Transcript of Giggling about virginity, confessionals, and cheating New

Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.

What's up, my OG Antonovi gigglers? You know who OG is?

Uh, the guy from The Next.

Paige is in a really difficult spot right now because everyone in her life is really happy about the Knicks, and she was happy for like 3 seconds and then she's moved on.

No, I've moved on.

She's worried about her pedicure. She's worried about other things happening where I have— I am still shaking. Look at my hand. Look at my hand. You can't see it on audio. Look at my hand. It's shit. I'm— I can't— everyone's going about their day. I'm like, how are people going about their day right now?

Here's the thing about me and Hannah. We have a schedule. We're scheduled people. But sometimes our schedules will change a little and we'll text the other and say, hey, do you want to do this earlier because something changed in my schedule? And typically— and I love that, and I love that, that we can do that with each other— and typically it works, our schedules work. But sometimes it's like someone has a work thing, someone has another call, can't do that. Oh, I have to go, I'm traveling, I'm on a flight, whatever.

But today I said No, wait, so we're all texting in the morning and I realize I have like an hour before a call we both have to be on. So I was like, do we want to knock this out right now? Like, I wrote the cutest, like, should we be crazy and just knock out Giggly Squad this morning? And Paige just writes, no. And no one says anything after. And then I go, tell me how you really feel.

Jesus, sorry for trying to bring joy and laughter and lightness to the community because I feel like I'm always moving I schedule around, and this has nothing to do with you. I always feel like I'm moving my schedule around accommodating people, like, whatever. And today I had to get a pedicure, and I said, you know what, no, I have scheduled— no, I'm getting a pedicure, and I have to— like, I can't.

I'm getting better at saying no to people, but like, not really. I'm still getting myself in insane situations that people are like, all you had to do was say no.

No, I know, because you want to know what? I've been saying yes to a lot of things, and then I've been going back and being like, actually, no, I'm not doing that.

And you know what? You can change your mind, and that's called freedom of speech. And actually, I've never not changed my mind in any situation. I've never made a mind and not changed it.

Yeah, you're the queen of that. Sorry, Kitty's like rolling around on her back, like looking up at me. Upside down and it's—

well, you guys, I've been traveling, so, you know, Butter decided she's following me all around, so she's literally sitting just listening in. Like, she's, she's like, we're podcasting now.

I love just like at any given point there's a cat around me like napping somewhere.

They do protect us from, um, evil spirits.

Um, I have to bring up something important from the last pod that girl made a TikTok about and was laughing at us.

Oh, is it about the World Cup? Okay, how are you supposed to know that?

Okay, wait, I did know that. Like, I knew— we knew that it was multiple games.

What do we not know?

I thought that the big game, like the most important one, is in New Jersey. Is that right?

What'd she say?

She said— she was like, they girls thought that there— it was one game and we asked them to come to New Jersey. She was like, it's all over the country. I thought it was all over the world. I knew that they were like, all games were all over the world. I just thought that the biggest one was going to be in Jersey.

See, I like that we're starting conversation about women in the arts. Like, that's all our job is. And I love that the women stood up and said, actually, let's live and let's, let's learn. Yeah. And that's what she did. So thank you. Thank you, whoever showed us what— I don't— I didn't hear it, but basically there They're all over America and New Jersey is one of them.

Like, for example, today at 10 PM, South Korea is playing.

Oh, it's happening right now.

I don't know who this team is.

It's happening right now. I can't keep up.

Yeah, like tomorrow the USA is playing Paraguay.

Where are you looking right now?

Just on Google. www.google.com.

Ask Jeeves. Um, can I please— let me start. Let's talk about the Knicks in the very beginning and then I'll move on, I promise.

Okay.

Okay, so I was alone last night and I'm so excited. Watch the Knicks, all comfortable, me and butter already. And let me just say, the thing with the Knicks is that like the Knicks have been so bad for so long, like it was like a joke in New York where they'd say like when things would get awkward, you're supposed to be like, how about them, those Knicks? So you could bond over like complaining about how— are you yawning already?

Sorry, I just started. The phrase was how about them Yankees.

Actually, wait, I think it's both. Actually, I was kind of making up a story.

Yeah, I think it could be any team, any—

but anyway, the Knicks suck. And see, this city—

this is what I— this is exactly what's wrong with sports fans. You guys are so dramatic about every little thing.

Like, truly, like, my adrenaline is through the roof. I'm like, I haven't been able to focus on anything. I feel like Regina George— no, Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls— when I'm like, I can't stop talking about it. I can tell everyone around me is annoyed with me, but I guess I got it. But it's also sad though, because everyone's so happy, but like the miracle win. But then deep down I'm like, if we lost, like, that would have been so fucking sad.

You know, all I kept thinking about during it was your pedicure. Is Taylor Swift really gonna get married here? Like, every time this screen would show her, and then I saw on TikTok this girl was like, I think people are picturing like MSG, like her getting married on the stage. Like, I don't think people can picture that she would decorate MSG, that it would be like unrecognizable.

She literally was wedding planning. She was like, why are all these men at my wedding venue?

I think that they already got married in like a secret ceremony and they're just throwing a party this summer.

I do have to say, her showing up with the Haim sisters with matching shirts that they made is so fucking cute.

I'm saying next to Mariska Hargitay, like, I like people who have fun.

Like, I, I have trouble with it, but when I see other people like get— like, imagine if me and you like pre-planned a like matching— like, we, we don't have—

never happen.

That would never happen. But it's so cute that they were able to do that.

That's not who we are as people though.

No, but if I had a friend who was like ahead of the game, yeah, I could possibly Like, one of them—

just give me— yeah, just give me more tasks.

Yeah, it's friend homework. I watched into the third quarter, and I'm human, I can only handle so much. Yeah. And I was like, a lot of pain. And I was like, I had a day already, I don't need this. So after Cat got elbowed in the face and they were down by 29 points, I said, I need boundaries, I'm turning this off. Like, out of respect for my Knicks. I need to—

you didn't want to watch them lose?

No, I couldn't. No, I turned it off. I couldn't. And the Madison Square Garden was silent. Also, I didn't pay $40 grand for tickets. I don't have to watch it. Sorry, Paige just did like a cartoon yawn.

She was like, hoo. Do you know, once I met a boyfriend that would be like, you're so ugly when you yawn. Like, like, cover your mouth.

Wait, I wanna— I will literally beat his ass.

Whatever, it doesn't even matter.

But New York City is the hub of basketball, of hip-hop, of culture, and it's like crazy that we've been so bad for so long. So anyway, I turned off, and I think I was actually watching Mormon Housewives, and I'm scrolling my phone, and like 30 minutes later I see someone just write OMG Knicks. So I'm like, that's funny, like let me just check what the score is. And it was 100 to 104. We were still losing, but I was like, that must be the wrong game. We're down by 30. I'm— it's like 11 PM at this point. I put it back to the Knicks. I'm freaking the fuck out all alone. Everyone's asleep. My dad, you, everyone's gone. So I'm just alone.

I was awake. I was awake.

Oh, I just assumed you didn't care.

No, of course I care. It's a cultural moment that I want to be involved in. I don't want to look, but I had such anxiety watching it. Like, I couldn't— I was like, okay, I have to look away. I did get interrupted because I personally was watching a Netflix show while it was— and then I had to turn the channel because I didn't want to be out of the loop. But I started watching— it's called Shrill.

Yeah, that was on Hulu before. I love it. Is it good? Oh my God, well, we love her.

I'm obsessed with her. Aidy Bryant. I thought it was gonna be like— it's definitely a comedy, but it's like a little bit more serious than I thought, and I love it.

I love it.

Wait, this is the last thing about the Knicks. Yeah, over-under, how many times did you think about your grandpa during the game?

Why would you say that? I was like, that was my grandpa who scored. That was my grandpa who came in like a little angel and put the ball in. Defense wins championship!

No, because why right when the buzzer, like, they win, I thought Hannah's grandpa would have I literally have to stop the pod right now.

I literally have to stop the pod right now. No, Jerry, Jerry, all he did was watch the Knicks. I really did.

Jerry Seinfeld? More like Jerry Berner should have been there. Wait, I didn't tell— actually, obviously, like, me and Josephine are obsessed with Kitty, and Taylor came up with this, like, alter ego for Kitty when we are in glam, because Kitty loves glam, and so we call her Mimi LaRue. And so one day Josephine was like, wouldn't it be so funny if I like booked you at a hotel under Mimi LaRue?

Totally. Is it R-E-A-U-X?

Um, no, it's Mimi, M-I-M-I, L-A, capital R-U-E. Mimi LaRue.

Oh, got it.

So I get to the Four Seasons in California, and I was like, hey, um, I'm checking in. I like gave my name. I was like, I don't— it could— this is the name of the girl that could have made it. And she was like, okay, I'm not seeing that, but I am seeing a Mimi LaRue.

Did she just do that to mess with me?

She just did it because she thought it was like gonna be funny.

Or like, yeah, but if you didn't know, you could have like not gotten—

and I was like, yes, okay, so that is actually me, but my name is Paige DeSorbo, and she booked it under Josephine, like, and gave her email. And she was like, Okay, I have to call my boss because I like can't have you check in under like 3 different—

I knew this would cause drama, and Josephine just want to have a little fun.

Josephine's just trying to have a little like kiki, like funny.

How about you have a little whimsy? But look, Josephine, when it comes to admin, you can't—

you can't mess around. And the 4 Cs. And honestly, the only thing that like saved me was she was like, I know you stay here all the time, so like we know it's you. You live, but like in the future. And I was like, totally.

Hollywood celebrities always use a different name. Like Lena Dunham said she had like a specific name she used.

Well, like the manager came out and she was like, yeah, if you're going to use an alias, you have to like tell us it's an alias. And I was like, totally got it.

Like, I love how she's like, oh, are you a new one? A new alias girl? Okay.

This is how you do it. My assistant just wanted to like be fun and like we weren't like actually using an alias.

Bitch, this isn't Starbucks. This is the Four Seasons. Tell us your real fucking name, Social Security number. Oh, that reminds me of high school. My friend, she was like, I'm gonna say my name's Regina at Starbucks and have them yell it. And we thought it was like the funniest thing that ever happened.

That's like low-key bullying.

So what, you don't— is vagina a bad word?

Okay, let's not start there.

Oh, also, I'm kind of obsessed with Kylie Jenner is dealing with— when you have a boyfriend, he has different sides to him, and we all have sides that we prefer. Now, Timothée Chalamet watching the Knicks try to win their first championship is a monster that I don't think she mentally prepared for, where he's taking his shirt off and jumping into crowds, and he's going full like LaGuardia High School 2007 or whatever the fuck, he was there. Yeah. And, um, he's— she's taking out her phone and filming him at this point.

Some of the clips I see, it's like her taking her digital camera out and taking like pictures of him just like enjoying the game. And I'm like, at the end of the day, everyone's just a girl. Like, she's literally just taking pictures, like putting her photo dump, like, and it's just— and I— last night they had like matching outfits on, and that's— she was probably just most excited for that.

I do feel like they should leave a section for like for free to let like top Knicks fans go, because it does feel weird that like the seats are so expensive for those games, but everyone who's been there all season long, even when they suck, like can't get in.

Well, the mayor did like something for he did— created like a lottery for World Cup tickets. So maybe he'll do it because no one wants to go to New Jersey. No, he like— because so many New Yorkers wanted to go to the World Cup, so— and he was like, yeah, we're right here. And so he made like a— I think it's like $50 you can enter.

No one's talking about the Jordan-Kylie like lore.

Why isn't it being brought up more?

Why isn't it front page.

Like, they're hugging, they're clearly like friends again, but they're not hanging out all the time, and they're not sitting next to each other, which they totally could be.

Jordan likes to sit under the basket, Kylie sits on the side, and then afterwards they like kiki a little bit, but they're not. I wonder how Khloé's feeling.

I wonder what their status is of their relationship. I mean, Taylor Swift hugged Kylie.

Do you forgive a friend if they're now like engaged to someone else even though they fucked you over with something.

What even happened?

She was sitting on Tristan's lap and kissed him.

Right, right, right, right, right.

So Khloé was like, fuck her.

I think they're over this. I think— yeah, I don't think Khloé gives a flying fuck.

Yeah, I also like think Jordan is the backbone of this household right now because she's been holding this bag. Yeah, have you heard about the lucky bag? Um, and Kat is amazing. Anyway, don't start like looking into the players and all their families and histories. It'll make you really emotional. I just can't. Honestly, sports is like too much for me to handle, and that— I'm so glad I'm retired. Go Knicks!

Okay, I will say, at the end of the game, when the guy that made like the winning tipped it in, was like walking back to the tunnel, I did feel the sense of like, I so get how sports is like so emotional.

You know, both his parents are dead. No, I'll— that's why he wasn't smiling.

Wait, I didn't know both of his parents were dead. Okay, then scratch what I'm gonna say. Scratch what I'm gonna say. Actually, I can't say it anymore.

Did I ruin your joke?

Yeah, I can't say it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You're like, and yeah, his 'Parents are dead, so do you want to keep being a bitch?' Wait, that's so sad.

My friend called me because he was out, like, I was not on the streets, and I was like, 'What's it like out there?' And he's like, 'Hannah, I've never hugged so many random men in my life.' Like, the men are just—

I felt like a loser, like, not being out. I'm like, 'I should be with the people.' And then I was like, 'What?' No, no, it's more fun to watch.

You can hear it, you could feel it.

Most emotion we've seen from the men in a while. Most emotion we've seen in a couple years from them.

I think this is good.

Yeah, it's nice to know that they're capable to get there and feel something. I think that's what we needed going into the summer with them. We needed them to feel like, oh yeah, I do have human emotion outlets that could be expressed that's not just anger and confusing— like, confused Confusion.

Wait, someone was joking that New York City's crime rate is at like zero right now because all the criminals are watching the Knicks.

Okay, that's one thing I will say. I will never understand when your city wins something, so you vandalize it.

No, they're waiting for— but right now, like, crime is at an all-time low because all the men are not—

yeah, they're busy, they're watching TV. We literally Like, it's not a joke when we say, like, you have to occupy your boyfriend like it's a toddler. Like, you put the game on, it's like, okay, you're gonna watch this and then I'll be back. Like, they're really just children.

They're all in, like, boy day camp right now and night camp.

Imagine, like, every time the Victoria's Secret runway show was on TV, like, crime just, like, went down because, like, all the girls were watching it.

I also feel like even, like, our eres tour, we're not, like, hugging and kissing each other like they are.

No, I feel like The Taylor Swift girls were— I'm trying to think in what context do I have to be in to hug a bunch of people I don't know.

You've never hugged a bunch of people you don't know unless it was like Giggly Squad meet and greet. Well, and you were blackout during it.

Yeah, that's the only time I've hugged a bunch of people I know in a, in a setting that like—

but hugging a giggler is completely different.

Totally different. Well, hugging a girl is different.

Yeah, but also every giggler would hug me then look at you and be like I know you hate hugs and you'd be like, get in here. I don't know if I like hugs. I just don't. I'm a people pleaser, so I'm like, let's, let's not do the whole shit here. Should we just hug?

Let's get over with.

Yeah, it's like a blowjob. Like, just fucking do it.

I've stopped. Like, honestly, I've actually probably gotten rude about it because like in certain situations where like you're behind a table or something and people and someone walks in, it's like you're expected to like get up and I've stopped doing that. I'm like, yeah, I'll get you when I get up.

Like, No, you've had a long day.

Yeah, I'm not like— not— I'm not like possibly knocking over this table and all these like plates and glasses to hug you. Like, no, no. I'm on arts and crafts TikTok right now. Like, oh my God, I actually stumbled upon Angry Arts and Crafts.

That's so you. It's so niche. It's literally watercoloring for Scorpios.

It's a girl that teaches you how to make— I don't know even what she was making. She was making like plant potters or something, but she yelled at you while she was doing it. And I was like, I was like, let me settle it.

Yeah, really? No, I thought you were gonna say you make like pottery and then you break it.

Honestly, I wish. But she was like making— she was like, yeah, obviously that's the next step, like I'm not stupid. And I'm like, yeah, I'm like, actually, follow. I want all your videos.

I do love a no bullshit.

Yeah, I'm really like a chef.

Yeah, that isn't nice about it.

I like that. I'm really deep into like home improvement TikTok, and some of the girls are so— I know, it's so—

no, wait, are you actually trying any of this stuff?

No, no, no, but I'm just saying, I'm just saying like the girls will get a hobby and then they'll just do it. Like, there's a girl that I follow and every month she redecorates her bathroom. She has a new theme and she just does it. And we mind our own business so much of the time. Who could have a problem with us? No. And so I'm really into, um, the girls just like being at home and having their own hobbies.

I love that.

It's really nice.

Speaking of home, I found my wedding ring.

I didn't know you lost it. I just want to say, next summer I do think I'm gonna— there's gonna be a situation where I want to have a garden, or at least a plant that grows a tomato. But that's for next year.

That's— you can talk to my mom.

That's, that's where I feel like my life—

she has a garden. I bought my mom like a little garden toolkit that comes with a little seat that you put so while you're gardening you have a little seat so you don't hurt your back. She's obsessed. It's like pattern and stuff, you know, it's a whole esthetic.

Like, it's a whole world over there.

Yeah.

I didn't know you lost your ring.

Well, okay, I didn't lose— I took it off and then, you know, life happens. I lose my phone every 3 seconds. Of course, if I take off my wedding ring, it's like, that's up to God at this point.

You have your— you just always wear your engagement ring. Oh, so you always just look engaged.

I know, everyone's like, are you engaged? I'm like, yeah.

No one said that to you?

No, everyone thinks I'm just engaged. Really? He doesn't know me. Yeah. Like when I go somewhere, they're like, oh, did you just get engaged? But, um, told my mom, I was like, fun fact, I actually don't know where it is. Like I was afraid to like admit it to myself because— but I hadn't looked for it because I don't know where it is.

How many months had passed?

Over a year. Oh, and I'm like staying in a different apartment and you're like, things have shifted. Like I've lost less important things. Yeah, you know. So my mom looks at me and she goes, I know where it is. I said, how do you know? And she goes, because I put it somewhere because I knew you're gonna lose it. And I said, and that's why you're my emergency contact.

Where was it? Where'd she put it?

She— it's in like my jewelry box, box that I like never open because like, God forbid I could— I wear some jewelry. So I opened it, it was right there. I wore it for a day and then I was like, uncomfy, put it back.

Why are we both like that? It's actually kind of annoying because like I would love to like wear more jewelry, but I'm like, no, get it off me.

I know. And then I do get itchy with it. And also we talk with our hands so much, it becomes like, it's harder. It's like a swimmer with a hat on. Like I don't, I can't move the way I wanna move.

I don't know if you guys remember me talking on the pod, but one of my friends had a baby and I wanted to send her a gift when she got home from the hospital. And I thought, should I get the baby something? No, I should get her something. That's why I got her a Lola blanket. Lola blankets are one of those products where the second someone touches it, they immediately understand the hype. She texted me— I'm not kidding— 10 minutes after walking in the door and was like, this Lola blanket is now my entire personality. I need to get another one because I can't keep carrying it from the couch to the bed. One Lola instantly makes your space feel cozier and more put together, and there's a reason Lola has over 20 5-star reviews. I also recently just got Kitty one of the pet beds, and let me tell you, she immediately jumped in it. She loves things that are a little bit elevated, and the cushion in it is perfect for her. It's incredibly plush, holds its shape beautifully, and even helps regulate temperature so your pet stays cozy year-round. For a limited time, our listeners can get 40% off select Lola Blanket products with code GIGGLY at checkout.

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I saw this thing on TikTok and it was like so opposite of what I'm gonna say. She looks gorgeous, but it was like show— it like was showing different housewives, not like the Real Housewives, like actual housewives of different like decades Mm. No matter what age you are, in my head, if my friends are doing it, like, I'll do it. So like, if all of my friends collectively right now, we all decided we were gonna stay home and be tradwives, I'd be like, okay, I'll do it if my friends do it. Then I got to thinking, what decade of Housewives?

Oh, you got dark. I got dark. You got real dark.

If you had to pick a decade of being a housewife, what decade are you picking? Are you picking like the early '70s, or like the '70s when you're about to get your own credit card? Or are you picking like the '80s where they're really rebelling? Or are you picking like the '50s where they're like really diving into it?

When were the men gone at war?

They were gone a couple times.

Because I know like when the men were gone, I feel like the girls were having so much fun. Also, we kept the economy going, like we were fully— did every job.

Like during World War II is what I literally don't know.

Wars, like it could go into my head, no idea what wars. But I know the guys were gone, the girls were at home. It's when the guys came back and they were trying to like change everyone's lifestyle, and we were like, we were actually really good when you were gone.

Like Rosie the Riveter, like post Rosie the Riveter. And we were like, we actually could figure it out. And they were like, Yeah, but we don't want you to.

And that's why then it could have been a fun time too, though, because they discovered Xanax. I think I could have made that up, but like they were all high as a kite and like hammered and drunk, which like sounds fun for like a couple of weeks.

Okay, so that's where I would go. I would, I would have picked like late '60s, early '70s. Like drugs are just coming out, but like we don't really know What's going on? And doctors are still prescribing like crazy drugs, but it's from a doctor. So I'm going like, I'm going like early '70s, which now that I think about it, that would have been like our grandmas.

So my nana's job— my nana never smoked weed or drank or did drugs because she was like a nice, a nice religious Italian girl.

Your grandma never smoked cigarettes?

No. That's why your skin looks so good. But you'd be—

if—

okay, this is what she would do. I told you her husband would leave to work and she would have all day to make sure she had dinner ready and the house cleaned. Okay. When she— he'd say, I'm an hour away, she would make sure it's all done and put her face on, make sure she looked really, really pretty, full makeup, full eyelash set, sitting down with the food, all the laundry done. But she had all day to do it. And then at some point she got a job as a secretary and she would wear like Mugler sets. Like she was Mad Men. Yeah. And like, I don't even know if she like— she could kind of type, but like that wasn't the point. They were just like, all the guys were looking at her, but she just wore iconic sets as a secretary and that was like considered, you know, a woman in the arts, woman in STEM.

Yeah. I would have been high all day.

Yep. You would have loved being a secretary for these men.

I would have loved hosting. Like, oh, your boss has to come over for dinner on a Friday night? Hell yeah, I'll host. Like, I will whip up the best presentation. See, imagine trying to do all of that and you're like so high. Like, there has to be such great stories of housewives that they could like never tell.

Well, you know, I would have been lobotomied. Yeah. Can you smoke weed on a lobotomy?

No, they would have been like, she's hysterical is the word they would have used for you. Oh God. Anyway, that was like my random—

also, no one was out back then, so like everyone was just gay married.

Well, my whole thing was like, they had to be on the phone all goddamn day because there had to have been so much happening that was like secretive and like so gossipy. Because if they were all just home the time— I mean, they had to pass the time some way.

Well, to this day, my Nana, she wakes up, she has her phone call with Rosalie, her best friend from the '20s, who knows. And like every Thursday she has a phone call with someone else. Like she has all her phone calls set up And that's, I think, how she always lived. She'd— this bitch— and you'd be on the phone just tripping your kids with the phone line.

Bring back home phone landlines.

I want a psychic to talk to you about why you're so obsessed with nostalgia.

I think that's more of a question for a therapist.

Oh.

And I think it's because it's the last time I felt peace, which is when I was a child. I underestimated like the whole adult, um, responsibility part. Like, I, like, I truly underestimated that as a child. Well, you want to know what? I went so much of my life thinking, well, then I'll get married.

Yeah.

And then I'll be married. Like, I ended a lot of sentences in my teens and 20s with and then I'll be married. And then one day I was just like, what? That is actually just gonna cause more problems.

Do you think I ruined your life? Like, I feel like— I just feel like subconsciously when I met you, I hated so many people you were with.

I thought you were gonna say I hated so many things about you.

No, I like— I put you on a pedestal and I see the men trying to like dim your light. Yeah. And I'm like, if you don't fucking do what you're supposed to do, you're gonna be miserable. So, and then next thing you know, we're doing stuff and we're on a plane, and you're like, I could have had a family by now. But instead you were like, chase your dreams.

I don't blame you at all, but I think becoming friends with you helped me realize that I wanted to be louder more often than I was loud. Oh, like I didn't realize I actually wanted to say more things, but I didn't know I could.

Do you think confessionals also like helped you find your voice a little bit because you didn't have to like say it in front of people?

I think confessionals helped me realize that my comedic timing was better than other people's for like no apparent reason.

I actually have a vivid memory of going in for confessionals and they were like, Paige was in before you, she really killed it, she was so funny. And I was like, oh shit, okay, like I'm gonna be really funny. And then I try to say something funny and they're like, no, you're actually really mad in this scene and you're crying, so we're gonna need you to be upset.

The only thing that like would annoy me about those is they'd be like, well, she didn't say it in the moment. And it's— and I'm like, yeah, because it was 6 months later, like I didn't think of it, like, you know. So that was where people— they make it really do they do make it seem like it's real time.

Yeah, also they're telling you to make a comment. You're not like, can I please speak on this? Like, that's how it seems.

You're pulling from memory. You're not pulling from like what they're gonna show. You're pulling from your own experience. And sometimes, yeah, it's not— not sometimes, it's never gonna be what they show because everyone's experience is individual. But whatever, I digress.

I digress.

No, I think becoming friends with you is— was very pivotal in my— I don't even want to say career because that almost like dumbs it down— my whole life, my whole—

but also I didn't like change anything within you. I literally like, I feel like allowed you.

I just thought I would like getting married. Like, I didn't know the more I grew up, the how in charge I wanted to be of things and how controlling I am. So like, it was almost like you were like, it's okay, a lot of people actually hate it and you don't have to do it if you don't want to.

I'm more though was like, I'm fine with whoever you date as long as you can chase your dreams. And I think you thought your dream was marriage and then you started reprioritizing your dreams.

Yes. And then I was like, wait, I think the biggest thing for me was really when I turned in my early 30s, like turned 30, on how—

you're still in your early 30s—

yeah, how much I realized men are so incompetent. Like, I think that was the biggest change from me turning 29 to 30. I thought like, well, they're not going to save you once you get into your 30s. And you're like, men in their 40s, like, they're really competent, they know what they don't— they've no idea. They know less than you. Some of the questions I've been asked before from men about like everyday life would throw you off your rocker.

I love when you say throw you off your rocker.

It really get like simple things. Trying to think now of just like one.

Like I was once in a car ride with one of my mom's friends and thinking back at it, I'm like, that was kind of crazy. But like, I was definitely young, like, and she looked at me and I think I asked her about her husband. Like, you know, you start realizing your mom's friends have like their own lives. Yeah. And you're like, what's going on?

Yeah, you're like, what do you do when you leave our house?

And she told me, I really like him when we're on vacation, like my husband and I are really good on vacation, but otherwise he's actually the worst. And men, you can never count on them for anything.

My mom has a saying. Now listen up, because this is a good one. Listen up. Men, children, and pets pets, they never act the way you want them to.

Kim Shakespeare de Sorbo.

I'm like, one time like Daphne did something, I legit think I was like hosting, so I don't even know what I was doing, and I was like, and then she shit all over, and she goes, well, it's just a lesson. Your husband, your kids, and your pets are never gonna do what you want them to do.

And the funniest part about this whole thing is I accidentally got married like 5 years ago.

Yeah, and you got married. One time I called my mom and I didn't realize I was on speaker, and I was like, you want to know what, Mom? I'm really annoyed at you. And she was like, for what? And I was like, I think that it was your duty to tell me how useless men actually are. Like, no, seriously, Mom, when's the last time a man was useful to you? See, I was like, in the last 2 weeks, has Dad done something that was so pivotal in your life? And she goes, Paige, you're on speaker.

Hey, Hey, Paige, this is Thanksgiving.

And I was like, no, let's— if we're really gonna talk about it, let's actually talk about it.

Name one thing. Put them on.

And she's like, actually, like, your dad does do a lot of that. I go, name them, name them. I was like, I wasn't even talking about him, I was just talking about men in general. I think that was the biggest shock in my 30s, that I thought they were like— I just thought they were doing more out here. I thought they were out here. Well, they were doing more when we weren't allowed to do as Okay, then all of a sudden your friends start having babies and they're telling you their birth stories and they're like, I'm on all fours, I'm doing, I'm doing no epidural. I'm talking to a girl yesterday, she's like, I'm pregnant with twins and I'm deciding if I'm doing it natural. Like, we're just so much better. Once you start bringing in labor, I'm like, where do you guys compete with us? Where do you measure up in anything? It's too much for me to handle. I'm also on one today.

I got—

I had a lot of emails that pissed me off right before I got on the pod.

We're so connected. You didn't even start talking. I got on, I was like 5 minutes late, and you— I could just tell by your energy, I was like, oh, she wants to murder. I was like, good morning, how are you?

Like, I love everyone that works at Daphne. Like, truly feel like I— they're my friends. When I have to do stuff, people don't tell you the relationships you will form in your 30s through like your co-workers. They don't talk about it like seriously as friendship, like, no, those are real friendships in your 30s that you would have never met in your 20s.

Because I had so many jobs though in my 20s, I really did like always have like an office camaraderie wife. Yeah, that like will still text me to this day and be like, LOL, do you remember when we were in the bathroom crying? I think work, co-workers, but that's why people fall in love at work all the time too, because you're like, you just become bonded.

Yeah.

And that's why I think even on some of these reality shows, you're a bunch of co-workers trauma bonded over stuff.

Other than us, we're sisters.

We're sisters. We're tradwife sisters.

Soulmates.

Hannah, did you think the first time you met me, like, that is my No, but I knew that like there was something about you that I wanted to like bother you. Yeah, like, you know, when like for some reason you're like, I want to talk to this person.

And for me, there was something about you that I was really comfortable with. Like, I didn't feel like I had to perform for you, which is so funny because all we do together is perform. But like one-on-one, I was like, I don't have to be anything but myself with this girl.

By the way, when I say we didn't think we were soulmates, I meant like when I first met you very briefly at an office when you were like trying to get a meeting and you were like standing there. Yeah, but the second we walked into Summer House, I actually remember someone being like, "Paige," to me. They were like, "We're kind of worried about Paige. Like, she fell asleep the whole day and like, we need her to bring it." And I remember like being a little defensive of you and like, I didn't even know you. And I remember being like, "She's fine." She's gonna be fine. She clearly— she's in REM sleep right now, but when she wakes up, she's— I was like, don't fucking talk about my friend like that. Mind you, it was literally one day and you slept the whole time.

She's actually really smart once you get to know her.

I remember, and like, look, did you sleep like the entire dinner? Yes. Was it? Yes.

Well, and now you know that I am nervous narcolepsy.

You know what it is though? When you go through hard times, it's the same with relationships. You go through hard times and two people decide, do we want to make this work or not? Yeah. And after you decide like a bunch of times, you're like, okay, we're obsessed with each other, like we can handle that. But that's your 30s, like—

well, because I do think sometimes people are like, oh, that's my friend from work or something, and they like almost like brush it off like, oh, it's a work relationship. But sometimes I feel like that is the universe like putting you in these search different situations where it's like, no, this could be a lifelong friend that you've just— you've met a little later. Like, I think we should put more effort into our work friendships because I think they're more important than people ever give credit to.

Oh my God, I, I had some of my best friends were at work. Yeah, yeah, because also you have a common goal, you have common things you complain about. Like, it's literally perfect. I loved having a work crush. But also, I do have to say, the reason I'm so happy I'm not in my teens and 20s anymore is because when something bad happens to you, it's the first time something like this has ever happened, and you're like, this is how I die. Like, this is the end for me. I don't see a path out of this. We're in your 30s, you're like, this has happened to me 4 times already, right? And I know exactly how to deal with this.

Yeah.

So like, everything just is a little less painful in your 30s, and I just want all the girls to look forward to that.

Yeah.

Remember when I was nervous about my pimple?

Which one?

Well, I had a huge pimple before I was supposed to shoot something, and then it went down in 2 days.

Oh, the one you recently had on your forehead that you said that you put toothpaste on? It really pissed me off.

But that's karma. Yeah, that's my karma, guys. Like, you wonder, like, it's called peaceful sleeping and pimples just going away for no reason. That's from— that's from kindness and love.

I'm over here putting a million needles every 4 seconds into my skin. You know, I watched a TikTok video the other day of, of— it was like an animation of what microneedling actually is.

You loved it?

I loved it, Hannah!

I loved it. Wait, why do they have to numb your face? Like, because it's that painful?

Hell yeah, it's so— it's going so— it's low-key going deep, kind of, because it's basically hurting your whole face so that your collagen is like, oh my God, we have to repair the skin, and it like boosts your collagen. It's like tricking your skin into thinking it's hurt.

You sound like the Looksmaxer.

I sound like Clavicular?

Yeah, you're like, if you stab yourself in the face enough, your skin gets stronger.

That's why I find him so annoying.

I'm like, dude, who calls up his jawline?

And they didn't come for hours esthetic. Women for tens of thousands of years have been saying beauty is pain. Do not come over here.

I'm like nervous to get microneedling even though I have to.

No, I love it. You have to do it.

So the rest of the day, are you just like a freak?

No. Oh my God, mine, like, I'm red for like maybe an hour. One of my girlfriends got it done and she was red for— this is just how people are, like, very— she was red for like 5 hours, and I was read for like 2.

Also, quick update, I talked about Pepper. I wanted a cat named Pepper. I want to call a guy Pepper. Turns out every Googler's cat's name is Pepper. I've gotten like 100 photos of cats named Pepper.

I don't remember you mentioning this.

Um, I did.

Okay.

And it was a really pivotal point in the podcast, but that's okay. Um, it's literally been all I talked about 2 weeks ago, but, um, they There's so many cute cats named Pepper, so I just have to say shout out to everyone who named their cat Pepper.

It would be really cute, like Pepper, Lemon and Pepper, like thinking if you got like an orange cat, you named it Lemon, and then you got like a black cat, you named it Pepper.

I love how you say orange.

Orange. Orange.

We have to discuss Ethan and Ariana.

Now why did she take that lady's husband if she didn't want him? Why did she do that?

I love how you just say what everyone's afraid to say.

You didn't need that man. You didn't want that man. You didn't care about that man. Let that man go be with his wife and child.

That's why her song, which is "I Hate That I Made You Love Me," everyone's like, we think it's about the fans.

I'm like, no, I think it's about her 3-long-year affair. I think he's weak and disgusting. Like, I think if you can leave your wife and a newborn baby, like What conviction do you have in this world? Like, who are you as a person?

I heard that in the theater community, because he's like one of the three straight men, he's like wanted. Like, everyone's like, he's hot. So in his— in the theater world.

Okay, so a made-up realm.

But, um, you say you think he's like a toxic fuckboy because he's like—

he only lives in the theater world where people are like, you're so hot and you're so cool and like, we want you. Where if he went and worked like in finance, yeah, he'd have a very different experience.

He'd be hazed. I think that's why he even had the confidence. And she loves musical theater. Like, I'm trying to make sense of it.

Oh, like that he had the confidence to even cheat on his wife with Ariana Grande?

Like, at some point you're like, actually, this is— like, I have a hot take.

Yeah.

And this could be completely wrong, but I think Ariana Grande has a little Justin Bieber to her where she doesn't have any dopamine left because she's done so many things in her career that are so spectacular and intense and amazing. So for her to feel something, she has to like steal someone's.

Okay, do you want to hear my argument? I argue that Ariana Grande went through a very public breakup with Mac Miller, and then ultimately he died. Not shortly thereafter, there was a shooting at one of her concerts.

So traumatizing.

That is two really extremely traumatizing canon events, I would assume. And I would think that your whole brain chemistry is rewired after both of those things, let alone like them back to back. Because you don't know how long it takes people to actually grieve and like actually get through traumatic things and process things. And like, I would say a shooting at your concert where little girls die is like years and years of like actually working through that. And I could see her being like a little— like she changed, like, I don't know, like she got mean, disconnected. And so almost doesn't feel like, hey, you just stole this lady's husband and you did like a really bad morally bad thing. Like, cheating is bad. Like, you shouldn't have participated in that. And I could see her almost like not even like, okay, we want to know what something bad is? Something bad is someone dying. Like, falling in love actually isn't bad, you know? I could see that being part of—

by the way, we don't know.

Also, we're making this up.

We're making this up. This is all made up. But also, like, I would love to be a fly on the wall when Ethan is going to like co-parent and she's like, hey, how's, how's Ariana?

Or just like your kid growing up and being like, why did you guys get divorced? And be like, well, your dad left me for Ariana Grande, pop star.

And she played with him like a cat for about 2, 2 and a half years. But it's funny how it's like the second Wicked is over, like give it 2 months and it's— that's a, that's a work wife.

That's a work wife.

Why don't you just be normal and just cheat and not tell your wife like a normal person in Hollywood?

Have sex at a hotel, you freaks. Like, what? Also, my thing is like, no, I love a dramatic pause. I was just trying to like think how I— I've had some really good sex in my life, of course, of course. I've also had some really non-eventful sex in my life. No one that I've ever had sex with would be worth blowing up my whole life, would be worth like ruining this other woman's life. I don't get— I don't get that. It is funny, actually, when I lost my virginity and I told my mom, I think I actually said like, and I don't really get the hype about sex. And I feel like she looked at me like, yeah, I get that.

I feel like when you're younger, we were so afraid to talk about sex, and the Gen Zs are probably different. Well, I don't even know if they're having sex, but like, do you remember when your friends would talk about it for like the first couple of years. Like, she gave it handjobs, she gave a BJ, but no one was like telling each other, like, she lost her virginity. But no one was like, it's really bad. Like, when did we start? Was it in college? I don't even know in college because we still would be like, we're hooking up, like we're hooking up, but we weren't being open with each other that like the sex would maybe would be like always a small dick or I don't even think I started calling men out for having a small dick until I was like later in college where I like said to my friend, I think you might have a small dick, but like, I don't know. I remember once, this was like early 20s, this guy just got out of a really long relationship and we went back to my place and I guess he was trying to like, sorry mom, like finger me.

Yeah. But he was like, he actually, I'm not even joking, was on like the muscle that connects my leg and my vagina.

Yeah, that like bone.

Right there.

I know exactly.

And at first I was like, okay, he's, he's teasing me.

He's teasing me. Like the fold, like the dip in which your thigh connects to your actual vag. I know exactly what you're talking about.

And then it like went on like a little too long and then I realized, oh, you think he thinks he hit the spot? And then I immediately thought about his girlfriend who he's been with for like 7 years, who he just got out of a relationship with. And I was like, She either didn't know or she didn't want to speak up, or like how this happened. So girls, we have to speak up. But I remember telling my friend like, he fingered my thigh, and I was, I was so funny that night. I had a great night. It was killing.

It's so important because also that is like gossiping, and that's what keeps women like alive. Like, I think, I mean, I had such a good mom though, thank God. I felt comfortable enough to go to my mom to be like Hey, like, I think I have— like, it's burning when I pee, like, and that's what it is. Like, so can you help me? But like, if I was nervous, I would never know.

Well, that's like Whitney in Housewives— I mean, in Mormon Wives— when she's like, Mom, why couldn't you tell me what sex was? I had to figure it out my wedding night, and it was a fucking horror film. And I'm like, yeah, that's why you have to talk to people for safety and pleasure and understanding. We're not holes. We're not just holes.

Do you want to hear something so crazy about when I told my mom that I wasn't a virgin anymore?

You never told me this before.

Now thinking back, I must have had a UTI because I literally made myself sick thinking that I had like an STD.

Oh yeah, everyone thinks that.

Like literally, like I couldn't sleep, like I was like sick. I was like, I have to tell my mom, like, oh my God, like I'll never forget.

I'm like, you're like, I'm gonna die, and she doesn't know it's because of herpes.

I'm a senior in high school, and I like go— I'll never forget, it was like being a little kid going down into the kitchen. Like, I threw up. I was like, Mom, and she— I'll never forget, she was ironing, and I was like, I have to die. Which is so classic Italian mom. She's like, she's like, what? I'm like, okay, so like something is like kind of happening with like my vagina, and like I don't know what's going on. And like, and she— I remember her like staring at me, and I'm like, and like, I had sex. And I remember whispering like, "Sex." So like anxiety made me tell her, not like our amazing relationship and bond, just anxiety.

We were so different because my mom was like, "You should probably have sex by now." And she was like, "Okay, well what's going on?

Do you want to show me?" Like, and so like that, and Ultimately, I think I probably had like a little bit of a UTI. She was like, just drink water and like we'll see what happens. And like nothing happens. But a couple weeks later, maybe like— I'd have to call Stephanie and like really figure out the story because I won't remember. I got into a fight with one of my girlfriends in high school. Who knows about what, but we were like really fighting, okay? Like to the point where she like called my house phone. And I'll never forget, I've spoken to her since this.

Like, obviously she called your house phone to hash it out, like, after school.

No, she called my house phone, and I'll never forget answering and being like, hello? And her being like, let me talk to your mom. And I'm like, no, you're not talking to my mom, you freak. I feel comfortable saying this because her and I are like friends, so like thinking back, it's like so funny. I'm like, you're not talking to my mom, you freak. Like, what are you gonna say to my mom?

And I'll never forget, she was gonna—

she's gonna spill the beans, yelling, Paige actually isn't a virgin and she did fuck her boyfriend! And I remember being like, how dare you try to ruin my life?

I'm an angel!

And I'll never forget, my mom heard it and got on the phone and was like, hey, you guys are having a fight and that's your friend, you don't go and try and like tell on her. And I remember being like, Fuck yeah, Mom.

Like, she hung up and she was like, we have to talk.

Yeah. And then she hung up and she was like, what are you doing?

She goes, what's up, slut?

But anyway, that's just like girlhood.

And we love— Paige loves nostalgia. She's working on it in her therapy later this week. Actually, this is her therapy session. Thank you, guys.

We're done.

Yeah, we're done. Thank you for giggling with us. Keep sending me photos from the Hulu special. Um, happy anniversary to Daphne, baby. Yeah, I need a Daph Daph. Not the cat, the company. And we'll talk to you later.

Bye!