Transcript of "RE-RELEASE: Nate Bargatze" New

Do you want anything? Uh, one second, I just want to— do you want something? Okay, okay, great. Can I get, uh, one crispy chicken, two crispy for you, because I don't— not— you want two for yourself? Okay, no judgment, that's fine. And, and, and ice cream. Do you guys even serve I— you know what, do you mind if we just do this after? Welcome, it's an all-new Smartless. Smartless. Smartless. Smartless.

We were just talking about Shawshank, and I was going to say to Will J before he came on, that my philosophy in life is kind of—

Oh, this is good. Hang on.

No, this is good. This is good.

You'll like this.

Everybody pull over and get out the pen. By the way, this is Shawshank Redemption, I think.

Shawshank Redemption.

Tracy, the film.

So the end of the movie. So the whole movie, Morgan Freeman is talking about like, you know, he goes in front of the— what is it called? The panel or whatever. The people who—

parole board.

Kind of the board. Yeah.

The parole board.

Yeah. And he's— parole board. And he's like— he tells them what they think they want to hear. He's like, no, I've been, you know, reformed.

I'm good.

I've learned. I learned my lesson. And they always deny his parole. And then at the end of the movie, he finally just is like, you know what? Fuck it. This is who I am. You people are crazy. I didn't learn anything, blah, blah. And then that's when he gets released.

That's it.

That's my philosophy for life.

And that's what full release comes from honesty. Well, two ways. Sorry.

So everybody go ahead and put your car back in drive and toss that paper either out the window. If you still have an ashtray in the car, use that. 'Cause we really didn't get an end to it, but—

It's nice that Sean's philosophy on life is like, "Don't try to be something you're not." Yeah, exactly.

Right. I agree with you. Authenticity is a thematic that I'm on a project that I'm working on right now. That's the theme of the thing. Oh, very good. It's a great evergreen.

Authenticity.

Hey, Jason.

Yeah, hi.

Why did the man fall down the well?

Oh boy.

Because he didn't see that well.

That's exactly right.

Wait, who— wait, Willie, you got, um, when we had Jordan Peele on, his film, uh, Nope. Yeah, I, I always just thought it was just a fun way to say, yeah, no, I'm not comfortable with flying saucers, as the main character, and this shit freaks me out. But it's actually an acronym for—

it's an acronym. He— and well, he said it's an for them. Yeah. And I just went— and I thought about for 2 seconds, I went, not of planet Earth.

Planet Earth.

I remember the look on his face. He was, he was a little mad, I think.

Well, what— no, what you were seeing was the same look that I had, which is total shock at your level of intelligence.

Yes.

Just like, that was my stunning surprise.

That's what hurt me the most was the stunning— the stunned look on everybody's face when I do something.

Well, we're gonna have a stunned look at your guest when he comes.

Well, he's going to have a stunned look at—

sorry, Sean, did you have a lunch?

He's gonna have a stunt look at your— when when he heard your joke, for sure, because he tells jokes for a living.

Oh, shit.

Here we go.

And he doesn't just tell jokes.

I—

Man, he— This guy tells jokes.

This son of a gun.

This son of a gun. And that's kind of the language that he would use too. Son of a gun.

Dax Shepard's coming back? He—

Dax does love son of a gun.

He does.

This guy uses—

I don't know.

There's something about everything that he does. His delivery, his turn of phrase, the things he talks about, the way he does it. A lot of people call him the nicest guy in stand-up. I think of him as just the funniest, hilarious dude I've seen in such a long time. And I remember the first time I was— I heard about him was through our old friend, uh, Greg Garcia.

Oh yeah.

Whom— yeah. And Greg was like— Greg reached out to me, he's like, right, you have to have this guy on, blah blah blah. And I made some glib remark. He's like, you're gonna regret it. I go, I think he's hilarious, relax, Greg. And then JB, you and I had the pleasure of meeting him.

Really, really make you repeat the glib remark right in front of me.

We met him really briefly up at, uh, last year up at Pebble Beach. And he's as nice as he is fun and it's all YouTube.

I love this guy.

He's so, so funny.

I love Ray Romano.

I love the Tennessee Kid. Ray Romano? I love the Tennessee Kid. I love his new special, Hello World, on Amazon. He's about to go on tour in a new one. Guys, it's none other than the hilarious Nate Bargatze.

Nate Bargatze!

Hello. Even better.

I was ready for Ray.

I love Nate Bargatze. I'll get Ray.

Oh, how great.

Nate, it's good to see you again.

Good to see you. Sean. Hey, just a little fun note, never seen Shawshank, so that's, uh, well, you're young, you're too young for it, you know, it's before your time.

You're— wait, wait, how old?

I'm 44. I should have—

pretty young.

You know what, Nate, I didn't see Shawshank till I was 45.

Oh, I'll do it next year.

Anyway, Nate Bargatze.

Nate, dude, Nate, this is really nice.

Great to see you again because we did meet. Yeah, we did meet up at Pebble. Yep.

Do you live in a nice house or are you in a nice hotel room? Where are you?

In a hotel room. I'm in Syracuse.

Okay, working.

I got a show in Syracuse. This is, uh, can't make it here, can't make it anywhere, you know.

That's what they say. They don't— that's what they say.

I like— Nate, I like that Sean said— you said I'm in Syracuse. Sean goes, working?

Nah, he's just hanging out with the Orange Men.

This is the vacations I can afford. You go, it's nice.

We took a bus up, uh, but it's, you know, we spent on the hotel room.

Yeah, yeah, everything went to this.

Um, now what kind of—

my family of 30 is right off camera. They're just right there.

They're—

if y'all talk during this, I will kill you.

When you, when you are traveling around, you're doing these shows, uh, what size is your, is your, is your, is your group footprint?

How—

what, how— what's your posse size?

Uh, we have, uh, probably like 10 guys, uh, because I bring, uh, 4 openers. Actually, tonight Oh, we got a surprise opener. He won't be here till later. Uh, Jimmy Fallon. Fallon is coming to the show.

Oh, that's great.

He's going to jump on the bus.

Where do I know— to tell me what we would know him from?

Uh, that movie, uh, Taxi. Pitch Fever.

Taxi Fever with Queen Latifah.

Yes, I remember Taxi.

Yeah, Jimmy, right now, by the way, he's hearing this, he's sharpening his knife hearing us say this.

Well, Nate, I have to say this, we developed the show together years ago.

What?

And you were very successful then. But to see you over the years, this kind of like— and then SNL and then like, I— it's so exciting to finally be like, yes, this guy has been brilliant, has always been brilliant. And now more and more people get to see it.

And you sell— Nate, you sell out arenas like 20,000 at a clip, which is just unbelievable. And on top of this, and I'm going to say this, and I really— and I've said it a bunch since it aired when you were on SNL. Your sketch, your George Washington sketch, is to me, just in my opinion, the funniest SNL sketch I've seen in 15 years.

I totally agree with that.

I'm gonna look that up.

I totally agree with that.

Remarkable. Now your TV just went on, which tells me you're bored.

Yeah, I don't know why it turned on.

The family's bored.

Yeah.

The 30 men are getting itchy.

There's no one in there.

It's just you and Jim Benheim, right? Is that his name?

Do you want me to turn it off or does it matter?

No, no, just give me something to watch.

But you have, to echo what Sean's saying, you have just like kind of Finally, thankfully, the rest of America is just like, "Understand what an awesome, awesome, hilarious dude you are." So how do you start? You're the Tennessee kid. You're from Old Hickory, Tennessee. Am I right about that?

Yes. Old Hickory. Old Hickory.

Is it next to New Hickory?

No, New's a little bit farther.

Was it ever New Hickory?

No. He's got this great joke in his new special on Amazon Prime where he says, "I'm from Old Hickory. It's where Andrew Jackson's from." And people are like, "He wasn't a good guy." And Nate goes, "Well, we didn't know him that well, but—" We didn't know him at all.

But Nate, talk to me about when you were a kid and stuff. Like, did you— were you always into comedy? Did you watch SNL? Like, what were your inspirations?

I was thinking—

that's what I was getting to.

How did you start?

I just got there fast.

Uh, it's, uh, I grew up— my dad's a magician. What?

And does mine too. Mine can disappear in the drop of a hat.

Sean Hayes, you are talk show quick! Get out of here. Sorry, Nate. Thanks, you guys. Keep going.

No, that'd be— I grew up around that. I mean, so that was like, you know, it was funny. But then also growing up around, you know, my dad being a magician, uh, you learn patterns. Like, yeah, it just kind of leads you to it, I guess.

Wait, wait, wait. So Nate, so you grew up, your dad's a magician, he obviously loved you. Sorry, Sean. And he, I mean, to the extent that he wanted to stick around.

I'm friends with Sean's dad. Yeah. Oh, so you know where he is? Yeah, yeah, he's a pretty good dude. Yeah, I don't know the whole backstory, but I know I just know from what our hanging out is.

He's got no tread left on his tires, but he's a good guy.

He texts you a pin to his location.

So what was that like growing up with your dad being a magician? That's pretty rad. An illusionist.

Yeah, yeah, it was the best. Uh, it is, you know, I don't know if I even understood it. Like, I'm sure I think of it like my daughter, and I'm sure your kids, like, they— it doesn't seem not normal. Like, it just felt Like, it's like, that's all I ever knew. And it wasn't until you got older that you're like, "Yeah, dude, nobody's dad's a magician." Yeah.

Start saying you don't know when you're asked what your dad does. Right. Yeah.

So he would make a living doing that?

I mean, I have people do magic, like magicians would show me magic tricks. I've just seen 'em all too. And I just, I'm just not a good, I'm not a good person to perform for 'cause I'm just like, "All right, Nico." You know, it's like, "Is this your card?" You're like, "It's always mine. It's always my card.

It's always been my card." Every time I see magic, every time I see magic, I freaking love it. And I'll bet everybody listening loves it. I mean, how can you not love when you see a magic trick? I mean, a good one, a good one. But I never think about it. I never— and I always make fun of it when I hear about it. It's like you hear about mimes, but you know what? You can't take your eyes off a mime or a magician. It gets a bad rap.

You can't take your eyes off a mime.

Yeah, that's the quote of the day. Wait.

So Nate, so your dad, Sean was gonna ask this. So your dad made a living as a magician. He did.

He was a teacher too. Like, so he had a day job and then he would do that. And then we were always in Nashville and so he's just always done it. And I mean, he's very successful. He's very known in the magic world. He comes with me and opens for me a lot on the road. No way. And we will do these shows and, you know, it's every little boy's dream to travel with your dad when you're 44 years old. So we go, we got a little CPAP machine hooked up in a tour bus.

You got some ramps on the side of that stage?

Yeah, it's— yeah, I mean, we were— we had our bus parked out one time, and I had my— it was my dad, my mom, and my aunt. And I was like, people probably go by this tour bus and they're like, it's pretty rocking in there. And I mean, we got— it's lights off, quiet, just the roar of machines keeping everybody alive, and the smell of liniment.

Um, wait, so did you ever perform in the magic shows with your dad?

I did some. Yeah, I would help him with magic.

You ever get cut in half?

No, no, we didn't ever do that. We didn't— he never did that, go that far. He just— sleight of hand, a lot of sleight of hand. And he does comedy.

That's my favorite.

Yeah. So then when you— what age were you when you were like, uh, actually kind of to what Jason, you kind of alluded to, but did you start just like being a wiseass on the, on the side of your dad's stage while he was doing magic? Like, is that how stand-up started for you?

I think it was just being funny. We would like, I remember seeing standup, it was just trying to make people laugh. I don't think I ever really made fun of anybody. Right. But it was like I would make fun of myself a lot, which is what I do now in my comedy. Yeah, that's nice. It'd be like, you'd be doing stuff like that, making fun. He had, I mean, one time I've talked about this in a special on one of them, but it was like he brought the Easter Bunny home when I was like 6. He was at a mall doing a show and the Easter Bunny needed a ride home. And my dad goes, "I'll give you a ride home if you swing by my house." And so I remember the Easter Bunny, we had like, my parents had this old red Mazda stick shift, you know, and the Easter Bunny's head was bent to the side 'cause his head couldn't fit in the car. Sure. So he was just, he was sitting like this. And then he got out and I met the Easter Bunny and then my dad drove the Easter Bunny home.

So that started your, The Easter Bunny, say, say that was the—

yeah, that was the trajectory. I go, all right, I go, if I can beat that guy, then maybe I can make it as—

now, what, what was your mom's, um, uh, uh, attitude on, on, uh, her husband's career?

My parents have been together since 7th grade, and, uh, they— my mom's very funny, and— but she, she worked at a bank. I mean, she's just been— I mean, it's just stuff. There's like, growing up It's buying, you know, she has to go up, my dad will be like, "Go to the store, I need you to buy 12 lemons." And he has to buy for like his magic, or a bunch of newspapers from that day. It's like a bunch of random, and it's just normal conversation. You're just like, it's a Tuesday, you're just trying to grab some bread, milk, and 30 oranges. And then you get on out of there.

And handkerchiefs in 6 colors.

He's got a lot of shows this week. It's just stuff like that. You know, that's cool.

Wait, wait. So, Nate, so I want to kind of get— again, this is— we're the worst interviewers on the planet. We were just voted worst ever interviewers. We nailed it. Of all time. Yeah. But I want to go back because we— again, because you play these huge arenas and it's amazing. And I don't know if I've ever seen a comic so comfortable. You make it so intimate, even though you're playing a huge— there's something about it that makes it so personal and you're so organic. Yeah, you draw us in as opposed to ask for it.

And we're talking about authenticity.

You're very authentic. But you— that feels like you— that when you started, you must have started in clubs, like in smaller venues, right? Like most comics, I imagine. Oh, yeah.

So I moved to Chicago first for a couple of years, and then I moved to New York. And I was in New York for the most, for like 8 and a half years. And so I did all the clubs and all the, like, going up every single night. I performed for one guy once. Oh, my God. No way. Like, he wouldn't leave. We tried to get him to leave, and he was like, nah, it's all right. And you're like, we don't think it's all right. It really wasn't about him. You're like, what's up? Like, I don't want to stand up in front of a god. Uh, regularly up in front of 4 people, 5, 6. Like, I mean, 6 people was like, got a pretty good show going on, you know? You were— yeah, you were excited about it. No way. Yeah, so you just get used to just being in these kind of like, you know, it takes a long time before you're in front of like an actual paying crowd that's Good.

But what does that do for you? What does that do for you, like rhythm-wise, et cetera, when you're just doing 6 people? Like—

Well, I had to learn to get people into my rhythm very quickly. So since I talk slower and I'm from the South and all this, I had to figure out, 'cause I would follow like high-energy acts and then I'd come up and I'm like, well, I gotta come up with a joke or I gotta say something. I just need you to hear my voice for a second so you can go like, all right, readjust and be like, now we're in this rhythm and then get into the first kind of— That's good. You know, come up with a good, like, opening little thing or whatever and just— Yeah. And get rolling.

You know what always blows my mind about stand-ups, though? Like, how you can just walk around the stage for 2 hours and always have something to talk about and just— Like, how do you— Is it like a monolog you memorize? Or, like, how can you just go up and speak for 2 hours straight? God, he's gonna love show business, do you think?

Yeah, Sean, wait till you get a load of her.

He's gonna love show business. He's gonna love it.

2/3 of the planet is water. Um, yes. There's a couple of polls.

No, you know what I mean? That always blows my mind. Obviously you had material that you work on, but do you ever like—

there's your answer—

go up and you're like, oh my God, I don't know what subject to talk about next? Like the flow of it.

Well, I don't go up— I, yeah, I go up prepared. I mean, I can't do the other— I can't really do like crowd work or go up and stuff.

It's very good freestyling, bro.

No, I didn't work on it for months.

But Nate, do you ever switch it? Nate, do you ever switch the order? Based on the audience?

Oh yeah, this, this, this new hour, I've switched it a ton, but it's worked because now I'm opening on a joke that I have closed on. So it's like, it's great to be opening on a joke that I've actually had to have the energy and the rhythm of a closer. And then you just move it up and now it's the front.

And you're doing those decisions on the fly.

Yeah, you just fill it out. It's like, I mean, it's kind of like a song. Like, I like, I'm in love with standup. Right now, like, I love it so much. And it's, uh, I— the way I've looked at writing kind of is like, uh, it's a movie. So I'm the main character of this movie, and I'm not— I'm telling the story. I'm not— there's a— there's a, you know, a reason for me saying all this stuff, and everything leads into the other thing. Yeah. So you want to make it where people don't realize you're into another joke. But in my head, I could be on like joke 5, right? Right. You're trying to— I'm trying to make it where like And then that's how you remember it, 'cause the only way, you know, if you're talking about like riding a car and then you're like, my wife bought a car. Well, now that's the only thing I could go into. Right, right.

And we will be right back.

And now back to the show.

Who was your main inspiration as far as developing that style of telling stories as opposed to jokes? Was it like a George Carlin? 'Cause I seem to remember he was kind of like that too, right?

Yeah, well, a big— Cosby was one. Oh yeah, you know, obviously. But like that, if you go like watch his old stuff, it was— it's very storytelling, all that kind of stuff. I'm a big Seinfeld fan. Seinfeld was, uh, he was— I kind of think because I always looked at— I gotta tell stories but in a joke form, like, so it's— I mean, I try to never be too far from the laugh because the farther you are from a laugh, the bigger the laugh has to be, and I don't want to put put that much pressure on a laugh. So if I can just kind of keep it— that's interesting— going and let it build, it's like, you know, it doesn't— you're just not putting the weight of the world on this. You're like, right, because if they go— if you go silent too long, I mean, there's a point where you're like, well, this joke better be unreal. Yeah, Sean tried—

Sean tried stand-up, and we won't get to his opening joke, but he was— he started so far from the laugh, and then he never got even to the same area code as the laugh, you know what I mean? Like, he never— he never— he never had actual direct sight on the laugh. They never got a clean look at it.

It turned into a lecture, and there's no way you're like, no, he's supposed to go— well, he'll never get out now.

Even with a series of mirrors, he couldn't see the laugh.

It was so obscured. Yeah, that's how I drive around town.

I only take right-hand turns. Um, but Nate, biggest bombing story? Like, did you just like, oh my God, this is the worst?

Like, yeah, yeah, there's a bunch. I mean, I— you blame it on— I had one, one time I thought it was the shirt I wore, and so I threw that shirt away. Yeah, I had a button-down shirt and I tucked it in I've never done that since. Uh, yeah, I was like, it wasn't me. I was just like, couldn't have been the material.

Yeah, this fucking shirt is killing me.

Shirt? What is this guy's deal? Uh, I've done a cruise ship. Uh, say no more. I wanna— I won a contest and your prize was, uh, to set your career back 5 years and do cruises. Uh, and so I go out and I'm doing it and you got to do like you gotta do a bunch of shows. So you do 30 clean, 30 dirty. I never had dirty, so it's like I couldn't even. And then you would do one another show. So you needed honest— because sometimes these people would come back and watch multiple shows. So you needed to have, you know, 2 hours of material or do crowd or be able to mess with the crowd or something. And I remember we, we go up and you would do one show at the beginning of it, you do like 5 minutes each, and it's kind of just like introduce— it's in the big theater and you're kind of just letting the crowd know we're comedians, we got a show back here, blah blah. So the other guy, uh, just was great and knew how to like— he shined a flashlight on the crowd, like just knew how to like really play with the crowd.

Always works. And he was like, come to my shows, every show is different. And he like made a big announcement how they're all different. And then I went up and I said, my— I go, come to one, it may be the other one, but the other one will be the same. I had to like— I was like, do not come to all my shows. Most will be the same. I don't have enough material to have them all be different. So, right, you can go to his shows, they will be different. Mine will be— and then I went and did a show, and, uh, it was— I started it and like they, they didn't laugh. And I was like, oh, these people have been to every show. And I'm not a crowd work guy, you know. And I'm like, so what do you do, man? And I, you know, some guys like, I'm in— he He's an oil rigger in the ocean. It's actually a pretty crazy job. And I was like, that's cool. And I just moved on.

It's like an insane—

people are saying crazy stuff. They're like, I'm a bank robber. I'm like, that's neat, man. What about you, ma'am? I had nothing.

No riffing.

And then I had to ride in an elevator with these people. I'm in the elevator in the ocean. You think it sounds like I made it. And I'm just sitting there and I had a hat on and I just hear some guy just trashing me. My shoulder's touching him and I just have to sit here.

Oh my God. But they do separate them between clean and dirty on a cruise ship?

That's exclusive to a cruise ship? Yeah, you would just have a show that's like, the kids can come to this show, your family can come to this show, and then you'd have like a night at, you know, 11 PM is like an adult-only show. You still can't be that dirty, but it's the idea of it is a little more, you know.

Yeah, you could have just dropped in a couple F-bombs and just raked them in.

Oh yeah, I got to curse as I talk about parking. I'm like, you guys ever parallel park? Just— and they're like, this guy's filthy. Yeah, I didn't even have any. I didn't even have— I had no dirty jokes. Like, there's no— I don't really— I don't talk about sex or, uh, right, like political, or like there's nothing like really like that's kind of like this. What about political sex?

Will you ever touch political sex? Is that something that you'd be willing?

Yeah, if the right joke comes up.

Sure, sure. Uh, you know, it is funny. It is remarkable how, uh, how clean your stand-up is. And a lot of people— it's such a weird thing to have to say to point point out, but I guess it is worthy of pointing out. And it is, to me, such a testament to how profoundly funny you are. And honestly, and I hope it is a badge of honor for you. It should be, because it really— you find ways to talk about stuff, and you don't need to swear. I swear like a— Cosby never cursed, right?

Famously never cursed.

Well, let's— again, let's not try to, you know, look at— so let's not.

Yeah. But no, let's go down the avenue of Cosby and clean, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. This guy. So Nate, wait, did you— so at home, what's it like at home? So like, is this your— do you check out— do you run jokes by your wife? Does she okay them? Is she sick of hearing them? Like, what is that dynamic at home? I'll tell her.

Yeah, I like— she knows about every joke that comes up because that's something I had to learn too. When you make fun of your wife at the beginning is, uh, you have to show love. Like, you have to show— because people— because I remember at the beginning the reaction would be like, well, why are you married? And so then you're like, well, that's not what I want. You don't need to have that reaction. So you have to then make fun of yourself, but with her, and you gotta do it in a way that where they can tell that you do love your wife and you love your family and you, you know, and so it's just kind of like just making fun of each other. But yeah, I'll run by stuff.

But that comes across and you've got, you do that bit about the guy coming to replace the water heater in your other special and the, You go, finally the guy realizes you don't know what you're talking about. He thinks, maybe this is a modern relationship. And he says to Nate, the guy said, "Is your husband here?" And then you go, "Yeah, I think she's here somewhere." It's so good. And it is, like you said, you're self-deprecating. You're the butt of the joke, which I think is always such a winning combo. You're not making fun of somebody. You're not having a laugh at somebody else's expense. You're not putting somebody else down to make yourself look good. Funny, which is great.

Yeah, I, I just never liked it. Like, I felt bad. I mean, I'll like make fun of my buddies and comics and stuff. Yeah, in the audience, you just— I just always felt, you know, it's like this person's just trying to sit there. They don't need to— yeah, yeah, be like, big, what's your shirt? Your shirt's stupid. Yeah. And then I got my shirt untucked in, right?

Don't we all got stupid shirts? Yeah. Um, do you, do you still live in Tennessee?

Yeah. I moved back. So I was gone like 13 years. And then we've been back for about 9. Yeah. I hear it's beautiful down there. Yeah, it's so good, right? Yeah. I'm born and raised there. It's great. We have as much of a normal life as it can be. We live in a cul-de-sac. The house at the top. So we are the leaders. And we set the tone for it. I have a joke. I'll just say it. It's my new act, Russ. And we do— all in our cul-de-sac. We do all the right things. Like, if someone pulls down there, we're like, what are you doing down our street? Any car we don't know, we just run out, but you better get out of our cul-de-sac. I mean, just furious if they come down.

Um, brothers and sisters growing up?

I have a younger brother and a younger sister. So you're the oldest of the three?

And do they— do they— are they finding you funny all the time, or like Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My brother's like 3 years younger than me. My sister's about 10. I've talked about her in a special, and, uh, she, she works for me now too, so that's fun. I mean, you get yelled at by her.

Uh, I mean, you got your whole family, you got your sisters working for you, and then you're on tour with your mom and dad and your aunt.

And, uh, yeah, that's cool though. That's cool.

It's pretty rad. I mean, you— I don't think you've said this, but you— sorry, do you have kids?

Yeah, I have an 11-year-old.

Why are you so nervous to ask him that? Jason, by the way, He's married. He said he's not available.

What are the kids' ages? I did say before, don't ask about if I have kids. Yeah. Oh, all right, I guess we're okay. Uh, yeah, now I have one 11-year-old daughter.

Oh, okay, great. 11-year-old daughter. And what does it seem like she's going to want to do with her life? Does she want to, uh—

she loves horses right now, so I don't know.

That sounds expensive. That's expensive.

It is. I don't— but I don't even know where— no one— we don't come from horse stuff, you know?

You're not horse people?

No, they were never horse people, but she loves horses. So right now she's kind of doing that stuff, but she's very creative, very funny. And she, you know, will get me and my wife laughing a lot, you know? And I think I gotta teach her where to wear the joke. You gotta be like, all right, well, you gotta be serious.

Yeah, isn't that funny? It's like there's the age when they learn sarcasm, they learn humor, but they don't yet know when to stop. Stop the joke. They don't know when to do the joke. Um, but you don't want to shame them because you don't want to kill their spirit or their sense of humor. So you just got to kind of grin and bear with so many things in their life. It's so incredible watching kids learn things that we forgot that we learned, you know? Like, it's amazing. You know nothing until you learn it.

She can make fun of her friends recently, and like, I think— but then they all got like— it was like they did not like it, and I was And it was funny. I forget what it was, but it was something funny, but you're like, "All right, you gotta understand." You're like, "Some people will be able to handle it." Right. She just is all about the joke, 'cause it's obviously just our, you know, her grandfather's a magician, I'm a comedian. So it's a lot of joking.

Yeah, I think that making fun of your friends is not a good path to go down. It's not— Unless it's Sean.

Unless it's Sean. I mean, it's such a big button to hit. No, I thought we were talking about friends. Yeah, Sean is funny.

Oh, right. Yeah.

You know what I mean? I feel warm inside.

Where's that? What's after Syracuse? Where do you go next? Albany. Albany. So we started in New York.

Of course. Of course. Yeah. And just fucks connected to you?

Like, what are you doing, dude? Yeah, this is the route. I know we started last night. We were in Philly at the far— like, it was where the Sixers play. No way. It's this big thing. And then it goes Syracuse, and then it'll go Albany. And then that's— these are the two that Fallon wanted to come to, was Syracuse and Albany. Yeah, of course, that's a big— those are big venues up here.

Yeah, uh, he is, he's from Upstate New York. What, what, where are you? What, uh, what arena or place are you playing tonight in Syracuse? The, you know, the arena, the Carrier Dome, probably, right? Is that what it is?

No, no, yeah, no, I've been to a game there. That's like a huge— okay, uh, I've been to a basketball game there. You could feel it when the basketball court's set up. It's your— people buy tickets that are like, I don't think they can see the court, right? They're sitting like behind the court.

Would there be a crowd that's just too big for, for a comedy show? Well, it's just like, it's, it, it needs to be a little bit more intimate. Like 20,000 people is like right at the max maybe, or, or no?

Yeah, I mean, it's all about how many— we have like, you know, the arenas, we have these big screens, uh, we have— I've put more speakers up so everybody can hear it everywhere. Uh, you really do try to make it intimate. I mean, you can tell everybody gets real quiet. I mean, that's the cool— it's one of the coolest things is when you're telling a joke and you're— this many people are quiet. Yeah, you know, and this kind— and they're just— I mean, you could— I could yell with no microphone and the top person could hear me. It gets that quiet. Uh, that's so cool. So yeah, I mean, I'd imagine if you did a stadium, you know, I, I could see it getting a little— you know, and we're in the middle too of an arena, so It makes it a lot— I'm a lot closer to everybody.

Do a 100,000. Do a hondo. Come on, do the big house in Michigan.

Have you ever had a moment where you kind of scare yourself a little bit by thinking about all the eyes that are looking at you and that they're not talking and that it is silent and that you might not be doing well and you can't leave?

For another 45 minutes. Are you scared of the eyes?

Yeah. I mean, have you ever had a panic attack on a stage and know that you can't, you can't leave for another hour?

I have. Uh, yeah. I mean, I've done it so long now that you're—

it's, I mean, it's just like your knees bent. It's happened to me. I mean, yeah, yeah.

I, I mean, I've done it now. It's like, yeah, I mean, you, you think about it. I had an SNL, like, a little bit when I did the monolog. I was more nervous with the monolog because it's like stand-up and you're like, I'm supposed to be good. And at this, and, and then you got to kind of deliver the jokes into the camera, but there's the crowd. And so like, it was very weird to deliver jokes to kind of a spot where no one's at, right?

And you're right on the heels of, of sitting, of standing back behind that flat, behind the band, right? That little narrow little plank, and the whole crowd is silent and they're counting down to that live moment to America. Like, it becomes really tangible. Like, you're not just live in front of you know, you know, a crowd, it's beaming across, you know, the planet. Oh yeah. Like it's real tangible there.

Yeah. You're like, I could say anything right now and they're going to hear it right now because it's live, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Remember when I used to remember like 20 jokes when I was, when I was a kid, used to love them. And now I can only remember like 1 or 2. But go ahead and throw one from back then. No, they're not that great.

Go with that one, Jay. Do you have any jokes? You want to hear a guy tell a joke inside out? Go ahead.

I do get a little tripped up. Do you have a joke from when you were a kid that you'll never forget? You may not use it in your act, but it's just like, just a classic that was one of your favorites?

Yeah, I didn't use it in my act. You say you do? I hang— no, I didn't hang on to your like, I kept it. I started reading a joke book when I was 5 and I'm closing on it. I remember the joke. It was, I said there was a, it was a joke book or something. And there was a guy goes, "Waiter, there's a spider, or there's a fly in my soup." And then the waiter goes, "Well, don't worry, the spider on your bread will get it." And it was a picture of a spider on bread. And so my dad always brings it. I remember that joke. And then my dad brought it up, 'cause I would like, I was explaining why the joke was funny to him and like kind of going through it. Uh-huh. Like, here's why this is funny, you know? Uh-huh. So that one was the first one, but I let it go.

Do you guys have jokes from when you were a kid that you'll never forget? One joke that's appropriate to tell? Is there one, like, a go-to that you remember?

I had a joke book when I was really little. It was— You have a joke book now, but keep going. It's not funny. It was funny when I was like 6 years old. It's like, where do dead people— people go in your house, and it was the living room.

I have one which is like, people always say that ballet is really hard to do, and so I always say, just don't do it.

Yeah. Oh, see, Nate laughed. Nate laughed at that.

That was Sean's opening joke when he did stand-up.

And what is it— this would probably be interesting for folks, including me. What are the— how do you do the economics of being a stand-up. I'm assuming you have to bear all the costs of the trucks and the infrastructure and all that stuff, and then you get to keep whatever you don't spend on what it costs to put the show up, right? And you're making your money based on ticket sales and merchandise, perhaps? Full stop.

Yeah, yeah. We don't— I mean, merch is not— merch is not the biggest thing in stand-up. Uh, why? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, we've had it, we've done it at shows, and it's just— it does— it's not like a concert, or people don't Yeah, like I was saying, like, stand-up's still kind of— it's kind of a newer thing. Like, Cosby's like one of the first. He's still alive. And like, you know, like, he knew Lenny Bruce.

And then don't— you gotta— if I could give you one piece of advice, if we could just lose the Cosby references, if we could get it down to single digits, it would be great. Yeah. All right.

Or, you know what, I'm gonna just—

okay, I'm gonna send you a couple articles. Harvey Weinstein and I once set up an LLC But so you've got this huge— Apparatus. Yeah, apparatus, right? But you know, you could do it without it.

But you get like a deal. So you have promoters and then the, yeah, you are, I think it's like the promoter's the one that's putting the money for like the renting of the venue. And then I'm paying, then it comes out of mine, the show budget. Of the speakers and all that stuff. And so you can have it go as low or as big as you want it to go.

Who's your manager? Who are your peeps?

Brillstein. They're the Brillstein and UTA. Yeah.

We'll be right back. All right, back to the show.

By the way, backing way up to the beginning of this interview, what is bargazzi? What is the nationality of Bargatti? Italian. Oh, it is? First of all, don't spit it out like that.

No, like, what the fuck is Haze? Son of a bitch.

What the fuck is Haze? Sorry, Nate. Jesus Christ.

I mean, I do do it, but I—

By the way, what the fuck is Bargatti?

I've just never heard of it before. This has really been a bee in my bonnet for a minute.

How do you even spell that?

I know, I can't even begin to spell it. I kind of— I knew that, but I forgot that I knew that.

Italian. I think we say it wrong as a family too. I think it's supposed to be barghazzi and we say barghetti. Like, it's just we've southerned it up. Oh, I say barghazzi. Yeah, I think a lot of people— when I went to New— when I lived in New York, they would always be like barghazzi because it's like Italian. And I was like, you know, I was like, I don't like tomatoes.

Do you have family in Italy? I don't know. You don't know?

Yeah, right. I think we've all agreed to kind of go— we had a family reunion once and we had family come over from Italy, and we, uh, got Kentucky Fried Chicken. And I think it was like from that moment was just kind of like, all right, y'all have a good life. We did it. We're gonna do our thing. Y'all do y'all's thing. And we just kind of gone our separate ways.

Well, Nate, what do you like to do, do you, in your free time? And you've got a lot of time like on a bus or you're touring or on the plane or whatever. What do you, what do you watch? What are the things? Are you a sports guy? Do you like, do you watch other stand-ups?

Is it Candy Crush? What, what's, how are you occupying your minutes?

Uh, yeah, I'm a big sports guy, so I watch a lot of golf. Like any, any sports— golf, UFC. Wants a lot of UFC. Oh, you do? Um, yeah, I'm a big fan of UFC. I wanted to— I wanted to peg that.

I wanted to pay you for a big—

it's just the most— I, uh, the honesty of it with like Dana White, just in the fighters, they can say whatever they want, right? So there's no, you know, like when Tom Brady, is he gonna retire or not retire? It's like it's all kind of a game and a show. And UFC kind of really is like, we just got a dude that just says, I want to fight this guy. Right. And then it just gets to it. And you're— I don't know, I kind of like— I love it.

But there's no romance to that too, though, right? Like, the kind of— There's the buildup to it.

I mean, then they get in the— you know, then they don't like each other. And then you're— you know, and then you go in there and watch them fight. It's not just watching a street fight. You're watching two professionals that have to, like, feel each other out.

Yeah. So you watch UFC, you watch golf. You like to play golf. You play golf when you're on the road?

Some. It gets hard, but it's because the shows and stuff. But yeah, I'll play some on the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's, that's kind of it. I mean, I don't know, it's like you're just running around, got a lot of stuff, a lot of hanging out. Like, the road is the most fun because it's just like a bunch of dudes. And, you know, this morning we went in Syracuse— we're in Syracuse— and this place has a hot and cold plunge thing. Sure. And, uh, will love it. So I've never done it. And then so, but they let us come in. So like we woke up and did that.

Wait, who's Boo Weekly? I saw something. Oh yeah.

What is that? So I, this is another, I told it on SNL, I tell it in my act too. But Boo Weekly, 'cause I have a joke about fighting an orangutan at a county fair. Okay. And where I read the story was there's a golfer named Boo Weekly. And when he read, he said when he was 15, he got in And he goes to this county fair. He's from like Georgia, like southern, southern Georgia. This is like the '80s, you know? And there you could pay $5 to fight an orangutan. An orangutan would be in a boxing ring with boxing gloves. And so dudes would pay $5 to fight him. And— That's hysterical. Yeah. And then guys would get in there and this orangutan would just knock people out. Because when I say this, I tell the whole story in my act, 'Cause we didn't have the internet to look up how strong's an orangutan. You had— it was all word of mouth back then. So, you know, you had to meet a guy that just fought an orangutan. And he's like, "He's stronger than you think." You know, you're like, "Well, the— but the arms are so skinny." You know, I know.

But the reach. And the reach, yeah.

It's the reach. It's the jab.

It's the feet. Look at his feet. His feet's bigger than your— Yeah, that strength comes from somewhere.

And they'll rip your face off too if they want.

Well, that's what Boo Weekee said. He goes, that's not written everywhere back in 1982 when you're fighting a rancid. The guy that does this doesn't go, oh, you sign a waiver. Sure. Yeah. You don't realize till afterwards, like, that's why he has gloves on. If this thing, if it gets the gloves off, there's a chance it will rip your head off. So, but you know, what do you do? Ride the scrambler again? Uh, yeah. Oh, I wonder if that's still an existence anywhere in the country.

I bet there's no place.

So they— PETA— I think PETA got a hold of a lot of this.

Sure, they knocked those things down.

And that one, they were like, you can't do that. We're like, all right, we thought they liked it. I'm glad you just had to tell us and we got rid of it. Fair enough.

Um, Nate, what are you gonna do today before the show?

Tell them you're busy. Uh, it was this and then, uh, yeah, it was just this. I don't have any, like, I gotta rework. I'm messing up some of the order a little bit, so I'll do that a little. And then, uh, we'll just hang out and be at the venue. If there's— we do try to shoot basketball, like some of these arenas, if they have a basketball goal somewhere, we're trying to like mess around, shoot basketball, just kind of, you know, do whatever until—

that's nice.

And then you're going— and then you're going on tour. You're good. You got a new special.

You're shooting a new special in Phoenix.

Uh, yeah, you love Phoenix. You love— you've taught— you did another— you did your last special in Phoenix. I did my last special there.

And this one's gonna be in the Footprint Center where the Suns play. So it's— Wow. It's, yeah, it's, yeah, I mean, it just kind of works out like touring-wise. Like you just hit these towns like every 2 years or so. And so it just kind of like—

And your family goes with you or do they stay home or?

They do some, yeah, yeah. We went to Europe, like they came to Europe. They come to the, you know, they're not here in Syracuse or Albany, but they, if they're gonna, I'm doing the Boston Garden, they're gonna come to Boston.

Okay, tell 'em to join you out in Phoenix for some of the best pizza in the world, as voted by the, the, the voters, by the people, uh, at Chris Bianco's.

At Chris Bianco's Pizza.

Can you do— I saw you do this one thing a long time ago. You don't have to do it, but if you're like, I gotta go— but one of the funniest things I ever saw you do—

sorry, dude, you want me to stand up and do my act?

Do you mind?

I mean, if you just show us your tits real quick and then get— and then go to—

would you mind doing it topless?

Sorry, show us your tits. No, one of the funniest things was, I— it was a story about your meeting your wife's ex-boyfriend. Yeah, on the boat.

Yeah, yeah, I went. Yeah, we went, uh, I gotta remember it, but we went to— it happened, we're on the lake, Old Hickory Lake. Uh, is that true? Yeah, and we're in, uh, we're like in the water, and then it's, uh, my wife's ex-boyfriend was on a another boat, right? And I didn't see him, and she pointed out— like, there's no reason to point it out, and— but she pointed it out. So then, yeah, like, all I can think of now, like, I'm, I'm thinking about him, like, and then I look at her and she's looking at him, and I feel like she's looking at him to see what her life would be like if she didn't marry me. Yeah. And I was looking at him to see what my life would be like if I didn't marry her. Uh-huh. Uh, so we're both putting a lot of pressure on this guy. And then my buddy told me, he's like, you should go fight him. And I was like, what? I got to— like, he's on a boat. Like, I got to swim over to that fight. Yeah. Have you ever tried climbing a boat from water?

It's not graceful. It's not easy. You don't come in with power. I would need his help to start the fight.

Right, right.

I think that was it. Yeah. That was so funny.

But I just— I mean, we can all relate to meeting actors exes, you know, our current exes.

I don't know, it's never good.

But I— yeah, I don't— my— I— yeah, I don't really have exes. But all right, well, I got—

what are you talking about? Hang on a second.

I didn't go— I know, but that's what made it frustrating. I don't— I had no one to go show my wife. Well, here's mine. Yeah, I was just gonna meet— what do you mean?

Because you— what is she your high school sweetheart or something?

No, we started dating like 2021. We met at Applebee's. We both waited tables at Applebee's. I was a host at the time. That's great. You don't need to scream.

Yeah, well, stuff is going— sounds like it's all good in the neighborhood. Or what are we—

we're all in the neighborhood. We're all in the neighborhood or something. We're big fans. We took our daughter.

What was your favorite thing on the Applebee's menu?

Here we go. They had the chicken broccoli Alfredo. I'd get no broccoli. Yeah, get that out of here. Yeah. And then, uh, I'd say put it on the side just so the guy thinks I'm going to eat it. Then he would just take a full plate of broccoli back after. I got full on the other stuff. Uh, that's so true. Like, we— like, we're worried what they think.

Yeah. Yeah. Watch this. Do you think that's impressive, Sean? Applebee's menu backwards. Go.

Uh, cobbler. Apple cobbler.

Uh, of those kind of— those kinds of restaurants.

Chinese chicken salad. Oh yeah, yeah, I'll eat that.

Every, every place makes a Chinese chicken salad now. That's like, that's kind of like the new, uh, you know, molten lava cake. Every place has a Chinese.

What makes it, what makes it a Chinese chicken salad? It's just because of the ginger dressing.

They're the only ones that don't eat it.

And those, those crispy noodles, the crispy noodles and the, uh, yeah, you get the crispy. Chin Chin. No, listen, Sean, I don't have to tell you. Chin Chin does the best. One.

Yeah, one of the best ones.

One of the best.

One of the best ones.

Sean's handling his chin chin chin. Wait, so of all those kinds of restaurants, I forget what you call them. Are they big box restaurants?

No, chain restaurants. Chain restaurants.

Have y'all not been to one in a while?

Like, you just—

it's been, it's been a minute. But I did like to— in your new special, Nate says everything, everything I learned— I don't know a lot that came from a big, like, in like a building, like a higher education building. Everything I learned, I overheard at a Target or a Lowe's. The Lowe's, the line at Lowe's.

Everything I overheard Target. Yeah, we're big chain. I mean, I grew up like, we're, uh, you know, I had an old joke about like, I was a big, uh, I don't like mom-and-pop shops because they can close just, they're like, we don't feel good today, and they close. Like Walmart, Walmart, you know, they were mom-and-pop shops at some point, and then they became, they got it together and became unreal. Yeah, so yeah, I like those too. I like mom-and-pop shops.

Here's what I like, I like Chili's. Chili's, and I'm not afraid to say it.

I love it. They have the great chocolate lava cake. If you want one, go to Chili's. Go to Chili's.

And they also have the great— they used to have the Southwest egg rolls or whatever. They used to have those things. They were great. Me and Dax used to always go to— God, I love a Chili's.

What about Outback? They any good with the Bloomin' Onion?

Yeah, yeah, we go to Outback a good bit.

Scotty worked at TGIF and he would have—

oh, I used to love that place.

That's good too. That's fun.

That's an intimidating menu.

Dr Pepper's doing some pretty amazing things right now. Uh, so if you are into Dr Pepper, Diet Dr Pepper, they got that right. Good stuff going on. It's some cherry, right? They got some like some soda, like cream soda, strawberry stuff. I mean, it's, it's something, dude. They're, they're showing off over there.

Did we ever get any confirmation on, uh, on the doctor portion of the Pepper? Like, did they—

did we ever see documentation to prove that he just died?

What kind of doctor was he?

Yeah, I mean, Dr. Pop. I do like Diet Dr. Pepper too. And I'm going to say this, I like their ads. I like their TV ads. Yeah, I think they're funny, the college football ads. I think they're real clever. Nate, before I let you go, how do you know Greg Garcia? How did that happen? This son of a gun.

Speaking of son of a guns, uh, so I, we, I've tried to make a bunch of shows that have never gone. We've had one show that we shot a pilot, and so Greg came in. I did not know him, but he came in. Danielle Sanchez Witzel, she was showrunning it, and she's friends with Greg. And so Greg came in to help us do it. And I knew Greg Garcia's work, but I didn't know him when he first came in. So before he first came in, he's like, he's gonna help us. And I was like, I don't know who this dude is. Yeah. I gotta listen to this guy. And then we wrote our whole, rewrote the whole script on his, off just his ideas, 'cause they were so good. And obviously he's unreal. And so we just become really close and become friends. I was just with him this week, actually, at dinner with him, 'cause I had to go to LA for a second. And so he's, yeah, we became friends like that. And he comes out on the road too. I'm telling you, y'all should, y'all come out on the road. If you wanna get away and have a little, Fun trip.

Come on out, dude.

That would actually be really, really fun if you mean it. It's a fun— if you mean it. I swear, Fallon's coming tonight.

We have a fun time. It's— you just, uh, play cards or you play, uh, you know, like we went to casino last night in, uh, uh, Sean.

I mean, first of all, this is your dream. They go to casino and they're going to chain restaurants. I mean, you know, every, every single— every Cracker Barrel's got, got, uh, skin marks in front from Sean's car.

Backer Barrel is one we didn't touch on. I've not been there, but I hear that's the one.

Anywhere that can handle bus parking, it's all changed.

Well, Greg Garcia is one of the all-time, uh, great guys. Super, super funny guy. One of the funniest pranks he always— I'm not really like a big pranks guy, but he is so funny. Had a long joke and a prank, and I just— he's such a great guy. So yeah, that makes sense that you guys would be pals. Um, Well, listen, I'm going to return the offer and say next time you're out here in California, let's go play golf, man, and grab some lunch. Such a huge fan of yours, dude. Honestly, you're just the funniest, funniest, funniest. So funny.

It's so good to see you. So exciting to see you. Just more and more and more people appreciate you.

Really happy for your success. Truly, truly, truly. Yeah, man. Thank you.

Yeah. Thanks for having me on.

Nate, thank you for doing this. What a thrill. Thank you for saying that. What a thrill.

All right. The great Nate Bargatze. Thank you, buddy. Thank you, Nate. Thanks, Nate.

Thank you, guys. Guys, see you.

Have fun. Bye.

The great Nate. The great Nate. Great Nate.

Funny. Yep. Old, like, old school, clean, good, hilarious, nonstop.

Yes. Yeah.

God, he just seems like a real kind fella, you know?

Yeah, I can't see him getting upset.

I'm sure you could figure out a way to piss him off. How would you? What would be your strategy if you really wanted to get Nate pissed off? Off.

I'd ask him questions over— I'd ask him the same thing over and over again like I didn't understand.

No, I think he'd be very patient with that. I don't think that would be his button pusher.

No, but if you just went on and on about something like you just really honestly truly didn't understand, I think it pisses anybody off. I wonder, like, what are you not getting? Right? Yeah. You know what I mean?

No, but we have a pretty high threshold. We have a pretty a decent amount of patience for you in that regard.

What is the thing that gets you guys to anger quicker than anything else?

Stupidity. People who don't think like I do.

I have a short fuse for stuff. I don't suffer.

I have a short fuse for, like, yeah, people who are incompetent or can't— like, don't have common sense about easy things. And then in the meantime, I'm the dumbest person on the planet, and I probably do the same thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate when— I hate when people, like, punch down, you know? Yes. Like, mean to people because they know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So lazy. Yeah, yeah, it is.

Punch down. Either— either— especially if it— you know, we, we do do a lot of joking around and we, and we love to sort of rip each other and stuff, but, but anytime I see somebody who likes to— and we talked about with Nate grate who likes to get a laugh at somebody else's expense. Yeah. Or you know what else pisses me off?

Confident ignorance.

That can also be super funny, though. Yeah, sometimes.

Well, in a character it can be, right?

You have to do it on purpose. But yeah, a person who is much smarter or much more confident than they have a right to be is just grating because you have to spend an effort to convince them that you're buying it, right?

But, but if you have no dog in that fight and you're just observing that person, it can be hilarious.

Oh yeah, yeah, that is true. That is true.

By the way, I love playing those characters. Yeah, you know, the character that's just, just an alpha everywhere, and then the tough guy walks in and then they're beta. Hi.

Yeah, yeah, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Exactly. But Nate, we should go see his show when he's out. He's so funny. Point.

I think we should meet him in Phoenix and go get some of that Bianco pizza.

We should. And then play some golf over there. You know, you're not playing golf anymore.

Not till October. I have to be disciplined, you know.

I know. I mean, we can go, we can go to Nate's—

here it comes.

We could go to his show and like participate, or we can go and just be a bunch of bystanders.

So dumb when Smartless.

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