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Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.
We can't be managed.
I mean, the day just got away from me.
Hello? What are you laughing at? Because I didn't time it right? No, because we just were staring at each other like We cannot make direct eye contact. It's too intense for our souls. What's up, my grandiose giggles?
Wait, when we do this, do you look at yourself?
No, I look at you and then I check on myself. I check to make sure there isn't like something insane happening.
Okay, I look at you when you're telling like a long story. No, you don't. Yes, you don't.
Yeah, I do.
Okay, actually it's the opposite. I look at me when you're telling a long story. When you're telling something quick.
When I start a long story, you begin your skincare routine. Like, you start like organizing things on your dresser.
Like, you know, wait, today was actually so bad. For whatever reason, I think that I have someone's assistant's email like accidentally blocked from my email because I'm never in the calendar invite for this one specific meeting. So today I get on and I'm like full face mask, full jammies. I'm like I wasn't aware something was going on, and I kept my face mask on the whole time because I had just put it on.
This is where my mom would call the teacher and be like, hey, I know Paige— I know Paige is having her own problems coming late, but then Hannah gets distracted because Paige is making Hannah laugh during class. Because the whole meeting I was taking screenshots of you in the different positions of your face with the face mask because you were so serious. So we'll add that to the newsletter because I have a whole folder of screenshots of you during Zooms being insane, but everyone respects you still. It's crazy. It's because of your aura.
Yeah, I think it's my aura.
And also because you're busy.
I'm busy. I say things assertively. I, I know that you start new segments randomly, but I'd like to start a new segment.
And did you run it by Grace?
I didn't.
Okay.
Did you run yours by Grace?
I run everything by Grace. Yeah, there's a formality to Gayly Squad, but okay, just skip the middleman.
My segment is what pissed me off this week. Okay, and I think that's actually a phenomenal segment.
I think that's— oh yeah, let's go, I'm in, I'm in.
This was like a couple days ago, but because we didn't record on Monday—
are we okay? That's— that was I— this is what happened because we didn't record that again. Paige and I was— we're on a 2-hour FaceTime on Wednesday. We—
I didn't realize that that is why we had to FaceTime, because we didn't record, we had to chat.
Yeah, it's like we needed— and then in my head I was like, oh, that would have been so funny to tell on Giggly Squad. So we'll try to recreate some moments, but they won't be as good. What pissed you off?
I don't even remember what we talked about. Um, I don't know, I think it was at the Knicks. Yeah, it might have been the Knicks or whoever, like, they're playing in the other— whoever the other teams are, but whatever. It was Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. They're sitting courtside watching, and the announcer said Travis Kelce and his girlfriend. Now, how successful does a woman need to be to be called her name? Not only did it piss me off, just like— here's the thing I thought about it. If, if he only— if the, if the announcer only knew Travis Kelce because it's sports and he knew who he was and blah blah blah, maybe because he was live it like quickly slipped his mind, like, oh my God, I can't remember Taylor Swift's name. Because that happens and you say like, oh, his girlfriend. First of all, it's his fiancée, but I digress. But then later you could say Taylor Swift. Calling Taylor Swift anyone. I'm not even Travis Kelce. Calling Taylor Swift anyone's anything, girlfriend, anything, is so insane to me. I'm like, it, it's Taylor.
Also, it wasn't even a football game, it was a basketball game, and they both were two fans watching.
I'm like, that's Taylor Swift's boyfriend. Like, this is Taylor Swift to you? That like really pissed me off. I'm like, oh my God, she has what? She has to be more successful for you to know what the fuck her name is?
Also, like, can we just watch one basketball game without getting offended? By something.
One sporting event without getting offended.
Sporting event. I was watching the back of their heads, um, Taylor and her boyfriend, the back of her heads.
What game was that?
A Knicks game. So like whenever I would go to one side, I would just see, um, yeah, he chugged a beer or something. So then like the internet exploded.
Oh, I missed that.
Yeah, but you've been—
I got the highlights.
You've been watching the Knicks though. Like, how about the Knicks?
Well, I feel like any— every single person in New York City is like gonex.
It really brought the city together.
It really has. I was unaware that they've been so bad for so long. So bad for so long? I didn't know that.
No, my grandpa—
I think they just had a bad couple of years.
Wait, I've talked— remember this? Someone— I brought up my grandpa on a Zoom earlier today. I—
yeah, I do remember it. I do remember it because now I'm gonna keep a tally of how many times we're bringing up your grandpa on work Zooms. And then that is one moment when I do look at the Zoom and I look at you because I'm like, if you start crying. I literally had to cover my mouth. I started laughing. I was like, here she goes. And the guy we were on Zoom with was like of an old— was a little bit older.
So I was like, if she starts going, I'm like, do you know Jerry Bernhardt? Do you remember him? He's from New York. Wait, I know what we were laughing about on FaceTime.
What?
How Kim texted you in the morning.
My mom texted me like 2 days ago, like 8 AM, just RIP.
I go, whatever happened to hello, how are you?
I was like, um, did I do something to offend you? She goes, oh my God, I'm so sorry, I meant to say, are you up? And then it autocorrects to RIP. She's like, that's awful. And me and Hannah just went into like a whole— we literally, we went on a bit for 10 minutes. A Sicilian hello, a Sicilian good morning. Anyone could die at any time. Someone's dead somewhere. RIP.
Someone's resting in peace this morning.
It's like, oh my God, that is crazy. That is the most Sicilian thing ever.
Oh my God.
Anywho, so that's how me and my mom start our days. Um, Have you watched Off Campus? Off Campus.
I started it and at first I was like, I don't think he's like that hot in the face. Then I was like, okay, his body's hot. And then I started getting triggered thinking about like college because I, I, I know it was—
you don't do teeny bopper shows. Like, I'm a teeny bopper.
I liked it when it was gay because I wasn't like— it was— that was interesting to me. Me watching like a girl like Jersey chase, I'm like, that's just sophomore year, baby.
Okay, she wasn't Jersey chasing. She was his tutor. And then she realized she fell in love.
Also, she's his tutor and they're trying to say that he was smart. Babe, that is fictional.
Well, yeah, it is.
It's a fictional show. Let us have something. That's why I can't watch science fiction, fantasy. I can't do it.
So many gigglers DM'd me because they know that I love— well, first they know I love watching hot people on the television, and I love a high school, like, just a cute little stupid show.
That time in your life and you want to relive it?
Maybe, maybe because I love that time in my life, but I love just like a stupid, like, To All the Boys I've Loved Before. Like, I love shit like that. Um, oh, my mom's calling me right now, so it's probably dead.
Somebody's dead again. Goddamn it, not again.
So, um, so anyway, so I get all these DMs like, you have to watch it. In the first 15 minutes, I'm like, okay, this is like a little bit cheesy for me, but like, I'm just gonna keep going through this first episode. And then I'm like, I'm really hooked. The number one thing that I noticed in this show One, the main girl is stunning gorgeous. I actually had to look her up and see if she was Brooke Shields' daughter because I was like, that's Brooke Shields, like, in the face.
Or do you want me? Sorry, spit out. Do you want me again?
She's like the perfect cast. And let me tell you something, watching this show, I was like, oh, and that's a normal college girl's body, and that's a normal, like, hot guy in college. Like, it felt— I didn't hate my own body after.
Like when you saw my Sports Illustrated shoot, right?
Like when I watch Tell Me Lies, sometimes I'm like, well, how are they so hot? You know, like this show, there was just something about this show that was like, they weren't artificial, they weren't like manipulated.
Yes, their body, their body parts were in the right places where they're supposed to be.
Like every— I was like, that's a girl I went to college with that like doesn't know she's super hot and she's super hot. Like everyone knows, knew that girl in college. Like it just felt normal. Like, everyone looked normal. No one was like a size 00 anosympathic bobblehead, and I appreciated it.
Yeah, the hockey guys in college— I told you, one of the guys asked me what a major was, and we were in junior year. What was his? Clearly he— they put him in something and he didn't know what it was.
You're like, babe, you got expelled 2 semesters ago.
Like, you don't go here, babe. Why do you keep showing up? But I've told— I told the story many times before. It was a hockey guy that my best friend, my, you know, my 2-week best friend, we got married on Facebook, hooked up with him when I was at a tennis tournament, and they ended up getting married and having kids, which is— and we're happy, we're happy for them. And they're on Facebook. I check up on them every now and then. Yes, I really want to comment, but I haven't.
It's not the place.
It's not the place or the time.
It's not the place.
Actually, I haven't checked up on them in a minute. Let me put that in my notes. Also, not to call you out on the pod, but I was texting you. I was vintage shopping for you and crickets. I sent you like 9 things. Crickets.
No, I asked you a question at one point.
No, that was on an Instagram message. You said, are you blind? You know, I was poking on it.
No, I'm gonna start screenshotting the vintage shit that Hannah finds and sends to me. She sent me like a, like a polka dot— in theory it sounds very me. It was like a vintage big duffel polka dot, big polka dots that said YSL in the front, and I just texted back and said, are you blind? Like, it was the most insane bag.
I texted you a lot of shoes. Yeah, you hated all of them.
Well, here's the thing with— here's the thing with— for me specifically, and I'm only speaking for myself and my own journeys, as you should, as you should. I love vintage clothes. Like, I think there are so many cool vintage outfits that I've seen and like things that I've personally purchased.
Louis Vuitton.
When it comes to vintage shoes, I'm kind of like Gross. Ew, someone else's foot. And also, what is that noise?
Oh, that was me scrolling through my vintage collection. I'm scrolling through the messages with you right now being like, a lot of the shoes look really worn.
Like, I've yet to see a vintage— like, rarely I'll be like, oh, this looks like it was never even worn. But a lot of them, I'm like, yeah, they're, they're worn in, babe.
Okay, you're right. It's just I don't like spending money, so when I see something that you— I think you would spend money on, I like love sending it to you. Um, but—
and I don't have that problem.
You go, I need your help, and I don't need your help.
I don't know, I don't need to go as hard as you because I'll spend the money, okay? So I don't need to scour the internet. I'll swipe my card.
Oh God.
Also, another thing that pissed me off this week, since I'm fresh off of a plane— actually, I'm sweating, I have to take this off. No, I'm literally like— I just landed 8 minutes ago. I was around 3 grown men and my bag was heavy this time. 3 grown men. One of them just like even cut me in line to get off the plane. I'm like, dude, technically I'm in front of you, but like, whatever, go ahead, you have some place to be.
Go ahead. Clearly no men have lost their— oh my God, speak of men on planes. I had a crazy flight with my mom, and it was like a like 6-hour flight, and these 2 men were across the aisle from each other.
Okay.
And I tried to fall asleep, but I like couldn't. It sounded like they were fighting, like really loud and aggressive. But then I listen and I realize they're just arguing about like who the best basketball players of all time are. Mind you, this is what guys have been talking about since the beginning of time. Like I remember in middle school listening to my friends being like, and LeBron versus Kobe, and Shaq versus versus fucking Dikembe Mutombo. Like, they did it for 5 hours, just like mansplaining to each other stats that they know off the top of their head to try to act like they know things. I was this close to, to like stepping in.
When you say across the aisle, like across—
like they were— they were—
aisle?
So like they were both on the, on the aisle seats and like Okay, but they were talking loud.
So you were in what, you were on one window seat and your mom was in the other?
Yeah.
Why didn't you guys—
Oh no, we— Oh no, but they were like, uh, ahead of us. We were sitting next to each other.
Oh, got it, got it.
But these men were going, going, going. And then we had stewardess drama.
I think they prefer flight.
Okay, I've gotten it. Stewart I. Stewart I. Okay, it's not gym teacher, it's physical educator. So the lady comes up to us and she hasn't even— she's like asked if we want drinks, and she goes, by the way, like, this is my second day.
It was kind of ever working.
I get it was kind of interesting because she was like 65. Um, also like she hadn't done anything wrong yet, so I'm like, you don't have to tell me up top that you're new, but like, I'm rooting for you, like, go team, go. A lot of time goes by, we don't get our drinks. Like, it's been like 2 hours and we haven't gotten our drinks.
Okay.
This other lady comes up to us and she's like, hey, this other steward— flight attendant, sorry— is like, is not doing her job and claiming that it's her second day, but she's worked for 20 years. So then my mom and I are on the case. We're like, we're— wait a minute, I fly 4 times a week. I've never been involved in steward eye drama to this extent. She wasn't even giving us our drink. She was like, I need to tell you what the fuck I'm dealing with up front by the cockpit. And we were like, what is she like lying? Like, what's going on? And she's like, I don't know, we don't know, but she's being really bitchy to us.
And I was like, she was nice to us, But she told us today, maybe she just like says that to people so that like when she messes up, it's not that big a deal, which actually genius.
I think she's playing chess and we were playing checkers. Yeah, because then the lady ended up getting us the drinks and the one who said it was her first day comes later at the end and she's like, I'm sorry, like I've— it's my first day. I'm sorry if I messed up. And I'm like, this fucking genius. I got to start using this.
Wait, and so I can't believe she came back and said that to you and you know that she's lying.
Yeah, she was like, I hope I did okay today. Well, maybe I'm like, oh, maybe she's never done this airline, but she's— you don't— this is the thing also about flight attendants, the training is insane. The training is military to become a flight attendant. I've never had a flight attendant mess up to the extent that she has. Like, most flight attendants are incredible. Yeah, they are the baristas of the sea.
Rarely had like a flight attendant issue.
I've never been in a pickle with a flight attendant before.
You want to know why? They're gay because they're girls and gays, so they're like, hi, that's like, happy to be here.
That's like when I lost my sunglasses at the Sports Illustrated event. I was like, it's full of women, we're gonna be fine.
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Manchmal willst du einfach nur ans Meer oder durch die Straßen einer lebendigen Stadt schlendern oder Endlich den Moment genießen. Einfach die Welt mit TUI neu erleben. Mit TUI reist du so, wie du willst. Als Familie, zu zweit oder einfach allein. Flexibel, sicher und immer mit dem guten Gefühl, dass jemand da ist, wenn's drauf ankommt. Gestalte mit TUI Urlaub ganz nach deinen Wünschen. Überall im Reisebüro, auf tui.com und in der App.
Brought a purse to the AMAs and all the Googlers were making fun of me because I was holding my purse in every photo and they were like, thank God you didn't leave it.
You're keeping track of it on stage. Um, how was the AMAs?
Lenore murdered.
Best dressed.
Lenore best dressed. Lisa Rinna goes up to my mom and is like Hello, how are you?
Who are you?
Your dress is amazing. I want to rip it off your body. And my mom doesn't watch the Housewives. Like, she doesn't really know who Lisa Rinna is. And she was like, oh my God, thank you. And these two moms are kikiing, and I walk away. I'm like, Mom, that's a fashion icon that just said she wants your— like, you're— you did it, girl. Retire. But, um, I've never met Lisa Rinna before. You have though, right?
Yeah, I have a couple times.
So I've never met her. And how was your first experience? So I don't watch Housewives really either. I've— I know a couple, they're all hilarious, um, but you never know what you're gonna get with them.
You never watched Beverly Hills?
I've like— I've seen some, but like I've never like watched a season.
Okay, but you've seen like an episode?
Yeah, I've seen like the lady throw her leg.
Oh well, that was Real Housewives of New York, and that was Aviva, and that was iconic. That was like old New York, like good old days. I feel like she just came out recently and did like an Ask Me Anything, and someone asked her about that, and she was like, yeah, obviously I like planned— I like knew I was gonna do it, like at some point I was gonna do it.
I love how she was like, I was keeping in my back pocket, obviously.
Yeah, she's like, she said something to the effect of like, we're making an entertainment show. And I was like, totally killing.
So I'm backstage with Lisa Rinna and I'm, yeah, I'm nervous. Also, sometimes you don't know, like, if they— like, this is a job, like, we're about to present. Like, I don't know if she wants to like kiki with me, but I let her know, like, I've met Amelia before and I love Amelia. And her eyes kind of lit up and she's like, oh, like, isn't she the sweetest? I'm like, your daughter is so kind and sweet. Yeah, and then I just go for it. I'm like, by the way, I used to be on Bravo also.
Oh, she didn't know?
I don't think she knew who I was.
She was like, senior face donor.
Yes, she was like, you're cute, this is gonna be fun. Yeah, hi, hello.
Like, I'm a mom, I'm gonna be nice. Like, you're a child to me.
And by the way, Lisa Rinna knows everyone. She's like dabbing up John Legend. Like, she's seeing everyone and everyone knows her. She— sorry, it's been a long day. She looks at me and she's like, really? And I'm like, I don't know how to explain this, but the very specific situation that you went through on Bravo, it's crazy, but I feel like I'm one of the few people that can kind of relate to what you've been through. And she like looks at me and—
you thought they— and you thought she didn't want to engage? She was like, I She was like, actually, hold my purse.
And she looked at me and we said some things back and forth that I need to keep to my heart.
Yeah.
But she looked at me and took my hand and she said, if these difficult things didn't happen to us, we would not be standing here today together presenting at the AMAs. That is so And we had this like beautiful heart-to-heart because I told her, I said, I remember— not to bring it up right before we go on stage, but I love bringing up traumatizing things right before I perform.
Yeah, you do do that.
I said, I remember when you were booed at BravoCon, and that was so fucked up. Like, imagine your mom getting booed. Bless you. And she was like, yeah. I'm like, but it is like WWE, and you just have to lean in when you're on that side of the docket.
Yeah.
But we had this kind of like beautiful moment and then she was so fun. Like she's so cool. I just want the Gigglers to know that Lisa, she's a good one. We love her.
Yeah.
We love her.
No, she's always been really nice anytime I've ever met her. And I saw her after we met Amelia when we did Devil Wears Prada. And I was just like, what a fam, what a great family.
So freaking cute. I also—
they must just have such a fun time together.
Also, um, I started watching Real Housewives— no, I started watching The Mormon Secret Wives on the plane.
Welcome!
I have so many thoughts, but we're happy to have you.
It's a crazy journey.
You know, we don't care when you start as long as you start. Yeah, the problem is I started because we were getting our nails done and Paige put on like a random episode from season 3, so then I just continued from that episode. So I watched season 3 first and now I'm in season 2.
Okay, so you watched season 3, season 4? No, you went season 3 back to 2. You didn't like finish?
I kind of like—
see, did you watch season 1? Okay, I— this is so you, like Like, what the fuck?
I like watching seasons out of order though, because you, you're kind of like, oh my God, this girl doesn't know what's about to happen to her and I know what's about to happen. Or like, oh, you're yelling her about this, but she's about to yell at you about that next time because y'all already, you do the same thing, you're doing the same things to each other.
That's one of the craziest things that you, that I didn't really know about you.
I also had like, actually, I don't know why I was doing it, but I think I was just going with the flow. But anyway, I've— we've known Jesse, like, she's been around, like, that's the Mormon Housewife girl, and she's always been awesome to us, but I never watched her. And then I get off the plane after watching season 3 and part of season 2, get to the AMAs, first people I see, Marciano and Jesse.
That's crazy to be like in— involved in the season, like, in a pay hole, and then See that?
No, like, my life is so fucking weird because normally I see Jessi, I'm just like, hey, what's up? Like, I know you're doing great stuff, I haven't watched it, support. And now I'm like, you guys, um, what's going on?
Hannah, this is why you have to go in order because she like just got divorced.
And are people mad?
Like, she's like literally like a week ago. No, her husband is the worst.
But they're not mad that she's out with Marciano even though Marciano, they don't give a shit. Oh, good.
I don't think they're like actually together.
Also, you have a full flu right now. No, you have— I have— yeah, you, you have pneumonia.
Well, I had a cold. I had a summer cold that like people were getting.
You're the— you would make a cheat having a cold. You're like, it's a summer cold.
You want to know what? My assistant had a cold and then I was with her and then I got a cold and then I just flew. So like whenever I fly, like my— like I can't, I can't—
did you get like an IV or something? Do they work?
No, I don't like feel sick, I just have like a head cold.
Okay, okay. Anywho, yeah, seeing Jesse after watching 8 episodes of her was like kind of weird. And I do have one note about Jesse. I think she has the bone structure to have a cunty bob.
Yeah, none of them have a bob. Oh, um, one of them did just cut a bob. I can't I don't remember. Miranda. But no one really has a bob. Yeah, honestly, Hannah, you could be Mormon with your hair.
Oh my God, thank you.
Yeah, that's like a really big compliment.
I feel like it is funny though that I dressed up as a Mormon housewife on Halloween when I never watched the show, because I trust you, because I said she knows comedy and if it hits, it hits.
That was the best show. I mean, now it's like, I don't— who knows what's gonna happen with it, but it Here's the thing, this is why you know it's the best show. It got dark quick and they had to stop. Like, the first—
it burned two seasons.
Yeah, it was. And now everyone's like, okay, this is partly illegal and just not mentally good. Like, it's so dark now. And same with Beverly Hills. Like, when Lisa Rinna, I feel like, was getting fired, like, it was getting dark. Like, The moment you watch an episode and you're like, this made me anxious, I can't watch it. Like, I can't. I'm like, this is not fun. When I watch Housewives, I want to watch them be drunk and fall in a bush. Like, I want to watch funny, stupid things. I don't want to know that like your husband has been cheating on you for 10 years and, and you're pregnant. You just found out.
Yeah.
Like, people talk about The Valley all the time, and I've never watched a single second of The Valley because I will— I was never like a Jax fan, and I feel like he got like some like redemption for like a minute when the show started and like whatever. So it was just no one from Vanderpump that like I would have tuned in for. But like now on TikTok, like I'll see clips and I don't even know any of their names, but there's this one girl on there and she's gorgeous. She's beautiful. And her husband is a little rat, like an actual rat.
You could be describing so many relationships right now.
So true. And she like just had a baby, and he's— I mean, diabolical. That's the thing, it's one of the craziest things.
Vanderpump, when they're just like young waitresses, like taking Plan B, like that's cute. But like when they're adults with children having issues, I'm like, this is like— call a family lawyer. No, but also with Mormon wives, I don't understand what mom talk is because they're always like, you're in mom talk, you're out of mom talk, you're in mom talk. I'm like, you mean to do a TikTok?
Their group to do a TikTok, but it's all together.
Okay, so if you want to take it, do a TikTok with all of us, you're on mom talk.
But I don't think mom talk can survive this because I think when they first started, the way they got a bunch of views was if they were all together in one TikTok.
But now they don't need to be all together.
Yeah, now they don't. Now like, that's like not a thing, but they still like have to say to the or like, will MomTalks survive? Well, it's very interesting how reality TV is changing and ever growing. Like, who— Mormon Housewives is one of, I feel like, the first show to actually break the fourth wall and film a season of reality TV and talk about like, I'm going and doing this press and I got this because of the show. Yeah, yeah. Like, they're like, we have to film the reunion. Like, we— like, no one says that, I feel like, on Summer or on Bravo.
And that's why I think Mormon Wives was so good, because it becomes about egos and you're all fighting about people being like jealous of who's getting what. But then they can change it to be like, well, no, I don't like how she's— I don't like something about her. It's like, no, you're mad about something she got.
Totally.
Yeah, it's like, let's, let's fight about that.
Yeah, let's fight about the—
instead of editing it to make it look like someone did something. But any— I digress. It's— I digress. Um, how are you?
I'm good, how are you? You're— you have the craziest list of all time.
Yeah, my list got really crazy. I have a question about spray tanning. Okay, I wish I have one in 1 hour because I got a spray tan for AMAs. That was on— this is like literally women in STEM shit. I got it on What day? Thursday?
No, we're 7 days.
I don't, I don't know. Now I'm panicking. I don't know when I got it. Oh, I know, I got it on Saturday night and now it's Thursday. I don't think I'm— if I do it, I think it'll, it'll get— it'll be bad. Do I have to exfoliate or something?
You want to respray?
Do I?
Or do you feel like you're tan? I'm gonna be honest, my LA tans, I feel like last 10 days, so you're— you'll only be at 7.
Okay, what happens if you spray too early? Like, what are the girls have to be aware of?
What do you mean spray too early? Spray too early, like for an event?
Like, like you, you sprayed yourself and then it's only been like 6 days but you want to be tanner?
Well, from the minute you get your spray tan, like that next day you really have to like moisturize a lot, drink a lot of water. It's all— if you stay hydrated and moisturized, your spray tan will stay.
What the— why is water like I feel like that's big water and you can't really like shave your legs, but you don't have to worry about that.
Sorry.
Wow, that really got you. That really got me because it's true. It's never crossed my desk. I've never been like, oh no, I shaved accidentally. It is.
I have a spray tan after this pod, but last night I knew I was going to be rushing, so I exfoliated last night. See, men don't have to deal with Oh shit, so that I could just rinse really quick when we get off the pod, then get my spray because I have to wash my hair. Oh God, it's a woman instead.
I have a question for you.
It's a whole thing.
Yeah, I went to Pura Vida with my mom and it was really busy, but there was like one table open and I was gonna have one of us sit at the table while the other ordered because that's like what you do. And I am going to sit Someone just left their phone on the table to reserve the table. That— I think that's crazy. I think that's crazy. Yeah. I also— she had like a little attitude.
That's—
she was right ahead of us. It was like she was the only person ahead of us and us, so I knew it was her phone. And she didn't even like look back. She just like left her phone on the table and was just standing there like, that's my table.
Gen Z?
No. Millennial, I would say. Like, millennial. Yeah, she's one of us.
Wow. And so what'd you do?
I let her have it. But it would be funny if I just sat down and started texting.
I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying to think if I would say— I don't think I would say anything, but I would be like, that's like weird.
I wouldn't have—
you know what I have started doing? If we're in a situation and I'm holding the door for you because I just walked out of the door, or like you're coming, whatever, and anything like that, if you don't say thank you to me, I'm saying you're welcome. Like, the little stuff like that, like, really pisses me off. Like, today I was walking out of a door and I, like, held it for the lady, like, coming in, but I, like, had a suitcase stuff. So like, it inconvenienced me to hold the door for you, but I'm a normal person. And so like, when she walked in and didn't say anything, I literally was like, oh no, you're so welcome, you literal fucking bitch. I mean, I didn't say literal fucking bitch, but I did say like, nope, I got it, you're so welcome. And they kept walking.
Exercise, drinking water is important. You have to let it out somewhere, or then you're cursing out old ladies.
If I want to snap, I'm gonna— oh really, bitch? No, I'll I'm gonna slam this goddamn door on you. You're not gonna say thank you to me? I almost went off on the plane because I was looking around at the 3 guys because my bag was so heavy when I was taking it down. I banged—
oh, I love doing that, being overdramatic when it falls down.
Well, I wasn't even trying to be dramatic, okay? I literally like dropped it onto the thing and then it like fell onto the floor, and I looked around at the 3 men and I said, so sorry, I'm so loud.
You should have fell on it.
Like, you could have fucking—
you should have fell on it and just lay there like a damsel in I literally, I wanted to be like, and you're not lonely enough. I would be so pissed if I was you because look, at the end of the day, I am strong looking. Like, so when a guy doesn't do it, I'm like, oh, he thinks I'm really strong. But if I was you, I'd be like, oh, you hate women.
I'm wearing a cashmere duster.
I can't—
hello.
And it's crazy because I would never let you even lift it when we were on tour.
I'm in ballet flats!
No—
get my bag!
No no no no no no no no no also so anyway when you pack you love cases like you love little cases you pulled out a pouch that was for ants like what are you putting in like the little pouches that you have? You had a pencil case—
oh I might pouch in my pouch well your pouch's pouch your kangaroo well here's the thing I love a pouch set. So I love a pouch that goes in a pouch, and I do have this little, like, long— it looks like a pencil case. Yeah, you're right, it looks like a pencil case pouch. Um, I put my medicines in there, and by my medicines I mean my emergency UTI medicine and my beta blockers, which I'm gonna just say this first and foremost: I'm seeing a lot of beta blocker slander on the internet, and I'm not having it. I'm not having it. Beta blockers do not make you out of it, groggy, out of it. They don't make you— you can't get high off of a beta block. You would die before you got high off of a beta blocker.
Doesn't have any effect.
It's not an SSRI. It does not affect your brain whatsoever. It takes away physical symptoms. It's for your heart. I will not listen to beta blocker slander from anyone, and if I do, I'm calling Mr. Bader.
You will hear from him directly. See, send a sentence.
I'm gonna call the cops.
Hi, this is Paige.
Me again. Um, real quick, you want to know what though? I did have the wherewithal to know that it wasn't an emergency and you call like the actual local police, not 911.
Is that 311?
No, you like look up like a real number. Oh, 311 is like—
who is that?
I thought it was 411. And is that even a thing anymore? That used to be like information. 411, you could call 411 and be like, what's the number to give it to you? Yeah, should we try it right now? Is that a thing still? I'm gonna try it right now. 411. We're unable to complete your call. Okay, just speak to a customer service representative. But you used to be able to call 411 and be like, can I have the number to blah blah blah restaurant on this, this street? And they would give it to you.
Not to age us, but do you remember when there were telephones on the street?
Like, I thought you're gonna say telephone operators, and I was like, no, Hannah, I'm not 100 and fucking 5. Oh, like, uh, what are they called? Payphone.
A payphone. I remember vividly.
You know, I never used one though. Like, I've never been inside of one to like use it.
Like, we just use it. You would have loved it. It's the best for prank calling. It's literally made for prank calling.
There's a new thing. I know we're like totally against ChatGPT, but there's this new thing going around on TikTok that people are asking ChatGPT, like, from everything you know about me, from talking to me, can you tell me what fictional character I'm most like, and I kind of want to do it. But also, I appreciate the environment, and I don't need to know the answer to that question, but also just know that I want to know so bad.
Manchmal willst du einfach nur ans Meer oder durch die Straßen einer lebendigen Stadt schlendern. Oder endlich den Moment genießen. Einfach die Welt mit TUI neu erleben. Mit TUI reist du so, wie du willst. Als Familie, zu zweit oder einfach allein. Flexibel, sicher und immer mit dem guten Gefühl, dass jemand da ist, wenn's drauf ankommt. Gestalte mit TUI Urlaub ganz nach deinen Wünschen. Überall im Reisebüro, auf tui.com und in der App.
Someone made a really funny video and they were like, ChatGPT to a deadbeat dad: You're really busy and that's why you're trying your best, but you can only be in so many places at once, and that's why it's okay if you don't see them for a while.
And that's why all the men are like so behind AI.
Oh my God. Uh, so anyway, also, have you seen like It's Enough Us comparison? Comparisizing us to like—
comparisizing?
I'm joking. I'm joking. You just— we are such a married couple. You got so excited to correct me. You lit the fuck up.
You were like, comparisizing?
What do you even—
but usually I know when you're joking. What are you even trying to say?
What was that?
Oh, okay.
But you know when you're comparing yourself? Yeah, to like women with Facetune, women with BBLs, women in general just comparing each other. Now we have to compare ourselves to AI girls. I tapped out because there's this whole trend of AI girls at baseball games and it's like, look at this hot girl at a baseball game and it's like an AI gorgeous girl watching the Mets or something. And that's like trending.
I actually tapped out when OnlyFans became a thing. I said I actually no longer can compete. And have the best time ever, but I can't compare myself to all these girls on the internet. You would go crazy.
That's why you gotta just stay in your own lane, baby. You gotta stay in your own lane.
Also, everything on the internet is fake.
I've talked to a lot of people.
Everyone said, you know, I've done some inventory this week too. No one's alive.
No one's aligned. No one feels aligned.
Um, I'm like, you're all— your aura is all out of whack.
I've done some control groups. People are not happy.
Also, everyone's on Ozempic, so—
also, I just got my period and my stomach hurts.
I got mine on Sunday. I'm actually almost done, but I got mine early. Oh, you know, it's so annoying, but when I am healthier, I get my period early and like regular. It's annoying.
I'm so sorry.
Well, I ate a lot of vegetables, I felt like, this month, and my period was like, yeah, thanks.
The Gigglers want to know, now that windbreaker gate has settled, yeah, did I ruin the windbreaker for you so that you can no longer actually wear it and I should just keep it?
Have it? Or I know you love that windbreaker. You love it. Why? Because it goes with like your hair color. Like, it's So like you're coloring?
No, but I just want to know, did I ruin it for you?
No, I actually almost wore it out to dinner last Saturday night, but then I decided not to go. But in my head, my outfit— because it was raining, it was Memorial Day weekend, what was better than a windbreaker? I was like, oh my God, I'll wear a windbreaker out to dinner. But then I was like, you know what, I decided I'm not.
I feel happy because I started to feel bad that I ruined it for you and I made it about me, and that's not the kind of friend I want to be.
Hannah, oh my God, you're so annoying. Because here's the thing about me, and you know this, I love an outfit, and I love an outfit that gets seen. So I've seen this, I've looked at this windbreaker 8,000 times on the internet. So the fact that she's having her own moment, she's gone viral, she's gone to so many events, she's seen so many different things, like, I'm like so excited for— I'm happy for her. Like, that's why I love clothes. I'm let them see the world, you know. I have an emotional connection to her.
Okay, good, good.
No, you didn't ruin it for me.
So we have kind of an exciting weekend.
No, we have a very exciting weekend.
We're presenting.
Yeah, we're presenting at Las Culturistas, which you've been to before.
I haven't.
Yeah, it's so fun. Remember last year I was like, I haven't had fun in years?
So much fun. And, and you wore a hat that I was really good.
Well, I just feel like when something is hosted by the gays, I don't get stressed about my outfit because I'm like, they're fun and they're like, they're like, go for it and do whatever and it's fun and be yourself. So it's like so much less stressful.
I think I'm gonna wear, um, a schmatta.
I don't know what that is.
It's like a bandana. It's like, you know, in Italy when they— you're in a convertible and you put a Yes, but I don't know if my head shape can pull it off, and I'm kind of nervous now.
How are you trying to tie it? Are you trying to tie it like, like around and back like you're in a convertible in the 1950s? Are you trying to do like—
because it would hide my double chin, and if I wear sunglasses, then it's like really cunt. But then I also could look like an egg. But then if I wear it like on my forehead like normal bandana Yeah, like going to the pool. That could, that could be a little tryhard. So I'm a little stressed.
Well, it all depends on your outfit.
Well, we'll deal with it. Well, you're stressed now. You're like, do you like your outfit?
Yeah, I love my outfit.
Okay, so you're good. Actually, you're fine. You have, you have the capacity.
I have no anxiety.
Okay, good. And we're presenting, and I feel like I read the teleprompter at AMAs because it was like Network TV.
Yeah, you're reading it also here.
What if I forget to read? How to read?
This is also network television. This is also going to be on Peacock.
Is that network? What's a Peacock?
Well, it's NBC.
Okay, I'll be good, I'll be good.
You know what's interesting? Like, who said like, oh, you know what, the perfect thing for our news station is a Peacock? Who would put the word cock Like, that is so crazy. Like, sometimes I don't even like saying peacock because I hate saying the word cock. I think it's so vile and disgusting, and it's like, it's harsh.
Someone was saying how like white guys love saying cock.
No, I hate the sound of it. Like, I think the word cunt is so much more palatable.
Oh, 100%.
Then like, I—
no, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say it either.
I actually don't think I can finish Like men say it like, like when they're having sex, like sexually.
Like, I think because it makes it sound bigger than dick and they need to overcompensate.
Dick is like cock's little brother.
Well, if you don't have confidence and you just say dick, it, it can, it could seem short. But if you say cock, it sounds longer. Cock sounds like you're sucking someone's dick when you Oh, this took a turn. Someone was like, this was such a nice pod about television. And I was—
well, because I always think about that. I'm like, that's weird. Like, anytime there's like something sexual, that's like— there is like an undertone of sexual— something sexual or like inappropriate. I don't like that. We're like, it— there shouldn't be.
Yeah, it's like either be direct and say what you're trying to say. But also, just men can't be dirty. Girls are allowed to be dirty, men can't.
I just want men naming things, you know? Like, who came up with the word— like, oh, our brand is a peacock? Like, no, that's weird. I feel like— no shade, no hate, no shade.
I know someone at— some giggler at NBC is like, okay, had a long week, come on. Also, it's crazy that they got that, like, nothing else's name's Peacock. There's some peacock fucking walking around being like, okay, that's my name. You can take it for your freaking thing. Also, everything's going to be owned by everything eventually. Oh, what the fuck?
No, literally. And this is why you can't ever get high. You're high. Like, that is such a high person. It's like that. And one day everything will be owned by everything.
Paige calls me high as a kite and I'm like, holy shit, we're on the same wavelength right now. And we talk for 2 hours.
Like, right?
Okay, I'm gonna actually write— tell you something I wrote down. Not high because I'm scared of smoking, that like if you were high right now you would be able to vibe with me at.
Okay.
I wrote, dating is just auditioning, but you don't want to be too good of an actor. That is so high.
And like, I see where you're going. One time I wrote down— I saw this the other day and I was like, you fucking Idiot. I wrote down the craziest thing high. Hold on. If the pros outweigh the cons, you still have to deal with the cons.
And you were like, genius.
And I was like, why do we even do pros and cons?
Like, you still have to deal with those. That is—
anyway, oh my God, I'm like sweating. That was so funny.
Also, um, Rowan is Brooke Shields' daughter, who's my friend. Name drop. She's really—
wait, I'm obsessed with that.
She's gonna be on Bravo's, um, Next Gen. She did the funniest TikTok about trying to understand when they first try to explain how health insurance works to you. Like, have you been in your job, like your first job, where they're like, okay, this is the health insurance, and then they say the word deductible, and no matter how many times you try to ask about what it means, no one knows what it means. And like, no one's ever said that word to me in my life. Like, how did I go 25 years without hearing the word deductible? And then it's just you like get scared and then you start checking off boxes you shouldn't check.
How did we get here? Wait, what the hell? What the hell does Rowan on Next Gen NYC have to do with health insurance?
She, she did a video about it. So I was giving her credit. Oh, and it made me laugh.
Oh, I'm like, wait, you are—
everyone needs health insurance.
No, my mom has tried to explain it to me since I turned 26, and I'm like, I—
that was so scary when you turned 26.
Yeah, also what a random age.
Also, deductibles literally just made up to confuse people so that we would pay insurance companies and not know why.
Do you remember like being in your early 20s and saying 'What if I just didn't have health insurance?' And everyone's like, 'You must.' Yeah, like, and you're like, 'Okay, but I don't know what it is.' And they were like, 'Eye doctor.' And I'm like, 'My eyes are good.' And they're like, 'Then why would I pay that?' I'm always at urgent care, so like, I am like the number one candidate of like, I know I actually need health insurance because if I feel like something's wrong, I'm calling some type of professional and making an appointment. See, I'm like a man Like, I'll be like, you're like an old Italian woman.
Literally. Like, I have a little thing on my back and Des is like, that's cancer. And I'm like, only time will tell. That's—
no, no.
Like, I don't know how I came out of my anxious Italian mom's vagina so chill about my healthcare.
You're Type A and Type B. You're like a combination because I'm a Virgo and stuff like that.
You're very Type Yeah, like I actually probably have had moments where I'm like, I should go to urgent care, but I don't want to talk to the person at the front. Like, I don't know what they might ask me for, something that I don't have, and I don't know if I could deal with that.
Before I like knew, really knew urgent care was like a thing, I would just like go to the ER and my mom would be like, stop going to the ER. I'd be like, something's wrong. There was actually in fact something wrong. I had a cyst on my ovary that no one could figure out. So like I would drop to the ground like walking down the streets of New York City. So, and they'd be like, no, I'm going to the emergency room. Why am I falling to the ground?
That's so iconic though. They're like, maybe you shouldn't be wearing 10-inch heels, but— oh my God. Um, anywho, is there anything else that we forgot to cover? There's a Martin Short documentary I think everyone should watch on Netflix.
Oh, I saw the advertisement on Netflix.
He's He's so freaking adorable. He's so adorable. A short man that I actually like. Actually the only short man that I like.
Good for him.
He's actually a short king.
Actually, I did watch the first 10 minutes. I just remembered and I fell asleep. Stanley Tucci's, um, second season of his like travel cooking show is out and it's— let me tell you something, that man. Yeah, that man's aura. Like, okay, he's a perfect example of a man that I'm like Or maybe it's just because he's European. Like, I don't want to say that he's gay, like, but he— there's like certain feminine things, but I'm like, no, I think it's hot.
Mm-hmm. Do you think anyone calls him Stan?
Yeah, well, that's his name.
I don't know, I feel like he's one of the guys that's like, it's Stanley. Wait, Stanley, it's Stan.
Have you ever met like a— like, like you meet like a Chris and he's like, it's Christopher, and you're like, okay, you fucking loser.
No one has time for 3 fucking syllables.
Or like, I'm like, if someone was like, it's Michael, I'm like, how about you shut the fuck up?
Like, you know, my brother's been Daniel because my dad was Dan or Danny.
That's different. There's another person with the same name.
But you know what's really cute? He went to like work for the first time and I met one of his co-workers and they were like, oh, you're Dan's sister? And I said, who? So he went to work and he had people call him Dan.
He like rebranded.
No, he like rebranded without telling us. And I was like, you mean Daniel, and they're like, Dan? And I'm like, oh, you think you're a grown-up? That's hilarious. No, I know. He didn't even tell us. Anyway, my name's Han from now on.
All right, well, this was an amazing episode. I'm not gonna be as fired up next time.
You were freaking jacked up. Hell yeah. And then we're so happy with the feedback from our live show episode of Mindy and Kate and Brenda.
It was so fun. I'm obsessed with Mindy Kaling, like, on another level.
I mean, both she You guys are literally the same person. It was freaking me out.
Yeah.
Um, okay, I gotta go text Kate Hudson, but I love you so much. And gigglers, thank you for giggling with us. We love you. Bye!
Paige is pissed off and Hannah had a kiki with Lisa Rinna. subscribe to our newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.