Transcript of 12 Clomp Program

Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Konan? Visit teamcoco. Com/callkonan. Okay, let's get started.

Hey, Joey. Welcome to Konan O'Brien needs a fan with Konan O'Brien. Hey, thanks for having me.

Hey, Joey, how are you?

Pretty good. How are you?

I'm good. It's so funny because I was told just before I got on with you that I've met this gentleman before, this Joey guy, and I thought, Well, I won't remember that because I meet so many people all the time. Then someone said, Yeah, you were at a bookstore in Cambridge, Mass, and he took a quick film of you, and I remembered it because it was so unusual. You were very nice, and you said, Hey, Konan, nice to meet you. Can I take a quick film of you? And you held up a very cool home movie camera. Yes. Oh, what? Look at that. This is the one. What year is that from?

Maybe '75.

Joey, really cool to see you again. I love that you- You, too. Walk the Earth like Johnny Appleseed, taking little clips of people. What did you do with my clip? And can I sue you?

I've been sued before, so I don't know how much you're going to get from me.

Well, I see some cool stuff behind you, and I want it. Joey, what did you end up doing with that clip? Did you release it anywhere? Or is it just in your vault?

I'm using it for the film about my life. Is that true? Yeah.

Okay. Well, I'd like to see a piece of that when it comes out.

You'll have to wait a few years.

That's okay. I'm excited about that. All right, tell us about yourself, Joey. It says here that you're a film preservationist. You're in Toronto right now. But there are obviously film preservationists that say work on the director's cut of Lawrence of Arabia and try and restore it. You've had some experience with that, but mostly you focus on people's home movies. Is that correct?

That's right. I love home movies so much.

And you love them why?

I think that micro history is so much more telling and fascinating than macro history. I know you studied history. I think they're one of the coolest historical documents to ever exist. There are so many universal themes in home movies, but then there's so many little individual things that you can tell just about a family or relationship dynamics. Yeah. I don't know. It's just they're really beautiful.

I love seeing home movies from the 1930s, the 1940s, '50s, '60s, because I know what you're saying. You can read about history, but when you see someone's grainy old footage of their Christmas and you really see what people are wearing, what the furniture looks like, how many electrical cords are going into the wall in some unsafe way, you Really? Well, yeah. You just see these little things that don't exist now. You see mannerisms. Also, you see, I think people have become very media savvy and camera savvy. Everyone has a video device in their pocket right now, their phone, and everybody's very aware and knows how to behave. There's a real innocence when you see That old footage. People wave at the camera. They're excited. I'm addicted to, Instagram is always serving me up, film that was taken in 1903. Three in New York because I just look at how people walk, how they dress, and they're shy, but sometimes they're very excited. They're not knowing and ironic and cynical about the camera, the way people can be now. Is that true?

I think that's pretty true. Yeah, I was watching the Mel Brooks documentary, which you did great interviews for. And it's just so fascinating to see Mel Brooks shooting Super 8 footage on the beach, and all the people behind him are so excited, and they're waving, and people are smiling. And today, people get so annoyed. They don't know what you're going to do with the footage. And it's just like people are oversaturated with video content, I guess.

It doesn't feel like it's not special anymore. Whereas when you look at really old home movie footage, there's a, Oh, wow, they've got a moving camera. Even when because the Kennedy family, it was a very wealthy family, and Joe Kennedy senior worked in Hollywood making motion pictures. He had access to really nice color film cameras. And so there's all this really cool footage of John F. Kennedy and his brothers and sisters, goof around in front of a really great color film camera in the late '30s and early '40s, and you can exactly be there. You can be there. A lot of them are taken in Florida, and they're just like, Oh, wow, I am there. I'm seeing exactly what's happening. You're not removed from it. You're in that moment.

It feels like being in the present, even though you're transporting yourself to the past. I I rarely feel such a strong sense of presence than when I'm watching home movies.

People will take their home movies, they'll bring them to you, and sometimes they have odd requests, don't they?

Yeah. Some people have bad relationships with their siblings. I've had a few people say, Can you cut my sister out of this footage? She's a bitch.

No, we can't do that. Can you do that? I I mean, first of all, you can do it.

It costs extra, but I can do it.

Oh, my God. Now, when you say cut them out, you mean you remove those pieces of film or you do some AI trick where you remove their image and replace it with a refrigerator?

I spend a very long time figuring out exactly how to crop the images or mirror the images so that I can get just the person who gave me the footage and their parents who have passed away. The sister might be on the side, and sometimes I make the edges fuzzy to get to remove their faces.

Do you ever add, instead of cutting them out, add devil horns? Yeah. A phone request? Yeah. Devil horns, a Hitler mustache to a brother or a sister. That is so strange. I would think you'd want to cut out all your siblings so you could live out your fantasies of being an only child. That's right. Yeah. Then add I have multiple parents that all love me. Parents from Leave It To Beaver, The braided Bunch, everyone, just hundreds of parents that just filled with adoration. Just all these fictitious characters. Put like a Jesus halo behind my head.

It'll be funny to get a request to give you different parents.

Yeah, that's very strange. I did very much love my parents. I won't be doing that. And my siblings, I will say. So I won't be doing any of that. But it's so fascinating to me how you then get dragged into the pettiness of people's- The family drama. Yeah. Like, take this person out. Or what about, Hey, I had some acne back then. Fix that. Do they ever say that?

I've never gotten that, but I could do my best. Would I have to do that for you?

Oh, God, no. Pristine skin, all the... You'd be like, Give me a tan. Yeah, give me a tan. Can you give me a really good upper body? Is there a way that you can, on film, make me go through puberty at 13 or 14, as opposed to 19? No. What? Did you really- That's a joke, Sona. Okay, I didn't know if you just shot up early late and your voice changed early. I did shoot up late. That's okay. Well, my voice hasn't changed yet, so what do you mean my voice changed? Have you seen it change yet? I'm still waiting. Still waiting for these testicles to show up. Can you have my testicles descend on camera, Joey? Joey, I want those things to drop during the Carter administration.

During the choir footage?

Exactly. Oh, my God. It's so funny that you've contacted us and that we had this interaction, which I remember. I think that's so cool. You always have that very cool 1970s film camera with you. You don't shoot everybody, but you must see particular people and you just ask them, Hey, is it okay if I take some footage of you? Yeah. That happens. And they're mostly happy to do that?

Everyone is happy. I've never had anyone... It's the opposite reaction to the cell phone footage. People are pretty excited to be shot on film. I guess it's still a novel experience.

Also, they probably think You can do so much malicious stuff with footage that's taken on a phone. You can add things, you can take it out of context. But you don't think that when someone... Your camera is so cool and retro and adorable, you don't feel that that's something that you could do with that. I'm sure you could, but it feels like you're coming from a really friendly, good place, which is very Canadian of you. Thank you.

I just remembered what I did with the footage. Of me? It's at the Academy Film Archive in LA.

What? The film that you took of me?

Yeah, the home movie footage. You're kidding. Is that a joke? No, I was a film archivist at the Academy. I did an internship there as the HomeMovie archivist.

Oh, wow.

They acquired my home movies at the end of the summer, and they have this whole Joey Lipback collection.

That's so cool. I hope I was appropriate.

You're preserved forever. If you never hosted the Oscars, you would still be in the Academy.

Hey, I wasted my time. That's all I'm aiming for. That is so amazing. While you were working there, did you get to look at any... There must be stuff that you had access to during the brief time that you were working for the academy that you were able to see. What did you get to see that really stands out?

Alfred Hitchcock's Home Movies. No. Pretty amazing. There's footage of him riding a tricycle.

Wow. It's pretty funny. That's a big tricycle. Steel reinforced tricycle.

I think it was for kids.

It was really small. It's made by the US Army Corps of Engineers. Yeah, Orson Welles on a Pogo stick. Again, US Army Corps of Engineers. 700 people were killed the day he went out. You You saw Charlie Chaplin home movies?

Yeah. I got to work on the home movie collection of the Paramount founder, Adolf Zuker. He had all this footage of him hanging out on different boats with Mary Pickford and Charlie Chaplin and Al Jolson.

All those silent stars. Yeah, that's so cool.

Yeah.

That was really cool. They're just goofing around.

They're just goofing around.

I love that because, again, the stakes are low. They don't have to present necessarily their public persona, they're just being goofy people playing around with a camera on a boat. That's where you see these legends.

They're employer.

Well, okay. Yeah, that is weird. You guys are never relaxed. When I take you guys out on a boat on my big yacht. Oh, my God. Yeah, your giant yacht. Yeah, the SS Ego. Then I'm like, I'm just going to shoot some fun footage. You guys always look so dour. Yeah, you have a cigar in one of those captain hats. Also, I said it's a it's 18 inches long. It's this tiny little dingy. It's a little Duffy boat. It's a little... Yeah, exactly. I'm like, I'll get a bigger one as soon as I get that contract renewal. Us just being tossed around Catalina Island. Well, this must be a lifelong obsession of yours because you seem like someone who came by this very honestly. My favorite, the people I really root for who I think are the luckiest people are the ones that have turned their childhood obsession into a career, which is what you've done.

Exactly. When I was a kid, I stumbled upon my grandparents' 8 Millimeter Home Movie collection, and it was like a dream come true. I'm a very historical thinker. I studied history and material culture in my undergrad before doing a master's in film preservation. Just getting to see My grandparents in their 20s. So fascinating.

Yeah. It's so funny because our grandparents are cemented in as they're old. Oldies. They always were. Whenever you would picture them as kids, you'd just take their old head from today and put it on a little kid's body, and they still used a cane, and they were still really mad when you slam the screen door. But it's great.

There's footage of my grandfather giving beer to a donkey.

Okay, well, that's just- That's what they used to do. I'm sorry. That's just wrong. That's just wrong. Joey. That donkey became an alcohol.

Or donkey?

Yeah. He was in a 12 clump program.

Oh, my God. So proud of himself.

He's so proud. Oh, my God. Well, Joey, you're here my last podcast. Don't ever be in that.

Something always goes wrong with me.

Come on, Sona. I'm a good guy. Look at her. Twelve o'clock. That's the best thing you've ever said. Might be. Might be, Joey. You were here for it. Joey, can you shoot on this Zoom? Can you shoot you talking to me with your camera?

I wish the I wish it was loaded. What?

Oh, my God. Okay, well, I just had so much faith in you that you were ready to go. I know. But no, I thought this can be part of his archive. I know. I love to do a more modern That's not the same. That's not the same. Hey, wait a minute. It's a Sony, and I hear those are very good. Are they a sponsor? No, but I want to get one for free. You want them to be? I want to get one for free. Yeah, that's great. Joey, did you have a question for me?

I did. I did have a question for you. I read somewhere that you're hosting the Oscars. I actually have a job interview at the Academy on Friday. Oh, really? I was wondering if you had any advice. I wanted to know how your interview went for the job.

Well, I did it last year, so that interview went okay. I'm doing it again this year. That was a wobbly interview. They decided to take me anyway. Well, first of all, let them know that we're friends. We know each other. Tell them, Konan says hi. Would you be my reference? Seriously, I would be. I'm not kidding. Thank you. I mean, I'm not joking. I will be your reference. Judging by all the knickknacks behind you, you might be a murderer, but a kindly murderer, a kindly Canadian murderer. I mean, one of the things he has is your 10th anniversary. Yeah, I know. That's what makes me scared.

I got it for a dollar 99 in a Northern in Ontario. Oh, man. But it's priceless to me.

Hey, Eduardo. Eduardo. Wow. Man, you put the knife right in my back. Oh, my God. God damn. I got to get myself to Toronto and hang with Joey where it's safe. Yeah. He just wants to watch himself on the DVD. Yeah, exactly. I'll just be watching it with you, nudging you. Isn't this great? Joey, yes, I will be your reference if you need a reference from me, and they can give you my information after this is over. I seriously will. I'll put in a good word for you, and then you'll see that they never called me back.

If I don't get the job, that means it was because of you, though.

It was me. I would say, Lock that down fast. Joey, yeah, I don't have any advice for you. I think you're doing all the right things. You seem like a really nice, creative, cool guy. Yes, he does. I'm so glad that I met you before, and I hope I meet you in person again. It's just-Thanks, Konan. Yeah, seriously, you're a good fellow, and I wish you all the best. I really do.

Thank you. I was wondering if you might want to come to my movie premiere in LA.

When is it?

It's in the beginning of May.

Okay. What movie?

What is the movie? It's called Ghost Camera. It's a movie I made. It uses my home movies, my grandparents' home movies, and then I shot stuff in the present. To contrast it, it's like I play a fake version of myself who's in a band, trying to be the greatest cover band in the world.

Okay. What's the reaction to this film, Ben, so far?

Five stars across the board.

Really? All right. Are you only inviting Konan? Because I felt like that was only directed towards Konan, man.

Sona, would you want to come to my movie premiere?

I do. Thank you so much.

Oh, my God. I would love to see you there.

That's so sweet of you to think of me. Thank you so much. Yeah, Eduardo, you're not coming. Great. Overpaid.

Eduardo, would you like to come to my movie premiere? I'd love to.

Damn it. God, I have no poll with Joey. Yeah, Joey, if I can be there, I'll be there. I can't make any promises. I'm highly in demand. Cut to Konan doing absolutely nothing. Watching your 10th anniversary show. Yeah, yeah. Watching my 10th anniversary. Then taking occasional breaks to follow a Star Tours bus on my tricycle that I got from the Hitchcock estate. Pedaling furiously, Hey, come on, I'm Hey, Joey, this has been really fun. Take care. Thank you. Yeah, I hope to see you soon. All the best.

Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Konan O'Brien, Sonam Obsesion, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and nick Leal. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Aaron Blaird. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Burm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm. Com/conon. Please rate, review, and subscribe to 'Conon O'Brien Needs a Fan' wherever fine podcasts are down.