Transcript of Josh Safdie

Hi, my name is Josh Safty, and I feel like a liar saying that I feel anything about being Conor O'Brien.

Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens.

I can tell that we are going to be friends Hey there.

Welcome to Konan O'Brien Needs a friend. I'm the aforemen t Konan, joined by Sonam Obsessian, Matt Gourley. How are we doing, gang? What's happening? Good. Good.

Good in the hood.

What's the mood? What's the mood today?

Mood's pretty good, I'd say. Yeah? Yeah. No, am I wrong?

No, I don't know. No, that's pretty good. No, I don't know. I like to get the vibe in the room. I like to match the temperature. I wasn't sure today. You You all seem pretty happy, right? Yeah.

I wish I ate more.

What do you mean?

I just didn't eat a proper meal before. We're recording. It's almost two o'clock, and I'm hungry.

What is a proper meal for you? What would that be?

What did you have for breakfast? Literally any food in front of me. What did you have for breakfast?

I didn't have breakfast. You didn't eat breakfast? That's the problem. Okay. All the years that Sona was my assistant, I lived in fear of her not getting her sustenance. Because her mood would go. No, you would become the Tasmanian devil. You really would if you didn't get your food. Another person who does that is my wife. My wife, I learned earlier on going out, she would say, Getting a little hungry. What are you thinking about lunch? I would think, Yeah, we could do lunch. I learned that I need to act on that first warning sign because she's a lithium battery. She goes from having a charge to having no charge instantly. Then it would go downhill very quickly. You're the same way, Sona.

I pack snacks for my kids all the time, but then I'll eat them because if I don't eat...

But also- Can I say something else? Your kids are malnourished. Yeah, they are. They're not eating. You're constantly eating their snacks.

They're not eating. Is this the oxygen mask in an airplane where you got to take care of yourself first?

Yeah. But Liza can live off of an almond. I need a whole- Pheasant.

What?

It is true.

Like a I'm a history chicken. No.

I can't tell you how many times on the Warner Brothers lot, Sona was screaming at the commissary people, I want my pheasant. Remember? Then we got you a crown and a king's robe. Remember that? And a scepter.

And a scepter. And a throne. Yeah, I remember.

I want my pheasant.

Where's my Hassan Pheva?

You didn't get enough food. No, I did.

I need to eat something after this.

I saw Are you eating potato chips just before we recorded? I know.

I've been snacking. I understand.

I wasn't an accusation.

I felt like you were accusing me of saying you eat chips, so you're fine.

No, I'm not because there's no nutrition. Oh, wait, they were pheasant chips. They were. Yeah. It said now with 80% more pheasant. So I don't know why you're bitching. I need a meal.

I need something warm that was cooked, and I need it in my body.

What are you going to get after this, then? Are you going to go straight to a restaurant just by yourself and corner table?

I might. I need to eat.

You all both need to eat.

Yeah, I need to eat something that gives you more intelligence. Walnuts. Not just brain food, but food that actually is made of brain and gives you brain.

Did you say walnuts?

Yeah.

Walnuts make you smarter? They help you.

Seamons, too. They do. Why?

Walnuts make you smarter?

Yeah. Tell people, too, it's good for your semen.

What? Wait, hold it.

You and I are coming at this from different angles.

Hold it. I'm pointing the finger at you, Sona. What do you mean it's good for your semen? What are you talking about?

When you want to make a baby, you eat a lot of walnuts. No? Nobody? Tell me about it.

Are you serious?

Wait, are you talking about it's good for your semen Meaning that it makes better semen?

I don't know what it does. Like stronger semen? I just know if you want to make a baby- Wait, here we go.

According to the internet, it improves motility. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Come to me. And more foality.

Yeah, come to me for semen advice. Well, okay. It's good.

It's great.

Jesus Christ. It's good.

Can we get her a pheasant, please?

There are foods that- Low motility.

Aren't there foods that affect the taste of semen?

Well, I think, is that a myth? They say pineapple, right? Is it supposed to help it taste better. I say that.

Can I just say something? I can't taste the difference. I can't. I've had tons of pineapple, and then I'm like, I got to get any pineapple here. You're drinking your own semen? Of course. I'm not going to eat someone else's junk. What was that?

And you want Erwan to make a smoothie with your name on it.

Yes. Oh, no. Yeah. I'm not going to... Someone else's semen, that's disgusting. Why do you think I do all those back exercises?

Such a narcissist. You only drink your own semen.

I'm constantly doing yoga, and I'm like, I'm almost there. Anyway, no, I've had so much pineapple and nothing.

Oh, God. I've never held up a rap sign more.

Oh, rap, Well, listen, I think it's time to talk to an iconic filmmaker. Every publicist right now is taking us off the list. My guest today is a filmmaker known for such movies as Uncut Gems and Good Time. His latest film, Marty Supreme, is already getting just insane. Oscar buzz. It's everywhere.

I'm sorry to interrupt. What? When I go home, I have to log these things into a spreadsheet, what each thing is about. Sure. Eduardo and I will put in a small description. Sona talked about being hungry, but this one's going to be, cone and drinks on jizz. Yeah.

Post-pineapple Binch. Okay. Continue. Not for no reason. I'm thrilled he's here today. Joss Hafti, welcome. I think you and I are friends now. I think so, too.

I think we are. I You know why? Through Sandler. Anyone who you know through Sandler, you feel like you're a friend. The best.

My favorite observation about Sandler, and this is in the last couple of years, is he always says the best. I'll bring up anyone. Let's say I see Sandler in half an hour at the store where they sell overly long gym shorts for middle-aged men, and I say to him, Hey, I just... Only middle-aged men. It is such a long marquee. They card you when you go in. But it's actually I see Sandler and I'll be like, Oh, I know. What are you doing, buddy? What are you doing? Oh, I just saw Josh said, The best. And then I can go, okay. And then 20 minutes later, I can say, Oh, my God. By the way, I was just at a restaurant and I had a Ruben's sandwich. The best. And he keeps saying the best down to the point where you're like, yeah, and then I was in New York and I took the Lexington Avenue. Oh, the best. It's the best of the subways.

He once said it to me. He said once to me, I was like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. He goes, The best. The best. I understood it, though. It was real. I was like, Yeah, it is the best to go to the bathroom.

It is the best. You have that pressure feeling in your bladder, and then you don't. Then you don't.

It's the best. It is the best. My wife has to text me throughout the day saying, Go to the bathroom. I'll pee when I wake up, and then I go to sleep. Is that right? Yeah, it's unfortunate. That's why when I talked to Santa, I said, We're going to the bathroom. He was saying, The best. I'm doing it. I'm sorry.

He says it all the time.

But there's variations. The best. The best. The best.

But I love that he would even say it about like, Yeah, I think, well, apparently, the wife, the way she killed her husband is she used strychnine. The best. What? Instant. No trace. Doesn't show up in the blood. The best. Wait, are we talking about toxins that kill you? The best.

That's the best. And he calls you Coney.

Coney. He calls me Coney. He's the only one that can.

I accidentally said it to someone. They're like, What are you doing? I was like, Well, I'm going to go see Coney.

We're like, Who the fuck are you talking about?

Coney, 2012. He's cony. He's cony like a seven-year-old boy?

Also, we live in the same neighborhood, and I have been driving through my neighborhood and seeing what looks like 1975 Stevie Nicks walking down the street covered in different-colored garments. I look closer and it's Sandler where there's... God bless him, he doesn't try to match any clothing. It looks like a handkerchief store blew up near him and everything got glued to his body. It's every single color you can imagine. It's unbelievable. Then I'll pull up and I'll be like, Hey, Adam, it's me. I'll lower the window. It's me going, Oh, the best.

He got pulled into it. When I I was once with him and he got pulled into some high-end retail store because he's the nicest guy. So someone's like, Oh, man, I'm a fan. He's like, Let's take a picture. And they invited him into the store. He's like, I'd love to show you my clothing. Adam Sandler in a high-end retail store. It does not make sense. So he said, I was like, What was going on in your head? He's like, I was counting the hangers. At some point, I have to just stop counting. I did 20. Very nice stuff you have. You got good stuff.

Buddy, you got good stuff. I got to go. I got to go. Well, I also love, he will come by my house and he'll, unlike other people, like in LA, you call ahead. No one just drops in. He'll do a drop. Sandler will be outside the gate going, Cody, And then you let him in and he's like, Oh, buddy, buddy. And I'll say, Hey, sit down. And then within maybe two minutes, he'll say, because one time he brought his daughters with him. He was in my house for five minutes. We watched part of a football game and he went, All right, I got to go. I got to go, He barely sat down, and then he starts charging out, and he's shouting up the stairs, Come on, girls, let's go. Let's go. And he said, We know when we're not wanted. All I did was say, Would you like a lemonade? Let's get out of here. He moves fast. He moves fast. But we are not here to eulogize Adam Sandler. He's alive and well, and we love him.

Yes, the best.

The best. We are here, and I want to start with this, and then we'll talk about things, and then we'll get back to it. But your movie, Marty Supreme, is a juggernaut of delight. It is a just love that movie. I have watched a lot of Oscar movies because I got to host that thing. Movies that are getting up for awards.

Thank God you're hosting. You're great. You know what I was telling Mariel, if you were the host of a Denny's, I would go to that Denny's every day. Oh, thank you. Every day.

That might be more appropriate. If this year goes well, it's on to Denny's. I saw your movie with my friend Rodman, Flender, and I sat and the movie begins, and it was a party. It was just the crowd. It was one of those things that you dream about where the laughs are all there, the highs, the lows. From the moment that movie begins, I was in all the way. It was just an absolute pure delight. I'm so happy you're here because, no spoilers, but I want to talk about this movie. This movie is a major achievement, and I hope... I know you're getting a lot of love, but-Yeah, love from the people who you look up to and respect is just different.

But it means a lot. And also, weirdly, I was saying someone was asking me because Abel Ferrara, who's in the film, who I've been a huge fan of, and I knew him when he was not a sober person, and I know you did, too. And one of the best Konan interviews is the Abel Ferrara-Conan interview because It is like yoga, man. You are stretching. You are doing...

It was unhinged. It's unbelievable. And I'll tell you, sometimes there are movies about show business, and in movies about show business, like my favorite year, there's It's just improbable crazy things that happen. People get on stage seconds after they fix the broken set, and the curtain comes up like a second before. Abel Farrar was on the old late night show. He was this legendary director and persona. Not long before he was going to come out, he was not the first guest. He might have been the second guest. Dennis Leary was the first one. Okay, Dennis Leary was the first guest. Abel Farrar is going to come out. While I'm out doing the monolog, or maybe even talking to Dennis Leary as the first guest, Abel Farrar, who's in his dressing room, runs away, gets to the elevator bank at late night on Rockford Center, hits the button, gets on the elevator, and disappears. And he's the next guest up. I didn't know anything about this, but God bless him, Frank Smiley, who's been one of my segment producer forever and did every single late night show and was a major force behind the show. He takes off, gets another elevator, goes down, and then runs out onto the street and does that thing in movies where you look right, you look left.

Then he just gets a glimpse of Able Farrar in a leather jacket and that saunter, and he takes off, and Able Farrar goes into a bar and starts ordering a drink, and Frank goes in and has to drag Able Farrar back, convince him, control him, physically pull him, gets him back. They take the elevator up and he gets him back on his mark backstage, as I'm saying, ladies and gentlemen, Able Farrar.

That's unbelievable. I never heard that. Then he runs out.

You didn't know any of that? I didn't know anything because how could I? You're on the stage. Yeah. I'm just in full host mode. Then he comes out. If you ever want to look up that interview- That's amazing. I highly recommend. It's Abel Farr, Conor O'Brien on the late night show, and it is me talking to a wild animal. He is, I think, a big part of Marty Supreme, which we will talk about.

My favorite part of the interview, though, is how quickly Dennis Leary abandons any allegiance as to you. You would think the two of you would be connected and bonded.

Two Boston Irish guys.

Yeah, he's like, All right, this is my... He goes right. Maybe he wanted a part. I don't know what it was, but he went right to Able. Able doesn't smoke cigarettes. He takes a cigarette. He's talking to Dennis. Abel Farah asked me once to do a Q&A with him, and I've watched him do Q&A's. And his thing, particularly when he was not a sober person, was to throw the moderator under the bus instantly and just take it to the audience and then just make fun of the moderator. And he did that to you. Yeah. He did that to you. I think you said something about like Stallone subtitles at some point, and he was just like, What does that mean? He would ask me Every take, he would say to me, I'd tell him what the scene was and whatever. We had all these amazing conversations through WhatsApp because he lives in Rome. And he was like, Are you do it? I was like, I'll do it? Yeah, he's like, You do the scene. I'll watch I'll watch you. You do it, and then I'll know how to do it.

Something no actor wants.

No. Usually. Then he said, I did it, but I'm doing the scene as if I'm Abel Ferrara. I'm doing the, I'm not talking. He goes, You're doing me doing the scene. I was like, That's what's going to happen. You know what I mean? That's eventually what's happening.

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

His book is really good. He's been sober 13 years, and his book is good. Good for him. When I worked on my first film, it was that situation. Each take, he'd just walk away, wear in the lobbyer micro and go to a bar, pound a beer, and then put the beers inside of his jacket, do the scene with Roni, who's the lead of the movie, Mary's husband, who I wrote the movie with. Then Roni would do the scene with him. They never had one word outside of the actual scene We always exchange each other. Then for years, Abel would introduce me to people as his director because I don't think he remembered my name. I don't think he remembered my name. I love him. He's this very special guy. That interview with you is one of the great-It's insane. Conon flailing interviews.

No, You know what Lorne Michael said to me once? He said, Konan, people like to watch you work, and I realized he was right. People like to watch me squirm, contort myself, both my soul and my physical body in order to make something work. He said, They like to watch you work. I said, Well, I don't like it. I like it when it's really easy. Yeah. I'm going to get us talking about Marty Supreme, which is getting all kinds of love.

I'm going to turn this off quickly because I'm getting... I have a three-year-old, and she's probably trying to FaceTime me. It's all good.

Yeah, your priorities are correct.

Let me turn this off right now.

Quiet to the three-year-old.

Shut up, Minnie.

You're talking.

Minnie, I'm talking to Conor and O'Brien right now. You have no idea what this means to me.

I have so many questions about this movie, and then the first of all, is I don't think this movie could be made without Timothy. Timothy is this nuclear force at the center of the movie that needs to propel it. I know that you usually are thinking about who this movie has to be for. I know that you and your brother, when you were thinking about uncut Gems, it had to be Sandler. It had to be Sandler to the degree that you wrote it for Sandler 2011, he passes. He passes again in 2015.

Sandy passed a bunch.

That's what Sandy-Wernicke- Sandy Wernick. Sandy Wernick. Yeah. Sandy Wernick, his long time, and I love you, Sandy. Yeah. Oh, my God. But Sandy Wernick just kept Getting this goofy script, and I think not even showing it to Adam. Definitely not. But then finally, you guys kept at it. You didn't cast anybody else. In 2017, you get Adam to say yes. I think it has been such a wonderful thing Adam. Because after that movie, those of us who know Adam saw that he was a real dramatic actor long before Uncut Gems. But you guys put him dead center in the crosshairs and gave him this acting challenge, and he killed it. I agree. And that is you guys, that's Adam. But I know that that whole process of doing Uncut Gems 10 years?

Ten years, yeah. It's unbelievable. This one was six. My wife's like, You got to figure it out. Can't do it that way.

But Sandler, you know what's interesting?

It's like, okay, so I did the Then I did the special with Sandler Love You, and he makes you cry. Sandler can make you cry. I was just telling him in the clip that I saw from Jay Kelly, he's such a big golden retriever, or not a mastiff. He's more like a mastiff, big mastiff who's like, I don't even want to say out loud some of the things I feel about him because for me, I'm very emotional about him. I think most people who are close with him do get that way because he is very open. He's a a mushy, mushy person. I love that word, mushy. He's very mushy, mushy-gooshy, and mushy-tushy. That's what I say to my daughter. I've turned into a three-year-old. I say it all the time. I'm like, mushy-tushy. Everything is tushy with my daughter.

She's calling again. She's like, You got it right.

That's it. I'll literally just turn to my daughter, Minnie. Every once in a minute, like, Minnie, guess what? She goes, Tushy. I was like, Tushy. Anyway, Sam there's a Tushy guy.

Why do we have to evolve?

Yeah, we don't. We don't. I didn't. You got to be forever young. I had Jack Fisk in my production designer, one of the greatest of all time. He's just turned 80 or he's 79 or something. He worked with the best. He grew up with David Lynch, and he did some amazing movies, There Will Be Blood and Mahalan Drive, and Badlands. He met his wife, Cissy Spacek, on. He is probably the youngest person I've I've never really gotten to know. He's like an eight-year-old, and we're texting at 3: 00, 4: 00 in the morning, and I just felt so... I felt young with him. So you just stay tushy. You just got to say tushy all the time. Tushy, mushy-tushy. Mushy-tushy. But Sam, when I was making Gems, and spoiler alert to anyone who hasn't seen it, he dies at the end of the movie. The entire film, for me, was watching somebody who's so alive all the time, and knowing that he dies, I would well up and cry throughout the movie. He was like, What's going on with you? I was like, I know I have issues, but I really would...

It's so funny that you had the power to keep him alive.

I know.

I could have.

He had to die.

It's winged in his shoulder.

Not only that, but you essentially killed him.

Yeah, I know. It's weird.

Then this is I'm all broken up. Why? I'm going to murder you soon. Oh, it just breaks my heart.

But he is also the best. He's also so, to me, that he is that A live, electric character who is constantly looking to just disappear at any moment, just connect with somebody. And he's anxious. He's a very anxious person. His early standup where he's pretending to be things in the refrigerator. You know what I mean? His humor is very unique. I grew up loving those albums so much, so much, to the point when I'm meeting people who appear on the albums, I'm like, star struck. And so I felt like I knew him on some level. So When I wrote it for him, I also knew that he has this rage in him, which he does. That's real. That's not... I mean, it's obviously those who know him, he can have an outburst, but they're loving, and immediately he can go back to being mushy-tushy. But he's still Sandler, and he's the Sandman. How many people do you know in your life? You can just call them that. Like their nickname.

I knew six. I worked at a sand company for a while. I did. They manufacture high-grained sand.

You knew no one's name, so you just called everyone Sandman. That's what you do.

Half of them's name, when I found out, was Sandman. But it's interesting to me- The last name was Sandman.

Yeah, the last name. Jews.

Sandman. I'm Weshia Sandman.

I'm Superman. Spiderman.

That's what I would say.

I would say Marty is like... He's like Spiderman. He's Marty Spiderman. Yes.

Well, he is. I mean, here's the thing.

But I did write it for Timmy. I did. I wrote it for him. I met him before I really knew him as an actor. This kid that I met, I was at a premiere for one of our movies. Agent comes up to me, agent's at a party, and they're like, Oh, I want to introduce you to the next superstar. It's pretty obnoxious. You hear that all the time. Everyone's the next superstar. I'm skeptical, and I go and I meet this kid, and he's in the corner of the room, and he's with his buddy. He was there, but he wasn't there. He wasn't where he wanted to be. He couldn't stand still. He was He was coming out of his own skin, and he had these really big, dreaming eyes. Then I went to go see a movie. I'd call me by her name four months later. That movie could have been a small film. He just, through his acting, through his performance, expanded the walls of this movie made it a huge movie. I watched him on stage afterwards. He turns in this super serious star forming performance. Then he's being interviewed at the New York Film Festival, 1,200 people, and he's rocking back on his chair, which I do all the time uncontrollably, and he fell.

He fell down on his ass onto his back. Could have been very embarrassing, but every single person in that room laughed, and we laughed like we were his guests. That was because we felt so intimate to him. I wrote it for... When I said to him, I was like, I want that person to be this part.

Well, so it's interesting to me about this movie. I was watching it, and there's a bunch of things that struck me. But one, it reminded me a little bit of Frank Capra. Frank Capra used to make the most of small Small characters. So, yeah, okay, you're watching Jimmy Stewart or whatever, but then he goes in just to buy a newspaper, and the guy who sells in the newspaper is memorable. Maybe he has one line, but is memorable. That is usually not done anymore. Marty Supreme, I watched it, and I turned to my friend Rodman afterwards, and I went, Those faces, all the faces of everybody. People that are in that dreary hotel were able Ferrara lives. Oh my God, yeah. Anytime there's a face in the crowd and the camera's on them for a second, their face is fascinating. These faces loom out at you and they're absolutely incredible. I was thinking about All the supporting players.

We cast every single.

David Mammet, Sandra Bernhardt, Isaac Mizrahi, Abel Ferrara, Tyler the Creator, Kevin O'Leary from Shark Tank. You have, yeah, okay, Gwyneth Paltrow. Yeah, But that's not a shock that Gwyneth Paltrow is in a great movie.

She hadn't acted in a while.

Yeah, but to see Kevin O'Leary and say, Yeah, the guy from Shark Tank, he should have a major part in this, and then have it work perfectly. I love the fearlessness with which you guys say, Wait a minute, that's the face, that's the person. I think you're seeing something in them that you think is, as you said, it's all a documentary. This Marty Supreme movie is based on a guy. Loosely. Very loosely. Loosely. Very, very loosely- Inspired by. Inspired by, but it's a completely fictitious tale. Then what you guys do, what you've done is you've extracted the essence of these people somehow, and they're perfect in those moments.

When I meet somebody, I want to see the best in them. I admire people who are centered, people who are there, invisible to themselves, because I'm not. But I admire people who are iconic. They're iconically them. There's a guy in the movie who plays Abel's side, his friend, who's also in Uncut Gems, and his name is Mitchell Wenig. He met him in a diner in 2007 or something. I always wanted to put him in something. Benny and I put him in a short, and then we put him in Gems. I stay in touch with him. He shows up in the Sandler special. He worked for HUD, the housing department in New York City. Then his hobby is he's an autograph collector. This guy is in the movie, and I saw him hovering and waiting outside Gwend It's a trailer with a folder and glossy images of her from Emma. I said, Mitchell, what are you doing? He goes, You think it's inappropriate? I said, You're a co-star. You want me to get to your audience? He's like, No, I really want to be the one to get it because there's a specific place where she has to sign.

Yes. I know these guys. But what I love about him, he doesn't sell. So he's different from the guys who are selling stuff nonstop and making sure it's here and there. And he was good friends with Johnny Roe. Anyway, I love being around him. I genuinely like his point of view on life. I find it so refreshing everything he has to say. I am moved by people who are iconically themselves. So how do I get it? How do I do it? What does I see? I don't know. I just see somebody and I see them for their essence. And I believe that if you know someone really well, these interviews help. And getting to know them and making them feel comfortable. That's so much of directing. It's just making people feel... I mean, you had to do, still have to do it. And then they can get into a space where they can be without starting to sound evil, manipulated. But they can be- But that is your job to manipulate them. They can be led into situations. Then having someone like Timmy, I can actually work with him through him sometimes. I don't put marks down on the floor or anything and Darius, my cinematographer, is like, Master lighter, spends three hours.

He's like, No, they have to stand right here. I was like, Not if they don't want to, Darius. I was like, No, trust me. He's like, They have to. I won't be lit up through over here. I was like, Then they're not lit. Then they're not lit over there, and they're standing there, but I'll get them there. More or less, the blocking that I have, I generally know how this person is going to move, and they will most likely land in that pool of light. But if they don't, it actually helps add, I think, a little bit of realism to the movie because things aren't so perfect. Did you recognize the guy in the cage who's with George Gurvan, who's the great Iceman from the Spurs? There's a guy who works in the cage. He's like, I guess, the greeter. He's the voice of the ping pong parlor. There was a viral video in 2007 of this man on the side of the highway. He was homeless. He had a sign, and the guy said, All right, I'll give you a dollar if you use that magical voice that you claimed to have. He goes, This is welcome to Stephanie Live.

Yes, I remember that he famous.

It was like an early viral sensation. Then he became the man with the golden voice, and then he fell in some hard times, and Good morning, America called him the man with the so-called Golden Voice. He still had the Golden Voice, but I don't know why all of a sudden it was so-called. I loved him. I found him to be so special and warm and The voice, too. When you cast somebody, you're also casting a voice, which is interesting. I put Maryanne from Brooklyn from the Stern show. She's the first person you see in the movie. Her voice, what's great about Maryanne from Brooklyn is she's so beautiful, but you hear this voice and they put the crow sound all the time. Fred's like, every time she speaks. But her voice, I find the voice to be beautiful. Then you see her and she's beautiful, and then you cast her and she's the first face that you see, but you hear her first. Anyway, so I'm casting all of it.

But here's the scenario. But what I'm saying is-Sorry, I could talk No, no, no. But what I'm saying is the scenario that fascinates me is in this world now, post Marty Supreme and Gems, you're going to have so many big actors. They're going to be approaching you and saying, Oh, come on, Josh, I'd be great for this. I'd be really good for this. It's Matt Damon and it's Ben Affleck, and they're like, Yeah, yeah, and I'd be great for it, too. Then you have to tell them, Guys, it's not you. Well, who's it? Who do we lose it to? Who do we lose it to? You lost it to the guy who came to fix the toilet 40 minutes ago. He had the snake, and he was routing around, but he had the light hit him, and I just knew he had that purity of, I need to get this toilet unclogged, and I don't care how much shit I need to handle with my bare hands.

And by the way, that guy's playing Jason Bourne, too.

Yeah, exactly. Also, the safty version of Jason Bourne. But I mean, that is something that I- It happened with Dave Prumholt, actually, because he was going for the that Mitchell ended up getting.

And his audition was amazing. He was great. He's a great actor. I've always loved him since Sums of Beverly Hills, even before then. And he's just a fantastic actor. But then he's like, I saw the movie and I realized, Oh, I lost it to that guy. You know what I mean?

He paints lines on a parking lot.

They wanted this real person, this guy's essence. As much as he could emulate it, he's not that person. I think adding a lot of people who you also don't know, but you feel like you know them immediately, has this additive effect that you're just in real life. Every single person in a cast, the guy who works in the shoe store, this guy Lloyd, he's a horse better. He's a great horse better at Ocuodog Race Track. Ratzo, who's a friend of mine, you never crossed paths with him, right? He was not the lampoon at all.

I don't think so.

Ratzo, Larry Sloman, he was a great writer. He wrote Stern's book, Private Parts.

Okay, I don't think I know him, but I could. I might be best friend of them. I know him. I'm a very empty man. Who are you, by the way? Where are we right now?

He's the guy who plays the uncle, Ratzo. Anyway, so the backstory that I had for him is that he got this shop through his horse racing obsession. Then I tell that to Jen, and then just like, Oh, we'll look at horse betters. Then all of a sudden, you're getting Lloyd.

That's so amazing. This casting technique, it might change things because it's so effective and powerful. And this whole idea of, Well, we got to cast someone as the nerd who operates the elevator. Get me all the nerds. And everyone who has got an 8 by 10 where they're wearing glasses that's taped in the middle and they're like, what? They just find out.

By the way, I just learned what the word geek is. You know what a geek is?

Well, I know what I think a geek is.

I was talking to Ron, and he casually mentioned he was talking, he's reading a book about the circus in a six years time. Oh, yeah. A geek is the person who bites the heads off of chicken.

Oh, that geek. Yeah.

That must be- Circus geek. Yeah, circus geek. There must be some correlation between a geek.

But then it somehow became nerdy. It's like, no, it's original derivation is not nerd.

It's not nerd. Nerds are smart. Geeks are not smart.

Geeks are totally outside society and they're- What's a dweeb then? Well, dweeb is very different.

What is a dweeb?

Well, I'll tell you because I have long experience. That's why I'm asking. I don't know. I have no idea. I like to pretend I know instantly.

There was a great in living color sketch. It was like a geek, a dweeb, or a spaz, and you had to pick. I remember that as a kid. I loved it. Anyway, sorry, going back to why did I say geek? Oh, you're talking about the tape. Yeah.

But let's get back to the center of the movie, Timothy. He's spectacular. Also, this is something he did Last year in the Bob Dylan, he went off and learned how to play guitar in a very specific way that mimicked how Dylan was playing guitar in those early village years and got it down just right, which is no easy thing to do. No, not at all. Then for Marty Supreme- I mean, if there's any voice you want to emulate, Dylan is probably the easiest. Maria Callas, not so much. I lost that part. I don't know why. But when you get to to Timothée playing table tennis, he's so convincing, and I found out later on that, yeah, you can do things, I guess, with CGI or whatever. But he really spent a long time getting great at this. I started to realize he's built like a table tennis guy. Absolutely. He's so wiry and kinetic, and he's got so much energy that it's the perfect sport for him to play. I don't know if that went into- I think he would like to imagine that he could be an NBA basketball player.

But sure, table tennis.

No, I- Don't tell him I said that. No, I won't. Tell him I said, Oh, yeah. One of the- The Lakers.

One of the first inspirations for the movie was this character that my wife, who's a producer on the movie, got this book that was an autobiography memoir about this wiry... There was a bunch of these intense outsiders who hung out at this table tennis parlor, Midtown, New York. A footnote of history was interesting. It was owned by the first Black business owner in the Times Square district. His name is Herwald Lawrence, and that's who George Gribben plays. But at this place, which my great uncle played at, he said there was like an orphanage for outkasts, and they were all these wiry, proto-ADD, super smart people who got terrible grades because they just did not care for school, astrophysicists and criminals, this is a Motley crew. I was immediately when I was reading, I wanted to know what these guys looked like, and I typed in 1949, British Open. Immediately, you see these guys, these young guys, wiry, bouncing all over the place. I immediately called Timmy, and I was like, This is the project we can do together. I said it weirdly. I don't know why. I was so fearful of the idea of periods.

I put it to Peter Gabriel, and I have the touch, that feeling. The time I like is the rush hour because I like to touch the rush. That was the beginning of it. I just thought, if there's any sport, this would be perfect for Timmy. He spent seven years. I remember he played me early on. Seven years? Six years. Six years. Yeah, because he was doing it in tandem with Dylan. I remember he played me and my wife. We went to see him. He was just starting to learn guitar. He didn't know how to play guitar when he started doing Dylan at all. He's like, I want to play you a Dylan song, and I wish I could remember the song. I remember him playing and me looking at my wife and I was like, It's going to be a rough one. He was like, Well, that was good, right? I was like, You're amazing, man. That was something. I meant it.

That question.

That was something. That was something.

That's what people said to Dylan originally, too.

But then I watched him over the years in tandem with table tennis, and he started training with this guy who was the youngest US champion, this guy, Michael Landers, who was on a Wheaties box at one point. Well, maybe it was not Wheaties, but it was another cereal brand. Anyway, I watched him train and he got the mechanics good. Then by the time, I linked him with this husband-wife team, Diego Scoff and his wife, Wei Wang, who she was an Olympian, who he did because I read that he did Forrest Gump. I was like, I need whoever did Forrest Gump. I loved as a kid. I love that section, which is inspired by an amazing true story in the '70s that broke down the communication between China and the US.

It was through help thaw relations.

It was through table tennis. It was like hippie guy, missed his bus in Tokyo in the '70s or the '60s, and got onto the Chinese bus. They hadn't seen an American person. Now there's this long hair guy, and he's like, Hey, peace and love, everybody. The number one player in the world goes up to him, gives him a gift. The guy gives him a gift back, and that made news. Then Mao has invited the team to China, and then that broke. Then Nixon was like, All Then it became known as Ping Pong Diplomacy. Nixon visited shortly after. I didn't know that story until I was doing research for this. But you watch Forrest Gump, and you assume all of that sequence when he's showing up like Zellig and all the world history. But Anyway, so how did I get on that? Oh, Ping Pong with Diego, who did Forest Gump. When they met with him, Diego has this incredible- Diego is helping to instruct Timothée. His wife is going to teach him how to play better because the mechanics had to be perfect. Diego is going to be the choreographer consultant. And he has this incredible recorded library of footage of going back to the '80s of these amazing games.

So we combed through all of those and built each point, the narratives of each point. It's unbelievable. Yeah, it was really... I hope the games are really engaging and entertaining.

The games are thrilling. They're thrilling to watch. Again, what adds to it is that Marty's desperately wanting to be the best and show everybody actually probably knows I am the best and I need to show everybody I'm the best and I will do anything.

I love the Guinness Book of World Records. I've always loved it.

I was fascinated with that when I was a kid.

Because it's amazing because you'd be like, Wow, this guy's the best at this thing. He can hold his breath for three and a half minutes while balancing a ball on his head. There's something really beautiful about the desire to to have a place in the sun, basically. It's a car. Then dreams in particular are fascinating to me because they're... And I told the story like a heist film, but it's like dreams as heists. You're trying to control your own fate. And I think that adds to the level of suspense. It's like you're watching somebody, you know his dream is totally ridiculous to 99. 9% of the people he meets. And every moment that people do not buy into his dream, and every When he fails, it's approbation to them. Every time he gets set back in the movie, I think what I like to hear is people really feel that, and it adds a level of tension to it. But it's about a guy who really just wants to be the greatest table tennis player. But also doesn't really get him.

There's a lot of things about Marty that's unlikable, very brash, very rude, cutting corners left and right, throwing people under the bus if he has to. And yet, There's not a person watching that movie who isn't rooting for him. I find that to be really fascinating. And that's the sleight of hand that I think is really magical about- Well, you have to give somebody...

I think love is more important than likability. I believe that those moments that you are connecting with him are pure. Because they're pure, they have a feeling of love attached to them. Liking is more of a casual thing. I I think that he's chasing happiness, desperately chasing happiness, and happiness is a very fleeting, haunted feeling. Happiness is sad in a way because it's so hard to achieve.

It's trying to grab smoke.

Exactly. I think that there is something sympathetic to it. But I think his youth, I think when you're young, the concept of consequence is so small because the world is so big. Because it's so big, there's so many different options. Well, that didn't work. I can go over here. I think that that youth is also a little bit of... The movie is about being an idiot in your 20s. You know what I mean? Oh, my God.

Also, confidence. Yes.

Oh, my God.

This guy- You need confidence. This guy who talks his way into all these situations, and then he's in a big room, and he's in London, I think.

Which one in the dining hall with Kevin O'Leary when he comes up?

Well, he sees Gwyneth, Paltrow's character, come in. So this extraordinarily beautiful woman comes in, and he sees her, and he's like, Yep, going to call her up. Then he- Well, her stardom is like, it's so interesting to him.

He's just like, Wow, she burns bright. Distracted. He's upset. At the beginning, he's upset. It's the press conference that he's manipulated. He's upset that they're not paying attention to him in this moment because he has everything totally figured out. He knows how he's going to say the things that are going to get a rise out of these people, so they're going to want to write piece about him. Then he's going to be proud of his little... I used to walk around with a little village voice clipping when I would do my research and I'd pull it out to show somebody like, I'm a serious filmmaker. Check it out. Look at my little village voice clipping. And in hindsight, I was so proud of those little clippings. In hindsight, it's probably pathetic. You know what I mean? I'm showing this tiny little clipping, and I'm like, Trust me. Give me some money to make this movie. Look at me. I was in the village voice.

The minute someone pulls a clipping out of their wallet, you've lost the argument.

But it's But it's endearing when Marty does it in the movie with Gwyneth. I think that- That's the magic. With time, I've been able to... It was tragic, but it's comedic. What is the... Comedy is tragedy plus Time? That feels I think that's what makes that funny, is that it's so tragic that he is that way, but he's so confident that it down plays. I think his confidence is interesting to people. I think it makes people are motivated to want to root for him. Plus, there's a little bit of a trick happening where it's the sporting elements you're forced to root for him. Yes. I don't understand anyone who watches sports casually. You have to have a narrative. You have to have a team that you root for. There's stories inside of that so that you can invest yourself in the game. That's why I think people love gambling so much because it's like, Oh, I get to watch the sport and have something that I really want out of it. I think that that does help a little bit in the movie. I think you feel like you really have to root for him.

Now, what's We go to 10,000 feet, Google Earth, out of this whole thing. This movie now, it's awards season.

I was really there just now.

I'm not going to go even higher and actually talk about plate tectonics. But no, movie, awards season. Are you chill during these situations where you're going to go to, depending on when this airs, but it's still going to be awards season, I think, when this comes out. Are you able to go and be somewhat detached, or are is every fiber of your being hope that you come home with a big award?

Oh, my God, no. Part of the inspiration for this movie was the feeling that I had after finishing Uncut Gems. You have this 10-year journey where you're filting your entire life through these characters. You're trying to understand your life through fiction, and you're writing, you're creating these characters, and maybe you can change the way you feel. And like, Oh, that's why I did this, said this to my girlfriend or whatever, did this to my buddy. I woke up every morning, I had this, and I was like, I got to get Adam Sandler. Then finally, you're making the movie with a decent budget and with Adam Sandler, and then it's done. Then I finish the movie and I'm showing it. The pandemic is around the corner, unknowing Interestingly, and someone said, What's next? I started to cry because I was like, I didn't know. I had this hollow feeling because this thing that was my drive every single day was gone.

Didn't you contemplate maybe being an architect?

I did. How do you know that?

I asked I ask around. I walk around alleys with Abel Ferrari, give people $20. What's the word? What's the word on Josh?

Well, I said to Roni, I said, I don't even know if I want to do this anymore. And he was like, Whoa, you're my writing partner. What do you mean? I was like, I do. I would love to one day build a building. That's my big dream. I like the feeling of a narrative of a building, of going in and experiencing and having something happen inside, going out the back and coming through and then forever that area, you have a relationship with it. I've had that hollow feeling when I shouldn't have had a hollow feeling. I should have felt incredible. I should have felt like I did this thing. I should have felt a sense of accomplishment, but I didn't. That feeling, as you see that at the end of Marty a little bit, that he finally does this thing, but it's for who? For himself? For what? And dreams are really lonely. So that I have that now. I'm not going to lie.

I'm feeling this.

Next is the... I'm going to contact Burger King about designing their new... Because I think that there needs to be more esthetics in fast food. I don't like the direction of the fast food has gone in.

You know what's going to happen? You're going to go into the Burger King because you want to design a better Burger King, and you're going to see someone working the friar and go, That face. You're the next Myrna Loy. Myrna Myrna Lloyd. The fuck is Myrna Loy?

But I do feel like... So right now, I'm just having a slightly dissociative feeling. You made this really personal thing. It's connecting with people and audiences. It's, yeah, deservedly so. I was once at a film festival in Poland, and these were a lot of very small art films. I was there at a tiny movie that me and my brother made. There's other movies that we like, and they sat us all in one room. They said, One of you will be leaving with €200,000. It's, look to your right, and look to your left, and it might be them, and it might not be you. All of a sudden, everyone's looking at each other like, Get competitive. They're like, Holy shit. It was horrible. I didn't like that. I thought I was coming to this festival to share this thing, get to see Poland. Then that volcano happened. Remember the volcano eruption that no one could say the name of that volcano? And then all of a sudden, all the US judges who were supposed to come in and be a part of the government were grounded in America. So I'm like, oh, shoot, our best. Even Benny and I are figuring out how we're not going to win because we had these US judges.

So then we partnered with another filmmaker. We're like, all right, if you win, which we thought they had another great movie, if you win, let's share the money. And he was like, that's a deal. Then you get there and you're just looking at everybody and the competition thing is weird. That said, it's nice to win. So who won? Oh, not. The Polish film because they only could use Polish people and the jury. I see. You thought this was going to a place like, And we won. I did, too.

Hey, do me a favor, Josh. Sorry. Let's do a rewrite.

No, no, no. You won. But you wanted to know what's interesting is that they said, We really wanted to go and visit Auschwitz. They said, Okay, well, there's a bit of a situation because there was this volcano. Things are really scrambled. We can't really get all the people who want to go to go at once. So we're going to go at 2: 00 PM. We went at 2: 00 PM, you drive, we get there, and this woman who ran another film festival was like, Oh, man, I didn't realize I had this screening at 6: 00 PM. It's not like 4: 00 PM. It takes like an hour to get back. They were like, Can we do an abridged version of this tour? I'm looking at this, an abridged version of a tour of Auschwitz. They're like, Well, it takes three hours walk it. The woman's like, Can we do the hour version? I'm like, Look at this person. We're literally running through Auschwitz. That's where they experimented on the fetuses. This is where they did this, and that's where they did that. We're looking around. Then the alternative, if you won to the €200,000, you can get €2 million to make a movie that takes place in Poland.

That was going to be the movie. It was going to be this comedy that took place at Auschwitz about the tourism industry.

Oh, my God. But-difficulty of the Dive. I always judge a project by difficulty of the Dive. Your comedy about Auschwitz is pretty good. Wow. Well, listen, I have to say I wish you all the best because I really did love this movie, as did so many other people. I wish you well, and I think you're the real deal. Thank you so much for being here. That was killing.

Thank you so much. That was amazing.

Okay, I have a burning issue I'd like to discuss. It's burning. No, no, not that. Creams have solved that issue. And various ointments, savs, and related bombs. But that's not the point. The point is there's something real that's happening in the world. Sona, why don't you tell the good people what I like to have maybe three days out of the week?

You like to have what was formerly known as the Haley Bieber Smoothie from Erwan.

Yes. Erwan makes this smoothie. It only costs $800. You need a cosigner at the bank, but you get this smoothie. It's very delicious, and it's got various flaxes and resins, bombs, anointments, as before mentioned. It's got all kinds of stuff in it, but tastes good, I really like it. I don't get it all the time, but I get it maybe twice, maybe three times a week, sometimes on a busy week. And your skin looks great. It's been so good for my skin. It is called the Haley Bieber Smoothie. Very recently, David went out and grabbed me one, and he came back, and he was pale as a ghost, ashen. I just like, What happened? He said, It's no longer called the Haley Bieber Smoothie. He looked up for it on the board. It's not there.

There's not even an indicator like, This is what you used to buy or formerly known as.

No, her name's not there. It's no longer called the Haley Bieber Smooth.

I think it's called- A Strawberry Glaze Smooth. There's just no name associated with it.

Right. There's no celebrity name, and I don't trust any product that doesn't have A celebrity name. I'm very hardcore about that. Do you know what I mean? If I'm going to grill something, it's got to be on the George Foreman grill.

Will you just do any Rockin' New Year's Eve or only Dick Clark's Rock?

Only Dick Clark, and God I rest his soul, I won't. If someone says, Hey, let's rock this Eve, I'm like, Yeah, but it's not going to be just a generic rock. It's got to be the Dick Clark New Year's Rock & Eve. I am very much attached to celebrity endorsement. It's the only product that I really want or that I trust. So this has been a blow. I do think there needs to be a celebrity name attached to that smoothie. And so this message is going out to the good people at Erwan, I know that you must be devastated. My guess is that they had Haley Bieber under contract for a certain amount of time and it expired. And so now they're back to just old raspberry glaze.

Strawberry.

Okay, whatevs. Do you know what I mean? But I don't want to walk up to the counter and say, I'll have just some strawberry glazed. Boring.

Exactly.

Where are you headed with this?

I think we all know. I think we do. You need a celebrity attached to this, and it needs to be someone who- Young. Young compared. Hold on. It's all relative. Young compared to say people that were serving when Pearl Harbor was bombed. I think it's all relative. It's got to be a whipper snapper, which means anyone under 70. Real hit.

I just wanted... Eduardo pulled it up. Just to chime in. Technically, it looks like the name is the Strawberry Glaze Skin Smooth.

Yes.

Okay.

I'm going somewhere with this.

Thanks, nerd.

Well, I just wanted to say that I think whoever they choose next, whether it be you or somebody else, they're going to want to be their model for the skin.

Yes. Okay. This is why some people listening are like, Oh, that's going to be a problem for what Konan is about to pitch. No, no, no, no, no. It's all the more reason. A lot of people associate Konan O'Brien with, Oh, his super quick wit. Those bedroom eyes.

The eye vein.

The eye vein that is being put in a bedroom. The hair, the pompador, all that stuff, whatever. First of all, I have a strawberry look. That's true. Yes, I do have that. Oh, yeah, you make some points here. I do have beautiful skin. It really does glow. It really does. Because you can see light through it. You can see my skeletal structure. I am the visible woman. I'm just saying I'm I'm a pretty big name. Yeah. Am I young? No, I'm not young. But also I'm one of those people you're like, you're not really sure how old that guy is if you don't have immediate access to the internet. I behave in a very youthful manner, I'm very immature. All I'm saying is I am willing to lend my name. When I say lend, yes, there will be financial compensation, but I am willing to throw my hat into the ring because I'm sure other celebrities are pitching this hard. I know for a fact that Paul Rudd was in there two days ago, just screaming at them to call it the Paul Rudd. That is a death now for that. Yes. Does it have to be that one, or are you open to naming any one of their others?

This is my opening. It's a very popular smoothie, Eduardo. Why would you cockblock me with this? They have a whole bunch more. Let's see what we got here. All right.

They have an incessant Bits smoothie? That should be you.

There's an Incessant Bits smoothie that they already have, and it says made with real comedy bits.

You should choose the Always On.

I feel like this has to be it because this is the one you drink all the time.

Oh, look, Perfect Amino Choco Revive.

By Gary Breca. That one's got a name.

Who's Gary Breca?

I would do this. I'm sorry. If they're putting Gary Breca's name on a smoothie, then... Yes?

I think he's a longevity expert.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Rest in peace. We'll see. Yeah, exactly. Let's see. Gorgy Cherry crush. I'm putting my name in for this because there's a void. But if it has to be another smoothie, we can talk about that later. But you've opened a whole can of worms here.

Yeah, I think this makes sense because you- I enjoy it.

Yeah, you're red. I'm giving them- You're red. I'm plugging it right now. I am red. I have luminous skin. I am married to Justin Bieber.

If you can't get Haley Bieber, you seem like the obvious second choice to Haley Bieber. So that makes sense. I actually think it would serve them well.

But can't you see people saying, I want the Conan O'Brien? I want the Conan O'Brien. Be honest. Can you see them doing that? I actually would.

I'm not even joking. I think that Erwan should name this smoothie after you. But wait, when you say compensation, what do you mean? Do you want $200?

I'm not fucking around here. Okay. First of all, I would get my representation involved, and I would just start to hammer Eruan, and I mean, hammer them. Okay, that might not work. First of all, I'd go in and I'd say, What did Haley Bieber get? They would give an amount, and I'd say, I get 80% more. I've been around a lot longer. I think I have even better skin than her. It glows more. No. What?

No, but you don't.

Are you at all worried?

What?

You don't have better skin. Don't yuck my yum.

Are you worried at all? You're not using it right.

Laison be followed Connery for Bond.

I know that- Laisonby was great. Laisenby did a good job. He did. A lot of people, when you say James Bond, they think Laisenby. Oh, boy. They don't think. No, he's one of the best Bonds, and he's one of the Bonds people think about the most, even though he only did for Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Or on Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Okay. But wouldn't it be going from Sean Connery to- That's what he just said.

No, but I'm saying to go from him- Are you high?

I see what you mean Sean Connery to Mickey Rooney?

Yes. Thank you. Well, no, I was I'm thinking someone even...

Older. Older. Older than Sean Connery. Mickey Rooney is long dead and was old before he died.

Really old.

Yeah, but I don't know, Abraham Lincoln We're like... Have you seen Lincoln's skin?

Very dry. Look at those braided portraits. He's got very dry skin.

I just think there's so many young people that go that know Haley Bieber. I'm not saying young people don't know you because I know young people know you.

They know Conan O'Brien, and they have to deal with Conan O'Brien. They have to accept him as a reality. I don't even know what I'm saying now.

I know, but why? Why do they have to deal with you?

I'm like, Gravity, you got to deal with me sooner or later. What the fuck? I'm Gravity. I will get you sooner or later. There's no escaping this, Conan O'Brien. Oh, my God. He's not even my generation.

What if this actually does turn into Erwan coming back and saying, Let's do this? Yeah.

Great. I Also, when I said great, I meant great for Erwan. Great for them. Great for anyone who likes a good smoothie and wants to see it succeed. Because I bet there are a lot of people like me who need a celebrity endorsement to really trust a product.

Let me ask you this. Let's say they come back to you and they're like, We want to change it to Konan O'Brien, the Konan O'Brien smoothie. We feel we need to lower the price a little. We need to reduce the price by about 90%.

You're having a good laugh over there.

I removed most of the good ingredients.

How are you doing over there, Chuckles?

It's just crushed ice and some unpasteurized milk.

With sprinkles, with a swirl of asbestos. We got real 1950s asbestos and swirled it in. Listen, I accept the realities of the marketplace. She does dust. I am a capitalist, and I believe in the... I live and die by the capitalist system. So I accept the realities of the marketplace. Place. Am I as attractive as Haley Bieber? No, I am not. Am I as vital? Am I as much a hero to the young people? I get it. I'm not. So yes, it'd be a price reduction. Yes, they would probably have to discontinue some of the really good stuff that's in there and replace it with, I'll just say, Older stuff.

Same ingredients, but they're weeks old.

No, not weeks old.

What if we change the name?

They're all... The All the ingredients have to be from the Kennedy administration. Yeah, but I mean, would you- Milk that's still left over from the Kennedy administration. Wouldn't you change the name of it, though?

Instead of just being the Conan O'Brien Smoothie, wouldn't it be something a little bit more fun? I don't know.

What do you mean? But he needs that name.

I need the name. Okay. People want the name.

Maybe you could have a descriptor in the name of who you are. Then in parentheses, he hosted a show for a long time. Your parents would know who he is or something like, I No, this is a bummer.

Ask your parents. No. Ask your parents's smoothies. No, Sona. This is not what we're doing. It's just ground up K-Rations with the metal tin included. I don't know. We took Korean War Rations. Put them in a blender. We found some government-issued peanut butter from 1963.

And some Lucky Strikes cigarettes.

Listen, I get it. Yes, you are right. There have to be some adjustments to the product. I understand that these Erwan people aren't dumb. They'll do the right thing. I get it. I have some humility, but I will replace Hailey Bieber, and it will be the Conan O'Brien smoothie. I'm going to make this happen.

To be continued. I hope so.

Yeah. All right. If the ball's in your court, Erwan, if that's even a real name.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Cessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and nick Liao. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Erin Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brenda Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kohn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Konan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm. Com/konan. If you haven't already, please subscribe to Konan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcast fine podcasts are downloaded.