Transcript of Giggling about anxiety, hockey, and tiaras

What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix the WiFi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me. Breaking news. Sorry. Us Weekly just did an article about me getting UTIs. Like, what?

No, no, they didn't.

I just commented it and said, Guys, What the fuck? As if I just announced I have a chronic illness.

Debilitating health issue.

Like, what the fuck? I can't. Why? Someone comments and goes, Obviously, she's having a lot of sex.

I feel like I need a comment.

I'm going to be like, Okay, Hippa. No, literally.

I wrote, Okay, Hippa.

It looks like I died in a car accident.

Also, then people say TMI Why? It's like, That was on our private podcast.

That was private for my closest 200,000 friends. Like, please stop.

That was in our private diary that we post.

Sometimes people pick things up. I'm like, that's so violating. I wrote that in my diary.

Okay, back to our scheduled programming. Hello, my gold metal gigglers. It had to be said. It had to be said. You're all the way in California right now.

I'm all the way in California right now. And let me just say one thing, and this might be a controversial, but you know when you have to do a fun fact about you, or you're out on a date, and it's like people are like, I love traveling. In theory, totally. I love traveling. But actually, I hate it. I get on one flight, and I get off the flight, and I'm constipated. My stomach exploded. My head hurts. I need to go lay in a bed. If you go on vacation with me and you have plans for the day that we land, I'm not your friend. I'm in LA. I don't technically have to be in LA till Wednesday, but I'm like, No, I need two days to get it together. I need to acclimate. Actually, I hate traveling.

Well, travel is annoying because when you finally get to your place you're trying to go, you haven't actually done anything. So you feel like a lazy piece of shit because you've just been sitting on planes. But emotionally, traveling is difficult. I mean, you guys, occasionally I have to run in heels. But my traveling faux pas was I was on American Airlines, lost, scared. Yeah, who knows? You know I'm a Delta girl. I was in D, 3D. I'll just say D. I assume D was by the window because I'm a woman in stem. A, B, C, D.

And Delta, it is by the window.

Sit down.

I digress.

Also, this is just...

Alphabetic.

The alphabet was made a long time ago. We had nothing to do with it. Yeah. I don't question the L a bit. Yeah. I'm not changing the alphabet.

Wait, do you know that they actually did change the alphabet song in school.

Why?

I don't know. If you walk into any middle school right now and they're learning the alphabet, it is not at the same cadence in which we learned the alphabet.

But that shit was my jam. A, B, C, D, E, M, J.

Do you remember actually in third grade when they would make up songs to learn multiplication?

I feel like that was something that was helping you during a difficult time.

Okay. I ate and I ate and I got sick on the floor because 8 times 8 is 64. That's why I'm ringing a bell. Got it. Okay, never mind.

No, Paige needed a little cute song to remember her math, which tracks.

No, I literally did.

No, but I'm sitting my ass in D, and a very nice lady is like, Sorry, you're in my seat. Now, one thing about me is I never assume I'm right. Never. Because then it would be a rough life.

At the end of the day, I'm probably wrong.

So I'm like, Oh, I must be in the wrong row. Look up. It goes A-C-D-F. So then I stop and I say, I'm sorry, but actually this This is the system is wrong. There's a bigger injustice happening here.

If I had a nickel. If I had a goddamn nickel.

I'm just a girl who has been taken advantage of by whatever this letter, riddle is.

Let us It's right.

She's like, You can stay there. But look, I know that people, when they want a window, they want a window. I said, Ma'am, no, you deserve the window. I have to pee anyways. I'm going in the aisle. It's all good. Then I'm doing my thing, and At the end of the flight, she goes like, Hey, just wanted you know, my sister is a big giggler. I started laughing, and I was like, Did you tell her? I took your seat. She goes, Yeah. The giggler said, Hannah's really bad at admin, and she's a Delta girl, so that tracks.

Hannah actually doesn't know where she is.

She was like, How does she know that about you? I was like, Does she...

It's a giggler thing. It's common knowledge. We're all just out here. Everyone knows.

I have a new obsession.

Which is?

When I'm on the road, I need to watch something, and I hyperfixate on things. I realize I have a problem. I'll hyperfixate on meals. I hyperfixate on shows.

You want to know what? You are correct in yourself, where you say you could never do drugs. You'd get upset dressed with one drug.

If I smoked one cigarette, by next week, I'd be like, 'Welcome to Giggly Squad.

' You'd be that TikTok. What's that TikTok where it's like, we moved to the... We worked at the Palm or Casino, something. I can... Whatever. Keep going. I have no thoughts. I have no brain.

No, you just got off a plane. I don't know how you're functioning. So I... Look, it's a little embarrassing because I'm very late to the game. It's not that I haven't seen it before. I just haven't been locked in. I'm addicted to RuPaul's Drag Race.

Really? Wait, where are you even watching it? On Amazon?

Do you know what happened? I was in a casino in Oklahoma.

And that'll happen to you.

And I said, you know...

How come no one ever talks about casinos then in Oklahoma?

Well, how come no one ever talks about how Oklahoma has this Ozempic little end to it that no one lives on But they just fought for it. They were like, That's our land. Do you know the end of Oklahoma?

No. Why the fuck would I know the end of Oklahoma?

Sorry. Back in the day, I worked for a company that you had to know the state's shapes, and it was... I wish I didn't. But I digress. I just put on TV, and MTV had RuPaul's Drag Race playing. And there was something so nostalgic about turning on MTV because I remember feeling naughty when I was little. Like, watching MTV, I'd be like, I'm such a teenager. And I start watching it, I'm in. I'm immediately invested. Because this is the thing about RuPaul's Drag Race. It's Project Runway combined with... They're doing their own fucking glam, but America's Next Step Model. But America's Next Step Model, where they do their own stuff. Plus, it's a comedy show. They're doing routines. They're doing gags.

They're doing bits.

And they're so mean to each other because they're men, so they get over it really quick. So they'll just say the most fucked up shit, and then they're fine. And then there's so much heart to it because they're always just like, learn to love yourself, which everyone can learn from. And I am locked in on season 12 right now. I've watched eight episodes in the last two days.

It's still going on, though, right?

Yeah, because there's a current season.

I think it's one of the longest running shows. I feel like it's been on for 20 years.

You would love it.

I know. I can't believe I've never watched a full season. I've watched random episodes before, but I've never sat down and watched a season from start to finish.

They are so funny, and I think I didn't fully realize how the pop culture starts there. The words they're saying in 2020 is what you see the Gen Z saying in 2023. They invented culture. They are so fucking funny.

Like Slay?

Yeah.

They came up with that. There's a lot of words that they came up with.

Also, Do you know high fashion designers watch RuPaul's Drag Race for inspiration because they're just so creative? But they don't even talk about it. They're just like, Okay, make your own outfit and do glam. It's a two-minute edit. I'm just blown away by it.

It's funny that you brought up MTV because I saw a girl make this video, and she was like, I'm married, I'm in my 30s, and I'm so petrified to have a child. And she was like, And I think it's because when I was at a very prime age, I was turning on MTV and I was watching 16 and pregnant. And that was truly our version of scared straight.

Yes.

I still, in my heart I'm like, I can't get pregnant. I'm on the cheerleading team. How can I have a baby and still be the flyer?

The men were so horrible. They'd be like, I don't want a baby. I don't want to be here. I'm not showing up to the date. The worst is.

It was such an unhinged television that at 12, I'm locked in. I'm like, something's going on with Farah and her mom. Can't figure it out. Just to only realize that years and years later, I will still think about these people.

Maybe Maybe they have to make one for smoking. So the kids these days stop smoking. It's very upsetting to me. If I see another it girl with a cigarette, I'll lose my mind. Wait. I'm very upset about it.

Are you? Because I feel like I keep seeing it, too. And I'm like, This feels very like, look, I'm no angel. I love a drunk cig. I prefer a drunk cig in Europe because I feel like that doesn't count. If you smoke cigarettes in Europe, it's like you're on vacation.

Yeah.

I couldn't tell you, genuinely, I can't tell you the last time I had a drunk cigarette in the United States because I'm so grossed out by them. But it is so interesting that now they're in campaigns and-In girls' dumps.

This generation is obsessed with esthetic, and they're obsessed with trends. So one cool girl posts her with a cigarette, then all these girls are going to do it. I don't know. It's It's not worth it. I don't know why, what they're trying to say, I'm bad. I don't know. I never understood that.

Especially because I would credit Gen Z with not over-consuming alcohol. Because they're high.

They're in a fucking smoke chain or whatever they call it.

No, I actually think Gen Z is almost better with substances than millennials because when I was in my When I was 23 to 26, I was blacked out every single weekend. I didn't have a skincare routine. I didn't do that stuff. I didn't know. I think there are good things about Gen Z, but the smoking thing It is interesting.

Yeah.

Wait.

Yeah.

So obviously, we talked about America's Next Top Model, and I literally couldn't stop thinking about it. And I'm just like, I see all these clips on TikTok. And then the other day, I'm watching Lincoln Lawyer, which is my new obsession. I actually just finished it on Netflix.

We have such different taste in TV. I saw Lincoln Lawyer. I was like, boring.

Obsessed love. Love the main character. I'm like, No, I'm.

I haven't clicked on it.

You know what it is? I love a strong man in a suit. I'm sorry if that sounds misogynistic. I feel not feminists saying, I love a strong man in a suit.

Yeah, a strong man in a suit gives me fucking agita. I don't like that at all.

So I'm watching it, and there's one of the characters, she's the prosecutor, and I'm staring at her, and I'm like, I know this woman. How do I know this woman? And now my new thing is rather than when I don't know something and just immediately looking it up on Google, I try and use my brain. I'm like, no, I know it. Let me find it in there. Don't try to be a hero.

Let me just sit and think and see if I can figure it out.

I'm literally sitting on the couch. Now my eyes are closed. I'm like, let me just hear her voice and see if I can place her.

You I started channeling spirits.

I'm like, I know this person. How do I know this person? All of a sudden it clicks. She was on America's Next Top model. Her name was Yaya. I ended up looking her up on Google. She has a Because I was like, I've seen her in other TV shows. I know her as an actress. In my head, I was like, She's an actress, but what are the other things I've watched her in? Then it clicks to me, she's on America's Next Top Model. She was not in the documentary, but she's a perfect example, her and Eva, of someone who did cross over and make the pivot.

There's also America's Next Top Model, an actress that played in Crazy Stupid Love. She played the babysitter in Crazy stupid love.

She was on America's Next Top Model? Mm I didn't know that. And then, obviously, I'm watching more clips of America's Next Top Model and girls talking about it on TikTok and stuff. And one of the things that I think is different than other reality shows where there's judges, the judges were on a reality show with each other. There are so many clips of people saying some of the most racist things you've ever heard in your life, and Tyra turning her head and being like, what? Where typically, I feel like when you watch a TV show, and even us, if we've ever been on another TV show where we've done... Even going on another podcast, There is a sense of we're both on the same page because we're performing for the viewer, where that show, the judges were just saying anything. No wonder, Tyra, flicked out at some point. Some people were saying unhinged things, and it's her show. So I feel like people are talking about that enough that the judges were trying to make things even more controversial, which you don't... If you watch Project Run I. The judges aren't fighting with each other for real.

They're on the same page. They're the judges.

American Idol, they would fight. Like, fake fight, but not offensive.

I feel like that was Simon Cowell's character. It was like he was the asshole. There's a character for each person.

Speaking of assholes, I'm watching the Gordon Ramsey documentary on Netflix, which I do have to say, I'm a huge Gordon Ramsey fan. I don't support any of the verbal abuse that he does, but I overall like a grumpy old man. I don't know why. I just can't look away. Kitchen Nightmare was my favorite thing. He does employ a ton of people and help a lot of small businesses, but I digress. It's a very boring documentary. It's basically... It's like one... He's just promoting a new restaurant he's trying to open. It's a little Victoria Beckham-esque where they're just pushing one of the things they're promoting. Except Victoria Beckham was more interesting. No, but her documentary I'm not sure he was promoting- You said it yourself. You said it yourself.

That's where I draw the line. Okay, Nikola, don't come on to this podcast, and think you're going to talk about Victoria Beckham like that. No, I do wish it- Did you just call me Nikola? Who's that? Nikola is the daughter-in-law. Keep up.

But that's ultimately why I think I love RuPaul's Drag Race so much is that it's not entertaining because people are mean, even though people are mean on it. It's funny. It's comedy. Everyone's laughing at themselves. And at the end of the day, it's about love and acceptance and loving your neighbor and loving yourself. So anyway, with that said, not happy with men's hockey.

Tell, because I'm like, Sure. Yeah, for sure. I hate them, too.

Basically, they win. The President calls them. Well, actually, the FBI, head of FBI, is drunk with them on speakerphone. He had better things to do. Yeah, he's partying with the men's hockey team.

In Italy?

In Italy, in the locker room. They're all drunk.

I feel like there's a lot of problems going on here in the Americas.

And they're not in the champagne in the locker room in Milan. I'll tell you that right now. Seeing all the men celebrating, and then a man be like, Let me show you. I know the President. And then get the President on the phone and the President being like, I'm going to fly you guys everywhere. I'm going to I'm going to treat you great. I'm going to fly you here with everyone. And then he's like, And I'm going to have to invite the woman's team, or I'll probably get impeached. And I'm not even mad. The guys laughed. Some of them were probably assholes. Some might have just been nervous. And it was a subtle jab. It hurts so much because that's what we actually deal with every day. It's not a big, aggressive. It's the subtle things that people say. The woman's hockey team, by the way, they've been more consistent than the men's hockey team. Been winning a medal—I did the math—since 1998. And these women get paid 30 to 50K. Now they're at 80K, but they had to have multiple jobs. They had to raise their children. They had no resources. They had no assistance.

They're on their fucking period. They're fighting the patriarchy, and they're still succeeding.

Wait, is the men... Sorry for...

Yeah, I'm not a big hockey fan either, but...

Someone did a I think it was Caleb Aaron, where he was like, I wish they had a talk show and it had one person that knew nothing about sports that could ask the question, which I get that's so smart. Question, the guys that are on the men's Olympic hockey team for the United States of America, are they all on professional teams year round?

They're the best Americans in the NHL. And the NHL is making millions of dollars.

So their only job is hockey? Yes. And they lose every year.

The women are We're in a small league. And by the way, not to name drop, but the captain of the USA women's team, who's one of the greatest of all time, Hillary Knight, played at the University of Wisconsin, Golbiadjars, when I was there. And the women's hockey team won every national championship when I was there, and the men's team didn't. So I just remember thinking these girls were so badass because they're playing a sport while skating. It's like, think of basketball, but skating. It's crazy. But the thing is, they love the game so much. They are not doing it for the money. I don't know what they're doing it for because it's fucking hard. They love it in the sport. But they're doing it for some fucking respect. And I'm glad the WMBA is there, Women's tennis is there. Hockey's next because I don't like it. Yeah.

It's just such a...

It's boys club.

But that truly is every day. Okay, I guess the girls. Yeah, the girls can do it, too. This is not a perfect example, but the only thing I can think of is when I was younger and I would be playing a game with my older brother, my older cousins, and there were any younger cousins, we would always be like, They don't count. Sure, you guys can play, but it doesn't actually count in the real score, which my little cousins would get so mad. We count. We're like, Okay, you don't. But that is truly what it's like being an adult woman.

Little cousins Olympians are people, too.

Yeah, they're people, too. They're in their 20s now, so I consider them people.

I also don't want to be the bud of a joke by the people making decisions about our rights.

And now we saw that. Period. Period? No pun intended. Fucking period.

Get period all over the ice next time.

I hate everyone.

I'm just really proud of all the female Olympians. I mean, Alyssa Lou. Shout out to my girl. Did you not see Alyssa Lou?

I have no idea what you're talking about. The girl with- Again, it's sports, and I'm so proud of the girls, but it's sports. So I'm probably not tuning in.

Okay, so Alyssa Lou- And I'm proud of them, though. Alyssa Lou, when she was 16, was a world champion, and she was doing everything- In what? In what? In ice skating, and she's doing everything she's supposed to do. She's eating how she's supposed to eat. She's putting her hair the way they want her to do their hair, and she's just being psychotic. She then decides, Fuck this, I'm quitting. World champion at 16, quitting. Two years later, she was on a ski trip with some friends and realized, This is actually fun. Imagine if I had fun with ice skating like I'm doing now. And she has this epiphany Where she's like, I'm so talented. If I approach it differently mentally and I see it as just an expression of my art that I'm grateful that I can express to the world, I'll do it again. And she calls her coach and she's like, I want to come back. And the coach is like, No, you hate this. This isn't a good fit. You don't want to do this. And she begs him. She comes back. She wears what she wants. She dyes her hair in these halos, they call them.

And the people there are like, You can't have your hair like that. And she's like, Go fuck yourself. And she goes on and gives the most incredible performance.

Why would there be a rule about hair? Because they're fucking crazy because they want to control women and how they look.

How you look should not affect how you're rated in your performance. But ice skating is still ballet where it's like, is she thin enough? Is she beautiful enough? So this girl says, fuck you. But she's so confident and in love with herself that she's so beautiful. And she skates the most amazing skate. And all the other girls, she's like, hugging. And there was just this camaraderie of girlhood. I'm in her incredible.

I'm in her incredible. No, seriously. Exactly.

The top man, the top ice-skating man, Ilea, had so much pressure on him. There's a lot of reasons. I don't know why that it happened, but when he goes for his skate, he fell three times, and he didn't get a medal.

Oh, I actually saw that.

And he said, watching Alyssa inspired him to treat the sport differently.

Honestly, I still think about Simone Biles when she did her documentary and she called her mom and was like, I'm doing it. And the mom was like, And don't do it. You really have to have that mentality with certain things. Honestly, the fact that I'm doing the SAG Awards on Sunday... Well, actually, sorry, the actor awards. I've been so anxious because I'm like, Oh, my God. It's on Netflix. So many people are going to be watching. If I mess up, even for a second, that's all people are going to say. Her mouth doesn't move or she's stupid. I don't know. They're just running through my head. And And then today, when I was on the plane, I was like, Oh, who cares? You've wanted to do this since you were literally six years old. You're now getting to do it, and you're going to be scared the whole fucking time. You love your dress. You flew out your hair and makeup. I literally flew out my glam because I was like, I don't want to use LA glam people because I need to be around people that I'm with every single day so that when I'm on the red carpet and I look over that I see Taylor Fitzgerald specifically.

I need to see her face. That actually just really helped me, that girl being like, I'm just going to have fun with it. I mean, obviously, I'm going to take a beta blocker. I'm not a psycho.

You're like, I'm also going to be numb. I always say people don't remember what you say. They remember how you made them feel. When you do the public speaking, as just all the girls, advice with public speaking, it's you actually being in the moment and not judging yourself in the moment and trying to be in that flow state, which is hard to get to, but it ultimately is doing what you love. This is so stupid sports related, but Djokovitch is the best tennis player of all time. And he was like, I just love hitting the ball. And that like...

And that's the man I like. I'm like, Yeah, speak your truth and dumb it down.

But the truth is, when I played tennis, I was thinking about winning. I was thinking about all these things. I wasn't thinking that I loved hitting the ball. I actually didn't like hitting the ball because it represented fear and bad things to me. But now, podcasting, going on stage, it is what I love to do. And when you love something, love overrides everything, which leads me to my next point. We love a segue. People are mad at me.

For?

The way I pronounce anxiety.

Anxiety?

Apparently, it's anxiety, and I say anxiety, anxiety, anxiety.

Say it again. I have to close my eyes.

I have anxiety.

I don't hear it, but I love you.

I know. Thank you. I love you so much. I think it's just New York that I say it that way.

You almost add a G into it.

Yeah, and they were like... I literally got a message. They were like, Hannah, I love everything about you, except It's anxiety. It's not anxiety. And I said this would give me anxiety because now I'm going to overthink. It gives me anxiety now.

We say a lot of things wrong.

Also, people were asking me, and I didn't want to tell them because I want to protect the gigglers from any harm. But they said, Is Paige doing your spray tan? And I didn't want to have to tell them that you chose your career over my career.

Here we are again. I'll be the villain in your story because I'm trying to put food on the table for my cat. For your cat. When are you taping it? I'm away. Yeah, sorry.

Saturday.

Are you getting a spray tan?

Oh, my God. I feel like I'm on RuPaul's Drag Race. I have to get a spray tan. I have to get a dermaplane facial, which you have to do before the spray tan because then it takes off the spray tan. And the dermaplane makes my makeup look better, apparently. Also, I have to get my nails done because the blue's grown out. Died my hair. Honestly, I have to do a whole fucking-Being a woman is insane. It's American's last model.

It's literally why I had to fly into LA days early. I'm like, Well, I have to get a facial. Then I have to get my Then I need to... I'm also getting a massage the night before that's a calming massage.

First, you have to get the muscle relax, then you have to get the spa. I have to get Reiki.

I have to see an energy healer. I have a lot to do.

I'm talking to my psychic tomorrow.

Yeah, you have to. I'm sorry. It's hard that you're preparing.

Sorry. I'm preparing emotionally, spiritually, physically. Also, no offense, but male comedians will play MSG, wake up from a nap, and their hair will be sticking up in the from the nap. And it'll be...

That's that. Maybe if the men's hockey team prioritized anything, they'd win more often. It's not our fault.

Don't take it out on us. Anyway, the women's hockey team, you're invited to hang up.

I'm like, Where are we going with them? You can come to any gayly squad show you want. We can support you.

Also, I stirred up a little controversy again. I posted my photos of me being sweaty, and it got like... It was really funny.

Wait, I saw this. I was like, what are these weird screenshots? Also, are you doing an ask me anything on the plane? I'm like, who is this person?

Grace messaged me and was like, hey, how are you? And I said, great. And she's like, doesn't seem that way because you're doing an ask me anything on the plane.

I was like, someone's got to check on me. No, literally.

What was I saying?

You just had a page moment. Isn't it so jarring? No, I like... You're like, I'm speaking. And then all of a sudden, your brain just goes... You're like, I don't know.

What was I saying? Oh, my controversy. So again, my arch-nemesis, threads. After bullying My grandma. This is a problem with threads. We don't know we're on threads, but Instagram puts you on threads.

Some girl did a whole video on threads about me the other day of one of our podcast clips, and I was like, That's not even what that clip was about. I'm like, I can't do thread. I had a blocker because I was like, I don't-My sweat photos go on threads, and then I keep getting these weird notifications, and I'm like, If I have any notifications on threads, it's not good.

It's never a good thing.

I don't even know how to get to notifications on threads.

Keep it that way. I will throw my phone into the subway. So it turns out people I think because I said something like... Well, I was like, someone needs a new... I said someone needs a new deodorant or something.

Yeah.

All the comments thought I was bullying a girl. So everyone's like, How dare you make fun of this woman?

Everyone is bullying me for bullying myself.

Hannah? And that's the epitome of the Internet. Bullying me for bullying myself as a result bullying me.

How dare you talk to a woman like that.

I was quadruple bullied. And then the gigglers are jumping in being like, Hey, this is her. She's making fun of herself. And people are like, If you ever speak about another woman this way, you're disgusting and vile. And then people are like, That's just Hannah calling herself disgusting and viral. Which, by the way, it is not disgusting to sweat. It means my body is detoxing, and we know everyone wants a detox.

Oh, my God. Also, check any girls' comments on her Instagram. It's people just being insane. The That is so scary. That's why you have to find your niche.

Yeah, the Internet is in a weird low right now, I do have to say.

Yeah. I find myself get going off of TikTok and Instagram because I'm like, Wait, Some people are like, it's actually like, it's scary. It's why I started reading. I'm like, you all forced me to pick up a goddamn book. That's when you know the country has gone awry. Page is at home reading. She's trying to fill her time. She's I'm trying to get hobbies. I love scrolling.

Someone wrote, Getting people to defend you and trash you at the same time is a skill that needs to be studied. And then someone goes, I love that everyone rush to defend you from yourself bullying. I'm out. I'm tapping out.

I'm tapping out. I'm like, it's not for me anymore. It's so crazy.

Also, my marriage is...

On the Rocks?

On the Rocks because I found out my husband doesn't I like Feta, which I thought was a non-controversial cheese. Feta is like...

It's universal.

It's not too stinky. It's not too bland. It's just like, I thought Feta... I didn't know there was an option not to like feta.

Look, I'm a rider die for Italian food.

I thought you were going to say, I'm a rider. I get him feta.

I should actually add it. I think Italian food is the best food of any cuisine of anything. There are a few things that the Greeks do that I'm like, You nailed it with that one. And feta is one of them.

Give me 17 of them right now.

Baclava is another one of them. But the feta, I'll put it on my skin if I feel like I'm having a rough day.

Also the texture. I don't mind a person who's like, Oh, I don't like aguda. It's like they're uncouth. But to not- Even a brie.

I'm like, And it's not for everyone.

But I love a brie. And if you don't... But it's okay because I know it's a certain palate. Totally. I ordered an omelet with feta and tomatoes, which is my new thing. I highly recommend people to try it. And he was like, No, it's okay. I don't like feta. And there's something about being in a marriage for... What are we at? Four years when you learn something new four years in. Oh my God.

Wait, that seems crazy. You've been married for four years.

He's officially the longest guy I've ever been with, which this is what's weird about getting married is sometimes you marry a guy and he's not the longest relationship you've been in up to that point. Anyway, that's what's going on currently in my relationship.

So anyway, that's what's going on with you.

You know what relationship people don't talk enough about? Rose Byrne and Bobby Carnavale. I don't know how to say his last name. Do you know who I'm talking about?

I do.

You love Bobby Carnavale.

Wait, let me Google him really quickly because I do know who you're talking about.

They're together. I don't think they're married, which is so fucking chic, but I think they have kids together. Yeah, of course I do. Why don't people talk about them more? I Who love them.

Do they have kids together? He was... Oh, who is this? He was married and divorced. He is hot.

I know. I knew you'd love him.

And you want to know what makes me love him even more?

Yeah.

He is with a funny woman. Takes a strong, strong man to be with a funny woman. Well, actually, it takes a strong man to be with a woman who is...

Beautiful and funny and talented, like Rose Burns.

Well, the center of attention. Okay, perfect example is you said her name, and I'm like, Yeah, I know exactly who it is. You said his name, and I was like, I think I know, but let me Google it really quickly. I feel being with a funny woman who's quick-witted and can add to the conversation, if you're not a strong man, that will make you so insecure.

Well, what I realized with funny women is if we make you laugh, if we make a guy giggle, it means sometimes they feel like we tricked them because comedy comes from the unexpected. So they feel like we outsmarded them. And then suddenly they're giggling and they're like, What happened? Like, they lost control of the conversation. So when a guy can hear until that.

Yeah, because men feel like if you're commanding a room in terms of jokes. Two men, and I hate when men say this word, but two men, it comes off like, you're the alpha, and they can't have that. Certain men can't have that.

The loudest man in the room is normally has the smallest penis.

And a lot of men think that when they are going to get married, they are going to be the alpha in their relationship, and you're going to be submissive. And if you're in an opposite relationship, men can't handle it.

I love a quiet, sturdy man. Also, I don't- Shut the fuck up.

Yeah. Talk when it's your part. Talk when it's a topic that you know a lot about. And if it's not funny jokes, then show your mouth.

It might ask me anything because I'm an ask me anything influencer now. I honestly was on a fucking high. I had a coffee and I was like- You're like, Let me bang this out.

It was literally you. That was your equivalent to being in finance. You're like, Let me just snort this out or I'll bang out all these questions.

How many did you actually read?

Like four. I had a quick through. I know you, though. I know everything about you. I wasn't learning anything new. I did stop at the one where someone was like, Your favorite lip bomb. I was like, Oh, she fucking loves this lip I'm like, I knew. I'm like, I knew you saw that question. You were like, been waiting for someone to ask.

You are so sick of me, but you love me so much. It must be a crazy double feeling. I'm obsessed with you. So someone told me that on her first date with a guy, she had a panic attack, and he didn't know what to do. Or first vacation, he had a panic attack, didn't know what to do. And she was like, What should I do with him? Now look, would I love to tell everyone to break up with their boyfriend all the time? And do we do that a lot? Yes. However, context matters. Okay, what were you saying?

I don't know why that even reminds me of it.

What was I saying? Who am I?

Honestly, it's important.

You love getting me all riled up about something. Right before I say it, you go, Quick right turn.

Because I know if I don't say it, I'll literally forget.

I said, she was like, he didn't handle my panic attack well.

Yeah.

As girls with anxiety. I think... Sorry, that sounded mean, but I wasn't trying to be mean. I'm Anyway, I feel like sometimes men do not understand anxiety, and you can't get mad at someone for not understanding it because men truly understand anger is the only emotion. And when it's anything else, they get very like, What's happening? Give him an opportunity to understand your culture.

Welcome to my world. Let me show you.

If you do have a panic attack in front of a guy and he deals with it great, I think that's your husband.

If a guy is truly into you, there is nothing that you can do that will turn them off. I think you should have a panic attack on the first date. Because it's like, if you can handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best. It's a very true- Man, the Monroe.

Did Man, the Monroe actually say that one?

I don't think so.

Wait, did you see, speaking of icons, Audrey Hepburn has been cast?

Lily Collins.

Which I feel like we said that. Did you fucking tell your team to submit you? What the fuck happened?

Well, Lily Collins is a respected actress.

Well, Well, her father's still Collins.

I could tell that Lily Collins was gunning for an Audrey Hepburn role way before Emily in Paris because her style... I could tell, by the way, she was posting on Instagram that it was very Audrey Hepburn coded, and she does look similar to her. So I felt in my... I was like, I know one day she's going to play her. So I'm actually... I'm glad it's her because I feel like you're watching a lot of...

You're too 10.

I I'm honestly too Italian to play her. I feel like you do watch a lot of biopics where you're like, Okay, that person looks nothing like the celebrity.

Where you're like, That's Brad Pitt. I can't imagine.

I'm like, This is not the vibe, where I feel like Lily Collins is the perfect cast for it.

Well, speaking of celebrity, stories, have you watched Love Story? Of course. What are your thoughts? Because I feel like everyone's watching it right now. I'm two episodes in.

Usually, I would have a lot of thoughts on a TV show about celebrities. For whatever reason, it's not that I feel icky watching it because I love it. I'm obsessed. I'm all caught up. I watch it right when it comes out. But I feel like the fact that she didn't like the spotlight so much, I almost feel bad. I'm almost like, Wait, would she have hated this show? But I also think it's an incredible story of JFK Jr. He was one of the most famous people in the world. Their family was the most famous in the world. I can't think of the actress's name that played Jackie Kennedy, but she had some line in one of the episodes where it was like, The Public has... What was the quote? The Public has, in one hand, they're ready to praise you, and in the other hand, they're ready to throw a stone at And it's just so true because I feel like that's how he felt. I feel like people were all up in his shit all the time.

Yeah.

And I feel... I don't know. I felt bad for them.

When he didn't pass the bar and the guy was like, it doesn't matter that everyone thinks you're an idiot. How do you feel about yourself? And it's so easy to say, don't care what other people think. But when everyone's pointing at you being like, you fucking idiot, at some point you're going to be like, because I'm an idiot. I do think it was interesting casting. He was very... He's not really... I think this is one of his first projects and he's just a gorgeous man.

They cast him two weeks before they started filming.

Really?

Because I did- I think they're both very good actors.

I felt like she was way stronger.

Yeah, I think she's really good. And people being like, Oh, she doesn't... I just said Lily Collins looks like Audrey Hepburn. People are like, Oh, she doesn't really look like Caroleyn Beset. See, I think she does.

She does. I think Sarah Pigeon's a star. I couldn't get my eyes off of her. Also, I love Calvin Klein in the '90s, the style of it all.

Wait, hold on. But Calvin Klein is gay.

I guess he had a wife, if I had a nickel.

No. And this is what I'm talking about. I'm like, Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You knew, though. You knew. There's no way you didn't know.

She got free Calvin Klein. You would do it, too. You've done it.

I have. I'm tired.

Speaking of fashion, this feels like made up because the fashion industry is like, We're running out of animal's print. And they're like, We're doing Bambi. We're doing Deer Chic now. We're doing fawn print. They're going to do squirrels next.

Sorry, it's fawn February. Get into it.

It's just such a marketing ploy. Yeah, I do actually love it. It looks cute, but they're literally going to be like, And it's raccoon march.

I saw a raccoon the other day on the street, literally trying to domesticate its own self.

Oh, they have thumbs.

No, literally, someone was like, Wait, I feel like this raccoon shouldn't be awake right now. It's 11: 00 AM in the morning. I was that person. The world is ending. I was like, Mom, I feel like that raccoon has rabies because I'm pretty sure they're nocturnal. But anyway.

You're like, that raccoon just called Uber Eats? I don't think it's normal.

That raccoon just rang the doorbell. He's like, I want to come in. Wait, what were we just talking about? Because I was going to say something before you brought the raccoon. Bambi Corp. Oh. As someone who also loves, I love trying a trend. I actually like the Bambi-like thing. My The thing is, one item of clothing will go viral, and then every influencer will have it. And I'm like, Yeah, are we on an email list? How did you get it so fast? Who even makes it? What is that brand? And here I'm an influencer. I should know. But I'm like, Where did you guys all get this jacket?

Well, yeah, you'll see something you like, and then you realize everyone's already worn it. Yeah.

And so then I'm like, Okay, well, let me just see where it is. And then you go on. It's pre-order. And it's like, Okay, well, I don't want the jacket in June. The trend will be over.

Or it's like, It'll be over. $1,000 for something that's not on.

The internet is weird. Everyone's weird.

What do you think about hair tucking? People being like, It's really cool to put a jacket and keep your hair tucked in.

The Mary Kate and Ashley Olson tuck has been trending for 10 years.

Yeah, and also you get a full bob.

I'm really confused on why everyone's like, Oh, my God, the hair tuck.

Because they'll make anything into an esthetic. Leave Bambi out of this. Well, you know what also is trending? The everyday tiara. So girls just wearing tiaras on a Tuesday for no reason, in different... Fashion week, apparently, it was a thing. Which I'm not going to take away from Women's Joy. I missed that. I feel like it's something you would do.

Yeah.

I actually- You've done.

I'm actually been waiting for this to come on trend, and I didn't know that it was happening. And now I need to go on Amazon because that is so something I could get down with.

Well, did you see Hailey Bieber's most recent cover shoot where her hair was purposely unbrush and like, nodded?

Yeah. You were like, It's my time to show. Yes.

Or I was like, Okay, copyright infringement.

Okay, so I'm a style icon. Actually, I'm timeless. Also, one of the funny things about the Caroleyn Busset, Oh, my God, dress like Caroleyn Busset.

Oh, yeah.

Which obviously, yes, she has great style, but her style isn't trendy. I would say she's the least trendy person ever. She truly was the epitome of a fashion girl that worked at a brand, but her outfits had to be muted because it was about the other clothes.

Yes.

But people on TikTok get so like, I can't believe girls are making videos about Caroleyn Bacet's style. It's like, you can't do anything as a woman. You can't like it. You can't dislike it. You can't try and dress like it. You can't It's so crazy.

You can't win a gold medal.

No. You can't do anything as a woman. You truly cannot. There will always be someone yelling at you. And most of the time it is Another Woman, which is really upsetting to me.

Girl on Girl crime.

Anywho.

I have a gripe to bring up.

Okay.

Actually, I have a petition.

Actually, I have a bill that I need passed.

I have a bill. Let's stop putting hand soap next to hand lotion.

In public?

In public bathrooms, in hotel bathrooms. How many times do you go to wash your hand, and you click the hand and you click the hand lotion? Also, who's using hand lotion in these airport bathrooms?

I'm going to disagree with you on this because the moment I got a guest bathroom, the minute I said, Oh, this guest bathroom is going to be so fucking cool. I've got soap, I've got hand lotion, I've got skincare. You come to my apartment, you go in the guest bathroom, you're never leaving. You're not leaving. You're stealing all the things I have in there.

Nothing ruins my day more than realizing I'm washing my hands with lotion. And then I not only wasted lotion, but now I have sperm texture on my hands.

You and my mom are very similar. I gave my mom a bunch of products one day, and she was like, I'm using this one product, but it's really drying me out. And I'm like, Well, how are you using it? And she's like, Well, I'm just putting it on, and then it's drying me out. And I'm like, Well, maybe because that's a face wash and not a lotion, mother. And you're putting it on, and then it's drying because it's a soap.

You're like, Kim, that's hydrogen peroxide. Can you just put it in your eye?

I'm like, Well, why don't you just read the label? So my thing to you is, why don't you just read the goddamn label?

Because they make it look too... First of all, I'm always in a rush. I'm always rushing. And they make it... Put it in red, blinking lights. The aesthetic's always the same. Their next... At least put them... I don't know, put it somewhere else, where I can't reach it. Because I inevitably will always... It's like when you take conditioner accidentally and you start trying to put it as shampoo. Do you never do that?

Never. Never. No.

So this is a daily thing for me. I was, oh, my God. Never.

Because you want to know what? In my shower, one row is just shampoo. The other row is just my conditioners. Then I have... So everything has a row. Everything has a home.

It's giving American Psycho.

Yeah. No, sometimes I think I could have a little... People could be right. I could have something a little bit wrong with me in my brain.

Do you have Virgo in your chart?

I don't. And I saw you post your ask me anything that you have a little Virgo in your chart. And I don't... I didn't see that. Are you on the cusp? Because I don't see that for you. My best friend in high school, one of my best friends in high school, she was a Virgo. And when I tell you her notebook, I've never seen a notebook like this. First of all, her handwriting, spectacular. Her highlighting, her outlines. She went on actually to be a teacher, as she should.

So Virgo's come in all shapes and forms. Tell me, when it comes to my work, Not my personal life, my work. Am I not on the ball?

True.

Responding to emails, having things ready by deadlines. That's where my Virgo comes at.

That's actually very true. You are very on top of your career.

They're also a little obsessive, Virgos. They're detail-oriented. You know how random things I'll be like, I need to get this right.

Yeah. No, you can obsess. I think if you really went to a doctor, you could be diagnosed a little bit with OCD.

No, I fully have OCD. Yeah. N-a-n-a-c-h-a-d-h-d.

And you have a torn ACL.

A torn ACL. Wait, one more thing about Caroline. Yeah. She had to do this character where there's literally only five seconds of footage of Caroline Busset ever talking on camera.

Yeah.

So she had to just read lots of books. So that is also the hard part.

I would assume their families weren't involved, where it's like she couldn't ask.

What would she like? So the accuracy you have to take with a grain of salt for this.

And a lot of people have come out and been like, okay, their love story was actually super toxic.

Yeah. And I'm like, oh, you Stuart, who was on the road with me, told me there's a really good podcast to listen to about the Kennedy men. There's a podcast somewhere. I'll put it in the newsletter about the Kennedy men. And there's there's lore there.

Well, from the show, it really just seemed like JFK Jr. Didn't want to be in politics. It doesn't seem like he wanted to be a lawyer. It actually seems like he liked art And he liked- He wanted to be an actor. Film and TV. Yeah. So that alone makes me sad for him. I couldn't imagine being born into a family, and it's like how the royals do it. Remember when Prince Harry left and everyone was like, death to Prince Harry? And it's like, okay, guys, chill out. He wants to just pick strawberries with his wife.

Also, he had this sad moment where he... Not to be a nepo baby apologist. But he was like, By 26, my dad already had been a war veteran, got his degrees, had kids, all these things.

Jfk Jr. Is saying this?

About his dad. And he's like, And I'm 28 and I have nothing. And it's like, he didn't ask to be put on that, have that- Be pressure. Pressure and expectations. So he feels like a fucking loser, even though he's just living his life.

That's why I do have a little sympathy for Brooklyn Beckham. I do feel a little bit bad for him because I'm like, I wonder what it's like having two of the most famous people in England be your parents for two very specific genres of things. And then people are like, And what do you do? I feel like there's so much pressure.

Because it's not relatable. People don't talk about it, how to raise your kids if you're famous. I don't know. Maybe there's a book that like, Reese Witherspoon is passing around to her friends. But I feel like there's a Google Doc.

That Reese is like, Hold on, here's what you do.

Reese Witherspoon has a Google Doc. She's sending to famous moms on how to raise kids. She's a great example. But it's like, There's no rule book that we know of how to not raise kids who are fucked up. And some of them, just because if they're really successful nepo babies, still doesn't mean they're not fucked up.

I do low-key sometimes feel really bad for certain nepo babies. People are really mean to some more than others. I feel like if you're a nepo baby and no one's heard of you until you literally do what your job is, people are more okay. People are so mean to Haley Bieber, but I feel like it's because they saw her in the press grow up.

People also don't want to see you trying to get your dreams as a neppo baby. No, they don't. They don't want to see you attempting, and they also don't want to see you say, I don't have an advantage from being a neppo baby, which they shouldn't say that stuff, which made me think about hate on Addison Ray. All these people hate neppo babies, but then you also hate people who come from TikTok. So who's allowed to do well?

It's a lose lose.

It's a lose-lose. So what's the right way to come up? You have to wait for a powerful director to pick you randomly out of a hat?

You know what's funny is after we were talking about Cardi B and how she was on reality TV, I literally got served a TikTok clip of one of the male DJs on Love and Hip hop being like, I'll never take Cardi B seriously. And then the edit was her winning her first Grammy.

No, I'm crying again.

It's also like, I do think, not to bring it back to everyone hates women, but I do think people are way harder on female neppo babies than male. Oh, yeah. Who's a male neppo baby? I can't even think of a boy I'm a boop baby right now.

Besides Brooklyn Beckham.

I can't think of... One doesn't immediately pop into my head is what I'm saying. Because people just aren't... Maybe it's not as fun being mean to men on the Internet. I don't know. I find it enjoyable, but I don't...

You're like, We should dabble in it. Maybe try it out. Yeah.

Like, watching some things on the internet where you're like, You're letting him get away with that, that's crazy, because if a girl did that, you would have had her canceled four days ago. She would have been done.

The steak would have been on fire.

Yeah.

Well, on that positive note- And that's all we have for today. We're going to leave you with that, just to think about. Thank you guys so much for giggling with us, and we'll talk to you later this week. Bye.