Transcript of TCB Infomercial: Fortune Feimster

Hey, Christie. Best to you. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. It's the holiday season, and a lot of times, podcasts like ourselves will take off. But not us, Christie. We have bills to pay and miles to feed. So we are going to be producing brand new episodes of the Commercial Break this entire holiday season. And I thought it was important to let our audience know.Jingle.

Jingle all the way home.Jingle.

Jangle, your dingle-dangles. Stick with the commercial break and stay tuned for the 12 Days of TCB, our first ever 12 Days of TCB. That's right. December 13th through Christmas Day. Brand new episodes every day.

Something happened when I met Jacks that I did not expect. My mom got a little jealous. I remember if I would buy Jacks something like a scarf, my mom would be like, I like scarfs. I'm like, You're not my girlfriend. Their birthdays are five days apart, which is my nightmare. On this episode of The Commercial Break, When I was born, she really wanted my mom to name me Fortune. She's like, That's the name. I'm telling you that her name is supposed to be Fortune. Then my mom really resisted it, and she said I would have to be Miss America to live up to a name like that. I'm like, How dare you think I could it?

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. So 30 in the morning. Oh, yeah, guys and kittens, welcome Welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristin Joy. Holden. Best to you, Kristin. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. It's a Saturday, and yes, we're here just for you. It's a TCB infomercial bonus episode with Fortune Femster here today with us, the very famous all over the place, Can't Stop Her, Fortune. I just love-Oh, my God.

I've been a fan for so Very excited about this one. Chelsea lately and- The Mindy Project. The Mindy Project.

Now she's in Foo Bar.

Three stand-up specials now.

The next Netflix special is coming out on Tuesday, as this is being released the following Tuesday. Her brand new Netflix special, the first two have killed it. Killed it. The third one is here. No end in sight for Fortune. Can't wait to talk to her. So thank you for joining us. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We're We're still in the middle of it. That's the best thing about Thanksgiving is you get out early on Wednesday and you don't go back to work till Monday. It's just lovely. I love it. I love it. A five-day weekend.

Who- Lots of food, football, Christmas movies, all that good stuff. Family, if you want it.

Who amongst it? That's right. If you want it. If you want it. If you want it. If you don't, you're probably listening to the commercial break. Your family has left you or you've left them. You're like, I really need something to undepress me from my depressing family. Let us be that with Fortune. She'll be here in just a few minutes. I was just reading, she's in that new Netflix television show, Foo Bar, with Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's like an action-comedy. I started watching a few of the episodes in anticipation of Fortune being here. It's really funny. Arnold is just naturally gifted at being the straight man. You know what I'm saying? I sense that he has always wanted to be a comedian, but his accent and a lot His size, that's not what he's built for, but he's really good at playing off people who are comedic, and fortune is great in this show.

I mean, Kindergarten Cop is pretty fucking funny.

It's pretty funny, but he's still like the straight man in the movie. Even the kids tell the punch lines, and he's like, It's not a tumor. It's not a tumor. She's on this small little tour, and then we'll talk to her about it. Hundred City. Hundred City. Small. No, well, right now she's doing a small... But she just got done with a Hundred City tour. That's unbelievable when you go to a 100 fucking cities. I know. I mean, you would think that would be fun, but I think by city number 20, you're probably like, Okay, get me back to my own fucking bed. I mean, you know what I'm saying? When I go on vacation, we went to Europe, we went to Spain for a month and some change last year. And by day number 15, I could have used my own bed, even though there were still some exciting parts of the trip. But in In that case, I was doing absolutely no work whatsoever. When you go on a 100-city tour, you are just killing it all the time out there working. We'll talk to her about it. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, Chrissy, just so you know, if I happen to be moody over the next couple of weeks, it's because I've started dipping my toe back in the newswater.

I have started to watch a little bit of news. I had to turn on that morning, Joe, and see what Joe and everybody was so up and on. I know. I was like, Wait, I think it's a good thing that they're taught. But then I'm listening to Joe, and I'm like, No, you're an idiot. You're an idiot. I haven't delved back into the actual televised news.

No. I'm just getting mine now from- 40% of us who watched certain channels like CNN and MSNBC and other news stations have turned off the news altogether.

The ratings just plummeted. They plummeted so far that Rachel Maddow, the star of MSNBC, they call her... I think they called her a ratings boner or something. Somebody referred to as a ratings boner because ratings get hard. When she The ratings go high when she shows up. She took a $5 million a year pay cut to stay at MSNBC. I saw that. First of all, good for her. She knew that other people needed to get paid, and people would probably lose their $5 million is no small bit. But then I learned that she was making 30. She's making 30.

I know.

I was like, Holy shit. $30 million a year. She's on one night a week. $30 million a year. That's an incredible job. Msnbc, call me. I know I'm not a noted newscaster, and I'm really terrible with facts of any shape or size.

But you do have that inflection down. You could replace that guy. I do.

That's right.

The midday guy. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God. Jose Diaz Lahrt. Jose D. Is bullshit. I mean, that guy is just terrible. I'm sorry, Jose. I'm sure you were great wherever you came from. I think you came from Univision, if I'm not mistaken. I'm sure you were wonderful wherever you came from, but you are really bad at what you do. I mean, just really bad at it. But then again, who's watching MSNBC at 11:15 in the morning? You know what I'm saying? Msnbc at 11:15 in the morning, nobody's watching. I guarantee he's not making $30 billion a year. No. That's for sure. I wanted to get you back up to speed that I was watching the news. Okay.

I'll keep that in mind. Don't be moody here.

When you see me, when you pull up and I'm on top of the roof, threatening to jump, you I can't make you know why. We hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and you're enjoying your extended vacation.

Please write us in and tell us some funny stories about that because there's always some.

Oh, yeah. You must write us and tell us about your family shenanigans. We have to know. The crazier, the better, the worse, the better. I know a few of you out there are really good at writing those stories, so I'm not going to name you by name, but please write us in. Tell us how your family events were. We'd love to hear it. What were your traditions? How terrible did they go? How terribly wrong did it all go? Yeah, I only want terrible Thanksgiving stories. Don't write me and say all the kids had fun. I don't give a shit, okay? It's not that show. Then just a small reminder, 12 Days of TCB coming up December 13th through the 25th. That's right. Brand new episodes of the Commercial Break, even on Christmas Day. So happy birthday, Jesus.

Gather around. Gather around. Gather around the tree in the fire.

Gather around the manger. Pipe it.

Gather around the manger. You got a new Sonos. Pipe it in. Yes, that's right.

Pipe it in. Your Amazon Echo, put it in the manger in your little Christmas. Put it in the manger your little Christmas village and say, Hey, play Brian's Got a Boner episode number 688. Let us not leave out our Jewish friends. Happy Hanukah to you, too. I think Hanukah and Christmas actually aligned together, my wife was saying to me, and Festivus and all and- Kwanza. Kwanza and Crampus and all that other shit that you guys celebrate. Congratulations to everybody on a job well done on It's like, Thanksgiving. I'm congratulating all the people who cooked us food before they actually cook us the food so that I sound generous afterwards. How's that?

That's a good tactic.

I told myself, I was like, Let me say congratulations on great cooking for this episode.

Yeah, put it in the universe.

Yes, put it in the universe. It is good food. That way, when I'm complaining about it, it's like two weeks later and no one's really going to know. All right, let's do this. Let's take a short break, and then we'll come back with Fortune here on the studio television, and we'll talk to her about all the- The magic. The magic of telepodcasting. We'll figure it all out. What do you say, Chrissy? I said, Let's do it. Let's do it. We'll be back.

Brian might have just said it's time to take a break, but some of us have to work right now. And by work, I mean, gently nudge you, may beg you to follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. Because listen, the more followers we get, the more clout I get with Chrissy and Brian. If you've got something to say, give us a call and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3-TCV, or shoot us a text. One more thing, check out our website, tcbpodcast. Com, where you can find all of our audio and video and even request a new sticker from the Contact Us form. Bye.

I'm Jenna Fisher. And I'm Angela Kinsey.

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Fortune, thank you so much for joining us today. We really appreciate it.

Hello, Fortune.

Hi, you guys. Thanks for having me. It's lovely to be here.

Yeah, our pleasure.

Our pleasure. So This episode will be airing right after the Thanksgiving holiday. Tell me, I'm assuming you just spending some time with family over the Thanksgiving?

Yeah. It's hard to try to with two families to get to You can't do the holiday with both of them. I try to go close to the holiday and see my family. Yes. But then I go to Jack's as my wife's family because they're better cooked and they're better hosts. No shade to my mom. She provides me a lot of fun, quirky material, but cooking is not her thing.

Yeah, my mom either. I was telling Christie the other day, we were talking about gravies and sauces. Are you a gravy and sauce person? I am definitely a gravy and sauce person. I think that comes from my mother who was just a terrible cook, and she may have known it, and then she smothered everything in sauces and gravies.

Get that barbecue sauce.

God forbid, they taste the actual pork.

My brother used to smell the food to see if it was expired. It drove my mom crazy, but he knew what was up.

He had a little He had a detector.

Yeah. He was like, something's not sitting right about this barbecue chicken.

Do you do the holiday roundtable? Do you like, Okay, this year we got to spend the actual Thanksgiving Day with my family And then next year we're going to spend it with your family. Or is there a set schedule? I always get fascinated by this with people who have-We married partners. I mean, a lot of people have.

We did that for a long time, many, many, because we're 10 years in now. Congratulations. Thank you. Our first six, I think we tried to do the like, We'll go to your family's, and then my family... Because that's what my brothers had set up. And then we realized that we don't have kids, and what are we doing? We don't have to be there. That's right. And the pandemic did that. We stayed home for the holidays, and we were like, Oh, this is actually nice because we travel all the time for my tour. Unfortunately, one of the things that went by the wayside was going to my family. But when you don't have kids, I feel like it's different.

Let me tell you something. One of the advantages to being a breeder over here is that when you have children, then you determine... There's four boys in my family, so I'm one of four. I'm the only one with children, so I get to dictate exactly how the holidays go. If you don't like it, fuck yourself. You're not You're not going to see the kids. You're not going to see your nieces and nephews for the holidays?

And I would be like, Fine. Some of my brothers do, by the way. Some of my brothers don't. You don't threaten me with a good time. I don't have to spend my family holiday at home watching people rip through presents in five seconds. Right.

It can certainly get annoying. Fortune, you're on a bit of a tear right now, I would say. I feel like you're everywhere. When they said, Hey, you want to talk to Fortune? And I was like, Oh, my gosh, she is everywhere.

But I've been a fan for a long time. Oh, thank. Back from Chelsea Lately. And then I know we-Mindy Project.

Yeah. Oh, that's so cool.

I know that when we talk to people, sometimes even I feel like, Oh, people just popped out of nowhere. But there's a lot of work that comes behind.

Oh, yeah.

There's 10 years of work to have your moment in the sun, whatever it is. You got your start. You were doing a comedy when you were in college. Is that right?

I did some theater in college. No comedy, but it was in the south, in North Carolina. So it was us trying to do Shakespeare with these crazy-ass Southern accents. Yeah. We had I hadn't really been exposed to the comedy part yet, other than growing up watching Saturday Night Live and the reruns of the Carol Burnet show. So I knew comedy. I loved it, but I did not know you could do that for a living. So I I moved to LA 21 years ago, which seems wild now. Wow. And not to pursue comedy, just I had a job that I was going to do, and it was just a life experience. And I had a really hard time making friends because in the south, you go to a gas station and chat with people. Yeah, exactly. It's not like that in LA. Everyone keeps themselves. You don't really talk to your neighbors. It's a A little more isolating. And so I started taking classes at the Groundlings, where Will Farrell and- Of course. Yeah. Mccarthy, all these people had studied at Kristen Wig. And the dream was to be on SNL. But again, it was like, I think that's the only way to do comedy is if you get on SNL.

Yeah, exactly. So that was my path for a long time. Once I took these classes, really, just to make friends, it quickly grew into a passion, and I kept getting encouraged to continue. And yeah, it was discovering that was, I think, the greatest gift because then my life had a path now. Yes.

I get this. My personal opinion is you can't be as talented at what you do. It just seems to come so natural. The animations, the voices that you go in and out of, the comedic style that you have, I think is just like you're born with that. Now you can practice it and people can help it bloom by being around other people who have certain sensibilities they can share and you learn and all that. But that's something you're born with. Was this in you always? Did you feel like this sense of these comic sensibilities, this timing was always part of who you were?

I think I had moments of it. I was a little shyer than people would have assumed. I I had times where I was the class clown and making everyone laugh, and then other times I was a bit of a wallflower just watching people. But I came into some of my personality in high school, and I started watching an SNL and would memorize these sketches and perform them for people. So I started to learn to make people laugh by using other people's stuff. I would learn Adam Sandler's things Thanksgiving song or Hanukah song and sing that to people. So I was learning by mimicking at first and just watching and absorbing. And then I'd be really shy, then have this spurt of funny And then when I got to college, that started to come out more. And even though I had terrible stage fright, so my performance on stage was not successful, it was when I moved to LA, I had, I think, I feel like you said, that natural ability, but I didn't know how to bring it out of myself. So the one thing I did learn from classes in years of, I think it was at the Groundline, seven years, is I learned how to hone it.

When I started stand up in 2007, that was at the Comedy Store, I didn't know what I was doing there either. I knew I was comfortable on stage. It seemed like people liked me. Those are two hard things to overcome right off the bat. I was like, Okay, I've done those right away. Let me work on what is my voice, what am I trying to say, how do you tell a story? And that's the thing that gets better over years and evolves because this is my third hour that's coming out on Netflix, and I can even see It's by the way. Thank you. I can see my voice and my storytelling evolve in each one.

Yeah, I think, I forget who said this, but it's like 10,000 hours, right? There's an old saying, 10,000 hours to become a master and expert, the people who do things in this world the best, have on average 10,000 hours of doing what they do. I think when you're as gifted as you are comically and as an actress, it's like that energy is there. It's just either stuck inside or it's very wily, and you don't know what to do with it until you start to get those hours, get those reps under your belt. I mean, Christie and I are 38,000 hours into this podcast, and I've said this to her before, and I mean it, and I think it's true, and it'll probably be true a thousand hours from now. But I don't think till episode number 400 did I actually feel like we knew what the fuck we were doing.

Oh, really? Yeah.

Yeah, it's just reps. It's getting in there and trying to figure out what works and what's your voice is, what's the personality of the show. Yeah. And those two things, I think if you're not creative or you're not in a creative endeavor, it sounds like, Well, that's silly. Your voice is your voice. Not really. It takes a lot of time to figure out how convey that appropriately or how you use that energy in a way. I love your type of storytelling because it's just, I don't know. To me, it scratches an itch in comedy. There's other storytellers out there that do this really well also. I think of Kyle Canane or some of these other people. They're really good at this, but you're extraordinarily talented at taking your life and turning it into something really funny and entertaining. Do you fear family get-together How much because you use all the material?

Well, if anyone watches crushing it, this latest one, you'll see I talk a lot about my mom. She gives me a wealth of material alone. I talk a lot about my wife, Jack, too. But yeah, I always am hoping that my mom will say something crazy.

Yeah, for sure.

I'm quickly writing it down. Because there's one story in my special, I talk about my mom falling in a cemetery. And a lot of the stuff I write, I will amp it up. I'll write punch lines, and I do a little bit of that in that story. But 95 % of the story is just what she said. And I was like, this doesn't seem real. This doesn't seem like what a normal person would say. But that's what makes it so fun. So, yeah, I take these moments in my life and people are familiar with my mom now, and I just try to spit them back out in a way that's like, how can I... Because my stories are long, too. I'm like, how can I keep someone's attention for eight whole minutes of a story? And that's been my biggest thing to try to work on and hone was like, every story is like 6 to 10 minutes. So it's like, I got to keep your attention on each one of these stories for a whole hour Yeah. But it forces me to work hard at coming up with the through lines and punch lines.

I always try to have a narrative that's a grander theme of the special. And I always try to bring it back around so that there's payoff from the early things are now being paid off at the end.

It's like writing a season of television. It's like writing a season of Breaking Bad for your special. It's like themes within the themes, keeping people entertained, but at the end, It always comes back around.

But it's my job to be like, I'm just coming up with this just now. Right. Off the cuff.

It can seem natural. That's a great ability, honestly.

But you go out on the road a lot, and I'm sure that that's where you say, Okay, I have this idea. Let me see if I can punch it for the next five minutes, and I'll take notes in my head about what's landing and what's not. Do you still, when you get up in front of an audience at a small club and you're working on new material, do you still have that fear of the train coming off the track. Oh, yeah.

I'm writing a new... Every time you put out a special, you have to write a whole new hour, which is the worst part of this. I'm like, Can't I just sing Cheeseburger in Paradise? What? Musicians have it made. I know, right?

It's crazy. Sam Morrill says the exact same thing. The exact same thing. Yeah. He says, Listen, the worst part about being a comedian is that-He can't play the hits. Yeah, unlike Girls and Roses, I can't play Sweet Child of Mine every time. I know. That's why people come. If they see my special, it's old. They no longer want to hear it. They expect something new.

I still have people wanting me to tell the hooter story from my sweet and Softies special, so I'll do something like that at the end. But yeah, you got to write a whole new hour because people want to be surprised every time. Otherwise, they're like, We've heard this. I'm in New York right now. I was at the cellar last night. The hardest part is I like to write everything out like a story on paper. I like to know where it's going and add some structure to it, and then I put it on its feet. For me, the panic is I have to now memorize an eight-minute story that I just wrote. It's easier once you've been on tour because you're doing it every stinking day. It gets in your bones, but in the beginning, you're like, Wait, what did I write? What was that? And so you're in your head on stage. I like it when I get to the point where it's just flowing really. But both these last, especially this last couple, two specials, the last three years, I've been on two tours back to back, 100 cities with 150 shows each. How it is?

That material, I think, was honed as much as I could possibly hone it.

Yeah, I think... But I see what you're saying. When you first go out there and you're working on material, okay, you spent the last, however many days or weeks or whatever We're writing this out. In my head, this feels good. It's got a flow to it. I'm trying to memorize the beats and the notes so that I can at least get from point A to point B. At first, you're literally seeing the paper in your head trying to remember those beats and those notes. It doesn't come as naturally. Maybe some of the comic timing and the other things, the accents that you might put on it aren't there yet. But as it starts to get deep into your bones, then you can… It's like the Grateful Dead, right? I know I'm going to go slip that into the sugar man.

They're just like, Ripping on these long ass songs. You'll get this as a Charlotte fan.

It's like a widespread panic song. I know it's going to go from here to here, but in between, I don't know, I'll throw in some- We'll figure it out.

I'll throw in a Nauman Brothers song or something. I don't know. But it's part of the journey. It keeps me on my toes because honestly, if people didn't force us to do this, I would want to just tell Hooter stories every night. It does, by nature, force me to be better at my job than I might have wanted to be. Comedy really is in a golden age, I think, right now.

I've said this before, and I'll give them shit about all of their live shows, Netflix. But Netflix and Amazon, and to some degree, I guess, Max, they've put their weight behind comedians and their Their success. Really, they see this as a vehicle for fresh material. It's great content. They can put it out. There's multiple different voices.

People need to laugh.

People need to laugh. Yes. Therefore, now the comedy is really seeing a huge revival. My understanding is, because I was just a kid back then, but my understanding is not since the '80s has comedy really been as hot as it is right now. You're selling out. I love your Instagram post. It tells where you're going to be for the next five weeks, but then it just says sold out. Here's where I'm going to be, but fuck you if you want tickets.

I mean, it's a blessing because selling tickets is so hard. Of course. You're in so many cities and there's so many people out there. There's so much entertainment you're competing with. I think part of the boom is that people aren't going to the movies as much anymore, and studios aren't putting out comedies in theaters anymore. People still want shared experiences. We've been isolated a lot via social media. You think you're surrounded by people, but you're alone in your room scrolling. I miss those days of being in a theater, laughing at a bridesmaids movie. It's funnier when you experience it with people. People are getting that by watching live comedy. It shows me that there's still a big demand for it. I'm lucky that I'm an actor and I'm a stand-up, so where acting is dipping a bit, they're finding their way in this new world of media, the stand-up part is really thriving. And it's a dream. You want to You work so hard on this material. You want people to see it. So I've gotten to perform in these amazing theaters. It's a Chicago theater. The Beacon Theater last tour were bucket list ones for me.

Wow, yeah, The Beacon.

What does it like to walk out in the Chicago Theater. I grew up in Chicago, by the way, so I know the theater well. That's right, yeah. You walk out on that stage and there's just a throng of people on their feet for you. Yeah, it's crazy.

That's like a 3,000 seat theater, I think.

Yeah, I think it's like 3,200 or something like that. That's a lot of It's a lot of people.

It's a lot of people. We almost added a second one. And I was like, Could I possibly? I don't know. I got too chicken to try. I'm like, Let's quit while we're ahead. So the goal of this tour, I think, would try to do two. It was incredible. My wife, I met her in Chicago. An early day, she took me to the Chicago Theater to see Carol Burnet in a Q&A. Oh, wow. I just remember being in that theater, just been like, Whoa, this is next level. Carol was such an influence on my comedy. It just felt very much like, one day I'll be here where Carol sat. Yeah. Yeah. So that was a really neat thing to experience. I love that for you. That's Her City. I filmed my last special there. And everyone in Chicago has been so crazy supportive of me because I think they feel kinship because Jack's That's Her City. And we have a lot of love and respect for Chicago. So yeah, and all the ushers are in these, what do you call them? Papes.

It's very old school, but cool.

They're making events of it.

When you go to the Chicago Theater, you're at a theater, right? I mean, it's like you're at a theater from 1920, and it's just an experience in and of itself. But then the room, such a Majesty and entertainment royalty has come through that theater for a hundred years. Okay, you're a comedian. We know that. But really, you're also- I'm a model. You're a model. That's right. I'm a comedian, a model. I'm a pragmatic pragmatist. But also, you've You've done very well for yourself acting also. Tell me, of the two passions, I know that probably comedy pays the bills on a regular basis. Yes. But acting has got to be also just as exciting. It's a quick hit in and out. You work for whatever, a couple of months, or unless you're on a series, you work for a couple of months, you make a bucket of money, and then you can take a couple of days off.

Yeah, it's funny. Acting was such a goal of mine for so long. When I was on Chelsea lately, I I remember Chelsea would say, What do you want to do? I was like, I want to act. I want to be on a show. I wasn't even on the path to be doing stand-up to the extent I am right now. I just fell into that as far as when the acting. I'm a specific type. I can't just fit into every role and every project. I think I started doing a lot more stand-up to fill the time between acting. But for me, acting was like, Oh, that's my goal, and that's when I to do. I've been lucky to... After I left Chelsea lately, I went and did a couple of pilots with Tina Faye. Those didn't get picked up, but all these nos lead to yeses. Yeah, that's true. Doing that project with Tina Faye led to working with some 30 Rock people, which led to Mindy Kaling's best friend, Lange Fisher, who they write together. She was on 30 Rock, and she recommended me for the Mindy Project, and And the Mindy Project is what opened the doors for my whole acting career.

So I got to do cool recurring characters in this show called Life in Pieces, and I did this movie, Office Christmas Party, and I'm basically hired to come into a film or TV show and act like a crazy person and then leave.

You do seem to have this...

But that's my favorite version of you is when you're I don't want to say clueless, but you're so incredibly confident. Yeah, so overconfident.

There's this weird vulnerable obsolescence here, and I love it. I think you play it so well.

Oh, thank you. Now I did some sitcoms for a while. That was my world. Those are obviously getting made less and less. Now I'm in this crazy action-comedy world. I'm doing Foo Bar with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I know.

That's insane, which is great, by the way. I watched the first couple of episodes- Oh, thanks. Over the last week. It's really... That's crazy being an action's comedy with- It's really wild.

It's one of those shows you don't have to think too much. We're going to entertain you for an hour and try to make you laugh and have some cool explosions. Yeah. I think season two, which will come out in the spring, we amp up the comedy even more. I think it's a better season because we didn't I don't really know what we were shooting for a season. Now we just have fun with it, and there's a lot of talented people in that show. Arnold's just fun to watch. He knows what he does, and he does it well, and he gives you what you want to see. What's it like working with him? So good. He's just a very kind, generous guy. Funny. He likes to... He loves comedians, so he loves to tease people and crack jokes, and There's nothing. There's no diva about him. He carries himself in a way that's... He knows his stature in life. He's been famous for 50 years. He's world famous, which It was a different fame. But we went road bikes in Toronto. People are like, Arnold, every corner, Arnold, Arnold. And he's just like, hello. He's been doing this for so long.

He just lives his life. Yeah. He does seem He's very kind.

When you watch him on interviews, he seems like he's kind. He seems like he's wise. I don't love every bit of Mike Tyson and his life story. He's obviously done some terrible. But when you listen to him now in his older age, he seems like he's learned a few things along the way, and he doesn't seem pretentious about it. He's not precious about who he is as a person. He gets all his foibles and he understands it. Arnold seems very much the same way. Yeah.

You can see in a documentary on Netflix, you reach an age where you start reflecting on successes and mistakes, and he owns a lot of those. But he's still so active. He lives his life like he's a governor still. He volunteers the organizations more than anyone I've ever met. He hands out food to veterans, and he has an after-school program for kids. It's raised like like a billion dollars. People are still calling him to help fix problems. I've passed his iPad, and there's very important people on those iPads. I'm like, Oh, my God. He's just smoking a cigar, chatting with this very powerful person.

Wow. I think also when you're world famous, like you said, you do become a politician in a way. Whether we like it or not, entertainment in politics is often wrapped up together, and we see how that played out in this last election for good, bad, or Indifferent. But But I think once you're a politician of a state, a governor of a state like California, people will always see you as someone who can either fix a problem or be part of a solution. They think, Oh, okay. I think it's pronounced California. California. Do you think... This is like a question to the left. Do you think sometimes that people's names have to do with their destinies? Like, fortune is a very interesting name. I know you got it from your great grandmother. Is that correct?

Yeah, it was my great grandmother's maiden name.

And so it's great grandmother's maiden name. But the name fortune seems to fit you so well, and it also describes describes a little bit of you're a fortunate person. You've probably had your sense of troubles, but you really have had a lot of success also, especially over the last number of years. I was having this conversation with a friend of mine about three weeks ago. I think sometimes when you name a child, it's almost like that name either comes from the universe or you're placing some destiny on them. I don't want to make it sound all hooky-pooky. Hooky-pooky. But when you name a guy, Brian, you're pretty much- You're like, Brian from Chicago?

Mediocre life. Brian from Chicago?

You're going to be a mediocre podcaster for the rest of your life.

No.

But what a name, fortune. Do you feel fortunate to have the name, fortune?

Well, I had to finagle it a bit because my grandmother, who I was super, super close to, she lived right around the corner, was a big part of my childhood. My parents were so crazy busy and had three kids. She really stepped in and and was like another mother. When I was born, she really wanted my mom to name me Fortune. She's like, That's the name. I'm telling you that her name is supposed to be Fortune. And my mom really resisted it. And she said, I would have to be Miss America to live up to a name like that. So I'm like, How dare you think I could it? And my mom loved the name Emily, and to her, that was the quintessential little girl name. And part of my mom and our journey is that she, for so long in my life, wanted me to be that pretty little lady, had dresses all over the place and just always being given makeup. And for her, Emily was like, That's my daughter. And I was never... Emily, you know? Yeah. Fortune was my middle name. And so I grew up being who my mom had hoped I would be.

And my grandmother died when I was 18. And when I got to LA a couple of years later, I had known that she'd always wanted me to be named Fortune. And I just felt like my grandmother knew me before I knew myself, and she really instilled a lot of confidence and self-worth into me. And so I decided, when I started taking growings, that I would go by my middle name as a nod to her. I love that. In honor of her, anytime someone calls me Fortune, it will be my little ear pull that Carol Burnet did. That's my version of it. Thinking you could be... I'll be Emily in life and fortune on stage. And quickly I knew. I was like, Oh, I was always meant to be called Fortune. I don't resonate at all with the name Emily. Yeah. It never fit. It was never who I was. I did have to step into the shoes of fortune, but now it just fits so well. And it just felt like that was a gift my grandmother gave me.

Absolutely. I think that's such a lovely and endearing story. Then your grandmother knew you were fortunate before you knew you were fortunate, right? She understood it. She got it for some reason, whatever, the universe talking. Sometimes I think our doors are open to the universe, even though we don't know what the fuck is coming a lot of us until many years later or maybe not even at all. It's just like, that's just one of those stories that I think indicates that there are greater forces at work a lot of times. There are energetic shepherds in life. Oh, yeah. I do believe It's in life.

I do feel like I'm on some... I know it's... What do you call it? Hooky pooky? Hooky pooky. I do feel that in a weird way. It's weird to say it out loud, but it does feel I'm on this path, and I don't know where it's going or why it's going certain places. I'm big on trusting my gut. I've had many forks in the road where I go, I have to make a really hard decision here, and one decision will lead me down this way, other path, and this one will go here. I have to trust that inner thing, and I feel like it keeps leading me to where I'm supposed to be going. I just do the hard work and show up and do my part of it and see where it goes.

Well, that's exactly right. I think you two have a very unique voice. You've never been, at least not in your public life, since you've been notable for entertaining people. You've always been who you are. You're always saying it out loud. You do have a path. I would imagine that path is intersecting with so many other paths You're affecting those people in ways that you probably will never know. I'm sure you hear it here and there like, Oh, my gosh, because of you, I'm free to be who I am, or I tell my own story, or I got the confidence. But you're so confident about it and funny about it. I guess we all do this in certain ways. Sometimes we get an email here like, Oh, because you said this, it told me that I should do that, or whatever. That's the story of humanity. We're all just guiding each other in weird ways. We may not understand, but your voice is amplified. Like the time your mom called you from the cemetery.

I think that's the coolest part of my job, especially being a stand-up, because my actor friends, they don't get to meet the people watching as much. They'll occasionally meet the people out and about, like in LA or whatever. I'm in, like I said, 100 cities every year and a half. I'm meeting a bunch of people in From the airport, to the airplane, to the hotel, to the Uber, to the... I mean, I am meeting people. Yeah. And I stick out like a sore thumb, and I have for a while. I'm tall, I'm a larger woman. I have this crazy ass hair and this accent. And so I do a lot of high fives during the day. I love that. And I've just been in a lot of... I've basically been on TV since 2010, every year. So there's a lot of different things people know me from. But the byproduct of that, which I never knew could be a thing, is having people come up to me and telling me these really amazing things that a story or a special helped in some way, like provide levity and really intimate. You're with people in very intimate, vulnerable times sometimes that you don't even realize.

Sweet and salty came out during a month before the pandemic. I'm getting emails from people talking about being in the hospital or being with loved ones dying. I also got a lot of people writing me, talking about my coming, because that special is a lot about coming out. I had parents who were... Kids were now with their parents again. When I say kids, I mean like 24 and over. They're hanging out with their parents more during that time. Some of the Emails would say, I would get from parents saying, My kid, put on your special to see how I would react. And if I liked it, they got the courage. We knew that they were gay, but they never said, and they got the courage to tell us. And I'm like, Holy cow. It blew my mind that it could be... Because it is so hard to have that conversation. I can't believe that special was part of people helping ease that journey a bit. I had people say, Yeah, I didn't know how to tell my family or friends or whatever, and that helped me. So, yeah, I never knew it could have that effect.

Because I just set out to, I'm going to tell my truth. I'm going to tell my stories. This is who I am. I'm going to try to make you laugh. And to think you can also help in these little subtle ways just really means so much to me. I take that responsibility. It means a lot to me. I don't take it for granted.

In that moment, in that moment, when you're reading those or when you think about those moments happening across the screen or on the other side of whatever, on the other side of a podcast or whatever it is, it's like all the struggle becomes worth it for a second. It's like, okay, this is what I was... I'm obviously here for a reason. If this helped one person or got one person through something. I remember one time we had somebody write in and said that they were really low. They had a terrible job. Their boss hated them. It was just a really shitty clock-in/clock-out warehouse job. They said, I had a moment during the pandemic where I thought, This is just it. This is the end. Then I found your show for some reason, and I'm all 180 episodes in because we have a thousand of them, and I'm 180 episodes in, and it's kept me at least from off the bridge. I couldn't believe it. First of all, I was like, who the fuck is listening to this show? Second of all, I was like- A lot of people.

Second of all, I was like, wow, that is incredible.

It's just a silly podcast, but to some people, it intersects with their lives in a meaningful ways that you could never understand. In that moment, every struggle and every shitty show and every tired eye, not like we dig ditches for a living, but it becomes worth it. It becomes a little bit clear that your voice amplified has a purpose. I think for you, that must... I don't know. I can only imagine. I had one email, You have 33,000. It must feel good.

It does. It's just... It makes me... That's why I think I've really leaned into even more putting out positive stuff. I know it feels so Paulyana, but it is my natural personality. I'm not putting on a thing where I'm like, be positive, and then I'm just like the world's worst. I genuinely wake up with a feeling of the glasses half full, which I know is like, such a luxury. I know people that can't want to feel that and can't be it chemical or whatever is going on in your body. And I'm so grateful that for the most part, and not that I don't have days, I'm seeing things through that lens. So when I put out comedy and material, even clips online, I try to do it with the bend of being on the positive side because there's just a lot of negativity. There is. Really, it's just counteracting what all we're consuming that's so doom and gloom and fear-based and negative. I'm like, Who needs that? Any more of that? Let me go in this other lane.

I tell my children this, and this is my language, not the one that I use for them, but I said, The world is full of shit heads. We don't need another one. What I'm saying to them is there's lots of bad in the world. Be the good guy, be the hero in small interactions and big interactions, because there's plenty of negative people, and there's a bad guy around every corner. You don't need to be that bad guy, bad girl, whatever. You call them poopoo heads?

Yeah, shit. Don't be a poopoo head.

The other day, the dog was barking, and I just lost it, and I was like, Shut the fuck up. I didn't realize my young, young, young daughter was at the other end of the house, and she walks out in the hallway, and she was like, Boo, shut fuck up.

I was like, Oh, no.

That's it. Oh, no. Okay, so real quick, before we let you go, Jax. Jax doesn't like the limelight at all. No. Assuming from what you've said in the past.

And it's getting worse and worse. She wants to be in it less and less. Not worse as far as it's bad. She just does not want to be famous. Right.

I'm the same way.

I don't like it. People in LA can't fathom it. They're like, What? I'm like, Yeah, not everyone's a lunatic.

Yeah, Christie wants to have nothing to do with it. If she goes her whole life without anybody recognizing her outside of this studio, that'd be fine.

And that's fine. With Jack, I say the same thing. I'm like, Yeah, I chose this career. I love it. It brings me so much joy. I work all the time. I am definitely a workaholic, but I love it. But if she doesn't want... I've had to be more conscious of I don't post as much about our personal lives or her. She'll be in things here and there, but I try to be considerate of not throwing her into the limelight too much.

Like, unintentional.

Exactly.

I get it. Sitting behind a microphone, it's like you want to a funny story about something that happened during your day or you want to, I don't know, do something. I've also learned there are guardrails, right? You have to protect the people around you because they're not choosing to be behind this microphone. That can be hurtful and I think even in some ways scary. I don't want to be a part of that. Does Jacks travel with you?

Yeah, she travels a lot. God, for the first eight years of our being together, she was, I think, at 90% of shows. Wow, that's great. And then that first Hundred City tour, I wore her out. And so by the time we got to the second Hundred City tour, she was like, You know, you have a tour manager now. Jack is selling merch in the beginning. She's very shy. So I forced her to be out of this comfort zone in so many situations just because I needed help. She wanted to support you. I was a once man team. She wanted to support me, and she did. She's a producer on both... Or all three. Yeah, the last three specials, and is very active on my team. She helped come up with the design of the stage for this last special. She's just very smart. She's very active and involved, but I'm fine with her not wanting to be in the limelight. If I was with someone that couldn't stop filming themselves, that would be crazy. When you were Kristen Wig, the two of you would be obnoxious together.

Christie and I have had this conversation a lot about famous people and famous relationships, two entertainers in a relationship. It's a lot. I think we were talking to Pappie Leao about this. She was like, we were talking about, If we were in a bunker, what would be your thing? If you went down into a bunker and the world was in, everybody had their lane. We agreed that the two, Popy and I should never be in the same bunker because we just fight for attention. It would end up being bad news.

Oh, anytime I start posting a lot, Jekyll, she likes to joke with me. She's like, Do you get enough attention? Is that good? I'm like, Yes. That's great. Did you get your fixed? She keeps me grounded. Did you get your fill? Did you get your in?

Fortune's brand new special on Netflix. Number three. Congratulations. I think there's- Thank you. Not everyone can say they've got three Netflix specials.

Three-hour specials, two-a-half hours. A lot of content out there.

Thank you. Let me ask you, do you- Keep it going. Thank you. Do you produce them and then sell them to Netflix? Or at this point, does Netflix come to you and say, Give us another hour?

I'm in the Netflix family. I'm on a radio show with Tom Papa for them. We've done for the last five years. We love Tom.

We had him on, too.

Yeah, he's awesome. And so right now, they've been through Netflix.

Yeah. Well, congratulations.

I know. Who knows? But yeah, so far it's nice to be part of that family. And that worldwide platform is so cool. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah, December third, crushing it.

December third, which is this upcoming Tuesday. So while you are- I talk about crushed ice.

Yes. Oh, crushed ice.

Southerners love crushed ice. Yes, we do. Yes, we do.

So real quick story. So the family wants to go on a vacation right before school starts. It's like a last minute thing, right? Okay, let's go. Let's take the kids and get them the last giggles out or whatever. The only place that we can find is a place in Panama City Beach at the Margarita Villa.

Oh, yeah. You're going to have to go.

Oh, my God. I'm a fortune.

It was- You've been or you already went?

We went. We walk in. There's these beautiful brand new like, Bungalows, right? They're brand new. It's been open for like a month. We go in and I'm like, okay, this isn't that bad. I thought Margaritaville. Surely I'm in for some special treat, Red Neck Arama. But it was the The places were lovely. And in every bungalow, they had a crushed ice. Those little pellets. Come on now. They just kept making... It was a whole bucket full of them. Like Sonic. Yes. And they had a margarita machine. It was like, you just take the crushed.

A cherry limeade with that crushed ice?

There's nothing better than crushed ice. So when you watch my special, you will see the significance that crushed ice comes into my journey. Okay. Oh, crushed ice.

All right. So December third, this upcoming Tuesday, Fortune's A brand new special is out. Foo Bar will have another season. Watch the first season, then another season coming out, a release date TBD.

Sometimes spring. Oh, and I'm announcing a whole new big tour that's starting April first. When do you sleep? So another 100th city. Because you also got a podcast. I also have a podcast called Handsome. Wait, podcast?

Yeah. Netflix is a joke with Tom Ponsler.

It's a lot. You should see my calendar. It will make you throw up.

Well, I'm just glad you showed up here.

Yeah, thank you for your time. This is so cool to talk with you guys.

No, it's been our pleasure. And of course, you're welcome back anytime. I tell you what, when you get ready to go on the next tour and you need to sell a couple of tickets, you're welcome to come back. Thank you for sure. Because I have two pages of questions, of which I asked three.

So there you go. And come to Atlanta. I love it. I will. Atlanta is a good spot. I did the Cob Center last time. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's huge. Wow, that's huge.

Yeah, that show was incredible. I'll definitely be back.

We'll be there. I can't wait. We'll be there.

Wait some biscuits. There you go.

Yeah, they crushed ice.

That's right.

All right. Fortune, faith, makes sense. Thank you very much for joining us. We love you, and congratulations on all this success.

Thank you. Thank you, guys.

Have you been missing something from your life? Of course you have. You listened to the Commercial Break, and what you've been missing is me, right? No? Damn. Well, if what you're missing is a little giggle, you should follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at TZV podcast because we're posting clips, we're being silly. You'll get a little laugh out of it, I promise. If what you're missing is communication, Text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822, and someone will respond, definitely. Unless you're being creepy or mean, in which case we won't. And lastly, if what you're missing is a jump through the Internet, check our website at tcbpodcast. Com and explore to your heart's desire. And those are really all the ways I can help you. So maybe you're missing something from our sponsors? Let's find out.

Well, thank you to Fortune. We are fortunate to have Fortune come in and share a little, spread a little joy with us.

Sprinkle some of her Fortune dust.

She's so sweet.

She's so down to Earth. She's so She's so funny. She's so talented.

We've said this about 75% of the guests who are on some meteorite rise, which seems to be the only reason to come to the commercial break. You're either on the way up or on the way down. Let's say 75% of our guests have been on the way up, and they're all taking it so well, in stride. I think maybe they're learning some- Very humble. No Brat packers here. Of course, we didn't have Rob Lowe in 1991. Do you remember when Rob Lowe got busted? Sleeping with some underage girls here in Atlanta after going to Club Any Time or something? Yeah. Wasn't it Club Any Time or Backstreet or one of those? Rob's learned the lessons, though. He did. Yeah. A few facelifts later, and he's doing Okay. Poor Rob. I don't think poor Rob.

What's that? I don't think poor Rob. I think he's doing quite well for himself. He's everywhere. He's in all these new shows.

I know. I love Rob. I think he's a great actor. His autobiography was good. Yeah, but there weren't too many facelifts. That's all I got. That's why reading about Arnold Schwarzenegger's anti-wrinkle diet, I don't know how well it's worked, but you can do it for free. It's like put raw eggs on your face or something like that. Yeah, no.

I actually subscribe to his newsletter. Oh, you do? I get his newsletter every week, and it's really interesting.

Yeah, he's an interesting guy. He is. There's no doubt about it. That is like one of the quintessential American tales. Come over here from a strange country, don't know a fucking word, and then make yourself the world's biggest celebrity 30 at one point, and still is. Like Fortune said, he's world famous. That's a different famous. But she's got to be world famous, too. Netflix is in every country. It's not like you can't see Fortune's shows or comedy specials if you live outside of the United States. That's right.

For those of you that don't live in the US, go turn on Netflix, listen to her special.

Watch it. Listen to Chrissy. She's got all the advice that will help you out. Her new special comes out December third. That's this upcoming Tuesday. If you would do us a favor and fortune a favor, tune into that special. I think you'll find it to be closing. Crushing it. She's crushing it. She is a very good storyteller. Like she said, those stories are 7 to 10 minutes long, and she does a great job.

I admire this so much, and you are a great storyteller as well. Oh, thank you. I think Jeff is. It's a gift. It really is, and something that needs to be honed. I mean, it's like when I go to Mimfo and I come back, you say, What happened?

And you're like, Why don't I had a drink. We had a great time. Okay. You would get like...

We would probably have a month's worth of material if I would know how to do the storytelling.

Okay, thank you very much. I've heard this before from other people. You're very gifted. I don't know how it all started, but I just learned how to weave a tale. Trust me, like Fortune said, 90 to 95% of it is true. But then you got to learn how to twist some parts of it to bend your comedic will, so to speak. That's what you have to do. And so thank you. I'm nowhere as talented as Fortune is at it, but thank you very much. That's very kind. Jeff is a good storyteller, too. And that's not everybody's style of talking or style of thinking. But it resonates with me because I am a storyteller. So when I see somebody else telling a story in a really good way, then I love it. You are so good at so many other things, Christie. Storytelling doesn't need to be your thing. You are a lovely human being who always looks at the glass half full. You're empathetic to all your other friends and family members. You spread joy in this world. Your laughter is fucking infectious, that's for sure. If we've heard that one time, we've heard it a million times on the commercial break.

Quite frankly, people like you a lot more than they like me. That's okay. That's just part of the cake. You put yourself out there more. I do put myself out there more. I give people more reason to dislike me. That's okay. We We all have our lots in life and our crosses to bear. Let us think about that as we head into the Christmas season. Look for those 12 days. Twelve days of TCB carrying our cross. Okay, I'm not even going to get to do it. Too soon. 2024 years later, too soon. It's too soon. All right. Okay, I apologize if I offended anybody, but I'm a comedy show. What can I do? We got to make a joke here and there. Okay, Fortune's brand new special. Go check it out on Netflix. Foo Bar Season 2 coming up in the spring. Another 100 city tour on the way. Yes. Get tickets fast because all of her shows are sold out. All of her shows are sold out.

We've got to catch her when she's here. For sure.

We say that a lot, a lot of people. Then for one reason or the other, we don't go or we can't make it. We've seen a few, but we can't make it to every show. But Fortune is one of those I would put on the map. Definitely. Well, I'm not going to name them. But Fortune comes, I would love to see. Yes. And Pete Davidson is out of rehab, or did he ever go?

No, they said that he never went.

Well, that's very interesting because right after he got off stage in Atlanta, all of a sudden, they said he was in rehab. I know. But he did tell us when we went and saw him, when he was working on that new material, that he was getting all of his tattoos lasered off. The tattoo removal is complete, Now you can see him. You can see his arms. There's no tattoos. There's a little sign, little tiny little ink marks here and there. But that had to been a very painful process to go through.

Wow, a long time. Takes a lot.

All the fortune's information will be down in the show notes, so you can go ahead and check her out on her social media at her website. Links to tickets and all that other good stuff. Christina will put it in there. Hey, listen, now every single episode of The Commercial Break is available on on youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. And soon, if it's not already, every episode will be available on video on Spotify. Check that out. It's the wave of the future. Spotify makes another fantastic move to crush revenue in the podcasting industry. But I like it. I like the idea that we can have video on Spotify. We just had to figure out how to monetize it. But who cares? We're not monetizing it anyway, so what does it even matter? Yeah, you know how it goes.

We were getting paid by the people's love.

Yes, we're getting paid in love. Unfortunately, my landlord doesn't take love as a payment, but whatever. All those sponsors... No, I'm kidding. There's a lot of sponsors of the show, and thank you to them. Also, at the Commercial Break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok, and tcbpodcast. Com. For more information about the show, all the audio and video is there, too. Your free sticker at the Contact Us button, 212-433-3822. 212-433-3tcb. Thanks for joining us on this special Saturday episode of the Commercial Break. Christie, that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there on the podcast universe. Enjoy your weekend. Until next time, we always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. If you got a softie in your brain, you're going to have a softie in your pants. You know what I'm saying? Have no family celebrate Christmas with this year? The Commercial Break is live the entire holiday season to make you even more miserable than you currently are. So put your Christmas pajamas on, gather around the Christmas tree, and listen to brand new episodes of The Commercial Break.