always been that way.

Yeah.

When some, you know, when whatever.

Da Vinci rolled out a guy with a big schlong, people were probably like, why are you putting a big guy.

With a schlong out there? But now it's the most, you know, one of the most beautiful pieces of art ever. There's a. This has always been that way.

Van Gogh died poor.

That's right. Artists are always celebrated after they're dead because people find. The more and more people find the beauty in what they did, and the feeling that it gives them an unmade bed, to me, gives me a feeling of OCD. So for me, I wouldn't choose to look at that. But for a lot of people, it might symbolize a long night or it might symbolize that lover that left you or whatever. You know what I'm saying, chrissy?

I do.

Now.

I'm trying to, now I'm trying to.

Answer back to Zaun. I've been roped in thoroughly.

Look at me. Look at me. Notice me. Look at me. And art used to be about giving you an experience to connect to the transcendent, the divine. I don't care if you're religious or not. I don't care if you believe in God or not. All, here's the thing. Whether you're Buddhist or Muslim, Christian, atheist, you know what the common denominator we all have?

They all want money.

We all have the longing for beauty. We all get a tear when we see a painting that moves us.

And what does that have to do with which religion you are?

All right, we tried.

We gave it all. We got shots. A forever, Chrissy. A forever. I feel proud of us. I feel that we lasted this long into John Zanjan. And for the break, the fourth wall a little bit. All done in one day. So Chrissy and I have literally been listening to this guy for like 4 hours straight. Of course, we drag it out that long. We probably could have just listened in 1 hour and then made commentary later.

But that's not how we do it.

Here at the commercial break. We go around the easy way.

True.

Why take the shortcut when you could take the highway and get in traffic? All right, well, John Zahn, best of you, my friend. Best to you. I love you as a human being. I love you one human being to another. I hope you're doing well.

Do that thesis, find.

Get that thesis. Do those two books, you know, Lord of the Rings one and two or whatever you're working.

Whatever that is.

Like middle earth talk.

Yeah. What is it?

The Iliad in the odyssey? I hope. I hope you get around to it, bud.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

All right.

Hey, listen, you know, over the next couple of weeks, you're gonna hear some best of s. You're gonna hear some mixing, maybe an episode from Tina from.

Last year and for a bastard, and I don't know. We're going to get it done.

We're going to. We're going to pull through this together. I really appreciate all of the support, love and the grace that you have given me after we canceled the shows and I announced that I'm pretty sick, but I'm going to get better. You are prognosis is good. Everything is going to be wonderful. So to all of you, love you, mean it. And we'll be back just as soon as we can. I mean, you're going to hear fresh episodes, so don't worry about not going. You're going, you're not going to notice, but we're going to notice. So I will update you when we update you. 212433 TCP 212-43-3822 questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, we take them all at that phone number. Dial us up, text us, leave us a voicemail. We would love to hear from you. I want that voicemail full by the.

Time I get back.

Yeah, tcbpodcast.com all the audio, all the video and your free sticker at the contact us button. I want my free sticker. Give us your address at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok and YouTube.com. the commercial break all right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for October.

But I'll tell you that I love you. Best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we always say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.

I get ass.