Transcript of Giggling about pregnancy, pearadise, and pink trauma

Sup, gigglers? Carrie, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.

We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. Hello, my gratifying gigglers. We have so much to talk about today. I'm like, I have like a notebook out.

I'm like— You're bursting.

The docket is crazy.

We were on FaceTime last night and we had to hang up.

That was so sad. It was actually sad. We were vibing and then I was coming up with more shit and then at some point Paige was like, "Stop, we need to save this for the Gigglers." We're gonna have no content.

We've just laughed about it all.

Do you realize Giggly Squad is actual therapy for us?

Yeah.

'Cause I actually stopped doing therapy a couple months ago 'cause I was busy. But you know in therapy, you're doing well and you just complain to your therapist about how you're so busy and how the therapy's stressing you out. And then you're like, I think you're the problem.

I didn't think we were gonna get this deep this quickly. And it's also like 10:00 AM on a Monday.

We're under a minute in.

Wait, I have something witchy I wanna say too.

Okay.

Okay. One of the reasons I think that in my 20s I would go on and off with therapy so much is, which is different than in my early 30s, my early 30s, it's like, I really am so busy. Like, I'm fucking up your schedule with your other clients because of me. Like, let's take a minute, let's take a beat for a couple months. In my early 20s, I would fall off because I— which now I can recognize— I didn't think my problems were big enough to take up someone's time, 1 hour during the week. Like, I felt guilty getting on a Zoom and being like I really didn't have any childhood trauma. Like, I felt—

No, you were like, my friend wore a halter top after she saw me wearing a halter top.

I felt shame of like, you don't have any issues.

But you're supporting a small business regardless.

Correct. It didn't take me till my early 30s to be like, that's— you need to be in therapy for that thought alone.

My problem was the opposite. I couldn't afford therapy in my 20s until I couldn't afford not to. And then every session I would—

Period.

Period. Write that down. Every session I would be like, is this worth $200?

Yeah.

And then I would start needing therapy to be like, I'm stressed about if this is worth it because I need to pay rent and $600 a— What, $800 of therapy a month?

Yeah, that's a lot.

Oh.

Yeah, it's a lot.

A thing came out that it's now stylish to like not brush your hair. And now I'm starting to feel like people are just like—

Coming for your brand?

Coming for my brand.

I mean, I grew my hair out.

You grew it. Look, we have the same hair right now.

We have the same hair.

We have the same hair. We're merging into the same person.

We're becoming one.

And the gigglers still have not gotten a— firm answer from you on the socks and sandals outfit. I keep getting tagged.

I keep getting messages.

What socks and sandals outfit? I wore that like brown outfit.

Oh yeah.

With socks and sandals to Today Show, and I don't think you commented, and the gigglers are kind of upset because they don't know which way to go.

Okay, I apologize. I can't give a, I can't come up with something witty every time my friend posts something.

Also, I had a press tour. Like it was a lot of stuff to keep up with.

I love socks and sandals. Like a heel like that, I think it's cunt. That's the only word I can describe. Like, it's just cunty. And there is something about it that feels British.

Okay, yes, cuz it's like rainy, so you have to wear a sock when you go out. I do have to warn people though, like, a sock with a heel, you're slipping and sliding. Like, I almost tore my ACL 3 times.

You have to have a real grip on your toes, and you can't—

wait, wait. We have to invent a Pilates sock for a sock sandal.

If it just had like a couple little button things on the bottom, it would be better. I'm surprised that more, the inside of more shoes don't have those. Like heels specifically. Like in a lot of my like sandal heels, if I had those little grippy things at the bottom right where my toes go, it'd be so much easier to walk.

So I know this is so us.

Brilliant idea.

In 4 minutes we've come up with a business idea. We've talked about our therapy.

And you wanna hear my witchy thing? You wanna hear my witchy thing?

Yes.

Over the weekend I went to a wedding. I had so much fun. Granted, there were, it was like loud events, like Friday night welcome dinner. There was like loud music. Saturday night wedding, obviously loud, but my ears were ringing all weekend.

Okay.

And ever since I was little, like if I ever said like, my ears are ringing, my mom would be like, someone's talking about you. Like that, like cliché. She's so Italian.

She's like, someone's talking shit. Someone's talking shit on your break.

Whatever. I like didn't think anything of it over the weekend. Monday morning, this morning I wake up and I'm just like so motivated. I like wake up at like 8:00 AM, I take a shower, I put workout clothes on, I go for a like 45-minute walk, I get a coffee, I do some emails. I start, I'm like, okay, when are we doing Giggly Squad? I woke up so motivated and rarely on a Monday morning am I motivated. Takes me till like Tuesday night, Wednesday morning, you know? I'm like, The week has started.

We're getting— Thursday, half past noon.

I think that my ears were ringing all weekend and someone was talking bad about me. And that's why Monday morning, my— because my energy is so connected to the universe, I feel like my body woke me up Monday morning motivated because that's what I do. I take negativity and I create positivity.

Positivity and success.

And money. And so I feel like that's what happened to me.

Do you know what's weird? Normally I just send you comedy videos, but my TikTok was bringing me like really, like, fuck the haters videos.

Yeah.

I don't know why. And it was like, you know who believes in you more than anyone? The people talking bad about you. And for some reason I was like, I need to send this to Paige. So if you look at your TikTok, it's just me sending you motivational videos against people who don't believe in you.

So. I love it.

We're really on the same page with that.

I really love it.

But finally, what I do say about therapy is like, this is really therapy for us. And I also just have to do a thank you to the Gigglers because my special came out, the Gigglers watched it. If you love me, put it on one more time today. But like, there's so many people, like if I didn't have the Gigglers, like who—

Cares about us.

I have the Gigglers. I don't need other people's support. I don't need, you know, fake friends. I don't need industry. Like I just need the Gigglers.

You're our Jalen Brunson, Hannah.

Okay? Someone posted an old—

You're our comedian, Jalen Brunson.

Someone posted an old article of like someone making fun of me when I, you know, left reality TV being like, now she's gonna make fart jokes in comedy clubs. And it was—

I feel like that's a quote taken exactly from you though.

I did say that. No words were changed.

Or were they just reporting what they heard?

The news. The news. No, but whatever was making fun of me for like, this is gonna suck. I was like, you all created a monster. Monster now. But it's just the— what would we do without the love and support of this community?

Like, I met a lot of gigglers this weekend, like at airports.

I mean, the gigglers are traveling.

They're traveling, they're summering.

Just to get over with, I haven't taken my Nick shirt off since the last podcast. Just kidding. But, um, the next one— and the funniest thing about it was Jalen Brunson looks at the camera and is like, "Guys, just be safe." Yeah. There were 63 people injured and 7 stabbings. And someone commented and said, "Double double, almost a double double," which is a hilarious basketball joke. But then someone goes, "No one died, a win is a win." And the bar is so low for men. They're like, "Yeah, a bunch of people got stabbed in Times Square, but no one died?" Did you see the video of the taxi driver that was just like—

This is my livelihood. Like, I understand that the city is erupting. Like, you could feel like it's moving. It's actually moving. I'm like, guys, we're gonna sink into the Hudson.

Like, well, there were some gay guys that were like, I thought it was 9/11 again. I didn't know there was a game going on. I just heard people yelling in the streets.

There were two guys up on a, um, like light pole and they started making out.

It's Pride Month too.

No, and the comments were like, if these were identifying straight men, they're that like— and they're like, it's not gay if it's because the Knicks won.

That is so—

Here's— okay, here's another thing. Also, like, don't light the school buses on flat fire. Like, it's really scary. I'm so proud of the Knicks. I'm so proud of the individual players, because if there's one thing I'm gonna do while I'm watching a sports game is like, I'm gonna just end up looking up like, what's their girlfriend like? Yeah. And like, what, what's their vibe? You know? And so like you, once you said that the one guy's parents passed away, I was like, Now I need to look up everyone's lore. I need to look up everyone's lore. Such— Ben Stiller's making a documentary, right?

Yeah, that's why he's walking around horizontal videoing everything. Yeah, okay.

Such good stories for each of like the starting players.

Mm-hmm.

But I would be remiss if I did not bring up the number one thing that I thought the entire time at the end of the game. The entire New York Knicks organization was wearing matching t-shirts and we love that. I will have to point out that they were bedazzled. Yeah.

The second I saw it, I texted you. You texted me. We were like, no one's gonna say anything about this.

Now be you, wear whatever style you want. What makes you happy? You like it, I love it.

Someone at the corner office was like, what? Had to make an actual call to be like, can we add bedazzles?

A girl made a TikTok and she said, ladies, I hate to inform you, but we have in fact lost the war.

Men running around in bedazzled shirts, hugging and kissing each other.

And I love— I'm not coming on here being a hater of it. I love it. I'm like, yes, this is what the men are missing. They need to be able to express their feelings. This is why—

The Knicks are girls, girls.

And that's all I'm saying. Like, okay, like totally guys, like do what you want.

But also talk about who actually won the championship. First of all, um, we have Jordyn Woods who like with her magical bag. Her baggy bag. And everyone was joking about it. And then by the end, no one was joking. People were like, where the fuck's the bag?

And I love that it was her own brand.

Her own brand.

I love that it was her own brand.

I hope it sells out.

And I hope that Tristan Thompson is somewhere having a miserable time.

That's karmic, babe.

And I love that Jordyn was like, I never needed anyone. No, I was always that girl, and I like that.

That's entrepreneurship at its finest. And then, not to name drop, but Jalen Brunson's wife, Ally, who they've been dating since high school—

oh, I didn't know they've been dating since high school. I did watch a video of their wedding though, so I missed that.

You're like, I did watch a full recap of their wedding. Um, she is—

I did get to their wedding website.

She's a giggler.

Yes. And we've met her.

We've met her. It's fucking insane. My favorite part was he gave her the trophy at one point, and I don't know if you guys know the shape of the trophy, but like she started holding it like a baby.

No.

And it was so cute. And I'm like, and that's the mother of the team.

For Daphne, we can like, we gift to like a lot of people and we can see when they've been like, yes, I'll accept this gifting. And she accepted it like last week. And I was just like, Oh my God, a girl's girl.

Allie, you're welcome to come on the pod, chat the Knicks. We're a huge, huge sports podcast. Also, I have to do Women in STEM of the Week is Sandra's Braids. She's been braiding a lot of the Knicks' hair, and Josh Hart in particular. She braided it to have like a New York sign on top, and the guys like swear by it, and they need Sandra to do their hair before.

I do love the superstition that is involved in sports because it's like, oh, you guys don't believe in astrology, but if you don't wear the same underwear every day— okay guys, why don't you keep bedazzling your shirts?

Okay, we'll be over here. Also, shout out New York Liberty, they're playing, the girls are still playing. But, um, I do think it was a beautiful moment for New York in general, just—

we needed that—

the city coming together, people from all different places and stories, and us all just syncing with the happiness.

Well, also, I think New York City has so much influence over the rest of the country. And so I feel like when we're up—

Yeah.

We set a tone. We set a certain tone.

Yep.

And I really feel like New York City is— it is feeling very 2016.

It literally was giving 2016.

Yeah, I do kind of feel like I just got, like, out of college and I'm like, let's day drink somewhere with a breeze. Um, yeah. Wait, are we still talking about the next, or can we move on?

No, we can move on. Okay. Thank you for asking for consent.

This girl, this girl made a TikTok and she was like, I have best friend, best friended with my best friend so hard that I know all of her fears, all of her hopes and dreams. Like I know everything about her. And she was like, but I don't know basic things about her. So they spent the night asking each other. And I sat there and I go, oh my God, gun to my head, someone said, what's Hannah's favorite color? I have no fucking idea.

We could like guess, but we've not, we don't know.

I have no idea.

Our next thing I'm gonna get into is Mormon Wives, which like might take the whole pod. However, there, you know, Macy and McKayla don't hug. Like they hug everyone else. They look at each other like, we don't hug. And I was like, wait, that's so best friend. Why can't best friends hug? I don't know. Is it 'cause we're like— It's because I know too much.

Too much.

It felt like we're so mentally connected that we're like, I don't need to touch you.

It almost feels performative.

It feels performative. That's why best friends like don't have photos together.

Yeah, because I'm like this big. Yeah, I'm gonna go like—

it almost feels like a photo.

It feels like we're making fun of our friendship.

No, even on the road when they were like, can you guys make a TikTok together? We're like, ooh, with her?

They're like, anytime we're taking pictures and they say look at each other and laugh, oh my God, we physically We can't do it.

It's actually so uncomfy. Like, we don't make eye contact, we just talk at each other.

We only make eye contact when it's like, it's like, hey, look at me, I have to tell you something. And like, it's, it's like when we're in a certain situation, making eye contact where we're not speaking.

Exactly. But also, I was looking at TikTok, there's like two types of girls growing up: the girls who liked pink and then the girls who like didn't like pink.

Yeah.

Because it was like a statement. Yes. But like, that's me and you. Like, I know your favorite color was pink.

Of course, Hannah. I remember, I remember the day the girls turned on me. They were like, you still like pink? And I was like, first of all, purple is for haters. Like, you, it's like you wanna be pink, but you won't commit to it. I'll never forget. I was in second grade when all of a sudden the girls were like, no, my favorite color's not pink. And I was like, and they said purple. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah, because they— you know what it is? It's a little pick-me to be like, I don't like pink.

Well, then there'd be like one rogue girl that would be like, orange.

Okay, call the police.

I'd be like, oh, you freak.

Like, well, I was like fighting the patriarchy, so I probably said blue, but I didn't feel attached to blue. I just knew I didn't want pink. And when you start liking pink again, it shows like you're healing. I personally— pink brings out like bad tones in my skin. So I personally don't— I think I, I really like green.

It's funny that Mystic Michaela said that my aura is pink because from a very young age I've actually felt an inanimate object vibe toward the color pink. Like if I didn't— if there was an option to get something and there were all different colors, I would feel guilty if I didn't get the pink one.

Yeah, because it's—

because I'd be like, that's part of me. Like, that is— that's for me. Even now as an adult, if there's like color options, everyone always knows Paige is gonna want the pink one.

Well, you have a pink microphone right now. Yeah, because it's cute. I really like the ugly green color that Dakota Johnson's kitchen was. Like, that's my vibe. Yes, but that's also— anyway, you guys, I've been in a K-hole.

This is a top podcast.

We literally, the other day I was opening my fridge and I was like, we have a lot of responsibility. We, so many people are listening to the pod. I'm like, what do I wanna say on the pod tomorrow that will like change humanity? And then I was like, I wanna talk about Dakota Johnson's color of, of her kitchen.

I have not stopped quoting Grace's date since I found out about it. And all I keep saying is like, we're gonna make, we're gonna make history. Like I, I've been leaving. The kitchen and saying it.

Do you remember that show Kids Say the Darndest Things?

Yeah.

Men Say the Darndest Things needs to be like the next show. Like, please send us all the things that men have said to you and we'll start a segment with it. Also, it's Grace's birthday. Happy birthday, Grace.

Yes, happy birthday, Grace.

Our Lord and Savior. Okay, I've been in a true K-hole with Mormon Wives and look, I know I'm annoying. God forbid I watch something when everyone else is watching it. I have to wait like 6 years later and then I I text Paige, I'm like, wait, this show's really big.

You're like Kim Kardashian.

How did she do that? Oh yeah, she's like, have you guys listened to NSYNC?

Game of Thrones was like the biggest phenomenon of the whole country. It was like the last time we were actually united as a country was when the season finale was on and people like hated it.

I didn't watch the season finale.

3 weeks later, Kim Kardashian like comes on Instagram stories and is like, have you guys heard of Game of Thrones?

Everyone's like, yeah, I'm obsessed with her. So Mormon Wives is one of the best. Like, it's— it might be better than Vanderpump Rules.

100%.

Because for so many reasons. But one positive thing I want to say about it is I've never seen women on TV pregnant going about their life in such a normal way. I feel like whenever someone's pregnant, they're either hiding it Or they're like, everyone's making a big deal of it. These girls are just fully pregnant, having fights, talking shit, taking care of their kids, talking about their sex life. It is no— like, I'm learning more about being pregnant than ever before.

Yeah, it's— they make it feel very like your life doesn't stop, you're just adding like bonus fun to it. Like, what are you talking about? You could do anything with a baby.

Yeah, there's like 9 girls, someone's always pregnant and they don't even acknowledge it. They're like, oh, it's you today.

Yeah, yeah, it's that. I don't think people talk about that enough because like, what other reality show is really about like the early lives of people, like the early relationships of people?

Or like when someone is pregnant, they're like, she's pregnant, she can't come, she's pregnant. These girls are literally like yelling at people's husbands fully pregnant. And then all Makayla and, um, Macy Do Is Eat, and I'm obsessed. They had like a road trip and they stopped to pee like 8 times and eat. And I'm like, that's incredible journalism of what it's like being pregnant in like a funny way. And it makes me feel like, like I was always so scared of pregnancy in terms of like, what do you do? You're just like sad and pregnant in a corner.

Yeah.

These girls are like, you can do anything pregnant.

Yeah. And I feel like I already have got, and you too, we've already gone to so many functions where people will be like drinking where we're not drinking. And I'm like, oh, okay. Like I can survive it. I think of it as like, sorry, I'm Irish exiting. I'm pregnant. I'm growing a human. God forbid I have to leave and use the bathroom.

I'm getting a cheese fry.

Yeah. Like, okay. What about it?

Also, now I realize like, first of all, I'm kind of a Mormon wife because they all wear their hair down the middle with waves, which, you know, that's what I ask for.

Love.

Then lowkey everywhere they go, like the one problem with me with reality TV is I actually didn't I didn't like drinking and I wasn't good at drinking. And, but I was in my mid-20s. So like you could have convinced me to do anything.

Yeah.

Even though no one asked me to do cocaine, which is a whole, you can listen to that episode another time. But all these girls go everywhere and they're like, we got these mocktails. And I'm like, fun, cute. Instead I'm the loser that's like whispering the mocktail I want to order. And everyone's like, what's that? What's that? What's that? And I'm like, it's the hibiscus tea, like mint. And it's really expensive.

Wait, it's always the hibiscus. It's always the hibiscus.

Hibiscus with some ginger.

So where people love hibiscus.

Love hibiscus. And then they're making them like shots, and I'm like, I want to hang out with these girls because all they're doing is drinking cute fun drinks. All this, everywhere they go they're like, here's your fun drink. And don't tell me that like they need alcohol to fight because these girls do not. And they're pregnant, like how do they have the fucking energy? I'm just like so impressed. I have so many thoughts.

Well, they're young.

And I'm learning more about Mormonism, which you guys know, like we have we're obsessed with. Um, do you know what a BYU Super Weekend is?

A BYU Super Weekend? Okay, so Brigham— Brigham Young. Mr. Young is the college.

Yeah, so all of them are Mormons in college.

And a Super Weekend—

ooh, you're gonna love this.

Is a Super Weekend when you have like mixers and you meet like potentially your husband?

It has to do with Vegas. Paige.

What is—

no. When they want to have sex, they go to Vegas, get married, have sex, and then annul it, and then go back home. And I said, these people are fucking geniuses.

I'm upset.

You would have loved BYU Super Week.

That is like rebellion at a 14-year-old reading level. Because what do you mean? You're a grown adult.

Well, they want to go to heaven. Okay, they want to go to heaven.

God created sex. Like, I never— I'll never get that. Like, if he didn't want you to do it, it wouldn't—

like, why? Also, I don't think that God cares about the details that much. No, God's dealing with serious things.

He's not going to get into semantics, the nitty-gritty of if the penis fully went in. Okay, leave me out of it. Okay, so then they have this thing called docking.

Okay, it's like a little gross, but it's basically when— this is how they describe it— they put the hot dog in the bun and just move it, but it doesn't go in anything.

What bun?

The vagina labia. So they just like put the dick on top of it. Yeah, and they call it docking.

Um, and they just stare at each other. What do you mean? And do what?

By the way, all this stuff is freakier than sex, by the way. It's like so—

so it's actually 10 times more intimate.

Imagine going to Vegas, going through a whole ceremony, and then he comes in 13 seconds because you know these men will because they're like not watching porn or anything. And then you're like, we did a whole— we did paperwork for you to come in 13 seconds, and you know these girls are in orgasm.

If I have to match a shoe to an outfit, my libido's down. I've— I've— you've ruined the moment. How horned up are they?

And they're all doing anal. And for an extent, they're all doing anal. They're all doing anal. Not all of them. Okay, but they're all doing anal. They're the freakiest.

Look, I fully— this is why I love Mormonism. I believe that you should be able to believe any religion you want at any— as long as you're not murdering people. Like, I think you should believe whatever the fuck you want.

I forgot what I was gonna say. No, I agree. And as long as your religion isn't hurting other people.

Well, you could argue that any religion is a little bit culty. Like you could hear something that—

Oh, sure.

And that's a little culty.

No, I would argue all of them. Yeah, all of them. I think what's happening to these women is it started to be like a couple things that they're like, that's weird. But then by the end they're like, literally all these rules are like to suppress us. And we love God and we love morals.

But this— Well, we were talking about this last night that like, obviously we think that reality TV is such a— the best study of anthropology, but Mormon House or Mormon Wives is even 10 times better than that because when they do certain things, you can exactly pinpoint why. Mm-hmm. So it's like these things have been done to your mom. Mm-hmm. And then she did them to you. Mm-hmm. And now that's how you think and you might do it to your daughter. Where like the Mormon Housewives are kind of being like, but I am not gonna do— like, I don't think any of those women are going to put the sexual shame on their daughters that was put on them.

100%.

Like, I really don't see them.

They're gonna talk to them. They're gonna ask— like, imagine putting your daughter in a room with a man and she doesn't know anything. You need to send her in equipped. I'm gonna tell her all the bad things to look out for, all the good things, like I'm sending her in with a fucking checklist.

Did you have a sex talk with your mom?

Yeah.

Like, because Lenore is a principal, I like, did she— I wonder if she had like a strategic—

Well, this is the thing. I was a huge prude. Mm-hmm. Cause I just cared about tennis and I was the oldest of the family, so I didn't have like older sisters or older brothers telling me things. Like, I remember being at a sleepover and someone's like, so-and-so's horny. And I was like, do they need to get that checked? Like, are there bumps? Like, I thought they meant they had like like horns coming out their skin. And I was like—

I remember the first time someone said 69.

No, like, yeah, my mom literally, like, it was— she'd laugh because I was the last to find out everything. And she's like, you're such a fucking loser.

No, but that's very sweet.

And yeah, she didn't have to— at one point she was like, do you want to talk to a boy? Yeah. When I dated my super religious football player that I talk about in the special, we did have a moment. He literally was like, you have to come to Bible study with me, or like, I don't feel like you were like a good enough person. And I was like, wait, but I'm— I'm trying to make good decisions and be kind to people just out of my heart, not because someone's telling me to.

Exactly.

And he, like, his brain like exploded. I'm like, you don't actually need someone to tell you to be a good person. That's just how I was raised and what I'm trying to be.

I feel like people that are bad people, like really, really bad people, they know Like, they know they're bad people because, like, if something happens in front of you and your immediate reaction isn't, like, to help that person or check on that person, you're, you're a bad person.

But also, I do think religion really helps people. Yeah, in terms of a lot of ways. But I just don't like when people—

did anyone see Giggly Squad discussing religion?

This is a crazy— this is a faith-based podcast. And you know what, this is a faith-based podcast.

Um, would you consider yourself— what's your religion? No, like, honestly.

So I say that I'm, um, agnostic, which means I'm not saying I don't believe anything. I just, like, know that I don't know what's happening.

But what were— did, like, did you make your confirmation? No. Did you make your first Holy Communion? Yes. Yes.

Yeah, I had a little dress. Um, but my parents wanted us to be raised like knowing about a lot of different religions. But like, like, in my class, so diverse, like—

So you've never been like, oh, I'm Catholic, or oh, I'm Jewish, or you just say—

I would joke that like I'm half and half, but like we weren't really celebrating much. It was mostly my Italian nana being like, it's Christmas, and I'm like, this is fucking awesome. Yeah, also my nana Wanted me to text, let you guys know when the Knicks won the other game. I said everyone was asleep. My nan and papa were awake and I called them.

Well, nan and papa saw the one in the '70s.

Nan and papa been awake. Nan and papa stay up late partying.

Do they?

Oh yeah. Nana's up on her Instagram responding to people's DMs.

Wait, now I'm like, what is Nana's schedule? If you had to pinpoint a time that she's resting her head on a pillow, like 11 PM?

Late. Like, my parents are asleep by 10. Nana's 11:30 sending me DMs.

No way! And what time do you think she's waking up?

Good question. I know that she wakes up, she does her exercises, then she calls Rosemary and they gossip.

You think she's waking up at like 7 AM or like 9:30?

I don't think 9:30. No, I think she's awake. I don't know, I guess. Yeah, I feel like you need less hours to sleep.

Wait, I need to know Nana's schedule.

We need to know. We might have to get her on. Yeah, that's important. Oh, my final thing that the Mormons say I guess they don't say God, so they say, oh my hell, oh my hell.

I didn't pick up on that.

They love saying, oh my hell. And I'm like, that doesn't come off the tongue easy.

Oh my hell.

But like, when you're raised where everyone's saying, oh my hell, that's just what they say. Oh my God hits a lot, a lot harder.

I say, oh my God, literally every other sentence.

But like, they don't say God's name in vain.

The wedding I went to this weekend, the— I think she was the maid of honor, whatever, she spoke for the bride. She started it, she would know, she was doing a prayer. She started it out, "Dear God, me again." Like said her name.

And I just thought it was— Like she's leaving a voicemail.

Yeah.

Hey.

I just thought it was like so cute and like fun. Like she found a way to make the prayer, like she had to get up in front of everyone. She found a way to like make it a little funny.

She's like, "Some other people are here, you're on speaker." I just thought it was so cute. No, I love that. Also, by the way, I pray.

Do you? Okay, interesting.

Like, not fully committed, but every now and then I just have a moment where, like, honestly, I pray when something good happens to me. When something good happens, I just go, thank you, whoever.

Do you say— okay, so I was gonna say, do you say dear God, or like—

I feel like I say that. I'm like, God, Jesus, whoever you are. You're my girl. Thank you. Like, when something really good happens, I feel like euphoric. I always feel like there's like, yeah, something going on that's bigger than me, and I like to acknowledge like that this was not just me, or it's just like thanking life, you know, like, thank you life for this moment. And then like in 2 seconds I'm annoyed with something, right? It's very—

I do feel I, I would classify myself as pretty religious.

No, I know.

Yeah.

My blonde best friend, Hailey Nicola. Hailey's like super religious.

Hailey's very religious.

But I love having friends who have different perspectives than I do 'cause it's boring.

100%.

No, no, you're super religious. Also Kim prays for the success of Gigli Squad every day and that's why we're here.

Kim prays all the time. You got any prayers thrown to Kim? I told you this story when I went through her prayer journal one time.

She's praying for you.

Oh my God. Yeah. We were like, where were we? We were somewhere together. Oh no, I think she was just like at my apartment.

Of course she goes because she's Kim Shakespeare de Sorbo with her feather pen.

And I'm just like, no, her handwriting's so good. And I'm just like going through her prayer journal and all I see is like, Gary, Gary, Gary. And I'm like, uh.

Wait, you can't go through a prayer journal. That's like going through her literal journal.

Are you kidding, Hannah? I've been crazy from a young age. I used to, I used to go through my own dad's phone. Like when he got a cell phone, I'd be like, yeah, let me see. And I would go through his own text messages. And one, I'll never forget one day asking my mom, like, do you ever go through dad's phone? And she was like, no, why would I?

You do it for me. Wait, so she's on your email, you're on Gary's phone plan.

We know no peace at that house. We know everyone knows everything about everyone.

She is Russia.

The second my brother leaves her house, She's on the phone, she goes, you'll never guess what he said. We all— we do is talk about the four of me— four of us with each other.

See, my dad like still can't figure out how to post an Instagram story, so my mom and I literally are like, how does he even use his phone?

The one day my dad like deleted a text and I go, why'd you delete that? That was like a new conversation. And he got like confused and he was like, well, it said I had no storage left anymore. And I was like, okay, you're lucky. Cause I was like, oh, you learned how to delete a text text message, like, what was in the conversation?

Who taught you that? Someone cooked deer?

And he was like, what?

Also, I saw a TikTok from Trixie Mattel who's randomly like David Attenborough talking about birds, how scientists did a study where they let birds FaceTime each other. So like a bunch of birds, the birds are FaceTiming each other and using their little tongues and they're calling, like the ones that are calling more birds are getting more calls back. So like they have like a full social system. They're recognizing like the birds.

Different birds?

Yes, these birds, birds are literally like kiki-ing on FaceTime. They're like, they have best friends.

What kind of birds?

It was, it looks like a, like it wasn't a parrot, but it was like a parakeet type thing. I don't know.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They literally are like, they're bonding with each other. They're like picking the birds they like more. They're bullying each other. But like, They're recognizing the birds' owners. Like, birds are really out here being smart as fuck. And that's why I'm like, are the pigeons okay? Like, these pigeons are not getting what they need to be the best versions of themselves.

My Aunt Pam used to have a pet parakeet and her name was Lovey. And she was like, this is my favorite pet, like, I've literally ever had. Like, it was like the sweetest bird ever. And this is like really morbid, but one day I asked her like how— I mean, the bird was alive for like maybe like 7 years, maybe 10, I don't know. This was years ago. This— we're going back like 20 years ago. And one day I really wanted to know how she knew it died, and she said that it was literally standing on its perch and it just— No, because it's not funny. And it's not funny.

And it's not funny.

I'm not making fun of the death of animals.

Why is it giving Shrek when she starts singing really high and the bird pops. No, wait, now I want a bird.

Butter would be like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, Butter would have to murder the bird. That's like in their nature.

This is how deep in our friendship I am. I woke up, I had a dream that me, you, Daphne, and Butter were hanging out, and then I looked and Daphne was bleeding, and I was like, oh my God. And I'm petting, I'm like, Daphne's bleeding. And you were like, are you sure? And I'm like, Butter scratched her. And I'm like, how did I said, talk to Butter. I said, Butter, she has an agent, she has a manager, she has a team. You're gonna get sued. You can't act this way. I know she probably said something that pissed you off, but like, you're gonna get in trouble now.

So then her hind legs are actually insured, like JLo's butt.

I'm also on a crazy algorithm. Have you seen the JoJo Siwa cruise?

No.

Paige, I watched one video and now I'm getting everyone's TikToking from the JoJo Siwa cruise.

Where is it? Like, where, what's the route?

I don't know the route, but I do have to say the reviews are incredible. Like 10 outta 10. Everyone's like, this is the greatest cruise of my life. I think 'cause—

Wait, that makes me so happy for her.

I think it's 'cause it's not like that many people. So JoJo Siwa is literally like talking to everyone. Like they're giving each other gifts. Like it's like this community. And these are not like, like, these are like 30-year-old girls going on this cruise and they just love JoJo Siwa. They're getting the best gift bags.

Well, they grew up with her.

Exactly.

They watch Dance Moms. Yeah.

And they, they talk about how like JoJo gets so much online hate, so to see her doing what she loves is so beautiful. And you know what?

Hell yeah.

Hell yeah.

That makes me really happy for her.

Yeah.

My algorithm is I keep getting two nuns.

Oh, with the podcast?

Yeah.

Sister, what's your favorite hobby?

Sister, I don't have a hobby.

Sister, I've seen you playing ultimate frisbee, and sister, you are good.

I literally stopped and was like, this is me and Hannah in a different timeline.

Wait, imagine if we were nuns.

There's a difference between sisters and nuns. I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

One legitimately devotes their entire life life to praying for you. Like, there are— and I think that's a nun. I'm gonna make sure though. Like, there are nuns somewhere right now in a church praying for, like, you. Like, they pray for everyone. Like, that is their job.

There's factories of prayer where they're mass-producing prayer. There's like the sheen of prayer.

It's like a clickbait farm. It's— but it's like a click for prayer.

I love how you're like, religion is my whole life, no idea between a nun and a sister.

Yeah, I had no idea there was a difference. A nun lives cloistered, and, uh, which is like focused on just prayer. And then a sister lives an active life. So like if you had a teacher, they're a sister. I, which I did not know that.

So, but it sounds like it's a little rectangle square.

A nun takes solemn vows. A sister takes simple vows. So like a solemn vow.

Can a sister have a boyfriend?

No, neither of them can.

Okay.

So like if you're a sister, you have a, you live a regular life, you go have a job. But if you're a nun, you're all about prayer.

I would love some stats of like how many people their entire life are part of the sisterhood. Is that what they call it?

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. And they also have a traveling skirt that they send back and forth to each other. No, I wonder like if you become a sister or a nun, I wonder how many of them do it for a certain amount of years and then are like, "See ya." Yeah, like I wonder like what if I wanted to like be a sister for a year?

Like Paige and I had to try new things.

I think I actually, I wanna say that I graduated high school. I'm gonna have to ask Stephanie, but I wanna say that I graduated high school and a girl went—

To the nunhood?

Yeah, to the nunnery, like went to become a sister.

The nunnery.

I think my mom actually might have like even thought about it. Tried to get you to be a nun? Gail thought about it like for herself. I feel like I have to ask.

I feel like every— there was an age for Italian women where it's like you become a nun or you get married. Which one do you want? There's no in between. Yeah, they were like, choose Jesus or a guy named Joe.

My second grade teacher was— her name was Sister Sheila, and she hated me.

She hated me so much.

She was so mean. I'm not kidding, she was so mean to me. I was like stupid, so I didn't know people were being mean to me, I'd have to go home and tell my mom about it.

Wait, that's kind of like me and you though. I feel like I get home from something and I tell you how someone talked to me and you were like— and you didn't say anything back. What?

Hold on, say verbatim what they said to you. No, so many times. It's funny with our friendship because like obviously we're from reality TV, so like I've seen whole dissertations about you, like, on the internet before. And like, like, there are so many things that I've wanted to comment where I was like, I will come to your home and kill you.

I do say one thing, I'm not a fighter. Like, my family never fought. I'm not fighting with my brother. I don't fight with people. I don't fight with my friends. I'm, I'm more of like, I run away from any conflict. The only fights I've had is like on the tennis court, which is I was like, that's just sports.

You're not confrontational.

No. So like on TV, those were like the only fights I've ever had in my life, which is why I think when like a man would yell at me, I'd be like, does anyone else see this? This is crazy. I was like, I've never been spoken to like this in my— this is insane. Yeah, this is crazy.

Where I feel like people have been mean to me my whole life.

Like when someone yells at me, I was like, I'm calling the police. I'm calling the police.

It— yes. Like, if there's a, a woman— now we're women— that's mean to me, mm-hmm, I'm like, you're not my first mean girl. Like, the— think of something new. Like, you are not my first situation where like you're being a bitch to me. Where I feel like for you, when we were on reality TV, there were a lot of things where you're like, that's my first—

That was my first. Like, that's my first time. And I'm, and I'm fighting with with seasoned veterans. Okay, like, I remember the first time I had approached someone about something, I was shaking.

Yeah.

And then, but also, I've also been like bullied a lot growing up. Like, we're similar in different ways where like, yeah, people talk shit on me for sure, but my dad was always like, speak with your racket. Like, speak with your— it was very like, do not address the haters. Like, I've never had to sit in a room and like talk to someone who I knew like wanted to destroy me.

Yeah, yeah. Where like, I, when I see, if I see like a rumor about myself or like something that's just like categorically false or whatever. I'm like, yeah, like, people have been making up rumors about me since I was in 6th grade.

Like, and you've like confronted people?

Yeah.

And I'm just like, yeah, I've never—

but also I haven't too.

I'm like, so it depends.

Yeah, there's sometimes where I'm like, well, I don't even know you, so why would I confront?

But that's why it feels so performative, because it's like cameras everywhere and you're like, let's see how this goes. And then you're like, oh, even like boyfriends. I never fought with boyfriends. It was more like, no, I never fought. I've made a whole sport of that, Paige. When I tell you, like, yeah, I've had, I've definitely had my fights, but it was, it was like someone would get up and leave. There was never like name-calling. It never would escalate. And it would be like, it would happen once or twice and then I'm like, and I'm done here.

Yeah.

Or like someone would get mad and the other one wouldn't. It. Yeah, it's like our friendship. Like, how many times have me and you off camera—

Never, never.

That would be—

here's the thing, I do think that you get to a certain amount of years with a friend that, like, you just can't do it anymore. Like, no, no, wait, you both have to bow out. You know, he's just like— we're at a point where, like, like, for us to not be friends again, we would have to do something to the other one—

Diabolical.

That's so fucking crazy that it would—

It would be a— someone would be like trying to self-sabotage something. Yes.

Like in a—

But I would argue, because we're so close, that it would be a— there would be a sit-down and we'd be like, are you okay?

Yeah.

What's going on?

Yeah.

Also, we can just it is really a relationship where it's two people. It's like, if we didn't want to make this work, we could have ended it immediately. Totally.

Like, we choose each other. Wait, I was at a wedding.

You heard the vows and you thought of me?

There was a moment where I— she was like, someone was saying something, and I was like— and in my head I thought, that's true of friendship also.

You raise your hand, you're like, sorry, um, real quick.

No, because it actually is very true of friendship. You have to actively choose that person every day and be like, that is my friend and I'm going to treat her like my friend, period.

And it's almost like Mormon Wives where I like to watch to see like who starts hating people, like who's the villain. And I realize like the villain is who just everyone decides they're over. Because if you look at what actually was done, like so many things were done by so many people, but it's the thing that everyone decides being like, that's a thing that we're not forgiving you for, cuz no one wanted to like that person.

Well, everyone's done bad things before, and everyone's been mean to someone, everyone's made someone feel hurt. Like, you're alive. That's like what it is supposed to be experiencing life. It's how you change. Or if someone says, you hurt my feelings, it's how you apologize and don't do it again. Like, that is a whole part of life. You're supposed to make mistakes so that you become a better fucking person.

In these shows, like, people will straight up apologize and people like, I don't believe you, but then someone else will apologize and they're like, we know, we love you. And yeah, that's why also in like a reunion when the girls are all yelling at each other, I'm like, but you did that to her too, right? You're yelling at her about it, right?

Right. Well, reality TV has to be hypocritical because then they wouldn't have a show. Like, everyone can't have the same stance and storyline every year. You have to switch it up or else it would be boring. So a lot of the things people get in trouble for, they, they've done—

they've done—

the accuser has done. It just rotates.

It literally rotates. Um, there is a crazy documentary out on HBO right now called Paradise, P-E-A-R, and it's this guy who during COVID he invented—

sorry, anytime someone brings up pears, I think of Rick Ross and I just— sorry, there's just a video of Rick Ross. I'm not kidding, this is like 15 years old and he just says, shout out to all the pears Pears, like, like an actual pear. Like, he's like, I love pears. He's like, "Pears in New York." And anytime someone talks about pears, I just think like, shout out all the pears.

Although pears are so underrated. Like, I love a green pear.

You know, I'm not someone to grab a pear from a fruit basket and bite.

Arguably the best bite is the fat part of a pear.

Like, I probably haven't bit into a pear in 15 years.

This is an old pear. That I left on my podcast desk from 2 days ago. Wow.

Are you eating a lot of fruit during the day?

No, I went— I'm like at home for like a week, so I tried to go grocery shopping and I bought like tons of fruit and I got home and I ate a pear and that was about it.

Wow, I never buy pears. Interesting. Okay, keep going with what you're saying.

So this guy during COVID he's like this nerd from Berlin. Okay. And he goes to America and he decided he wanted to get rich. So he invents this thing, you know, this is so bougie, but you know, I guess convertibles, you can't put your convertible up while you're moving.

Yeah.

So he invented something to help, whatever. He's got the bitch. The rich people can't stop this person. So he buys this mansion in Vegas. Vegas, and he starts telling people, I love plus-size women.

Okay.

And I created this thing called Paradise, P-E-A-R. He thought he was like so slick for it. And he's like, I want to create a community where women can be themselves, and I want to be your friend, come live with me. And he's, he's has this obsession with women who are like over 6 feet and over £500. Like that's his like type. Shape. So these girls who have felt—

Over £500? Are there that many people that he's finding that are over £500?

Well, with the TikTok algorithm, it's like these girls who have felt like outsiders and low self-esteem are like, this guy is creating community where I'm the norm. So you walk in and all the girls have the same body type. And I mean, they're all so funny. They're all gorgeous. I'm like, funny, found like the most beautiful women. And over time, people are like, he's a creep. And then there's this concept called feederism. Are you aware of feederism?

No.

Okay. I actually wasn't that familiar, but it's actually like really dangerous. It's like a kink where men like to watch— I don't know if it's just men and women, but people like to watch people eat and have their body changed. So like they get turned on by women eating and their stomach getting bigger to the point they want the person to eat so much that they like can't walk.

Wait, this feels really illegal. This feels like a weird type of abuse.

But these girls can go on these sites and make money where men will watch them eat and like get bigger. But then girls can die from feederism. Them, because they like need money, but then they're eating so much that their body shuts down. Oh yeah. So anyway, that's on HBO. It's crazy.

It's crazy. Anyway, if you're trying to take the edge off tonight, maybe throw that on. Um, okay, we really— the— today Today was weird.

Today was weird. I feel weird, you feel weird, but that's good.

Today was really weird. Wait, the last thing and then we'll leave it on that.

Mm-hmm.

Tyra Banks suing Netflix. Did you see that?

I feel like she should do her own documentary.

Right.

Instead of fighting with Netflix, because that has to be expensive.

I'm just interested to follow the story.

Mhm.

She's suing them for defamation.

It's annoying because she was in it, so that's why she probably feels like she can't just do it her own. But I would argue like, yeah, do your own, we'll watch, let's, let's hear your side.

All I do is watch TV, so yeah, send it to me.

Her argument was like, Jay Manuel was saying like I didn't visit him in the hospital, and she was like, I lived in Australia.

Well, Kelly Cutrone was on a podcast recently, and I saw a bunch of clips on TikTok and she was like, are you kidding? You're gonna make a documentary about how Tyra was awful. She gave you relevance, jobs, full careers, and you're gonna sit and make a documentary about how she didn't like— I mean, she was really team Tyra and really against—

Jay Emanuel. I, I do think too, it's easy to be like, Tyra's the worst and everyone else were like innocent angels that were just like along for the ride. And it's like, that's not not. That's never the case. Lastly, I just want to let you guys know, you apparently could reorder your grid on Instagram. Have you seen this?

No. Is that true though?

I have it on mine that like, but I don't love it cuz it's like too many options and like I feel like you are going to be like obsessed with it and like changing your grid every 5 minutes.

Can we hang up and can you like FaceTime me how you're doing that? Because I need to know that immediately.

No, but like you created a monster, so you're going to I'm like, no, like, you're never gonna be available again.

Sorry, I have to go.

I have to go reorganize my grid.

Sorry, I'm working on my grid right now. Someone DM'd me and was like, your grid's really good right now. And I was like, period.

Period. We love you guys so much. Thanks for giggling and have an amazing week. Bye!

Bye!