Transcript of Giggling about con men, country boys, and cigars

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Sup, gigglers?

Gary, fix your Wi-Fi.

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my giggles?

Yeah.

So someone messaged me and said, I was listening to Paige tell a story about how her ears were ringing and just wanted to let her know that that actually could be a health concern. It doesn't always mean people are talking bad about you.

Tell my mom that.

I go, "Not in Italian. Not in Italian." I also wanna apologize to the community for saying that Mormon House, Mormon Secret Wives was better than Vanderpump Rules. I was just having a moment of excitement and I apologize. That wasn't true.

Well, everyone's entitled to their own opinions, and if you feel like you had a better time watching that over the past couple of weeks, that's okay.

Thank you for validating my feelings. Um, also just want to start out with our woman of STEM of the week. Up top, there's a woman who does Uber Eats deliveries, and she realizes that when she takes a picture of the food and she puts her feet in them, she gets bigger tips. So that is our Woman of Some of the Week.

I can't believe you just said that because I have what pissed me off this week.

What is it?

You know how Uber launched, they're like, oh, you can request a woman to drive you? Amazing, I love that feature, what a great feature, awesome. When I have really heavy bags though, I'm not putting that on the girls. Anyway, I digress. Also, women can work for sex traffickers, so you're not fooling me, honey. You're actually not fooling me. Where Uber has messed up with this is when I'm doing an Uber Eats grocery order, why can't I pick a woman? And I don't know if this is what Darwin had in mind when he discovered natural selection, but Uber Eats delivery drivers who are men who go into the grocery store, are you alive? Are you alive? Because whenever I'm doing a grocery order from Uber Eats, it's because, oop, I need like 2 things that I forgot that I'm not, going to the store by myself, or I need something really heavy like a 24-case of water bottles, so I'm gonna Uber Eats that and add a couple other things. When I have a woman— I actually messaged my woman the other day and I said, "I'm so thankful that you are a woman because I've been trying to get garlic now for 48 hours." [LAUGHTER] Okay, so don't tell me that they're out of garlic and then send me a picture of a plastic bag with a million garlic cloves, unshelled.

I want them in their home. I want them as God intended them at my door, okay?

Did they give you the minced cut-up ones?

No, they sent me like a bag of, like, I was like, no, I don't want a bag of garlic that someone in the back room like unpeeled all of them. I want it in its home. I know it's there. I know it's there. The next morning I did the same order, she got it.

Mm-hmm.

So if you're really interested in women's rights, put the option on Uber Eats to get women also, because let me tell you something, all the men aren't gonna be able to work for Uber real soon. And that's just natural selection, that has nothing to do with us.

I distinctly remember my mom having fights with my dad 'cause she'd give him the list. Did your mom have like a written list?

Of course.

She'd say, "This is the list. This is all you have to do is get like the 6 things on this list." And he would come back, he'd lose the list. Something happened where he couldn't find anything. He bought completely wrong thing.

And I just remember, I'm like, "This happens every time." A sentence that is burned in my brain is, "Where's the goddamn list?" And that's from my dad. That's a direct quote from my dad.

Gary Shakespeare de Sorbo.

And there's so many times that he's come home and my mom has been like, "Oh, okay, but this isn't one." And he's like, "Kim, they didn't have it.

They didn't have it, Kim." And she's like, "Don't make me go over there 'cause I will." And she's like, "I know that they did." I know they did. I know they did. My dad also would, on the list of things we need, he would like write jokes at the bottom. Like he'd write a backhand.

That's sweet.

Yeah, so like he'd have his little jokes, but my mom was like, it's not, And it isn't funny.

And it's not funny. It's not funny.

That is a good game show though. Like dads trying to remember their children's birthdays.

Yeah.

And what is it where like, like my dad the other day—

It's weaponized incompetence.

Period. But my dad the other day, he like wasn't answering his phone and I was like, oh, silly dad. Or like if my mom doesn't answer, I'm like, so she's—

She's in a ditch.

She's in a ditch.

She's dead somewhere. She went to a doctor's appointment, she didn't tell me about it, now she's dead on the table. Like, I got my dad, I'm like, he left his phone in the car. He's stupid.

There's not a, no, I was like, my dad forgot how his phone works and that's okay. Meanwhile, when my mom, when she answers on the first ring, that's what true love is.

Do you ever call your mom and your dad answers and you're like, I'm calling for a reason. Like, can you gather? Like, sometimes I almost feel bad 'cause I'm like, oh, sorry.

There's nothing for you in the conversation.

Yeah, I'm like, I actually called for mom.

What's the TikTok? This my house, it's Pam.

I don't know that one.

I'm the owner of this house.

Oh yeah.

No, my dad's answered before and it's like when she's in the shower and I'm like, I'll call back, thank you.

Also last night, the Las Culturistas Awards aired.

Wait, can I give some tea? So this is so funny. I can't wait. We get in and they put us in like these seats. They put us in the front row. Thank you, Bowen and Matt, treating us. They put us right in the front. I'm so excited. I'm sitting there all titillated. I love watching other people perform. And the camera guy comes.

I love watching other people perform.

So this camera guy comes and he just looks at us and he goes, "You guys Summer House?" And you didn't hear him say this, he just asked me 'cause I was on the corner. And I look at him and I go, "No." He walks away, comes back, he goes, "You guys are supposed to be Summer House." And I go, "Yeah." Long story. Well, Sierra was sitting like right behind us. So I go, "I mean, the people, I think they're gonna be Summer House." And he goes, "No, you all are supposed to be Summer House." I go, "Okay." I got fired. I looked at it, I go, I got fired. He goes, hold on one sec. He walks back, he goes, are you sure you're not Summer House? I'm like, it's complicated. It's the whole thing.

I'm just not aligning myself right now with them.

I go, it's just not really my brand. Like I know that I'm back on Bravo today, but like overall I just don't even— this guy was like, we're going live in 3 minutes. What the fuck are you talking about? And I was like, there was like a lot that went on that like, it's been like 6 years. Like I'm not on Summer House.

You're like, it's actually super nuanced and like I could explain it to you, but like I'm not sure we have the time.

I mean, some people know me from Summer House, some people know me from Gift Squad. I also do this like hand on the street thing sometimes on TikTok that people—

Do you have a Hulu account?

I go, honestly, I started doing sets at The Stand and like I really started to find my comedic voice on stage. Like literally it was so fucking— like, 'cause I was like, could not get myself to be like, yeah, I'm on, I'm part of Summer House.

It felt like vitriol to be like—

Vitriol.

Yeah, it's like, no, like I actually—

I was like, go back to your team. Explain the nuances and let's not label people.

I wrote, I wrote down Mandy Moore because—

Oh my God, we walked by her.

She performed and with Bowen and Matt. And I just feel like as a society, as a whole, as a collective, especially as millennials, I feel like we're not putting enough onus on Mandy Moore's career and how much she impacted our lives. Like, Mandy Moore actually was the first pop star I knew of. Like, before Britney and Christina, like, really came into my world, I was a Mandy Moore girl.

Really? Well, I feel like, now, this was a long time ago, so if I get this not fully correct, don't me, but You know what's really funny to think about?

Like, like our moms saying like, like Gen Z jargon in everyday life. Like imagine if you just heard Lenore be like, "And don't me, but—" like finish the sentence.

She actually does 'cause she listens to Giggly Squad so much. Later that day she was like, "I was so page coded." But man, I feel like it was a timing thing where there were too many girls of similar fonts. Like there were too many blondes. I'm gonna be so real with you. They were like, either go brunette or we don't have space for you here. Like they had, 'cause they had Jessica Simpson, they had—

Oh, right.

They had Christina and they had Britney and Mandy Moore was like as good. Like I loved Mandy Moore, but it seemed like the timing was wrong. She should have dyed her hair red.

Name a redhead pop star. Vitamin C? We didn't have a redheaded pop star. We still don't really have, we have Chapel Roan. But I don't even see her as like a pop star.

No, no.

Also, our generation, we had a ton of pop stars. Like the past 10, 15 years, who were their pop stars? Taylor Swift.

Ariana.

Yeah, but Ariana wasn't doing tours like Britney and Christina were doing, and Destiny's Child were doing tours.

You are so nostalgic. Wait, I'm charging my computer. You literally just want to talk about your childhood.

I just love our era of pop stars and the girls.

I did just post Eve the rapper, Evee.

Yeah.

On my Instagram. I just love finding old songs that were so fucking good. That was from 2001. Besides 9/11, that was an amazing year. I love that you had no reaction to that.

I just heard you say 9/11 and I thought, let's just switch the topic. Wait, speaking of 9/11, um, did you see that the Knicks parade, like, downtown this— was downtown this morning? Um, I hate to be— I don't want to be negative. I don't, I don't want my, like, initial thoughts on things to be negative. I want to be a positive person. But when I saw the parade on TV and I saw that it— I think one of the news reporters said like there's 3 million people down here. My first thought was, why in the fuck? Uh, well, also, you know how I feel about parades.

Yeah.

I don't think they're— I don't think they're appropriate.

But this is the thing, these people are not like us, and I admire them so much to be like they want to add a life experience to their life and have a core memory.

No one's gotta be anywhere on a Thursday at 10 AM. Come on. I was like, and then I'm looking, I'm looking, and obviously the majority are men, and I'm like, oh no, like the loneliness epidemic, how will you guys survive?

Also, the smoking of cigars is so funny to me. Like, imagine if like, the women's tennis player who won the US Open is just smoking a cigar on it.

Like, it's crazy. I've never been around a man smoking a cigar until Joe.

It's a culture.

It's a culture? It's a whole thing. It's a whole world that I had no idea about.

Men are spending their money on specific weird shit, like watches, cigars, sneakers.

I've also never really been around someone that golfed as much as Joe golfs.

How do you feel? Because Des is a golfer. I always say before you have a family, it's quite nice.

Here's my thing with golf, and this is like so candid, I almost like want to whisper it.

Let's whisper, let's whisper, just say it.

Here's the thing, I don't care when you're golfing, I don't care. I don't have kids, so I don't have to go as hard. So you, you do and go wherever you want to because I certainly will as well. That's not where my problem lies. My problem lies is when you come home, I don't need to talk about it. I don't need to know how everyone else did. I don't need, literally Joe texted me the other day. He was like, I'm playing really bad. I texted him back and I go, Kim, there are people that are dying. I go, I just don't.

Kim, your sister's going to jail.

I'm like, stop taking selfies of yourself. I don't care. So that's where, and I didn't realize that's what the girls were dealing with. I thought that they were like, the majority mad that they were leaving at times, or it was like, I planned something for a Saturday afternoon. I didn't realize the other part of it was that you have to talk— then talk about it.

Well, sometimes they for fun like bet money, and I know like Des and his friends just for fun will like put $5 in or whatever. So come home, he'll be like, babe, I made $30 today. And I'm like, I'm wet. Yeah, I'm so wet from this.

I feel like you liking sports, if someone came home and was like, great golf story today, you would be like, okay, I'll listen.

The thing also with Des is he does wake up really early. Like he starts golfing at 7:00 AM. So by the time he gets home at like 11, I already just had my coffee. I'm like excited to see him.

Okay.

But some men will just like be gone the entire day. I just wonder like, 'cause I know the men aren't talking about anything interesting. So I'm like, how are you guys not getting bored? Also, I went to Shinnecock, which is the practice for the US Open men's. So what's so interesting about golfers, as a sports podcast, you can't tell who the professional athletes are versus like the coaches, the managers, the agents walking around, 'cause it was like a practice, 'cause they all have the same body type. Like, you know when like the basketball team comes in, everyone's like—

The basketball team's there.

Those are the basketball players. No one knew who the golfers were. It was just a bunch of dudes with pants and— collared shirts, and some of the agents were more fit than the golfers, and I was confused.

Hannah, that is so funny.

I kept like smiling at everyone, then I was like, who's who?

So do golfers, are they like not working out?

They don't have to, like they can have guts, 'cause they kinda just need power.

Yeah.

And like they're not burning a whole lot of calories just swinging and then getting in a, but then some of them work out a lot, and then some of them get injured 'cause they worked out too much. Interesting. Like they got too jacked.

Yeah, they just have to really like hit it hard. Also, I don't care.

I know, I was like, we've been talking about this way too long.

Also, I don't give a fuck about these guys.

I also do think that if you wanted to, you'd be so good at golf because you have a wingspan of like—

If I wanted to, I could, but—

If you wanted to, you could. Wait, one more thing about Las Culturistas.

Yeah.

One of the more embarrassing things happened to me. Instagram, like the day before, I see a message from Matt, Bowen, and you in a group chat.

Yeah.

And Matt said something funny that made us laugh. And then I scroll up and I realized like I'd missed all of it. So then I'm like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I missed like the previous conversation. Then I realized he had added me to an old conversation that you guys had had from when you won Cool Girl of the Year the previous year. And I'm like, honestly, like, I know them, but I don't know them enough to be like so stupid over DMs. So then I had to be, and I can't unsend it.

Right.

Roman's on SNL, I have respect. I'm not unsending messages. So then I'm like overexplaining what that I'm, then I'm like, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm so sorry. I'll see you guys there. And don't tell them, don't tell the camera guy that I want them out. That guy's only job was to record me, you, and Sierra, and I was literally being like, you're in the wrong place, bro. Also, at one point Sierra took my scarf, almost suffocated me, choked me, and then started, started like swinging it. The scarf was actually dangerous at some point.

It was, it was a health hazard at some point. Yeah, my thing, when you came and told me that, like, oh, they added me to your original group chat so I could see the previous messages, the first thing I thought was, what is any girl in high school doing? Like, could you imagine being in high school, you're DMing with your friend, you're talking shit about someone, then you guys get into a fight, they add the third girl in, she sees everything you guys have said. I'm like—

No, I just need to let people know, 'cause, well, I scrolled up and it was literally Matt being like, thank you so much for coming, and I— and I— only you responded, and I was like, oh my God, how did I ignore Matt? And then it was just me being like, sorry, I don't, I didn't, I didn't know what's going on.

Yeah, that's a crazy feature and I didn't know they had that. So Hannah taught me that.

Honestly, DMs are like, I don't even know what's going on with DMs. I still don't know if people can see if I read their DMs or not.

My Instagram has a lot of bugs. So like, I don't really know what's going on. I can't see any of my mentions. If I click a DM and then I click off of it, it deletes.

It's gone forever.

It's gone forever. So I've been like, I've like tried to respond to people and then it's gone. So, whatever, who cares. I canceled my Botox appointment for next Friday because my mom keeps sending me videos about how it goes right into your brain. She said, "You wanna numb your brain?" Wait, I'm obsessed.

She's like, there's, what are those like eating things that eat your brain? An amoeba? An amoeba. —There's amoeba toxins. Also, do you know the difference between Dysport, Botox, Cetaphil?

The way I think about it is—

Cetaphy. They all sound like aliens.

This is the way I think about it. You know a Band-Aid?

Yeah.

The brand is Band-Aid.

Got it.

That's not a Band-Aid. Botox is the brand, but there's other ones that do all do the same thing, but they're not called Botox. Botox just has the most— the best PR. I also could have just made that up, but I'm pretty sure that's how it is. So no, I actually don't know the difference between Botox and Dysport. I know that if you metabolize one or the other faster, they give you the other one.

Oh. Do you think your Botox has worn off yet?

Not fully.

From your lip?

Um, not fully.

How did it affect your mental health?

It affected my mental health in multiple ways because I waited so long to do it, and then I felt like I went against myself because, like, I was— You went against your own gut because you felt peer pressured from your own self. And then I hated when— then like people would already like comment like, oh my god, she's gotten so much work done. So then after I got Botox, they were like, well, I know for a fact she gets Botox. I'm like, I haven't had— you bitches wish I had a surgery on my face. You bitches wish I had a nose job. But so that like pissed me off.

I did post a photo, I think, of when I was little, and someone's like, I knew you got filler. I was like, I'm an infant in that photo. I'm a literal infant.

And that's a small child.

They were like, "Look how small your lips are." I'm like, "I'm just—

I'm 2 weeks old." Hier findet ihr die ganze Welt von Westeros an einem Ort: Game of Thrones, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms und natürlich House of the Dragon. Drachen kämpfen gegen Drachen, Targaryens gegen Targaryens, Intrigen, Verrat und epische Schlachten. All das erwartet euch in der neuen Staffel. Also streamt ab dem 22. Juni die neue Staffel House of the Dragon und alle Serien von Game of Thrones nur auf HBO Max.

Online bezahlen? Mit Apple Pay ist das ganz einfach. Wenn du auf den Apple Pay Button tippst, kannst du deine Karten und Versanddetails direkt überprüfen. Du willst was ändern? Einfach antippen, um deine Angaben zu aktualisieren. Dann nur noch deinen Kauf mit Face ID autorisieren und in Sekunden abschließen. Mit Apple Pay wird Online-Shopping noch einfacher.

Manchmal willst du einfach nur ans Meer oder durch die Straßen einer lebendigen Stadt schlendern oder endlich den Moment genießen. Einfach die Welt mit TUI neu erleben. Mit TUI reist du so, wie du willst. Als Familie, zu zweit oder einfach allein. Flexibel, sicher und immer mit dem guten Gefühl, dass jemand da ist, wenn's drauf ankommt. Gestalte mit TUI Urlaub ganz nach deinen Wünschen. Überall im Reisebüro, auf tui.com und in der App.

Wait, did you watch Maternal Instinct? Now let me do a warning. I'm not gonna say what happened.

Okay.

This first episode, I'm not gonna spoil it, and I will give you guys time until Monday to watch it, but then I'm spoiling it, 'cause we have to talk about what happens.

Wait, there's more than one episode?

No, there's one.

One, one. Okay, yeah, it's like an hour and a half.

I don't want to give the ending away.

Okay, yeah, because this is a big one.

This is the kind of thing where you're like, yeah, this is fucking crazy, and then it ends and you're like, oh, oh.

Well, you're just like, it's starting, and you're like, okay, like, yeah, crazy, and then you're like, she's not gonna— there's no way she—

There's—

she's not great.

Also, like, part of me was like, how did we go from A to Z? Like there was no reason for it to end the way it did. Like there's so many levels of crazy. And look, one thing about me, I hate calling a woman crazy.

Mm-hmm.

This woman is crazy.

Well, here's why I think it's so scary when women do evil things.

'Cause they're smart.

Because they're so smart. So like if you have a girl who legitimately hates your stinking guts or like wants to wish harm on you, That's one of the scariest things in the world. I'd pick a man over a girl who hates me.

That's why I primarily fight with men, 'cause knowing a girl hates you, you literally are like, she could be 10 steps ahead. Like she, I'm walking into what she wants me to do right now. Like who knows?

No, they're terrifying. Dude, I just saw a news article in that like 2 girls, I think it was like downtown. It was either downtown New York or like, or like over in, right in Jersey City. And it was like 2 girls got acid thrown on them.

What?

Yeah, just like walking down the street, that it was like a targeted attack. It was like a guy, it was 2 people on a moped. They don't know if it was girls or guys. Like that is—

Can you stop scaring people? Sorry, people are scared.

It's Friday, everyone's—

I have to be alert, you have to be alert.

Well, we've become Italian moms. She's like, once. A girl was just, just like you walking down the street, a piano hit her in the head.

No, people can get so jealous of you that rather than trying to kill you, they just wanna like destroy your life. It's very scary.

One thing that made me feel good about my enemies was I was get, you know, I was getting those quotes and how like your enemies believe in you more than you believe in yourself.

Yeah.

And I was kind of like, holy shit, you're my cheerleader. You're my everything. You're my doctor. You're my engineer. You're my Jaylen Brunson.

Yeah, but you have like normal enemies. I have enemies that are like, I'll find where you live and I'll find where your cousins live.

Wait, I love how we're debating who has worse enemies.

Oh, a kitty just jumped up.

Oh, hi kitty. I found out because I'm a Scorpio rising, someone was like, hey, Scorpio rising, people are gonna really fucking hate you. Like groups of people are gonna come together and be like, I don't fuck with her, and they're not gonna like you. And you either have to accept it and move on, or your life's gonna be a living hell. And I was like, cool, cool, cool, cool. Glad I saw this TikTok.

And because you're a Leo, you like—

I can't hide.

Yeah. And like people just gravitate toward you.

Yeah, we have different types of enemies and we trigger different things in people.

Yes.

And that's why we're best friends.

Yeah. Wait, okay, so back to this documentary.

Oh yeah. Do you wanna explain or do you want me way to start.

The one thing I want to say about it, and this is why I think that gossip is so important—

Oh yes.

They were in the smallest town in America and a bunch of people knew this bitch was nuts and no one said anything because they did not want to get involved in like gossip or drama. But like, it is so important to talk to your friends and be like, no, this is what I heard and that bitch is nuts.

I do think it's a red flag when you meet some— them— someone and they immediately start demonizing someone, whether it's a guy demonizing an ex or a— or you're someone demonizing a friend. Like, granted, there are obviously bad people, but when someone goes too hard, like, I don't like that. It should be more like, yeah, I don't fuck with her, but like, whatever, like, I wish her well, instead of This, okay, so this girl, she's beautiful, she comes, she's in the town and she meets poor Wade. Poor Wade. He just likes the farm, he stays busy all day.

He's got red hair and he's sweet.

And he's chunky and he's cute.

Yeah, and he just like wants to like do country stuff and like.

Yes.

And his friend, what about his friend that was like, I don't care what, No other folks do. I loved that so much. I was like, I don't care what other folks do.

No, that was iconic.

He was like, I would get the gossip, but I just live my life and I don't care what's going on. But then, you know, he sat there at the end and was like, damn, I should have asked one question. I should ask two questions, maybe. Oh damn. So anyway, he has pigs, he has a farm, and he's just like, I'm a hardworking country guy. I love when people from the country and people make fun of New Yorkers being like, oh, I'm from New York, which is so valid. But like, country people are like, Do you like a country song? 'Cause that's all I'm looking for in a girl. Would you listen to a country song with me and just sit out by the country and talk about the country? And talk about how those city folks are so weird, but we got the country, we got sunsets.

Yeah. And trees.

So anyway, Wade's doing his thing. She comes into his life, they like, it's quick.

Quick.

And she immediately is like, I have a lot of money, but I can't get it because of my trust, which if I had a nickel.

If I had. If I had a nickel.

Do you remember there was a man in our life that was like, I can't get a tattoo or I won't get my trust. And we were like, that makes sense. So she's a combination of a lot of mental illnesses. First, she's full, it's very conman things. And I do have to say, I'm kind of obsessed with conmen. I'm kind of obsessed because everyone else has to live with reality and they're like, I won't. I'm just not. And when you believe it yourself, that shit's real for you.

And that's why you don't align with Summer House.

And that's why I told the cameraman to step back.

No, I love people that don't live in reality. I'm like, guys, come on.

So she basically is like, I'm loaded and I'm getting you a truck 'cause I love you. So if you know a country man, there's nothing they love more than a truck. Yeah. I told you once I met these country guys and they're like, we're going to come pick you up in our truck. And I was like, a hub truck? Like, I never know what a truck— I was like, I'm from New York. Like, like, you mean like a moving truck? Like, what are you talking about? Truck? Just say SUV. Anyway, so he gets his big truck and then she wants to be sweet with the mom, so she somehow buys the mom this like really nice—

Car.

Car. Now the mom, because she's a woman, is like, Let's look into this a little, 'cause this is kind of strange that this girl's like a month in buying everyone things. And they're like, no one paid for that car and we have to take it back.

Yeah, got repossessed within like 3 weeks.

You know what it is also with con men? They go so crazy that it's like so unrealistic that you can't wrap your head around it. 'Cause then she goes, I wanna buy this like $20 million acre farm.

$4 million.

And she sits the whole family down to like present it to them that she's gonna— On Christmas. On Christmas. And they have footage. That's why documentaries are so good nowadays. They have footage of everything.

That's why Ben Stiller was like at the game with his sideways camera just getting footage.

I wouldn't have been surprised if Ben Stiller was at their Christmas holding his horizontal phone.

We're about to make history.

We're about to make history. And she's telling, she's like, I found this farm and we're gonna live. And everyone's kind of like, okay, go off. Like, we're proud of you guys.

Have we ever been to Oklahoma?

We've been to Oklahoma City.

Okay, right, right, right, right, right, right.

Which is Oklahoma. But Kansas City's not in Kansas, it's in Missouri. I digress.

Yeah, and you know what?

And you know what?

And you know what?

Whoever was going through something on that day that that got named, they go, you know how we're gonna confuse those New Yorkers, those dumb New Yorkers? We're gonna call it Kansas and Missouri. Now we're gonna throw them, they'll never find us. So then she's like, I don't fuck with my mom. Which, look, there are people who have bad relationships with their mom, totally fine, but she's like, "My mom's trying to steal my trust. My mom is the worst person in the world. My mom's evil." And the mom's nowhere to be found. In any event, the mom's not invited.

I thought we were gonna see the mom at some point.

Well, finally someone contacts the mom, and the mom is basically like, "That bitch is crazy." Yeah. She's like, "But I can't say anything." 'cause then I won't be able to see my granddaughter.

Which made so much sense.

Then we find out she has these other former friends. Do you wanna tell them about the former friends?

No, you can keep going.

Okay. So these former friends and they, 'cause you were on your phone the whole time. Well, because, 'cause I don't quite remember how they knew, how she knew the former friends. They were like, yeah, they were just like friends and one of them gets pregnant and she became obsessed with her pregnancy.

Yes, and she was just like, She was being so weird, I had to distance myself, which—

Mm-hmm.

Look, I know on this podcast we're all about like pointing out the things that men do and we're like always all for the girls, but if you get a gut feeling about a girl, that is not being not a girl's girl, that is not being like a mean girl. If you get a gut feeling about someone, 9 times out of 10, it is right.

And she basically was like, she was being so fucking weird about my pregnancy. And then she started working for a company and her boss had a daughter who passed away. She tells the boss, I had a daughter who passed away and they like bond over it. The boss somehow finds out she's lying about it. Also finds out she's never done a slick of work since she's been there. Like she's just fucking around, not doing calls, not doing meetings. But I guess she's—

Which isn't illegal.

It's not illegal. And also I'm like, go for it.

That's not the bad thing here. And that's not why she's a bad person. Wait, Hannah and I were on a Zoom.

No, I can't go on Zooms with you anymore. Like we actually—

I actually— that was my worst one. That was my worst one.

I have to pull up yours.

Texted Hannah and I go, I literally don't know what's going on in this Zoom. And then I said something during the Zoom and then I realized that everyone knew I didn't know what was going on because they laughed at me. I said, and all I said was, I'm so excited. And they go—

They're so onto you. Like, cause all of a sudden happened, then you go, I love school. Like you said something crazy. You were like—

And I said, I'm so excited too.

And they go, okay. Okay, I have an earnest question to ask you. Could you tell that I was online shopping during it?

No, I thought you were gonna text me back, but you didn't. So like, I saw you looking at something and I was like, oh, obviously something's more important. But I obviously didn't know you were online shopping.

There was, but yeah, you were like, I actually have no idea what is going on. Also, you're like obsessed with sending me invisible text messages, which is like actually giving me a next level adrenaline hit. Like now when I see one coming in, I'm like, oh, like I freak out. About, you have certain friend groups in your life that really give. Actually, shout out to all the friend groups that are out here doing the work so that like when you're in your like peaceful era, you can— like, I have a friend, her name's Allie. Yeah.

And everyone— and sometimes me and Hannah will be on the phone and I'll say to Hannah, we're, we're so, we're so vibing and we're so content and we're like, Wow, we're really like working so hard in our lives and like I just like feel real peace right now. And I'll say, why don't you text Ally? See if she's got a little something for us.

Ally keeps me fed like to the point that she'll tell me something like really upsettingly crazy and I just go, I just want you to know, thank you. Thank you for making me feel alive in my heart and in this moment. So shout out to Ally for having fun. 'Cause look, she's single.

Yeah, she's doing, out there.

She's in the streets doing work.

Yeah.

She could have been in the Knicks parade today. Who knows? She's everywhere.

Actually, one of my girlfriends was at the Knicks parade and she's my friend that I'm like, I'll text and be like, what are your girlfriends fighting about?

Well, I've actually tried to infiltrate her friend group too, 'cause she hangs out like with the Knicks fans all the time.

Yeah.

Yeah. This pod is about us finding other people that have stuff going on and then spilling it on the pod. I'm like, guys, I know a girl. You're not gonna believe this. But anyway, so finally this girl tells Wade, our little country bumpkin Wade, that she's pregnant.

Wait, I like don't hate the name Wade.

I don't hate it, but I don't love it. It's giving like Mormon. It's giving like douchey Mormon, like the cool Mormon guy who like, if he was in a normal city, everyone would be like, why does he talk like that? But in Mormon town, they're like, it's Wade. And he's like, what's up guys?

Yeah, he's like quirky and he's fun.

Yeah.

He's got like a really good personality, but he's not the cutest, but his girlfriend's gorgeous. That's like Wade from Utah.

Yeah, yeah. Also, why is his name Dakota? Like no one addresses it. The whole, no one's ever said, "Hey, how'd we get here?" Well, 'cause you're saying, 'cause you think that's a girl's name? No, just 'cause I like, that's the kind of thing you say, give me the backstory. Yeah, like you don't just let someone say my name is Dakota and you go, "Oh, obviously." No!

Wait, I need to be with you the next time you say to someone, "And why don't you give me the backstory on that one?" 'Cause there's gotta be something here. No one's just at the hospital saying, "Honey, what about Dakota?" Well, this is the thing about Dakota on Mormon Housewives.

Literally takes till the reunion for him to be like, "By the way, I was on heroin for 10 years." And we're like, "We don't talk about that." I'm like, this is a huge part of why he's brain dead. And no one talks about it. I'm like, the guy has been struggling in active addiction and everyone's just like, well, I think he's trying to survive.

Yeah, but he's also the worst.

And he's the worst.

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Das weltweite Serienphänomen ist zurück. Der Kampf um den Eisernen Thron geht weiter. Ab dem 22. Juni gibt es die dritte Staffel House of the Dragon bei HBO Max. Hier findet ihr die ganze Welt von Westeros an einem Ort: Game of Thrones, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms und natürlich House of the Dragon. Drachen kämpfen gegen Drachen, Targaryens gegen Targaryens, Intrigen, Verrat und epische Schlachten. All das erwartet euch in der neuen Staffel. Also streamt ab dem 22. Juni die neue Staffel House of the Dragon und alle Serien von Game of Thrones nur auf HBO Max.

But anyway, so she says, Wade, my country bumpkin Wade, I'm pregnant. And he's like, I didn't really want a daughter, but here we are. It's a whatever. But then she starts doing the thing where she's like, you can't come to this. You can't come to the doctor with me. She sends an ultrasound to someone that, and the date is 2016. And the lady, they just met this girl, so they're, they're like questioning everything. So they, they tell her, hey, why does it say 2016? She immediately responds and is like, oh, there was a mistake at the hospital, this happens.

Because it's like 2019, right?

I think it was after COVID.

Oh.

Maybe, I don't know, but it was past 2016. So she's, she's being a little sloppy. So people are kind of on to her. And then some photos she looks pregnant, some she doesn't. She does a whole photo shoot with a fake belly. And the craziest thing about it is Wade has never seen her stomach. He's like, she doesn't let me touch her, she doesn't let me have sex with her. How is there not one moment in those 9 months that he was like, can I see the baby stomach?

They didn't have sex for 9 months?

Yeah, Wade's like, she's not letting me touch her 'cause she's insecure, 'cause she's, she's pregnant and I respect her space. I'm like, she's just eating a lot of Cheetos.

At what point are you not having sex with your husband where like, then you're saying something? Like how long are you going?

Before you're like, oh, we should talk about this?

Yeah. 9 months?

No, no, that's crazy.

That's crazy.

Wade is busy on the farm. Wade's been on the farm and she—

I think I'm going a month tops.

Well, he said she would just like go in the bathroom and like put the shower on and then be like on her computer, like making up lies. But also in the meantime she had to make money. So what she did was she became a photographer and she became a wedding photographer.

Sometimes I, sometimes when you describe what happens in documentaries, I think, did I watch this?

That's like when Grace posts memes from the episode and literally you say things I'm like, I never heard her say that. Like the funniest line in the world, I'm like, I wasn't there for that. I didn't— don't hear your comeback.

If someone calls me after we record Giggly Squad and says like, oh, what'd you talk about on Giggly Squad? I go, I have no idea.

No, Grace is like, what should we title this? And I was like, what? I don't remember one word that we said. Like not one topic. So she does this, she meets this family and she shoots their wedding. And I guess shortly thereafter, the bride gets pregnant and they like stayed in touch a little bit. So she's pregnant, this one's saying she's pregnant. And then everyone who's doubting her pregnancy is like, okay, like what is she gonna do? It's like 7 months, 8 months.

We're nearing the due date.

Due date happens, and I think she was apparently Googling like where to adopt a brand new baby.

Like you could Uber Eats one?

Literally, she was like, fresh baby near me, like, and I guess she was trying to get— who knows? But like, how do you go 9 months without at least like having a plan of that? I don't know. But the crazy thing with this documentary is it starts her in a car getting stopped by the cops saying, "I just had a baby in my car." Now, I'm not gonna tell you guys any more information 'cause I don't wanna give it away, but shit gets really fucking crazy.

Yeah.

And I, you guys know I don't wanna drop an F-bomb for no reason, that was worth it.

One thing I will say about the documentary, all the moms that are in it that are like the talking heads that are like explaining the story to you are all the most like, so like when the girls were speaking, the women, I had to turn the TV up because everyone was so soft-spoken. Like Wade's mom, obsessed. I love Wade's mom.

Wade's mom.

And then Wade's mom's friend who was like, something's going on here, I'm gonna figure it out.

Imagine being soft-spoken. Maybe people would listen to me more.

Imagine not having the sound of a vo— of your voice just be nails on a chalkboard to some people. Like sometimes like our, okay, sometimes like our clips on TikTok from the pod will be like posted by like some random account, like not us. It'll be like a random clip they took from the pod.

Mm-hmm.

And there will be a rogue comment with, of someone who has no idea who we are.

Yeah.

Just like horrible voices. How do you listen? Like, and I'm just like, Valid.

Like, you know what I feel like, of voices, our voices aren't that bad.

No, but like everybody hates their own voice, I feel like. So when you see a comment like, her voice sucks, you're like, 9, like, okay.

That's why we change our voices sometimes. I also posted on my— I'm gonna start posting on my Instagram stories more often, like the docs I'm watching, so people— because people get annoyed when they're like, Hannah, we don't know what you're watching, and then you tell it. So I posted also there's this— you would— I don't know, you might like it. It's a model cult in New York City, um, on HBO, and it was about like this guy who was an astrologist, psychic, like former model who was obsessed with beautiful things and beautiful people, and he just wanted a cult of like really beautiful people around him. So just like—

That's just a promoter. That's a club promoter. That's a literal club promoter. He literally was a club promoter. That's any guy you meet that's like, I work in nightlife.

Literally. And this guy becomes like one of the biggest models in the world and he gave all his money to him. That's what they get you with the cults. Like somehow they convince everyone to give them their money.

So speaking of cults, are you done with Secret Lives of Mormon Wives?

I have like 6 more episodes left right now. Oh my God, Taylor's like just slept with Dakota and she— she's like preparing for The Bachelorette.

Aw, I'm sorry that you're almost done.

But I didn't realize that whole season is so like about leading up to The Bachelorette.

You felt more awful for her that they didn't air it because watching her, him so strategically like sleep with her before and—

But that's the problem of getting in bed with someone. Like if they're your actual opp.

Yeah.

Like they have everything on you and they can use it against you. So it's like, do you want someone who protects you from your darkness or brings it to the light. Why did that become a spell? But I also realized these poor girls, they didn't get breaks from filming.

No, they went right into it. I was just gonna say that. So they're not— they haven't filmed another season yet.

Well, I think for their sanity, that will be really good. But I, I really think like that's why the seasons are so good, because they didn't take breaks. So, you know, when you watch seasons of a TV show and you're like, that was a different director on that one. Or like, because it was all the same, like it all felt like every season was equal to me.

Well, now that Love Island is such a huge phenomenon both in America and like there's franchises all over the world, it makes it annoying to watch reality TV months and months later because of social media. So, you know, so much more where it's like, okay, you, they have the capabilities of being able to watch it somewhat in real time. Because I think Mormon Wives tried to do it. They did it the closest I've seen in a while. They tried. Like they filmed and then it was out and you were like, that was really fast.

But I do have to say competition shows, the storylines are easier. It's like these people stay, these people go. Where these shows, they have to like create narratives. I mean, we do know that they edit as they see what the fandom says. Like, they change narratives. So like, that is kind of doing it. But— Ooh, these editors are like— Yeah, it would be— Hey, shut the fuck up with these editors.

I think it would make more shows real because they couldn't go back and be like, let's actually not even include that in that episode because that will make her point in a later episode valid and we can't have that. That's crazy. Why would we have that?

Also, one thing about Swig, if you guys don't know what Swig is, it's this like soda company where they put like milk and shit in it and like syrup.

I never get that milk part of it, but I know.

No, but my question is, how sweet is that? They're like—

Yeah, no, you would die.

Even when people put one vanilla like thing in an espresso or a latte, I'm like, I feel like you—

when's the last time you had a sip of Coca-Cola?

Oh, I don't, I don't really dabble.

But even like a sipski?

Yeah, I'll have a sip.

Yeah, but you're never like drinking a full— if you're getting a carbonated or like a soda, you're never drinking.

I don't think I ever drank a full Coke because my mom's a dietitian. She was like, your teeth are gonna—

Oh my God, Hannah.

That's not my vice.

That's why you don't break out.

Whitney Knight Academy wants No, but oh my God, I went, you know how some coffee shops, the caffeine just hits differently?

Yeah.

I went to a coffee shop yesterday and all I wanted to do was start my day right. And I got 2 shots of espresso in a chai latte. I was being a little crazy, but like—

That's crazy for you.

I know, but like nothing that should send me to the hospital. When I tell you I was—

Yeah, out of your skin.

I was laying in the bathroom.

Hannah, 2 shots of espresso is insane. Insane.

Paige, I got home, like, I lying in the bathroom, Butter's looking at me, and I was like, I was like, get my fairies in order. Sweating, shitting myself, getting up dizzy, walking into walls. Like, that was my whole morning.

When was this? Yesterday. What time of day?

Like, I battle things that I sometimes don't— I can't keep up with everything because sometimes I want to protect you.

Well, you want to know what? We talked a lot this week.

We did, and actually, but you've been good because we'll start really gabbing and you go, we need to save for the pod, and we'll just hang up on each other.

No, we had that the other night. We had to hang up because I could have kept going.

Yeah. Um, hot take: I actually am really liking dogs right now that have like eyebrows.

Well, they have a story to tell. They have, you know, they could be the narrator of a hit Netflix show, you know, like they They have an aesthetic. They have a vibe.

He's a dapper man.

Yeah, like I love a dog with an accessory.

Yeah, like he literally got his brows done.

Like a golden retriever wearing a pair of goggles. Yeah, I'm in. I'm not a monster, okay? I'm not a monster. But am I taking you home with me?

A distinguished gentleman with his eyebrows. And then they look like they're judging you sometimes. They're like, ew. And I'm like, I love that.

Yeah, like German shepherds German Shepherds have jobs. They work for the police. Like, they pay taxes.

And they love working. Like, they wake up and they're like, let me work. Where cats are like, I don't know your name, I didn't sign up for this. Someone said, like, literally, you, you never tell your cat what to do. And it's so true.

You know what's funny about having a cat is I do feel like it is— any pet, really— it is like a little bit of a precursor to kids. Not that it's comparable at all. But like I can imagine when you're trying to like reverse psychology a child. Like when I want Kitty to stay in the room, like I have to reverse psychology her as if like I'm not gonna shut the door. So I mean, I'm just gonna like walk over here and then she comes in and then I'm like, gotcha. And like I am shutting the door so that you can't leave. There is a lot of— where like with dogs, I feel like you can just be like, come.

Yes. Sit. Shut up. No, the second the cat knows you want them to come, they're like, suddenly I'm not in the mood.

Yeah, and I'm like, and then I'm looking around and then she's looking around. The amount of times that me and Daphne are home alone looking around would send you, that would be astonishing.

Well, also 'cause cats have like ways that they do things like rituals and routines. So like Butter doesn't just sit on my shoulder. She does a whole like pretends like she's not going to, then she comes back in and then she—

They're performers.

Not that Giggly Squad is the culture. However, there's a movie coming out of, it's basically like a cat Godfather movie. Like it's a cat mafia movie. And I was like, this could not be more Giggly Squad coded. It's a bunch of cats in the mob. Did you see it?

Yeah, I almost felt like—

Give us a producer credit.

Literally, I go, how about a producer credit?

I go Italian cats.

I go, we are mafia cats. Like, I actually got like a little annoyed when I watched the trailer. I was like, okay, so you guys listen to Giggly Squad. No, so you listen to Giggly Squad. Just say it.

They were like, what if we get a bunch of cute cats who are also Italian who want revenge on each other?

Yeah, I'm like, wait, so the whole theme is revenge? Okay, okay.

But also I feel like I need to watch it. That should make me laugh. So anyway, final thought. Yeah. Big glasses, big sunglasses are back. I'm not happy 'cause I have a small head, even though my personality looks like I have a big head, I actually have a small head, not to brag, don't be jealous. But like, I can't pull off big glasses, I look like a mosquito.

You can, Hannah, you can.

Yeah, but I like little cunty ones.

Really? Because I feel like you would love the big ones if you got a good pair of big ones because you can hide your whole face with them. Like, no, it's so nice, like in the morning when you're like, I'm walking to get my coffee and you're like, I'm not trying to interact with anyone, it's like, yeah, I have my glasses on, glasses on, please.

You just feel like Paris Hilton after a night out trying to get away from the paparazzi.

It's like what a mask was in 2020.

Oh.

But the other end of your face. It's just like, please, I can't right now. We can't speak. I have my big glasses on.

What glasses are you bringing to Italy? Because I know you lost one of your glasses, and I wasn't gonna bring it up, and I held it for the whole pod.

I did lose a pair of my glasses, and I reordered them. They actually got delivered this morning. Because I hate losing things.

Yeah.

I'm doing all my Italy packing next week. I can't even think of it.

I can't, I can't talk about that, right? I can't, I can't. Well, we love you guys. Have the best weekend ever. Thanks for giggling with us, and we'll talk to you later. Bye!

Der Kampf um den Eisernen Thron geht weiter! Ab dem 22. Juni gibt es die dritte Staffel House of the Dragon bei HBO Max. Hier findet ihr die ganze Welt von Westeros an einem Ort: Game of Thrones, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms und natürlich House of the Dragon. Drachen kämpfen gegen Drachen, Targaryens gegen Targaryens, Intrigen, Verrat und epische Schlachten— all das erwartet euch in der neuen Staffel. Also streamt ab dem 22. Juni die neue Staffel House of the Dragon und alle Serien von Game of Thrones nur auf HBO Max.

Online bezahlen? Mit Apple Pay ist das ganz einfach. Wenn du auf den Apple Pay Button tippst, kannst du deine Karten und Versanddetails direkt überprüfen. Du willst was ändern? Einfach antippen, um deine Angaben zu aktualisieren. Dann nur noch deinen Kauf mit Face ID autorisieren und in Sekunden abschließen. Mit Apple Pay wird Online-Shopping noch einfacher.