Transcript of Ep 592 - 2025: A Year in Review

The Wild Wild West. Hey, guys. Happy New Year. We're here. Kind of an off week, but figured we'd hit you guys with a little best of 2025. We got some great stuff, man. Some good clips lined up. Before we get into that, I just want to say, again, Happy New Year. Thanks for watching. We are entering, unfortunately, that podcast crucible. Again, Shane is going to be gone filming for a little bit, but that's nothing to get gloom about. We're going to be jam-packed with super hot guests in a lot of good times. It'll probably make the next year's best of 2026. We'll see. However, let's just recap. What would happen in 2026, man? We got a lot of wars going on. There's that. We have a lot of wars, which not good. It's not good. There's been Israel-Palestine, which I believe is a ceasefire. So shout out to politicians for the ceasefire on that. And also Russia-Ukraine. Maybe that'll come to an end. And hopefully not Venezuela, but Bright-siding it, it's like, look, guys were getting busy, all right? Guys were doing stuff. No one was sitting on their ass this year. People were unfortunately fighting and killing hundreds of thousands of people.

But maybe next year, we can just do other stuff instead, but keep that same can-do fire and spirit. But guys, I didn't even come here to talk about war. I'm just recapping the year. 2025, wars, okay, fair enough. What else happened? What else happened this year? Big Big things that happened. Donald Trump is still the President, and we'll see, man. I think his sizzle is starting to fade. It's like the quiet piggy, that was definitely him pushing himself up there in the headlines. Aside from that, it's like, DJT is not hitting as hard as he used to. I think we're finally used to him. So he's got, I don't know, a couple more years left. And I don't know. I think we're We're on the cusp. And again, I'm just brightsiding New Year's time horizon. I think we're on the cusp of finally, as a country, stepping out from under Trump's shadow, which has really, if you love him or hate him, whatever. But he has loomed over this country for a decade. As long as this podcast has been going on, which is crazy, 10 years, Trump has been just a central fixture in the news.

And I think he's going to fade, man. And it's like, as much as people love him or hate him, it's like, I honestly don't know what it's going to be like without the guy, because in my opinion, it's like, are we going to get a Trump 2. 0? Or what are we going to get? We don't know. I'm excited. I can't wait to find out in 2028, but we'll have to wait for two more New Years to find that out. So we'll see about that. Stay tuned for two more years. In other news, we also have AI is booming right now. And oh, boy, another hotbed of controversy as well. Ai, apparently, it's getting better. There's billions Maybe even trillions of dollars being spent on AI research. And again, another thing people love, people hate. My thing is if you're worried about AI coming and taking your job, I don't hear all this all the time. It's like, what if AI takes my job? What am I going to do then? It's like, dude, let it take your job. There's no shame in a machine built by billionaires taking your job from you. What do you think you're not going to do better than that.

It's like, let it have your job. Let the state figure out your life for you. If I'm saying, if AI takes your job, that's nothing to stay awake at night about being like, oh, It's like there's nothing you can do. Just let it come take your job. And it's also like, most of the jobs it would take would probably be office jobs, which are mostly fake jobs anyway. So why would you worry about a machine machine built by billionaires taking a fake job from it. You're not even really working. Let it have your fake job. Just give it. Say, Hey, here you go, computer. You can have my job. I'm going to go outside now. And now you go from sitting like a fat ghost in an office to now you're outside. You get the sunlight on you, and now you got to go find food, which, in my opinion, is much more exciting than sitting in front of a computer and pretending to work in front of pictures of your kids. But you imagine if those kids could actually see you pretending to have a job to pay for them. That's fucking embarrassing, dude.

Let the machines have your job. Say, Hey, machines, come and get it. Let them come in and take it. Now you're on the outside. You got to go find food. And here's my thing. Here's how the fuck am I going to find food? I don't know, but if the AI came and took my job and all my work friends' job, and unfortunately, even my work wives' jobs as well, I'd start a militia. A peaceful militia, obviously. But it's like, you You go from sitting on your ass in an office every day with just groveling to your fucking boss, hoping they give you a little promotion. And that's fucking hell. Let the computer wipe that out. Now you're outside, you're doing push-ups, you're doing burpees. You and your friends can set up a little barbed wire crawl space. You can crawl through, do drills. If you get a few hundred people to do military drills in your front yard with you, my prediction is the government will start giving you food because they'll be like, Hey, guys, just here. Here's Just some food. And you don't have to be like, I'm not saying become like a terrorist cell.

That is not what I'm saying at all. We don't need any more of that. I'm saying do pushups in your front yard with all of your office friends. You guys are all in the office. Now you're in front yard, you're working, you're maybe digging little trenches and just, I don't know, just fucking find food. It'd be so much more fun to go and find food than sitting in an office. That's if AI takes your job. That's my whole point. So don't worry about that. We had AI, we had endless wars. And what else do we have? I don't know. I think they cloned. They didn't clone. They made a false embryo or a false womb in Australia. So science is going. We have a false womb for a kangoo to be born in. That's nice. Why don't we take it to one of these beautiful clips? Hold on, guys. Check this out. I didn't know you got drunk. We were on the plane together.

Do you know why scuba divers? You know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards? Yeah. Do you know why they do that?

Look cool.

No, because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat.

Come on, guys. Classic highlight reel 2025. Mark that.

Joke world, clip it. Joke world.

Highlight reel, 2025. Just run that back 25 times. That's what we'll do for the New Year's episode.

Just that joke. Over and over for three hours. You fall asleep to it. But you're going to laugh every You're going to try to sleep, and you go...

Oh, man, that was hilarious. And now we're back to the special New Year's edition. Guys, we talked about... We recap 2026, whatever, or 2025. I'm sorry about that. Sorry, sponsors. Recap 2025. I don't know, man. What else is out there? Recently, I actually just discovered that there's a thing that women experience. It's called a false pregnancy syndrome, where a woman will convince herself that she's pregnant to the point where her breasts start to lactate and her belly expands as if there were a child inside of it. There was recently a case. It was this year, actually. Shout out 2025. There was a case this year of a widow. Her husband had died. She was an old lady going through menopause, and her husband, unfortunately, died. Somehow, her body convinced her that she was pregnant. Her breast swelled with milk. Her stomach started sticking out, and she even thought she felt kicks. The lady went to a doctor to be like, What the hell? This is a miracle. Maybe it's my dead husband being reincarnated in my old withered womb. It turns out she went to the doctor, and her stomach was full of gas, and it was moving around her stomach.

But she, thinking those were baby kicks, stimulated her milk gland somehow to produce milk for this baby that didn't exist. And the doctor had to tell her, No, you just have a bunch of farts. You don't have a child. You have a bunch of farts in your stomach, and your husband's dead. Get over it. You're not pregnant, you old bitch. Go home. And like, damn, that person for sure is probably like, I can't wait till 2025 is over. 2025 is kicking my ass. I missed my husband so much that it became fake pregnant and farted in the ER. Just to be told that I don't have a baby. I just have a big fart in my stomach. Oh, man. Poor lady. And they also have this thing, too, called Cuvade syndrome, where guys, now, we talked about the girls, now it's guys time. Guys, apparently, I've never met a guy like this, but apparently, it's a real thing, where when a woman becomes pregnant, The man starts to biologically mimic some of the pregnancy response in the women. For instance, when a woman gets pregnant, there's this thing called nesting, where when they're pregnant, they'll go around.

It's a real instinct. They'll go around and start setting up the house. They organize the house like a bird with a bird's nest. They'll start moving stuff, redoing the closets. They get like, bins, and they start fucking putting things in bins, stuff like that. And guys now, apparently, they're saying they'll start mimicking those responses, even to the point where the guys will gain weight. Some of the guys even claim they feel a baby kicking in their belly, which is like, dude, don't. First of all, it's definitely gas. Second of all, never. Even if you're mimicking Taking your wife's pregnancy response, never say that out loud, dude. First of all, it's not real. And second of all, dude, don't never be like, I think I'm pregnant, too. They don't respect that. Just be like, No, I'm not even If anything, I'm just harder than ever looking at that fucking baby in your belly. That's something women can respect, honestly. Don't tell them like, My nipples are sensitive, too. Dude, that's fucking disgusting. Take it to the grave, man. If your wife's pregnant and you're I think I'm afraid. Don't do that, man. Got these guys going to the doctor.

It's called Kuvade syndrome, which is like, it's fucking brutal. I'd rather have a guy hold me down and finger my butt and tell someone about that, then come up to my friends and be like, I started actually mimicking my wife's pregnancy symptoms as well. Don't, dude. Don't talk about that to anybody. Keep that to yourself. All right? My breasts are actually a little swollen. Dudes will gain weight a lot. There's guys Just waking up with morning sickness. It's like, dude, what the... It's not... Your stomach hurts. Stop pretending you have a fucking baby. I don't know why people, guys and girls are like, or having fake pregnancies. It's like, just stop, man. It's Fucking that's really weird, and it's really unbecoming of a man to try to get in on pregnancy glory. That's all I'm saying. That's not your stuff. Again, just to recap, I would rather have a guy hold me down, whether he pinned me down by my arms on top of me or just knocked me over like a Stone Cold Stunner, came around my back and just started fucking blasting my butt with his face. I don't know. However he gets it, he gets it.

Maybe we're just both lying on our side. He trips me. We're lying on our side on some side doggy or whatever. I don't know. Guys, let's take it to a clip. I didn't know you were drunk. We were on the plane together.

Do you know why scuba divers? You know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards? Yeah. Do you know why they do that?

Look cool?

No, because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat.

Come on, guys. Classic. Highlight Reel 2025. Mark that.

Joke world. Clip it. Joke world.

Highlight Reel 2025. Just run that back 25 times. That's what we'll do for the New Year's episode.

Just that joke. Over and over for three hours. You fall asleep to it. But you're going to laugh every time. You're going to try to sleep, and you go...

All right, guys, that was something else. Hey, let me tell you guys about something. On the way here, right? I'm coming to my office. I'm like, I'm just driving peacefully. I can't wait to do this best of 2025 compilation for the fans out there. They're going to love this. Can't wait. As I'm driving, I also got a Christmas present from my brother. Shout out, Billy. I got a nice Stradicaster. Yeah, Stradicaster. No, Telecaster. My bad. So I'm driving my telecaster, my new Princeton reverb amp that I went and got from guitar center. Shout out to the guys down at guitar center. That's really, dude, I'm not trying to act like the man, but I know when I walk into a guitar center, there's my true core fans. Every time I go into a guitar store, Sam Mash guitar center, it's nothing but the bros, dude. Nothing but the bros. Always hook it up. Thank you, guys. Yeah, so that was nice. Walked in there, and I got my Princeton reverb amp, which is what Billy told me to get. And so I'm driving it. It was at my house. I'm driving it to my office so I could have it here in my creative workspace, and I'm driving it.

So I had to drive slow because I have a pretty big amp. It's sitting on my seat. I don't want to hit my brakes really hard because it's a tube amp they explain to me, and they can break easy. So I'm like, All right, let me drive carefully. So I'm coming to a four-way stop sign on the way to my creative workspace for living space. And so I'm driving here, and I hit the brakes, like coming up to the stop sign slow because I didn't want to jam them and have it fall over and break one of those tubes. So I'm easing on the break. And meanwhile, at the intersection, a cross For me, there was an old man in a Subaru, and he was coming perpendicular. So he was this way. So I came to a stop too slow for his liking. And I pulled up to an intersection with an old man in a Subaru giving me the stank eye. And I I don't know what it was about that, but it just... It's been the holidays. Me and my wife and kids are just fucking crammed in the house. It's all day, nonstop, blah, blah, blah.

So I'm a little cranky. I'm a little bit cranky. Obviously, I'm stoked to come here and do the best of 2025. But I'm a little cranky, man. I'm a little fired up, and I'm taking a 40 plus vitamin that has Tom got to lead. So my tea is going nuts. And I pull up to this intersection with this old man in a Subaru looking at me like he's about to beat my ass. And he was getting me this. He was sitting there, he's just going like... I pull up to this guy just going... And I fucking look at him like, What the fuck are you going to do? And I literally, out my window, I said, What the fuck are you going to do, old man? You bitch ass Subaru. I'll fuck you up in that fucking Subaru. And I was like, that's not me. I'm leaving that me behind in 2025 because I really, for a second, was hoping that the old man would get out of the Subaru, and I would If I were to literally fucking bash his head into the winch. I would have killed this guy. I know. It's disgusting.

I'm not trying to do that shit in 2026, but for a second, I was like, dude, if this old man gets out of the Subaru, I'm not saying I'm the toughest guy in the world. But an old man in a Subaru in Austin, dude, I could British Bulldog his head right through the fucking passenger window easily. I would have left this guy in a bloody, discarded heap on the side. I would have drove over his concussed My body, I was so fucking angry. But he drove off, and I calmed down, cooled off, made it to my creative workspace. I don't know, man. It was just something about that old man in a Subaru flexed on me. I'm like, Bro, Again, not the toughest guy in the world. I'm not out here looking to fight people, but an old man in a Subaru just giving me the nastiest look. And what I wanted to tell him was like, Dude, I have a fucking tube amp in the back of my CRV. If it falls over, it's going to be pretty costly to repair this. And all I'm doing is breaking slowly, taking my time to get to the stop sign.

And you're looking at me like I'd already run it. You're charging me of a crime I didn't even commit. And now you're looking like you want to fight. It's like, I'll fucking fight you right now, dude. 2025, leave the shit behind. We'll both move on. Maybe you won't make it to 2026. It was a pure lib spaz. That's all it was. And again, whatever about politics. We're done with those. But an old man lib in a Subaru probably has 47 potted plants in front. Old libs love putting 97 potted plants in front of their fucking houses. It's another thing, man. Get them out of the fucking sidewalk. I'm trying to walk, fucking put them in your backyard. You don't need 40 fucking fern plants outside of your house. Nobody gives a shit. It's 40 fern plants of Ruth Bader-Ginsberg sticker on your window. Get a fucking garden. Put it in your backyard. Put those plants. You have a backyard. I know the layout of the whole neighborhood. Put them in your fucking backyard. Don't have 40 potted plants and drive around your Subaru, giving everyone the stank face because you clearly see, dare I say, a Silver Fox Alpha coming.

You know I have a Princeton reverb in the back of my CRV. Hey, you want me to break a fucking tube? And I'm like, Let me just come to an easy stop. You're going, What the fuck are you? I'm like, Excuse me, sir? Fucking excuse me? Anyway, guys, that's not good. Guys, let's go to a fucking clip. That story sucked. I didn't know you were that drunk. We were on the plane together.

Do you know why scuba divers, you know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards? Yeah. Do you know why they do that?

Look cool?

No, because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat.

Come on, guys. Classic. Highlight Reel 2025. Mark that.

Joke World, clip it. Joke World.

Highlight Reel 2025. Just run that back 25 times. That's what we'll do for the New Year's episode.

For the New Year's episode. Just that joke. Over and over for three hours. You fall asleep to it. But you're going to laugh every time. You're going to try to sleep There you go.

Oh, man, we're back, dude. Also, guys, please make sure to like, comment, and subscribe. And when you comment, it really helps the algorithm. It just boosts us into the algorithm and makes us more visible. So more people can access this content you love and know and love. All right, so we talked about the old man, the Subaru, and it's like, I've already moved past it, man. I forgave him instantly. It's just, God damn it, I hate that face when you pull up and someone goes, it's like, How dare you question my... You don't even know what the fuck I'm doing, dude. I should have just fucking veered my car. No, you go ahead. And it went, fucking crashed a Subaru. Fucking asshole. Anyway, guys, Guys, enough about that. What else I want to talk about? Also, I played basketball yesterday, first time, and man, I can't remember. It's been a long time. But as you know, I've been training, man. Look, I don't talk about my training that much, but I've been training pretty intensely. And I'm just up in the basketball court yesterday. It's a little cold, a little windy, not ideal conditions for an outdoor basketball court.

But my goal this year in 2026 is to become something of a streetball legend in my white and Asian neighborhood, which I honestly think I could, man. I was up there yesterday shooting around on a windy day, just totally stroking myself. I don't even know why. Just being like, of course, I'm the only person out here shooting on a windy, cold day. Just different. And every car that would drive by in my head, I'm like, this is the hottest housewife possible. I'm going between my legs. I'm shooting the three. I'm airballing. I'm like, fuck. All right. Let me just... Maybe she didn't see that. It was a pretty pathetic display now that I'm I'm saying it out loud, but I'm out there and I'm shooting around. I'm getting warmed up and the Apple Watch on, burning a surprising amount of calories. And I'm like, this is not a bad little workout, man. I'm going to try to get to really know this court, feel these rims Out so that I can become a streetball legend just up there all the time. And I'm playing, shooting around. And these two young whipper snappers, these two kids come up.

I didn't realize they're in high school. They're seniors in high school. Came up, I see them shooting around, and I'm like, Again, nothing against them. They just weren't really that good at all. And I was like, Bingo. So I'm going to play these kids in '21, just fucking demolish them, go as hard as I fucking can because I'm finally, and again, I remember being young and seeing the old man on the basketball court. And even back then, I'd wonder, I had enough weird, I don't know, foresight or curiosity to be like, it's got to be crazy playing basketball as an old guy. And I'm finally, yesterday, absolutely confirmed it. I'm finally the old man at the basketball court. Dude, it felt... It's everything I thought it would be, put it that way. I've always wondered, what's that like? Dude, it can't get better. So I'm sitting there, I'm shooting around. I see the young kids. I let them warm up. I'm not going to be All warmed up 20 minutes in shooting around, running back and forth. Full court, really, going behind my back whenever a Volvo passed me. Just hoping it was a super hot house away for their kids.

God damn. Behind my back, through the legs, pulling up threes, dude. Just fucking raining them. And I see these kids, let them get warmed up. And again, I'm thinking, I'm going, I should ask them to play '21. I do this a lot. This is something I'm getting away from in 2026. But in 2025, I'll want to ask. They're fucking kids. I want to play basketball with them. Takes me 10 minutes to work up the gumption to be like, Hey, you kids want to play some '21? So I'm sitting there, I'm shooting around. It was like my mind hijacked my body. I didn't even know what I was doing. I was like, You guys want to play some '21? I just yelled it across the court. And they just both look at me like, We don't know how to play that. I'm like, oh, here. I gave them the rules. It's pretty much like one on two when you have the ball. And then if you make it, you go to the foul line, shoot from wherever is a two. If you shoot from the three, that's a three. Foul shots are one point. If you make three foul shots in the row, it's your ball, and you get to go again.

Started playing '21. And I don't think... Here's the thing. This is the joy of being the old man at the basketball court. Those kids were playing. I wasn't playing. I was like fighting time Time and death itself. When you're an old man at the basketball court, you're battling time. The kids are like, oh, we're playing each other. It doesn't matter who I'm playing against. I'm raging against my mortality playing these kids on the basketball court. I went so, so I went so fucking hard on these kids. I feel bad about looking back on it. I was like, I shouldn't have done that. I went so fucking hard driving. There was one point, again, this is where my training comes in. You think like, oh, why should I train? I'm 40 years old. I'll tell you why I should train, lift weights and all that shit. There was one point I'm driving in. It's two on one, obviously. It's the nature of the game of 21. I'm going to lay it up. Both of them fail me. And again, I'm not bragging. This is just what happened. Both of them failed me. I lifted both children up on my arm and laid it up, no problem.

And it took everything in me not to look them in the face and go, You fucking liked that, you little fuck. I didn't. I said, Oh, man, don't worry about it. Went to the point. I might have done a I'm not a little in one, but whatever. I was fucking... You would have thought I got shot out of a volcano just soaring through the air with children on my arm. These were fucking high school seniors. Hold on. Maybe in my head, I might be dramatizing a little bit, but it was like, I felt them try to pull me down, and I just fucking ripped through these children and laid it up, made it, and won. And God, I ended up winning. And again, it's not about that. If I lost, whatever. But I did win by a lot. No, actually, that one little kid started coming back. I started getting nervous. But I was wildly and completely out of breath. And after I finally won, I got to 21. I think the second place kid had... He was creeping on me. He had 15. So I had a sizable lead for a while, and I just gassed.

And I eventually got it back to... It was pretty windy, so my jump shot was getting taken by the wind as well as me missing. So I was just pulling up four feet away and hitting little floaters. So So I finally win, and I'm completely out of breath. I'm shattered. Dude, my Apple Watch, I don't know if you track your fucking calories you burn. Dude, I burnt 668 calories in less than an hour, which go test it for yourself. That's a lot. If you do a standard hour, 20 minute lifting thing, you might burn like 350, 400. I burn 668 on these kids. 668 calories of megawatts, whatever Where the fuck they are? Fucking fat molecules exploding in my body to just defeat these children. Again, wasn't even about them. I'm battling fucking time, death, my body failing. I could feel my ankle's like, Fuck. Everything hurts the whole time. And I beat these kids. And I don't know what possessed me to do this, but I went and got my ball, and I was like, thanks for playing, guys. And I was like, oh, man, I'm turning 40 this year, guys. And they just both looked at me like, Oh, whoa, that's cool.

And I was like, Yeah. They're like, Well, man, you played pretty good. And I was like, Thanks, guys. Well, I'll see you up here again. And I don't know why. I just told these children I was 40. It was a It reminds me of the time when me and my cousin sold lemonade at the bottom of our... We had a shared driveway, and a mailman pulled over, bought lemonade off us, and just told us his life story, all this troubles. Now I'm like, Yeah, I get it, man. Something about it, man. You just want to... I don't know. It's a shame you get such a bad rap for hanging out with kids, because honestly, if I... And again, it's like, I'm not like that. I know that funny stuff, but I don't know, man. I wouldn't mind Chilling with kids, if I'm being honest. I feel weird around adults. I do. If I'm at a party with adults, it's like, I don't know. But if like, dude, if you could just drop me at a twelve-year-old's, I don't know, twelve-year-old's birthday party. I would, for real, vibe so hard with 12, 14, 17-year-old kids and just play flag football, do a slip and slide.

If we got to wrestle, I would wrestle them on my knees, to be fair. But I don't know. No pedo on me. It was so fun just fucking balling out with these kids yesterday. And I hope I see them again on the court. I hope I ignited a little fire in their bellies because, dude, if I was a high school senior And some 40-year-old was giving me the motherfucking business. And I'll be honest, I could have been a lot more physical, but I let them taste it every now and again. I would drive and be like, okay, you want to get... How you fucking like that. But I did my best not to just try to physically overpower because it's I'm not a coward shit. I'm not sitting here tooting my own horn. I'm stronger than a couple of kids. But they did try to hold me down from jumping, and I leapt through the air with them holding on to me. And I'll never forget that. That was so nice, dude, just to go home. That was a nice feeling. But guys, let's check out one of these fucking clips. What do you say?

Best of 2025. I didn't know you were drunk. We were on the plane together.

Do you know why scuba divers? You know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards? Yeah. Do you know why they do that?

Look cool?

No, because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat.

Come on, guys. Classic. Highlight reel 2025. Mark that.

Joke World. Clip it. Joke World.

Highlight Reel 2025. Just run that back 25 times. That's what we'll do for the New Year's episode.

Just that joke. Over and over for three hours. You fall asleep to it. But you're going to laugh every time. You're going to try to sleep, you're going to go.

All right, guys, and we're back. Big year, 2025. What else we had? We talked about some of the geopolitical stuff. Also, the comedy world. Bit of a A lot of bed, a lot of turmoil going around the comedy world, a lot of comedian infighting, which I'll say, one thing I'm grateful for in 2025 is to not have gotten caught up in any of that turmoil and just like, this guy, that guy. It's like, man, I feel like a younger me could have because you see that. That stuff gets a lot of attention. Unfortunately, I am in the business of fucking eyeball flickers myself, and it's tempting to be like, you know who I fucking hate? And all that stuff. But a lot of that stuff going on, man. There's like, comedian versus comedian. There's YouTuber versus comedian. There's comedian versus YouTuber. And it's like this endless swirl of just negativity that we can't fucking keep our eyes off. And I've said it before, Kat Williams. Obviously, this is older than him. It predates Cat Williams, and probably Santam Comedy itself. But he blew the lid off the jar when he fucking spilled the tea. That Was that 2024, 2025?

I don't know. I'm going to put that in the 2025 bucket because that couldn't have been more than a year ago. That seems like that was so 2025. That is not so 2024. But I think, man, we might have even started the year. That might have been like the- January, three, four. Dude, we started 2025 because it was the Will Smith slap. That was 2024. The thing that finally stopped that was the Cat Williams tea That set the tone for 2025. And, dude, I don't think we've ever recovered. That got 30 zillion views on the Shannon Sharp podcast, which launched his podcast. And then Shannon Sharp had a bit of a strange year as well. A lot of sexual stuff. And I think it's crazy to get so much pussy that Disney is like, Dude, we got to cut ties. That's way too much pussy, huh? We're fucking here killing it right now. He got so much pussy that Disney was like... He's getting so much pussy that he's hitting his phone. You know when you fake call somebody or you accidentally pocket dial? Yeah, it's just usually you just walking through the grocery store, fumbling your keys in your pocket.

Shannon Sharp is getting so much pussy that when his phone bumps to call somebody or go live, which was suspicious, it's just him digging out a lady. He'll be like, Oh, God, damn. Shannon Sharp got so much pussy in 2025. The Disney dropped him, and I think he's fine. But my whole point was, Kat Williams on the podcast, blew lid off it. And I don't know if it was that or what, but I did start to see that show. I saw people come on that show trying to get their Kat Williams moment, where people were trying to give this sensational take, and this guy, that guy, blah, blah, blah. And no one ever... It was lightning in a bottle. No one ever recaptured the cat fucking crack off on the tea. But then I noticed there was a lot of other little comedian beefs and this and that. And a lot of people, just like, even when I meet people who don't do comedy, they're always asking me, What's this guy like? And who's your favorite? Who don't you like? Blah, blah, blah. And I got to say, man, I do find it unfortunate that there is this fascination with comedians as any sense.

This guy's a piece of shit because they did this. This guy's the best because it's like, dude, comedians for real, they're just like, I don't know. They're fucking mostly, myself included. They're just like theater dorks. They're like a strain of theater dork that It's like, yeah, you didn't go full theater dork and do musicals, but that's in you. That's your thing. And it just like, whatever that is has gotten mutated to where now you do stand up instead of musicals. But it's like you're the same guy as a musical theater dork. You wear a leather jacket and smoke and stay up late, and you're like, I'm a fucking comic. You never understand my life. But you're a theater dork, man. And it's just so funny to have all this attention trying to dissect comedians and be like, This is what they're really thinking. It's like in 2025, I get it, but for 2026, it's like, dude, for real, you have to look at every comedian. This is what it's like when people comment and want to be like, This guy said this, and they're a fucking hypocrite and I'll no longer support. Look, man, I hate to break it to you, but it'd be like if You watch the Special Olympics, and you're like, what the hell?

That guy is not even... It's like, yeah, dude, they're retarded. Just let them swim, all right? Just fucking let them swim. High five them. And if you don't like it, just turn it off. You don't watch the Special Go to Olympics and be like, what the fuck, man? This guy's not even... That's not how you do the backstroke. Yeah, dude. His fuck, he's missing a leg, all right? This guy's not all there. Let him do his thing. If you don't like it, tune it out. But it's like you're barking up a fucking burnt down tree, man. You're not going to get anywhere by tracking them thoughts and opinions of... They flitter and fly around. This is a guy panicking, saying whatever it is that'll just get him through another hour of the week or the show or whatever. So he can sell fucking digital picture frames. Don't look into it that much. That's all I'm saying. It's like watching the fucking Special Olympics or the WMBA or whatever. Let's fire up a clip, guys. Go to it, like, comment, and subscribe. This episode is brought to you by Prizepicks. Trying something new can be intimidating, whether it's building a new routine or making your first team pick.

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Price Picks. It's good to be right. Hey, guys, we're back. All right, so we're back here. Classic. We never get sold. What else? You know what I want to talk about today? I was reading about the Soviet calendar back under Stalin, when they eliminated all the days of the week. They still had the months and stuff. But instead of the days of the week, they did a five-day work week, where Where they took away Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and replaced the days of the week. This was Soviet Union under Stalin. They replaced the days of the week with... Fuck it. Instead of Monday, it would just be like, loaf of bread. Tuesday was Star. Then Wednesday was Hammer and sickle. Thursday was just burlap sack. And then Friday, I swear to God, Friday was like... It was called pointed wool military cap. That was your Friday. And what they did, I swear to God, look it up. And what they did was, it was this five-day work week. And the idea was for the machines to never stop. They were like, Hey, man, if we want to make this dream come true, we can't be all taking off on Saturday and Sunday and having the machine stop.

We got to keep the industrialization or whatever just fucking plugging along. So they purposely gave wives and husbands and brothers and sisters and families different days off. So if your day off, you didn't have a weekend. You just work all the time. It was never-ending shift work. And then let's say on Loaf of Bread Day, you were given off, but your wife was off on Wullen military Cap Day. And for a couple of years, everyone just lived this weird existence where the calendar was purposely stripped from any religious connotation. They didn't want Sunday because Sunday, technically, was about God and resting, and that put something above the state. So they took all that stuff away. For a couple of years, no one got to really even see each other. All the holidays were stripped out. They would give you a day off for the day of fucking the day Lennon was born. I don't know some bullshit, but he might have came later. I don't even know. But my whole point is they had this thing where they tried to genuinely replace a calendar for several years, and it's just everyone is fucking miserable. No one could see anybody.

You would have off, and no one else you really knew would have off. You would just sit there. You just sit by yourself alone on your day And eventually, what happened was the machines from never getting to stop, basically, and cool down, the machines all started to falter and break. And eventually, the machines started getting fucked up. So the Soviet government was like, All right, guys, we're going to let you see your loved ones again. And they allowed people to start seeing each other. And then it was fake as hell. You know what I mean? They're like, We see you. We heard you. But it was just the machines collapsed. That's so sad that they pretty much dehumanized their population just to have the machines never stop producing crap, which is funny because I thought communism was more about chilling, just kicking up, kicking with the homies. No, it was just all about the machines, and the machines collapsed. And then they got to go back to the standard Gregorian calendar. So I don't know. Pretty chill, I guess. But then the whole fucking society collapsed after that, shortly after. And I don't know. Now Russia is just fucking Russia.

I'm fighting. I guess from Russia, I don't think they had a good year at all. A lot of people died. So a million, they say. A million fucking people? Jeez, Louise. That would piss me off if I was Russian, that wasn't even true. Someone just talked a mess, being like, a million guys died in Russia. And I'm like, no, we fucking didn't. Probably, you think it's a million? I'm under the impression that Russia is winning the war. But Look, let's not get bogged down in 2025 conflicts, guys. I just thought that was cool, the idea of just trying to, as a government, upend time itself to be like, we're in charge of how you view time. And it's like, What a fucking crazy thing to do. It's just so crazy to get that into politics. I was recently, we had a nice little game night, me and my wife, some other couples, and someone there found out that I had never voted before, ever, until like, My wife dragged me to do it this year. And they were like, they had a pretty serious... That's fucked up. You've never voted. And it's like, look, if you want to vote, fucking vote.

But this whole idea that you can somehow embed politics into your identity and the core of your being. I don't know, dude. It's fucking weird. Just fucking don't do it. The whole point of the government is to make sure there's food and roads so you go and do the stuff you need to do to get food. Being into that, it's like being fucking stoked on the DMV. That's the government. It's the fucking DMV. It's the capital. And it's just like all the weird human beings who are like, I represent that. And it's like, okay, dude, cool. Go do that. I'm glad you do that. But all these people thinking they can wrap themselves up in a political identity, left and right. It's like, oh, man, I hope that stuff falls by the wayside soon because it is fucking so unbelievably lame to just get into that. I don't know. People ask, you never voted? It's like, yeah, because every single President I've seen, I've been like, this person's a freak. And it's like, I guess I'm a freak, but not like that, man. If I was President, I don't know. I would go classic, like school President style, soda machines everywhere.

That's probably why we're in debt. We're in debt. I don't know. What's the debt? Like, $90 trillion? It just keeps growing and growing. The first thing I would do as President is say, Hey, guys, we've been in debt long enough. Let's cancel the debt. They could do that. I think they could do that, and they don't. So it's like, I'm not voting for anyone until they say, Hey, guys, you know that $90 trillion were in debt? Let's just say, Fuck it. I'm the government. The debt is to the continent. It's probably to other countries. Whatever. Just call the other countries and be like, Dude, are you really going to fucking hold me to the fire on this, man? 90 trille. Can we just forget about this? Can we just all chill, please? It's fucking so lame. 40 trillion? Yeah, $40 trillion. The interest on that every year is got to be... There's no way. Once you're in a loan set up for $40 trillion, what is that? I'm guessing these people who own this debt are getting at least At least 3 %. So let's see if we ever can get out of this, because I honestly don't think we can.

So here we go. So we have... I don't even know if my calcul... I got to hold it sideways. These are big dog numbers here. Hold on. We're entering big dog numbers. 40, one, two, three. Okay, 40,000, one, two, three. 40 million, one, two, three. 40, Billy. One, two, three. Okay, I'm at $40 trillion. Let's go times 0. 03. Let's say We're doing 3% interest. Let's see. 3% interest equals... Okay. The interest we're accruing on $40 trillion of debt is $1. 2 trillion a year. We're never getting out of this. This is embarrassing, dude. $1. 2 trillion. And you're going to have a guy every four years be like, I'll tell you what, I'm an old fashioned guy, and I get it. Shut the fuck up. Every year, the debt grows. If we just pay our payments, we pay the minimum, which we probably do, $1. 2 million more dollars, 1. 2 trillion more dollars. So next time someone's going to be like, well, you should vote. It's like, dude, get the debt down. Then I'll fucking think about it, right? Otherwise, what am I vote? It's a fucking bullshit puppet show unless we can get out of...

I'm embarrassed Every time I travel to another country, it's all I can think about. I just go, fuck, we're really in the hole for 40 trill? That's 3 %. 1. 2 would be 3 % of 40 trill. Dude, How much? Choose. And how? How does it... Fuck. I've said this forever. If you're in charge of running any enterprise, And if you fell into, let's just say you're in a company and you fell into $1 billion of debt, you would think people would start looking around and go, well, hold on a second here. We are $1 billion in debt, and No one's going to stop at... We were $40 trillion in debt. Once we hit a trillion, you're telling me nobody in this highly capable, million person machine turned and went, We got to figure out how to get... And if they didn't, it tells me the debt is just a contrived thing that's totally meaningless anyway. Because you always hear that. You're like, well, your grandkids are going to be 350 million people with $40 trillion. Our great grandkids are going to owe $20 bazillion. And it's like, what the fuck? No, they're not. They're never going to...

It makes absolutely zero sense to say that's going to stop us in any way, shape, or form unless it's like, does our tax money go to paying the debt? I have no fucking clue. All I'm saying is when AI takes your job, right? Forget about the debt. At that point, you should say, all right, AI taking your job. You know what I was thinking about today? And I don't know if this is a good thing or not. It's sad. It's scary. It's like, what am I going to do with myself? But then maybe I'm bright-siding, obviously. The cotton gin freed the slaves. It wasn't like the bleeding hearts of people. It was that we came up with a machine that we're like, okay, we don't need all these slaves. Ai could be the cotton gin of fat, frumpy office workers. That's all I'm saying. How nice would that be? How nice would that be? I don't know. Whatever. Anyway, guys. Yeah, I think that's... Yeah, let's do the final clip. And guys, this is a good one. Check this out. I didn't know you were that drunk. We were on the plane together.

Do you know why scuba divers, you know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards? Yeah. Do you know why they do that?

Look cool?

No, because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat.

Come on, guys. Classic. Highlight reel 2025. Mark that.

Joke world. Clip it. Joke world.

Highlight Reel 2025. Just run that back 25 times. That's what we'll do for the New Year's episode.

I'm not going to do it. Just that joke. Over and over for three hours. You fall asleep to it. But you're going to laugh every time. You're going to try to sleep, and you go...

Guys, 2025 was amazing. We recapped it. We had a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun. Everyone had a lot of fun. And we also cried. 2025, we cried. We grew. In 2026, my goal is to really become I'm more social. I want to get out there. Here's the thing. Being more social, it's not about just going to parties and getting fucked up. It's about genuinely getting to know other people and embedding yourself into their lives in a real way, which I plan to do. My problem with that is I'm just really only interested in my own life. So that's an obstacle I'm trying to overcome just because when I talk to people, I don't even think I hear them. They talk to me, and I'm just going like, Dude, fuck. I got to drop 10 pounds and get shredded. I don't hear anything anyone says to me ever. Every time someone talks to me, I can do like 30 seconds of another person talking to me before I'm like, Dude, if I get my bench to fucking 280 and I get my squat to fucking 350, I'll be at the thousand pound club pretty soon.

Guys, let's end this on a nice note. Enough about that. It's the new year. It's one of those things where we start thinking about time. A year has passed, and we start going, what's going to happen in the next year? St Augustine, or St Augustine, however you say his name, he has a famous quote on time. He wrote a whole essay on it. I'm going to read you guys a little selection. We're going to close this out big with a quote from St. Augustine on time. Here's the quote, What then is time? If no one asks me, I know. If I wish to explain it to one that asketh, I know not. Yet confidently, I say, I know that if nothing passed away, there would be no past time, and if nothing were coming, there would be no future time, and if nothing were, there would be no present time. Those two times then, past and future, how are they when the past is no more and the future is not yet? Ask for the present. If it were always present and never passed into past time, it would not be time but eternity. If then the present is time only because it passes into the past, how can we say that it is, since the reason why it is will not be.

In other words, can we truly say that time is only because it tends toward non-being? And yet we speak of a long time and a short time, and we say this only of the past or future. We call 100 years ago, for example, a long time in the past, and 100 years hence, a long time in the future. But a short time in the past, we might call, say, 10 days ago, and 10 days ago, hence, a time in the future. But in what sense is something long or short that does not exist? He's saying the future and past does not exist. For the past is not now, and the future is not yet. We should not say of the past, It is long, but it was long, and of the future, it will be long. Let's jump down here. Okay. Behold the present time, which alone we found could be called long, is narrowed to the space of scarcely one day. But let us discuss even this, for not even one day is entirely present. All the hours of night and day, 24, make it up. The first of them has the rest future.

The last has the rest past. And one in the middle has past hours before it, future after it. And that one hour passes in fleeting moments. Whatever of it has flown away as past, what remains as future. If any portion of time be which cannot now be divided into even the minutest particles of moments. This alone is what we call the present, which yet flies so swiftly from future into past that it cannot be extended by any delay. For if it is extended, it is divided in a past and future. The present has no space. Where then is the time which we call long? Is it future? We do not say it is long, for it is not yet. So as to be long, we say it will be long. When then will it be? For even then, when it is still future, it will not be long because what may be long is not yet. But it will be long when from the future, which is not yet, it shall have begun to be and shall have become present, so that then it can be something long. But instead, as we said before, the present cries that it cannot be long.

What then do I measure? Where is the short syllabus by which I measure? Where the long which I measure? Both have sounded, flown, passed away, or no more, and yet I measure and confidently answer in as much as the rule of measurement, as there is a rule of measurement, that as to the space of time, the syllabus is single, that double, and I could not do this unless they had passed and ended. I measure not themselves, therefore, which are no more, but something in my memory which remains fixed. In thee, oh my mind, I measured times. Do not overwhelm me with noise. Do not overwhelm myself with a multitude of thy impressions. In thee, I say, measure times, the impression which passing things make on thee, and which abides when they have passed, that I measure as time present. That is what I measure, or perhaps I do not measure times, but the impressions. Behold how my life is at extension, and thine right-hand hath upholded me in my lord, the son of man, mediator between thee, the one, and us, the many, who are in many ways distracted, that through him I may apprehend in whom I have apprehended, and may be gathered together again from my old days, following the one, forgetting the things that are behind, not distended but extended, but to things which shall be and shall pass away, but to those things which are before, not distended but extended, I press toward the prize of the high calling.

Wow. What a quote. Did you get that? Makes perfect sense. Guys, have a great New Year. Let's get it one more time. Fire back up. I didn't know you were drunk. We were on the plane together.

Do you know why scuba divers, you know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards? Yeah. Do you know why they do that?

Look cool.

No, because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat. The Wild, Wild, Wild, Wild, Wild Come on, guys.

Classic. Highlight Reel 2025. Mark that.

Joke World. Clip it. Joke World.

Highlight Reel 2025. Just run that back 25 times. That's what we'll do for the New Year's episode.

Just that joke. Over and over for three hours. You fall asleep to it, but you're going to laugh every time. You're going to try to sleep, and you go...

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