Transcript of Tim Dillon Joins Bad Friends on Patreon Today

Hey, everybody. We're doing a Bad Friends Live show. It's called Scary Times USA.

Scary Times USA. How do you watch it? Go to moment. Co/badfunds. It's Thursday, October 24th at 6:00 PM. We're going to have exclusive merch available for it. So Bad Friends, Scary Times USA. Hey, dude.

America, dude. Yeah, live stream. October, that's 6:00 PM. Pst.

We're live streaming it. So join us, moment. Co/badfunds. We'll also be hosting an interactive VIP after-party after the show. An active Patreon members can join the VIP Afterparty for free.

Scary Times USA.

Ladies and gentlemen, Tim.

Tim.

The guest of the Year.

We've never potted together.

Tim Dylan. Never.

No, really? We've done a lot of stand-up.

Because he canceled on Tiger Belly three times.

You've canceled him multiple times.

No, that's insane.

You've canceled. Bobby has canceled. That's fucking insane that you would even say that.

We've both canceled. Tim. Everybody knows Bobby never cancel.

Also Tim, this too.

I've canceled more. You canceled I canceled first, and I've canceled more. You have canceled. I'm more wrong.

But you know the game tag, where you tag and then you run away, right? I didn't start the game tag.

You did. I fully take responsibility for canceling first.

Then let me ask you this.

But I believe if I had not canceled first, you would have canceled.

That's correct.

That's what you believe.

That is my belief.

It's my belief.

It's a belief system, yeah.

You are the cancel king. You cancel king.

But we both can't. By the way, the funniest thing ever is when me and Bobby We are both on a lineup, and neither one of us goes.

All the time. Happens always.

That is very funny.

I got a call from a producer going, I had Tim and Bobby cancel. Are you around?

We never show up.

A lot of times-We don't. Stuff happens.

Yeah. Well, sometimes I call you. One time I called you and I go, Are you going? And you go, I'm not going. I'm not going either.

That one time. You both do that a lot.

To the end- One time I sent him a COVID test. I sent him a photo of a COVID Of the COVID. By the way, years after COVID. Years, many years. Young kids didn't even know what it was. I was sending him a picture of the COVID lines.

But he didn't send the promoter that test, but I did. He said that I had COVID to the guy, right? But then I actually sent him the test that he gave me to him. Brilliant. Saying that I have it. It makes him look like he didn't have it.Correct.Yeah.Right..

Good move, Bob.

I mean, you know. But The thing is me and Bobby will lie and then get found out, and then we don't care that much.

It doesn't matter.

We don't care. We don't really care that much.

No one's going to get that mad. It doesn't matter. We're being used. That's right.

We are. It feels like we're being used. It's like some guy that never said hi to me before. Can you do my show? Yeah, you'll put me on the flyer.

That's why. And they'll use your name to sell tickets. Right.

I don't show up.

I don't like being one promoter, and I'm not going to say who.

Can I guess?

You I can guess after I've said this. One promoter literally said, I can't pay anyone tonight because my father has Alzheimer's. I swear to God. Then that person said, and I was like, Okay, I guess. God damn.

Well, yeah. Have you canceled? You cancel.

There's times I have to cancel.

Why?

If I just can't make it, if we're doing too many pods and all this bullshit, I'm never going to make it. You'll cancel because you're tired.

True. True. Preach. Every now and then, Emily at the store will call me. She'll go, Are you close? I'm at Nobu Malbu, and I have a two of a roll in my mouth.

You're that far. I go, Oh, yeah.

I'm right down Sunset.

You're the most nightly Marish person to follow. That's not true. 100%.

It's very nice of you. I've heard you say this before, and I really appreciate you saying-I've texted Emily that. That's very nice of you to say. But I feel that way about you. I hate going up after you.

When you're on, dude, it's unfollowable.

Sometimes you're When you're off, I like it.

But when you're on, dude, oh, my God.

When I'm off, I'm off. But if I'm on, it's good.

But you're funnier when you're off because you get angry.

By the way, I agree with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree with you. But I love you. I feel like we have a similarity in that sense. Just energy-wise.

Yes.

Because sometimes we don't want to do it. What's going on?

No, I'm listening. I do enjoy it. What's going on, dude?

Sometimes we don't want to do it, and we have shorts or sweat pants on, and we're on stage, and we're angry that the audience came. I know. That's the best time.

You're moody girls. You're both a moody little girl.

He also contemplates things afterwards sometimes. Yes. He'll go, Maybe I should open my own club. Remember that one time?

Yes. That's what you call him having my mental illness. Yeah. A full mental break.

Because he was trying new stuff. You know what I mean? I get you. The main room can be packed. Just wasn't working. There's a pressure. Sure.

Tim's the only comic that's tricostal. Tim moved to.