Transcript of Wobblin' Gobblin' Wishbone

Hey, Christie. Best to you. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. It's the holiday season, and a lot of times, podcasts like ourselves will take off. But not us, Christie. We have bills to pay and miles to feed. So we are going to be producing brand new episodes of the Commercial Break this entire holiday season. And I thought it was important to let our audience know.

Jingle, jingle all the way home.

Jingle, jangle, your dingle-dangles. Stick with the Commercial Break and stay tuned for the 12 Days of TCB, our first ever 12 Days of TCB. That's right. December 13th through Christmas Day. Brand new episodes every day. Happy gubo, gubo, Thanksgiving Day. Beans, greens, pottletoos, tomatoes, lamp, ram's, hocks, mobs, beans, greens, pottletoos, tomatoes, chicken, turkeys, you name it. 2024. On this episode of the Commercial Break. I love that wishbone. I love that wishbone. Never once did a wish come true, but man, I love that wishbone.

It's just the wish of the wishbone.

Yeah, it's the hopeful nature of the wishbone. It's the thought that maybe something would... Maybe something would break your way for once. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Yeah, guys, I'm Welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Gobble to My Gobble, Chris and Joy, only best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Happy Thanksgiving to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Happy Thanksgiving. Thanks for joining us. Hope you're just having a wonderful day with the friends, with the family, with all those people that you dislike but see once a year. You're going to have to clean up your house. The kids are running around. The Thanksgiving Day parade is driving you crazy. It's that time of Yes, it is. It's officially the holidays. And man, do I love a good Thanksgiving day? I just do. I'm just a big- I know. Thanksgiving guy.

I think a lot of people love it.

Yeah. I was telling Christina when I was having a conversation with her, fourth of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my favorite three days of the year.

There you go.

Because I lost my virginity on fourth of July. I think that's why. But But Thanksgiving Day, I just love it. I will be watching the Thanksgiving Day parade and Christmas movies and the Kennel Club, the Kennel Show, and I'll be doing all of it. Probably eating, hoping I don't get Salmonella this year. The gift that keeps on giving through the entire holiday season and putting aloe all over my face, hoping it doesn't melt off during the meal. I'm hoping I'm not going to disgust anybody at the meal. I'm not thinking it would be good. My face is on fire. It's really red right now, but whatever. I'm just doing some chemotherapy, Christie. Just some chemotherapy for Thanksgiving. So happy Thanksgiving to everybody. I hope it's going well. I can't wait to hear your Thanksgiving stories. That's all I request of you on this Thanksgiving. Let me start by saying this. We are extraordinarily thankful for all the listeners out there who are with us, brand new, stuck with us through the years.

100 %.

Yeah. I even know a couple of you have been here since the very beginning. I don't know why, but okay.

All Thank you.

I'd say if you're here after episode 350, 400, I can maybe understand a little bit why. But if you're here since episode one, I have no clue in the world why you would have made it the first 100 episodes. But God bless you. Thank you to you. I give thanks. I am grateful for a lot of stuff this year. My family, my dear friends, my health. Absolutely. The health and the people who made me more healthy, like the doctors who caught it and the doctors who took care of it. And that's That's one thing I certainly am going to be saying thank you for this year because, wow, has my life changed in just short order? It's insane how quick I got better.

That's amazing. Hopefully, you read a good review for that doctor place.

I did. I will give it a shout out again. I think I talked about it. I don't really remember what I talked about first couple of days after the surgery because I was so high. I really was. I was just so high on thyroid hormone. But thank you to the Norman Parathyroid Center, surgical center down in Tampa, Florida, the world's number one parathyroid surgery, endocrinology surgical center for parathyroid problems. They are the best. They do it the most. They took great care of me, Dr. Mitchell, down there. That, too. Cut me open and made sure I got stitched back together without a lot of effect to my voice and just some mild side effects that I think could be expected from any surgery in that area. So thank you to Dr. Grateful for Dr. Mitchell and the Norman Parathyroid Center. Again, grateful to all of you out there. What is the Thanksgiving tradition, Christie, that you look forward to every year? Do you guys have a tradition, like something you do every year that you really enjoy joy you look forward to?

No.

Okay. All right. And thank you for joining us on this episode of the Commercial Race.

We don't have something that we do every single year. I think the Macy's Day parade definitely is up there with watching that. And yeah, I think football.

Football games. Yeah, okay. We will probably turn on the football. This year, the football will be on Netflix, so I probably will be watching it intermittently in 2K. I'll be watching it in 1K. Yeah, we'll see how they manage to fuck that up because that's going to be live also. It's amazing that they actually managed to score the rights to those Christmas Day games. I thought that. You would have thought that the big networks would have said, This is like one time a year. Talk about a tradition. Yeah, talk about a tradition, a CBS Thanksgiving football. I mean, I think that's where it was at anyway. But NBA on Christmas Day, football on Thanksgiving, college football on New Year's Eve, that's what you think of. Masters on Easter. That's what you think about, right? And so it's just amazing to me that they lost those rights. And it just signals how big and powerful and benevolent Netflix has really become in the entertainment industry for all things content. Now, they need to get it right. That's what they need to do. If they should fuck up the football, which I would imagine there will be more people watching this football than even watch the Jake Paul fight.

60 million people tuned in live to the Paul Tyson fight. I'm going to imagine somewhere between the two games, around 100 million people will tune into that across the world at any time.

It's a big deal.

It is a big deal. So let's see how they do. I'll be here to report on it. You know I'll be here with blood hanging off my fangs if Netflix fucks it up Because they need to get it right, and we need to make sure they get it right. We pay too much money for them not to get small details like that. How can CBS figure that out 100 years ago? That's what I thought, too. And Netflix can't figure it out today. I mean, it's all pretty much the same. I realized that the signal now comes through... It used to come through the over the air, right? It was a whole different animal back then. As long as you were with an eyesight of a tower that was sending a signal, you didn't have congestion problems. But it's all working the same way now. It's all coming through some service, some Internet-based service or coax cable. They managed to get it right. Whamam. Whamam. I take a big tower and I put a thing on it that, I don't know, something happens and whamam, TV, Marconi Awards or something. The SEC and Marconi, they all got together with Tesla and whamam, color I remember reading about how that happens, but I don't know.

But anyway, Netflix. So, yeah, we'll be watching the football, too.

Family, spending time with family.

Yes, we'll give thanks. Maybe we'll run out in the backyard and throw the football if the weather is nice, it looks like, at least when we're recording this right now, it will be raining on Thanksgiving Day. And that's okay, too. A good rainy Thanksgiving Day. Why not? It'll be cold and rainy and sit inside. Maybe we'll build a fire. That's usually when we get our first fire of the year.

Oh, a good fire.

Yes, I haven't had my chimney swept yet.

I miss a fireplace.

You do? Yeah. I think that I've always wanted a fireplace everywhere where I've lived. It's one of the first things I look for. A sunroof in a car, a fireplace in a house. If I don't have one, I feel like I miss it. But then when I have one, it feels like a big pain in the ass. You know what I'm saying? I don't have a gas fireplace. For me, I have to build an actual fire, and it usually gets smoky in the house because it just does, and it's annoying. So maybe five times a year.

We have a fire pit, so maybe I'll get out there with the fire pit.

Yeah, fire pit. Why not? Do that. What are you going to have for Thanksgiving? What are you going to be cooking as we're speaking?

Well, we're actually just ordering stuff this year and cooking a few things. I usually do a dressing, a cornbread dressing, stuffing. All right. There's that, but we're going to do turkey man.

Cornbread dressing? Mm-hmm. Never heard of it. Is that cornbread that you put other stuff in? Yeah. What What other stuff do you put in the cornbread?

It's a whole recipe. It's been handed down from- I know, but what's in it? Is it just- Some spices, some cornbread, then there's chicken stock in it, too, and celery, onions, all kinds of stuff.

Really? Never heard of that. Okay. It's delicious. All right. I guess it's better than the oyster casserole stuffing I made one time for my wife at the time.

Yeah, not the oyster.

No. Raw oysters in a bucket that I had to like, flop into the...

Some people love it. Yeah, no, mine's that old tradition with the cornbread. I think it's pretty Southern tradition. Okay. Then we're doing Fox Brothers. Turkey, ham.

A smoked turkey, huh?

Sides, yeah.

Wow, that sounds delicious.

Pies. There's going to be quite a few pies.

I love a good pie. I can put my face in a pie. I'll be here all week.

Apple, pumpkin, and pecan.

Apple, pumpkin, and pecan. Not a huge fan of pumpkin or pecan pies, but man, do I go for an apple pie? I tell you what, Christie, that is my jam. Yeah, we'll be doing a lot of the same things. We're going to be doing the traditional, as I mentioned maybe last week, we're going to be doing the traditional Thanksgiving feast for first time in many years. So we'll see how it goes. I can't wait to hear. If I don't end up shitting my brains out the next day, I'll consider myself lucky to have survived it. I'm on a diet, so I don't know how I'm going to handle all this, but I'll wing it. I'll see how it goes. You'll make your way through it. Yeah, it's going to be hard to go through all of Thanksgiving without a lot of carbohydrates because that's the best stuff is the carbohydrates, the stuffing, the bread, the sugars, the pie crust. I mean, that's everything you want. I think I'm just going to have to put the diet on hold. I've lost a pound and a half. I can put another pound back on and it'll still be net negative.

Net negative. That's how I figured. Well, I thought what we would do is do two things. We should talk about some strange Thanksgiving traditions from around the world, not around the world, around United States, around the world.

I was going to say, I think we're the only ones that do it.

We are the only ones that do it. There are other versions of Thanksgiving in other countries, but it's not this day, and they don't say Thanksgiving. But then also talk about some of the more odd Christmas classic movies that some people might be getting into this evening because that's one tradition that I know for sure, besides the parade and the Kennel Club and the tradition of going around the table and giving thanks for a few things, we will always be watching a Christmas movie that night and probably listen to some Christmas music. That'll be the first day that I turn on the Christmas channel on Serious because I can't deal with it before then. But after we eat Thanksgiving meal, which is usually earlier in the afternoon, I do feel comfortable turning on the Christmas music. That's the time. That's when I feel it's appropriate. That's the start. All right, here we go. You ready? I'm ready. Let's talk about some Thanksgiving traditions from around the country, and we'll see if we want to pick any of these up. See, it's perfect for you because you don't have any Thanksgiving traditions. So maybe you'll listen back to this episode on Thanksgiving Day, and you and Jeff and the girls will decide, let's do that.

Like the Thanksgiving Gobble Wobble, Chrissy, where some towns and some places, they host fun runs where participants will dress up as turkeys or wear Thanksgiving themed costumes.

I've heard of this.

Combining fitness with holiday spirit, hopefully in a funny way. I have seen the Gobble Wobble pictures. As a matter of fact, I see them on Facebook, usually from older ladies on next door. They're talking about a Gobble Wobble that's close to my house. I don't think I would actually go to a Gobble Wobble, but I would look at pictures of a Gobble Wobble.

I've gone on a walk before on Thanksgiving Day.

Yes, I've been on many a gobble-wobble, but it had nothing to do with Thanksgiving, and usually after I drank. Hots of gobble-wobbles. I had sex with a girl who did the gobble-wobble on my dick one time.

There you go.

Okay. The turkey trot, of course. The food fight. A family has a tradition of staging light-hearted fun food fights. Food fight. Yeah, and calling it the turkey trot. I don't know why they call it the turkey trot. I know. But they turned the conclusion of their meals into messy, laughter-filled events by having a light-hearted food fight. Now, I am way too OCD for any of that shit.

I was going to say that would give me anxiety cleaning it up.

Yes. I would do a food fight in the shower. Or outside. Or outside, that's Then my kids would directly go into a dog bath or something like that. I would have buckets of hot water ready to douse them. There's no way that I would encourage a food fight in this house. I'm not that dad. When the kids break out the markers or the paints or something like that, Astrid has a bit more tolerance for stuff like that. But when they get into those sensory games where it's like mud or Playdough or stuff like that, I'm always hovering. I hover. I'm like, Don't get it on the... Don't do that. Don't get it on Blue. And Blue is the one who always ends up the messiest. Of all the children, I always end up washing Blue because she thinks inevitably everything's food. And oftentimes now, you know who gets into a turkey-trout food fight every night is my youngest with blue because the two of them are thick as fucking steeds. They are. They are. They love each other. And the reason why Blue loves her is because she feeds her everything that she eats. And my daughter just thinks it's like, I don't know, like a pet dragon or something.

She tries to ride her around and grabs her ears and sticks her hand in her mouth. It's a lot of fun for my daughter. But what she does do is if she doesn't like something to eat, she'll throw it under the table at the dog, but the dog just stands right directly under her. So most of the food ends up in the dog's long hair, not fur, hair. So that dog has had more baths than I have in the last two weeks, and it's driving me fucking crazy. Thanksgiving gratitude rocks, Chrissy. You could I'll get this one up. Oh, the gratitude rock. The gratitude rock. Some families will pass around a rock or a stone during dinner. Each person takes a turn sharing something they're thankful for. It's a tactile way to encourage gratitude. That's nice. But then it can lead to some awkward moments. Yes, there are family members that will be at my Thanksgiving that I would throw the rock to while they're not looking.

Your turn.

Your turn. This one's for all the immigrants. We're all immigrants. Thanksgiving Rock. I'll be goddamned if I'm going to bring a stone to any of the dinners with my children. There's no way. I know what would happen. Pine cone turkey crafting. I'm not too crafty, so I wouldn't be interested in this. Instead of traditional decoration, some families make pine cone turkeys using googly eyes, feather, and ridiculous materials. The resulting crafts can be both adorable and absurd. Who wrote this? Marie Claire? I mean, honestly.

I think I've seen some school kids bring home those pine cone things. I think I feel like I maybe did it, too. Yes.

The hand turkeys. The hand turkey, for sure. Pine cone turkeys. My kids will bring things home. I made this for you, Daddy. Yes. Which I know means I was forced to make this for you, Daddy, but I still love it. I have a whole collection of it in one of my drawers. I keep all those things that my kids get.

Well, that made me think because I was recently cleaning out a box of old stuff that my parents had kept and had given me, and I found some of those old crafts. Oh, you did? Of my own. Oh, okay. Then I threw them away.

Yeah. Who really needs the... I was the Line Leader Today certificate from third grade.

I know. I found so much stuff like that.

I don't even want to keep the yearbooks. Of course, I went on this whole- I just threw away some yearbooks, too. Oh, you did? Your own? . Yeah. Good for you.

I finally was like, It's time.

Look at you.

I was like, It's time. Why do I need my old middle school yearbook?

I don't. You don't. I was looking. I As the calcium has cleared my brain, I'm getting these memory flashbacks that I just have and things I haven't remembered in years. Or I don't know because I didn't remember them, so I'm remembering them like they're fresh memories. It's really weird, actually. They pop up, and I remembered a girl that I had dated briefly in high school, but she went to a different high school. I went online, I remembered her name, and I found her yearbook from a different high school online. Oh, yeah.

They have yearbooks on there.

Yeah, it's all online now. What do you need it for? But here's Brian, two years ago, bitching and complaining about every yearbook that we have to keep. And then I need a yearbook and I can't find it.

Of course.

The turkey dance competition where people get to each family member provides their best googly-woogly wobble dance in front of the others, and then they go ahead and you judge it, and then maybe there's a prize at the end. We like dancing here at the house. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We oftentimes, you will find us at the end of a night. We're getting into this thing called a brain break. Do you know what this is? Mm-mm. Okay, you don't because you have small children. But on YouTube, there's endless brain breaks. There are little games that you play on YouTube. So it'll be like emoji mashups. Try and guess the movie based on these three emojis. Guess the name of the movie, or who? Name the voice of this character, or they can be physical, like run and jump over the hurdles as they come towards you, right? And then there's like a little dancing competitions, too. So we will often either be playing our own music and dancing, or one of the kids will act like they're the singer, and they'll put on a show, complete with popcorn and lights and security in the whole nine yards.

That's cute. It's very cute. I love it. I've recorded a couple of them. I'll show you. But so I think turkey dance might be the one thing that maybe one of the things that we pick up from there. What about Thanksgiving karaoke? Oh, there's a good one. I like that one. Half Song, Haudley can get into Thanksgiving karaoke.

Yes. I don't know. I've never really been a karaoke person. Have you? I see the fun in it.

No, I haven't been. I don't seek it out. I've actually probably only done karaoke three or four times in my entire life.

Yeah, maybe I've done it a couple.

One time we rented an entire karaoke room down on Buford Highway. They had this very famous karaoke place, and we rented an entire... We had dinner at the place, and then we rented one of those karaoke rooms, probably the size of this studio. Big TV on the wall.

They're all over the place in Japan, right?

Four or five microphones. Yeah, now they have two or three of them here in Atlanta. Four or five microphones in the room. Then you pick this up. Literally, you could type in the song and it shows up, and it got the lyrics, and everybody takes a turn. They can videotape it for you and all this other stuff. It was really very interesting. But I found that I had to be really inebriated to get in fully into it.

There's got to be some libations going on.

Yes. Then the time that I really remember doing karaoke was live karaoke down at What was that place in the Highland? The Highlander. Oh, yeah.

At the Highlander. Yeah, that was a fun one. I didn't get it. You got up on the stage? I did.

That's where they have a band. I did rock and roll karaoke.

They have a band on stage with me. I did.

I put my name in there. I had this friend, like a friend for a minute. You know one of those guys, person you spend some time with for a month or two, and then you never talk to him again. Not because you dislike him, just because whatever. We all move on. He was an opera singer, like a trained opera singer. He took me to my very first rock and roll karaoke at the Highlander. We went, and he was the first guy to rush up and put his name in there. He sang some version of a queen song, very operatically. Listen, it wasn't my thing, but he was very talented, and the crowd appreciated the effort that he put into it. He was very operatic about his singing, dramatic and operatic and a lot of trills. I put my name in there. He goes, Put your name in there because it's likely you You won't get picked. There's only 10 people a night that get to go up there or 12 or whatever it is. I was like, okay. Metalsome. Metalsome. Is that the name of it? I think so. Metalsome karaoke. I put my name up there.

You got in. I got in. What did you sing? I sing Guns & Roses, Sweet Child of Mine, which is about six registers too high for my voice, even when I... And this was- Did you get to choose or were you just thrown? No, you get to choose. I can't remember. No, they have a book and you can choose. I think if I'm not mistaken, maybe they make you pick three songs. But the band was spot on, and the guy who was playing guitar hit every fucking lick. I was singing in a lower octave because I couldn't I started high. I had to sound like a bad Axel Rose impression. I brought it down and registered the second verse, and everybody was thrown off by that, including me. And then I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, sweet child of mine. So now I'm doing Baratone, Sweet Child of Mine. It did not go well. I mean, people laughed. I mean, people laughed. Yes. And there was even one girl who I think, took a liking to me in the front row. But, yeah, she was drunk. Listen, if I got a second shot at it, I would do something more in my register, like maybe a Pearl Jam or something, a song like that.

Something a little more in my register. I can see that. But I don't know. It was the first thing that came to mind. I saw the list and I was like, Oh, Sweet Child of Mine, whatever. I think I picked Sweet Child of Mine. Wait, I remember Sweet Child of Mine and then Allison Chains, Man in the Box. If I'm not getting this incorrect, I chose those two songs. When I got up, the guy was like, We're going to do Sweet Child. I was like, Oh, okay. Then he was like, What key do you need it in? I go, The The Natural Key. The Natural Key. And he looked at me like, See? And I was like, Yeah, C.

The natural key.

High C. I need a high C. The natural key. I meant to say the original key, but I said the natural key. Now this is all coming back to me. I love my new brain. It's working so well. It is. Yeah. And I got up there and I was so sweaty and scared. Because it's like you're at a concert. I I mean- Oh, there was 200 people in the room.

I had a guy take me on a date there. Yeah.

Yes. To go watch. Yes. It was packed. When it first started, it was like people waited outside to get in. It was like, it's a smaller room, thin, long room. And there was a couple of hundred people in there, and they were all getting into it until Brian slaughtered my child of mine. It was in C. It was in high C, but I was in low C. She's She's got eyes of the bluest skies, and if they have a breed.

Nice.

She's got eyes of the bluest skies, and if they were, were, were, street child of mine.

That's all you needed.

Oh, listen, it was a confidence booster of epic proportions. I did not take him up on the... That's probably why we weren't friends anymore because he said, Let's go back to Metalson. And I goes, Why? So you could show me up again? No, thanks, Jack hole. You embarrassed me. All right. Hope you're having a great Thanksgiving. We'll be back in just a minute with more fun and shenanigans on this holiday, on the kickoff of Christmas.

In case you guys were wondering, I am currently trapped in the closet in the studio being forced to record liner after liner, and I never get to leave. So help me by following us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB podcast, and go to our website, tcbpodcast. Com for more information about Brian and Christie, and access to our massive catalog of video and audio episodes. Now, please text us at 212-433-3-TCB and tell Brian and Chrissy to let me out of the closet. I'm Jenna Fischer. And I'm Angela Kinsey. We are best friends, and together we have the podcast Office Ladies, where we rewatched every single episode of The Office with insane behind-the-scene stories, hilarious guests, and lots of laughs.

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Oh, man. A little bit of house cleaning. So the 12 Days of TCB coming up December 13th through the 25th. We hope you join us. That's fresh episode. Fresh episodes every day. We're supposed to be here in the next episode because I don't know why I agreed to that. But all right, who cares? We'll get through it. But for the 12 Days of TCB, we're going to bringing back some of our favorite content, some of our favorite videos, some of our favorite video creators out there like Franky P and the PUAS and Theresa Caputo, Mountain Monsters, all the regular, all the usuals that we've done over the years that have really become staples here at the Commercial Break and favorites of yours. If you've got one you want to throw in the mix, if you feel like there's a segment or a content idea that we had or something that we did that just deserves a second look, go ahead and send it to us, 212-4333 TCB. Help a brother out.

Yeah, if you can remember it.

Yeah, if you can remember it. Yes, we can. Actually, I can remember. I'm up to like... I got nine days done. Those last three are really stumping me. I'm trying to decide between a few things, so I figure if the audience tells me, then maybe it'll point me in a direction. Okay. All right.

Maybe listening to TCB on Thanksgiving will become one of those weird-Thanksgiving traditions.

Yes, because it's always going to be on a Thursday. As far as I know we're contractually obligated, at least for another year, to do this on Thursdays. So there you go. Maybe it might be. And maybe we'll end up doing the Thanksgiving Day shows live. Wouldn't that be cool? Maybe your Thanksgiving, Christie, will be driving up here and we do a Thanksgiving show live.

That'll be the new tradition.

Hey, listen, it could be worse, I guess. We could be going to work at Target when they open at 07:00 PM or something.

Did all those stores still do that?

No, I think a lot of them backed off of it.

Yeah, because of online.

Yeah, I think most of them at least backed off of it enough where they said, Okay, we'll open very early the next morning, like 5:00 AM or something like that, which was not unusual anyway, because Black Friday, most stores open very early. But I do think there's a couple hangers on. I think Walmart opens at midnight or something like that. But shame on them. I mean, honestly, let everyone have- Yeah, I know. Listen, you know why Thanksgiving is also one of my favorite days of the year? Because you can go out of the fucking house in and not get stuck in traffic. Christmas Day, Thanksgiving Day, July fourth, at least until about 6:00 PM, July fourth, New Year's Day. Those are days when you can drive in Atlanta like it used to be back in the early '90s. Just not a lot of people on the road.

So maybe I do want to come up here and do a show. Yeah.

I mean, listen, if there's any day to come to a show, Thanksgiving Day might be it, right? So who knows? That's next year we're talking about this year. All right, so more weird Thanksgiving traditions from around the country. Secret Thanksgiving Having Santa. Oh, that's an interesting one. Similar to Secret Santa, some groups do exchange small gifts, silly little gifts, with a Thanksgiving twist, like a turkey-shaped kitchen gadget, a funny apron, or I'm just going to throw this one in. A turkey-shaped dildo, Chrissy. A little turkey head that goes like this on your clip. Okay. Oh, I got to tell you about something. I'm not going to say the name of this, but while we're on this turkey dildo thing, there is a potential sponsor coming on the break. Our network sells the sponsor. They vet the sponsor. They either pitch them or the sponsor comes and says, We want to be on these podcasts. Then they communicate with us. I won't say how, but they communicate with... Not that it's a secret. I just don't want to get into every little inch of it. I won't say how. Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying how because it's who cares anyway, right?

They communicate with us and they say, Hey, would you accept this sponsor on the show? And we say, yes. But we have learned over the years to be a little bit, just a little bit choosy about who comes on the show because there's a lot of sponsors who've been on the show. We have this rule. If we won't use it or don't use it ourselves or don't find it to be valuable, we won't do it. And that includes certain categories of products. But then also, even if it's a product you might or might not use, you want to make sure the company itself is one that you want to be butted up against. Right. Associated with. Associated with. So we had this company that wanted to advertise on the show or their vetting, and it was like, go here if you would do a personal endorsement of the product, check it out. It's a website, and that website is dedicated to teaching women and men how to give women an orgasm in a very clinical, not pornographic way. I was thinking, okay, drawings and stuff like that. They have drawings and they have lots of words and maybe some infographics or something like that.

It said, Click here for a sample of product. When I clicked there, it was the lady from the homepage, which I thought was stock photography. It was her, and she was giving a step-by-step instructional tutorial on how to give herself an orgasm in highly graphic detail. Really? A close-up shots, multiple camera angles, talking the entire time while she's doing this to herself in a very instructional way. Wow. Now, first of all, I thought, wow, that is really... She really just laid it all out there. Literally laid it all out there. Spread Eagle, where the sun don't shine, the sun was shining. And first of all, second of all, what a great fucking idea. Like, not a porn movie where you're trying to guess exactly how everyone's getting off because usually no one's getting off. They're doing this for the camera.

Right. They're acting.

But then a real woman showing you how she gets herself off in a manner that is instructional so that, I guess, if you were dating her specifically, then you would know. It would be like a tutorial. It's like a map to have fun. It's like a map to make sure that everyone's having a good time in bed. I loved it. I thought it was incredible. I hope they come on as a sponsor because I will absolutely... They had the four women part, and then they had the four men part, which teaches the men how to make sure that a woman This is great. This is awesome. This is what the world needs. Because if a woman can have an orgasm like a man can, meaning most of the time, then doesn't everybody feel better, Chrissy? Everybody does. I do. I feel better. I can't do it, but if I could learn how, then everything would be great. And thanks for tuning in. It's good for everyone. Thanks for tuning in to the family edition on Thanksgiving of the Commercial Break. Maybe this won't be a holiday tradition for anybody unless you're single or your family doesn't love you.

All right. Thankful for the weird is another tradition. Instead of doing the usual gratitude, some families like to turn the expression for the most ridiculous thing they can think of. Like, I'm thankful for my cat's judgmental stare. That's a good one. That is a good one. Sounds more like an Instagram post than a Thanksgiving tradition, but I like it. I like it. I'm with it. Guess the turkey wait. Oh, this is a fun one.

I've heard of that.

It's a contest where Family members guess the weight of the turkey before it's cooked. The winner gets to carve the turkey. How is that winning? I don't want to carve the turkey. My dad, as long as I can remember, has always carved the turkey when we have a turkey or the ham or whatever. Only a couple of times have I done that myself for whatever reason, because we were hosting or whatever. I'm not good at it. It's a lot of work, and I'd rather just sit and watch football and be served. I mean, who wouldn't, right? But I think that I've known a couple of men in my life who really take this very seriously. Like the turkey carving, the meat cutting is their job. They know how to do it. They'll do it well. I don't take any pride in that. I don't take any pride in much, but I certainly don't take any pride in my carving skills. The Thanksgiving Leftover Olympics. After the feast, the families compete in the most absurd challenges using leftover food like a relay race with mashed potatoes or a turkey toss with leftover turkey legs. This is another food fight thing that's not going to be happening in my house.

But I will say, when we were having traditional Thanksgiving feasts, one of my favorite, favorite leftover meals was the following. You take a little bit of oil and you fry up the leftover turkey. You put it on the skillet, you fry it, make it a little bit crispy. Take stuffing. We like the more generalize, like stove stuffing type thing, like bread stuffing, right? With some spices and some garlic, a little bit of celery. Then you heat that up in the microwave. You put that either in a hoagie roll or between two pieces of sourdough bread with a ton of mustard. I mean, just mustard it up. That is the world's best Thanksgiving leftover sandwich, Christie. For you? For me. Okay. For me. For other people that I made it for. They seem to like it. Okay. My kid It's mainly. No, I'm kidding. I like this one. A Thanksgiving roast session. Instead of sharing gratitude, family members take turn roasting each other with lighthearted jokes and playfully teasing. I love this idea.

You love a roast.

I do love a good roast. I don't like some of the more mean, mean, mean-spirited roasts. I know. But I do love watching a good roast. It does feel like fun to me to watch people knock each other down at the knees. Man, what I could, I roast some of my family members. I mean, if they had a sense of humor.

Why don't you start that this year?

Because I think that some of my family members don't have a sense of humor. Even if they'll laugh in the moment, they'll be upset about it for the entire year. Then I'll spend the next year saying, I'm sorry. I'll have to get him a better Christmas present which costs more money, which doesn't do me any good. There you go. What was the other one? Thanksgiving time capsule, which I do like. I like idea of taking stuff from the year that you're thankful for, writing it down, taking little whatever trinkets or stuff that you collected over the year, put it in a time capsule, bury it in the backyard to be dug up by...

Whoever's building the next house.

… Our ancestors many, many, many, many eons from now. Yes, the next person, the next gentrification run around this side of town. Like that. Thanksgiving charades. Instead of traditional charades, family members act out Thanksgiving-related phrases, foods or traditions leading to hilarious interpretations and misunderstandings. Who wrote this? And misunderstanding. It sounds like it. I don't know. It sounds like a promo for an '80s sitcom. It leads to hilarious misinterpretations. Hilarious hijinks. Misinterpretations and misunderstandings. Every Tuesday at 8:00. Thanksgiving charade.

I like the idea of a game.

I do. We will play games a lot in our house, too. Maybe that'll be something we do this year. How about the wishbone challenge? Have you ever broken a wishbone? I have. Because your dad used to do that. Here kids, come grab the wishbone with me. Yeah, I love that wishbone. I love that wishbone. Never once did a wish come true, but man, I love that wishbone.

It's just the wish of the wishbone.

Yeah, it's the hopeful nature of the wishbone. It's the thought that maybe something would break your way for once. But at last, it was never to be. I like some of these Thanksgiving traditions. I think- I do, too. I think karaoke, dancing, maybe that time capsule shit. I don't know where I'd bury it. Then would you open it back up like 10 years from now? I don't know. I don't know either.

That's one way, and then you're going to throw it away. So I don't know. I thought about doing like that. I'm doing my own time capsule purging right now.

Yes, you're throwing it away, never to be found again by anybody. Yes. Some guy in India is going to float up on the Indian Ocean, and some guy in India is going to be like, What's this 10-foot photograph of a woman? I thought about doing a TCB time capsule one time.

Yeah, we talked about that.

Yeah, taking little clips of some of our best-ups. But then I really thought to myself, no one gives a shit. No one. Not even me. I don't even give a shit. All right, let's take a break and we'll talk about some holiday movies that you can watch tonight after you get done with your holidays.

I need a new one.

Okay. I'm going to give you some ideas. Okay. All right, we'll be back.

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I'm thankful this year I don't live with my mom. How's that?

There you go.

We're watching that show.

Mama's Boy.

Mama's Boy. And we'll talk more about that tomorrow on the show. Okay. All right. Movies. Movies. Let's talk about movies. Holiday movies. So what holiday movies will you be watching this evening? What do you have a go to that you guys will watch for sure?

Well, not specifically, maybe on Thanksgiving night, but throughout the season. I have a few go-tos. Christmas Vacation, obviously. Of course.

Number one on the rotation, Christmas Vacation.

Another one has become number one for me, and that's The Night Before.

Oh, The Night Before? Yeah. It's really funny. Yes, that's a good one. I've got that on the list here.

I'm going Bridget Jones Diary.

Bridget Jones's Diary? It starts at a Christmas time.

All All right. I love that movie. I'm trying to think what else. I mean, there's some that always pop up, but I was thinking the other day, I'm looking for a new one this year.

Okay. I'm going to give you a couple good ones and a couple silly ones. What is that movie, the British one, The British holiday movie, where everyone's falling in.

Oh, no, Love, Actually. Love, Actually is a good one. That's on the rotation, too.

I do like that. It's a sentimental favorite. I love The Family Stone. I know this divides a lot of people. The Family Stone. But The Family Stone with Sarah Jessica Parker and Luke Wilson. And what's her name? It's a good one. Yeah. It's so fucking hard. It's touching. It's a touching movie. It's got funny parts in it. It's absolutely ridiculous. But I find it to be the first time I watched it, I was just like, oh, my God, that's a great movie. And now every year I have to catch The Family Stone at least once. Christmas Vacation, of course. Elf is a classic. A Christmas story that is reserved for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I will probably watch a Christmas Story at least four times over the course.

That one channel plays it over and over.

Tbs, or now it's TNT, actually, plays that. 24 Hours of a Christmas Story. Die Hard is another Christmas movie.

Die Hard is the one.

Some people have argued, No, it's not. Of course it is. It's on Christmas Eve. That's when they're having their big party at the Nakatomi Plaza, if you remember correctly. Nakatomi Plaza.

I don't have to watch that one every year, but it's a good one.

It's a good one. All right, well, let me throw out a couple of ideas for you, Chrissy, and who knows? Thank you. Maybe one of these will stick. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. It's a cult classic where Martians kidnap Santa to bring joy to their children, resulting in a delightfully odd mix of sci-fi and holiday cheer. The movie was made in 1964. It is considered a cult classic. I'll tell you what, I have watched this movie, and it is highly strange. Remember we were watching- Highly strange. Yes. What's her name? Elvira. Elvira. We were watching old episodes of Elvira. I wonder where that channel went. I don't know. I was looking for it. It's somewhere. I have it. Yeah, there's a channel that we now get on the cable service that I have that reruns a lot of the Elvira Friday Nights, like the Elvira at Night or whatever it was called. Elvira was this famous Halloween-like character, like a witch-like character with huge tatas that would have them just boldly sticking out. Dare to beware for the nipples slipping out. Never did, but everyone was waiting for it to happen.

Then she would run these- Commentate. In between the commercial breaks, she would commentate on these sci-fi and horror movies, really cheesy, crazy horror movies. Christie and I were getting the biggest kick for a week. We were just watching this nonstop, and we were getting a kick out of it. This would fit right in there. It would. You would like this one. Jack Frost. Does anybody remember that movie?

Jack Frost. Is that a horror one? Michael Keaton? No.

Jack Frost is with Michael Keaton. He plays a father of a boy who's on a hockey team, and they are the best of buds. The father is in a band, and the band gets called away on Christmas Eve to play this big gig out in the middle of snowy somewhere. Unfortunately, the car goes off the cliff and the father does not survive. This is right at the beginning of the movie. Here's why I I remember this movie. I know. You're like, Oh, my God. Why would I want to watch this? Well, some people might be sensitive to this because, of course, it's a terrible tragedy that happens. It's handled in a light enough way. But here's why it's very sad is because after the Father Dies, the original Landslide song by Fleetwood Mac is played during this movie at that moment. If you don't cry during the Landslide song in Jack Frost, you just don't have a heart. I mean, I swear to God. But then, luckily, Michael Keaton's character comes back to life as a snowman.

I don't think I've ever seen this movie.

And teaches old Jimmy how to be a good hockey player. It's a heartwarming tale for the whole family. It's really a ridiculous premise, but it's cute, and I've seen it many times. Maybe I'll watch it. Yeah. Jack Frost, 1996 Jack Frost. I think it's a Disney movie, if I'm not mistaken. How about Gremlins?

Polar Express is another one that I watch. I love Polar Express.

I always It's on Polar Express to be a little weird for my liking. Yeah, you didn't like it. No, it's a little ethereal. I don't like the way that the characters look. It's like early CGI, early computer animation. I love it. But my kids watched it last year, and one of them really liked it. So I imagine we'll be watching it again. I don't have anything against it. It's just not my favorite movie.

Gremlins. Gremlins is a definite.

Is a Christmas movie for sure.

I just watched that movie a little while back. I was like, Old Gremlins. Let me watch it again. It's funny.

It's a wacky It's a movie, man. It's a wacky movie. If you were alive at the time- The Magua. Yeah, the Magua.

They go in the back of a little store. I know. Buy the secretive Magua.

They talk. They speak English for some reason. Who knows? Then they get wet and they turn into gremlin. They replicate- Spike. Yeah, Spike. He's causing all these mischeevious and causes all trouble and murders people. It's a fun movie for all the kids. If you were alive When Gremlins came out, Gremlins took the world by storm for about six months. I don't know.

There's a Gremlins 2.

Yeah, Gremlins 3, I think. I think there's a lot of Gremlins movies. Here, let me throw one in there. Rambo. Rambo. Rambo. Rambo. I think, is set during Christmas time when he walks into that town and the sheriff doesn't want him to stay, and him and the sheriff get into the argument that makes Rambo go underground and start killing all the police officers. It's really a ridiculous movie. But Rambo, I think, while that maybe not a Christmas movie, specifically, is certainly set in snowy times. Let's put it that way. There you go. All right. Nightmare Before. Or The Night Before. The Night Before. There you go. That's a great movie, starring Seth Rogen. It's all about drug use in a big party. It's a lot of fun. It is. It celebrates not just Christmas, but the Jewish culture also. It's a lot of fun. That movie is a lot of fun. I don't know if it's become a cult classic for me, but it is one of those movies that if I watch it every year, I'm happy about it. Also, Harold and Kumars Christmas. White Christmas or something. I don't know what it is.

It's their holiday movie. That is fucking fantastic. Also, that is really, really funny. Neil Patrick Harris takes a wonderful turn in that movie. The Nightmare Before Christmas. Could be a Halloween, could be a Christmas movie. It's up to you. It decides on how you look at it. My kids love watching this during Halloween, but it's also a Christmas movie, too. Hence the name Nightmare Before Christmas. A Christmas Horror Story is an anthology film that combines various horror stories, including a killer Santa and Crampus, into a holiday theme, Fright Fest. I remember watching this, and it's very interesting. It was made in 2016, '17. It's very interesting. I haven't seen it. If you want a little bit of a fright with your holiday movies, then this might be one you get to sink your teeth into, Chrissy. Elf, of course. Everybody loves Elf. Except for somebody I know who didn't like my wife the first time she saw Elf. She's like, I love this movie. I'm like, How can you not? Who doesn't like Elf? I think it's my stepmom that doesn't like Elf. She's like, Oh, I hate that movie. I'm like, Elf? How do you hate Elf?

How can anyone hate Elf? How can anyone hate Will Farrell walking into the coffee shop and saying, You did it. Congratulations. World's best coffee. That's the best. If you really want to throw back at something terrible but terribly fun to watch, watch the Star Wars holiday special from 1978. Really? Yes. All the characters make a great turn. I did not know. It's like an ABC Saturday Night special or something. You can find it on YouTube. It's a crazy, wacky holiday special with all the The guys from the bar. In the bar? Yeah.

Space bar.

Yeah, you got to check it out.

It's really good. There's always, to the Rudolf, the original one, was that from the '60s?

Rudolf the Red Nose Reindier, which you can- The Land of Misfit Toys. Yeah, The Land of Misfit Toys. That's right. One of my favorite movies, The Land of Misfit Toys. You, I think, can only buy Rudolf the Red Nose Reindier on one platform, and I believe, if I'm not mistaken, right now, that is Hulu. It's like 1999 to buy it. It's not worth the 1999, even though it is a classic and everybody loves it who grew up in that time. You can also find it, and I'm not encouraging you to not pay the creators, but you can also find it on YouTube. If you want to save yourself a couple of bucks before you buy it, go ahead and Google it first. Bad Santa.

Bad Santa.

That's a good one. I do like Bad Santa with Billy Bob Thornton. That's a good one. The Ref. The Ref is a great movie with Dennis... Not Dennis Miller. What do I want to say Dennis Miller? Dennis Quaid? No, not Dennis Quaid. Dennis O'Leary. Dennis O'Leary. Yeah. Is it Dennis O'Leary or Kevin O... Who's that guy? Now, why am I in this? Hold on one second. I'm going to get this right because this is a great fucking movie. The Ref. The Ref. You never seen it?

I don't think so.

Dennis O'Leary. I say Dennis O'Leary. It's Dennis O'Leary. The smoking comic from the '80s and '90s. Yeah, I know Dennis O'Leary. The smart ass, quick-talking, real smart guy who did He was like a firefighter in that FX show for a long time. The Ref is a movie about him as a thief. And he goes in. It's Kevin Spacey's in the movie, too. He goes in to steal from a very rich neighborhood. He's stealing from houses in a very rich neighborhood. He goes into a house to find a couple that is absolutely at each other's throats, on the verge of divorce, two of the most obnoxious people you've ever met in a relationship. And he becomes the ref of the marriage while he's trying to avoid capture by the police. It is brilliantly done. It's a good movie? It is so fucking funny. It is really good. You got to check out the ref. I will. And one more just for shits and giggles. Well, two more. How about Crampus, a horror movie about the dysfunctional family who invert and inadvertently summons up the devil himself, Crampus. Have you seen that Crampus celebration that goes on in Germany?

Where all of the... I have. They all dress up in these horribly scary masks and they run around scaring the children. It's like a... I don't get it. I don't get it personally, but okay, it looks like something straight out of hell, but the kids love it, apparently. All right. Then one more, just in case you're really looking to have some fun tonight, you and the kids can go to bed watching Jingle All The Way, starring Arnold Schwartz's name.

I forgot about that one. Home Alone is another one.

Yeah, I'm not a big fan of Home Alone. I know.

I remember that.

Home Alone is another one. You're going to watch all those terrible Santa Claus movies with Tim, what's his name? Tim, the Toolman Taylor.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

I do not like any of those movies.

No.

Some people love them. I just don't. I can't get into it. The Grinch. The Grinch. Of course, The Grinch, You Sold Christmas is a great one. There's so many great Christmas movies. A Muppets Christmas is a great movie. Me and my daughter like to watch that one. So many great Christmas movies. A lot of them probably playing tonight. I would imagine Christmas Vacation is somewhere on TNT or somewhere like that. This evening. So hope you get a chance to watch it. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving day. Hope you didn't get Salomonella. Hope you don't choose, you know, Sweet Child of mine, next time you do karaoke. Tell them to do it in low C, O-C. I got a new microphone, by the way. It's sitting right there. There you go. Whenever I get around to it, I'll put that thing up.

Thanks for joining us.

Thanks for joining us. Grateful for all the listens, grateful for all the support over the years, and certainly this one. It's been a rebuilding year for the commercial break here, and I think we've done it, Christie. I think we can be grateful for making a living. Yeah, for making it, quite frankly, for surviving what was a terrible six months for the commercial break. And maybe someday we'll talk about it, maybe someday we won't. But just know that because of you, we survived and we appreciate it. And we'll be back tomorrow for your Black Friday needs, for all your Black Friday needs. And All the way through the holidays. Brand new episodes of the commercial break, so don't go anywhere. Tcbpodcast. Com. That's where you find out more information about the show. All the audio, all the video, right there from one location. And starting next week, every episode of The Commercial Break will be on YouTube and Spotify video. So please join us one or both of those places, youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. Also, at the Commercial Break on Instagram, tcbpodcast. Com. Podcast on TikTok. 212 433 3TCB. That's 212 433 3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas.

We're taking them all and we'd love to hear from you. Give me your ideas for the 12 of TCB. I'd love to incorporate it. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Grateful for all your love, attention, and affection. Until next time. We always say we do say, and we must say, goodbye.

Have no family to celebrate Christmas with this year? The Commercial Break is live, the entire holiday season, to make you even more miserable than you currently are. So put your Christmas pajamas on, gather around the Christmas tree, and listen to brand new episodes of The Commercial Break.