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Sup, Gigglers! Gary, fix your Wi-Fi!
Manifest that shit! We can't be managed.
I mean, the day just got away from me.
What's up, my gaggle-a-giggle-gigglers? My gaggle-a-gigglers.
I'm out of breath.
You're out of breath because you were gossiping with someone in your house. Wait, that's called a drive-by gossip when you like, you're like, I don't have time but I have to tell you something really quick.
I literally said I don't have time for this, so I'm gonna make this 10-hour story into 30 seconds so you can ruminate on it, and then I'll be back and then give me follow-up questions.
Um, but we're having like a wholesome episode because we are— we spent time with our parents this last weekend. What did you do?
I went out to dinner last night with my mother, my father, and my brother.
The OGs. I love when it gets back to the OGs. You're like, we started this family.
That's so funny because my dad said that at dinner. He goes, when is it ever just the four of us?
Parents love saying that. They love doing that.
They love being nostalgic for a simpler time.
Was it an Italian restaurant?
It was an Italian restaurant. There was a Blessed Mary there, uh, so everyone was safe. It is so funny, as not that my brother has children either, but like my parents are in a spot where like they're ready for grandchildren. They're kind of like, you know, like cool, whatever you want to do, but also like we're bored.
It's like, I am ready to be a hot grandma like now.
And like they do kind of talk about Kitty as if is my child. Sometimes I feel like I'm like playing pretend. I'm like, this is my daughter. And my mom's like, tell me what she did. I'm like, Mom, this is sick. This is an animal. Like, this is not a human child.
Well, I messaged Des. I said, Butter says happy Father's Day. And he was like, okay.
Well, because like your brother has real human children.
Oh shit, I didn't tell him happy— my brother's not a dad. Like, I know he has, he has 2 and a half children, but like He's not— he's my little brother. He's not getting a Happy Father's Day. That's insane.
It is funny to think of like your siblings, even like your close friends. Like whenever I see like a TikTok or a meme or something that's like, wait, my friend is a teacher, and that's just like hilarious to me. Like it is weird to think of the people closest to you.
My little brother's a father?
Like, okay, you're child rearing? Sure, sure you are, dude.
I love looking at his daughter being like, Your dad is my little brother. I beat him up. I beat him up. Um, speaking of family, I had a realization this weekend. I was in Shelter Island with my family, and this is like— I don't know how I didn't understand this, but it hit me. We are the 5K family.
What?
Paige?
Paige?
When I tell you, it was Friday, my mom's like, come over, like, we have a fun weekend, like, let's spend time together, it's been forever. I was like, I would love to spend quality time with my parents.
Yeah, sweet.
And she goes, you know what's crazy? I'm singing the national anthem for the 5K on Shelter Island this weekend. Can you come support me? And I said, of course, national anthem, hitting that note, are you kidding? You're an icon. She goes, and maybe, maybe if we feel like it, we can walk it. Maybe if we— and I'm just like, okay, trickster. She is such a trickster. Bamboozled. Yeah, I was led astray. I get there and this bit, she's stretching a little. I'm like, that's funny, why is she stretching? And she's like, do you want a water? I'm like, why would I need a water?
Wait, was your dad there?
My dad was there, but his foot hurts, so he's just standing there. He's fucking good.
He's so good.
He's giggling looking at me. And then she's like let's look at all these little kids. Let's walk it. Let's walk it. It's fine. Let's walk it. What is—
how long is a 5K? Like, how—
it's around 3 miles, which again, what's 3 miles? Well, it's not short.
It's definitely not short.
And why are we still doing 5K? Like, we're in America. Let's do miles. Why are we suddenly European when it comes to races? But I digress.
Wait, why are we suddenly European?
I have no idea. It's like then let's start calling soccer football, right?
Like, let's change all of our measurements.
Like, any consistency. But you know what it is? It's to trick people to run these races. They're like, it's, it's just a 5K, it's just 5K. So she looks at me and she's like, let's just, let's start with a jog, and then if you're tired, we can walk. Now mind you, yes, I've been playing some tennis. Yes. No, yeah, that's all I've been doing. I was about to list like all the workout physical activity. Look, I played some tennis and that is fast twitch muscles. Do you know what fast twitch muscles are?
I don't.
I'm a fast twitch muscle girly. That means in a sprint, she's ready for step fast. Slow twitch muscles are people that can like, they run slower but they run for long periods of time. I'm all power. I can like run away from a lion, but like if they're like run with the lion for a long time, I'll be like, the lion could eat me.
And what if your knees are? I'm sitting here weighing my options and I'm like, um, you're like, do I have a twitch? I would rather not be labeled in this situation.
Me saying I have fast twitch muscles is so annoying. I'm— oh, you don't have fast twitch muscles? That's embarrassing for you.
I also feel like you made that up.
Like, no, I turned to my mom and said I have fast twitch muscles. I can't run a 5K. My muscles don't work that way. They're fast twitch. Ask my doctor.
I feel like if someone asks me to work out, I respond as if I am like your broke boyfriend that you like haven't broken up with yet. I'm like, the way my body is actually like set up is I can't access my legs right now.
But this is—
let me just explain. My mom, the bitch is fit.
Yeah, she is.
I apologize for calling my mom a bitch on this podcast, but she knows it's in an endearing way. But she deserved it this weekend because she was laughing. She loves— so she— and she looked at me and she's good at running. Like, she's, she's light on her feet. She has slow twitch muscles. She's like— so we start jogging and I'm like, okay, like, this is, this is bad. And I only have to do this for like an hour longer. And there's like little kids passing me. There's like old people passing me. Like, there's all types of people passing me and they're running. And they're running. But you know what, I'm healed. Like, I'm in my healed era where, like, back in the day, if someone passed me, I'd be like, I can't let that 12-year-old pass me, I'm gonna beat them. But now I say, you know what, that's not my journey today. But she's there and she's like, come on, let's speed it up. So we run 1 mile and I'm dying.
I mean, come on, what is this, 8th grade? Like, no.
And also I'm like, this was supposed to be a beautiful weekend of bonding. We're— by the way, no music, just silent, me and her running. Silent. And I, in my head I go, what would Paige do right now? And I go, Paige wouldn't even put herself in this situation. So I can't—
this is why I stay alert. I would have seen that line of questioning from Lenore and knew I was getting into a bad situation because in my head I was like, she wouldn't ask this of me, right? You're like, this is my mom, this is—
but she knows that I love her. And in that moment she's like so excited to jog.
Yeah.
And my fucking dad standing at the sidelines cheering.
I was just going to say, that's my favorite part of this whole story, is that your dad's like, oh yeah, my foot hurts. Like, okay, sure it does.
That is literally me and you at any event when we get asked to do something and you always are the first one to get out of it. And then I'm stuck holding the family together.
I'm like, sorry, I just got a UTI. I have to go.
And just it. So I'm— I tell her it's like embarrassing, but I'm like, And I was fit back in my day, like my mom and I used to jog together. And I said, Mom, I'm a comedian now, I can't do this. So we stopped and we're walking and she's like, okay, you ready to run again? And I'm like, okay. So we're on and off running the whole time and she's rolling her eyes at me. She's like, you're ruining my time. And I'm like, I didn't know we're doing a timed mile. That's like the number one rule that I told the gigglers I would never do. And then she was like, okay, well, don't make fun of me on Giggly Squad. And I said, well, don't do things that would cause me to tell on you on Giggly Squad.
I feel like a lot of people say that to us, and I'm like, okay, but I'm an entertainer, and what you've just given me is entertaining. And in my brain, I'm gonna tell the story in a magnificent way. You're gonna love it.
Yep. But this is my This is my experience. And look, do we protect identities from people who— of course, of course, of course, of course. However, Mom, I'm throwing your name. Yeah, all over the place because this was disrespectful. And then, well, at the very end I sprinted and I won.
Well, who were you against?
My mom. No, but I beat my mom after telling her I needed to walk the whole time, and she was like, why did you sprint? And I was like, because everyone was watching and I couldn't look like a loser.
You're like, I'm not going through the finish line with people thinking I walked it. Like, that's insane. Okay, it's so funny that we're like on walking TikTok right now, but like, I— oh my God, we got here. I went on a walk with my parents this weekend, like a couple of times, and I think one of like my biggest revelations is that my dad is He beats to his own drum. Like, he doesn't care. He's like the number one person that like doesn't care what other people are doing. He's like focused on his own, what he's doing, what his family's doing. Like, he doesn't know, he doesn't care. So like, he's never walking into a situation and feeling like embarrassed by anything because he's like, I don't know you and I don't care about you. And I learned that over the weekend when he went walking in jeans. And so that is so dad. It's so dad because I'm like, in my head I'm like, well, what would he put on other than jeans? And then I'm thinking like, I've never seen my dad— a couple things— I've never seen my dad get in bed and I've never seen my dad get out of bed.
He's just perpetually awake.
You've never seen him not in jeans?
I've never seen him not in jeans. I've seen him in like suit pant and a summer linen pant. Yeah, but like in the winter I'm thinking like, oh wait, this man only knows jeans. Yep, and he's so comfortable in them, and he's so comfortable in them, and perfectly broken in.
He should be in a, a Levi's commercial. Did I pronounce it right? Levi's? Sorry, I panicked. Wait, that's so cute. Does your dad also like when he's hanging around the house sometimes if he is wearing shorts, like, he pulls it up like too high. That's just my dad.
No, I've never seen him in shorts. Wait, what? No, the only type of shorts I've seen him in are like khaki shorts. Yeah, he might have like a white pair of linen shorts.
I kind of want to send him like a full Lululemon tracksuit, like windbreaker matching him, or like in a velvet tracksuit, like so Italian.
Don't get my brother started. He, he has zero athleisure. That's what it is. He has zero athleisure.
So he doesn't work out. What does he do to work out?
He walks and drinks coffee. His metabolism is fast.
But he is you. That's what you do.
Okay, well, that was the other thing over the weekend. Um, the segment what pissed me off this week is just talking about that segment as a whole. That's just like taken from my real personality in my real life, like of talking to my mom. Because like if I'm talking to my mom, I'm telling her multiple things that have pissed me off in the past couple of days. And this weekend I was popping off about something, like, in the comfort of my own home with my parents. And I'm like, and that could— and like, there was a lot of like, and then she did this. And so it was a lot of hands, it was a lot of facial expressions, I swore a lot.
FOMO.
But not at anyone, just like telling a story. And my family was like, it's just really crazy how like you are your dad. And you have the exact same personality. And my brother was like, I thought Dad was like really psycho, but you, you're so angry. Like, what are you so— and my dad goes, yeah, Paige, I didn't get angry till like my 40s.
Wait, I love how he's self-aware.
You know what's making me fucking angry, guys? That you think I'm angry.
I'm obsessed that your dad literally goes, one day I woke up 40 and I said, I'm fucking over this shit. I'm done with you. I'm done with you. I'm done. But the first 40 years, Gary was just like smiley, happy, whimsical.
And like, he's misunderstood, honestly. Now that they're saying that I'm like him, he's misunderstood.
But I feel like he's not scary. I feel like he's not scary at all.
No, he's not scary.
It's like Kim could be scary. Like, Lenore could be scary. That's scary.
He's more like, you're being stupid and that's pissing me off.
Yes.
Like, do it right.
But when he's always a little mad, it— it doesn't come across as mad because that's his baseline, you know? And that's his baseline, which is actually how I feel about you. Yeah, like if you're a little too happy, I'm like, did we take— did we slip a pill? Like, they just said when you were getting your eggs frozen, I didn't like that at all.
Yeah, like, or like the time that I said I was excited to see you in LA and you were like, your Paige's phone got hacked, this is a scam email, she's trying scam text me to click a link.
But Paige, this is my family. After the 5K, we go get dinner, whatever, get home, barely enough time to watch TV. And you know I like to like have decompressed TV time. Decompress, thank you. Wake up in the morning, 9 AM, we have to go play 9 holes of golf. No, she's, she's running a training camp, the 5K family that I try to protect people from, and I realize it's in my own home.
And sometimes it's right under your own nose. And sometimes it's your own family from inside the house.
And then I thought back at things and I said, oh my God. But this thing, that's why there was one ex-boyfriend in particular who I dated who was not athletic, but he was like successful in other things. And my family was like, we don't care. My dad was like, can you throw the football with a good spiral or not? And like he— and I literally had to like pull him aside and I was like, hey, like this isn't a joke, this isn't a bit, like my dad needs to see how high your vertical leap is. It's just part of like our culture. He didn't make the cut and like that wasn't my fault, it wasn't my family's fault, it was his fault.
And sometimes that happens and sometimes that's not where you're meant to be. If you're like me, then you save a bunch of workout things on TikTok and then you never go back to them. And if you do go back to them, you try and do the moves and you're just like Am I even doing this right? That's why you need Ladder. It gives you a real plan from an expert coach. So if you're looking to grow your glutes, grow your biceps, you want to find abs, or maybe you just want a plan for when you're going on vacation this summer, something easy you can do. Ladder is an expert strength training plan, and it's not a content library. These aren't influencer workouts or challenges. It's real progressive programming designed by certified coaches. And they can do any strength training style you prefer. So Pilates, bodybuilding, at-home, hybrid strength, glute-focused. Maybe you have kettlebells, you want a whole kettlebell workout plan, they can do it for you. And the app remembers your weights, your reps, and sets, so you can see yourself getting stronger over time. And your team has a group chat where your coach answers questions and members motivate each other.
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But I do think playing sports, it is good for your mental health when you're not like breaking a racket or like getting in a fight with your family or like throwing your club. But overall, I had a great time. But like, my mom tricked me into running a 5K. You know that I'm like also fragile right now.
Yeah, she used to be more like open when she was telling you she was doing something, and now she's gone on full trickery.
Now she's doing full witchcraft.
Remember during COVID how fit you were though?
Because— oh my God, she made me go on so many walks. Oh my God, she was feeding me like best nutritional food.
Wait, remember during— remember when you got your appendix out? I feel like we moved on from that like so quickly.
Like, I know it was like 5 years ago, but like, just send some love my way. Okay, speaking of love, great segue.
Of course, like, of course I was like so angry when they put Love Island USA on at the same time that Love Island UK was on, because I was like, I can't do two Love Islands at the same time. That's like— I have a family, like, I can't be watching 50 episodes. So I was like, let me start Love Island UK and I'll let Love Island USA rack up a couple, whatever. I start Love Island UK, but then I'm on TikTok and everyone's talking about Love Island USA. So I'm like, okay, let me just like give it a go. And here I am now watching two Love Islands.
You have so much on your plate right now. Are you—
wait, thank God I'm going on vacation next week because I have so much TV, you know. I'm being the anchors in which I am beholden to my bed right now because I have two Love Islands.
Also, you can't just watch the shows, you have to get opinions.
Like, you have to immerse myself in the culture. Yeah, I actually would like to take back my stance that I was annoyed that they were on at the same time. I actually think it has been so interesting to watch Love Island UK around the same ages— maybe some are a little younger, some a little older— and Love Island USA at the same time. Again, same ages.
I want to be gentle. I'm trying to be gentle.
I'm trying. I'm finding it.
I'm finding it. That's what I tell Lois when she goes to pet a cat, and I'm like, gentle, gentle, gentle.
Gen Z. Because here's the thing, Love Island USA, this is now the first batch really of— they're all Gen Z. Every single one of them is Gen Z. I think the oldest one is 29, and that's like an older Gen Z. But like the girls that are early 20s they're there. During COVID these poor kids were in high school, so they're not having a traditional experience.
Do they mention that on the show?
Uh, no, not really, I don't think. Well, people were posting things of them from high school, and someone was like, this is COVID, like during COVID Because my cousin who had COVID during high school.
Yeah, she fully is like self-aware and she's like, our being naughty was just like going outside. Like, yeah, you guys were like experiencing things.
I think there's multiple, multiple factors happening. I think there's like the self-aware of people that are like, we didn't experience sneaking out, getting caught drinking, going to a field.
They had meeting new people.
They had Ring cameras. Their parents were tracking them. It was a totally different experience. Also add in COVID. But the USA version, like, the one girl used the term lustful the other night, and I— since this is a religious podcast because we talked about religion like the past two— I was like, what 22-year-old girl is being like, I'm not Mormon wife? She goes, I'm not lustful. And it's like, babe, you're on Love Island. All we want you to do is lust over everyone. They— every single couple is the same from the day they got in there, which is unheard of in the Love Island world. They're about to go to Casa Amor and it's like, where are they? Are you guys even gonna—
well, I know that one girl came in, she's so pretty, so— and then Sol, and then she just got kicked off and she was like, it's okay, I've been to 10 schools and like I'm used to people not accepting me.
Here's the other part Love Island is about watching them form connections. And so you're interrupting me in the middle of my dissertation.
No, I'm laughing that like you are the mouthpiece.
Oh, I'm so passionate. Sorry, I was like an OG 2015 watcher.
I'm passionate.
And UK is very like— currently their season is sticking to the original model. Like it shows more conversations, it shows people falling like for each other. And here's the other thing, they're all very honest in the UK. Like, they're saying to each other, these are my top 3, like, this is who I'm going after. And the girl who's coupled with that person could be sitting right there, but they're all very open and honest. USA, the girls are all feel like they're faking it, like, with each other and their partners.
Oh, interesting.
The next thing I would like to say There's two men. There's two men on Love Island.
You're about to speak about a man by your face.
There's two men on Love Island USA. And look, if they said this season is for the bisexuals, I'd be like, hell yeah, let's see some— let's see some switch-ups with the girls and the guys. But what's happening currently right now is there's two gay men on the show.
Was that the ones checking out each other's wieners? Sorry, I've never said wiener before in my life.
He said, and let me quote this, girth check, opens his pants, guys, guy looks in, does like a good facial expression. Cut to next scene, the guy says, would you think about what you saw? Other guy responds, long. Other guy goes, I wasn't even like fully erect, I was at a semi. I go, what, what's happening here? I go, are we like Are you guys trying to make us feel stupid?
These guys—
be what you want, be together though, but like, don't come and trick us.
Bisexual Love Island, I would love it. That would be amazing.
I would love it.
That would— why is that not a thing? Wait, so are you saying you like the UK better show?
Yeah, but I've always liked UK better.
Sometimes it's bad luck with a group.
Totally.
This year's casting was, was interesting because sometimes like a group mentality forms where like someone is being a little like, this is how I feel, and then everyone's like, oh, I guess we have to do that. Where if one person— that's like what they say with stand-up comedy, if there's one like really good laugher, everyone else feels like they can laugh. So if you have someone in the group that's holding people back, that could be a bad, bad thing. Um, but I love the honesty of the UK.
The UK is so honest, and they're having like conversate— like they should show you more of their conversation so you can feel when people are like falling for someone else or whatever. USA is also— it's almost like they're very aware of how you win the show and who becomes an influencer, which of course they all want to be influencers. Yeah, but I think that's why they're all sticking with their original partner, and it's like, okay, but that's not the point.
Like, oh, because they want people to like stan their relationship?
Yeah, but they all did it, so it's like, we, we know that you all don't like each other.
Because if you leave, then you could be a villain if you say like, I'm not into this anymore. And then people are mad at you.
It's also like, that's what the game is.
Are they having sex in the villa?
Some of them are, yeah.
What's also funny about people dating in their early 20s, like, Love Island would be so different with people in their 30s because first of all, like, you know exactly what you want. Like, you talk to a guy for 3 seconds and be like, I'm so sorry, I don't want to waste your time here. Yeah, I can't do this. I've done this actually already and it wasted 3 years of my life. I can't do this with you and you're not going to change and you're already 34. So like, we already see what we have to see and then it's like like with the— with your 20s, no one knows who they are. So how do you know what you want when you don't even know— like, well, they don't know what they want.
That's why I would love if this season was just like fully bisexual, because I'm like, they're, they're pointing it right in our face. There's no way the editors don't know that we're thinking that. They're picking these like clips to show on the show and it's like, wait, they should just be a couple. I love that for them though. Like, if there's anyone that loves a guy that loves another guy, it's me, honey. You could tell me.
It's Pride Month.
Yeah, hello.
Literally the best month of the month.
Anyway, so I've been deep in like two different versions of Love Island. It's so intense. And then my brother made me start this show with him, so I watched four episodes this weekend.
Can I guess?
Yeah.
Widow's Bay?
No, but on Apple TV.
No idea.
Cape—
Cape Town.
Cape Fear.
Oh, I do have to say Apple TV doesn't put out a lot.
Their quality, not quantity, honey.
Top notch.
I'm watching this show and it is one of those shows where you're like, oh yeah, these are good actors. Like, the acting in it is so— and I'm not one that like loves a thriller. It's not really my vibe. But, um, Martin Scorsese is like the director, and the main guy is— I always forget his name, but he's married to Penélope Cruz. What the heck is his name?
Oh, Javier Bardem. Yes. Yeah, that's my friend.
Is it?
I interviewed him once. Oh, I'm like, how do you know Javier Bardem? Me and Javier are going back.
People don't talk about them enough as a couple. Like when, you know, when people are like, oh my God, my celebrity couple, if they break up, I'll die. Like, no one mentions them. It should be them.
Well, they're like so good looking, but it's an example of if you want to stay out of the spotlight, you can.
Well, I don't think they live in America.
Exactly.
Like, think about this. The odds of both of them becoming as famous as they are and like getting together and they both like speak the same language. It's just like very— I think their story is very beautiful and no one ever talks about it. And they have kids. Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen their kids.
I love them.
I think they have a boy and a girl. I love them. So anyway, I'm watching that show and it's really scary and weird, but I like it.
I watched The Gilded Age, the first couple episodes, with my mom. Who are you? Well, my mom was making me do all these things that I don't normally do. Um, the outfits are so chic.
They were just filming in Albany, New York, honey.
Oh, people don't talk about back then, like, if you were rich, you had a ballroom. How cunty is that?
You had a ballroom and you were like, had to throw a party at least once a year.
And they were obsessed with charities, like having charity parties. And basically how all the New Yorkers who were like old money New Yorkers didn't like in 1890 when the new money New Yorkers came in. They were like, you're a new money bitch.
Or how about the how they talk about like downtown. They're like, no, I'm not going downtown, that would be insane. And it's just like the— it's the best show ever. That's another show where the acting is phenomenal.
Carrie Coon, is that her name? I fucking love her. And the older lady whose sister's Cynthia Nixon cracks me up. She hasn't smiled once.
And I love Carrie Coon as a brunette.
Obsessed with her as brunette. Also, name drop I went to high school with Louisa Jacobson, and Louisa and I were in a play together, and her mom is Meryl Streep, and Meryl Streep watched me in a play. Did anything come of it? No. Was it possibly the worst day of her life? It could have been. But Meryl Streep was watching me act back in the day.
Imagine Meryl Streep having to sit down and watch your performance of anything. Like, I would be I'm like, no, I can't do it in front of— imagine Meryl Streep was like, let me come to Giggly Squad live. I'd cancel the whole tour.
Wait, I'd be like, Meryl Streep, can you just turn your head right now? I can't take this. I can't focus right now.
You actually can't come to Giggly Squad.
No, Louisa was on the tennis team with me. And yeah, just so funny, like how you never forget a face. Like, she actually looks the same as she did in high school. And, um, that's my claim to fame. That was my claim to fame. And when I was— when I went to Poly Prep for 2 years, and that was where there were a lot of like richer families that were there. And I was on my little tennis scholarship, and that's when a girl lost her Chanel. And I asked the teacher who Chanel was. I said, Chanel's lost, can someone find Chanel?
Oh my God, they were like, who's this alien that just transferred?
Who's sending their fucking 13-year-old with Chanel earrings to school?
Okay, they could be vintage, like they could be, but that's so New York. That's very New York City. Yeah.
Also, I don't understand time periods. Like, I'm like, anything before 2000, I'm like, that was the 1800s.
Yeah, I love a period piece though. You know I love a period piece.
But like 1890, I didn't realize the colors these women would wear because I guess all the photos— did they have photos? Were like black and white. So like, I didn't realize they were wearing like vibrant colors all the time.
Oh yeah, I guess I've never thought of that.
She's in like some purple-ass dress. I'm like, I didn't know they had purple in 1890.
Oh, you thought they were all just wearing black?
I thought everything was black and white. I'm just kidding, but I didn't— I didn't— I thought it would be like light colors, like a light pink or like a light, light blue. These bitches were wearing orange.
They were also wearing like— like they were getting dressed in the morning, like they had to corset up, they had to like do a skirt, do a dress over. Yeah, then you had to get your hair done.
Like, I would have hated it.
Are you kidding?
The—
my—
I would have been like, I'm out, Hannah.
My dream is to have a lady's maid, like someone who— are you fucking kidding me? You know I love a period piece, so like I've done so— I know so many ladies' maids, like characters.
Are this— is that like she just goes around with you to make sure everything's okay.
Yeah, she just like literally vibes with you, and she— it's basically like your assistant, and it's just like your friend, and she comes in, she helps you get dressed, and she helps you get undressed, and you gossip with her. She helps you do your hair, she like helps you find the latest fashion, and if you're not married, she like chaperones you. So she could like get into mischief with you. And I just feel like in a past life, I either was a lady's maid or I had a lady—
had a lady's maid.
Because I feel very connected to the ladies' maid situation.
I feel very connected to a, a DL jester. Yeah, no, but corsets were like unsafe.
Okay, you know what's also crazy about like watching Gilded Age is that's Anderson Cooper's family.
Like, people don't—
people don't— people don't enough talk about it. Like, that's literally— he is the descendant of the Vanderbilts. And I'm pretty sure that's crazy. Could you imagine? Could you imagine being able to— like, remember when you were obsessed with that Mormon website for a minute? Oh my God, what was that Mormon website you like literally went on and on about?
FamilySearch.org. And everyone got like a virus from it. Everyone's Social Security numbers have been stolen, but we learned a lot.
Imagine being able to just like Google your family's history like so easily, like him, like like, well, the Gilded Age is cool because it's all actual people, right?
Like the Astors.
Yeah, the Astors were real people. The Russells are based on, I think, the Vanderbilts.
They—
the Russells aren't a real family, I don't think, but the Astors are real.
It's also so funny, like, she gets this like corner mansion and they're all like, who'd you get to as your architect? And she's like, some guy from France. And I'm like, rich people are always the same. Like, that's the same conversations rich people— they're like, oh, who did your home decor? Yeah, who did your— who did your gardening? Also, they had— they had horses. Yeah, and they sent cunty little letters to each other. Like, it seems like roommates.
Like, well, they would have a footman. A footman would like bring your letters to different— my ears are ringing.
And the Dr. Gigglers would say, get that checked.
Okay, and some bitch better shut up about me.
See, I always assume it's an ex-boyfriend, not a girl.
I don't know, none of my ex-boyfriends like can form sentences.
So do you know what's so annoying about my ex-boyfriends? Hmm, a crazy high percentage of them, and I'm not trying to brag, it's more like because they're— I don't know what type of guys they are— do not have social media or like any online presence. Like the last thing they have is like their high school sport they played. And every now and then I try to check up on some of them and I'm like, where like ghosts, like literal ghosts. But it means they're straight.
I think we're so same same but different because like I also haven't seen any of my ex-boyfriend's social media in years, but that's because I'm fully blocked. So like I don't know if they have social media or not. I have not taken a gander. I have not even looked. Also, I feel like you get to a point where like It's, it's even past the point of icked out by that person. You literally forget that they exist. So like, if you see something, you're like, oh my God, good for you, but you're still kicking.
Completely different man than I am.
Yeah, I'm like, I actually don't even know who that person is.
And like, the one thing, if you really want to find something though on an ex, yeah, find his mom's Facebook and you'll find a really bad photo of him at Thanksgiving. Like, That's the tea.
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Not to be annoying, but I have to bring up my grandpa.
Wait, how did I know you were just about to do that? You get a certain look in your eye.
I go, and now it's the segment of the week. Things I want to say about my grandpa.
No, I feel like your grandpa's in heaven right now being like, shut the fuck up, let me rest in peace.
Get over it.
I said I loved you like a couple times. Stop summoning me.
No, so my mom and I are on Shelter Island. Shelter Island's triggering for me because my grandpa's house is like across the street from my parents' house, so I have to walk passed his house.
It's like, yeah, that is sad.
So I was talking to my mom, basically, like, we were walking, doing our mental health.
You guys are doing a Ouija board? Lenore doing a Ouija board, she'd be so teacher about it. She'd actually be great.
She'd be like, she'd be like, shh, A, B, C, D. We have a sus. No, so we're walking and we're talking about Grandpa Jerry and a car speeds by us. Now Grandpa Jerry famously drove a little too long in his life.
Hated speeding.
He had a car too. No, he was 92 and he was driving crazy on these roads. So like you'd see a crazy— you'd be like, there's Grandpa Jerry. And he had a blue Mazda that was like a very unique car that no one had. As we're talking about Grandpa Jerry, a car starts speeding by and it's a blue Mazda. And it was to the point that I wasn't like, oh, that looks like his car. It felt like I was in that moment watching my grandpa drive past me.
Oh my God.
And both my mom and I are like, that's Grandpa's car. And this is a small island. There's like 7 people on this island.
What did you do with this car? Like, where is his car?
Oh, I have no idea. But like, it wasn't like given to— actually, I have no idea. I should check that.
Like, does someone on Shelter Island have his car?
No, I don't think so. But like, it was crazy.
And that is so interesting.
And then we like, we're starting the race and someone on the mic is like saying people's names and they just say Grandpa Jerry. In like really— it was like Stephanie Pierce, Layla Thompson, Grandpa Jerry. Like it was really weird.
Did you just name real people? No.
Oh, but I did come up with—
I feel like I know a Stephanie Pierce. Wait, that's kind of crazy. And like it is— it was Father's Day weekend.
It's Father's Day. And then my dad said he went to go shopping, and there was a guy who looked just like Grandpa that needed his help. And I was like, I think like Grandpa just partied with us this weekend.
Yeah.
And Grandpa loves when I play golf.
Wow. I have an astrology reading on Thursday.
Like, I'm so excited.
So excited. I should have given him your birthday.
I'm gonna say I'm selfishly excited because I always like what they tell you about your best friend, your business partnerships, obviously. Like, how the vibe. I'll give you all my info. Oh, I think I like— I think I figured out Dez's phone password, phone number.
I think I figured out who Dez is.
No, wait, wait, do you know of a fucking husband named Dez? His name is Desmond. He has real name's Desmond.
What is Dez's middle name? Desmond what?
Ryan. So I got nervous. I got nervous that I was not gonna know. He's so, so Irish. But, um, oh yeah, I was always like, oh, Butter!
Butter!
Wow, what an OG Giggly Squad crewneck.
Wait, should we make this again? Where is the squad? Country Club. Butter, say hi to the Gigglers.
No, we should remake that because I don't know where mine is.
So I told Des I want to read his chart, and he told me he doesn't know when he was born. And I'm like, I can't go to the archives of like 1872, I'm not gonna find it.
Where's his birth certificate?
Who knows? But I can't ask his mom. Anyway, so I, I waited a long time, and now of nowhere I was like, do you know what time you were born? And he told me. So he was holding back on me because he didn't want me to read it.
So he did know.
So he did know. So I can't trust anyone around me now. I'm forgetting. I think it was like 1:50 AM.
What time were you born?
12 PM in the afternoon.
Yeah, Hannah was born at like 1.
Wait, I was born at the same time.
We're like, but we're actually gonna sleep in quick.
We ride at not dawn.
Yeah, we're like, um, why don't you have breakfast and then we'll rendezvous and see what's going on.
Wait, when I was watching Mormon Housewives, they were like talking about being pregnant together and I literally got emotional thinking about us. At one day we might be pregnant together.
Well, you know what I think about in terms of that that stresses me out is because like at any given point ever, because you're married and you're an adult woman, you could call me at any time and be like, hey, I'm pregnant. And then, not to make it about me, I'll have to scramble. Like, I'll have to go get my eggs. Yeah, I'm gonna have to see if they're okay.
You call, you go, it's time, time to defrost.
I'll literally just— I'll have to do it.
You're basically saying like you're not gonna let me do it alone if I do it. Like you'll speed up the process. Like if next week I was like, I think I may be pregnant, you'd be like, okay.
I'd be like, okay, give me a month, let me get my affairs in order because I can't, I can't just I'm like, hold on, I'm on my period right now. Give me one week and I'm in. Wait, how sick is that? Imagine if you called me and were like, I'm pregnant, and I'm like, okay, coming. Like, okay, I will too. Like, okay, I'm coming.
In friend groups, I think like someone gets pregnant and they make someone else want to get pregnant, and it kind of like can go through a friend group a little bit.
Anywho, anywho, Hannah's not pregnant. Her grandpa is still dead. And Lenore's a personal trainer. So that's what happened this weekend.
Um, okay, now just to look forward, when are you going to Italy? Where are we at with the outfits? I'm stressed out. Like, do you need my help?
Okay, so this week I'm like, I'm slowing work down, okay? I'm just doing like meetings and Zooms. I'm not like getting ready and going anywhere. Yeah, I'm not performing anywhere. I'm just doing like my regular stuff, and I'm also doing my maintenance stuff. So like I'm getting my nails and toes done this week. I had a little trim on my hair last week.
Your pony looks really cute.
Thank you. My hair's so greasy, I haven't washed it. I'm getting my lymphatic drainage massage.
Who are you trying to look hot for?
This is just like my pre-vacations. This is my pre-vacation stuff. I wash all spray tan off because I like to go no spray tan. Oh, so I can get a good base. And my outfits, I have been like ordering stuff, but I have not looked at everything as a whole. And so on Friday and Saturday will be like my Picasso days where I'm like, what about this with this? And let's take a picture in this and see if these shoes work.
Kim is so tired already. I could tell Kim is like, she's exhausted.
Well, Kim also like, Kim packs for Kim, and then Kim packs for my dad, and then sometimes my 38-year-old brother will say, hey, what should I bring? And she'll say, oh, don't worry about it, I'll do it. And so that's like kind of what I'm trying to avoid as a wife and mother. I like— that is like one of my top things that like I'm not packing for anyone.
Your brother's smart. I've done that before with the, can you just help me start?
Yeah, no.
And next thing you know, you're like, thanks.
Have you ever packed for Dez? Yeah, sorry, why did I ask you that? Yeah, that was like offensive. It's like, do I know you?
I remember like Dez's stuff was on the floor and I was like You know, pick that up. I'll pick it up and put it away, but like, I'm telling him that's what I did.
Yeah, I'm trying to weaponize my incompetence.
Yeah, like if he thinks he could leave stuff on the floor and I'm just gonna pick it up after him, that's, that's not how we play this game. But then again, I do occasionally. I'm like, your stuff is on the floor, and he's like, so is yours. And I'm like, okay, touche, two can play at that game. I'm excited to see, because this is a a whole new summer for you what the little themes are going to be like? Is there gonna be chrome? Is there gonna be butter yellows? Is there gonna be— What kind of sunglasses? I'm just itching to know.
Yeah, I don't know because last year, like every year before, I always have one outfit in my head that I'm like, 'I'm so excited to wear that on vacation,' and I don't have one of those yet.
Do you feel pressure like you have to beat last year?
Yeah, I always feel pressured every day.
Hey hey listen! Hey look at me! Hey hey! Don't put that on yourself.
There might be—
don't put it on yourself.
This is the longest we're going— we've ever gone for. We're going for 2 full weeks, so there might be a whole week that I don't even appear online, which I think— unless my outfit is really good, but I'm not even gonna post it real time. I'm gonna re— I really am gonna try and take one whole week. Yeah. Of nothing on my phone.
Gorgeous.
And me and my mom looked at each other this weekend and we were like, we really— we need to connect on this trip. And she looked at me and she goes, we're gonna hold hands a lot and talk.
And I was like, I wish my mom would do that. Instead she tricks me. My mom was like, you know, it'd be fun giving you a fucking hernia. She was so— at one point she was like, are you okay? And I'm like, No, she's like, what's hurting? I'm like, literally everything. And she's like, are you out of breath? I'm like, yeah, plus my legs, plus my arm, plus my lower back. Oh, Lenore. But no, holding hands with your mom is so cute.
No, it's so sweet.
She's so sweet. So just so the gigglers know, the next 2 weeks the episodes are going to be a little chaotic because Paige is going to be in a different time zone in Italy, and it's going to be fun. Like, it's going to be crazy. We're going to feel like we're a Euro summer together.
Was it last year that we were on a Zoom and I was in Italy and I fell asleep? Is that a whole— that was a whole year ago. Wait, we've never even told the story.
I'm—
we're on a Zoom with Amy Poehler and I'm in Italy, and we were like doing something, and you texted me and you go, you're literally falling asleep. And I'm like, it's— I'm so jet-lagged, I don't— I can't even keep my one eye open.
I think it was like 2 or 3 AM though, your time.
Yeah, like it was like we had a really important meeting and I was like, of course I can do it. I'm just like—
and you know, you had too— a little too much pasta that day and your body was like, let me—
I was like, no, I'm awake, I'm listening. Actually, like, that was the scariest moment of my life. I'm like, I'm falling asleep and Amy Poehler—
I'm like, I was like, how could you do this to me right now? Question mark. No, all I do is screenshot your face during Zooms. It's my favorite thing to do because I'm like, you can see yourself, like you can see the face you're making and you're still doing it. That's— and I know you're staring at yourself. That's the funniest part of it. That's the funniest part.
Who's to judge me? Me.
Me. The whole time I'm staring at you like, oh, oh, and she's— yep, she's bringing out her microcurrent device. You're like, oh, big yawn, big yawn.
Like when your pet yawns, I'm like, "Oh, you piggy, yawn." She just woke up from a nap, but look how pretty she is. Literally me getting on a Zoom is you talking to Butter. That's like how you speak to me. Like, no sudden movements, she just woke up.
Also, last Zoom I fully got out of the shower and went on the Zoom. Like I was a wet, full wet rat. And everyone looks at you weird, and I'm like, sorry for—
no, I looked at you jealous. I was so jealous. Well, if it's after 5 o'clock, I could be anywhere. Yeah, I could be anywhere doing anything.
Oh God.
Um, Gigglers, we love you so, so, so much. Talk to you soon and have an amazing week.
Bye!
Das weltweite Serienphänomen ist zurück! Der Kampf um den Eisernen Thron geht weiter! Ab sofort gibt es die dritte Staffel House of the Dragon bei HBO Max. Hier findet ihr die ganze Welt von Westeros an einem Ort. Game of Thrones, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms und natürlich House of the Dragon. Drachen kämpfen gegen Drachen, Targaryens gegen Targaryens, Intrigen, Verrat, und epische Schlachten. All das erwartet euch in der neuen Staffel. Also streamt jetzt die neue Staffel House of the Dragon und alle Serien von Game of Thrones nur auf HBO Max.
Online bezahlen? Mit Apple Pay ist das ganz einfach. Wenn du auf den Apple Pay Button tippst, kannst du deine Karten und Versanddetails direkt überprüfen. Du willst was ändern? Einfach antippen, um deine Angaben zu aktualisieren. Dann nur noch deinen Kauf mit Face ID autorisieren und in Sekunden abschließen. Mit Apple Pay wird Online-Shopping noch einfacher.
Hannah was bamboozled by her own mom and Paige has thoughts on Love Island.subscribe to our newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.