Transcript of Giggling about Sports Illustrated, friendship breakups, and blondes New

Sup, Gigglers?

Carrie, fix your Wi-Fi.

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. Hello, my glamorous Gigglers. We're on the COVID of Sports Illustrated.

Just kidding. You know, you looked so beautiful. Thank you. Like, truly gorgeous and stunning.

Oh my God, thank you.

And I loved that you were wearing like a men's shirt. It was just so like, you're like, yeah, this is my beach, bitch. Like, that's how it felt.

You have to say, I've been going to Montauk since I was a little girl. Yeah, little girl running around. And it was a cool full circle moment. But I have to say, the only thing that really brings me joy in life is feeding the geckos. I was gonna say feeding the gigglers. Like, I love when they like think they don't think something's coming and then they get to wake up and see something that they didn't expect and they get all jacked up. Like, all I cared about was reading the comments of all the gigglers saying the funniest shit. They just make me laugh so much and I just, I can't believe we have this community of cool girls supporting us.

You know what, something that brings me joy is like when you do something, it feels like I did it too because I'm like, oh, all my exes are so jealous Hannah's in Sports Illustrated. And in my head I'm like, do they care? And I'm like, yeah, they do.

No, they do. Also my Buffalo Wild Wings commercial, you know your exes were mad about that. I know they were mad about it. You know, 'cause you can't think of me without thinking of you.

No, and also like just knowing that like a bunch of exes were watching March Madness and then my best friend pops up on the TV and they're like, oh, Paige's friend.

And then they're like nervous that your ad's gonna come up. So then they start just getting like paranoid.

It's like double revenge and there's nothing There's no sweeter words to me.

It's so true. But you guys, that's what female friendship is like. When you surround yourself with badass women, like, you take credit for their shit.

Yeah, that's how it feels.

I'm like, it's amazing. And you didn't even have to put on a bathing suit.

I didn't even have to go. I remember that shoot day. You were like, it's freezing. I'm like, I'm in bed, but this is great for us.

And I do have to say, like, Sports Illustrated back in the day, I think it was like an— it was a little more like male gaze-y.

Yeah.

Like, it was very like for the hot girls and for the men to buy the magazines. I don't know. But Sports Illustrated swimsuit has evolved so much where like Serena Williams has done it, like all the WNBA girls are doing it. So when they asked me, at first I was like, is there— are you sure? Yeah. But then I realized I do have a fat ass.

Yep.

And I was like, no, people—

see, I say this all the time, people were like, wait, what?

I think it got such a response because people were genuinely surprised.

Genuinely?

Generally.

General.

Genuinely.

Yeah, surprised.

Surprised.

But I've been telling the gigglers, I'm like, no, she has huge boobs. Like, no one— everyone's like, are you sure?

But also, I'm gonna be real with y'all, and I know Zara— Zara Larson— Zara Larson said— sorry, I can't speak this morning— yeah, said, um, she gets abs from giggling, which we do, which we do.

Yeah.

But nothing will get you in the gym more than knowing you have a Sports Illustrated shoot. And I know you guys remember me talking about Pilates during that time, which, by the way, haven't done Pilates in like 3 months. I've been on tour, okay? But, um, that will get your ass out of bed when you're like 50/50, should I go to the gym? When you're like, I need to look good for the gigglers. And so shout out to Sound Body Hamptons in West Hampton. I literally went— my actual routine was like 4 times a week because you actually, you actually have— you can't do every day. Like, you, even if it's just Pilates, you have to recover.

Yeah.

En.

Yeah, I'm on a recovery right now.

You're like, I'm gonna—

I've been recovering for 8 years.

You have to recover. I also was playing a lot of tennis because I had that Pro-Am coming up, that tournament, so I had to be training for that. I had a lot of pressure this summer.

You were training.

That was not related to anything that was like making me any money, like not job related. I had like a lot of— I was in full training mode.

Yeah, you were.

I also got a spray tan, which changes the game. But I also just loved at like 34, just like it's the best I've ever looked.

Yeah.

Like I've never looked better.

Did you ever think like, oh, I'm going to be in— like when you were younger because you were so sports focused, like, I don't— I didn't know Sports Illustrated was a thing probably until like my 20s.

Yeah.

Like, did you always see it and think like, oh, I want to be in Sports Illustrated?

Quick story. When I was working as a sports reporter at Wisconsin, I had something like kind of go viral of me interviewing Frank Kaminsky, and Barstool had written like an article about it, and it ended up being like— they kind of were like, oh, and look at this female sports reporter, like she's kind of cute, whatever. And I gotta—

Barstool really gets away with whatever they want.

I gotta— this is such a like moment in time. I got a Facebook message from Barstool saying, do you want to be Smoke Show of the Month?

Oh my God. That just unlocked a memory that I literally forgot I had.

Now let me put you in—

I forgot that was a thing.

Let me put you in like 20-year-old Hannah's mind. I was aghast. Yeah, I was offended.

It was smoke show of the week.

Smoke show of the week. Sorry, I was upset. Me and my best friend lesbian Becca were like, how dare they take my serious journalism career and just decide that they're gonna make me a smoke show? Also, do you think I had photos of me in bikinis on my Instagram? No, it was like me crying with a tennis racket.

If I think back to smoke show of the week when we were in college. That was so—

but I do think there were two types of girls. There's the girls that are like, I'm gonna monetize this, I know I'm hot, and these dumb idiots are gonna like give me follows and like, cool. And then there's the girls— I think I was very anti, like I was, I was too— I was very feminist about it where I was like, how dare you? Yeah. And I wrote, I think I wrote like a whole paragraph like like, not mean, but just basically like, thank you, but like, no thank you, I, I don't want to be a part of, of that kind of thing. So fast forward, like, I never dreamed of being on Sports Illustrated. I never want— I'm gonna say this so clearly— men wanting to have sex with me has never done anything for me. It's not a compliment. Men would have sex with an apple pie, an apple pie, a slightly warmed apple pie. Men have had sex with warm apple pies. So like, a man— a man just saying you're hot, a man saying he would fuck you, I, I don't care about it. It is not a compliment to me.

Majority of the men I know can't read.

So like, so that was not ever my goal. And I think maybe it's because of like my parents, or like, I mean, definitely my mom being like the baddest bitch ever, but also my dad. Like, it was all just about like, are you Working hard. Are you being kind? Are you like— I wanted to— I never want to impress my dad by like looking pretty. My dad got mad when I looked pretty. He'd be like, where's the rest of your shirt?

Our dads are so different. He's like, I can't look at you, put something on that pimple.

I will literally put on lipstick and be like, you look like a clown. So I never wanted to do something that was male gaze oriented or like pick me in that way, even though I've definitely done pick me shit in the past.

I mean, We're not stronger than the patriarchy.

When they approached me, like, this— the, like, editor-in-chief is the coolest woman, MJ, and she was like, we are about women, like, showing off and being proud of, like, who they are. And, like, it does take, I guess, like, a sense of confidence, which— yeah, but Paige, your favorite thing to say about me is you don't care.

What did you say?

I literally forgot. Are you—

No, you said a lot.

You said my confidence needs to be studied.

Yeah.

Which is so funny because in the caption, I forget people don't like do sarcasm all the time, but I was like, I'm so, so, so shy. And this was so, so hard for me. And girls were messaging me like, I'm so happy you overcame your fear. And I was like, they're like, you're so strong and like, you did so well, bitch. I was shaking my ass the whole time. They were like, okay, honey, you're done. You can go.

We got the shot 30 minutes ago, Hannah.

No, I actually was nervous. I got to Montauk and I could hear there were like other girls there in the hotel, which this was like bringing me back to like high school where you're like the new girl in school. Like everyone was already friends, like I'm the rookie.

And people— and other girls had shot for them. Yes, prior.

Yes. And I remember Remy Bader was there and she texted me like, do you want to come out and talk with us by the the fire, like the watering hole. Yeah, the watering hole. But like, they were really giggly. So I'm like, I'm not fucking— like, I literally got so socially anxious and I'm like, I'm going to sleep and watch the Tennis Channel. And that night I also remember I brought my razor. I remember thinking, you have to get every little speck because also Sports Illustrated and we talked about it. I was like, I don't want a lot of editing. And they're like, we're not about that. But I was like, then I have to do some manual labor.

Yeah.

It took a long time.

I can imagine.

I found places I didn't know I had.

Yeah.

So when I started the shoot, I was with Nicole Williams English. Yes, she is.

I know who she is.

She is—

I'm obsessed with— I've been obsessed with her for years. She was like the original on WAGs.

Really?

Yes.

See, I didn't know that. All I know is I walked in and like, she's like an AI Sports Illustrated model, gorgeous from the tip of her head. Yeah, to her toenail.

Yeah.

And then the nicest, warmest human. Literally was like, get in here, it's gonna be so much fun, you're gonna do great.

She was always my favorite on the show. I think she has like 2 kids.

Well, what's crazy is we also had like really fun chemistry together. You get partnered with her. Even though I wasn't in like shots with her, she was like my partner for the day, and we were just giggling, giggling, giggling.

But she's been with her husband for a while. Yeah, she was like—

she has kids.

Yep, they have kids together.

Oh yeah, she's had babies. And she—

when the show first started, she was like— we're not— I don't know if they were engaged yet, but it was all about like her wanting to get married, and everyone was so mean to her. I was like, you'll never— he'll never marry you, like you'll never stay together. And now like fast forward like 10, 15 years, they're like still together.

And not to be like— have respect for pretty people too, but like people, you remember how they make you feel, not how they look. Like I literally don't remember how she looked by the end of it. I just remembered like a warm, smiley feeling. Shout out Nicole, you're the shit. But you're going to die. So I'm so ready. They put— they put you in your little thing, your little— your bathing suit, your outfit. They put you— I'm in like a thong.

Yeah.

And my ass is out.

Yeah.

Like it's music video time. My mom's with me, of course.

Of course. You need an adult on set. What if they try and take advantage of you?

Full momager. She's literally like, you're doing amazing. She's looking at me. She's like, This is all Lenore wanted.

Yeah.

Was for me to show off my body. She's like, finally a good shoot.

Me and her are similar.

She's like, enough with these jorts.

Yeah.

So she's loving it, but she's also momagering it. She's like, eyebrows a little dark right now. Yeah. Okay, she's literally—

Chin up, chin up.

You're doing amazing, sweetie. While I'm leaned over with my ass crack out. So we get to this restaurant in Montauk. And I'm like, great, we're shooting at the restaurant. And they go, oh, actually, we're first gonna shoot in front of the sign. The sign is on the highway.

Perfect.

There's cars driving through. And Nicole's like, I'll go first. Yeah, throws off her jacket in a like thong bikini.

People don't give enough respect to models standing.

Yeah, basically imagine you're on a highway and deciding I'm gonna stand here in a bikini.

It's like you told Tyra your family died in a car accident and she was like You're on a highway.

So I came in, I'm like, I could do anything. Yeah, I've, I've been through a lot in my life. I could handle a bikini shoot. Yeah, I'd look at my mom, I said, I don't know if I could do this. The men are honking at her. No, because she's—

what, when did you shoot this?

Because you shot it in September 10th. So this was after like working out all summer. Yeah, but like, not— let's be honest, I wasn't that intense. I wasn't like stopping eating, right? Like I ate all summer, right?

Um, you didn't like get on Ozempic?

No. So she's getting honked at and she's just working it. She doesn't give a shit. And these are like all types of men driving these cars. And this is— I'm starting to get triggered. I'm like, I actually don't— first of all, they don't get this show for free. Yeah.

Also, like, men are so stupid. They could be staring and then like go off the road.

It's dangerous.

Yeah. Like, I've seen so many men fall downstairs because they're— actually, someone almost got into a car accident the other day because they saw two men watching this girl cross the street. Forget drunk driving.

Keep your eye off people's butts. We had to change like bathing suits and they put me, they put me in a bathing suit. When I tell you it didn't cover my pubes.

You didn't shave your vag?

I did, but like you can only shave so well in the thick parts, right? Like it was a little stubby and I looked at my mom and I was like, my stubs are out.

Well, that they could edit.

Yeah, but then they got me, they literally had to pull out like a dermaplane thing and I was dermaplaning my pussy. This— I, I have a photo, maybe I'll put it in the— this is full OnlyFans in the newsletter. You could see the butt crack of my vagina, do you know what I mean? Yeah, like it was that low.

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

Like it was hair that I couldn't even get if I tried.

You're like, I— the only other people that have seen this is me and God. Like, I don't even know how to get down there.

People don't talk about vagina cracks enough. And also, I don't have a Kendall Jenner pussy. Like, there's—

you're at least Khloé.

Yeah, there's cleavage. Yeah. So honestly, I had way too much fun. But the nerve-wracking thing with it is you shoot, obviously I forgot about it. And then Sports Illustrated is like, they're very like secretive. Secretive. You can't tell anyone anything. And then they were like, we'll tell you what photo we're dropping the day of. So I didn't know what photo they chose. Mind you, we shot for 8 hours. Like, I shot in different locations. I have all these different looks. I posted the behind the scenes.

I was in charge of picking the photo the night before.

I was like, so excited, it's gonna come out. And then I was like, what if I hate the photo? Yeah, what if it's my right side of my face? Because you know when other people pick your photo—

it wasn't though, it was the left side.

It was the left side, thank God. My hair was kind of Donald Trumpy.

Like, I didn't feel that.

It was a little like—

no, it was beachy.

It was beachy. I just have to say, I got lucky. God had my back on this bikini shoot.

Yeah.

And they picked a photo that I loved, but it could have gone haywire.

It really could have. But I don't think you probably took a bad photo that day.

Shut up. How many shoots have you done where like they shoot all day and then the article comes out and there's 3 photos and you're like, oh, that's the photo you choose.

Honey, in my contracts I get first approval.

Do you?

Well, sometimes, like, if you're— sometimes if I'm working with a big brand, they'll be like, okay, here are the 4 shots, like, pick your favorite.

But I'm saying like press sometimes, like if you do like, yeah, Marie Claire or like Glamor. Yeah, it's like they go, yeah, let go and let God. Even like what they choose to—

New York Times or Washington Post, it's let go and let God. They're not letting you—

yeah, you're not like, can I see some of them?

And like those like news things, like they won't edit anything. Like I remember New York Times, I was like, I have a massive pimple honestly in the same spot, and I was like, you have to edit it out. And they were like, we don't do that, like we can't. Yeah. And I was like, you're fired.

Also sometimes they'll pick a quote that they use and it's always a quote that sounds like you sound like an idiot. You sound like an— or I did sound— I did say something stupid. I'm like, why did we pick that one?

I forget, there was an article I did like over the past year and I was like, guys, I sound— I get why people hate me. I sound like a 4th grade reading level.

I had one that was like, just believe in yourself so you can be more you, and then you can do you. I was like, guys, you gotta—

I'm like, if the goal is to sell issues, it's not on this one, babe.

It's certainly not here. Also, when you do take just a sentence out of context It's so easy to sound like cocky or something.

There are also some situations where like if you work with big brands, like they hire the stylist and you have no say on things. So there's a lot of things where I'm like— I'm like, okay, so you want everyone to hate me? You know that everyone's gonna say that I look disgusting and that's what you want from me?

Well, the truth is you're getting booked because they know everyone wants to see what you wear. Yeah.

And then I'm like, the girls are going to have a field day with this one.

I've walked into things where, like, they pick stuff for me and you, but they don't know what we're going to do. And then they go, well, Paige picked this and we have to go off of Paige's decisions. And I'm like, whatever.

Those are my favorite shoots.

Whatever makes her day go smoother. As long as I don't have a side part. Yesterday was like kind of crazy. I wasn't expecting it. I was just hoping my photo didn't bomb because that's like embarrassing to post a bikini. If you never post a bikini photo, then you do and everyone's like, No, thank you.

It was not going to bomb. Sports Illustrated has a reputation.

I did get a couple body positivity comments, which triggered me.

Yeah, you know I hate those.

I hate them.

What do they say?

They're just like, thank you for representing like body positivity. And someone's like, thank you for not using GLP-1s. And I'm like, and I get it.

Well, that I— and now I'm like, that is a compliment. One made like, I forget what it was. It wasn't a TikTok. TikTok. Where did I see it? Maybe it was a reel, whatever. It was— I'm pretty sure she was making a video for like a publication, but I can't remember. Whatever. And she was saying how women's body standards, like, they're always changing and they're always different, where like men's hasn't changed. And like women being mothers, their expectation is always changing. It's only gotten more insane, where men's expectations of being fathers like hasn't changed in the like that much in the past couple of years. But she was talking about how in the '90s it was like super in to be super, super skinny, and that was like unattainable for a lot of people. So that was the beauty standard. Now that GLP-1s, everyone can be super skinny if they want to be, what will be the new body standard. And so I was looking at the comments, and a lot of the comments were like, it's gonna be muscles because everyone can be skinny now, or everyone could get it.

Muscles is what people lose when they do GLP-1s. Yeah.

And so it was just like a very interesting— because I was like, I wonder if that will turn true.

They always have to have a hierarchy. Like, if other people can get it, then it's like not at the top.

Yeah. It has to be unattainable.

Yeah, because once people realize that you could just buy boobs and asses, it's gonna be like joining bodybuilding competition. That's why everyone's selling fucking protein popcorn. Shout out Khloé. Oh, oh yeah, everything's protein now.

Is that why?

Because I think this is— okay guys, this is a science podcast, but this is a theory. Because everyone's on GLP-1, and by everyone I mean just more people than there used to be. Yeah, you lose muscle mass, so people are eating more protein to try to make up for the muscle mass that they think they're losing, I think.

Did I tell you about when I was on the beach the other day and a lady pulled out a thing of cottage cheese?

Was that me?

No, but I was literally sitting on the beach and someone next to me pulled out— just out of her beach bag. It's 85 degrees. Out of her non-insulated like woven beach bag, pulled out a thing of cottage cheese and ate it with a spoon. And I was just like, literally, I want to know everything about that girl.

I'm obsessed with her.

The opposite. I was like, something weird's going on.

I didn't say something weird wasn't going on. I just— I want to get to know her.

Full-on gossiping with her friend. I was like—

and the friend didn't even comment on it.

Not as far as they're sharing. And she ordered food.

Oh, and so I was like, a snack before a snack, I love that.

I just like wasn't expecting it to be cottage cheese.

I had cottage cheese in my fridge and I hadn't opened it, but it's been around for a while, and then I realized like regardless if it's good or not, it always looks like it went bad. Like if it's in my fridge more than 5 days, it's went bad. It's just cheese that went bad. But I love cottage cheese.

I feel like we're on the extreme ends with that, like I'm throwing something away 2 days before it expired.

See, I'm eating anything that doesn't have like growths on it. Yeah, but Des is like you. Des is throwing shit away and I'm like, okay, okay.

Like people will walk in and be like, where's my—

my mom—

like the other day my dad was like, you threw out the milk, didn't you? Yeah, I did.

Yeah, that's the fights I've had. I was like, Des, that wasn't bad. And he was like, Google it. And I'm like, Google.

I think because My mom was like that growing up. Like, if there was leftover dinner in the refrigerator, you could only eat it the next day. She wasn't letting you eat it 2 days after.

I get it if you've had like a traumatizing food poisoning experience. Yeah, inflicted upon yourself.

Have you ever had food poisoning?

I feel like I have subtle— I microdose food poisoning.

Yes, that's how I feel. I don't think I've ever had it full on.

I may have.

What I'm really asking is, have you ever shit in thrown up at the same time.

I've had it at Thanksgiving once, which honestly felt amazing after. Yeah, I highly recommend. But yeah, I remember it was coming out of like every orifice.

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Finally, with the Sports Illustrated, as also Des is so annoyed with me. Everyone's like, Des must be like loving it. I'm literally like, have you ever been with a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model before?

Like, make him a calendar.

He's like, okay, calm down. Like, my head is somewhere. I'm like, Sports Illustrated, motherfucker!

You're like, I guess I have to walk in the show next year.

No, I got a pimple and I was like, I can't have a pimple on the Sports Illustrated. Like, people are going to question me. I want to show that women can be funny and depressed and anxious and a boss and scared and gorgeous.

We have layers to our personality. We're not just one thing. Don't put me in a box.

I hate being put in a box. And I love, like, just when people think they know what box I'm in. To change the box.

And it's the same thing of people that are like, oh, you think I'm like a quiet person, you just don't have access to my full personality. And that, like, I so— like, that's why I'm fine being a different version of someone in other people's stories, because I'm like, you don't even know me. Like, you don't get full access.

That's why I love the Gigglers, because I feel like they do get a lot of access. So when sometimes people say stuff about us, they go, so like, you guys are so far off, you don't even know.

Someone commented something mean. I don't even know what it was, like, they're stupid, something. And the gigglers were like, actually, we're all really funny and cool. Oh, it was like a comment about the gigglers, it wasn't even about us.

And they were—

and if they're gonna go hard for something, it's for them. They're like, actually, we're all really educated.

Yeah, we're in the Smithsonian.

Funny.

It's a bit. You have to be smart to make fun of yourself.

I have a woman of 7 of the week. Wait, it's Paige's first ever Woman of STEM of the Week, and you're not even gonna guess what it is.

That's my favorite.

It's the entire WNBA. They are all my Women of STEM of the Week. Um, I don't know what they did.

What did they do?

They're getting paid.

They're getting paid, and it's the first time ever that a first-round draft pick is getting like $500K.

I think one girl is getting Ozzy Fudd.

A million. Wait, do you know the lore of Ozzy Fudd?

No, but what a name.

She's gorgeous. Yeah, and she just, um, got drafted to Dallas. You know who's at Dallas? Paige Beckers, who is—

I love her—

who was the number one draft pick last year, who's a full star. And guess what? Paige and Ozzy are dating.

Oh, then I do know who she is.

They're iconic together.

They literally— do they just start dating or have they?

They've been dating. Yeah, but like, but it was like on the low, and then they literally interviewed her and they're like, are you excited to go to Dallas with Paige? And she was like so cute about it. She was just like, yeah, I respect Paige as a person.

There was something about Paige Becker's like on the internet and everyone was like tagging me in it and they were like, oh, like she went to like a basketball game like with a hoodie on like incognito and everyone thought— people were like, wait, this is Paige the Sorbet? They were like, Paige would never wear this. Also, if I'm sitting courtside, you're gonna see it. I'm not going to incognito courtside at the Knicks. Put some respect.

I've actually never seen you incognito.

Who am I hiding from?

That's not a font in your dictionary.

We have some blonde on blonde crime happening. Blonde on blonde crime is so interesting to me because I stay far away from it. It's blonde on blonde is very different when you put it like that.

That's so true and so funny. Some were saying it's white girl on white girl crime, which is true, but this is also—

this is another layer.

This is another layer. This is an upper level, an umbrella of that umbrella.

There's white girl crime.

Yep.

And then there's blonde on blonde. Two brunettes, different.

Two brunettes, your ass got beat. Staying at your ass beat or staying at your ass beat, that's brunette.

Blonde on blonde. Blonde. CIA, FBI, things are subtle, things are—

the passive aggressiveness. As a brunette, I can't process it.

And this is why it makes me upset that people— that there's like the joke, like a dumb blonde, because I have not met a dumb blonde in 15, 20 years.

Are they both— they're both actual blondes, I think.

I think they're both— they're both— yeah. That's another layer. Layer 2.

Layer.

Fake blonde on blonde.

Very diabolical. That's another umbrella. Scary. Born blonde on blonde.

The same name too. Speaking of blondes, Cate Blanchett is set to play Martha Stewart in a biopic, which I couldn't think of a better casting.

I love that.

My gripe with it I don't want just a movie. I really— because of what part of her life—

TV comedy series?

I want a full— yeah, I want a full season. Like, I want 8 to 10 episodes.

Yeah, because you can't— she has so many eras.

Yeah, you can't put her whole life in one movie at all. Like, and what era are you picking? Jail? Or are you picking the early years?

What if we just do Jail. I would watch that. It's just Orange Is the New Florals.

I just, I just think it needs to be longer than a movie for sure.

Well, she also— people forget that she was a finance girl. She worked in the stocks.

Like, I want them— I want Camp Cate Blanchett in Italy on her honeymoon making out with someone. Yes, in a cathedral. Yeah, like, get over it.

Oh my gosh, it is crazy that you get to a point in your life where people start like writing books about it and like you start winning like awards and like people do movies about like your— like, it must be a weird feeling. It's like, I'm still alive, like I'm still here.

Actually, when I was at this actor awards, um, whatchamacallit, got Lifetime Achievement, Harrison Ford, and he got up on stage and he was like, I'm alive.

It's one thing if like you're on your deathbed, but like he's in full top TV show right now.

It's like the star of an Apple series.

It is nice to appreciate things. Do you think you're good at— because me and you, let's be honest, we are always working, we're always like, how can we do better? We're always trying to improve things, we're hard on ourselves. Do you think you're good at celebrating wins?

No, not at all. It's something I really need to dive into in therapy, but I've got so many other I know there's so many things going on.

I can't be stressed about celebrating wins. But I also think about like, when you think of good things that happen to you, you're like, oh, should I sat in that longer? Because one thing people don't talk about, you see people win championships and people win awards. Sometimes it, it really is fleeting. Like, it really feels like 30 seconds, then you're already stressed about what you're doing the next day.

Well, I feel like it's also very fleeting because of the internet. Yes. Because the internet is on to the next thing, and then it's like, what has she even done? Is she even successful?

Are we still talking about this?

Yeah, like, no, truly, like, let us have a double date. The only time I get annoyed is when someone ever tries to like say that my success comes from any type of man, like any man in the entire world. So that's the only time where I'm like, actually, bitch, I'm a New York Times bestselling author.

There's another version of Giggly Squad where we after Denver said we're not doing this anymore. Yeah, you were like, I'm traumatized. Yeah, it could have caused like you to not want to do the pod.

In an alternate universe somewhere, I'm like pregnant and laying on the couch and like scrolling, which does sound quite peaceful. Scrolling Instagram, being like, I could have done that. Yeah, I could have done that.

But you like push through despite Despite a lot of difficulties. Yeah, where men were involved, which I do have to shout out to myself. I did say you don't have stage fright, this is other things, and you were right.

Which actually brings me to a great segue. I wrote in my notes Emma, and I remember who was— I'm a grade—

I just put a book out.

So like, is that why I love her so much?

Because she sounds like so freaking smart. Every time she talks, she looks amazing. Well, she also is running like multiple million, million dollar companies, but she has a book out and—

or it's coming out, so she's doing all like book press tour. And one of the number one things she said—

can you cough? Thank you.

One time, now all of a sudden is a monster on set. I didn't wear makeup for the first time in 7 weeks, and she's like, you're kind of gross.

Can you just a little— okay, get the frog out, let's go.

She said that she— and people are like, okay, wasn't that funny? No, she said she's been like doing all these interviews, and I don't know if this was from the book. It must have been from the book. It's like one of the quotes they pulled, and she said, I'm a 3-hour mom. And people were like, oh, like up in arms about it. And so she explains it where she's like, I work Monday through Friday, and then if I wake up in the morning and I'm with my kids all morning on Saturday and we're doing the birthday parties and we're hanging out and we're playing with cars on the rug, then at a certain point I have to go run errands. Like, I need to do things for myself for the next week of work. And she was like, And that's not a crazy thing to say. Like, she's really—

Also, I would argue she isn't really a 3-hour mom in that all the stuff she's doing is also to provide for her family.

Correct.

To be a mom. But she also was— I saw a part of that clip where she was like, I also want to be realistic with women. I don't want them thinking that I'm doing all these mothering things while I'm also in all these meetings, while I'm also running these companies and making them feel shit about themselves. You have to prioritize your time. Also, if a dad said I'm a 3-hour dad, everyone would be like, Oh, because he's working so hard for the family.

That's the thing. Like, a man wouldn't even have to say that when he had a baby.

Oh, no one would ask how many hours. No, they'd be like, did you try? No, like once.

It's so crazy.

She's a badass though. I really like her too.

I really like her. She has a podcast and she, um, she just wears like cute outfits. I'm obsessed with it.

I love it how we both like the same person, but it's always for different reasons. You're I'm like, did you see her shoes?

She's gorgeous.

She is gorgeous.

I'm like, I could just stare at her.

Um, Des and I did celebrate the end of my tour, which ended up being 68 shows. Oh my God, I know. And I went to the dentist yesterday because I grind your teeth a lot. Yeah, you have to bring that up. But I totally get a cleaning and my Invisalign, and they were they like were disappointed in me. You know, they can't help it. They're just like, you need to floss more. Like, are you flossing? I'm like, I don't not floss, but I'm not like doing it every time after I eat. And the lady was like, you gotta floss. And then at what the one point was like, she was like, why did you stop using your Invisalign trays? And I looked at her and she didn't know like who I was or anything or what I do. And I just said, I had 68 shows. And she looked at me, that's a ton. I had 68 shows and I, I forgot it a couple trips, and next thing you know, it was hurting when I put it in, and then I just stopped because I want to get a good night's sleep. And the lady was like, okay, we don't need all the details.

But like, that's why I hated Botox. I was like, sorry, my job is to speak.

Sorry, I'm a 3-hour Invisalign per day girl. Yeah, but—

and that's enough, and that should be enough.

That should be enough. I think I might have to get a permanent underneath because I crowd easily. But I digress. Des and I were like, let's go to dinner, which is hard as a married couple because you're like, we could easily order in we could easily— I'll have cereal, I don't give a fuck. Like, I don't want to put on clothes. But he's like, you have to work on celebrating when you do something. And he's good at that. Like, he's like, when he finishes tours, they'd— they had this— they'd always go out for Chinese food. It was like their thing. And like, you have to create your own traditions is what I'm realizing.

Yeah. And I think you're good at your own fun.

Yes. Like, you have to romanticize your life because no one is gonna do it for you. And it doesn't It never feels good unless you want to feel it.

And no one really talks about— I mean, they do, but like not in depth of like the friend shift in your 30s. In my 20s and in my 30s in New York, it's not like I had a friend group of girls that like they were all friends. Like I had 2 girls that were friends and then I had like a friend over here that I would go out with that like didn't really know those girls, but like like, okay, if we were all at a dinner, but I never had like a 5-person group chat where we were all friends. It was all girls because you just meet different people in different parts of your life. And so it is interesting now being 33, not married, with no kids, and it's like, how do you hang out? Like, they have to make time, you have to make time, then you have to figure out something that like benefits both of you, that isn't like— like, I don't want to call my friend and be like, let's go to a Pilates class, you know? Like, because we're not talking for that hour, we're just in the same room.

But I also feel like when you hang out in your 30s, it like means more because you're like, holy shit, like, you— yes, take— we're in your 20s, you'll fall into someone's couch.

Like, like my one girlfriend Dominique, like, we've been trying to hang out for— I'm not kidding—

a year.

And when you actually do, yeah, it's gonna feel so good. And like be quality time. And you just know these people fuck with you because you know that, like, they could be hanging out with their family, they could be with their kids. I also have to say about your 30s, not to cause drama, but in your 30s, once the things you've been chasing start to, like, come to fruition, yeah, you— people treat you differently. Oh, people treat you differently. Like, you— it gets— it can be lonely. Like when, when— oh, I saw a quote that I wrote down that, um, I think was probably TikTok. Oh, it said, make sure you pick friends who love their life or they'll end up hating yours.

Oh wait, that is really—

it shook me because I would say that with dating too. Yes, I surround myself with people who like, like what they do, like what they do, because it's not about Success. It's not about money. It's about is this person like alive when they talk about what they're up to? I have some friends who I'm like, like who they're with. Oh, those are, those are my favorite people because I call them and they're happy in their relationship. They have, and I have some people, they have jobs that like I would be so bad at and I, I don't know how they get through the day. It's what they love to do.

You absolutely love real estate.

I know, I know, like next level. And I know that when I started discovering stand-up, like, it caused issues with people who I think they saw me— even though I wasn't like immediately popping off with it at all. Yeah, they saw that at least I was like chasing something that I wanted, and instead of them chasing what they wanted, they just started like having negative energy towards me.

Yeah, and a lot of men—

well, stand-up triggers a lot.

Yeah, a lot of men were like visibly mad at you.

Visibly mad. About the stand-up thing. Yeah, it was very funny.

It was very funny.

Very, very funny.

Chill out. My mom has said this from like when we were little, and now it like has come into my adult life. And she would always say, my child's success does not take away from your child's success. Like whenever there was like a girl that was like jealous or mean or whatever, she would be like, what you're doing isn't taking it away from them. They can also do it. And like now as an adult, it's even more true of like what I'm doing isn't— I'm not taking your spot. And it was so interesting because any time I've ever felt jealous of someone else, it's more that I'm like, why didn't I also work toward doing that? It's not like that person in particular. It's more like, oh, I think I could do that too.

And I realize a lot of people feel jealousy because you think people don't deserve what they're getting.

Yes.

You don't know what that person did to get there.

Right.

And try to tell yourself, I don't know what they did with closed doors. I don't know what they're dealing with. I'm looking at Instagram and I'm, I'm putting a whole narrative and story around them. They earned it and I'm going to earn mine. So now I'm celebrating with Des at this dinner and it was an interesting dinner where like it wasn't omakase, which by the way, I've never done omakase. Have you done omakase?

You know, I never done it before. I did it one time in like, I don't know, I was like 23 years old and I had no idea what was going on.

Why are you throwing octopus at me?

I was like on a date. I had no idea it was even expensive. I was like, for this little thing? So I had no idea. I remember I hated the date and I got in an Uber.

Although it's probably like $1,000 easily.

I had no idea. I get in an Uber, I call my girlfriend, I'm like, where are you? I just had like a horrible date. I'm gonna meet you.

I'm starving. Do you want McDonald's?

I went to the bar, the guy texted me and was like, did you seriously go out after our date? And I was like— he was like, I took you to omakase. I was like, I didn't— I don't even like that restaurant.

You never asked for an omakase.

Yeah, like, I didn't know. Also, if you take me to an expensive dinner, that you're not then owed something after. What year is this?

It takes a long time. That's like a 3-hour dinner, babe.

No, it takes so—

and I know you, you like a little snack.

7 Diet Cokes.

But this, this wasn't almuqasé, but it was one of those where you sit at the bar and you could see people like cooking, and it was like kind of fancy. And they had like a wine sommelier, which I'm obsessed with wine. I think I'm new at those of them because I'm like, you're, you're like, this is my life's passion.

You know, that's a male-dominated area that women are really starting to get into.

You know, it's crazy. Male wine sommelier, the whole kitchen, men. And I turn to Des and I go, this is just weird. Why are they all men? Why are all the men the chefs? Men? Yeah. Like, like, women don't tell me women can't cook, right? Because people say women can't do chess. Don't tell me they can't cook. Yeah. Like, Let's get our tubes in order. So anyway, this guy's the wine sommelier. So I'm just watching him, fascinated by his mustache. Just can't stop looking at him.

I was supposed to get my pimple injected the other day, but I didn't go because I popped it kind of, and then I got nervous. But then I should have gone anyway.

Thank you for that intrusive thought. Let it out when it comes. Let it out.

It's my place.

It's your safe place.

And I didn't wear makeup today because I just like, I couldn't. Anyway, keep going.

Back to the wine sommelier. Yeah. Do you know that these guys taste the wine and then spit it back out?

At the restaurant?

Yeah. So the guy's job, he like opens something, and I guess to like explain what the wine tastes like, they take a sip in front of you. Yeah, they take us.

I've never seen that.

And they go, and he like does this weird thing, and then he takes this, this black cup thing and spits it out. And I said I turned to Desi, go, that man just spit out. And he goes, yeah, he can't be drinking wine all night, he'll get blackout. And I'm like, I've never seen that before.

Never seen them do that at the table.

I think they do it behind the scenes normally, but because it was like omakase style, the guy, the bartender was just like right there. I was like, I could see you. That's like, you know, when you eat a chicken and you hit a weird thing, you're like, I'm gonna get this on my mouth. And like, no one looks and you like spit it out in the napkin.

So niche, but I know exactly what you're talking about.

And then you're like, I'm actually done with this meal anymore because a piece of cartilage touched my tooth.

When the chicken starts tasting like chicken, I gotta go.

Oh, when— and it could be the tiniest piece of cartilage, I said I'm out. That's an animal.

Yeah.

Um, so just want to let you know that's happening out there in these streets. These men are out here like spitting.

Okay, I didn't know that that was happening, but I did know that like their test The test to become that, like a sommelier, is like one of the most insane tests ever. Like they just give you a glass of wine, you have to say the year, the region, and like what it is. So it could be like, oh, 1562. Like that's insane.

I mean, I love when people love something so niche and it brings them joy. But also it's like at some point you're like, This is alcoholism. You're not a wine sommelier, okay? Like, you fucking want to go on wine tastings like every weekend, okay, that's— call a therapist. Why? So that's like me saying, oh yeah, I'm a cocaine sommelier, let me sniff that, I'll blow it out after.

It is a crazy profession. I wonder if they make a lot of money.

I think I think they have to if like it causes— there's so much training involved.

There's a lot of training.

But then there's a lot of training to become a teacher and they don't pay them, period.

Oh my God, tell me the clavicle guy that like I can't get enough of because he's just so insane. Yeah, brought to the hospital last night, overdosed.

Well, he loves drama.

Well, he does math.

Yes. Also, someone messaged me that and was like, more chess.com drama. So the girls are getting confused with all the nerdy brown-haired men.

Avocados, like, really, like, there's just some— I'm so fascinated on whatever the fuck that subset of the internet is.

It's fascinating, but it's scary.

Well, it should be illegal. You can't go on the internet and tell a bunch of 16-year-old kids that they should do meth.

He's a looks-maxing meth sommelier.

Like, that's like where— and he, he's from Jersey. Well, and that upsets me because I'm like, I know his mother is somewhere really upset, really upset, or enabling him, being like, he's, he's a sweet boy.

Yeah, he's working on some stuff. Claviclear, we hope you get sober. We hope you love yourself as just for you.

I literally don't give a shit, but I just think it's crazy that this is like, that he's getting so—

Also, I didn't tell you something. I just want to tell you to wrap this up. Yeah. We're going to Devil Wears Prada premiere on Monday. I'm bringing my mom.

Oh my God.

Can you bring Kim?

I'm bringing Lucho, so we have—

Okay, well, that makes sense too. Who's gonna take pictures of us? I know. Yeah, we can't have Lenore on photo duty.

That actually makes me sad because I didn't even think to bring my mom.

I literally bring Haley. Yeah, but my mom was like free, which she rarely is.

Usually I bring Josephine, but she's God knows where doing God knows what. She literally quit and was like, I'm going on vacation. Okay, I haven't seen her in a month.

Anyway, we love you guys. Thanks for getting with us and have an amazing weekend. Bye!