Transcript of Giggling about testosterone, mullets, and spray tans

What's up, gigglers?

Gary, fix the WiFi.

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

Can I just say?

What happened to hello?

How are you? How are you? My Galileo gigglers.

Thank you. Now proceed.

I just want to give a shout out to Last Pod. We started off with a news alert. What was crazy is we had finished recording. We put our podcast equipment down, and the video was just playing.

And we were just chatting.

We were just chatting. And I told Grace, Can you just cut that into a clip? And it's crazy. You couldn't tell if we were podcasting or not because we're the same. It's something to be said about our friendship.

Can I tell you what I'm actually most pissed about in that situation? The engagement Us Weekly got from the gigglers. I can't wait for the follow-up about my UTIs.

They're going to be in a staff meeting and be like, Number one article this week, Paige Sorbo's UTI.

My comment got 17,000 likes. Even when I say something funny, I can't get that many likes. And do you want to know what's pissing me off the most about it? Was I was waiting until this episode to bring up that I went past my four-month mark and have not gotten a UTI, but I don't want them writing a follow-up.

I think it deserves a follow-up because people are hanging on the edge of their seats right now about your UTIs, and if you're going to live or die. Also, Us Weekly, we have to next time tell the gigglers not to comment on their stuff because it's like... Not only boost that. You can't reward bad behavior.

No, you can't. I'm like, Guys.

Can anyone, like Sluthers, see if Paige actually... This is the problem. I can't tell if you're right or not because you've lied since and told me you have a UTI about certain times. You literally this week lied to someone about a migraine.

Wait, I felt one coming on. How did you know about that?

Wait, who told me about that? I know everything. I have eyes everywhere. I have eyes everywhere.

That actually wasn't a lie. I got off my flight and it was like my head hurts.

There was a chance of migraine.

Who told you that? That little rat.

Listen, when anything happens to you- I know who told you.

I know who told me.

When anything happens to you, they assume I either know I'm in on it or should know. Anyway, you're not alone in this life.

Oh my God. Can't a girl just get a migraine once in a while?

Also, I have to set the stage for the giggler, set the scene. It's 10: 00 PM. I'm in my Daphne, no pants, ready to go to bed. Did get a spray tan, so I'm feeling myself. But Paige is in full glam, had a full day in Hollywood doing Hollywood things.

I'm in my full Daphné. I got a spray tan yesterday.

Yours is a little darker than mine.

Okay, so I went a little dark because I was like, it has to last till Sunday. I'm obsessed with this woman. She was an artist. She wasn't a spray tan person. She was an artist.

And as a spray tan artist, it takes one to no one.

It takes one to no one.

Game recognizes game.

She said to me at the end, Look, a lot of girls don't like to sit in it anymore because because they're used to the quick ones. And I'm like, I love marinating. And she's like, 8 to 10 hours. And I said, Honey, I love laying in bed for 8 to 10 hours. I got you.

So what made her, what differentiated her?

Mixing up her own stuff, okay? A potion. Not just throwing a bottle in there. Mixing up her own stuff. And then her technique was... It was a ballet. It was truly...

You also love a soft She was like... She was like... She was like... She was like, I love a soft touch. You love a soft touch.

I love a soft touch. She was like... Also, I feel no pain when it comes to beauty. She's like, It's really cold. And I'm like, Literally, do whatever you need to do.

Well, I had My America's Next Time Model Week, where I got it. Okay.

You know what's crazy? This is a normal week for me.

This is your days off. Yeah.

This is my hobby.

Paige, this is so me. So I'm walking, trying to find this facial place. And as you know, I just googled, and I like the photo of someplace. And these gigglers stopped me. They said, Hannah, what are you doing? Because I was just lost on a corner. Normally, when people see me, I'm doing something weird. I was literally turning around lost. They're like, What are you looking for? I'm like, I'm trying to find this place. They were like, Oh, are you going to this facialist? I'm like, Never heard of them before. They're like, Where did the best? You should have. I'm like, Well, you should have told me before I booked this. So I get to the place. It's locked. Also, it was in the back of a back alley. No one's there. She ends up texting me and arrives to open the place. And I'm like, Okay, this is...

Okay. We're going to get the worm. Okay. We're going to get the worm.

This was 5: 00 PM. Okay. I got dermaplaned. She did cut me a little by the nose, but I just presume that's a risk that you take whenever you get dermaplaned.

Maybe.

Then I go to get my nails done. When I tell you it was like an SNL sketch, she looks at me and she goes, You have a lot of skin. I thought I've hit every insecurity a person could have. I'm like, What does that mean? I have a lot of skin.

Wait, what does that mean?

I feel like she was taking out the cuticles, and I guess it was taking forever. I don't know. I didn't have a follow-up. I said, Sorry, as you do. What do you say? I said, I am so sorry, miss.

You're I got it from my dad. I don't know.

And then, you know I hate getting stuff done. So she was like, Do you want a pedicure? And you know that I need a pedicure, but you know that I don't want to sit for a pedicure. I was like, Oh, no, thank you. I don't have time. But you could tell she wanted me to do more things. So then she started being like, Chin wax? I was like, Okay, ma'am.

She said, Eyebrow wax? But you want to know what? I want who's ever performing something on me to have no boundaries.

Yes. She was literally looking me up and down being like, You can't leave here. We have work to do. I kept saying, Thank you, but no, thank you. Noted. But then I got dermaplaned, and I got my beard off, and then I got a spray tan, and I leave tomorrow morning for Toronto, and we pray.

Yeah, I was just going to say, We're saying our prayers.

But I was going to say, I feel a lot less stressed because the first Netflix special was the unknown. I didn't know what I signed up for. I was scared. Now, I've been in Hollywood, baby. I've been in this business.

We're both taking beta blockers this weekend. Multiple of us. Yeah.

You can't help but the adrenaline to start pumping. Right. I'm excited. Anyway, how is LA?

La is LA. I did something real... I hate that I'm even going to say this. I did something really cool today, but I can't say what it was, and I can say in a couple of weeks.

I hate when people say that.

But let me just put a top line on It was my dream. You want to know what? Where I went, my phone was taped, so I couldn't take any pictures or anything. I looked at everyone with me, and I was like, Guys, have we ever been more in the moment than we are right now? It actually was so nice because none of us had our phones. We were all just looking at each other like, This is crazy. I can't believe we're doing this. It was like a field trip. It was like a field trip. It was a literal field trip, and Ms. Frizzle was there. It was so much fun.

Speaking of third grade, I was getting DM's saying that people were making fun of you because you said, Remember when we learned the alphabet in third grade? I know.

They were like, Oh, middle school... Guys, you know what the fuck I meant? Okay? Get the hell out of my DMs with that bullshit. I'm worked up tonight.

Oh, yes. Go off.

Okay. Last time we recorded, we were talking about the hockey thing. I I hadn't really seen the full video. I saw a clip of it. I knew it was going on, but I didn't really know until you were like, And you describe all our sports to us.

I'm on the ground.

Now, the aftermath of the men making... First of all, no men should be making videos. Videos are for girls. Tiktok is for girls. The men making videos being like, You guys are overreacting. Acting.

You know what it also is? It's literally just, I had to be like, The patriarchy. But it's a bunch of men being like, Girls have cooties. Let's not invite the girls. And then all the men just hanging out together, being like, sucking each other's dicks. They're so scared of women being good at something.

It's also so funny that they're so dumb to not even understand the nuance of it. Like, their rebuttal being like, But the men publicly were so... Like, It went to the girls' games, and they were so supportive. And we're like, Right, that's the fucking point that we're trying to make. Publically, you thought that that was okay, but behind closed doors. So all your public shit negated it. We only care about gay hockey players, which I'm sure half of you are. That's why you're so mad at us.

Yeah, and then I don't know if you saw clips of- Wait, and never did I think that Flava Flav was going to be one of the number one feminists in the year 2026.

I mean, what is happening? What is literally happening?

Do you know Eileen Gu, the skier?

I don't.

I'm proud of her. She's like a supermodel. She's like a super... You love her. She looks like a supermodel.

Is this a girl that's 22 years old and is so fucking smart. Yes, and eloquent.

She's talking about neuroplasticity, and the guys are like, What does make bad jokes? Also, look, I'm the first one who loves a joke. Not a good joke. It's like, We're not in elementary school. Let's not I'm going to fight the girls. Good one.

It's also like, Guys, it took you 40 years. You're losers. I was talking to a guy about this, and he was like, Well, I don't know if you understand that it's a big game because it's 40 years. I'm like, Do I understand that they've sucked for 40 years. No, I get that. I feel like I get it.

Also, as we're seeing in a lot of these sports, I always say, I'm not saying men and women are the same. They're different, and that's okay. But they should be treated with equal respect. Different sometimes means that people enjoy watching women's sports more. For example, some people love watching women's tennis more than men's tennis because it's more complicated in terms of strategy because their serves aren't as big. So it's not just holding serve. With girls tennis, crazier stuff happens. It's more entertaining. There's longer points. And like women's golf, people like to see... There's just so many different things. And women's basketball also, there's reasons people like it more. And as we're getting more visibility, the men better watch out. They better watch out.

Don't you have a fucking mom? Call your mom and say this.

But this is the thing. I'm so sick of these men being like, I didn't know. And then I had a daughter. You shouldn't have to have a fucking daughter. Oh, girl.

That is so annoying.

Also, I personally, a lot of these athlete men knock at people and have hurt a lot of I'm not match generalizing, but raise your hand if you've been personally victimized.

Also, not to take this to a serious note, but the whole not all men. I don't have a single friend. I do not have one single female friend who has not been in a situation where a man either inappropriately touched her, did something to her.

I'm getting a spray tan, and the woman's telling me how she had to leave her last job because the guy was hitting on her and she didn't hit on him and she couldn't tell his boss because the boss was creepier than him. It's so crazy you said that because, yes, some guy... There was a podcast going around, and the guy was like, Yeah, I got broken-hearted. What's the worst thing that happened to you? The girl was like, I was assaulted. And the girl next to her goes, So was I.

One time I was in college, and I went to this job interview for an internship, and the boss of... It was at a news station. This It was like a local fucking news station. And the head of the news I had to meet with the director, whatever. I don't even know what his goddamn title was. He made me so uncomfortable that I walked out, was in the parking lot, started crying, called my mom, immediately drove to school, went into my professor's office who sets up all the interviews, thank God it was a woman, told her what happened. She immediately got up on the phone, called him, and was like, Our school will never participate in any of your internships moving forward. You're done. Because I was like, I don't want any girl ever going and working there. And then while I'm in the interview, mind you, I'm 19 years old. When I'm in the interview, one of the male news anchors Facebook messages me, I really hope you work here. I was like, Yo, what the fuck goes on at this news station? It was, and this was in my hometown. I was so uncomfortable.

I ended up going and working at a different news station.

But that's a great example of an environment that they're creating, that it's okay for men to act like that.

Yeah.

And that was literally what we're watching on TV, a bunch of men just being like, who gives a fuck if the women feel disrespected? Who gives a fuck if they're the butt of the joke? We don't give a fuck.

And that was my first time ever having that happen with a man in the workplace. Then I went to New York City and the guy threw his keys on me. But I digress. That was like...

Honestly, we're not even going to get... We'll get to our super traumatic stories another day. We're trying to...

It's Friday, babe. But I will say. No, I actually will say this made me really, really be so excited to raise a son. Like, beyond excited. Because I'm like, oh, this generation, us being mom moms and having sons, that's it. We're done. It's over. There's no more of your bullshit, like girls aren't as good. It's really what it is, is the men see us as like, class citizens. They do not see us as equal. None of them. They don't. Anyway, so one more thing about the men. Who the fuck told you guys that you're good-looking enough to have a goddamn mullet. Enough.

Well, they're overcompensating. The mullet guys are overcompensating.

You look like imbeciles. You literally look like rats.

The mullet guys are just trying to distract from something. Either a bad personality, bad things they're doing that they don't want you to see. They're like, Look, I'm silly. I have a mullet, while they're literally being the worst person in the world.

It's also just disgusting. You look stupid.

But again, that's for other They get mullets for other men, which you know what it is. It's like a weird Peacocking symbol thing.

Wait, men love impressing other men, and it's so freaking weird.

But I do have to say, I thought that this generation of Gen Z boys was going to be amazing because the millennials, we had such a strong... They're freaks. Well, it's backfired because they think the women are trying to take their jobs, where it's like, No one's trying to take your job. You got to go to college first to get a job. You got to talk to people to get a job.

The men are dropping out of college at an egregious rate. It's insane.

Because they just want it handed to them. The girls, we've just been taught to work hard if we want to make our dreams come true. So anyway, I digress. Speaking of men, though- I'm in a really man-heating mood right now. You're jacked up. I'm shocked. Speaking of men, I was in St. Louis. When I tell you there's two men who are so handsome in the second row of my show. They're sitting, I can tell they're 6'3.

You can tell a strong torso.

I can tell that these women stand up and it's going to be like,.

You can spot a torso from a mile away.

And these men, their shoulders jacked and their chiseled jaw lines. And this is Missouri, so they're just wearing normal Midwest clothes. And I'm so fucking full of myself. I'm like, Okay, the two hottest men in Missouri were like, we have to go see the Hannah Burner show. I would have called them out in the beginning, but they're so hot. I didn't want to get them angry. I got nervous. I did. At one point, I was like, They keep staring at me. This is crazy. They're obsessed with me.

They're obsessed.

The whole show staring at me. And then towards the end, I finally am like, Look, I have to say it. Everyone feels weird. Why are you two sitting next to each other? Because we don't like when two men sit next to each other at the show. They form alliances. It makes people uncomfortable. And they just are looking at me stern, handsome, gorgeous. And I go, You two better be fucking each other. Were they? And they both are like, We are.

Thank God.

They look like the two football players in a rom-com that are just the stars of the football team sitting next to each other, googly eye over me. And I said, Thank you for coming to my show. How did you guys meet? And they were at the gym. And I was like, I know bodies are gorgeous. I can tell under your shirt. I said, How did you approach each other in the locker room? And they were like, I gave him a look. I realized straight girls are not aware of the gay look that is rampant. I am. Rampant. So you can see when the look happens?

I feel like, no, Hannah, this is not even just in my imagination. I feel like I've watched straight guys do it.

Where I'm like... To other gay men?

Yeah.

Because there's a look they give, which is straight girls. We don't have it in our repertoire. Will I fuck? But there's a whole different gay male gaze that they communicate with each other on a different wavelength.

Well, because I think that I think that they do it quicker than a straight girl and a straight guy like I fucking because- Well, they had to. There are so many men that have to be like DL, that it's so quick. I was in a situation one time, and I was I was convinced that the guy I was dating was making out. I can't even get into it. I actually can't even get into it. Because you know what? What's wrong with me? That I was like, and that's fine. And that's okay. And I'll stay.

That's actually a great question. That's right.

I think it was like, I was just so emotionally unavailable, but I wouldn't admit it.

But you know what? I get so many messages from girls who were like, I hate him. He's mean to me. I don't like his friends. Like, giving me all these reasons. And then they're like, Should I break up? I'm like, You've given me no pros in this list you've given me.

I'm like, Okay, so he murdered my dog, but he was old. Should I say?

My CDs are in his car.

I was going to say this is the first time I've been away from Katie in a while.

Oh, babe. I'm sorry.

And I'm doing okay, but Katie is not. You're tearing up. No. Katie has wreaked havoc for two days straight because she's like, Where the fuck is my mom? And I know that she's wreaking havoc because I know her type of revenge, and it's, I'll shit in your bed. I'll shit in your bed until my mom comes home.

Cats take on their owner's personality. She has Sicilian revenge.

She's very vengeful. Low-key proud of her. I'm like, Yeah, make your mark, girl. Let it be known that you're pissed. I'm like, I wish I could text her and be like, I'll be home in five days.

I tried to FaceTime her, but no, I feel so bad for Kitty. Maybe I'll go over and see her, but I have to go to Toronto. The Mom is working. Both their moms are working.

You know what's funny, too, is my cat's name is Kitty. I know. Everyone that comes over and knows Daphne will be like, What's up, Kitty?

You talk about her calling her Daphne, but to her face, you call her Kitty.

Kitty? Well, yeah, that's her government name is Daphne.

But at home, she's Kitty. But then Butter's sleeping listening to us. My favorite thing about cats, and I saw this meme recently, and it's so fucking true, is dogs will be like, What are you doing? Where are we going? What are we doing? Following you around where cats just happen to be in the same room as you all the time.

No, Kitty's always like, Oh, I didn't know you were in the bedroom.

I just turned in Butter's sleeping on the bed next to me, but she was sleeping on the couch a second ago. She just happened... They're just the best.

I wish we could see an actual stat, a real number of how many girls have gotten cats because of this podcast. I mean, it's got to be over. It's got to be over 150.

There's been a beta blocker and feline adoption rate spike in 2025.

No, the feline rate is...

Did I say feline rate?

No, but I love it.

Also, did you see Benny Blanco?

What do you do?

So he's launching a podcast, Coming for Our Jobs.

By himself or with a co-host?

I actually don't know those details, but there's a clip going around of him. He has no shoes on, which whatever. Get your views. He's barefoot, but the bottom of his feet are black. And then he farts on Selena Gomez's couch. So there's just a clip going viral, being Benny's dirty and farting on Selena's couch.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Actually, don't even Google it. You'll get upset.

Coming for your brand. We talk about Farting. Okay. You've listened to one episode of Giggly's gone, you're like, The girls love.

We're going to be trying to be hanna-coated. Yeah.

When you say farted on the couch, like they're recording the pod.

Yeah, he was like, Can the microphone pick up this? And he let out fart that was actually so dainty and high-pitched, I got the ick. If you're going to fart, fart like a grown up, okay? Fart like you ate a full meal. Don't fart like my How do you think that?

It's just bodily functions. It's natural. It's human. Sometimes you're becoming- The fart was the least worst part about it. The feet being dirty, that's disgusting.

Well, this is the thing. We all know that he has trillions of dollars. There's no excuse. And even if your feet are dirty, put on a flip flop.

No, just go in the shower, run the water, and it'll literally- It was just not just going viral, but then also- Sometimes if I I mean, if I'm in my apartment, I don't care, whatever. But if I walk, I'm not really walking anywhere bare feet. But in the summer, if I'm going outside and I'm outside and whatever, and I come back into my house or something.

If I ever went outside.

If I enjoyed nature for a minute and I came back inside before I get in my bed, I'm rinsing my feet. Even if I'm not showering, even if I've showered that morning.

I'm doing a full shower always. If I spill If I spill ketchup on my knee, I'm taking a full shower. If I could catch up behind my fingernails, I'm taking a full shower.

Yeah, I don't want to see this clip, actually.

I think she's not a gasp. I think she's like, Yeah, I I didn't marry this guy because he was clean.

Right.

He never tricked her. He was like, Glenn Powell, who looks like he showers every second. Yeah?

I've had multiple boyfriends who will not fart in front of me.

Paige, I am so sorry. That is gay. They're not establishing dominance. A man farting is the only way he establishes his dominance. But you know how I respond? Stronger.

I'm almost like, Is it me?

You make him so anxious he can't fart.

Do I make them so nervous that they're like... Their butt holes are like... They're like, This will actually... She'll leave. She'll never talk to me again. I'm like, Whatever. Keep that energy.

That's funny because when we've been in the green room and you know I have my nervous poops, and then you have to go to the bathroom and you get upset, that's some of my biggest joy is watching you get worked up and be uncomfortable.

No, because Hannah, there's so many situations where you fully hotbox me. And I'm like, You didn't have to do this to me.

You're like a mid-panic attack.

And I'm like, You just farted in my mouth. I'm like, Did you have Doritos today?

I'm like, I'm trying to distract you. Kim Kardashian, Lazy, Never Works, put out an energy drink. Where does she find the time?

No, wait, where does she find the time?

But it got me thinking because I feel like everyone has an energy drink nowadays.

We should come out with a sleepy drink.

Or we put out an energy drink, but for girls who you don't actually want too much energy, you just want enough to get out of your depression, but you don't want too much that you're jittery. So it's just called a little bit of energy.

A small bit. See, I think we should come out with a drink that makes you fully comatosed.

I know, but that scares me.

Like a liquid melatonin.

I know, but someone... You know sleep drinks? We're really in for a while. They're like, This is my drink for sleep.

I have- Oh, because people were putting like, magnesium in it. I actually still every once in a while, we'll do that. I would say Once a week, I have magnesium in a drink.

I put on the golf channel, and I listen to them go- Yeah, that'll get you right. Jim, we're approaching the fourth tee.

You're literally- This put is three inches from the hole. It's funny because you You love your grandpa so much. You are my grandpa. I don't have a grandpa. I haven't had a grandpa since I was four years old. But if I had to think of what a grandpa would be like right now, it's you for me. You're like, Hey, do you want to go to the US Open? I'm like, Not really, but okay. I'll go because you like it.

And we'll have some jokes.

Yeah. We're like, I could teach you tennis. I'm like, Okay, grandpa.

And then I'm like, Watch me I'm like, 'I'm going to play some tennis.

' And you're like, 'Grandma. ' No, literally, watching you play... No, I'm actually not going to talk bad about that because I love watching you play tennis because I love sitting.

It's my art.

Yeah.

I'm like, Look at her having fun. ' I think it's actually the prettiest I ever am when I'm playing tennis. It's the one time I look put together.

No, you're a ballerina. You're doing a performance. When I'm not messing up.

It is performance art.

It's a choreography.

I don't want to bring this up because it's upsetting, but I'm going to bring up. Have you seen all the Punch the Monkey stuff?

Yeah.

Why are they putting this footage out?

I can't handle it emotionally. They're distracting us from all the other fucked up shit that's going on.

Did you see the new White Lotus cast announcement?

No, I didn't.

So what's crazy about it is somehow every season, they literally cast this exact same people with different fonts.

Wait, I'm going to I'm trying to look it up right now.

Which makes me... You like it because it's like a formula. But I'm like, how did he find the perfect person who's just like the other guy?

What season is this even now? Season 4?

I think four.

Helena, I never know how to say her name. Helena Bonham-Carter. She's just perfect for whatever he's putting her. Whatever her role is, it's going to be perfect. Ajay Micala.

Is that Ali and It's AJ. It's AJ.

Oh, my God. Good for her.

She's perfect because she reminds me... They all just... They fit perfectly. Then there's always like, Steve Coogan, he's definitely European. That's not an American-looking man.

Yes, I've seen him in movies.

He's British. So they always need a British guy.

He's in that. He's in a Will Farrell and Mark Wahlberg movie. That's where I know him from. And Ari Greiner. I know her. What is she from? There's something I know her from.

And And then Alexander Ludwig. Ludwig, I don't know how they say it, is just the classic hot guy. Ari Greiner, she changes her hair color a lot. She was in a lot of things. She was in Bad Teacher.

She was in Yes. I'm used to her being blonde. That's what it is.

Yeah.

Wow. This is going to be so good.

So we're locked in. I do have to say, remember, we're like, oh, people who are on reality TV and who's gone on to be successful. Shout out to Mike White. Mike fucking White. Put some respect on his name.

Good. There's hope for us yet. There's hope for us yet.

So there was a blizzard in New York City this last weekend, and people were upset that they're still making the news people go into the blizzard to be like, Hey, there's a blizzard. And then they get hit in the face with like...

Part for the course.

As a journalist, what is your So you don't think they could just be by a window, be like, Hey, there's a blizzard.

Look, in college, I quickly learned meteorology wasn't for me. Sorry they didn't do the same. Get your ass out in that goddamn rainstorm.

Nobody wants to work these days.

Nobody wants to work these days. How do I know it's windy unless I see your jacket moving? Get your ass on the streets and give us some infield reporting. This is not a remote job.

But also, they could just film people who are already on the street. There's no reason.

They got to show the conditions. Look, that's the number one reality TV show out there. It's the goddamn local news and the weather.

Well, they realized the ratings go up when you like, chuck a guy in a suit in the middle of a hurricane and see if he floats.

People want to see it. People want to see what's going on out there. Give the people what they want. No, I'm here for people in... The news reporters in the hurricanes.

Okay.

As long as they get out safely, obviously, and they don't push it to the limit. But like, you know. Give us a good show. Give us one hit. You can give us one news hit. I don't need you out there all night. Just give us one hit of what... From your perspective, what's it like in the trenches of it? And then go home.

What about when it's raining?

To get an umbrella. That's why they invented them. But not girls. No. Not girls.

No, because If they have an outfit.

If girls want to stay in, they're like, yeah, if they want to stay in the studio, they can stay in the studio.

If it's a little humid, she shouldn't have to go outside because then her hair could get fuzzy. Not fuzzy. What is it called? Staticy.

Yeah, I was just going to say something now. I forgot. Oh, speaking of hair, I looked up the ice skater because when you said, Oh, she has halos in her hair. I don't know what I was expecting.

That's what the Genzies call it.

Yeah. And then I looked it up. It actually looked so cool when she had it in a pony when she was doing her routine.

Well, I think she put it in a bun out of a respect thing to be like, Okay, I'm not going to dye it back, but I'll put it in a bun.

Did she get points deducted for it?

I don't know, but you know what I do know? They all do their own makeup.

Really?

When I watch the documentary, they're all like us before a show, just when I'm on the road, just in the mirror of the hotel room putting on their makeup. And I'm like, They shouldn't have to worry about glam.

I was seeing, they were talking about this about traitors, too, that they all do their own glam.

I don't know if I believe that. I mean, Maura Higgins, her glam is insane.

No, she was doing her own beats. Good for her. And I think she was wearing wigs.

Yeah.

Because she always had different hairstyles and would have a hat on, which is She's actually so fucking smart of her because that's it. The hair is done. You just have to put it on your head.

You're so right. And she threw a hat on.

Yeah.

But not all of us can pull off a hat, especially the wild hats.

She was doing. How early were they getting up to do glam and then start? I literally would never want to do it.

It's intense. It's two weeks. It's like, do it two weeks and then you're done. It's not like a six-month event. One of the girls, Natalie, everyone's making fun of her for her outfit. So obviously, I sympathize.

Wait, not from what?

Oh, from Traitors. It's funny because they'll be eating breakfast and she'll walk in just with a body condress, or she looks like she's a female wrestler. She's also a weightlifter. You could tell she's not normally wearing these fancy clothes. She's basically dressing how she thought she should, and everyone's making fun of her, whatever. She says in an interview, she's like, I wish I hired a stylist. But she's like, I'm from survivor. We just had to show up and survive. I didn't know this was a fashion walk. But the truth is, is Traitors is a fashion show.

Well, it's also like people are just so mean to women. It's crazy. Sorry. If you feel comfortable, and I don't even watch the show, if you feel If you feel comfortable enough going... What's her name? Danielle?

Natalie.

Natalie. If you feel comfortable enough going on Natalie's Instagram and commenting, your outfit sucks, get a life.

She's also gorgeous and so strong and just an amazing personality.

I'm sure she's lovely.

She's also classic... Okay, this is where the traitors is funny. When you're a woman on The Traitors, if you're loud, people are like, She's a crazy bitch. I don't trust her. But if you're a loud man, you're assertive. Everyone listens to him. Where Natalie was loud and everyone's like, She's a villain schemaer. And then when the girls are quiet, it's like they think they're up to something. But when a man is quiet, he's just smart.

They had a literal kidnapper on the cast. Check the trunk of that guy's car. What are we talking about? Are you kidding? God forbid, she wore a strapless shirt to breakfast. This guy could be murdering people.

I watch RuPaul's Drag Race now. I finished season 12, and now I'm starting season seven.

Why are you going in such a weird order?

Great question. I don't know. I think because I... I don't know.

I'm sure the gigglers can tell you, because when I first started Love Island, many, many moons ago, I was told start at Season 2. So I'm sure the gigglers can give you the best seasons.

I think five and six are the best. I also, Trixie and Katia have an amazing podcast, so I want to see their season.

Wait, actually, tell me what season that is because I am obsessed with their clips. I feel like they're us if we were gay men.

No. Well, I was a gay man.

I feel like I'm M1 right now. I have so much testosterone, but yet I love glam. Wait.

I was going to pitch this to you off the pod, but I think it's the perfect time. Great. We have to do Hannah and Page Do Drag. Yeah. And we have to get drag queens to put us in full drag, outfit, walk, lip sync.

I fear I'm going to love it. I fear that is who I am now.

Can I ask the hardest question I've ever asked on this pod?

Sure.

Who do you think has more testosterone, me or you?

Okay, actually, because I've... Wait. Because when I froze my eggs, you have to get your blood tested. Well, you have to do it every other day when you're freezing your eggs, but you I go in for your initial blood test. And that's why my doctor originally thought I had PCOS, because I had so much testosterone.

Yeah, you never cried. And I was like, Hmm. And you were. I do a tantrum.

I'm no better than a man. I'm no better than a man. No, I really... No, so I definitely have high- You punched a wall. You would slap my ass for no reason. Someone cheated on me in the fifth grade, and I never got over it. Okay? That's why I am the way that I am. Have some compassion. No, literally.

Did you get tested after the egg retrieval and you balanced a little?

No. So then when I was doing my egg retrieval and they were giving me way more than I should be having, I was leveled out.

I She was obsessed with you during your egg retrieval. You were obsessed with yourself. My personality was...

I was a joy. I was a pleasure to have around.

A pleasure in class. Truly a pleasure. You had empathy. You were asking people questions.

I was helping old ladies across the street. I was doing the most.

You were picking up litter.

They immediately took those eggs out of me, and I was like, Fuck you. Fuck your mom. I'll fuck your dad. No. And did I ever go get checked after? No, I definitely am still... But I will say after I froze my eggs, my period has never been more regular. That's amazing. So I think maybe it did even me out a little bit.

Some people will tell girls, You're in your masculine energy, you're not going to find a man. What do you think about that?

Hannah, that's an amazing question, and I have an amazing answer. Being feminine is very different than being I don't even want to say the word submissive because I feel like that's almost a little bit harsh. No, you could say it.

No, but submissive is the traditional...

When you're in a relationship with a man, being... No, being feminine is a personality trait. But I would say being nurturing or being soft or being like, Oh, yeah, whatever. I guess a form of submissive is not a personality trait. It's a response to how you treat me. So So I've had so many boyfriends where I'm like, okay, and now I guess I'm a fucking man because I have to be in charge of all this goddamn bullshit, where then you get into relationships with men, and I'm like, I'm so silly, and I'm like, wait, what if we stayed up late and talked about everything? And that is just a response to how that man makes you feel. It's a response level to your security. So yeah, have I been in certain relationships? And I'm I'm so fucking masculine right now? Yes. But is it because of me? No.

I hate to say it. That's literally exactly what I was going to say because I've been told in the past, Oh, you're in your masculine energy, whatever. And I'm like, Yeah, because I have to.

Because I have to be. That's like a fight or flight. If you feel like you're in your masculine energy, it's because you're in fight or flight.

Also, I love being in full whatever masculine energy is. And I put that in quotations because it's just society telling you that being business-minded is masculine. But I'll be on some call.

I know so many men who are... I've watched business fail, and I'm like, What? Go back to college, honey. You obviously missed a class. I know more horrible businessmen than I do businesswomen. I know a ton of amazing businesswomen.

No, it's crazy. I was looking at businesses and just which ones are up and coming that I want to follow. I'm obsessed with foods and stuff. I love seeing a new food that gets invented.

Yeah, the girl that has FreeStyle olives. Yes, I love that. I found them years ago, and I'm just like, fuck, yeah. I love supporting that girl.

But I feel like I would want to be a part of a business that a woman was running because I'm like, She's not going to let it die. She is going to mother and nurture and care and be detail-oriented. Where the man, I'm like, I feel like he's cheating me. I feel like he's pulling a fast one.

He could get up and leave in any... He could leave in the middle of the night. Well, never not.

I'm like, Double check the numbers. I don't trust him. But you know what? It's so true. Be yourself. And then the right guy puts you in that place. You can't help but be feeling cute around him. If a guy makes you feel big and serious around him, that's not your man.

No, that's not your your man. If you have to be in charge, that is not your man. And also, speaking of businesswomen, we both have female lawyers.

Oh, we have the best female lawyers.

And I think that's extremely important to note.

Also, my lawyer, my It might be a little too much. I don't want to give away your identity. She's also, though, has multiple children and is the President of her PTA. She runs everything. She's just the shit.

And we can do it all.

We can do it all.

We can do it all. No, we actually can. You know what? It's funny because now I'll go on work trips. I'm in LA for a pretty long time, and I would have never thought this even a year ago. But I literally got off my flight, got to my hotel, and my thought was like, Yeah, I could have a baby. I could bring a baby on this work trip. Is that sweet? Wait, that's so sweet. I mean, I'm not going to because that would be crazy. But I was like, Oh, Could I still do this and have a baby? And I was like, Yeah, I fucking could because I've dated so many babies that I'm like, I could do this.

I also want to raise awareness to there's something about right now with what's going on, the whole hockey thing. The patriarchy enforces telling women, We need to keep the family structure alive, which is basically saying, We want women to be submissive. We want it to be traditional. We want it old school. We don't We don't want women to have jobs. We just want women to be making babies all the time. It's a way to suppress women. Because if you care about, not to get too into it, but if you care about the economy, the economy is better when women are working also.

Taylor Swift literally saved multiple US cities just for showing up.

And also, guess what? Your man's about a business, no problem. You're staying at home. You're We're staying at home, okay? Learn how to clean a dish because you can't do an Excel sheet, that's for sure.

Oh, God.

News alert.

Yeah.

I read an article on TikTok that said, You actually don't need 10k steps a day.

Are you fucking kidding me? This article said- Hannah, do you know that I've been obsessed with my 10k steps for two weeks because I googled what's going to take my Botox away? And they were like, You got to sweat, and you got to do 10K steps, and you got to go in the sauna. So every single day, I'm like, I wake up and I'm like, If I don't get my 10K steps in, I'll die.

Because you're trying to release the Botox.

Yeah, I'm trying anything.

You're in a glass case of your own Botox motion.

I'm like, I can't believe I did this to myself.

It's not bad that you're doing 10K, but I feel like 10K takes forever. Like, low-key, I feel like a lot of girls are lying when they say they're doing 10K. That takes three hours.

No, it takes a legit almost two. You could do it in an hour 30.

Now, if you have a walking pad, that's another thing. But going out and walking for two hours, you could get robbed. That's a risk.

So it's three walks for me a day, or- You're a full dog.

You have to get walked three times, or you get a little spicy.

Yeah. And If you piss me off, I'll pee on your shoe. It's three walks a day for me, or it's an hour and a half on the...

Okay. And you have a unique life situation. Not everyone can have three walks a day. So anyway, the article said that actually you just need 7K a day.

Oh, thank God.

7k.

Then I hit it today.

And I do think 7K is more attainable and people won't quit as much. So if you want to get healthy and on your feet- Wait, Hannah. 7k.

Yeah. Do you know that I have a step app that I compete with other people in?

Well, it's crazy. You never invited me.

Do you want in?

Are you scared of this heat?

No, I'm not scared of that heat. You want me to put you in my family one? I'll put you in my family one.

Wait. Yeah. Put me in.

It's me, Gary, Amanda, and Joe. And so I'll add you. I'm sending you the link immediately. Just to let you know, Gary doesn't even check in. We have no idea if he's even alive.

And this was all created for Gary.

One day, I texted him and I was like, Hey, dude, it says seven steps. You good? Are you alive?

Wait, it can see how little steps you do? I don't like that at all. Because I have down days.

You have to go into the app and then it'll update. Register it.

Okay.

Well, you know I love- Right now, I'm at 7,544 for. Amanda's at 6,971. Gary, it says null. He never checked in, so we'd have no idea.

See, I love a rest day.

Hey, we got to have a rest day.

Were you walking around LA?

Doll, I woke up this morning at 07: 00 AM. I was in the gym by 7: 30. I was out of the gym by 8: 30, showered by 09: 00, filmed something quick, then got into glam at 10: 00, and I just sat down for the first time today.

But you know what? When you have something filmed coming up, you love a workout. See me. I love. I'm in my head.

Because you want to know why? Well, that's why. Yeah, it gets you out of your head. I feel like when I work out every single day before an event that I know I'm going to be nervous at, it helps your mental. And also because you were talking about that ski girl, I did see that clip. Okay, this is so embarrassing, but I'm just going to say it. You know how people do affirmations? Okay. Well, sometimes I'm like, That's so corny. I'm not saying in my head. So I came up with my own that makes sense for me.

This is our private podcast. You can say anything you want. Okay. This is our diary.

My affirmation. First, I picture the people that I hate the most.

This is so Sicilian. I get the colloquio.

And my affirmation is, Fuck you. Watch this.

Hmm.

So in my head, before I'm nervous for anything, I think about all the people that want me to fail. And in my head, I say, Fuck you. Watch this. And then I go and I do it.

You know what that's actually doing? You're feeling the feeling of being like, I already won. And that's actually manifestation to before you do it, sit in the feeling of it already went the way you wanted. I also find when you put too much pressure on yourself, and if you're like, This is life and death. If I do badly, I can't function. If I do great, I'll be the greatest ever. That is not good either. It's more just like, I'm the shit. I'm doing what I do. This isn't going to make or break me. This isn't going to make me a good person, a bad person.

This isn't going to change anything in my life.

If you're happy before, you'll be happy after. If you're unhappy before, you'll be happy after. That's really my own shit.

But also when you're with the wrong person and you feel even more that it's life or death because when you don't have someone to go home to that will comfort you.

Also, Eileen Gu said something that I related to a lot. It's a little more stand-up and sportsy, but it's fucking what a good quote. She goes, I practice like I've never won, and I compete like I've never lost.

Wow. So she's fully prepared?

Yeah, and she went to Stanford. Okay.

That's where we lost her. Did you apply to any Ivy League schools?

I I was going to Cornell because that's where my mom went.

Oh, you got in?

Yeah, but they didn't have scholarships, so I went to Wisconsin.

Smart.

Because deep down, I felt like I knew I was going to be an entrepreneur and that the school I went to wasn't going to... Even though I had no idea what entrepreneur.

No one offered me to apply to any of those.

You're going to be so jealous, and this is so cunty of me. I'm a legacy. You You are. Well, when your parent goes to an Ivy, you're a legacy. So the legacy- But are you still if you didn't go? I don't think so, but I was for a moment.

So now, if your daughter went to Wisconsin, they'd be like...

She's a legacy.

Me and my mom went to the same high school.

And it's still...

And it's still there. It's still happening. It's still popping.

Final, final question of the Marching band jackets are predicted to be trending in 2026. Yes or no? Yes. And that is the end of our podcast.

And that's your daily dose. See you next time.

Thank you for giggling with us. We love you so much. Send us good vibes for me shooting the special this weekend. Paige is on Netflix for the actor awards, and we need all your positive vibes.

There's not enough beta bloggers in the world.

We love you so much. Bye.