Transcript of Marcello Hernández

Hello everyone. Welcome to another episode of Good Hang. Very excited about our guest today. It is Marcelo Hernandez. You know Marcelo from SNL. He is a great standup. He's a real charm machine. And we love Marcelo. We have so much fun in this interview. We're gonna, we're gonna talk about so many things today. We're gonna talk about soccer. We're gonna talk about summer school. We're gonna talk about, um, The fact that his mom decides who cuts his hair. We're gonna talk about, um, he's bad at texting. And he's gonna try to constantly and consistently compliment me through this thing, and I'm gonna really, really fight back. So, um, we're gonna have a good time today, but before we talk to Marcello, we always find somebody who knows our guest, who wants to speak well behind our guest's back, and give me a question to ask them. And we are back with our friend, Sarah Sherman. Sarah, a fellow cast member with Marcello at SNL, and a real peach. And we're gonna get her on Zoom and see, um, see what she thinks I should ask him. Look! Wow, some interesting Photoshop. This episode of Good Hang is presented by PayPal.

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And I have a one who was a really good date.

Wow. For people that are listening and not watching, Sarah just popped up on her Zoom with a Marcello screensaver. She's in between 2 gorgeous pictures of him.

Sup, lady? Can we buy you a drink?

Look at that punim, as, as one would say.

Isn't he so cute?

He really does have a real puppy quality.

Do we have the same hair, by the way? He would, by the way, kill himself if I said that.

Sarah, you know that I like to compliment you and you like to deflect.

I want it. I want it today. That's what I want.

You have great hair.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I do go into getting a haircut and I say, do your worst. So I'm glad it comes out good.

Sherman, it is really good to see you. And—

I miss you guys.

We miss you. Our time together on the pod was so fun. We still talk about it. But Marcello is probably the cast member I feel like I kind of know the least about. And tell me when you guys first met.

How—

you were already at the show?

I met him on the show. This fucking brat shows up. He is going to be so fucking mad. fucking mad that you guys got me for this. He's gonna be like, could have gotten Kevin Hart, Sebastian Maniscalco, Adam Sandler, and you got fucking Sarah. Our relationship started because I'd be up all night on writing night, like writing like a maniac, and he would be like, chill, dude, relax, you're good, man. Because I feel like I'm a very— I'm like a homework girl.

Yeah.

And, you know, having someone reflect that back, having like a fun guy Yeah. With like major puppy dog energy being like, you can relax. You can take it easy, sis.

It's funny that you say that. That is like when I was thinking about what I want to talk to him about. Like, he definitely always looks like he's having fun. It's very like little, little brother energy. Like, you guys, let's not forget that this is fun.

I would die without him there because he is, he's always having fun. Like writing night at 3 AM, he's Him and Cam Patterson will be doing backflips. They'll put all the chairs on 17 together in a big tower on top of the writing table and do backflips over them. But he's really— he's very menchy. He's really tight with his mom. You know he's such a good guy because of how well he takes care of his family. And The little brother energy is because he cares. He'll call me on a Wednesday at 8:00 PM during a hiatus when I'm lying on my couch rotting, and he'll be like, all right, bro, what clubs are you doing tonight? Are you getting up there? What are you doing? Come on. And I'm like, I'm lying down watching X-Files. And he's like, let's Hit the cellar, put your avails in, do some shows. Like, he's like weirdly like encouraging and he like, he'll like telepathically feel if I'm like feeling kind of like shitty and like activate.

Do standups do that for each other where they kind of like encourage each other to keep getting up and trying new stuff?

Marcello does. I feel like most standups are such fucking bloodsuckers that they like hope nobody else is getting up.

Totally.

So they can hog all the stage time.

I wanna talk to him about the fact like he was a really good soccer player. really cares about sports, like has a good connection with a lot of— like is hosting the ESPYs, all this stuff. Like, is a— is like a jock.

He's a jock in a way where, um, I think— I can't believe I'm gonna be complimenting him so much. I'll get to you. He, um, he's a— it's really great at SNL because he is like kind of like a team player in like a real way. Like, he's really good at like involving people in bits and like in sketches and like He gets everyone's voice really well, and he's really good at including other people in his bits, and in a way that's extremely generous, in a very team player way, even though he is a standup. And because he is a jock, he's really athletic, and his physicality is unbelievable. He did a Sebastian Maniscalco sketch where Sebastian is a lawyer. He does a backflip in it. He does a back handspring, like a Russian teenage gymnast. He did a backflip in like a Jack Black sketch too. He's like, he's physically unbelievable. And like light on his feet and like doing backflips, you know, so many backflips. I can't explain it. Like, that's what he does. He is like a newborn puppy who just like popped out of the womb, did a backflip. But then like, you know, he'll come to my office at like 10 PM.

He's like, I'm ordering Thai food. You want anything? And I joked like, Yeah, give me a Beats pill. And he got me one.

What's a Beats pill?

A little speaker. He's just like, he's, he's just generous like that. It was like 4 minutes ago he was giving me a wedgie, and now I have like a $300 speaker in my office when I was kidding, by the way.

Okay. What, what question do you think I should ask Marcelo today?

I had like 3 questions.

Okay, great.

One, what's your fucking deal, dude? 2, oh, are you gonna stay not answering my texts? Look at your phone, Marcelo.

Um, I have experience with that. Marcelo is really bad at texting.

Because he's— well, I have his location on, so I'll be like, why isn't he fucking texting me back? And then I'll look at his location and he's doing like a children's fundraiser in Costa Rica.

I'm like, okay, okay, respect, respect, respect.

Um, And I always know where he is at all times, so he can never betray me. My question is, he's a very inherently social person and gets very energized by other people. He literally kind of can't be alone for more than 5 seconds, which is why he's so fun. But legit, he's an amazing joke writer and he's extremely productive and prolific. He just put out an hour of stand-up. He already has another. He's constantly touring. And I just don't understand when and where he has the time to do that. So I'm like, it's kind of a bad question, but I'm like, I literally want to know when and how is he writing jokes?

Yeah.

Because also, I have a feeling, because I've asked him this before, and I think he was just like, shut up, whatever. But it is like a serious question because I have a feeling he writes a lot on stage because he's so like physical and like gets really energized by an audience. But his jokes are actually good and well-written.

You're making a good point, right? Which is that sometimes when someone's— not always, but like when someone's doing physical stuff, it's like a vibe. And if you read it on a page, it wouldn't really feel like a, like a crafted joke. But you're saying he can do both?

He has legit well-written jokes. You know, and he always kind of makes this joke, like, at SNL, you know, he's like, you know me, like, you know, I'm like a bad sketch writer or whatever. Because, you know, you just get into like a way at SNL where you're like, you've decided you've called yourself something.

Totally.

Like, you know, totally. When you did therapy on me like crazy when I was like, I'm not a good actor or performer, you know, whatever. But he'll be like, oh, you know, like, I can't write it. But it's like, then when he actually puts his fingers on a keyboard, and writes, it's hilarious. Like, he is a really good writer, and all of his stand-up, it's like really tight, good— he has setup punchline jokes. So in my head, I'm like, so he's writing it down, but I'm like, when? Where?

I love this question because it, it, it— I think that there's a— underneath it, there's just this idea of like figuring out what we're like allowed to say about ourselves? Like, what do we actually— what would we dare to say we're good at, basically?

Right.

Hmm.

That's good.

Yeah.

Come to think of it, I did ask a good question, didn't I?

Now, the, the, the Gen Xer in me wants to know, how did you get his face in the Zoom screen? And how do you do that?

Listen, I'm, I'm a professional and I'm also a magician as well. So magician never reveals the secrets that she does really well.

Shermy, I, I love talking to you. I wish we could do it every week.

It's so fun.

Thanks for doing this. I think he's gonna be so happy.

Are you guys seeing him now?

Yeah, he's coming in in like, um, he'll be here in like a half an hour.

Tell him I said up yours.

Thank you so much for doing it.

Love you.

Okay. Love you too. Talk to you soon.

Bye. Bye.

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Do you have, like, a huge vase?

Marcello!

I can maybe put it in here. These are for you. They remind me of you.

Sunflowers?

Yeah. You brighten so many people's lives.

Wow.

And I think I— it's the least I can do.

Well, let's get started. Why is Marcello bringing me flowers? Why do you feel the need to bring me such Thank you for these gorgeous flowers.

Of course. Of course. I'm sensing a weird energy. Like you're not so happy about the flowers or—

I'm so happy, but I feel like—

Put them on the floor.

I feel like this is some kind of mea culpa. What's happening?

No, no. Mea happy. Mea grateful to be here with you.

You came.

And so many people, they give people their flowers. You know what I mean? Oh, you're giving me their flowers. Literally.

You came in very shy.

I know, dude. It's so good to see you. And yes, I do have a mea culpa, if people are wondering.

Do you?

I do. With you? Yes.

What is it?

Because you texted me and I didn't answer. I took too long.

What did I text you about?

I don't even want to think about it. It's a big mistake. It's one of my largest regrets.

No, I'm getting to know you, and what I'm realizing is that You're not a great texter. No, that's okay.

No, but I'm working. Yeah, I'm doing the work and I'm big on it.

Wait, did you just catch a fly?

Not a fly? No, I did not kill an animal. It was a flurry. Something like a fuzzy. Yeah, fuzzy. Yes. But no, it's, it's, it's so bad.

And does it bother you to be a bad texter?

Yes.

Do you actually care?

I care a lot.

You do?

Especially when, like, Especially when it's somebody like you that I'm like, I can't believe I— you texted me. Like, I think about it often of like, you worked your whole life to get to a place where an Amy Poehler could or would text you, and then you have the balls.

Ghosted. Ghosted.

The go now to go, sorry, I didn't see. Who are you, a friend from college? Sorry. I didn't see this until—

Your response months later was like, oh, I was so tired. It was something like, it was something like, I haven't had any sleep.

I haven't.

I know. It's tough.

I apologized and I got here on time.

I really appreciate it. Wait, you rode here?

I rode here on a bike. It saved me 9 minutes on the commute.

People should know it's very hot out today.

Flowers, one hand. I risked my life. That's a lie.

But wow, thank you for that.

I sent them in a car. I didn't want to get them in trouble.

Beautiful flowers.

Yeah.

Shout out to my assistant, Mari.

You made your assistant—

she's in the car—

ride a bike.

She's in the car. She's in the car with the flowers.

When you're riding a bike in New York City, do you have people be like, hey, sometimes they recognize you?

I like that. That's my favorite type of interaction. Hey, hey. Marcelo, yes!

You can ride away. Marcelo, there's so many good things happening for you. First of all, congratulations on being like almost a vet at SNL.

I know.

Like you now, you know, like you're in that sweet spot, right? Where you know how it works. Like you, you're not terrified anymore. There's people that are newer than you. Like it's a nice, nice place to be in.

So, yeah, I'm not so confused anymore. Yeah, I know the schedules and stuff.

Yeah.

Because it is pretty good.

A weird place to work, and it has its own set of rules. And now you kind of know it, and people know you.

And this is so surreal to be talking to you like this. It is crazy.

You have to understand it.

All right.

I know that for you, you're like, I'm just Amy.

But you're not. Well, you are a force of nature, dude. I was watching all of your— every award show that Amy— dude, you are so funny. You had a guy massaging you, then you kissed him.

That guy was Bono.

Yeah, Bono. Bono's massaging her and kissing. I'm very Hispanic. And then you had the thing with George Clooney where you're like flirting with him. Oh, man. So freaking good. The hoodie. The great— one of the great GIFs.

Oh my God.

Is that how we say it?

Because I never know.

GIF, GIF, doesn't matter.

Great. Okay, well, this leads me into my first question.

Okay, great.

Because what I got from your special— so funny. So great.

You crammed it yesterday.

I crammed it. Loved it.

Thank you.

You are like a product of, like, a matriarchy. You have grown up around women, sisters, your mothers. It's a huge part of your life.

Yes.

And your comedy.

Oh, yeah.

I don't know what it is. I think it's the, the hang with the boys is so funny. I laugh so much with my boys, but like, a hang with women is just so— it's funny, but it's also like Mentally challenging. Well, yeah. I mean, we're emotional. You're learning about yourself.

Yeah.

I have a lot of lesbian friends too that I, that I really connect with.

Yes. They like—

Because I'm a lesbian in many ways.

Say more.

You know what I mean? Because I grew up around women, so I'm kind of a woman in some ways. I get jealous. I get petty. I do. I get jealous and petty.

Yeah.

My girlfriend has to deal with that. I do. I get weird. I go, I didn't like that. I say that. Sometimes I go, I didn't like that. I go, when you did that, I didn't like that.

Oh, I love that.

And it made me feel bad. And I hope that in the future, in the future, when you are in a situation where you could do something like that, that you'll act differently for my sake. I talk like that sometimes.

That's really good communicating, by the way.

My mom has really trained me.

Have you ever been to therapy?

A little bit. I've experimented.

Okay.

Sports psychology.

I like.

Yeah. I want to talk about that because you are a big—

you're a jock. I'm a jock.

Yeah.

And, you know, I can tell from the way that you, like, like, you love a team.

Oh, yeah.

And, like, that is the thing I have to say, like, when in figuring out, like, what to talk to you about today, like, I've— when I was around you and got to be at SNL when you were there, you can tell right away the people that like to have fun. And I know that sounds so stupid and simple, but it's easily forgotten, right? At any job, right? It's like, okay, I got the job now. Like, and then all you think about is, like, losing the job or the job sucks or the job's hard or whatever. You forget the fun part because And there's something about you that really radiates a lot of fun.

Oh, yeah.

And you love being part of a team.

Oh, yeah.

Like, you like the team to win.

Yeah.

And I don't like to work, like, you know, in, like, in a very, like, a positive way. I work very hard in my life.

Yes.

But I don't like to work.

Right.

Working is bad and weird.

Right.

So everything but work is always usually my goal when I'm working. I got a scooter. My girlfriend had a foot injury. She had a scooter. I got her a new scooter. And then the old scooter, I took it to work. Now there's a scooter at work. Now, if you got to go to the bathroom, You jump on the scooter.

That's fun.

You're there in a couple of minutes. Now people are scooting up and down the halls. That's fun.

That's fun.

You know what I mean?

God, I love that.

Sometimes I do seal. Do you know seal with that long table that we do table read in?

I do seal.

I run through that hallway and then I seal and see if I can get fully across.

Okay. You know who did a version of seal many, many years before you is Jimmy Fallon.

Of course. That's my kind of guy.

Yeah, that's my kind of guy.

He is.

The other thing that I love about not working or like trying not to work is this is like maybe this is a sick thing for me.

Yeah.

But looking in the eyes of someone who's trying to work, who you are not letting to work, the frustration.

Yeah.

It brings me joy in a way that's dark.

Yeah.

And then they'll do it to me sometimes, and then I can laugh and understand it.

Okay. You talk about— okay.

It's just you have to know sometimes.

Yeah, everything here is fake.

I love when something— 'cause imagine how dirty I would get with syrup. You know how syrup is so gross and it stays on you forever?

Yeah, but that doesn't. It's so nice.

And then you just get the joy of trying, but without it happening.

Sorry.

You— okay, you focus up.

Sorry.

Okay, so you—

Who wants to have some fun on the Amy Poehler Show today? You're trying to work, aren't you? You're trying to work, girl. I have some questions I've prepared. No gracias.

Hello? I'm trying to work.

What's over here? I'm doing work. Your phone is dirty, girl. Look at that thing. Dirty-ass phone. Amy Poehler on the 115th floor of the Spotify building. Crazy. This is an old phone. Doesn't even work.

Doesn't even work.

Doesn't even turn off.

It's turned off, you dumbass.

It's off, of course.

Because we're recording.

Of course it is. Of course. Meanwhile, my butt's vibrating.

Listen, you do this bit in your standup, which is so funny to me when you're talking about your mom making you dance. What I love about it is not only because you love to dance, right? I love to dance.

Yes.

And I like— I wonder if you have a relationship to your— like, you love to move around.

Oh yeah.

You like— you're an energy guy. From— and from a, from a young age, you were that way. Did your mom know that you were that kind of kid from an early age and she would get you into sports and moving and dancing because she knew you had to, you had to get it out?

Yes. 100%. 100%. My parents' goals always throughout my life was to get me tired. Does that make sense?

Yes.

So all the activities I ever did were always with the ultimate goal of will he go to sleep?

Yeah.

And it was tough because it's a lot. It's a lot. of batteries in here, you understand? So I started playing baseball, and then baseball, I was in the outfield. And first of all, pants, right, in the sun.

Like, so hot.

For what?

And long socks.

For what? We're in Miami wearing pants in the sun. This sport doesn't make sense. Yeah.

People don't know you grew up in Miami.

Yes, of course. So I was playing baseball and the ball would never come to where I was because they had me in the outfield. And then so apparently, according to my family, I don't remember doing this, but I was doing cartwheels in the outfield and playing with insects and stuff. And so they took me out. My mom said, I got to take you out of baseball because because you're kind of making us look bad as a family.

Too much downtime out there.

We're Hispanic. You're half Cuban, half Dominican. They were like, this kid will be good. And then you're a nuisance. So then I did soccer. And soccer is a perfect sport for a child with ADD that's unmedicated and with a lot of energy because the ball never stops moving.

Oh, so much running.

It's so much running. You get home, you are tired.

Yes.

And so soccer became my love.

Yeah.

Because I was like, it's a constant thing. I would get so exhausted on the field.

Yeah.

And then my parents liked it. And then I played that, you know, until college.

Yeah. You were a really good player.

I was good.

Yeah. You went to college to play it.

Yeah, I did.

I did. And like when, when, what was the, what, first of all, what was your position?

I was in the, I was a winger.

Uh-huh.

Which is the guys that have to run all the way up and then all the way down.

Yeah. A lot of running. A lot of running. And you, and when you were, you, you, you mentioned your dad was Dominican, your mom was Cuban.

Yeah.

I love when you talk about the differences culturally between those 2 things.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What, what is like the, what are the biggest, I know they're stereotypical, but they're oftentimes very true. Like the difference between those 2 cultures. 'Cause you're in the middle of both.

The food is pretty much the same.

Cuban is more salsa, and then Dominican Republic, they do merengue and bachata. So bachata is 1, 2, 3, stop. 1, 2, 3, stop. And then salsa is like a crazy— my foot goes there, your foot leaves, my foot returns, your foot leaves. It's more like math.

Yeah.

And then the way they talk is different. So like, for example, in Cuban Spanish, there's like a— um, like that. And then Dominican Republic, public, it's a little higher and faster. So it's like, y nosotros los dominicanos somos un tipo de persona que como que nosotros no nos metemos en problemas si no hay problemas. Yo no quiero problemas, yo me quiero salir del problema. And then Cuban, they're like, no, papi, yo no puedo estar metido en algo que me va a reflexionar negativamente. Entonces yo me voy a quitar de esa cosa. And then Dominican will be like, no, yo no puedo estar ahí, yo no me voy a meter ahí, yo no me meto ahí, yo no, yo no estoy loco. Yo puedo estar que tengo un par de cositas que yo hago mal, pero yo no estoy loco. And that is kind of the difference.

But what's so amazing about that is you're making music to me because I can't speak Spanish.

Of course.

And the music, the Dominican music sounds like New York.

Of course.

Because so many Dominicans in New York.

Fast.

Fast. And the Cuban music sounds like Desi.

Right.

That's what we— that's who we knew.

Yes.

When we were growing up, Desi Arnaz was the only Cuban that we were like, we knew. Did your family watch I Love Lucy or care? Or did your parents have any— like, did they care about Desi? Do you— did you—

My mom's personality can be very loosey sometimes. My mom is like, my mom would always say, my mom came from Cuba and it was difficult 'cause they took her stuff, you know, Cuba, the communist government. And so when she came to America, she really leaned into being American. Like for years she would tell us we're all gonna change our last name to Smith.

Yeah, yeah.

'Cause she was like, I'm American now. I don't wanna be Cuban anymore.

Yeah, a lot of people wanted to assimilate.

And they didn't wanna be like, she didn't wanna, she was so like sad and embarrassed of what happened in Cuba that she wanted to be fully American. she would say stuff, you know, like, blondes have more fun, and I am just a dumb blonde. Like, she would say that all the time, right? Because she just thought it was, you know, being American was that.

Yeah.

And, um, she, she loves I Love Lucy. She loves, like, you know, having fun. My mom is like a— my mom has a little bit of Yorkie energy sometimes. Um, and then also she can be very tough and hard.

Yeah.

And, um, Yeah.

Okay.

But I wanna talk about your soccer part because—

oh no.

Okay. You're getting— how do you get to college from— with soccer?

Girl. So the other thing too is the pressure of your friends. Like you always wanna look good to your friends and to your family. And so I was like, I need to play college soccer because I've worked so hard at soccer. All my friends know me as a soccer guy. So if I don't play college soccer, that's bad.

Right.

So I emailed every school. I was sending emails.

Did you have recruiters come and see you?

I edited my own videos. I did play in all these tournaments. And then, um, the school in Ohio, John Carroll, and the school in California, Occidental, they both wanted me to play there. And they were like, you know, we can figure out some sort of academic scholarship. And then my mom said, you can't go to California because you'll be too far, and I don't know what you will do when you are that far. And if I can't go see you easily, that'll be a problem. So she didn't let me go to California, but she let me go to Ohio. And then right before I went to college, my senior year, my drama teacher asked me to memorize a monologue.

You had never performed before?

No.

I learned a John Leguizamo monologue and a monologue from Class Action. And it was—

John Leguizamo used to have some really great—

Mambo mouth.

Mambo mouth.

She calls me chocolate eyes.

I call her my albino beaver. It was crazy. It was about a Cuban cabana boy meeting a white woman at a hotel and falling in love. Yeah.

And your teacher recommended that you do it? Really interesting. So they saw something in you.

He goes, yeah, he goes, if you do this, I'll get you out of school for like 3 days. I'll take you to Tampa and you'll compete in this thing. Wow. And I went and I won. I was the best monologue, contrasting monologues.

Because it was funny because it was like the first one was about— the first one was so sad and very real about a gang member that hid his gun under his bed and his little brother found it and shot himself.

And so that's the first monologue. And then I go, I go, he shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have gone into my room. And then I get up.

I pull up around the chair. Hello, it is me, Ramón, the Cuban cabana boy. And then you get into this thing about having sex with an old American woman.

But it goes to show that people love to laugh.

They love to laugh. And you got to do that one second. You can't— You can't do that one first. And so, but I did that. I felt like, oh, I like performing. I like being in front of people. That was like the first time I really felt like this was cool. That was cool what I did.

You must have, when you were younger, been told a lot like, you're funny. You're like a good performer, Marcelo. Like they must have known that you had this extroverted personality, but you never—

In school they call that excessive talking, mischief.

Yeah, exactly. That's right. We have a lot of people in here who talk about like the one, there's just like one or two teachers that said, hey, like Ryan Coogler was here and he had a professor like encourage him to write a screenplay. And like people that just say like, you should, you should try this thing, I see something in you.

And I get so much joy from taking teachers to SNL. I've taken quite a few teachers to SNL. So this guy, the first guy that taught me how to write a script, is this, uh, script guy named Bob Knoll at my college. And, uh, he told me, what's your favorite comedy movie right now? And I go, I love The 40-Year-Old Virgin. He goes, I want you write the same— write that movie but change something about it.

Yeah.

And so I wrote The 40-Year-Old Virgin, but the main character is a woman.

Uh-huh.

Um, and a part for a woman.

Thank you, Marcelo.

You're welcome.

Well, I have it.

You could— you would be perfect for it. Oh my God, we should make it. Um, and so I brought him to SNL and he got to hang out. And then I had, um, I had a, a theology teacher who Mr. Franzi is based on, um, that she'd like, you know, my body is full of aloe vera because I was from my toes until my head. And, um, Angie, and so I love her, and so I brought her to SNL. Um, and then the coolest one was, um, so my freshman or sophomore year, I took a Fundamentals of, uh, Shakespearean Performance class.

Yeah.

And there was this guy, uh, Beau Smith, and his partner Tom Roche, and they were this lovely gay couple, and they were so fun and cool. And they had this class, and they'd like, you can perform whatever you want, and then one day everyone's gonna try some Shakespeare. And so people were doing, you know, monologues from famous movies, you know, Wolf of Wall Street or whatever.

And then one day he noticed everybody was acting kind of like soft, like they weren't really giving it up for him. And he goes—

and he's like in his late 60s at the time, maybe.

And so he goes, well, if you're not going to show me what I want to see, then maybe I'll show you myself.

And he's in his late 60s and takes off his tie, puts it down, takes off a necklace, puts it down, and gets up. And he goes, He goes, I will be performing King Lear. And he just goes, yeah. He gets on his knees, he starts screaming and just goes crazy. And everybody's like, oh my God. And then it changed us completely. Like, everyone started to really give it to him and perform. And I—

What did you do?

I did— oh, I did a bunch of crazy stuff in his class. I did whatever he wanted. And then I started performing my stand-up for him. I would write little stand-ups. stand up and do it in his class.

Wow.

And then I took his class again. And then, um, they were let go from the school, the 2 guys. And it was heartbreaking because I was like, you guys are the greatest. I just want to see you be good and whatever. Um, and so now all these years later, the college has called me back and they're like, what do you want to do? Like, you want to— you should do something for the school, you know? And I go, okay, great, let's start a scholarship. So I started a scholarship at my school, at the college I went to. And, um, it's for kids that want to do what I did. And it's— and it's called the and Tom scholarship by Marcelo Hernandez. And so now all these scholarship recipients— so far we've had 2— they meet with me and Bo because Tom has passed. And they meet with me and Bo and they get to meet Bo and like he tells them all the stories and he's a fascinating guy. And I found him in Cleveland, Ohio.

Yes.

And so I have, you know, so much love for those teachers. And also the teacher that told me to memorize that monologue, he came to SNL with his wife and his son. I gave him a full tour. So I love— I The full circle moment.

They must be so honored.

That is priceless.

That's awesome.

Did you have a teacher?

I had a few. I had a few, like a lot of English teachers that told me I was a good writer. Or like we had a really good drama teacher who like, we just put on really good productions in our school and stuff. I feel like my teachers came a little later when I like started improvising, doing sketch in Chicago, like teachers who like basically just treated me like somebody who could do this as a job, which I never thought I could do.

And you—

You've never known—

You founded—

Yeah, okay, but—

Hold on.

Okay, no, no, no, but—

You founded—

But did you ever do sketch?

An institution.

Did you ever do sketch?

You're the founder of a comedic institution. Does that register to you?

Okay, Marcella, back to you.

Do you know how many opportunities you created by doing that? Do you know how much you gave back?

We're in college with you now. We're back to college.

Because there's so many people that have been good comedic actresses and that have done great shows, but how many of those people have founded an institush for people to grow and come out of? How many alumni have you to thank?

Okay, so listen.

I mean, it's just something to behold.

Let's go back. Back to Ohio. Did you ever do sketch? Speaking of sketch and improv, did you ever—

God, you're impressive. I mean, a fascinating woman.

Marcello!

Sorry, just— I'm, I'm impressed. I apologize. And let me say, your computer's banged up, the phone is all dirty.

Like, leave me—

you should be in a castle.

This is so—

In a castle on a With a brand new computer.

You know, I do agree. I do agree.

Give her the new stuff, man. Give her all the new stuff. She's got dents on the computer. I feel like getting into Sebastian.

You are a little—

Computer looks like it was thrown off a truck. Pick it up, Amy Poehler. The phone looks like it has been in the mouth of a toddler.

It's sticky.

It's sticky.

Oh my God.

Marcelo. Oh my God, I'm sorry.

Sebastian, we interviewed him. It was so fun. We did it in front of a live audience.

I need to stop doing him because—

He's so fun to do. I bet you're so good at it.

Addictive.

Also, you've got— really got his physicality down.

I love it.

And is it true that you did like a back handspring when you did him, or like a backflip or something?

I did some crazy stuff.

Yeah, I sure did. I wanna talk about that.

Thank God.

Okay, but just—

We're in Ohio.

Okay, you quit, you quit soccer. You're like, I gotta do standup. Was that sad?

Yeah.

The team must have been bummed. They were bad.

They were bummed and more disappointed in me for giving up on them. Why did you quit? 'Cause I couldn't do both. I was doing a lot of standup. I won an amateur comp— I got good. Like, I didn't get really good fast, but I got like, okay, very fast.

Yeah. 'Cause you're a hustler, you know how to— Yeah.

And I was doing a lot of sets and then I won an amateur competition, $500 to host. at the Funny Stop Comedy Club in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio. And I go, oh, I'm the real deal.

Yeah.

And then, um, so I had to quit because I was like, I want to pursue this. I think I could be good at it.

What did your mom think?

She, she was excited about it. She was like, I think this is what you're supposed to do.

Ah.

And she also never understood soccer. She's like, it's too fast and people kick you and I don't want you to be kicked. And my dad was like, you shouldn't quit. I think you could be a good soccer player. My stepdad was also very supportive.

Yeah.

And then when I quit, this is when, like, this is like a balls dropping moment, is when I quit, I was crying and I told the coaches I quit and they were like, great, we get it. Obviously we'll miss you on the team, but we're not going to tell the team. You are going to go downstairs right now, clean your face up, do whatever you have to do, and then go tell the boys that you're quitting the team. And so I was like, I'm so sorry. you guys. I just gotta— I want to do something. I'm doing comedy, and, um, I just think you guys are gonna do great, and I'm just sorry, and I love you guys. And then I just had to shake the hands of like 27 guys.

You had to good game it for those guys.

I had to good game it. And like, most of them were like, it's so weird. And then, you know, a couple of them were like, I love you, buddy, good luck, whatever.

Yeah.

But that also, also lit a fire.

Yeah.

Under Yeah.

And then you— Just for Laughs is what gets you the SNL audition?

Yeah.

Just for Laughs is a comedy festival. You go up there, you do really well, you get seen, you get the audition. What is your audition story? Everybody has an SNL audition story. What's yours?

So, dude, I've never been so nervous.

Like, I was hosting at The Stand Comedy Club every— almost every night at the time. I was a host. So I wasn't—

I realized that you could get way more spots on shows if you just hosted.

just host, right?

You could do your stand-up. And it's tough because you're doing a cold open, but you can do stand-up way more times than you can just do a spot if you say, I'll host. So I was like, I'll host everything. And then I get this thing for JFL. I go to JFL, it's my 6-minute set. If you watch it back, I'm shaking. Like, if you just watch it, like, focus on my hands and stuff, I am fully, like, shaking up there for the whole 6 minutes because I was really, really scared. I had to look myself in the mirror before and be like, you just got to do this.

You got to do this.

And then after that, I got the SNL audition. I go to the audition thing. I do a bunch of jokes about how my mom escaped communism and that I can't complain and that whatever. And then I call my mom after and I go, Mom, I don't know, because they didn't laugh that hard because it's at, like, UCB. And I think some people there, they don't think cosmic communism is that bad. And so I feel scared that they think I'm, like, some right-wing I'm not. And she's like, it's okay, Marcelo, they understand your message, it's okay. I'm like, whatever. Then I got the callback.

Mm-hmm.

And then, um, I, uh, I got the callback and, um, I put headphones in and I listened to Always Be My Baby by Mariah Carey, but, uh, by brass tracks. So it's like a lot of sax. It's so good. And, um, I'm blasting it in my ears while I wait because they make you wait. And on repeat over and over again the same song.

While you're in the dressing room at 30 Rock?

Yes. And so I'm in there like this, back to the door. And then the only thing I hear is at one point I hear— and I turn around and a woman has been there for like a few minutes trying to call my attention. Sam Miner, who's a talent on the talent team. And I was like, oh, okay, sorry. And then someone told me I had to get makeup on, and I was like, I don't think so. And they're like, you should get some makeup on. And then I got some makeup on, and then I went out.

First time ever getting makeup on?

Yeah, for sure. And then no one laughed. Somebody coughed. And then I called my mom, and I'm like, I don't know, dude.

Notoriously quiet.

Cold room.

Yeah, cold room.

And then that's it. And then a few weeks later, I got the call that I got the job. And I was like, this is awesome.

Where were you when you got the call? Do you remember?

Yeah, I was like at my apartment, my friend's apartment that I was living in. And I called my mom and then we cried for a bit. And then I was like, I'm going to make $1 million. And then it turns out that you don't make that.

You're like the first Gen Z cast member, technically.

Is that true?

Do you identify as Gen Z?

No, because I'm too close.

I'm not far enough removed from the immigrant struggle to truly enjoy my Gen Z life. Because you had this great thing that I saw when I watched the show, which I do quite often, where you say millennials only care about millennials.

Yeah. Boomers only care about money.

Millennials are like, where's the money?

Don't skip over Gen X. Everybody does.

Gen X.

Boomers only care about money. Gen X is like, should we only care about money? Millennials are like, where is the money?

And Gen Z is like, what is money? Right? And so I am like, um, you're the where is the money? I, oh no, I only care about the money.

I'm a boomer.

You're a boomer.

I'm a boomer.

I see.

Because I think Gen Z plus immigrants Uh-huh. Struggle equals boomer.

Yes. Yes.

I'm a young boomer in many ways.

Young boomer.

I didn't get to have mental health.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So that's boomer vibes.

You're right.

And my mom is probably a boomer. What's a boomer?

No, your mom is Gen X. Your mom is my age.

But my mom is a boomer because of the immigrant thing.

Well, when you say the immigrant thing, it's like, because you're first gen, you just feel this need to, like, you just cannot complain about the same stuff that people—

Can't complain. Nothing is real. Everything is just—

what about you is Gen Z? Because I think there are a few Gen Z things.

Really good on the phone.

I mean, I can do whatever you need on the phone.

Except for texting.

I can reset everything.

Texting has died.

That's a Gen Z thing, probably too.

Big time.

Not answering.

There's like a non-judgmental vibe sometimes to Gen Z that you can feel where they're like, whatever, do your thing.

Yeah, I have some of that.

I feel like that.

My sister is like definition of Gen Z.

Uh-huh. She's younger than you?

Yeah, but she's an architect. And she's now doing interior design, and she's so quiet and so reserved.

And then—

but also, she has her moments with her friends where she is fun and talkative. But she's like, in our house, she's the quieter one. And that's a theory my mom has, that if the first child you have is insane, that the next one will be quiet. She says that.

That probably is true.

The other day, we went to my friend Lila's house, and her baby is so nice and sweet and quiet. And she goes, the next one is gonna be a disaster.

And I think it could be real. How many do you have now?

I have 2, 2 boys.

I met your boys.

You did. They were very excited to meet you.

They're cute boys, dude. You got some good boys.

Well, you know, they're at the age now where they're watching SNL and they wanna see people that look like them. They wanna see people their age. And they wanna like, you know, there's nothing like, even if you're on SNL, your kids just don't wanna watch like classic old, they're just like, I wanna watch people that look like me. That's what SNL's about is this feeling that like, young people are in charge over there.

Your relationship with, like, Maya and Dratch, and it's so cool and so awesome. Dratch makes me laugh in a way that I can't even explain. And the way that she laughs—

Her laugh.

—is priceless.

It is. It's like magic.

And the headphones thing—

Who's the best laugh? Oh, I know, the headphones.

It's like, I can't. It was so good.

Fucking so good.

She's like, I can't! I can't figure it out!

It's incredible. I owe Dratch so much money for that.

He's so funny.

Domingo was a huge hit. Like, congrats on having a recurring— like, you need something sometimes.

Had nothing to do with that. God gave me that. God and Kira O'Sullivan and Jimmy—

Kira and Jimmy wrote it, right? And they're— Kira O'Sullivan and Jimmy Fallon, great writers, like, at SNL, like, so important to that show. Write so many monologues, write so many pieces. And why do you think— why do you think that sketch just took off? I mean, is it just Just the bad singing. What is it that makes that so delicious?

I think Ariana Grande is so good.

Yeah.

We watch— like, watching her at a table is mind-blowing. She's so talented. She sings so crazy. And then her doing it bad is so hard.

Yeah.

To, like, sing bad on purpose.

Yeah.

And she does it so good. It's so funny. So that gets you through the first first part of the sketch.

Yeah.

And the girls were so funny. Heidi and Ego and all them coming in after her. So funny. And Sarah and everybody. And then at the end, they're talking about this guy the whole time, and you're like, all right, well, now there has to be a reveal. And then I come out in a little goatee and a version of my hair, and then I sing what I still feel is a very catchy tune.

Yeah, catchy tune.

Of just, um, and then I think that's what happened.

It's not just a catchy tune, it's a very popular pop song.

It's huge. One of the biggest pop songs of the, of the, of our time. Some could argue.

Some could argue, yeah.

So I think that it was just a perfect storm. And then I think it's very SNL for the audience to reward the guy that did the least.

Yes. In the sketch. It's called that.

Did nothing. Pretty much came in for 3 seconds. And that's the thing.

But I'm just going to praise you for a little bit because—

Praise me?

Get ready. Get ready, Marcelo. Because that is a perfect example. That is a perfect example. of you enter that sketch having fun, like you're enjoying it like we're enjoying it, and your ease in coming into it. And you do this with most of the stuff that you do. You don't let us forget when you're performing, like, can you believe we're all watching this? This is comedy. How did we all get here? How did you get in the audience? How did I get— It's very, very infectious.

Mm.

I always say, I always want people to seem relaxed. I don't really care if they have the best jokes or if they're the funniest. I just want them to seem like they're having a good time and they're relaxed, and I can. Nothing makes me more stressed than when I can feel like the mirror neurons of like someone else's stress.

Yeah, I feel that.

And you always do that on the show. You act like you've always been there. Like everything is super fun.

Yeah. That's the power of fear.

Interesting.

That's the power of fear.

What do you mean? How do you fake it?

You're so scared. Probably you're just so scared of it going wrong that you're like, if it goes wrong, I'm going to go wrong. swinging to the rafters.

Right.

So, like, I just go absolutely insane. My biggest note at dress is calm down.

Yeah.

Because there's some stuff you guys haven't seen where I really lose it out there.

Yeah.

Not like in a bad way, but like—

Yeah, you push it.

Oh, yeah. There was a thing about— there was a thing that we did that came out on the show about with Colman Domingo, where he's a teacher.

Yeah.

And he's like, nothing matters. Come up with a number. And I'm like, 11. And then he's like, and who would be a number bigger than whatever the question was? And then I get up and I go, 11-2. And I did it so big that all the writers were like, Marcel, just please just stop. And that's a note that's chased me my whole life since kindergarten.

Just bring it down.

But I—

Just stop.

That is my favorite kind of note, though, because the opposite is way worse.

Yeah, right. Well, I can't do the opposite. I can't.

You have done so many funny things on the show. Your stuff with Bad Bunny has been so funny and paid off.

So gleeful.

So much good stuff. And—

Who was your Bad Bunny? Who was the guy, the person that came to the show that you—

We'll get to me in a second.

Okay. How long are we gonna be here? Let's do, like, 4 hours, and then we find what's good.

But do you feel like you're funnier in—

What's up?

That's a timer up there, and that says how long we've been going. We've been going for an hour? Yes.

No.

So I have so many more questions.

I wanna hang out. I'm not leaving. How about that? What will you do? Turn the cameras off?

Okay. But Bad Bunny, wait, do you think you're funnier in— do you think, do you, do you think you're funnier in Spanish?

Yeah.

Okay. Do you think in Spanish?

I'm fast in Spanish.

Fast in Spanish. And you write in Spanish? Spanish?

Um, sometimes, yeah. So I've been doing stand-up in Spanish. I've been doing a little touring in Spanish.

Oh, that's cool.

And it is so fun.

Yeah.

My family, my girlfriend, my, my dad, they think that I'm better in Spanish, which is, uh, what do you think is the difference?

Just the facility of the language?

I guess.

I think, um, Spanish comedy is interesting because, um, it's developing. There's so many good young comedians that are doing it in Spanish. Uh, Angelo Colina is one that travels with me or has done shows with me. Laura Bolívar has done a bunch of shows with me here. Santi Espinoza, Pedro González, and Sofía Rivero, who's Niña de Rivero, who's a Mexican stand-up who really was like a— she's a titan of stand-up in Mexico.

Mm-hmm.

And she's a woman, and she's broken a lot of barriers because she was the best and the biggest and is. And I think And I find that the reason that those stand-ups like her worked so well so early on is because stand-up in Spanish for years, like Álvarez Guedes and legendary Latino comedians in Spanish— in Dominican Republic, we had Boruga and Jochy, and there's a bunch. And they did long stories with a big punchline.

Yeah.

Or it was political. It was like SNL where you dress up like a political guy and you go, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then people go crazy.

And so when you do an American style of stand-up, punchy, observational stuff, I think the audiences—

it's a refreshing feeling.

Yeah. Yeah.

And so I feel that when I'm, like, doing a Spanish set with all Hispanic people and we're all laughing. And especially today when Latinos are going through a lot and we just get to be in a room and scream in Spanish, it feels very powerful.

Yeah. Pedro. And I gotta say, Marcelo, like, in general, the cast right now on the show, is really putting the variety in variety show. Everybody's very, very different, and there's a vibe that's like everybody's kind of bringing the stuff that they can bring. And watching you guys do that, it was very, very exciting. 'Cause the show needs to feel like it's a reflection of the time. And that is like— and there's—

Latinos are having a moment.

We're having a moment. Let us have a moment.

Do you ever have an SNL stress dream? Uh, have you had any? Do you have a recurring stress dream? What is it?

It's, um, not getting to the thing, like not getting to the floor, or it's too far.

That's mine.

You're too far or too late.

Too far, too late. Yeah, running down the stairs.

Have you almost ever— did you ever almost ever miss one?

No, I've never missed a— have you?

No, but I almost did once.

Yeah, missing Yeah, like, no, no, like, I was in the beginning of the sketch and I was almost not out there. Yeah. And Jenna's like, you know, screaming. And I'm coming from a place where she can't see me. So it was even more nerve-wracking because I was there and she didn't know yet. She was looking for me.

This is on the live show?

Whether it was live or dressed, I think it doesn't need to be.

I definitely have been— I've gone out into a scene with the wrong wig where I've been the wrong character. And then I've come out and I've been dressed a certain way. And then I was like— and then I looked up and I was wearing the wrong wig and we had to switch it in like 5 seconds.

Oh my God.

So exciting. But those are the kind of things that like— but yeah, your dream is that you don't make it.

Yeah. Oh, and I wanted to tell you that I've been hanging out with Jodi so much.

Oh, Jodi Mancuso, who runs the hair department at SNL, whose voice is an inspiration for Bronx Beat.

Sweater Weather.

Sweater Weather.

So, um, just getting to like, she cuts my hair. She's the only person my mom lets to cut my hair.

Wait, hold on.

Yeah.

Your mom is in charge of who cuts your hair?

Yeah.

Did she used to cut your hair?

No, she's always taken me to the person that does it.

Okay.

And then Jodie has done it very well. So she's like, Jodie can do it from now on. But, uh, hearing her so much has like, like I've been at SNL long enough where if you guys didn't do her voice on the show, uh, somebody would've because you're with her enough that you're like, oh, this is just She's exactly that person.

She is.

So you're telling me. It's so good. It's so, so good.

Okay. So speaking of the people that you work with who love you, right? And one of them is Sarah Sherman, and that is who we talked to today. And she said you would be bummed.

No!

She was like, he wants Kevin Hart. He wants us to talk to, you know, other people. But you got me and we got her. And we love her here and she loves you whether you believe it or not. Yeah. And her first, she had a couple questions for you. First of all, she spoke so well about you.

Really? Yes. That's the kind of person she is.

Yeah. She just talks good behind your back. Yeah. And to your face.

I like that. And to my face it's violence.

Well, and to your face she said, yeah, 'cause her first question was like, what's your fucking deal, dude? Really?

That's her first question.

What's your fucking deal?

First of all, what's, I'll tell you what my deal is. My deal is, I'll tell you what my deal is. Because I know this is not just coming from her. This is a big question. There's some new cast members that feel this. They go, what's your fucking deal? And I'll tell you what my deal is. My deal is that I was not given the opportunity to be soft in my house.

I see.

You're mean to me my whole life. My family— I was short. My nickname in the house was Pulga, which means flea. That's my name in my house. I'm short, so they call me dwarf in my house. Enano means dwarf. That was my name in my house. Okay, so If you are a little girl that wears rainbow clothes, that's your name. That's who you are. I call people, I say it like I see it. So, you know, Tommy Brennan is a good looking kid. I say that he's good looking and that he might be dumb because that's what he looks like. You say it.

That's a love language.

My love language. And a lot of people, they misinterpret it.

Yes.

'Cause I can, some people can think it's mean, but I don't think that.

I think that's how my family talked to me.

Gen Z loves short. I just want you to know Gen Z loves short guys.

Yes.

Why? Right?

Why? That's the question.

And they love, they love short guys.

Out of guilt of what they've done to the shorts for years. Now they're trying to be nice. And you know what? Now we don't care. On behalf of the shorts, we don't care. We don't care what you want to say to us. Short king. Like I need that. I taught myself to be self— to have self-esteem because you wouldn't give it to me.

Okay.

Women in their bio talking about must be 6 feet to ride this roller coaster.

Shush.

You're right.

You're right.

They don't deserve you.

They don't deserve me now. Now I'm supposed to say thank you? Thank you. Please. Okay.

And what's your deal? Sarah's second question. Why are you not answering my texts?

We already talked about that. Sarah's just a complainer, right? And sometimes I can. Sometimes I do have the bandwidth, but right now I'm too busy to be doing bandwidth. But I will say this about Sarah. I watch her on podcasts when I'm bored. I'll watch Sarah on a podcast. Sarah has jokes per minute. Sarah's always trying to do a joke.

You guys both are very— you Yeah, she has so many. You guys are both really quick.

She's quick.

I like her for that.

She's so quick. And then, sweetly, her third question was basically like, you have written so many great jokes. You have really well-written jokes. You're a physical person. You have a ton of charisma. You know how to work a room. It's not just—

I'm gonna cry in front of Amy Poehler.

But you have really, really good— take this compliment in. And you have really, really good jokes. And you are a very, very good writer. And she wants to know, how do you see yourself as a writer? Like, do you see yourself as a writer? And can you accept that you're a good one?

Um, I don't know. Um, but, um—

You're not gonna answer this question.

I don't know. I'm just like, um, I don't feel like I'm a great writer.

I'm probably gonna take a sketch writing class this summer because of that fear of, like—

'cause also, I just watched, like—

'cause Sarah, a lot of the people at the show, they know sketch. And I came so hard from stand-up that I don't know sketch that well. Yeah. And watching people like Mikey and Streeter and Colin and Bowen and—

And know how to, like, structure and heighten.

And you, like, all of the stuff you've done and Maya and all, like, so many people that have come from— that came from sketch to the show that are so— Ashley Padilla is such a great sketch writer, and I'm like, athletically jealous of that ability. And I think that she's right. I can write jokes, but the format and the character reveal and all that stuff is stuff that if it wasn't for Jake Nordwind and Mike DiCenzo, who have been really with me a lot, and Asha Ward, it's like I would not be— I wouldn't get anything on because I'm just jokes.

Uh-huh.

And so I'm learning, I'm trying to learn more and more of like what that thing is.

But I think that's really cool. Like Sarah was on here, she's now going into her 5th year and she was like—

So I'm going into my 4th year.

Yeah, you're a year behind her. And it's like, that's when you start being like, should I practice my backhand? Like what's the thing? Like I've got on, I've got some stuff on, people know who I am. I'm like playing to my strengths. Now I'm playing with good people. Now I know how this place works. And then you can start being like, all right, can I start trying some stuff that maybe I don't necessarily go to automatically. But it's cool. It's a cool trajectory of being on that show and being an artist, basically. That's what a good artist does is they keep trying new things, seeing what works, learning from good people, getting better. That's what they do.

Yeah.

And you did the show—

Look, now he's talking about me.

Of course. Well, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? What am I to do?

What type of psychotic person sits with Amy Poehler and goes, let's talk about me?

You have to be who? Denzel?

Denzel, if you're watching, I'd love to have you on.

Yes, Denzel should come by. He would kill this. Oh, my God. I would love to have Denzel on. So, because you did the show, right? And this is something, by the way, that I have to ask you in person because I've been petrified to text you after our debacle. So you did the show.

You had this obviously incredible transition into TV, and you've done so many funny parts and roles, and you've written and you've done it all. What advice do you have for someone that, like me or like Sarah or like Ashley or even Bowen that just left the show? And so many people that looked up to you and have seen you as like a beacon of like, that is a funny lady that has worked hard and is successful. What do you say to us?

Let me ask you one question. After the show, do you want to do more— is the hope to do more written stuff, more film, more TV, and stuff like that?

Yeah.

Yeah, then I would say my advice, if that was what you would want to do, is 2 things. Is like, don't take anyone else's advice. Don't listen to anybody. Damn it. I know. Because you—

It's always the person you really want advice from that says something like that.

Well, you only know what's right for you. And I would say enjoy where you are as best you can when you're there. I just think that simple idea of enjoying where you are and not— I mean, I don't always take this advice either, but this idea of like, if I get here, then I'll get here. And if I get here, then I'll get here. And it's like, and we can do that our whole lives. We can always be like, this is good, this is great, but like, I want more sketches. Or now, okay, I've been on for 7 years, now I want to— It just never ends, the dissatisfaction of our job. And that's motivating and that's good. But I would say, I think the real win is being actually where you are in life and trying as best you can to enjoy it. It's like the hardest thing in the world to do, but the few times I've done it, my whole life has changed.

And what do you do when you're like, what is an example of you enjoying where you are?

Like being like actually, well, for the way it looks like for me, and I bet it looks similar for you is that I'm actually like looking around and laughing with the people I get to be with and not like the way—

Worrying.

Yes. Just like being in, being in my body in real, in real space and time. I know it sounds esoteric, but as far as career advice, who fucking knows? Like in 5 years we may have to do fucking comedy on the moon and TV will be on your phone and books will be a snack that you eat. And like, we don't— like, who knows what's going to be in the— how we're going to make content? I mean, I'm doing a podcast.

I know.

So like, what, you know, if you told me, I didn't even know what podcasts were.

I know. And by the way, it's one of the best ones.

Award-winning. Crazy.

So as far as career, who knows?

Okay. Yeah, whatever. Thank you.

Okay. Okay. That wasn't good advice.

No, it was. It was. I'm going to live in the moment. But I don't know how quick you're going to wrap up.

The moment. Yeah. Enjoy it. Yeah. Because life is a dream and we're all going to die.

You played a game here with Fred. Yes.

What game do we play? You want to play it?

I want to play it with you.

Okay. Which game was it?

It's a game where you tell someone to pretend they're an expert about something. Okay. I can't wait. Okay.

Yes. Okay.

I watched Fred's and I loved his so much, and he did a lot of stuff that I liked that I might incorporate into mine because it's so good. But maybe you go first.

Okay, I'll go first. So to remind people that didn't listen to the Fred Armisen episode, Fred and I, it's a great game where we play— well, I don't know if we play it, but I made him play it.

They go, no, no, no. Big red no.

Where you get a subject and you have to talk for a minute as if you were an expert.

I have my phone. Yours is dead and it's from 2004.

How dare you? How dare you? Okay, so I have to try, and you have to try to be convincing. You can't be, like, jokey. You have to be like you're giving a talk on this thing. Okay.

I tell you yours. Yes. Okay. Yes. Okay. You are an expert on corn.

Okay.

3, 2, 1, go.

Before you start talking about the individual varieties of corn, you really have to understand what corn means to America. And what corn means to America is a sense of community. It means that we as a nation are coming together to create a crop that means we will be okay. Corn represents safety and security.

Wow.

And so the varieties, of which I'll talk about all of them today—

Of course.

They, in many ways, represent our relationship to corn in general, how we've gotten to know it, how we've gotten to grow it.

Right.

And how we use that incredible crop, which has sustained our forefathers, how we've used it to find out about ourselves. So let's get started first with—

I submitted it! You got so good. That was really good.

I felt like I was pushing it. We're all a colonel. Okay, now you go. We're all colonels. Okay. You are an expert on the invention of penicillin.

Okay, count me down.

Here we go. So penicillin, in many ways, is a reaction, right? Penicillin is a reaction to the effects of the penicillin before penicillin. Alcohol, right? For many years, alcohol was penicillin. But what's the deal with alcohol, right? You drink it, you drink it, you drink it, you numb yourself. in the pain, but there's an emotional experience.

Yeah.

The beauty of penicillin is that it gives you all of the benefits of alcohol without the hangover and the emotional moments. And a lot of people don't know this, but in 1879, Jeffrey L.

Oh.

He goes, what are we going to do? Right? He figures this out, and then he goes, how do we get it in people? Something like a pen. And that's actually— penicillin was backwards also the creation of the syringe.

Whoa. I did not know that.

And that's a minute and 15.

You had me until you Jeffrey Elson said, and he goes—

Jeffrey Elson.

And he goes, what are we gonna do?

I think I bet I was at a minute before that, but wow, corn. You were very good with corn. Uh, and thank you for penicillin. You knew science was not my thing. I went to summer school for chemistry as well, and I failed.

And he goes, what are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do? gonna do?

And that's one of the biggest questions in science, is when Jeffrey—

That is one of the biggest questions.

One of the biggest. What are we gonna do? Whenever something is— an obstacle has arrived, every major scientist in history has said, what are we gonna do? And so that's, you know, and I'll tell you what we're gonna do here today, wrap this A lot of people in the comments here live are saying keep going. We don't have live comments. I'm seeing the comments. Hey, chat. I know, guys, I want to stay. Let the record show, it's like a lot. Oh my God, a Super Chat. $500. $500 if I stay. Thank you, Lizard King 45. Thank you, buddy.

And then what are you watching right now? Listening to? Who makes you laugh, Marcel?

How much time do we have? I'm not a lot. That's a fact.

I just need one.

One thing I'm watching.

Okay.

What are you liking? Watching? Listening? You listen to— I know you're a bit of a culture vulture. I can tell.

I do. I do love listening to you. I listen to you in Shorts. Yeah, I watch the Shorts. All the Shorts. I understand. To have a laugh. To have a laugh is— it's tough. I know. I try to stay like— I almost try to, like, keep—

I know. You ever do that? Yes. It's hard to— that's why I ask, because I'm like, I want to watch more comedy.

I watch a lot of TV.

dark stuff and I need to like— is there a video? Is there a video that you play that you love?

There's one. This is kind of—

It's just on your phone?

Yeah, it's only for me.

Um, I can look it up on my laptop too to play it. Um, no, we don't have that capacity.

Oh, okay. Um, I, I recently watched this video of a guy who can cry on command. Oh, and he's talking about how his, um, he's On TikTok? Yeah, I'll show you. It's really crazy. And he's just crying because his tire is flat and it's like really intense. And I laughed so hard.

Marcelo, we—

We gotta go. I know it sucks. It's like when you go to your aunt's house and you're like, you're my aunt, I love you, and I like to be at your house. And then you go, I know, but I have a life as well. And you go, okay, I get it, send me back to where I came from.

But I love visiting my nephew. I love when he brings me flowers.

I did bring you flowers. They're big too.

They're really gorgeous.

Thank you.

They really are gorgeous.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Marcel. You're the first person to ever bring me flowers on this show.

Is that true? And I want that to go down in history. Thank you to Amy Poehler. I'm so inspired by you. I'm serious. You have to do it to people all day long. It's almost like what you do at this podcast. And I think it's ridiculous to give people compliments because it sucks and it's weird and it hurts. It makes me feel weird when I get a compliment. I like to attack with it. I've noticed. You don't like it either. You don't like it either. Honey, you're not getting a compliment. Yes, you deserve it. You are powerful. You are smart. You have a good family. You have created a world for yourself. You did podcasting for a week and then got awards. You are insane. You're so funny at SNL. You are an example of how we're supposed to be. And so many comedians in the world have you to thank for the platform you gave them.

And I'll tell you, Yeah.

Okay. And I just want to say a couple more things. And Amy Poehler, the longevity of what you've done to start where you started and then get to hear from SNL, they go, okay, she did SNL. Now what? Now what? Parks and Rec. You're a savage on Parks and Rec. Dying of laughter. Dying of laughter. Dying of laughter. You create stars. You create stars. Think about the people on that show with you. It's Nick Offerman. It's Aubrey Plaza. And you're with them and you're playing back and forth and the people are laughing.

We've cut the feed.

Don't turn it off.

Don't touch it. We've cut the feed.

You did?

We've cut the feed long ago. Don't look at the clock.

The clock's bright, blinking red. A woman just wrote WTF. And I say a woman because it's just— this is what's here.

I have a button under my desk and I just pressed it. It's a security button.

It's a security button. They're coming, aren't they? And you know what? I want her to drag me out of here. You should be on every Mount Rushmore.

Now I'm actually getting mad.

Okay.

Yeah, it's time to go. Hear my no.

Okay. Thank you. I want to say a shout out, quick shout out to my mom, to all the Latinos out there. Keep grinding, baby. We are not going anywhere.

We do need you to leave.

And you know what I mean? To my sister, my dad, my stepdad. other men in my life. My uncle, Bebido, rest in peace. I love, I loved you and I still love you. You're really making people uncomfortable now. You're so talented. And my girlfriend is beautiful. And thank you guys, man. Wow. Woo. Marcelo. Thank you. And you guys gotta get this woman on the phone.

Thank you so much, Marcelo. That was so fun and a wild ride. And thank you for the flowers and so many hard laughs. And, you know, leave it to Marcelo to introduce me to a woman in comedy that I've never heard of. So, for this polar plunge, I'm excited to dig deep into the work of Sofia Niño de Rivera, who is an actress and stand-up, born in Mexico City, and who performs in English and in Spanish, and who is really, really funny. So, check her stuff out. And thank you, Marcelo, for introducing me and all of us to a whole other world of great people to laugh at.

Thank you.

and laugh with. Thanks for checking out this episode of Good Hang, and we'll see you soon. Bye! You've been listening to Good Hang. The executive producers for this show are Bill Simmons, Jenna Weiss-Berman, and me, Amy Poehler. The show is produced by The Ringer and Paperkite. For The Ringer, production by Jack Wilson, Kat Spillane, Kaya McMullen, Aleah Zaneras, Bridget Gearlings, Paige Garbarini, Belle Roman, and Drew Van Steenburgen. For Paper Kite, production by Sam Green, Joel Lovell, and Jenna Weiss-Berman. Original music by Amy Miles. All I ever wanted was a really good hey.