Transcript of Giggling about judging outfits, poking, and disrespect New

Sup, Gigglers? Carrie, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.

We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

Hello, governor, giggle— Gigglers. Oh shoot, I messed it up.

You thought about it too much.

We have so much to talk about.

Do we?

Well, you're already going with the finger. Let's go.

One thing I want to compliment you and then I want to call you out. What do you want first?

Oh, I'm so scared right now. I literally just got off a plane. I can't deal with this right now.

I forgot about it last week.

Okay, start with the positive.

That's so you. Wait, that's so you. And I would say the opposite.

I don't know. Well, yeah, because I'm like, I'll be on a high. My Uber. Bus driver today told me that I have great energy, and I was like, I'm good for a week. Oh, that's so nice. And I said, thank you, that compliment made my day. And he goes, you shouldn't let other people affect your day that much. Oh, I said, okay, Mel Robbins.

Okay, he builds you up to beat you down. I like it.

Typical man.

Okay, my compliment is, you were right, it's all about wired headphones. Like, I don't know, I don't—

add it to the docket.

I think I'm going through a phase where like my AirPods are never charged I can't find the other one. Where even are they? Where's the case? And plugging your headphones into your phone just makes the most sense.

And you also like, you just trust it. It's old school manual electronics. It's like putting a VHS in, you know, it's going to play.

Okay. There's something just— it's, it's a moment between you and your phone. You're connected.

I understand if you're like doing crazy workouts and stuff, which we're not doing. But okay, okay, that was like kind of a compliment. What's— okay, what's the negative?

Your husband actually informed me of this. You were there, and he said that sometimes if you're hungry and you're gonna order Uber Eats or order food, you just order. You don't take into consideration who's in the room, who's in the home, if they're hungry. It's like One for— what is the saying? All for one and one for all.

Okay, that's a one-sided story. Okay, it's one of those things in relationship where like it happened once, and you know what it was? It's because I order from this coffee shop that he doesn't like. So it's like he wakes up at 6 AM, so it's like 10:30 AM, I'm doing whatever, and I'm like, oh shoot, I want to get like a frittata or something and some coffee. And it comes, he's like, you didn't ask me if I want anything. I'm like, you don't like this place. And he's like, but you should just ask me. It's like typical marriage.

Okay, I would like to apologize to you because the way he told the story—

No, that's crazy.

It was as if you were ordering steak dinners for one.

I always know what I'm in the mood for and he's very chill. Like, I'll be like, I want sushi. And he's like, let's go.

I'm very— hey, we don't have to order from the same place.

Well, that's my thing. Yeah. So there's been some Uber times where he's like, ooh, I really don't want Mexican. And I'm like, I feel like a pregnant lady. If I don't get quesadillas to the face right now, I'm gonna get— I'm gonna become a monster. So then I was like, you order Chinese, I order Mexican. And he was like, we're having dinner together.

Yeah.

And I'm like, you know what's crazy? Uber Eats doesn't— it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter as long as we order it at the same time. It's crazy that you think we're sitting down to eat at a dinner table. We're watching TV on Netflix. Like, right.

So did you watch that documentary of the, the Prophet thing? Yeah.

You know what's crazy? I can't get myself to click on it because I'm just so over Like, I just can't with these men. Yeah, like, it's a story that's been told.

No, you have to watch it because I think the craziest part was that this, this husband and wife that basically infiltrated this group had so much footage and documentation of all the bad stuff this guy was doing, and it took the police years, years. They're like, well, then the FBI got involved and they were like, no, we still need like more evidence.

Well, the cult thing is they're always like, then why'd you guys stay? And they don't understand that it's like emotional manipulation.

Yes.

Hi.

Yeah.

Um, quick chess update. Oh, also, I was—

Must we?

I was texting. I was— girls have been coming out of the woodwork because all the girls, either they're like ex-girlfriends or have friends who know Magnus, or girls who dated—

you got in with Magnus's ex.

I'm so in right now, and they're all DMing me, and I'm like sending it to Des. Okay, so people who know Magnus claim that Magnus thinks there were people in the audience. That's how he was cheating. But then I got a direct line from one of Hans's ex-girlfriends.

No, like, this is the tea that you'd be in.

She says, I'm a giggler, inside scoop. I know Hans's ex-girlfriend. She says even she doesn't know if he cheated, but I quote, if anyone would, it would be him. After they broke up, she sold all the jewelry he bought her for $1 each on Instagram story. Okay, I don't really know what that meant.

I went to middle school with a kid named Hans. Oh, I remember he was bilingual. They sat me next to him during Spanish class. Huge mistake. He did all my Spanish for me.

And shout out, Hans. Thank you for supporting women in the arts.

I remember he had a really nice home and a really pretty mom. That's like all I remember from middle school.

I wonder where he is.

I knew all the pretty moms in middle Speaking of finding people. Yeah.

Have you ever seen a girl on Instagram who has like a beautiful nose job? Like, you see it, you know, it's a nose job, but it's really good.

Yeah.

And then you're like, now I have to scroll to see what her nose looked before to be like, was it a slight—

See, I like when they make it their personality because the video's pinned.

See, this girl, this girl, I was like, I'ma find it.

Yeah.

So this is what I'm doing when Des is like— and I'm like, I'm working, scrolling on my phone. So I go all the way back to her Instagram. It starts in 2021. So this bitch, she took out all of that. So I said, you know what? I'm not quitting. I go on Facebook, I try to find her on Facebook. I'm like, I will find my God. It was like a new Facebook random girl. Don't know this girl. She doesn't know me. I just sometimes hyperfixate on things. Look, sorry. I want to have a purpose.

Yeah. Sorry that you wanted to see a before and after.

So I'm on Facebook navigating, and then I see a recommendation for a friend. Des Bishop. I wasn't friends with my husband on Facebook. Isn't that crazy? It's like of the time where like we weren't using Facebook.

It's actually not crazy.

Well, then I friend requested him and I was like, can you accept my friend request? And then I'm like, what photos do you have on there? And he's like, I don't know. And I'm like, well, you better clean them up because I'm in a scrolling mood today. So anyway, doesn't have friends on Facebook. I poked him. Which, by the way, creepy. And like, what happened to consent?

Yeah, what happened to, hi, how are you? No one sent a message. A poke, the bare minimum.

No one cared about consent in the 2000s.

Have you seen any of the Masters discourse?

All I know is I was busy working this weekend, my last weekend in North Carolina. The tour's over, Hulu special's coming, everyone get—

Do you feel such a sense of relief?

I was really sad. You are like going to the venue. I was really sad.

Wow.

Because I was—

I—

you're just like, I'm not going to do this again until I write a whole new hour. And it took me like 2 years to put it together. But do you remember like our last tour show in Salt Lake City when like we never had a problem with the tech? And then the last show there was like a— Oh yeah. And we took it as like a sign. I went up to do the god mic and I started speaking in it and no one was reacting. And but it sounded like it was on. And I was like looking at Gabby who was with me and I was like, what's going on? This crowd like isn't reacting to my voice. And they realized the audio wasn't going to the crowd. But I was like, that's a sign. Maybe the universe is like—

I remember our last show and I was like, turn it off. I was ready.

We know.

I had packed it in mentally and physically.

Wait. So Des was telling me about the Masters. He was rooting for Rory.

Not about that. I could give a shit less.

Oh, I thought you—

What? I'm with the girls gossip. I don't care who won. I don't even care who was playing. Anyway, so they invited some influencers to the Masters this year. Okay. And people were livid. So they invite these influencers and people were mad. One, that there were influencers there and two, on how they were dressed. I wanna like watch what I say because I don't feel that passionate about it, but also I'm kind of like, uh, okay. So the number one thing people were mad about was that they kept being like, this tournament's been around for 90 years and have some respect on it. And like, you should be wearing like blah, blah, blah outfits. And I've seen so many short skirts and shorts and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, It's like, okay, it's been around for 90 years. I can respect that you couldn't go even 15 years. Like, they didn't even let women— I don't think women still can go.

Women, like, aren't allowed to play at most super, super fancy clubs.

Yeah. So I'm like, okay, yes, we're respecting the game the boys have been playing for 90 years.

No, they're basically saying this is a boys club.

Yeah. Like, how dare you come? Now, I did look at a couple of the girls' outfits that were influencers there also. Obviously someone that works for the Masters and the PGA said, hey, let's, let's hire a couple of influencers to come. So why would you be mad at the influencer for accepting and going?

Thousands of people in horrible outfits watching the Masters. What's wrong with a couple girls?

Should they say no? Like, oh my God, no, we can't go, it'll be disrespectful. I don't—

also, it's not disrespectful to show your thighs. Sorry.

Oh, and then I thought I was crazy.

Coachella, they're just wearing skirt, golf suit.

I was like, this feels very trad wifey. Like, like, oh my God, how dare you?

Get them banned.

So I went to— I went to the girls in like TikTok that they were like complaining about. I already follow her, cute girl, like always has cute outfits on, always makes like cute little videos. And I look at her outfit now, when I see her outfit, my only critique maybe was like, oh, maybe it was a little casual. She had like a Chanel— okay, like top.

She's wearing Chanel. I'm good.

Top on. She had a sweater over her shoulders and she had little white shorts. Maybe if she put like a white miniskirt on, they would have been less offended. No, they would have been offended. I did not see her ass cheek at all.

Do you see what the dads are wearing watching the Masters?

Then I keep watching the girls making videos being like, it's so disrespectful to the sport.

So girls are making videos?

Yes. And it's such a specific type of girl. And look, it just felt so, like, utopian. Like, you guys are all gonna make videos calling out these influencers for getting to go to the Masters because you don't like their outfits, because it's disrespectful to who? The boys? Like, it's disrespectful to the game of golf? I don't think anyone gave a fuck.

It is—

who was playing?

It is very pick-me to be like that's disrespectful to wear that. What, like they're gonna distract Rory McIlroy? I might tell a quick, very quick story. Yes, because I have a lot of opinions on golf, which, by the way, I'm very good at it. So if any boyfriends are listening, I know what I'm talking about. I had a 15 handicap back in my day.

Also, this pimple is ruining my life for like 2 weeks. We both have a pimple, and I called today to get it injected, and she was like, sorry.

Yeah, I saw it brewing last week.

That is me.

I saw it.

Like, no, it's Ben. It's Ben.

And I knew it was gonna be one that like was gonna be tough.

There's like two heads on it.

I knew it was gonna ruin—

wait, no, it's ruining it.

Can I say something though?

Sure.

When you have a pimple, I'm very humble, you forget about all— actually, yes. Yeah, but you forget about all your other problems and you put it all into your pimple. And I actually think you kind of enjoy it because you wake up and you go, it's the pimple, it's ruining my life. God forbid you actually address like internal demons going on.

No, it's gotta be my skin. No, I'm having a bad skin week. You know what? It's crazy. It's like women really, like I have one good week a month. We have one good week a month. Right now in my specific week, I hate my skin.

Are you pre? Are you PMSing?

Yeah.

Yeah. And what else? How about yes? How about always?

I feel like I'm just always PMSing.

So, when I was a golfer.

The other day a man asked me what menopause was. I had to walk away.

It's not our job to educate you. Read a book. Like, okay, so when I was like, I think I was like 12, and we show up, we like golfed on Shelter Island. Yeah, I was wearing a tennis skirt to golf because like I'm not buying golf— like it's all skirts, whatever. And I play a sport with it. I'm not wearing a fucking Coachella skirt, which by the way they're allowed to. It's belts. Um, so my dad gets pulled aside and they're like, hey, she can't wear that skirt, it's too short. How old were you? 12. Okay. And my dad's like, that's a Nike tennis skirt and she's 12. And they were like, it has to be like right by the knee. So they're basically like, you have to dress in like an old lady, like long skirts.

It's very tradwife-y. Like, why? Because you're gonna distract the—

no, that's the question. My dad was like, with your knees, was like You're saying that you're sexualizing my 12-year-old daughter right now because she's wearing a tennis—

Yeah.

And like, you know me, it wasn't a girly tennis, right? It was like a navy blue plain tennis skirt with a collared shirt.

I felt like the Mean Girls mom. I saw the girls TikTok.

I go, adorable.

She's adorable.

It's so the fact that people saying that you're— you showing skin is disrespectful is basically saying that women's sexuality is like dirty or inappropriate. Um, like everyone needs to be walking around like fucking virgins all the time, which by the way, virginity is a construct.

Like, okay, the one of the influencers that was there, Wishbone Kitchen, a Hamptons suite, I mean, had a professional chef, had a pleated mini skirt on, a, a sweater, like in— I don't think she was one of the girls that was getting called out for her outfit, but like the outfits weren't insane. Like no one was showing up in like tube tops, even the players Wives, I guess, get like way more shit than like other sports. And it's very interesting because it's like at any other sporting event, there's going to be influencers there. That's just like what the world is. And also, I feel like if you're mad that influencers are at this event, like the world evolves and it changes. 50 years ago, you wouldn't have even been allowed to go to the event. Now, now influencers are allowed. It's like it's just so Bizarre. And also, obviously there's a team of people that work there that are like, let's try and get some younger generation eyes on inside the event. Like maybe— and it's not all because they want tickets or they want people to like bid for tickets or whatever. It's just awareness of the sport.

And that's what influencers do.

Not to be a mom, but jealousy is a disease. Get well soon.

Okay, that's how I felt watching the videos. I felt like the influencers, because I don't know, the one girl, her name's Abby. I don't know how much younger she is than me, but in my head, maybe she's like 28, but in my head she's like 25 years old. And I'm like, all these people are being mean about her outfit because they're jealous. Like, don't then show me your tradwife dress and be like, see, this is what you should have worn. Okay, maybe if you're in your 60s. This girl's like in her 20s, she's wearing a white miniskirt.

Also, I want to challenge people to we already have decentered men. If you haven't, buy the book. But I want us to also work on decentering your age.

I saw this on TikTok.

Did you see that TikTok?

They were—

I didn't watch it, but I— decentering age was powerful because— Yeah, yeah. There's moments where—

which I'm so bad at.

You're, you're really bad at it. I don't want to call you out, but this was pointed. This is for you. Okay. Well, I like to approach things and say this is for the gigglers, but really it's for you. Because you—

we're all gonna start group therapy.

You put it like really strong with your identity, where I feel like age—

I have a pimple and now my best friend is gonna name things that I always do.

But you've called yourself out on it. You were like, when I turn 30, I'm gonna kill myself. And then you were like, I actually never felt better. So I'm like, we could have avoided all of that if you weren't so hyper-focused on your age.

Sorry, I'd like to have a 5-year plan. And when I was turning 30, I did it. It was really stressing me out.

I do think—

but no, I do. I put a lot of like onus on my age.

Yeah, so I'm just, I'm just putting that out there to— for you to work on. Okay, add it to the list.

Um, one more thing about the Masters thing too.

Yes.

Okay, say I'm totally wrong and say like all the influencers were disrespecting the sport and their outfits were trashy and classless and blah blah blah. When something like this happens the amount of people that are not content creators that then feel okay to make videos because it feels— it almost feels like this group mentality of like, oh, it's okay to hate on this one subject because everyone's hating on it. Let me get some views. And so then I felt like it started to be like, do you guys—

are you guys actually that mad that a bunch of like 25-year-olds went to Or do you just see that it's getting discourse and you want views on your own?

Yeah. Like, is it really upsetting your day that like a girl wore a white skirt to the Masters?

Also, whatever happened to like seeing someone getting bullied by a lot of people and being like, hey, let's not do that.

Like, whatever happened?

I loved in school if you saw people bullying someone.

Yeah.

Being like, hey, not okay. Yeah, that was cool. Like, that was cool of you to say, I'm not jumping on the bandwagon, because it's really easy for you guys all to gang up on one person right now. But I digress, I'm not gonna live through my, you know, middle school traumas.

Okay, my other TikTok discourse that I've been seeing is about Coachella.

Coachella, I am enjoying the people, non-influencers, doing content, because that's fun. It's like, show me the real experience.

The camping? Oh no, you got me fucked up. This is what I mean when I'm like, I'm not traveling outside my home to see a concert. I don't care how much you love someone. I'm not— I'm not walking to the shower trailer. If there— if the words shower trailer are like introduced to me, I'm not going.

Also, people are like, well, Hannah, you don't do drugs, that's why you don't get it. It's not— If I'm fucked up—

if I had a nickel for every situation we've been in, I've been like, you don't do drugs, you don't get it.

But I'm saying, if I'm fucked up on Molly, yeah, I want to be in the comfort of a place that I know where the bathroom is, yeah, I know where my friends are. I don't want to be high as a kite, losing my friends, crazy music, yeah, dark, there's dust in my face.

Like, no, I couldn't do the dust.

I'd immediately call 911.

Like, I'm sensitive.

I would walk straight to the hospital wherever the nurse station is. I would just go there.

We would be at the infirmary. We would. We'd be like, where is first aid here?

I would call the police on myself. Yeah, they take me away.

I think I'm gonna pass out. I haven't eaten all day.

But I love watching other people have fun and loving something, even if I'm not capable of that. We have to discuss Justin. Yes. So I'm getting blown up. Everyone's forwarding me how someone made a funny Instagram being like, every man deep down just wants to show you YouTube videos.

Yeah.

And I'm, I'm a believer.

When he like got big, he looked like a child. So I never—

I just was like, this kid's so talented now.

I mean, as a grown adult, I'm like, he has such swag.

Now let me say, I fully understand him blowing up on YouTube and him turning to look at his older self and singing, like, it was— it's so powerful and it truly is art. Like, he's— that's his art performance. He was showing some random YouTube that I think he just got a little carried away with, like, yeah, the Gotti joke and stuff. That was YouTube waterboarding.

I wasn't offended though at all by his performance. Now, did I laugh when people were comparing him and Sabrina Carpenter? Like, Totally. But I would argue that if like Lady Gaga got up there and like laid on the ground, I would be like, that's art.

Do you think if Taylor Swift did that, would people be upset?

No, people would love it. I think people would love it because her real Swifties would be like, do you know how like connected that made us feel? Like we were in her bedroom just like watching YouTube videos. But here's the thing, if I'm going to a Justin Bieber concert, I'm not expecting like a full dance routine.

Yeah. Even though he is a great dancer. He is a great dancer. But yeah, that's not— it's like going to see Beyoncé and she doesn't dance and she doesn't have incredible dancers behind her. You'd be like, you'd feel tricked. We're like, Justin, it's— I understood it and I thought it was beautiful, but it did remind me a little of like stand-up comedy where like, like a man will shoot his special in a sweatshirt, in like whatever suit he has lying around, no hair, makeup. And like, I wish I could do that where like I have to get a stylist, hair, makeup, hours and hours wearing heels. Like there's just more that goes into presenting yourself as a woman.

My equivalent to that is like going on vacation with your significant other.

Mm-hmm.

Like, because I feel like you're in such a confined space and you really like see the steps in their routine and the lack thereof in men, like Their biggest thing is ironing something.

But you know what you said about how he has swag?

And half the time they delegate it to you. Now, that's one thing I don't do.

Laundry.

Yeah, I won't like iron something for some— I'm like, do mine.

I actually, I bought one of those like ironers that are— I don't know, I bought an iron. Des loves ironing. It's like his thing because he likes like suits.

That's why I had to get a steamer closet. I'm like, if I don't like ironing and you don't like it.

But what you said about Justin having confidence and swag, that's what we need to channel. Like, have the confidence to do a Coachella set in a sweatshirt and you're so fucking good. Yeah, you're so iconic that you can just show old photos of yourself and people lose their fucking minds. And that's the confidence that I want women to have.

Here's the other thing. I think people are being tough on him to— he's, he's been famous for so long, like, he's done the big performances. Like, this was a new—

that is such a great point. Sabrina Carpenter is on the up.

Yeah, it's not like this was his—

she's establishing herself.

Yes, correct. He—

that was almost like a lifetime achievement.

Yeah, it was almost like, let's take a trip down memory lane, farewell tour.

Yes, yes. And he's experimenting with his vibes. I thought that his Grammy performance— was it the Grammys? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, whatever. His last performance—

not act like something fucked up didn't happen to him. So I'm in the realm of like, he can do whatever he wants as far as I'm concerned.

Like, she must be so proud of him.

I think she's definitely so proud of him, but I give her so much credit—

the hate she's had to go through—

for continuing to do her own thing. Like, she does not have Rhode because of him. Like, she— okay, does she have like some of her fame because of him? Like, yeah, of course, but she's also friends with a ton of famous people. She was always going to be famous.

She financially set herself up to be independent and okay. Yeah, like, it just felt like she's dealt with so much bullshit in that relationship because of how famous they are.

Well, it feels like they've had to grow up really quickly.

Yeah. And just, you know, I'll never forget her being like, I don't say anything to anyone, I don't do anything.

Yeah.

Like, when I— they're back to when we met— she was getting crucified, and I— you couldn't— I couldn't even tell you why.

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Speaking of men. Yeah, I don't know if I should tell the full story because it's kind of gross.

What? Who's it about?

Okay, it's a friend of a friend.

Okay.

She said that she just got out of a really hard relationship and she met this guy who she's really into, except—

I love it. I'm gonna put some lip gloss on because I'm just like, my lips are a little dry.

I don't know if you're gonna want to put liquid on your mouth during this, but okay, he likes to spit in her mouth.

Okay.

And he did it the first time, like, without asking. Like, he just kind of did it. And she was like, maybe that was just a moment, like, in the heat of the moment. And then the next time he did it again, and then she was like, I don't want to kink shame him. And then I was like, what if it's your kink though to not be spat at? Like, what if that's what you're into? Please don't spit on me. I'm not getting these details, but it's like, he's It's a real— it's a real spit. And then like a real— it's a loogie.

Yeah, a real hawk.

And I gagged. It's— he's hawk-toing.

Yeah.

So like, these are the options. You think he's your soulmate, but he does this. Do you just say, you got to stop? Do you say, you can do this, but you have to just like pay a prostitute and do it with her on the side?

Please do not give this problem to some other girl.

No, at least let her financially benefit from it.

Yeah.

Or thirdly, you go, hey, birthdays and holidays. Yeah, I'll let you do your little freaky things to me.

Totally.

But you hate it, like you don't like it. So, or do you realize, I don't care if I like this guy in other areas, I can't deal with this, he's not my soulmate?

I'm finding it.

And are soulmates even real?

Oh my God, I don't know. Let's ask Des.

Well, Des, unsubscribe from my channel.

I think it all depends on how much you like this I thought you could say it all depends on how much spit he's spitting.

She's like, what kind of spit?

Well, you guys, look, if there's a night and you're both like, oh my God, we're 5 cocktails in, it's so passionate, and like you're doing weird kinky stuff, like, okay, maybe. But like a Tuesday night after you just watched like the new Jon Hamm show, like, I don't know if I want spit in my mouth.

You know when you, you like a guy but there's things that kind of turn you off in bed about him?

Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off. I feel like a lot of times the things guys do, because they're so— they are so dumb, they're only doing them because they think you actually like it. One girl they dated once, or they watched some video where they did that and like the girl was like, oh my God, I really like it, and they don't realize it's acting. Men with porn are like females to reality TV. They can't understand that it's not real.

And then they reenact in their real life and you're like, that's not how it actually happens.

There's actually so many conversations before this that you didn't see. There's contracts, there's lawyers.

Also, there was foreplay that they didn't show. There were a lot of conversations that didn't lead to—

There's cameras, there's lights, there's producers.

Yeah, she didn't just come. Also, it wasn't that good. It wasn't that bad. Okay.

It's like, are we getting an Emmy? No, but it was a solid performance.

Oh my God, that is genius. That's literally genius.

What were we even saying?

Well, I was saying— I was going to say the guy.

So I think that if you really don't like it, like, this is a non-negotiable for me. I don't— I think you should feel comfortable enough to be like, hey, I don't— I'm not really into it because you don't know. He might be like, Oh, I'm not really even into that either. Like, okay, I have a small story.

Please.

One time I was talking about this guy and I don't know if wires got crossed.

Tubes were tied. A little miscommunication.

I'm not sure what happened, but not hard. I mean, not rough.

Is this the time he fainted? Sorry, I can't keep track. Continue.

Kim de Sor was at home like, Paige, that was one time and I was safe. But anyway, that's a story for a different day. He lightly, like, hit my face, like, lightly.

And I looked at him and he looked at me and I was like, I don't know. And he was like, totally, I didn't know either.

I felt like— and I was like, I feel like I'm good on it. And he was like, and so am I.

I didn't know, like, good, like, no thank you, no thank you. I love how he's like, sorry, you just had a slappable face.

But also, for a second, I was like, we better not. And I was like, we should have.

That at least was actually really communicative. Yeah, this guy's out here just spitting.

Also, I think you got a problem on your hand. Yeah.

And I don't want to kink shame, but I do think it could be worth it to be like—

kinks are for girls.

Where— kinks are for girls because it's safer coming from them.

Yeah. And that's it. That's the only argument you need.

Also, why aren't girls out here like slapping and choking men? I didn't know.

They are. They are. I mean, there's a whole world of like dominatrix.

Incredible. Which is basically what I do in my stand-up comedy show, just verbally. But Do you think it's worth maybe him talking to someone to see like where it stems from? And then maybe he'll lose like the attraction to it when he realizes he's just like thinking about his mom or something.

Where would that stem from?

Well, kinks are funny because it could be anything. It could be a strong wind on a summer's day.

Like, where did it start? Like spitting in someone's mouth? I feel like it just started like 10 years ago. I feel like it is funny how some kinks are trendy. Because I guess you hear about it because, like, in high school, I feel like I heard about the time, like, oh, she gave him a handjob with her foot. I was like, what?

There's a lot of like—

where I was like, that's not a thing.

There's a lot of dick slapping. I feel like in middle school— no, no, no, high school. High school. What?

Not where I'm from. We waited till college.

Also, no one knew what the fuck they were doing.

No one knew what they were doing in high school.

It was crazy.

No.

And the girls, we weren't— we didn't know what's going on and no one was actually getting fingered correctly. But I digress. Oh, you know, we never discuss about men. You ever go on a date with a guy and he's like, totally cool. You're like, this guy is awesome. And you like, go back to your place and you like, start kissing him. And then he gets those like, crazy eyes. Have you ever been with a man who has like, crazy eyes where like, during sex they become like, ravenous? And you're like, I don't know who this man is. And then you're like, I'm out. Like, you're freaking me out. Like, some guys turn like Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when they have— like, I'm like, where did you go? Yeah. Like, where are you?

I've only had one instance where a guy, like, I didn't realize, but there was a mirror behind me and like, I kept seeing him like You're like, about yourself.

You go, hey, mirrors are for girls. I was like, hello?

He kept— he would bite his bottom lip and like look in the mirror, and I was like, I think we're done here. Like, thank you so much for your time.

I just know sometimes when guys start getting into sex mode, they like change sometimes, and I'm like, where'd you go? Who is this man? This is not the man I was on a date with.

I haven't fully felt that. I feel like that's—

well, I feel like also you're very focused on yourself.

Totally.

So I feel like you wouldn't notice.

You have to—

his eye changed.

Oh God. As long as they're looking at me, I don't care.

Do you remember the penis game?

No. This is a very sexual episode.

You never played penis game?

Like where you have to yell penis?

Yeah.

Yeah.

How did that—

I never really—

so popular.

I never really played though.

Yeah, that's not page-coded.

Like in like 8th grade when people were like doing it in class, I was like, juvenile.

Like it was like in New York City it almost wasn't fun because like you could literally do anything in New York City and no one looked, right? Like you could be yelling penis and everyone's like, I know, that's just a Tuesday outside the building. 10 AM on a Tuesday in the Lower East Side.

You know, we didn't talk about, um, did you see that Lena Dunham did a podcast with the New York Times? Like did like an interview with the New York Times?

I did see clips that.

I just feel like people don't give her enough credit, and people were so mean to her when she came out with girls. She was talking about how she like didn't understand why people hated her so much, like why she annoyed people so much.

Yeah.

And she said she was talking to her like best friend, and her friend was like, Lena, you've like annoyed people since we were in kindergarten. Like, and she was like, oh yeah, like I've been annoying. 4 years, but it's because she's inquisitive, she's asking questions, she's creative. Like, Girls was her show if she had a different idea. Like, people really were so mean to her. And she said one of the number one things was people could not understand her body. And she was like, and mind you, I was 26 years old. Like, I was just existing and the biggest thing was like she would never hook up with that guy like looking the way she looks. And that wasn't that long ago.

Also, let's be honest, when you're a funny girl, you could fuck anyone you want.

Totally.

And she was quirky and funny and interesting, and she had cool tattoos.

Also, Girls was, I think, so the show of our generation. I have not seen a show that picks what some female personalities are so well.

So funny.

Who would you be on the show?

Oh, I guess Hannah.

I— it's so funny because I feel like I'd be Marnie.

Yeah, you're 1,000% Marnie and I'm 1,000% Hannah.

Oh my God, I'm like, it's about me right now.

Except you would never do a song. That would be me.

I would never do a song, but like, I totally would get back with my heroin boyfriend for like 24 hours.

Yeah. I thought Jessa was the coolest thing. Like, Jessa could do no wrong in my book.

Except then when she ends up with Adam. Yeah, that which was crazy that I can't—

there's more men in the city. There's too many men in the city for you to do that.

I can't believe that was the ending. That, like, really upset me.

By the way, her body was, like, gorgeous. And, like, her confidence in general of just, like, putting herself out there creatively in so many different ways is, like, insane.

Well, It's also just the sheer intelligence that she had, like, to be able to articulate to an entire demographic and generation exactly what they're living through is—

And then to have the next generation for it to hold up.

Yeah. And be like, I'm rewatching it.

And you know what's even sadder is that she had like serious depression and mental problems after she had the biggest hit show.

Yeah.

At a young age. So it's like she did what she thought she needed to do to be happy, and it like really fucked her up. Yeah.

Which is so crazy.

Anyway, we love— anyway, I love you, Lena.

Shout out. Just such a big fan of her.

Oh, I have an Addison Rae take.

Okay.

Everyone keeps coming for her about like, she's trying to be Britney, she's trying to be Britney. I think— just throwing out there— I think she should shift her inspo to more like Marilyn Monroe.

Mm.

Because I actually feel like there's a connection with her and Marilyn Monroe in a way that, like, Marilyn Monroe came up, like, doing calendars and, like, things that no one would respect, like, as a model. And then she started to break into Hollywood and they still didn't want to respect her, even though she was talented and beautiful. And they also have, like, similar bodies where they're both, like, voluptuous and, like, you just— they look gorgeous.

Why are people so mean to her?

I mean, let's start from— where do you want to begin?

Because she's— came from TikTok.

Like, yeah, because people, when they think people didn't, don't deserve what they got, but then it's like they're mad at nepo babies. So I'm like, you can't start from TikTok, you can't start from that. Oh, you want the gatekeepers of Hollywood to have picked her? Yeah, like, I love someone who comes from anything, anywhere, anywhere. I love people who came. She had a really good Coachella performance.

So I also, like, I don't know if this is just me, but totally, I love talking about like different discourse and like different opinions that people have and whose sides on whatever. But I'm sorry, once the person is one year younger than me, I don't care. I don't care because like, how are grown women getting on the internet and doing full dissertations on whether or not Addison Rae deserves to be at Coachella? Oh my God. Do yourself a favor and like read a book.

Kind of like fighting with— read one, read one book, read a book, read a book. It's like imagine someone—

a gayler DM'd me and was like, I feel as though you've fallen off from reading because you haven't brought it up. She's like, I really, really— oh, okay.

Someone has to keep you accountable. So it's like fighting with your 25-year-old self. Like, would— can you imagine trying to fight with your 25-year-old self? I'd just be like, You need a hug. Like, give me a hug and it'll be okay.

No, that's why, like, with the whole Masters thing, it was like a lot of like adult women being like, it's so disrespectful what they're wearing. And it's like, is it that disrespectful? Like, to what, some 90-year-old man? Who cares?

Back to me. Yeah, I want to be able to do a split.

I felt this coming, and I know I joked about before that I'd be intolerable if I do a split, but like I believe in you so hard, especially because you believe I could have a pixie cut. There's no situation you will ever be able to do a split. Well, because I know you.

You know what happened? I saw Hannah Einbinder, who I love, do a split during some, like, talk at a theater.

Okay, and did Hannah Einbinder play tennis for the amount of years that you played?

She is a cheerleader.

Okay, and does she have your hip flexors?

No.

And you know, I've been watching a ton of Drag Race, and they do all these splits, Hannah, and I'm like, you're gonna hurt yourself. Well, I don't think genetically it's like possible, but then you know how I like to find like the hardest thing ever and be like, should I do it? Like, imagine if I could do a split, like how cool would I be?

You know I bought a splits machine.

You did this behind my back? Oh wait, no, you told me.

Yeah, I had it like—

where is it? I don't know.

Um, but anyway, no.

But like, do you think if you stretch for like 3 months you could do a split?

Uh, not a middle split, but if I stretch for 3 months, could I do a one, like one side split? Yeah, probably.

See, my thing is I will never do a middle split. I wasn't even considering that.

Yeah.

Like, I want to do normal split, but like fall down into it. Like, like, yeah. And from—

That's really hard.

No, I know. From the giggler's perspective, I want to know, girls who can do that, do you not have lower back pain because you're like so flexible? Because I feel like if I did splits, I think it would save my life.

Explain the saving your life part.

I think it would help. Like, my whole body would be less tight.

I think it would be really good for you to, like, stretch as if you're trying to accomplish a split.

Yeah, because, like, reach for the moon, hit the stars. I mean, like, obviously, like, my pussy will always be, like, too tight, but, like, that's something I just have to deal with.

This is a different part.

That's a different thing. And, like, your ear canals or whatever. Do you want to know what my new obsession is besides splits?

Yep.

Female poker players.

Where are you coming across them?

I came across my algorithm on Instagram. It's always like a hot girl.

Yeah, like they're going to tournaments.

Yeah. And she's wearing shades.

I feel like Tana Mongeau does this.

I think she does too. Yeah. They're always just like hot and like not making any expression. And this girl basically won $1.7 million off this guy just sitting there and she went, cool. And it was like, oh, like, I have to like look up her name. But it was just, I love when women go into male-dominated fields like chess or stand-up or—

do you know how to play poker?

No, but I dated a poker— I'm not gonna say poker player. Let's say what it was. He was addicted to poker. It was a problem.

I'm not gonna say it was his professional trade, but he did have a gambling problem.

Yeah, like he didn't have a job and he was doing poker at night, and I'm Um, where was he doing poker at night? In New York City, I guess. There's like, there's like underground games where like sometimes—

oh, like a Molly's game.

He'd win like $2,000 one night and then he'd like lose $1,000 the next night. And like, that was his thing.

My cortisol levels could never— I have no like adrenaline-seeking part of my personality at all. Like, even going into like a casino, like if you're on vacation and there's like a casino or like Yeah, whatever.

I don't care to lose $40 in 10 minutes. In 2 minutes? No. And because it's not fun for me.

Yeah, see, where I'm more like, I don't know what's going on and I feel like you're just tricking me.

Yeah, well, but that's actually just honest. Like, the house always wins.

Now, if it's someone else's money, like you're with a man or something and they're like, we're gonna play, like, great.

I'd rather keep it. I'd rather pay $40 to pet a cat. At a rescue center. Literally take all my money. Take all my money. I'm not putting it in like slots. That wasn't a joke. That was just a fact.

You know, I'm just like, how do we come up with a business where it's like the honor system and it's like put $40 in this bucket and you could put your hand in here and pet a cat?

Well, someone was trying to start a business about like girls who have cats who like or girls. So when they travel, other cat girls can stay at their house and pet their cat. So it's like you just have cat people taking care of each other's cats, and I feel like it's safe because it's just like girls and their cats.

Yes.

But, um, some man will ruin it.

I got Kitty this new bed where you like suction cup it basically to the window. Yeah.

Does she like it?

She's obsessed with it. Is where she naps now every single day.

Oh my God, because she gets to be perched.

Yeah, she needs to be perched.

That shows confidence when a cat likes be high up because she likes to look down on everyone.

She absolutely loves looking down on people.

That's so exciting because so many times you get your cat something you saw on Instagram and the cat's like, what the fuck is this?

It takes Kitty a full month. Like, if I get something new, she has to look at it for a month.

She's like, make sure it doesn't make any weird moves on me.

Yeah, she's like, I don't know yet. And then once she likes it, she's in.

We should all learn from that. Don't be impulsive about things. Yeah.

Oh, I saw this statistic that was like— and I'm botching it, but it was like 65 to 70% of organ donors are men.

We have the same—

did you see that?

80% of organ donors are women and 80% of organ recipients are men.

Isn't that nuts?

Ban them. Get them banned.

So they're dying before us.

Well, we're keeping them alive. Also, why— what's the psychology behind that, that men are like, don't use my organs to help people?

Well, then there was like this other thing that I saw that it, it was like you can say you're an organ donor, but then you can have the option, I think, to not give your organs. Yeah. And that's what happens with the men, where the women say like, yeah, I'll be an organ donor, and then they follow through, and then they like—

we're givers, we're caretakers. Also, where are the 3D pen printers when you need them.

Wait, I keep getting on my TikTok like all like women that have 3D printers. Well, they're like— I'm like looking at all the stuff that they make.

They're the women in STEM of the week.

Like they make like clips for your, for your chips and like different like household items. I think we should get one.

I'm a little annoyed with the Instagram algorithm because like I'll stop to watch one video of someone like making a açaí bowl And then the next 20 minutes is only acai bowls.

Wait, my flavor today is acai berry.

Of your refresher?

Acai berry, I think, is my new jam.

Strawberry dragon fruit Dunkin' refresher, and I love it. I got it with water. It's really good. Um, can I ask you a fashion question?

Sure.

Waist scarves, what are your thoughts?

Fun, easy trend.

I feel like it's a trend that looks good, but like I can't pull it off. Like, it's too try-hard on me. Like, people are like Okay, stop with the scarf.

That's true. If you did like a baggy pant, a little scarf, and like a simple tank top, you could do it.

But my torso is so long that like, I don't think it'll look weird. It'll look like my scarf is like on my knees. Like, it'll look like, oh my God, like it shows.

Where on your waist are you trying to put it?

Like around my waist.

Oh, well then why didn't you just say so?

Yo, where on your waist? I don't know how many options of your waist are there. Oh, high waist.

Waisted, like through your like belt loops?

I don't know, but honestly, anything—

you don't even want to try it?

Anything that brings you— I do, but anything that brings attention to my torso like doesn't look like the girls on Pinterest, and that's my battle.

That's the cross that you bear.

That's the cross I bear. Would you wear a waist scarf?

I have worn a waist scarf.

She goes, bitch, I've been wearing waist scarves.

I wear a waist scarf— I hate to piss some people off, but last summer.

Oh.

Oh yeah, she put a pen in my waist scarf game. Fringe. I had fringe dresses 2 summers ago.

Everyone wants to know what would Paige DeSorbo wear to Coachella if she had a gun to her head and was forced contractually spitting in my mouth? What would your go-to look be?

Baggy jeans and like a cool like crystally top. And then one day I do like a mini short and boots.

So you thought of it. And of course, of course I have.

But I'm like, I'm not going. That's insane.

I feel like some of these girls, I— everyone's like, oh, the outfits are all ugly. That wasn't my first impression.

That was another thing that was going on on TikTok. Like everyone's outfits were just—

I don't think they were that ugly.

I thought the girls looked cute.

My thing was I was just like, I think you guys are going to be hot in that. Yeah, they have so many layers. And then I'm worried about people.

No, well, I think it gets cold at night when the sun goes down because it's the desert.

Oh, but then it's like you gotta walk around with your jacket. The jacket, that makes me worried.

My thing is that everyone's like, it's really dusty and like gets in your eye. You get one dust particle in your eye and you're done. Oh yeah, the two of us at Coachella would be a nightmare because you'd be like, I'm starving, and I would be like, I can't, my heels are sticking into the ground. Like, we'd be a mess.

Well, we did go to one festival together.

Which one?

Well, when we played that Vegas festival, we had to do a Giggly Squad show, and that's when all the Vanderpump cast came to watch with us. And Sheena and Ariana.

Yeah, and Raquel, right before Scandaval.

They were all together. And Sheena, I do have to say, shout out to Sheena, she's fun. She met her husband.

She and Ariana still go They love festivals. To Coachella.

And they know we don't, and they'll still be like, "Do you wanna come?" But they're LA people. Yeah, it's like easy, that's what people do.

It's their vibe, it's their thing.

They're lawless.

Yeah, like—

They have a je ne sais quoi about them.

They're free spirit. Yes, so it was after the show, which you know we both were like, "Where is this?" Now, if they were doing a festival at Eataly in New York City, I would go to it.

I mean, we'd be running that festival. I'd be in the front, with like a microphone.

Yeah, made of Parmesan.

But after the show, we were both like, where's McDonald's? And Sheena was like, Jack Harlow's playing. Yeah. And that was the time when you had like your weird crush on him.

Yeah.

So you were like, let's see Jack Harlow. We get there, we're like 25 minutes in, and we realized like, this has been fun.

Totally.

We gotta go. But Sheena was like so happy we were there.

Sheena was like, it just started.

We had to like, we had to like distract her. And then we made a run for it through the crowd, and she was like, where are you guys? And we were like, nope.

We're like, it's, it's not our journey anymore.

We like had to escape.

We were like, go without us, you'll be better off.

Save yourself.

Yeah, we'll only drag you down.

They made fun of Jack Harlow on SNL.

Did they? Well, he's being weird.

It was really funny. Jack Harlow posted that his aunt messaged him and said, I'm so proud of you for speaking up for yourself on SNL this weekend. And he goes, they were making fun of me, that wasn't me, that was impersonation of me.

Oh, that actually makes me feel bad for him. How come every time I say that, like, I like a guy, they have to— they become weird. They do weird things. I.e., Armie Hammer. Remember that era? What a freak that guy turned into. It's almost like I have, like, I put a hex on them.

Or you have bad taste. You can't have good taste in everything.

That's so true.

It's so true. It makes you human.

Yeah.

Are you gonna watch Coachella, like, on YouTube or anything?

No, I'm not gonna watch Coachella on YouTube. I have a family, okay? People count on me to give them their paycheck. I don't have time to watch Coachella on YouTube. And it's Kitty's birthday this week. Like, I'm booked.

Is it her birthday?

No, it was actually April 7th, but I— but her crown didn't come in time, so we took a picture. I said, Kitty, I'm so sorry. So we had to do pictures today.

You did a photo shoot?

Yeah, and she got extra tuna stick.

Did you get a psychic for her? How was this not brought up in the very beginning?

Did that work out? I called Mystic Michaela the other day because I was like, Daphne's been hanging around like a dog a lot and I just want to see like if she's vibing with it. And headline of this phone call, which was like 15 minutes. It was quick. I was with my brother's girlfriend. I was like, want to do something fun? And she was like, sure, what? And I was like, let's go.

You go, I got her on speed dial.

She was like, what? And I was like, ask her whatever you want. Daphne's not worried about being around a dog because she's like, this is temporary. My mom would never.

She thinks you're going through something.

This is temporary. You're temporary. Like, my mom would never let me be around you for much longer. So she's like, doesn't care about the dog, and the dog really wants to be friends with her. And I quote, Daphne goes, "Get a life." She goes, "You're a loser." Yeah, she was like, "You want to be my friend? Get a fucking life. Me and my mom are friends.

You can't sit with us." Okay, well, that makes me happy, but I mean, nothing we didn't know about Daph.

No, literally nothing. I looked at her when I like got off the phone, I was like If anything, you stay true to you, and I love that.

When I posted a selfie with Daphne, everyone was like, she's disgusted by you. I was like, I know. I can't look her directly in the eye. It's too beautiful.

Oh, she also said that Daphne knows that everyone thinks she's pretty and she like, she— it doesn't stress her out because she knew she was like born for this life. Like when I came to get her, like she knew that she wasn't staying there, like she was going home with— she was like, I'm— she was like, for a different life.

She was like, I'm not gonna grow up in this town, I have a New York City life ahead of me. She's like, I'm better than you guys, gonna be in lights, and I'm never gonna see you lowlifes again.

She's like, I don't care if you're my siblings, you're dead to me.

Lose my number. If they say you're related to me, I will deny it. And I'll see you in small claims court. Thank you guys for giggling with us. We love you so, so much. Is there anything coming up? Oh yeah. Paige and I are going to be at a movie premiere.

Oh, The Devil Wears Prada 2 premiere.

Are we allowed to say that?

Yeah. Why can't we? Okay. Me and Hannah are going to be there.

We're going to be there. So keep an eye out. We love Dunkin' so much. Thank you for partnering with us. Love you. Bye.