Transcript of Ep 579 - Crumb & The Hutt (feat. Joe Derosa & Lemaire Lee)

The Wild Wild West.

I can still swap it out.

If that.

Yeah.

It's probably less than that. Yeah, it's less than 300 bucks.

What do you say? Zesty ass? All right, let's get started.

You can get a decent 85 for like, seven, 800 bucks.

Yeah.

I mean, you can go all the way up to three grand or whatever.

You're talking extra on top of the 70 something?

No, no, no. The 75 was only six.

You get a 4K? You guys are on a star podcast? I'm ready, dude. You were doing it? That was what you want to do?

I'm just sitting waiting for you to say, let's go.

You're going to talk prices? Stuck TV prices. Yeah, dude. Fire it up.

You got to be in my ass all day.

Matt's gone. So I was just really scraping the fucking... No, I'm just joking. Look, man, your anxiety. I know where you're at. Where are we at? Once you get clean and sober like me, you're You're a fucking animal, dude. I'm sorry.

You don't drink for two days. You think you're fucking living right.

Who doesn't? After three days, I go, I'm fucking fine.

I go for one day, I have one healthy shit. I'm like, I'm fine.

Yeah, what the fuck? What the fuck was I worried about the last 30 years?

I've been doing this stuff called Dose.

Yeah.

You know what I'm talking about?

It's supposed to help.

We'll see. Dude, it does. Your energy, it jacks your energy up.

What does it do?

I don't know. I have it.

Whatever. You got to do it every day. It's a liver cleanse.

It's for guys who don't really want to stop drinking. It's a supplement on Instagram where they go, You've talked about being a boozebag a lot. We've picked that up. Here's your liver health and your algorithm.

I don't want to stop drinking. It's too fun.

Hey, I'll tell you what, I got my hands on a little Revolutionary War doc. How do you think we came up with the name United of America. No one even thinks about it, do they?

I just assumed it was a bunch of states that would be united.

Yeah, but you still got to come up with a name when you go, We're declaring Independence. What the fuck do we call ourselves?

I feel like it was early on, and you called things what they were back then. You weren't going to come up with a fancy name. You were going to just say, This is what it is. It's a Fuck you to the King, the United States of America.

I like that you're trying to sell that you're wrong, but I like it.

I mean, I have no idea because I don't nerd out these docs.

Okay, Star Wars to Freddie Krieger. But no, I never even took the time to think about it.

But it's not that simple. It's not just like this.

You can't just be like, We all agree, this is what we're calling it, because everybody has to come together and be like, What do we-What is in America anyway? That's a good point, Lamar. What's in Europe?

Shit, dude.

What's in Africa? Dude, you're asking the hard-hitting questions. I always thought it was named after Amerigo Vespucci. That's what they-It was one of the... Which I think that's been the bone-proven false.

Yeah, the Columbus Indians thing is probably false, too. Probably. That he called them Indians because he thought it was in India. Yeah, I think he knew where he was. There was a term they were called that said people of God, and it was in... I forget what it is.

I thought he called them-I thought it was in Spanish. Well, anyway. It turns out, just some fucking guy wrote into a local paper, the Pennsylvania Post, and said, We should be the United States of America. It was like an editorial. He didn't write his real name. His pseudonym was Republicus. Fucking badass. Republicus.

That's great.

It's like a transformer.

Fired me off last night. Also, is there a bigger juice on the planet? That's the juice. Writing into the paper and going, We should call this country United States of America. Also, my name's Republicus. And the whole country was like, Yo, United States of America is sick, dude. I bet a USA chant started... Almost. The first guy was like, USA. Usa.

Republicus.

You know how in the music docs, they're like, Hmm. Yeah. Fucking war pigs. They did that with the USA chant.

But wait a minute. But I agree with Lamair. What does America come from if it's not the Americo-Vespucci guy?

I'm not sure. I think it might be Americo-Vespucci.

What if it was Vespucci's Voltaire? What? I said, What if a Republicans was Vespucci's Voltaire? What does that mean? Voltaire? I know who Voltaire is. Yeah, he had a fake name, and then he got in trouble. People say, If you have a fake name, you have a Voltaire.

Oh, okay. I didn't know that.

Sorry.

That's all right.

I didn't mean to be smart. But what did you mean by what you said?

What if a Republicans is Vespucci?

No, it was like 300 years later.

Okay.

All right. Yeah, well, shit, man. You live and you learn.

No, I think they said it was Thomas Payne. I think they said that might have been Republicus. They don't know who Republicus was. Chatgpt still says it's from America, Vespucci.

All right.

There we go. But it's the feminine Latin form of America. Americas, which I like Américus more. Yeah, I like Américus.

Américus is good. Yeah, US on the end of a word or a name or O-R.

Yeah, you like some Latin. Yeah.

Us. Republic us. Republic war. They sound like transformer names. Or He-Man names. I saw this little fucking shadow pig.

He's a little rat, dude.

Yeah, dude. He's a shadow pig.

You can't tell he's a pig because he's always like, Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sits in the corner. Oh, shit. He's blacked out. There's not like a real... It's like when a British person is retarded. This guy's smart. Like with Guard Dog, he always sounds like he's blacked out. Yeah.

Just smoking heaters in the corner, dude. Back to back American spirit yellow. That's what he'd be doing sober.

You can't tell. I was sober as a bird last night. Yeah. See? I had to go That was a sober man.

Yeah, I could see. You were sober?

How late were you at?

I saw you at 10: 30. I was just getting to the Kill Tony after hang. It was like 10: 15, 10: 30, and he was walking out with his girl. I was like, Where are you guys going? And his girl went, We're going to go home. I could see the shadow pig's eyes like he wanted to stay, dude.

Yeah, you hit him with one of these. No, that's not true. I wanted to go home.

He's like, Yeah, I'm happy to be going home, man. It's good.

Somebody take a break. I was happy to go home. You missed out.

We got fucked up.

Yeah, you guys had a good time?

Yeah, we had a nice time.

I had a good time. I was watching an American Revolutionary War doc. The shit was tight. I don't think you understand.

Well, tell me about it, man. This is one of my favorite things about you, and I truly do mean it. I am enamored by the fact that you truly love history. I wish I was something that was of use like that. I only love nerdy shit.

It's not really of use for me to be like, Republicus.

No, but it's history. I swear to God, dude, I'm not kidding. I'll get into the He-Man mythology, the way you'll get into Civil War. It's It's the shit that excites me.

He-man has some deep mythos, brother.

Yeah, He-Man is dope as shit.

History is... Whatever.

Yeah, I wish I liked history. I know.

It tells you where we're at. But you know what I was thinking about? You know how they think tar and feathering is funny? Wait, what? It's a silly thing. They're like, Oh, we tared and feathered him, huh? That was a brutal-No, it's horrible. Horrific.

Yeah.

It's scalding hot tar. It killed people. It's one of the worst deaths.

It burned your skin off, and the feathers were fusing to your skin.

It's fucking horrific.

It became a chicken.

Thank you, LeMaire. There's a... Thank you, LeMar. There's a... I was about to walk that back. I was about to be so racist. I was about to be as racist as possible. That was crazy. But no, you ever see John Adams? Yeah, back in the It was a great mini-series, but they'd tar and feather a guy in that, and it always stuck with me. I watched the first two episodes last night, and they're two hours long. I don't know if I'm allowed to say it, but I got my hands on the Ken Burns Revolutionary War. It's not out yet. Oh, nice. And my manager sent it to me at 10: 00. I was like, I'm watching this right now. Nice.

How is it?

I watched it for four hours. It's fucking great.

So that's the doc you've been watching?

Yeah. I feel like I'm not allowed to say it.

You're not even allowed to say you've been watching it. You're spilling the beans of stuff that's in it, dude.

You're talking about Republicans. It's historical fact.

Nobody knew about Republicans. I know.

Republicans is nice. Nobody heard that until today. No one's going to watch. There's a lot of people that watch this that don't get down with Kim Burns. They should.

Yeah, Kim Burns is- Kim Burns, Vietnam, was fucking nice. We were talking about this. I don't remember if it was you and me or not, but what was the doc? Was Ken Burns' Sergeant Pepper? What's the doc that broke him? I think it's the jazz one because I remember my friend Scott had the box set, the soundtrack of that. I just remember that Ken Burns' jazz documentary was everywhere. I was like, that's the one I feel made him.

I think, for me, it was the Civil War one. Ken Burns' Civil War, Ken Burns' Baseball was fucking nice. Yeah, I heard baseball was a big one. And then his brother puts out docs, too. One of them did Brooklyn Bridge, which is nice.

What are they, the Boring Brothers?

Probably, yeah. Probably the most boring fucking guys? Just both of them sitting there in sweaters.

Just looking at books.

Looking at fucking books, dude.

Come on, man. Pick up some video games.

Play the Viges and Jack Hall.

Yeah, dude. You got to make Ken Burns, The Revolutionary War, The Video Game, I'd be all in on that.

That would be nice.

What's his brother's name?

I forget.

And you also love Louis Thoreau? Louis Thoreau is great, yeah. Yeah, I like him. He's a little more of a provocative documentary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my favorite one he did was the Courtney Love one.

Did you ever see his Miami when he goes into super prisons? No. It's funny as it gets. He's just in there with black dudes. They're like, We have to beat your ass. And he's like, No, why? What if I don't want to fight? You're going to have to fight. We're going to fuck you up. He's like, But you don't have to do that. Pretty great.

One of the best docs I've ever seen?

Is Is there a new one about the right wing?

No, his new ones about-Israel Palestine.

Yeah. Yeah, I haven't watched it. I heard it was pretty fucking good.

He goes deep, man. The first Scientology, what I ever saw, the guys threatening him and shit. It was crazy, dude. I saw him.

Does he interview a settler in that? Yeah. She's just fully like, Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Not great. They were saying the whole time they were like, They can leave or... That's what the settlers were saying.

Did you see Netanyahu, where he compares himself to Hitler?

He compared himself to Hitler.

No.

Dude, I'm swear I watched it three times. I was like, he can't be saying that. But he's like, they say, step back, step down. He's like, You don't just stand aside and say, Here you go. You have to land. Adolf Hitler didn't do that. I was like, No, he couldn't. I can't rewind it. I looked at the caption, and it was like, that guy who compares himself to Adolf Hitler. I was like, Holy shit.

I think he just did that. Are you sure it was not AI? Because I've been tricked. They're getting real good at just showing a speech and changing two words.

Gardini, can you look that up?

Maybe he meant... What he was trying to say was people didn't placate Hitler when he was taking all the land.

It doesn't sound like he said that because it's as they're doing the ground strike now.

He's doing a lot of stuff there, though.

He's doing a lot of stuff.

He's doing a lot of stuff.

Can I say this is another Kanye was right moment?

Yeah. Did you ever see the Gavin McGinnis interview with Kanye? No. Where he goes, and Kanye's in the full black ski mask hood thing, where you can't see his face. And Gavin goes, Now look, he's like, There are statistics about black people, about the crime and stuff like that. He goes, But when you meet a black person, you don't take those statistics into it. You start with a clean slate, and you judge them as a person. Do you do that with Jews? And Kanye goes, No. And Gavin starts laughing. He goes, This intervention is not going well.

I think it was going right where Gavin wanted it, too. Yeah, they think so. Gavin loves that shit.

Exactly.

Well, there we go. What else is going on? We're just remembering stuff we saw. I like that.

I have a good duck to recommend. It's only 30 minutes long. It's called The Quilters. No, listen to me. Trust me.

That doesn't sound great.

Trust me. It's on HBO. It's like 30 minutes long. It's about a maximum Security Prison. And there are these level five convicts, which means level five is murder. It's all the worst crimes. And there's a quilt shop in there, and they make quilts for needy children, and they're super into it. And these guys got like, murder, double murder, whatever. They're in the quilt shop, and they're like, Here's all our fabrics. They run it like a quilt, and they get so into it. And the kids send them... Dude, the quilts are amazing.

Kids send them what?

They send them pictures of me, and it's like, Thank you so much. I don't know if I love that. It's my favorite. And they cry. Well, that's nice. It's beautiful, dude. It's beautiful. These guys are like, This is the only way I can give back to society for what I did. It's crazy. I cried during it. Yeah, it's very nice. It's really nice.

Yeah, maybe I'll give that a shot. You It's great. I got to tell you, I've been watching this Mussolini show.

A doc or a scripted?

It's a scripted show.

Who plays the moosh?

I don't know. It's some Italian guy. It was made in Italy. But of course, Europe is also 10 years behind us when it comes to on the nose shit, culturally. The last episode, he's like, I'm I'm going to make Italy great again. And you're like, Oh, so Trump's a fascist. Okay. You just butt fucked the whole show.

Turn off.

I'm out.

Is it only one season? Is this season two?

I'm not sure. I think it comes out weekly.

Okay.

And I was excited. I mean, they make him a bumbling idiot, which I doubt he was based on what he got done. They do that a lot with history.

No, no. Mussolini, apparently, was a putz. Okay. I mean, that's like the-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you ever see him give a speech? That's good. Swag. Yeah. Swag out the wazoo. People give Hitler a lot of credit for speeches. Check out the moose, dude. The pauses, the fucking arm crosses.

Is Mussolini the guy who plucked a chicken during a meeting?

I never heard that one.

Really? I can't remember who, but it was a story about somebody being really evil.

I think you just got a chicken on the brain.

No. That's the second chicken talk.

I think you got chicken on the brain. Not interracial. What is it? It is Mussolini plucking a chicken? Yeah. Nice, Lamar. It's like a metaphor, so it's a political cartoon. Nice.

Did you find anything for the movie?

I can't find it. It's hard to.

I bet I got AI-ed. God, damn, dude.

But they could also be. There's things he said a long time ago. It also might have been old. There was one from 2015 where he says what you said in a different way.

Maybe that's what it was.

I would imagine as a politician, go out of your way to avoid saying, I'm a lot like Adolf Hitler.

You think? Yeah. You think?

That used to be a bad thing.

Yeah, it used to be rough. No, that thing about make Italy great again, that stupid fucking Winkie thing, that ruined Skull Island for me. Kong Skull Island.

What happened there?

It takes place in the '60s, and the first line taxi pulls up in front of, I don't know, some state building or something. And John Goodman goes, there's two dudes in the back of the car, and John Goodman goes, My boy, we are entering the strangest decade of politics this country will ever see. And it was right when Trump got in, and I was like, Fuck off. I hate shit like that. I hate winged-to-cameras.

Letting your politics come into the King Kong movie I'm trying to watch?

Dude, American King Kong, they ruined Godzilla for me because they had the running Godzilla. Godzilla sucked.

Oh my God, dude.

Zero was fucking sick. Yeah. The Japanese one?

Wait, that's for modesteers. That was sick. Yeah, that's classic Godzilla.

I'm talking King Kong, Godzilla, Forbidden Kingdom or whatever.

If you went into that thinking that was going to be good, the bag's on you. You're an adult man.

King Kong had a Mecca arm. Godzilla was running. The whole world's in flames. It's crazy.

Yeah, once they got into that, too, that was-That was the last straw for you.

That was literally the last straw. I'm That's how it doesn't run, dude.

When they did the World Between Worlds thing where King Kong lives in that weird other... I was like, This is idiotic. I met the kid a couple of times that directed every single one of those movies. He must be stacking coin right now, man. I mean, Jesus Christ. They make $400 million at least.

Chinese people must go nuts when they see those movies. They find huge hits in China. Matt's gone. I'll be reading on behalf of Matt.

Okay.

Matt. Okay, okay. A quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less, Football Edition. And it's brought to you by Prize Picks.

Right.

So Shane and I are going to be presented with three player picks and decide together whether we should go more or less each pick. Shane, so who's looking sharp? And who's just like a pedestrian on in the field? Matt, this is what we're thinking, prize picks this week. Let's choose more or less each of the following picks. Aj Brown, more or less than 55 receiving yards. I'm going more. More. He's not getting a lot of touches. He's starting to complain. They're going to force the ball to him more than 55 yards receiving.

I'll go less since you guys want more. Just to mix it up.

Kim Skatebu, more or less than 0. 5 rushing TDs. Do you think he's going to score or not?

I love the name. I'm going to say more.

I like it, too. He's got a bit of a Star Wars name there. Josh Allen, more or less. 228 passing ads. You got to go more. The guy's a gunslinger.

Okay. Shane, I'm going to say I'd go less. Last week, I picked him and he went under.

How about that? Wow. All right. So that's our take. Now it's time to lock them with yours. Price pick. Don't just stand your fave, stand on business, win real money with your best takes. Whether it's touch-out passes, receptions, take your more or less pick on their stat projections to cash in this season. Here, you read from Matt there. Second paragraph up. Yeah, it's small. It's not that easy.

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It bags on me. It was a great read, though, man. Prizepicks. It's good to be right. Man, I'll tell you what I'm mad about. Bad Bunny's doing the fucking halftime show. That's good. Pissen me the fuck. Bad Bunny's good. No, of course. Who gives a fuck? It was very funny to me that people were upset about that. Everyone's one of the right gets it so wrong with what they're outraged. Everybody's outraged about everything, obviously. But when it's like, Dude, don't lose on this one.

Why are they mad about Bad Bunny? It's a halftime show.

Who gives a fuck? I think it's because he doesn't speak any... Speak English from China watch football. And my point was, last year's halftime show was barely intelligible. Maybe that was for China. Bing, bop, boom, bing, bang.

You hate Kendrick.

No, I don't hate Kendrick.

Stop hatin.

We don't have to talk Andrew.

Didn't she care to do the halftime show? What? I thought, didn't she care to do the halftime show before? Yeah. What are you mad about?

I don't know.

Janet Jackson whipped her tits out on it.

Yeah, that shit rocked.

Yeah, it was great.

Man, that was a pivotal moment in American history, for TV and stuff.

That was considered... Now, it'd be nothing. Yeah.

Because once, she had a sticky over her nipple. She did.

I think it was pierced, and she had this big thing Almost like a vote for me pin, covering her whole nipple. You know what I mean?

It wasn't pasty.

It wasn't that crazy.

It wasn't that crazy. Also, why'd they pretend it was like... When they were like, it was a wardrobe malfunction.

I remember when they tried to lie.

It was like a pose. He ripped it off and they both went...

Yeah, it's wild the way they would just lie about shit. Let's see if they buy it. The wardrobe malfunction.

Yeah, they bought it. Yeah, they're going to buy it.

She was in trouble for a long time ago. I remember that.

Was that the first live TV titty drop?

I feel like... But that was a... What's that called? A thing on the nipple?

The pasty.

A pasty. I remember. Sable used to break those out.

Sable would break out the pasties all the time, dude.

Yeah, the pasties. Yeah, WWF had some nips.

Yeah, they had nips. The Cat, Terry Runnels, don't get me started. Jacquelyn, don't get me started.

I'm going to get you started. I'm going to jack off in there.

Trustrata's never had pasties.

I think that was the first ever, I think, right?

Yeah, live TV, Chibi Drop, that had to be the first one.

That was a pretty big one. I remember me and my friends went nuts. In my basement, everyone just went, Oh. It was He was standing on the couch. We were fired up.

That's when Timberlake was the man. He was still awesome, but he was like, untutual.

Do you remind me of Timberlake.

Why is that?

Just like a smooth operator, slick.

You're about to say something mean? No, that's it. Yeah? Genuine compliment.

Yeah, you remind me of Justin Timberlake. You're both smooth operators and you're slick. I feel like you could beatbox.

I can't beatbox. Oh, you thought about it. But I was an all right rapper.

You're a good rapper.

It was a I'm a decent rapper at one point. I've been doing it a long time. Sometimes I still write little rimes in my head. I'm like, I wish I was a rapper.

Give me some bars.

I can't remember anything right now. No, and I honestly am trying to remember. Or something. Okay, please. That's not if you have.

Because that would be big for me. I think everyone would be very happy to hear you spit some bars.

You had a band.

I know. It still does.

You still have a band?

Yeah, I still have a band. Yeah, it's also Windfall. Our new record comes out in a couple of months. Oh, sick. Yeah, it's done. Then we're going to run and do shows and stuff. That's fun, man. I love doing that. But yeah, the rapping, not so much anymore.

It's a young man's game.

It's a young man's game.

It's a black man's game.

It's a different level of commitment. Rapping is like being a comic. It's like you have to be a rapper. You know what I mean? It's an everyday thing. Not to say that being in a band isn't, but it's a little more lax for whatever reason. But there's something about rapping because it's a solo. It's a solo act. That's why I said it's like being a comic. It's like constantly... Yeah, it's a solo. What do you got in the battle? You know what I mean?

Have you ever rap battled?

Yeah, I used to do it all the time.

That must have been so gay. Where's that? Where can I get that footage? Holy shit.

We used to freestyle. We used to do freestyle battles when I was in college at parties and shit.

People Don't you have any regrets?

No.

I would regret that so much. Why? I was pretty good at it.

I was pretty good at it. People liked it. The party we got, I got chips from doing it and stuff.

They saw that Timberlake.

They saw that Timberlake. You're a smooth up right. You want this Timberlake. Timberlake, the Moose.

The Moose. You got to see the moose. That's my rap name, Timberlake, the Moose.

That's a good rap name.

That's actually a great nickname.

Timberlake, the Moose.

Should Are we talk about our new nicknames?

I mean, you can try.

There it is.

Tried to bait me with my... Because Joe... All right, first off, you're calling me the Hut.

Yeah, but explain why. But dude. The what? But dude.

He's literally laid up like Hut.

I don't...

Hold on, dude.

That's a Hut.

I don't do his bidding. I don't do your bidding.

I said Joe looked exactly like Salacious Crumb from Star Wars. And if you look at Salacious Crumb, especially Salacious Crumb with his legs crossed sitting. And that last. Joe's It's just crumb.

And I said, Yeah. I said, Shane's job of the hut.

And then he went low and called me job of the hut. I'm not going low.

It's not a body joke. I'm just saying you're the hut, dude. We're hanging. Look at Crumb in the Hut. Tell me it's not me and Shane hanging out at a bar. I'll happily sit at this man's legs and drink.

That's the crum, dude. Just is DeRosa.

It's like, Dude, you know what?

Salacious Crumb. Underworld creature.

Salacious Crumb.

I didn't know he had a name either. I was just like, Dude, you look like fucking Java's friend. And he was like, he knows Star Wars. He was like, Oh, Salacious Crumb.

As soon as you said it, I was- Bro.

You got to get that. That's us kicking it, dude. That's nice. All right, I'll give you that. I'll give you that. That's a good one.

Dude, you love just sitting up there-I'll take Hut. Playing with everybody's emotions in the room.

You got to take hot. Tony is obviously C3PO. It's not even close.

Tony might be laying, dude.

Beezer's Bib Fortuna.

Tony might be laying the bikini, dude.

Beezer is Bib Fortuna.

A hundred % Beezer's Bib Fortuna. 100,000%.

Who's a boba?

Which one's that?

He's the one who gave Anakein his star-It's got to be all Jabbas Palace, though. Okay, okay, okay.

From there out, everybody else is too cool.

Yeah, it's tough. You can't give someone a cool one.

Yeah, nobody gets to be like Boba Fett.

Yeah, that's true.

It's too cool.

Yeah, who's the Rancor?

Is that in Jabbas Hut? You know Lamaris?

The Warhawk? The Warhawk Guard?

No, no. Lamaris is-The Pig Guard. No, Lamaris is the blue dude that plays the keyboards.

That's a cool one, though.

No, it's not. Blue guys. Blue guys.

Look up the blue. I think.

That's a. Yeah, it's fucking Lamair. That's cool. But look at the... Can you do me a kindness and look up the... The pig guard? The pig guard at Chabba's Palace? It's got a bit of a meze in there, but that guard's a little pushy. I don't think Lamair is very pushy.

No, that's what I'm saying. He's the keyboard player.

Keyboard player is very close, but the pig guard. Let me take a look at that guard.

Cantina band plays good music.

That does have mees you written all over it.

Who is it? Lamair. I I like the keyboard. I'll tell you, I think the pig guard is. I think that's O'Connor. The O'Connor? The O'Connor would love to shove a dude against the wall.

You know who Tommy is? I know it's on tattooing, though. It's a... Fucking what's his name? The guy who's like, I don't like you. That's Tommy. They just get his arm cut off right away. That's O'Connor and Pope. That's O'Connor and Pope. That's O'Connor and Pope. That's two dudes. It's two drunk assholes. They're like, Fuck you, dude.

Did he say, I don't like you? My friend doesn't like you either.

I got the death toll on 38 systems. Yeah, or the death toll.

That's a tough one.

Yeah.

That's what you're laying, though.

Is it Jawa?

Could it be a Jawa? Nate might be a fucking Jawa.

No, he's an Ewok, bro.

No, it's got to be tatooing. We got to keep it near Jawa's.

He's a fucking Jawa.

Jawa's pilot. Jawa. All right, Tony.

What are you looking at Jawa's? Nate looks like an Ewok a little.

All right, fuck it.

That's me. My bad.

No, Nate's Warwick, the Ewok. Or Wicked, I mean. Wicked, the Ewok. Yeah, fuck it, dude. We'll fly you to Java's Palace. All right, Tony's 3PO.

Definitely.

Who's Leia, then?

Can't give him a hot babe.

No.

Unless you give it to a dude.

No, dude. Lay is fucking... Leia is Kyla. Kyla is a bad mouth chick. A chick with a bad attitude.

I hear you. You excited for Red October?

What's your end of October? Is it a video game?

No. Fills, dude. Fighting Fills.

Fighting Fills.

Well, fill me in. I don't watch sports.

We got to buy, which could be a problem. The playoff start.

Oh, they're going to playoff? Yeah. I'll go to those games. Yeah.

I'm going to go Monday.

Jesus, it's October. I'm thinking this is months away.

No, it's September. You almost have it. It is October next week.

No, it's October tomorrow.

Yeah, I guess tomorrow. Yeah. Jesus Christ. This is a crazy podcast. This is a regular conversation. Yeah.

Do you want to get onto a specific topic?

No, I don't give a fuck at all. I feel like this is good. I like the Star Wars.

I love Star I've been watching Everybody Loves Raymond. That show was good, dude.

Dude, I started watching it recently, too. Air tight. It's great. Every episode, I'm like, That was a beat.

How cool is Ray Romano?

He's awesome.

He's like the coolest. Whenever he comes to the cellar, it's like, God damn. It's just a fucking cool... He's sitting there, he's watching sports. He's like, Who you got on this? You got the over, the under? I'm like...

That's awesome. That's awesome.

I don't know.

I don't know if I'm-Tonger the dude, the guy He got better-looking in his 60s.

I never thought of that.

Yeah, he's like-I didn't sexualize him when I saw him. I sexualize everybody. That's why you're JT, dude.

That's why you got that Timberlake.

I got him the moose.

Do me like the moose, dude. You're salacious crumb.

That's the crumb last. The fucking vial horrendous crumb, dude.

The vial horrendous salacious crumb. Yeah, but nobody has the juice like United States America.

No.

Salacious crumb, obviously, that's good juice.

Right.

Vial horrendous, great juice. No one's just like, I'm going to write this down and send it to the paper and name the country.

I mean, it is fucking wild. I want to find out. I'd like to find out who this Republicans guy is.

I think it is Thomas Paine. It's just pure speculation because it was just a humble man, dude. That's why he's Republicans. He's going, I don't need any glory for this. This is for the fucking Republic.

Yeah, But wait, how did he get in the paper?

Because Thomas Paine.

What other things from the doc can you reveal?

It's just standard. It's nothing too It gets into Benedict Arnold, which is exciting because he was the man until he wasn't. But he was like a little climber, though. He was good at his job, but he was a climber. So any time he got passed over, he would start bitching, andYeah.

Okay.

But it was stuff I knew already. He was the hero at Ticonderoga.

Okay.

So people don't know-The Pencil? Yes. He was like a war hero. He was like a big deal before he switched sides.

What was his official turncoat moment?

I'm not sure. I think he sold or gave British intel on how to get past West Point, the Fort. I think he gave the Fort up. I could be wrong. I haven't got that far, but I remember I read the book Lafayette, who was the man, too. He was like, that was the only time he ever saw George Washington break down because Washington didn't like this guy. And when he got to West Point, and they were like, Arnold's gone. He started sobbing. He was like, no. My boy. Something like that. That's the story I took from it.

Did you ever eat at that restaurant in New York, where Washington took his men before the Battle of Valley Forge?

No.

It's in Fida. You know that area, Fida, where it's like the cobblestone street, and there's all the bars? It's right down there. That's awesome. It's a steakhouse. Yeah. Yeah. He took his... Isn't that... It's so wild. It's crazy. Yeah, they were treating it like they were about to shoot a movie or something. It was this big dinner. They all get fucking cocked up, and then they're like, All right, we got to go fight tomorrow. Yeah, it's awesome. It was this weird celebration.

They wereThey were drinking back then. Yeah. He made sure his boys all got whiskey and rum. Yeah, it's wild. It was rum, and then everybody got a cup of their rations where you got a cup of whiskey every day. Every soldier. Wow. And then he was like, If the rations were low, we'll... Or rum at first, and then we'll switch to whiskey if we run out of rum. The boys were a little loose, dude. It was for freedom. A couple of brewskees before you go shoot some redcoats.

Yeah, you have to be.

Also, you know it fired me out. There's a part where... So obviously, the Revolution starts in Massachusetts, and then they're trying to rally the rest of the colonies to be like, Help us out. And then so Virginia, that's why they get Washington, because he was a Virginian, so they want to bring all the colonies in. But then when Pennsylvania and South Carolina and North Carolina start joining in, and then it's just such a... It was a true melting pot. You know what I mean? But it's talking about how just frontiersmen from Pennsylvania started rolling in and hanging out with all these New England pussies. It's like, damn, that's pretty sick. Yeah. And they were like, These guys are a problem. The British were like, oh, fuck. They got the retarded guys.

Pa was always a problem?

Pa was a problem. Pa, anybody that was out... Appalachia was where the country stopped.

Okay.

Like, Passed that was native land. And there were people out there fighting. So these guys had been fighting for 40 years.

See, this is the shit I wish I could retain. It's impressive to me that you have this working knowledge.

And they're trappers and shit, and they're survivalists, so they knew how to live on the land with no food and shit. So all of a sudden, you got all these freaks coming out of the woods. And you're just some fucking queer from fucking London.

This is a serious question. From watching all that stuff and whatever, do you feel like you have some working knowledge of survival skills? Oh, my God, no. If you got trapped in the woods.

I can't. I struggle with scramble eggs.

I'll tell you, you got to get a coffee maker.

If somebody was to make me pancakes, I'd be like, who You could get me instant pancake mix and everything that I need, and I'd be like, This is going to be tough. Yeah. I have no survival skills.

Pancakes are tough. I could teach you how. Pancakes are tough. But they're tough. You know the trick to flipping a pancake?

What is it?

When the top part is all bubbled, when you see all the little holes in it, that's when you know it's ready to flip.

I'll keep that in mind.

Yeah, but pancakes are tough.

I like a little raw pancake.

Dude, a little cakey pancake.

I don't mind a little batter in there. That's gross. I know it's gross. I'm not afraid to admit that.

That's really gross.

Don't the fuck up.

That's good shit. I think you get salmonella like that.

I don't give a fuck about salmonella. From flour? I'll never get salmonella.

The 22 bubble mix will kill it. I will never get Salmonella. Drought in 22.

I'm on Revolutionary War fucking diet, dude. Glass of whiskey, eat a couple of fucking lemons. Oh, my gosh. Whatever I can get my My hands on, dude.

I was talking to McCann, James McCann, about the road and just hating the road.

Yeah, it was funny. I talked to him about it. He was like, I don't know how you've been doing it like this. I was like, what?

He goes, You take Shane. He's got his routine. He gets up, he has his 20 beers. He does the show.

That's how you do it, dude.

Yeah. Starbleezy. Look at this fucking thing that Lamair got. Of course. Thanks, Gardean.

It's going to be good, dude.

You can take it. If you want, you can swig it.

Nice immunity defense drink. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt.

Fixing the cuts.

Look at this abomination.

This is good.

Look at that, dude.

This is good.

This is good stuff. He doesn't drink coffee. You give him lemonade and sugar. What? And then he runs around.

It's coconut milk. It's strawberry milk.

It's strawberry milk. He gets the zoomies after that.

Strawberry coconut milk.

I have to yell at him to get off the couch. You're not supposed to be up there, but that's all right. Dude, I met Sarah Palin. Mats away. You can lay on the couch.

Dude, I met Sarah Palin. She was fucking cool. I'm sure. Yeah, she was cool as hell.

She's still hot? Yeah.

She's just older now. Yeah, I like that shit. I would, respectfully.

Yeah? Yeah.

Very much respectfully.

Yeah. Yeah, she was banging, dude.

Yeah.

Those McCain years?

She was so hot.

Banging, dude.

She blew it, right?

By talking. She fucked it up real bad.

I think she blew it a little. It's crazy. The Republicans were like, We need a female vice president.

Dude, by the end of that, by the end of that election, McCain was like...

You could see-He was at fucking JT Realmuto. You see that when that fat pitcher runs out of the bullpen? No. It's fucking incredible. And then the catcher for the Philly sees this big... He's not that fat. He's like a chubby guy, comes sprinting out of the bullpen. And then the camera cuts the catcher who's standing there, and he just goes... The guy's gassed. He's out of breath at the mound. He can't catch his breath. He gives up a homer, and then he fucking get him off the field.

Dude, what's the clip where the guys are in the pen, and they're yelling at the Empire's call, and the coach just going, he's a cut.

I never saw that. I like it, though. He's doing the symbol.

He's a cut. He's screaming it, dude. It's from the '80s, early '90s. I'm like, a TV camera caught that. People didn't have iPhone. There was some camera there recording it. It would soak, dude, baseball.

When they spaz, it's the best. Who is it? Is it Tommy Lesorto with the-Best whatever. Where he's like, my ass is in a jackpot if I don't get you out of here, Tommy. Tommy, you know my ass is in a jackpot right now.

Wait, I thought you were going to talk about the radio interview. Which was that one? The Baclava one, where they're like, They said you might... It's after a game, dude. It's on AM radio. So it's going out live. They're interviewing him after a game. Clearly, they must have lost. He's in a mood. And they go, We heard you were going to trade so and so for Bobby Baclava or something. He goes, Let me tell you something about that cocksucker. Bobby Baclava couldn't hit fucking water if he fell out of a fucking boat. You tell me, I'm going to bring you on my fucking team. Let's be out of your fucking mind. Dude, he just loses it, dude. Lose it.

Yeah, baseball spazes are nuts. They're the best. They lose their mind more than football.

The best spazz is your baseball and then Bobby Knight basketball spazz. Bobby Knight basketball.

Dawson's a chair across the corner. Fucking hilarious. Joking a player. It's basically white boy spazz. True white boy rage spaz.

Did you ever see the Jim Balushi when he was on SNL, when he was a cast member? It's from the '80s when he's doing the chess coach, but he's doing it like Bobby Knight, high school chess coach. That's great. And he's kicking the chairs. He's like, Come on. You call that a rock to ball?

That's awesome.

Yeah, it's really funny.

Yeah, Bobby was good. I think he choked a player to practice, which was great.

You can't choke players anymore, dude. They make too much money now.

You couldn't even choke players back then. They They were really upset about it.

Yeah, the Bobby Knight's things, the things where he's in the press because he hates reporters so much. There's one where a lady asks him a question. He goes, Well, let me tell you something. I love speaking to a person who His job is one step below prostitution. Yeah, that's nice. It's fired these people.

That's nice. Yeah, it's the best. I think, yeah, baseball has number one spazes.

Yeah, why is that? Because it's such a soothing game, and it's like, they're out on the man.

Out of nowhere, a guy is fucking kicking dirt at somebody.

Tommy, my ass is in a jackpot. You know I got to fucking do this?

Chest to chest, every time they yell.

Empire mask grab is always great. Fucking insane.

It's out of nowhere. It's crazy. I guess you're out there for fucking 180 games. You've been gone from home for fucking six months. It's August.

Yeah. You're sweating your ass off.

You're doing a double header in Cincinnati. Yeah.

You're sweating your ass off.

Some umps just fucking you.

I got to be honest. I don't know that I've ever seen a football spaz.

There's been some good ones.

They've happened, I'm sure.

No, there's been some good ones. You get a good spaz when the reporter interviews the coach right before halftime. You know how they do that? When the team's head of the locker room, they're like, What changes do you have to make on offense to get this thing going? The guy's just like, The The players are out there trying their fucking artists, and the coaches are fucking it up. It just keeps running. You're like, Oh, shit. This is an ad by Betterhelp. Oh, yeah. The help with the beta.

Yes.

October isn't just for sweet treats and scares. I like where this is good writing. It's also a good time to appreciate therapists who have helped you and a loved one. Because if you don't know already, October 10th is World Mental Health Day. Did you know that?

I did not.

All right. If you feel comfortable, give a huge thanks to a current or past therapist. How did they help you? Maybe set you in a new direction, tell you how to celebrate small wins, or provide a safe space for you to cry and unload. I found a couple of safe spaces to unload. One time I thought I had a safe space to unload. I was on this couch, and somebody walked right in. Who? My girlfriend. I had to skedaddle because I was trying to unload on the couch. What I wanted her to know.

She could have hopped in.

Well, I was crying also. I was crying and unloading.

Yeah.

Sometimes a good person will help you cry and unload.

I'd like to point out that for me, every day is mental health day. That's good.

Yeah. Thank you. Lamair, can you give us a time that somebody taught you how to celebrate small wins and provide a safe space for you to cry and unload?

I don't know. Yeah, you're about to.

You can share. This is for better help.

But help with the better. Well, the dead girlfriend, she told me that every time you see somebody you don't know who's nice, you got to mention it. That's it. That's the lesson.

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I've used it over the years. It's a good service.

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Hey, folks. Thanks for...

You got it.

Listen, buddy. That's good. Thanks for having me on the show.

No, thanks for doing it, man. I appreciate it. I know it was a short notice, and that's a tough seat to fill.

Yeah, I know. Mccusker is a good man.

Mccusker is one of the best.

Bunny man, one of the best. But thank you for having me. I got the San Francisco punchline all weekend. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. Come on out. Let's have some fun. My special I Never Promise You A Rose Garden is on my YouTube, which is @JodaRosaComedy. Please go check that out if you haven't yet, and smash that subscribe button.

No, no. Don't subscribe. Also, you remember we met at a punchline? No, we didn't meet there. I opened for you at the Philadelphia Punchline, and a guy spit on you in the front row. Anyway, what were you doing?

We talked about it Last time you were here, I think so, yeah.

Hello, everybody. It's me, Lamaire. Optimal Noctus on October seventh. I'm going to be in Knoxville, Tennessee, October 16th. Then also Des Moines, Iowa, October 23rd and 24th. Please come hang out.

Yeah, that's good stuff.

Oh, yeah. You know what? Also, sorry. One other plug because this is hometown. Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. I'm headlining the Colonial Theater on Bridge Street, December 20th. Home for the holidays, it's called. Big Christmas.

Go to Shane M. Gillis. Com. I'm going to do Baltimore, Vegas, San Francisco, Sacramento, Tucson, Phoenix, Boise, Portland, and then Madison Square, Gaden. Fuck you, Nate. Let's get back to the show.

Oh, man. That's awesome. I don't watch sports at all, but I will frequently look up sports spas, sports meltdown. Nothing like a good... Oh, wait, we talked about this last time. Nothing like a good meltdown on camera. We talked about our comedy ones last time. Yeah.

You ever watch Super Smash Brothers, professional players meltdowns?

I mean, a gamer meltdowns must be number one.

Dude, it's crazy. They go nuts. No, that was a fake video. Yeah, those are shooters, bro. Yeah.

They were a couple of pills away from pulling a trigger on someone.

Like, I need this.

Yeah, 12-year-old kid smashing his keyboard.

Hit the fucking meltdown on you, dude.

That's how we started talking about this last time.

It's literally my favorite.

You You pulled out. I started trying to tell you.

You said, Don't tell. I don't like bringing it up because Danny... I mean, I bring it up constantly.

Danny, we love you. But yeah.

Dan's the best.

I got Dan so mad when they were playing NC-You didn't understand that.

You didn't understand the context. I know. We We just got the game. It's me and him. It's our favorite thing. I used to go to his house. We played together. We had a dynasty. I ran offense, he ran defense. It was a glorious time. And then the game reboots, and we get it back for the first time in 10 years. So he comes to Philly to play it with me.

And I beat him. You guys did a gig. It was like-Yeah, it was for EA Sports.

I streamed it. I beat him the first couple. I was just killing him. And then the one game he was winning, the salacious crumb. My Minion comes in and starts doing my bidding. Just sat on the couch next to me. It was like, Yeah, Dan. I was like, Yeah, of course, you guys can fucking... You guys are holding on to every block. My guys can't block for shit. And you were like, Yeah, it does seem like the guys on Dan's team are better at blocking. He was just like, Shut the fuck up. And then he blew a 14 or 17 point lead and missed an extra point and lost. Yeah. Just spazz.

And I said something. He went like He went, DeRosa. I said, Yo, dude.

He's a number one video game spaz. Yeah, he keep flips. Ponches the table. Spaz his throat, shit.

Dude, I remember we were watching the Niners and the Eagles play at Jay's house. No, this isn't the-Well, that one's hilarious. It's not the one where he texted me and said, If I was in the room with you right now, I'd punch you in the face. Because there's The Niners.

Dude, you don't understand sports, dude. The Niners are losing in the NFC Championship to the Eagles, and this cocksucker's in the group text like, Yeah, the Niners look like shit.

It was when the Niners started the fight on the field. And I go, I remember when this was a game, a bunch of bums out on this field today. It was like, If I was in the room with you, I'd punch you in the face. You're a little girl.

I couldn't agree more with Dan. If Nodame was losing a game in one of my friends that doesn't watch sports was like, They suck. They're assholes.

Jay was cracking up because it was a pro-Egals.

It was his team, yeah.

No, one time, the three of us were watching. It was me, Jay, and Soda at Jay's house in New York. The Niners were losing, and Dan was all like, Okay, man. We got to get it back. We got to run up the field. It's not going to happen, Dan. They're not good enough.

You're the crumb, dude. You're the salacious. That would fucking kill me. Yeah, I'm furious. I can tell I would get dark red face immediately. If you said that, I would feel my cheeks get red, and I'd be like, I don't even care. I'd give it about five seconds. I go, Dude, shut the fuck up.

Listen, I swear to God, that's how I get when somebody says, If somebody's like, What the heck sucks? I remember I got that mad at Bill because Burr said, The Empire Strikes Back and Star Wars Don't Hold Up as Movies. I got as mad as you're talking at him about that. I was like, You know what the fuck you're talking about, dude? You think, Oh, you fucking saw it, dude. Shut the fuck up, dude. I literally get that mad.

Which one's the Empire Strike Back? Is that the-The second one.

The second.

When Han gets frozen.

That's on Haft, dude. That shit rock. That's tough. That's a good one. Yeah, Empire Rift. You're arguably number one.

It ended bad. It's the best one. Almost inarguably number one. It ended really bad.

I think, hands down, it's the best one. Why did it end bad?

Because what did they do? They just fucking played to the sequel. Wait, what happened? At the end of the second Star Wars, it just plays to the sequel.

What do you mean plays to the sequel?

It just ends. It's like a cliffhanger.

Yeah, that's awesome, though. That's gay. Dude, I saw that movie in the theater as a kid. That was torturous, dude.

Was that '75?

No, '80. It came out in '80. Then I think we saw a re… When I was five, I think. But I was old enough to understand because I watched Star Wars on TV. And dude, that cliffhanger, it was torturous.

Lord of the Rings got me. I saw the first one. They just walked the whole time, and it fucking ended.

I was like, it was three hours.

The next one's in fucking three years.

Dude, I never read the book. I read The Hobbit, but I never read the Lord of the Rings. I thought the first book, they get to Mordor and they end it, and then the second movie It was a different story. And I was like, Wait, what the fuck? That realization of there's two more movies of them going to Mordor. And I was like, I don't know if I got this.

That's how I felt about Dune 1.

It wasn't for me.

Dune ended and I was like, Oh, You killed one guy. Dune is all right, though. Dune 2, it picks up.

I didn't like the first one. I wasn't feeling the first one.

Are you excited to see that new Leonardo movie?

It looks pretty good.

The libs are loving it, so I'm sure you're going to fucking jack off to it. I was really excited about it, and I hope it's good. But so far, everyone that has been posting about it or hiked about it has been...

I agree.

Die Hard Lib.

I agree that it's-So we'll see what it is. When it gets rarad by a certain percentage.

That's how movies get ruined.

That's why I went and saw a Black Panther.

I was like, This fucking blows, dude. Everyone was just jacking off to it.

It was Black James Bond. What is? Black Panther. It's just Black James Bond the whole time. No, it's not.

How the fuck is it James Bond?

He goes to Q, his sister. He gets all the tech, and then he goes solve the mysteries.

All right.

I never thought of it like that. It's just Black James Bond.

That's because...

That's because he sucks.

That's because... Of course, you didn't think.

I think it's more like Black Batman.

No, Batman stinks.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Batman fucking sucks, dude.

What are you talking?

Batman sucks. Dude, I'm a Superman man. Superman rules, Batman stinks.

That's one of the worst. You guys love Superman over Batman?

No, Batman's the king.

What are you talking about?

I didn't say that. He said that.

Batman ruined society. Batman sucks. Superman, we need more Superman.

Wait, what do you mean Batman ruined society.

Dude, as soon as Batman Begins came out, everybody started being all dark and anti-fucking moral. They're like, I'm going to do what I need to do to get where I need to be. But there's nobody doing anything.

What the fuck are you talking about? I'm talking about morality, You think Batman Begins ruined society?

Batman Begins started amorality culturally. How? I don't know, dude. Something about 2005, and Batman isn't caring. He doesn't care. He started the billionaire worship culture, actually. He cares a lot. Batman doesn't give a fuck.

Bro, he sacrifices himself, dude.

Batman cares the most, dude.

He cares the most.

Batman is selfish. Batman is selfish, and he's a narcissist.

No, he's not outstanding in front of everyone, flying, going, Oh, I'm Superman. No, dude, he keeps himself.

Superman doesn't fly. Superman's among the people. He lives with the people. Superman doesn't fly? I'm sorry. Yeah. Superman isn't flying around willy-nilly.

He's flying through buildings like 9/11 every day.

He's not flying through buildings?

There's so many 9/11s because of him.

Real Superman doesn't fly through buildings. That's just the-I just watched the...

The Pete Holmes did Batman Fires the Justice League videos. They are funny. They are. The Superman one where he goes, Let's have a toast. He goes, I have these classes, and they're green. He's like, These ones have to be kryptonite ice cubes. Would they be Batman? He goes, No, it's Asian green tea. He's like, Why don't you take a sip first?

He just goes, It's so funny. Yeah, the B-homes Batman, they're funny as fuck.

They're really funny. Lamair, I don't know what you're talking about, right? Batman is the most selfless man on Earth. He doesn't live a playboy, billionaire life. He doesn't enjoy his life because he's there for Gotham. He's giving himself to the city.

Who is Gotham, dude?

I don't think so.

At the end of the third one, he almost kills himself to save the entire city.

The city would be better without Batman. All the reason that the villains exist is because of Batman.

I never realized, by the way, you guys know Dark Knight Rises, I mean.

Yeah.

I remember when I first saw it, everybody said when Alfred sees him in the restaurant at the end in Italy, Do you remember where Alfred goes, I have this fantasy where I see you? I remember when I saw the movie, I was like, Wait, does Alfred really see him, or is that just like, he hopes that he will one day? I was always like, Well, I guess it's up for interpretation. But then I watched it again recently, and I never caught the part where at the very end, Morgan Freeman goes, The autopilot doesn't work on this. And they go, Yes, it does. It was fixed by Bruce Wayne. I was like, Oh, he autopiloted the ship and got out. I never caught that. I never caught that part.

You should see Morgan Freeman's Twitter.

Why? What's on it?

It's just nuts. Why? What's he saying? No, there's just somebody named Morgan J. Freeman that just is ultra liberal. For two years, I thought it was Morgan Freeman. I was like, This guy's a fucking asshole. I was like, Fuck Morgan Freeman.

What's he saying? Does he pretend it's Morgan Freeman?

It's not Morgan Freeman. Yeah, it's just a guy's name is Morgan J.

But he's not faking Morgan.

I was like, What the fuck is Morgan Freeman I'm talking about?

Do you ever look on the James Woods Twitter?

Yeah, I'll peep some James Woods. He goes hard. He's fired up.

He'll be like, Yeah, I guess cops are all bad. You fat pig Sharpton. He goes It's hard.

There it is. I'm like, Jesus Christ, man. They're our Batman's, dude.

James Woods?

We need somebody, dude. He's a fucking Cape crusader. We need him. Dark Knight. We need him in the shadows.

Man, But you know what?

Maybe I am racist. Yes, dude. I wasn't going to say it.

Jesus Christ.

Man, I'm not for the Batman.

Wait, did you like the new Superman movie? Yeah.

It was fun. It was nice. Superman was Superman.

Except for the fact that he gets beat up in every scene.

He can't fight. Here's the thing. He doesn't know who's in the suit. Superman has the tempereous power to fight.

He gets beat up by everybody not in the suit. The lizard beats him up. The fuck He didn't get beat up by a lizard. The dog saves him eight times.

Yeah. He got beat up by a fucking lizard. He got beat up. No.

It's a giant Godzilla thing.

He gets his ass beat by a lizard?

He gets knocked around.

He kills that thing.

He gets knocked around a little. Superman gets knocked around, but he doesn't even kill that thing without exploding it. He knocks it unconscious.

Notre Dame looked good against Arkansas. Notre Dame looked good. Sorry, it's your part. Notre Dame fucked up Arkansas so bad, they destroyed the program. Everyone got fired. Really? Yeah. Notre Dame went crazy on him. Nice.

Hey, how was that show? The Notre Dame show?

It was not ideal for stand-up, but it was a dream come true. It was probably the coolest thing I've ever done.

How many people?

It was probably like 85,000.

Jesus Christ. Not ideal for stand-up. But pretty fucking cool. What does a laugh sound like in an environment like that?

Well, I didn't run into too many laughs. A lot of families, a lot of people that were very confused, going, Who the fuck is this guy? When is he going to start playing whatever instrument he's supposed to play? Why is he walking around talking for 30 minutes?

He's been talking about a down syndrome coffee shop for 15 minutes.

He's been talking about a down syndrome and jacking off. What the fuck?

That's so fucking funny, man. Yeah.

Shout out to them for letting me do that, the university. They didn't know what I was going to say, but I'm sure they got some letters since then, and they haven't said anything to me, so that's nice.

But it was more So you feel it was more his crowd than your crowd?

I had a lot of people there, for sure. Good. I had a lot. A lot of people were really... It was cool. It was cool, but there were definitely people there that had no idea who I was and did not see the billing or did see the billing and were like, This must be a country singer that I've never heard of.

Your name does sound like a country singer.

He's just talking for the first 10. He'll pick up something. He's probably really good. This guy's funny for a musician.

Yeah. You have a country singer's name. Shane Gillis sounds like a country singer.

I think you can do that with any name. Joderosa?

It sounds like Ponderosa.

It sounds exactly like a Western Hey, folks, I'm Joe DeRosa.

It doesn't have the same ring.

It does. You got a country. You need to get in a country instead of hip hop. Have you thought of the bars yet? Because I'm going to need those before the end of this. Desperately.

Sometimes I would write lyrics In my head for rappers, I was a fan of.

All right, give me an example.

I wrote a too short Lyric in my head once. I was ready to hear too short go. Because the one thing I learned about being a mac, treat a girl bad to dumb bitch comes back. That was my too short lyrics that I wrote.

It's pretty good.

Yeah. You could hear two short saying it, couldn't you?

Yeah, there's nothing to be ashamed of there.

Nate's fucking feeling it.

Not in a bad way, but it was way better I thought it was going to be. That's fine. Yeah, it was definitely not great, but it was also-That's two shirts.

Yeah, I thought it was going to be real bad. I thought you were possessed by two short for a second. Yeah.

I actually felt like my two shirt impression wasn't that bad for a first attempt. No, it was good.

I mean, you've been thinking about it for 30 years. Just bouncing around there. You finally let it out. You can move on.

About 30.

Do you have another one? Can you do like a Nas?

Sometimes I write little raps in my head about comedians I hate I'm like, Oh, that would be ideal. I wish you could do a rap song about comedians and not look like an idiot. There's no way of doing it, not look like an idiot. Absolute idiot.

Decent ones, whatever.

Just come out, just rip everybody.

Crack Amigo would bury you, dude. You can't step into his lane.

Crack goes hard. Crack goes real hard.

Saglo is good, too.

Saglo is very good.

Yeah. Saglo sounds like a rapper you would like.

Saglo No, it sounds very good. And it's serious rap. It's not funny. Yeah, he's good. He's good.

You ever think of any good raps?

No, I'm not a rapper. That's my trait, though.

Outside of stand-up, what would you do creatively? To express your inner darkness?

Probably be in a car shop. Car shop? Playing Yu-Gi or something. Cart shop? Yeah. Playing video games in an arcade.

No, I meant creatively.

Oh, card shop.

What? It's a card shop.

You mean it's a place to sell a poker bar?

I thought you were making a song. Ramair, if you weren't so laid back, I would think you were on coke right now. The shit you're talking about is insane. You're like, Batman begins, ruin society. I would work in a card shop.

I stand on that. That's a good thing.

Maybe America Vespuci was Voltaire.

Dude, that was good, too.

Wild shit, dude.

That was good, too.

It's a reach. You say a sentence, and then everyone has to wait and try to figure out what you meant, and then ask you and go, Where did that come from? What did you mean by that?

I don't know. Just tapped into my smartness.

Just tapped into my smartness. You're a fucking child. I don't mean to be that mean, but Christ.

Just having fun.

We are having fun, and you're a dear friend.

Dude, the Star Wars trilogy, the second one, episode one, two, and three, better set of movies in the first four, five, six. I'll stand on that.

You think the prequels are better than the original?

Like as a set of movies, all together.

No. I like the prequels, but no.

As soon as Palpatine goes, Execute Order 66, it makes all the other movies worth it.

Well, no, I love Sith. Yeah, Sith is awesome. Sith is in my top three.

I never gave Clown Wars a real chance. Attack of the Clones?

Yeah, that's what I mean.

Yeah, Attack of the Clones.

Attack of the Clones is... It's It's really cool at times, but he went so hog wild with the CGI shit.

Cgi is nuts in it.

It's a lot. That droid factory sequence, it's a little too much. But hey, the whole end, once they get to that arena, And Padme and obiWan and mannequin have to fight those beings, and then the jedi come, and it's the battle, and then they fight Duku, and Yoda comes out. Oh, that shit's awesome, man. Oh, that shit's awesome, man. And then Citius shows up at the very end. Yeah, that's awesome. But Smith rips.

Don't kill me, beta.

This is all good stuff.

Yeah, that's all good stuff. And Force Awakens rips, and then they stuck after that. Yeah.

I haven't seen many of the newer ones.

Force Awakens gave me real hope. Me too. A new hope. Yeah, me too. I thought, this is it. And then the liberal struck back. The Liberals struck back. They said, You can't have Star Wars. They said, You can take anything you want, but don't take Star Wars. Yeah, but they-The liberal's got their greedy paws on my Star Wars.

Disney snatched it back.

Disney's liberal Star Wars.

They're so good.

They ruined it. They were like, The acolyte is going to change everything. We believe in this show more than anything. We put the most money into it. Dude, it got trashed. They pulled all the acolyte merch out of the store.

They were just like... Which one was the acolyte?

It was the one where there was all the chic Jedis.

It's for the boys, dude. Star Wars is for the boys.

Here's the thing. Make an all-girl jedi show. Just Make it good. Make it awesome. Where you're like, This is fucking great. It sucked. It sucked. They did that whole lesbian planet.

Hey. Doing the pod right now. Here, you're on. My ears must have been burning, bro. How do I know? It's good so far. It's me, Lamar and Duroso. We're just talking about stuff we saw. A lot of Star Wars talk.

Who's there?

It's MacArthur. Nice. Duroso is in your chair right now. He says it's his chair. Bro, now. Bro, I advocated for him immediately.

But, Cusky, I was confused. When Shane texted me, I thought he was saying you needed a partner. And I was like, Okay, where are we recording then? He's like, My house. I was like, Okay, where are you going to be? He's like, My house.

I was like, Why are you doing the podcast? See, that's what I'm working with. These types of stories is what I've been working with. All I mean is I'm trying, dude. I'm trying. You would have been pumped. I had some history stuff early. They walked all over it with... Not true. They went straight to Batman versus Superman, Star Wars. Not true. We're going to talk about their favorite toys coming up here in a second. Not true. Both of them are figurine collectors.

Matt, he You know what he kept saying? He kept going, I don't even know why I have Matt here.

They're going to come together. Yeah. Arab and black autism are uniting.

Matt, he keep saying, McCusker who? I don't know why I bother doing this with him. He's talking a lot of shit, dude.

Where are you at, Matt? I'm in New York. I've been doing my little podcast, Whirlwind Tour. Yeah, it's coming out. I'm very excited for October seventh. Dude, me too, man. Thank you. All of our plans are going to come together. Oh, yeah. Finally, dude.

Wait, it comes out on October seventh?

Yeah, Matt Special comes out October seventh.

Holy shit.

It's actually... I mean, it's at least Yeah, it's memorable.

Yeah, it's easy. Exactly. You're not going to forget.

You're going to go, Oh, yeah, I remember that thing. That's when that comes out. Perfect. Yeah. I just saw the trailer you posted. It looks wonderful. I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to see you. Dude, I can't wait to see you either. All right. I miss you. I love you. Love you guys. I miss you, bro.

Bye, man.

I said, I love you. He said, I love you guys. Interesting.

I felt jealous. I felt jealous. I don't know that. I have gotten an I love you from you before.

You and me say, I love you every fucking night.

But that was a very nice sign off, and I want to change our dynamic. I want to take some of the-You're going to have to You're going to have to make some big changes.

I want to take some of the-So you've had this question with me before. You go, How come you don't talk to Matt or Soda like that?

No, no, no.

Because they are not rotten pigs all the time.

That's not what I was saying.

You don't talk shit to them like you do to me. Yes, because they don't talk shit to me. I know. Like you do to me. I don't want war. I've seen war. But if you want war, so help me God. Somebody else will be raising your children.

Hold on. You cut off my nice thing I was going to say. What? And I was going to own it.

It wasn't going to be nice. Yes, it was.

It was going to be nice. I was going to say, I want to start removing some of the acidity from the relationship and start to move towards a more caring, a more endearing, more loving dynamic. Yeah.

What are your proposals? What changes are you going to make? What are you offering me other than... It sounds like you're coming to the table going, Shane, you need to make some changes.

No, let's be honest. We both have some heavy lifting to do, but I'll start. Okay.

I'll start. Here's how we can start. Next time we hang out, neither of us criticized the other one until the other one... It's a ceasefire. And I'm going to go see you started it. All right.

No, ceasefire. Cecifier.

Cecfire. But if you're doing something slimy or gay, I do get to say that that's slimy and gay.

But hold on a second. Here's the problem. You think everything's slimy and gay. That's not true. Yes, you do. You call out so much shit.

Nate, I don't do that to you.

You don't call You call me slimy and gay?

No. I call you zesty, but that's a fun joke. You call me slimy and gay. Why are you gay? You are slimy. Why are you? Wait, I don't think so. You don't really do too many things that I would be like, Stop doing that. You don't mean it from the heart. I like when you goof off.

You hit me with a, I can't believe you're doing this when I'm having fun, but it's because you know it's going to put me in my head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean if you were And we can delete this part if we need to. But if I saw you sitting at the bar talking to a girl, being like, Oh, that's cool body art you have. Look at this. This piece right here. I got this blah, blah, blah. If I'm in the bar and I see you doing that, I'm going to slime you out.

Yeah, but see, you shouldn't do that. You got to let your friends work in the way they work.

I don't like to see them work that way.

No. How do you like to see your friends work? Let a man work. Let them cook. My techniques work, and you have stepped on my techniques at times.

Stepping on your techniques.

Oh, my God.

It's so funny.

The only times I've been talking to a chicken in a bar, and you're visibly mocking me from across the room. Visibly. Look, I'm all for one of the bros getting some pussy, but you got to do it the right way. I know how to do it.

You know how to... Yeah, all right.

I know how to talk.

I don't like the You do. You're very good at it. That's why you remind me of Timberlink.

The moose.

You remind me of the moose, dude.

Timberlink, the moose.

You remind me of Timberlink, the moose. Chou, Mussolini. Justin Timberlake Mussolini. But I guess, yeah, maybe that's on me. All right, I'll allow.

That's what I'm saying. I think we both got a little heavy lifting to do.

I think we both-It was so hard not to make fun of a guy that's like... It It depends how you're talking to a girl. Brother. If it's like, I see you laying it on thick, dude, I go, What is he doing?

Just play it cool, baby.

Play it cool, baby.

This is Listen, I think we both have to remove some judgment of the other man's behaviors, and I think we'll get very far.

I like where we're at.

I don't hate it.

I like where we're at.

I don't hate it, but I will say this. We've gotten ourselves into a corner of it's at a nine and a half from the beginning of the day.

It used to be. It used to be. It's not. It's not anymore. That's like three years ago.

Yeah, you're right. It's chilled out. We showed out.

Every time we'd go out, we'd have to talk on the phone two days later. We good, dude? Yeah, I just... You know what?

You want to fuck off. Fuck off, dude. You had your share of, come on, just poking. Poking. You're a poker.

You got little brother syndrome. Admit that you're a poker. You got a lot of little brother in you.

You're You got a lot of big brother in you.

You poke first, then you get poked, then you go, Mom.

Sometimes I poke first. Sometimes you poke first. Admit it. Sometimes you sit on my head in the living room.

Just right away.

Yeah. I'll tell you, huge moment. Huge moment for us. This is a huge positive. Huge positive moment. This year, when we got a little tense on my birthday, as we did last year on my birthday, you said to me, you go, You get a little sensitive around your birthday, don't you? And I was like, Yeah, I do. I get very depressed.

Oh, you got way too sensitive.

It was a huge moment for me.

You were letting your boss man get in your head.

Listen.

Vossman was in there, dude.

Voss man in my head And me wanting to say, Voss, shut the fuck up. That's two different things. Voss is like a cheese grater after a while, and you're like, Bro, shut up, dude.

Yeah, but it's so funny. He doesn't say anything mean.

No, You're just like, Voss, shut up. Shut up.

He's just having fun.

He's talking about Israel for 25 minutes.

For some reason with him, I don't care. When he's like, Do you see what they're doing now? They keep hiding under the schools. All All right.

This is Voss. This is what he did. When we were in Yellow Spring, we went to this comic book, the comic store where I bought that Boba Fett comic book. When I first saw it, I was in the store with Voss earlier that day, and he comes up to me and he goes, The number one Superman, the first one, the action comics, the number one, where he's holding the car. He's like, Yeah. He goes, That's worth money, right? And I go, Yeah, it's considerable money. He He goes, I have it. And I go, You have action? You don't have it. And he goes, No, I swear to God. He goes, I have it from when my dad gave it to me. He's like, I have it. And I knew it was probably worth something. So I kept it in decent shape. But I don't know. I just never sold it. Do you think it's worth anything? And I go, Yeah, it's probably worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. And he goes, Psych.

He just never had you.

And I go, I don't give a shit if you don't have a valuable thing. What is the joke? I don't even understand what the joke is.

Voss made it, baby.

Voss is in your head. That's an example, though, of what he'll do all day. You're like, Voss, shut up.

I love it. I'm bringing him to Vegas. You're not getting one weekend without the Voss Man. You're not getting one without Voss. Let's go, dude. The Voss Man's on your ass.

The Voss Man cometh.

Voss dominates Dross. Yeah. Because Voss is also bulletproof.

Yeah. He's bulletproof? Yeah.

You can make fun of him all day. Yeah. Nothing. In one ear, out the other. Just every insult, he just laughs with you.

I love the boss man. I can't fucking hurt him. I love the boss man. I love the boss man. He'll get you. But you know you're wasting the slot in Vegas.

With the soberman?

You need to fuck another degenerate into that.

No, I've got a nice thing going on the road. One degenerate, one soberman. All right, fair enough. Yeah, I noticed. Tommy and Bobby Kelly. Yeah, I saw. Yeah.

I saw you're bringing a Sobe in.

You bring the Sobe in.

And Jay's only going to have three beers.

Jay's going to bed at 10: 00 PM. Yeah.

Jay's going to go play a steam deck. Yeah. Yeah. Bobby's going to wear fucking sunglasses, not drink. Yeah. Yeah, but then you got the Pope, the Pope. That's like having three outpices.

The Pope Mobile is flying, dude. The Pope Mobile. He is He's not stopped, dude.

That's what it is. From there, that's drinking with Pope. I want the Pope Mobile in the night, dude.

He just goes, dude. He brought... So we got off the plane and went to the mothership. He brought a paper cup with no ice filled to the brim with tequila. Jesus. It was like a crumbled up cup, and he put it on the... No one else was in the bar, so they were cleaning up. And he put the paper cup on the bar and went to the bathroom. And then he said he walked back in and he heard me being like, Well, yeah, he's a fucking alcoholic.

Wait, was this Saturday night?

Yeah. We got in like one. We just missed you guys.

Dude, I left because I was like, Nothing's going on. I'm going to sit here and drink for no reason.

It's good we missed everybody and just went home.

Holy shit, dude. That is so fucking funny.

Yeah, he was flying.

Yeah, our last...

I told you-This is my favorite. He got in the car, or we were leaving the hotel, and sometimes, I'd have to have people show up. And I'm hung over. It's the next morning. I'm like, God. I get in the car, I'm like, He's fucking... Dude. And they're not fans. They're just people selling signatures. And it's like, Jesus. Sometimes they'll be like, Sean, Sean. Big fan. And I get in the car, I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, dude. These guys suck. And he just looks at me, he goes, God forbid, somebody loves you. And I was just like, Oh, you're hammered? It's fucking 11: 00 AM, dude. I was like, You're drunk right now. He was like, Yeah, I got a fucking buddy.

The Eagles played the day... My last mothership show was Sunday, and the Eagles played that day.

It was Eagles's Rams. The whole squad was hurting.

So, dude, I show up. I stay in all day. Tony and everybody, they're out bar hop, and they're like, Come on, pig. And I'm like, I can't, guys. I'm like,. Yeah. Tony's like, The pig signal is in the air. Let's go, dude. And I was I got a show, dude. I'll meet you an hour before. I can't bar hop with you guys. Anyway, I finally show up at Copper Tank, an hour before the show, and Pope is sitting there. And I walk up. He's sitting like this, and I walk up to the table, and I go, What's up, dude? I hit him on the shoulder. He goes like this.

Dude. He goes, I don't like you.

Dead eyes. He goes, I've been drinking since 9: 00 AM. I was like, Oh, my God.

That was not good. That was a rough one.

Killed like he was sober.

You couldn't tell he had one drink. Yeah, his stand-up is pretty... He can do it hammered.

Yeah, it was wild. You couldn't tell he had one drink.

That was a fun night, though. That was... That was the best. Tony was hammered. I've never... He's been getting... It's very funny. He's like, I just realized getting as drunk as possible is fun. I was like, Yeah, dude, it rocks. Don't do it too much, but it does rock.

Now, we always sing this song when we see each other.

I was like, You should not tell anyone this, but go ahead.

All right, no problem.

Go ahead, do it. See?

I'm trying to help you. You're doing it?

I'm trying to help you, I swear. But go ahead, do it.

No, no, no.

You're doing your little-What's the song you and Tony sing when you see each other? You're doing your little-I just saved you. You think I'm being a bad guy. I'm Snap right now. This whole time, you thought I was against you, dude. You know I'm Snap, dude.

The Snap. Snap the Hut. All right, we'll tell the song.

Please tell the song. No, no, no. Now, I'd really like to know. That's when we're hammered. I know, but I'd like to know it now.

Because we're always like, All right, dude, let's chill out tomorrow night. Let's not do anything. And then we cut to the next night, 2: 00 AM. We did it again. And he goes, Because we got a problem. And that's the song. We sing a song called We Got a Problem. It makes us laugh. And yeah, cut that out.

Cutcut that out. Nope. Cut that out. Because we got a problem. It's funny to sing. Oh, that's going to come back to haunt you.

It's funny to sing. It's funny to sing. Well, when you're drunk, it seems very funny.

I love singing When I get drunk. Me and the boys, we had a quartet. What do you guys sing? We're fucking, And If I Ever. No, it's Fall In Love by... I can't remember, Shay. I think it's by him. Hits him, CCR. Can you sing?

Yeah, can Can you sing If I ever Fall in Love with You? Which one is that? The one you were just saying you sing?

That's K-C and Jojo, though. Okay. Yeah.

Well, I'm not sure who it is. Can you sing it as literally as hard as you can?

No, if I'm drunk.

No, but right now, can you sing?

I can't.

It's a fun game to play. You try to make your boys actually sing.

Yeah. That's why I have committed to the We've Got A Problem song.

I know. I would have liked to hear you really sing.

Don't cut that out, but cut out what I said, Cut That Out.

Keep them all in, although that's funny.

It's a dumb thing you do with your friend when you're drunk, and it's funny to you guys.

It is funny, and I'm excited to sing it with you. Yeah.

I bet you have a good time singing it with us.

Probably will.

Yeah. Ten beers will change that attitude. I'm usually in a pretty jolly mood. God damn, drinking is fun. Why does it never get old? Why does it never get old?

Are you You get so old.

Like you said, one, two days off, and you're like, I'm back.

Day three comes around, I go, I'm not going to have a couple. I'm going to take it easy tonight.

But my point is this, with mushrooms, for instance, right? I had a bad trip over COVID, and I was like, That's it. I'm never taking mushrooms.

People do that with alcohol. That are not alcoholics.

I don't get why, no No matter how bad of a hangover I've ever had, it never sticks like, No, don't do this anymore.

Yeah, there's hangovers. You wake up and go, All right, fucking, I'm done. Yeah. I'm not going to drink for two weeks.

Yeah.

Fucking Wednesday. That's what I'm saying. Guess who just got back today?

You know what I think the difference is? You know what I think the difference is? I think it's easier to quit a drug because a drug, the bad The bad part happens during. With booze, the bad part happens after. And that's why it's always so hard to remember that part. In other words, if I drank-I also think alcohol is extremely addictive. Sure. That might be it, too. But if I drank and I started having panic attacks while I was drinking, I'd be like, I'm not doing it. Are you terrified? You know what I mean? You would like a bad acid trip or something. But the bad part of alcohol is just you feel like hell the next day sometimes.

That's a good PVS doc on Prohibition. It's pretty good.

What did he say?

The thing I never really thought of was, women were really leading the Prohibition movement. They were like, We need to make alcohol illegal because... No, but that's what I always thought. I was like, Oh, just rolling in a fucking good time. Turns out there's no laws back then about beating the fuck out of your family or raping your wife. So these guys would come home. No, there's no laws, dude. These guys would come home, just whip their family's ass.

They thought taking the booze away would make the guys less angry.

I think so. I would bet the beating's upticks after the booze was taken away. No, these guys were coming home. Dude, they drank back then.

Yeah.

Dude, they had a hard day. The food's cold.

And also you're blacked out.

And you're working in a fucking factory. I mean, it's... Jobs sucked back then.

Your kids are shit.

I'm not justifying what they did. It sounds like it. It was a powder keg is what I'm saying.

I'm justifying it. You're justifying it? The kids are shit. The wife doesn't fucking do her shit. You want to hit them. You're blacked out. You got to hit them. Also, to. To the moon. Remember Goodfellas?

Remember Goodfellas when his dad beats him up real bad because he hasn't been going to school for months? Yeah. Imagine the rage you would have felt if you immigrated here from Ireland or Italy or wherever because you wanted to have a better life for your family, and then you have a kid here, all you sacrifice for them, and then your kid turns out to be a punk. I can't imagine the fucking rage you would feel about that. You know what I mean? It's beyond disappointment. It's beyond. You're like, I sacrificed literally everything to try to build this for you guys, and you don't appreciate it. That's why those guys, I think, dragged so much. I'm not saying it's the only reason, but it's a It's a hell of a reason. Yeah. You know? Sure.

You little punk, when I was your age, I had four jobs.

Yeah. Yeah. But fucking, I mean, man, I wonder what it was like to get cocked in a bar. I mean, there must have been fights every night.

Yeah. They were talking about how the bars were back then, and it was-What did they say? It was brutal. Yeah. It was everything you think.

Just guys getting stabbed.

Yeah. And the amount... America drank more than every country on Earth. Immediately. Just immediately. Immediately. Because it was all fucking immigrants from my... Like, poor immigrants. They were just obliterated. People were like, This is going to ruin this country.

We took right off.

Yeah.

We took right off. It's good.

You should check it out, Prohibition on CBS.

Is it Ken Burns?

It's Ken Burns adjacent, if it's not Ken.

Is it Barry Burns, the brother of Ken? This mysterious Ken Burns' brother?

When was Prohibition?

The '30s, right? Or was it the '20s?

It was the... Fuck.

It had to be right before.

It would have been the '20s.

It's Al Capone time. So late '20s, maybe?

'20s, '30s.

Yeah. Okay. Damn, dude.

It is. I didn't know it was that long.

But it just immediately led to gangsters. It was pretty cool. It was a cool time. There's this bar The Roaring Twenties, and then into the Great Depression. They had to fucking let the booze out during the Depression. They were like, All right, let them drink.

And by the way, dude, the Depression was detox.

How fun would it have been to get fucked up in the Roaring '20s? Because you had to drink it like little speakees in secret places. It would have been fun.

It would have been like high school.

Yeah, chicks fucking.

To go out to the woods.

I went to this one place in Worcester. It's like a pirate tavern. It's like a pirate bar. But under it, they had the Babe Ruth. They had a Prohibition likeSpeakeasy. Yeah, it was speakeasy. But it was connected to the water where they would send bottles of alcohol there, and they would just pick them up for Baybrooth and athletes and stuff.

That's cool. I like that, Lamar. There you go.

I feel like it was like, I feel like it was like, I feel like speakeas, Prohibition. I feel like it was like prostitution, where there's a goddamn massage parlor every three feet. You know what's going on in a lot of these places? It's like the cops never raid them. They just operate. I feel like that's how Prohibition was.

The term bootlegger came from just guys who would sell booze on the street. They would just keep in their socks or their pants. They would have a bottle, and you just go up and take a swig, and then put it back in. They call them bootleggers.

Now I get it.

What do you think about that, fellows? Interesting stuff.

My coffee thing flew over there. Sorry. That's all right.

We should end this podcast. Matthew, we miss you. We love you. October seventh, Matthew's new special comes out. Also, Baltimore, there's still tickets left. Come to that show.