Transcript of Bobby Turns 60!

Hey, bad friends. Hey, everybody, bad friends.

We have merch, merch. We're doing a merch competition for our fans to see who can create their dope designs. The best ones. End up on our shirts, our hats, beanies, whatever. Because they're creative. We want to see how creative you can get. Send your creative designs to carlosinthebooth@gmail. Com. Carlosinthebooth@gmail. Com. I'm sure we're putting it on the screen right there. Send in your ideas for your Bad Friends merch and make it a reality. You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots?

A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

I'm really you two or something.

We're bad friends. What's that? Oh, she kicking it also.

I am scientist. Put your headphones on and we'll find.

We're doing sketches now. Put your headphones. It's all making sense. Now I'm having fun.

Ladies and gentlemen, Chilly Chille is in the house.

Yeah, Chilly was still.

There it is right there. Who am I? Do you know who I am?

I am a scientist from North Korea.

Well, it's that in a combination with that and Drugstore June. I'm the pharmacist. Yeah. Your favorite movie, Drugstore June: Pharmacist.

Oh, God, guy.

Look at this. And the boys, you know what they are?

nick Guison. Yeah. You're G-Un Park? Mm-hmm. You know what it is? That's the guy your mom likes. Who are you? No, that's son. Who are you, Pete? Me? No.

Pete. Me? Yeah, you're the Pete. Oh, that's me. My God. Pete is back.

Hey, guys.

I missed you. What did you bring us, Pete? Well, for Bobby's birthday, I have my kids do some portraits of you in that blue bag over there. They do some portraits of you. Let's get it out of the way real fast. Happy birthday to you. No, no, no. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Robert. Happy birthday to you. All right, let's see the photos.

Okay, photo number one. That's my son, five-year-old son. I thought it was a priest and the exorcist.

Yeah, that's what your five-year-old son thinks Bobby looks like.

The priest of the exorcist. Fantastic.

Let's see the next one.

Oh, shit. My three-year-old. This is four in the morning, Bobby.

Let me see. That's right now, actually. I can't sleep.

Doing wide- Eyes.

I can't sleep. A little wide-eyed, Bobby. All right, who's the next one? Okay, next one.

My three-month-old. Oh.

Wow.

Your three-month is-Oh, man. No. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. He's a good guy. What's the next one? He's a good guy you'reWhat's the next one?He's.

A good guy.I.

Tried to make it.

This is Pete.

This is you? I tried to make it. Yeah. Whoa, right here. What is this?

Pretty similar to the three-month-old.

Yeah.

Pretty right on par. Yeah.

So thank you so much for Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

That's the present? They worked really hard on that. We all worked on it.

Rudy, what did you get, other than being Chilly Chill, probably costume of the day, Chilly Chill, what did you get, Bob, for his birthday? He can open it. Give it to me. I'll give it to him. Are you sick, by the way? You sound sick.

She was a couple of weeks ago.

That's nice. Nice bringing it here.

I'm not contagious. She's not contagious.

I promise. All you people say that.

All right, so this is great. Can I Can I just make… Okay, I'm going to guess. A candle. No. Soap.

No.

Well, kind. Body wash.

No. Okay.

Just open it. Okay, it's fine. Let me see.

What is that?

This is cool, dude. This is for the bath, dude.

Show me.

Is there a price tag? No, I can't. I get it.

Oh, that's nice. This is bath salt. You could smoke this. You could smoke this and get ripped. Yeah.

So this right here is...

I don't know if you like it, but I know you really like perfume.

It's a cologne for men or women?

I don't know. I just like the smell, and I thought you'd like it.

That's a sweet. That's a sweet, Josh.

It's too dark to be good.

No, I think it's going to be good. Oh, shit.

How is it?

Really good.

Really? Yeah. Let me pass it.

It's like it's musky.

I can smell it from here. What brand is it?

I don't know. Filling Fragrance.

Oh, is it Filling Fragrance?

Yeah.

No, that says, Fragrances.

I really like it. It does sound sorry.

Oh, this is Paul Gostet. It's really good. Paul Gostet. Do you know this? The next one because you smoke a lot. Yeah, you do? Yeah. We got to quit. It's an ashtray.

Fucking amazing.Let's see.

Can I say something to you?

Dude, what a great gift. Yeah? Honestly, I have to give it a 9 out of 10. That was really good, dude.

Any gifts from the room up there?

You know what? It was thoughtful. You thought about it. You're not just giving me socks like Steve does, my brother.

Is that what he got you this year, socks?

No, but he'll just go, Hey, happy birthday, dude, and give me a pack of socks.

Well, you do like socks.

I know, but still, it's not thoughtful.

All right, let's see what the boys got you.

Okay, so-Go ahead Carlos, you want to set it up? Yeah. Me, Andres, and Mocon went to Echo Park. We put it out there on Instagram to all the fans to come do a video for us. And this is from us and the fans to you.

All real fans pulled up to Echo Park.

That's amazing.

Yeah. Happy birthday, Bobby. Happy birthday, Bobby. Thank you so much for making me laugh during my childhood on Matt TV.

Happy birthday, Bobby. We love you.

Happy birthday, Bobby. You have put me through a lot of things, and I'm so appreciative of you.

Happy birthday to my bisexual brother. I'm sorry about everything on the road in 2023. It's almost 2025 now, so we can move past it all. Happy birthday. I love you. Happy birthday, Bobby. We love you so much. We wanted to show how LA loves you, so we pull a call out and LA answer, Happy birthday, Bobby. Happy birthday, dear Bobby. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Five. Happy birthday, dear bossy.

Happy birthday, happy birthday to you.

La answer. It's so funny. That's so funny. That's good. There you go. Well, that's cool.

Five people showed up. They came in droves, huh? Wow. I guess that was hard to contain. Did the cops show up? Because that was too much of a-I mean, the photo before, though, looked like there was a lot of people.

That one.

What's that? That's a stock photo. That's a stock image. The wide didn't look as good.

I thought that was it. I was like, Oh, that was cool.

No, five.

But there was just only five. Yeah. Okay, well, thank you for showing up to that. God, you guys really love to do this to me. We have a video from Fancy, too, because he's not here today. Okay.

Yeah, he went somewhere to-Sad that he's gone. Happy birthday, Bobby.

I'm sorry I'm not there celebrating with you, but I'm doing something nobody else has ever done for you. I took a plane last night, and I'm here in Springfield, Ohio, looking for your favorite treat. Happy birthday. It's so topical. It's so topical. He's He's right on beat.

Very good. He's on beat, that guy. He doesn't miss. Yeah.

He's looking for catmate.

Well, I got you a gift. Thank you. I actually got something really special and custom made for you. Thank you. You want to come here, Ben? I got you something real. Actually, look at me. Very special for you.

Thank you, man.

This is my good friend Ben Baller came by.

What's up, Ben? Fuck yeah, homie.

Ben, you want to sit in this seat for two seconds? You're the best. I love you.

Dude, you came all the way over here, Ben?

I just landed from Chicago, man. He just landed.

Wow. You came here for what? Not just this.

There's no way you came here for this. He did. He came here just for this.

Why? Just mail it to me.

No.

No, this can't be mailed. This can't be mailed. Oh, wow. Ben. Oh, my God, dude. Dude, I'm like, Today, what a day. Rob Lowe earlier and now Ben Baller.

What did Rob Lowe do for you?

He just talked to me for a second. But anyway, no, I'm just saying running into people.

You're filled with joy right now.

Pretty joyous.

Your 53rd birthday.

This is great, dude.

How old are you, Ben?

Shit, I know he's older than me. He is, yeah. How old are you, Ben? 51. Fuck, dude. But look at how much better I look.

You do look really good, doesn't he? Yeah, Rudy You look really good for your age.

You think?

Yeah. Cool it out. Cool it out, relax. Cool it out. That's enough of that, pervert.

Ben, you're married, right? In the middle of a divorce, and the kids are outside. Oh, they are? They're outside? It's all good. Okay.

Thanks for bringing it up, man. Sorry, my bad. I even told you, don't bring up the divorce.

You'll find somebody. No, I'm good. No, you're killing it.

No one's worried about him. But he's got a special gift real fast.

Okay. Dude, already, dude? It might be better than hers.

I did something for you that you probably won't believe. I called him up. I said, I need a favor from you, and I need you to help me out.

It's brass knuckles. Please tell me.

Do you want to show him what it is? You want to show him? Just a little something from me to you. Nothing crazy. But if there's one person to call, it's Ben Baller. I said, Ben will get you something dope, and he'll know what he wants, and it'll be great. I think this is your style.

Why are you?

Is it alive? Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it. Okay, I'll close my hand.

But I said, he got to match Bob's style. And he goes, I know exactly how to match that guy's style. I know what he wants. I know what he needs. Some months you spent? We don't have to talk. We will talk about it in a minute. Okay. You could tell him after.

Wait.

Wow. Put it around his neck.

There's no fucking way. Take off your headphones.

There's no way, dude. There's no way, dude.

Okay. Wait till you see how heavy this is. Wait till you feel it. Wait till you feel it.

Wait, God, your head is fucking cute. No, his head's not big.

Trust me, I'll tell you how big it is. Okay, okay. Wow. That's over a kilo of gold.

That's a kilo of gold. Wow. Well, here's why. I said to Ben, I know Korean culture, big on church. We're trying to get you back into religion.

The weird thing that you would give me, though, because I don't have a cross. I'm not a Christian. I have to walk around with this and go, Hey.

First of all.

I'm going to thank you. I appreciate it.

You told me spirituality was being poured to you again.

Yeah, but not Christianity. It could have been a A Buddha would… I'm sorry. It's 120 carats. I understand the karats and the gold and all that. I'm sorry.

Are you joking?

No, you fucking with me.

What the fuck? I thought it would be cool. I thought it's like when we… You really don't like this?

No, it looks cool. I'm just saying that it's like I'm not a Christian.

It's more than that.

Okay, it's cool. Thank you. First of all… I mean, a Buddha? Or even the Yin and Yang, maybe? Do you Did you not like it? No, I really love it.

Because this was not cheap. No, I love it. No, I'm serious. How much was this? Tell him everything about the piece he's wearing around his neck.

Tell me everything about it. It looks beautiful, though. It's about 130 carats.

There's actual glacier blue diamonds on there.

It's over a kilo in gold. It's about $260,000 together.

You don't like it.

Give it back. You got to give it back.

Stop. You don't like it? You have to give it back. No, don't take it off. I have to take it off. I'm going to be so offended if you take Can I take it off. I'm not kidding. I'm going to be fucking pissed off if you take it off.

Can I be completely honest with you right now? Because you're my friend. I love you. Can I be completely honest with you? I love your shit, dude. It's so beautiful, right? But can I be honest with you? It's so heavy. I can feel it yank my neck for it. It's like, it's so heavy.

Well, this can be exercise for you.

I know, but it's like I have to literally-Well, yeah, you should stand up straight. Yeah, it's on me.

Okay, it's $2,000. It's like a bow of constructors on me or whatever. You don't like it.

I love it. But why did you spend that much? Get me a car.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I'm super-I love it. I can't believe it. He hand-designed that. It's for you.

I'm kidding. I'm playing it for comedy. Of course, it's great.

You don't like it.

That's Hanguk made. It's Hanguk, no. Of course, I love it.

Are you disrespecting the culture right now?

No, of course, I love it. But can I just, for right now, so I can perform, can I take it off my neck? No. I can just keep it on the whole fucking show? Yes. I have to wear this all the time?

I spend $260,000 on it.

I have to wear this every day. When I go to Hawaii tomorrow.

It's a condo. I bought you a condo, and I thought you'd be appreciative.

Thank you so much, dude. What a fucking pleasure. What a beautiful present. Chido, to be fair. Yeah. In about 45 minutes, he needs some Advil. It'll just cut the circulation.

It's a kilo of gold. Mike, okay.

Yeah, it's just Ben knows.

But still.

I feel like you're trying to kill me. Maybe. No. So honestly, can I talk to you?

Talk to me on the mic. We're on the show. Talk to me on the mic. We're on the show.

Yeah, maybe. Okay, but can I... Maybe I have to cut this part out? Why the fuck? I'm sorry. I don't even care.

He set the wire yesterday. It was Friday. He's paid. He doesn't care. It's over. You spend that much money on this?

Are you out of your fucking mind?

Did this guy or did this guy not talk incessantly about, I better get him something extravagant, unbelievable, expensive, over the top? I had to call my business manager and move money from a private fucking account to get this done for you.

Yeah, but then... What?

Yes. What the fuck? You think I have that money just sitting somewhere? I had to pull it out of my savings.

Ben, are you being offended right now? What are you doing? You're like, Dude, you're a Yakuza fucking thing. You're going to fucking kill me. He will fucking kill you. With your arm legs. No, Namaste. Thank you so much. Very good. I like it. So what I'm saying to you is very beautiful. It is. What do you think, Jules?

It's That's really cool, but I feel like you would die from it.

Exactly. Yeah, thank you. Dude, I think you're being real. Here's the deal, dude. Okay. I don't know. Can you get your money back? How about this? You don't have to give me anything. Just take your money back.

No, dude, you can't get your fucking... What are you talking about? That's it. It's over. It's done.

I'm going to put this in a vault then. There's no way I'm going to... Because it's so expensive. I'm going to put this in a vault.

You're not going to wear it out. You don't even want to show it to that it's a thing that I got you.

If you wear that in Hawaii, you will look like a fucking G.

You'll be a king. Don't you want to walk around a king that you are?

You're saying that if I walk around with this fucking thing, can I see what it looks like underneath the shirt?

That's the whole point is to be on the shirt. How about this? No. No one knows it's there. Nobody knows it.

You can actually see how bling his neck is right now.

Yeah, you'reiced out on your neck. It's beautiful.

Oh, really? How about with no shirt?

Yeah, no shirt would be nice. Yeah, no shirt would be really nice. Oh, my God.

I'm just chilling on a beach.

Look at what you look like.

I'm chilling on a beach, dude. Are you married Bobby or no? No. Look at this. You're getting pussy. Bro, just look really good.

Just look at what you look like. Holy You're shit, dude.

Yeah, dude, I look like a future monk or something. You know what I mean? I don't look normal. Okay.

I'm going to do this one last time. Okay. If you don't like this piece, there are…

Then what? Just tell me the consequences. What I'm telling you is-I'm trying to play it for comedy, but I think you're being real, and I want to be I'm really honest with you. Thank you so much, but it's a little too much. What I bought you was a couple of grand of little knicks and knacks. $250,000 is so stupid.260.Yeah, 260. I know, but I'm just saying that… But How about this then? No. Yes, I'll keep it. I'm going to buy a vault, and I'll stick it in the vault.

Do you have a safe at your house or anything?

I do. But I'm going to get a better vault because I don't have anything that's worth this much. Can you tell them how hard it is his shining from across the room.

I mean, look at how beautiful.

Okay, it looks shiny. Is that what you're saying? Ben, are you telling me that... I swear to fucking God, dude, I don't want to threaten you because you look like you know some people. So I would have never start. He is the I know, but look at what he's doing right now. I don't know. What are you doing right now, dude? You're eyeing me down, dude. I appreciate it. But what I'm saying is that I will bring this to Hawaii and I'll wear it every fucking day. But I'm telling you right now, I feel like I'm going to get stairs in a weird way. Also, somebody is going to jack me. No, they're not. They're going to be like, God damn, that's 90 carat, whatever. Then I'm going to be like, Well, no, it's not. It's plastic. Then they're like, Yank it out. What's That's wrong, dude. I'm sorry. You're a very craftsman.

Well, I'm a little...

I know you're killing it. All right, so... Can I go? Or do I-No, no, no. I can go? Okay. I appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you so much, man.

I love you. I'll text you in a little bit. It's really nice to meet you. Nice meeting you. I'll text you in a minute.

Take care, John.

I didn't know you were older than me.

Wait, is this your iPhone? Is this yours? Yeah, it is. Okay, I'd rather have that.

No. God, it looks so good. All right. All right, guys. Take care. I'll talk to you in a little bit. All right, doc.

Thank you.

No, please don't take it off. No, I'm serious. Don't, don't, don't, don't. Oh my God. Bob, Bob, stop. Stop.

It really hurts my neck, though. I know.

You have to leave it on for the show.

It hurts my neck. I swear to God, it hurts my neck. It really hurts my neck, dude. You look very cool, Tito Bobby.

Told you. You look so dope. What's up?

Zokdok. Zokdok. Zokdok is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online.

Let me tell you something, Robert. Tell me everything. When I moved to my new neighborhood, I was like, It's too far to see my old doctor. I thought, How do I find a new doctor? How do you find a new doctor? I'll tell you how. On ZocDoc because all these docs have verified reviews from actual real patients. It's so easy. You don't have to ask around, hunt on the yellow pages.

I got a dermatologist from then. Did you really? You could also filter out specifically for the doctors you want to take your insurance or located near you and treat basically any condition you're searching for.

A typical wait time to see a doctor, book down ZocDoc is just between 24 to 72 hours. That's it. You can even score same-day appointments. Amazing. I've used ZocDoc, and it's fantastic. You can narrow it down to what you are really looking for instead searching the internet for someone that might match what you need.

Go to zocdoc. Com/badfriends and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.

That's zocdoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C. Com/badfriends. Zocdoc. Com/badfriends. Badflucey.

As someone that's a nicotine user, and I've been using nicotine since the beginning of time.

Well, because you are old.

Lucy is legit.

Lucy is legit.

We take it when we are doing shows.

I like Lucy, and I'll tell you what I like about Lucy Breakers. Look at this big one they sent us. It's got a lot of pouches in there. This has 8 milligrams, and it does contain nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. But if you're an adult and you're looking to throw something in your lip to give you a little boost of nicotine during the day. This is it. Lucy Breakers are unique nicotine pouches. You've seen a lot of nicotine pouches on the market these days, but this is great. There's a little breaker pouch, a flavor capsule right inside every single pouch. You break the capsule for a rush of flavor unmatched by other pouches that you've seen on the market. This is legit. Tuck one inside your lip and get a little rush of nicotine.

Give me one. Just give me one.

Look at all these.

Give me one.Wow..

There you go. Break it. We got the flavor rush. Mm-hmm.

Visit luci. Com/badfunds and use promo code Bad Friends to get 20% off your first order.

Lucy products are only for adults of legal age, and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine, and nicotine is an addictive chemical. Manscaped.

Hey, everybody. This episode is brought to you by Manscaped, the global leader in men's lifestyle and grooming.

Head over to manscaped. Com and join the over 10 million men worldwide who trust Manscaped by using code Bad Friends for 20% off plus free shipping. That's right. Every man knows the unbeatable feeling of a fresh barbershop shave. I love it. Now, what if I told you you no to wait weeks or even months between appointments to experience that smooth baby face shave?

Introducing what? Manscaped's newest innovation, The Chairman Pro.

Electric foil shaver, the game-changing tool that brings luxury, a professional shave right to your house.

Whether you're after that Daily silky smooth finish or prefer to maintain a rugged five o'clock shadow. The Chairman Pro electric foil shaver is your go-to for precision and style every time.

Get over to manscaped and check it out. You must. It's so smooth. The Chairman Pro, why does it stand out? It's a versatility Quality and precision, my friends, comes with two interchangeable SkinSafe bladeheads, which I use all over my body, including my...

Uh-oh.

If a clean shave isn't your style, that's okay. Just switch to the SkinSafe Stubble trimmer to keep your stubble looking sharp and polished, which I do to clean up my face when it It's nice and tight.

The Chairman Pro isn't just for daily shavers either. It's powerful enough to tackle up to a five-day growth, making it perfect, whether you're shaving every day or just tidying up after a few days.

Get the Chairman Pro today and experience a shave that is as smooth as you deserve. Get 20% off, plus free shipping with the code badfriends@manscaped. Com.

That's 20% off and free shipping with the code badfriends@manscaped. Com. Seriously, I hear your mind. I don't care if you and I are married.

When you walked in the door and you asked me and you were like, why are you-I don't care if we're married and we're lovers and we live for 40 years together.

You don't give somebody a $260,000 gift for no reason.

No, but there's a reason.

What is the reason? Then why would you give me this symbol? Because if a bad My friends, yeah. You know what I mean?

First of all, Ben was in the Korean culture because God has so much movement. I want God to move through Bobby. I said, What was the piece that you think I'm making? He said, I want to make a dope ass cross like old school a hip hop cross, and I said, That's so sick. He goes, Does he like the color blue? I said, He loves the color blue. He goes, I'm icing that up. I don't actually. No?

No. I feel like you don't know who I am. Color blue is not my favorite color.

No, I didn't say favorite, but you like the color blue.

I like it. It's like It's top 10, but it's not even the top 5. Okay, I'll take top 10. You know what I mean?

It's a six. Yeah.

Six is fine. Then it's also like, I don't know about the carrots. It's so shiny and stuff, but it's like, Are these real diamonds? There's no way there's real diamonds. What are they, dude? How much was this? $20? You know what? I know you so well. I know when you're frustrated, and I know when you get mad, and that's what you're doing right now. So what What I'm doing is, thanks, dude. Wow. Then here's another problem I have with this. Now we're going to one up each other. So what do I have to get you next? A Maserati?

That's more than a Maserati.

Yeah. That's my point, right? Here's a yacht. All of a sudden, I have no money. I'll have no money, dude. Then all of a sudden, we're broke, dude. We're like, there's two guys from trading spaces.

You know what we're like? What? You know what we're actually like? What are we like? Two bears, one slave.

That's right. That's right. Wow, that's crazy. Do It's a lot, dude.

Hey, buddy.

What? Dax Flames here?

Dax is here.Oh.

Man.holy shit. Thank you so much, Dax.Dax.

Are you...Sit down at least. Do you want to sit or do you got to go? What should I do? Do you have to go? What do you mean?

We asked you to sit down. What should I do?I'll.

Sit.hi, nice to meet you.Dax, are you... How did you know? Did you...

You got me a high A-H cheeseburger? I heard that you like burgers. Yeah. You got me a high-end one, probably one of the best ones in LA. That's classic.

Okay, check this out. Ask Dax. Dax, do you like his chain? I got him a chain for his birthday.

Yeah.

Do you do like it or no? I like it.

Yeah. Would you wear it?

I wouldn't wear it.

Wait a minute. No, wait. Stop. Thank you, Dax. Are you shirtless just for your birthday? No. Yes.

He's trying to emphasize the chain.

Yeah, I want you to put this shirt back on.

No, please off. Please. It looks so much better off.

Okay. Dax, this was Andrew's present. Okay, nice. Now, can I just say something, bud? Sure. It hurts my neck so bad. Oh, yeah.

Maybe with the shirt on, it'll be a little cushiony.

No, I'm just seeing the weight of it is pushing my fucking neck forward. It hurts. It's very heavy.

Just sit straight. Sit straight up. There you go.

Okay. But so, Dax, if you got this, you wouldn't wear it?

I would wear it in front of the person who gave it to me.

Right. Then what would you do when you got home with Maybe just send them a text, Thank you, and after wearing it. Okay, then what would you do with it, though?

Give it to someone who would wear it.

This is $260,000. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Then would you give it to a friend or would you put it in a safe?

I would sell it and just use the money on something you like.

Oh, that's so good.

I'd prefer you to not do that.

Yeah, I'm going to do that. It's What do you care?

That will end our friendship if you do that.

You bought me a beautiful two-in-a-a-week- And that's what it's supposed to be.

You don't sell it and then take the money and do something else with it. Yeah, I want to buy other things with it, like something that I need, like a car.

You know that my car got totaled.

You have the money for that. They gave you money for the insurance.

I know, but maybe you could have got me a car instead of this thing, that's something I'm not going to fucking wear. Think about what you're doing, dude. Why would you ask Ben Baller, a fucking Chinese Mafia, to come over here with this fucking glare and then Why does he do this to me?

He's not Chinese.

Whatever he is, what is he? He's Korean. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

He's so hot. Rudy what? He's so hot. Yeah, he is pretty hot. You think he's a hot guy? Yeah. You better watch your mouth. Watch your fucking mouth. He's 50 something. Yeah. He looks good for 50 something, huh? He's so cool.

Okay, so he's 50 something. Then what are you going to say about…

You guys are… Yeah.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm getting stepped on today.

I thought it was a good-You guys are What?

Like, okay. And Ben is like, high up. So Ben's a hot guy and we're losers. Not losers, just okay. Ugly? No.

Okay.

Okay Or O-K-A-Y? O-k or okay, A, Y? Okay or okay, A, Y? Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Ben is like, Okay, okay, okay. He's, Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, I get it.

Dax, thanks for stopping by. When did you get the cheeseburger? Just a moment ago. Really? Can I open it? May I? Yeah, go ahead.

When did you get the cheeseburger? Yesterday. What do you think? He got it today.

I don't know how some of you guys work. Sometimes you guys will get me a cheeseburger from yesterday.

Never have we ever.

Never done. Yeah, but from hours ago, whatever. You've done that before, hours ago.

It's been delivered 15 minutes before you're here. But he went and got this for your birthday.

Really, thank you so much.

He also wanted to sing you Happy birthday while you took a bite, too. Will you take a bite and you sing, Dex? You said you had a special version of Happy birthday for him. Yeah. Go ahead while you take a bite.

Wait until I grab it. I'm sorry. Can I just said something? Really appreciate it. Pretty cold, though, huh?

Is it cold?

Yeah. Honestly, when did you get this?

Maybe 35 minutes ago.

Okay, that's not bad.

That's not bad. All right, here we go. Go ahead. And go. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, dear Bobby. Happy birthday to you. There's a little a card for you as well. That was the rendition?

That was your own rendition. Happy Bobby Day to you.

Happy Bobby Day to you.

I'm going to change the words and two a little bit.

All right, let's not eat. Let's read the card. Let's read the card.

I'll eat this later, Ben. Thank you so much.

Ben? You still got Ben on your mind.

Yeah, Ben's still on my mind. Sorry. Ben Baller is still on my mind.

Do you know Ben Baller? Did you meet him on the way out? Mm-mm. He's incredible. Rudy thinks he's really hot. He's a very handsome, cool dude. He's the man. He looks handsome. He is. He very much is. Oh, a card. What does it say?

Can I see it? No, you may not.

Well, let him read it.

I memorized it. That's how short it was.

What did it say?

Keep up the good work.

Well, that's true, isn't it?

No, there's no... That's nothing.

Well, you know who gave it to you? He just gave it to you.

It doesn't matter. 20 years from now, because I keep these in a fucking box.

Maybe he'll sign it for you.

For memories, I'll... No, fuck off. Hey, what? No, I'm sorry. This is bullshit. My neck hurts.

So what? Grow up.

All right. You're 53. Fuck you, man. Fuck you. I'm sorry. Is that me? Yeah. I'm reading the wrong one. All right, sorry, McDonald.Thank you so much, Dax.For.

Sure.dax, thank you, man. This was great.Yeah, thank you. I appreciate him.Thank you, Dax.Thank you so much, Dax.We'll see you later, buddy.For.

Sure.thanks a lot, man.Bye, dude.Thanks, Dax. Very nice.

What a sweet, sweet guy. What a sweet guy.Honestly.Honestly. Rudy has something to tell us. What? You fucking know. Don't play dumb. Don't you dare play dumb with me.

That's so good.

Tito Bobby.

I look good or no?

Hold on. I'm going to try to see if I can get it.

No, that's going to hurt, dude. No, it won't. It's sticky.

Hold on. Can I have this? No. Why do you want to take that home? Because I need to shave.

That's for a man.

That's for men. It's better because-Is that woman-scaped? I know, but men's ravers, is it?

Raver?

Razers, is usually better for women. Why?

I don't know.

They make it better for men. Why would they make it better for us than for you guys? It doesn't make any sense.

I don't know. Isn't it the same? Because sometimes I'll go out on the road, I'll use a woman's shaver on my toochee.

You do it on your toot-toot?

Yeah.

They say men's razers are better. It's more sensitive for sure.

I have a little gripe. Can I tell a little gripe or not? Please. I thank you so much for your happy birthday messages on Instagram. But next time you do that, you don't have to throw in a fun fact.

Give us some fun facts.

Today I get, Happy birthday, buddy. By the way, Pat Morita, you're older now than Pat Morita was when he did Karate Kids.

Wow. When he was Wow.

You are right. It's insane. Then guess what? Two hours later, I bought a bonzai tree.

Wow. Pat Morita during Karate Kid.

How old was Pat Morita when he did Karate Kid? 52.

Yeah. You're 53.

I'm 53.

You're older than Mr. Miyagi.

Dude, I'm older than Mr. Miyagi in that movie.Wow. Isn't that crazy?

That's beautiful.

No, I don't like that.

I love that because look at how much younger you look than he looks. That's a compliment. Oh, no, he looked the same. Never mind, he looked the same. Pretty Let me hear you say wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off.

No.how do you say it?Really go for it. Wax on, wax off.

Kind of play it out.

Play it out? I don't even know what you mean. Your notes? Play it out. Oh, play it out. Mm-hmm.

Bring up the wax on, wax off scene, please. Yeah. Bring up the wax on, wax off scene, please. Okay.

I think I'm doing it way too much, I think. I think his is more understand it.

It was more subtle. His is more subtle, his is more low. Yeah. Here it is.

Have you seen this movie? You goddamn slave is what I'm doing, man. Oh, my God. You have to watch this movie.

What are you doing? What are you doing, dude? That was literally-So?

Very good. Karate Kid, dude. That's how you learn. Met by Emmanuel Leiber.

I feel like the Jackie Chan version is better. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

What do you mean? What do you mean? What do we mean? What do you mean?

What the fuck What do you mean? That movie is so good. No. Oh, my God, dude.

Have you seen it? Have you seen it? I've seen it. It's with Jaden Smith? Yeah. No. No. Ralph Machio, my guy.

Ralph Machio, guy.

I even cried at the end. You would.

Oh, why? Because there's black people in it? Because he won. What?

He won.

Yeah, so did fucking Ralph Machio.

No, this is better. No, you haven't even seen Karate Kid to say that this is better. Did Jaden do The Crane?

Yeah.

He did. It did a great Oh, really? It's actually really impressive. Honestly, it's actually a really good movie. It is. But don't do that to Pat Morita. Not on his birthday. Not on his birthday.

Yeah, but I never saw this version.

Did you? Yeah, it's pretty good.

It is pretty good? Yeah, it's very good. All right. It's actually very good. It is, okay.

Well, Jackie's incredible. Yeah. Jaden is phenomenal. He's the child of an ego-maniacal sociopathic maniac. So he, of course, is going to be a good actor. Yeah. It's like, What are we talking about? The guy's incredible. Wow. The whole family, he It's talent. All these kids have talent.

All of them. That's amazing. What does it say on the hill? Cheap?

Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap. Let me see. Zoom in. Oh, it's written in this way to Dog Hill?

Oh, Is this in Springfield? Wow.

It's interesting. I think you should watch it. You'd like it.

Do you think Koreans got offended by this Haitian stuff? We're the one that eat the dog. Do you think or not?

That is our thing.

That's our thing. That's us. Yeah.

Don't take credit for a dog.

I'm going to watch that movie then.

You should. Okay. It's actually really good. What do you have to announce to Tito on his birthday? You told me before the show you wanted to ask. Tell him something. Tell them what it is. Go ahead. That I just wanted to say that I appreciate you. I see you as a father figure. I think you've You've always been there for me. You're very supportive. I think, yeah, you're just…

I love you. I mean, coming from her.

That's huge.

That's the best.

I believe it. She said, I love you.

Go ahead, Carlos.

Me? You want me to say something? Way to go, Macone. Yeah. Go ahead and try it again. Yeah.

I don't think you know what you're doing. What's happening? He's jerking it.

It's the way the arrow goes. I think it's a lost problem.

Dude, that's your guy.

That's my guy. That's your guy. That's my guy. Yeah, wow. That was so sad. Here's the best part. Here's the best part. You fucker. Well, Carlos says it because Carlos has to clean that up. That's the best part. Yeah. Happy birthday.

Thank you, man. Anyone else have a speech? I have one. Okay, go ahead. Bob, I've met you 14 years ago, and you're one of the only people in Hollywood or in my life that's ever just been consistent.Thank you.I just want to say thank you.Thank you, bud. I've always looked up to you.Thank you, bud.You're the man.Thank you, bud. Cohn?

You got me through some of the toughest times in my life.

Back when I was FedEx driving during the pandemic, didn't know where I was going. This is before I met you. Yeah, but parasocially.

He's saying he was a fan.Parasocially.Okay.Been a fan.

Then through you, through Tiger Belly, I heard about Brandon Dermer, got a lot of my first jobs through there. Then also, you were nice enough to talk to me that one night at the Comedy Store, and I was so happy that you did.

I walked three miles home to my apartment in Central Hollywood because I couldn't believe that you talked to me and you were I was so nervous.

I was stumbling over my words and you said, Slow down.

It's okay. Let's take a seat.

We sat down and we talked. I remember that.

You gave me your number and I couldn't believe.

I was calling. The front patio. I was calling everyone I knew.Front patio.Yeah.Yeah, I remember.Unbelievable. Then I always look back.

That's good. That's a lot. You're doing too much. That's enough.Just stop.That's enough.

God. God damn, dude. I love you.

All right, Pete.

Pete.

Bobby, I've been a fan of yours since that time. That's good. Let's get back on the show. Let's just continue the show.

That's not real. But anyway, let's go back to the show. Jules? He already did it.

What's going on in your life?

Yeah, what's going on?

Well, in class, we made fruit flies drunk, and I learned that they don't have any lungs, so they just breathe through their skin. We're trying to get you citizenship? We're paying for a citizenship? This is insane.

You're getting fucking food for a alcohol. Drunk? Drunk.

Wait, why? To find out what? Just to find out if... I don't know. They're doing research, and we're doing that procedure for the flies. She's already becoming a nurse.

Look at that. Start with the insects.

Research has suggested alcohol stimulates the fly's brains as a reward in a similar way to sexual conquest. The work points to a brain chemical called neuropeptide F, which seems to be regulated by the fly's behavior. Something with a brain. Yeah, I just read it. Yeah.

Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Just read it. You're in school. I thought you were done. Didn't we think you were done? No. Next year. Next year, you're done.

I rewatched some of the Paranormal Activity movies.

Oh, wow. Do you want to creep yourself out a little bit? Do you see? No.

You've never seen Paranormal Activity?

I have, but I haven't seen anything recently.

No, the first two. Sure. The original ones. Yeah.

Have you seen it? They're like 20 years old.

Oh, yeah, for 2009. Yeah.

I'm just saying that they're good. No, they're very good. You're talking about like it's in the theater now.

I know, but what I'm saying is that that's a horror movie where when you do watch it alone and you actually go to bed, any creep, anything, it gets you.

It gets you more than the modern shit doesn't get me anymore.

No, that Paranormal Activity got me.

Got me good.

Have you seen it? No. It's incredible. It's so good. Yeah. But my question is, it's an old movie, but that guy, Micah, do you remember Micah in it?

Oh, no. What do you want?

No, what do you want? I just have a question.

Yeah, I'm waiting. That guy.

So he's the husband in the first movie. Yeah. He leave. I leave. Why you leave?

You can't. No, you leave. You can't.

Yeah, dude.

You don't break up things that are so good. Look at this. You stay.

If you and I-even when it's hard. If you and I were camping, and there was a ghosty presence in the forest.

Yeah.

Okay. I go, You know what? I'll do an experiment. You're telling me, and you're fucking telling me, Oh, yes, ever since I was a baby, a ghost has been fucking haunting me. Then I go, I have some baking powder out of nowhere. Sure. Just have some of my trunk.

Just in case.

I did an experiment. At 3:00 in the morning, I put baking powder outside our fucking tent. The next morning, if we saw ghostly footsteps on that baking powder, you'll never see it. No more bad friends. That's it. Yeah, it's just friend.

Just friend? By yourself. Old friend.

Yeah, because there's no way.

Anyway, Is this real? Yes. Yeah, it's real.

What do you mean?

I don't know anything about it. It's a fucking movie.

You never saw Paraliminal Activity? No. You guys, this stuff has been a game changer for me. This is Huel. It's ready to drink meal. It's like a complete meal in a bottle. It's so convenient. Sometimes when you wake up and go, Oh, my God, they get late for me. I'm late. I'm always late, right? I grab this out of the fridge, I put it in the car, I drink it while I'm going to this thing. This is a miracle.

Well, if you're on the run, like most of us are these days, you're late for a meeting or something like that, and you have no time to go sit down and have a traditional breakfast, I got to tell you, very good. Very, very good. Yeah. Support for Bad Friends is brought to you by Huel, the world's number one complete nutrition brand with over 400 million meals sold worldwide. You heard it right, 400 million. Huel is trusted by millions of people looking to fuel their days with convenient, complete nutrition. Try for yourself with our exclusive offer. 15% off for the code badfriends@huil. Com. Fuel your best with Huel today.

I have to also say, people, that this tastes so good. It actually tastes like a shake, like a real shake, and they come in delicious chocolate or vanilla. Bonus Is it they're low in sugar?

That's the best part. You want to keep that sugar out of your body. It's got 35 grams of protein, 27 vitamins and minerals, all in one handy bottle. Tell them how they get it, man.

Oh, my God. This is how you get it. Take the leap and join the community of Hooligans with its exclusive offer of 15% off with the code badfriends@hul.

Com. That's 15% off with the code badfriends@hul. Com. Unlock a healthier, easier way to eat with Hul. Nutritionally complete meals in minutes so you can focus on what really matters.

Blue Chew. You guys, I'm a 53-year-old man now. Yes, you are. And I'm sexually active. Yes, you are. And guess what? What? I use Blue Chew, and guess what? It works.

That's right. Does it work? You better believe it does. An online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost in a chewable in full form.

The process is simple. Sign up to bluechew. Com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days.

Pretty incredible. You don't think you need it? Well, why not try for a month and see? You and your partner are going to love it. Now, Bob's had a little bit of trouble sometimes getting all the way there. Not anymore. Not anymore with Bluechew, baby. Bluechew's got it, and we got a special deal for our listeners. Try Bluechew for free when you use our promo code, Bad Friends at Checkout, and just pay $5 for shipping.

That's bluechew. Com, promo code, Bad Friends to receive your first month free.

Visit bluechew. Com for more details and important safety information. Our friends at Bluechew have something exciting coming soon. It's an exclusive, very limited edition merch collab with none other than Anti-Social Social Club.

They gave me a sneak peek, and these designs go hard.

They go hard. They're going on sale October 12th, and they'll sell out. So mark your calendars, go to antisocialsocialclub. Com, and be the first to snag one of these incredible designs.

You've never seen Paralormal Activity?

No. How not?

Why not, dude? It's such a good movie. It's such a fucking good movie, dude.

I watched the David Chase documentary about Sopranos. Oh my God.

Did you see Chim Crazy?

We watched it together on the plane. What are you talking about? We were both watching it.

Do you see Chim Crazy?

I want to see that. I haven't I love it. Oh, my God. It's Chimp Crazy is so good.Donelle.Donelle Rawlings.Wow, Dee.Wow. Good to see you.What's up? What's up, Dee?

What's up?

You don't want to wish Bob a happy birthday? What's up, Dee?

Before we even start, I just want to say, Diddy is not my boy.

Yes, he is. I just got to be clear.

Kim Jong is not your boy. Yeah. Diddy, Sean Puppy Kong, Sean John is not my boy.

Have you met him before?

Yes, I have met him before.

Pictures of Don L. Rawlings and P. Diddy together. No, wait. They're on the internet.

Let's see what's on the internet.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh, spaghetti. Someone's been to the island. Whoa.

Where?

There's got to be photos of them together. Boys. Yeah.

Okay, just tweet.

Zoom in. Oh, wow. There's the dogs.

Just tweet. Okay, first of all-Okay, what do we got here?

Photoshop.

That's not Photoshop. That's 100% you.

That's you.

That's not me.

That's you partying in St. Bart's with Diddy.

Okay. It wasn't Diddy. Diddy was the freak. I was with Sean Combs.

Oh, sorry about that. I was with Sean Combs.

That was a very good night. I had to recognize half the people.

There's Dave.

Interesting that this would take place. There's Sean. Also on an island.

Is that Tiger Woods?

No, that's not Tiger Woods.

That's so funny to say that.

Is that Magic Johnson?

Yep, that's Magic Johnson. To the left.

No, it's not Magic Johnson. The fact that you all think everybody looks like Magic Johnson.

First of all, that's Magic Johnson on the left.

No, it's not.

It's all Chris Spencer. That's what it looks like.

French Montana.

Serena Williams.

No, it's not Serena Williams?

No. Okay, the kid from Black-ish. Oh, God. Hold on, let me guess.

Honestly, tell us who that is.

No, let us guess.

Okay.

Dave Chappelle, Sean Combs. Russell Simmons. Let me guess. Okay. That guy on the far left is Bo Didley. Above Bo is...

The Invisible Man from the book.

That's Invisible Man. Right next to him is Whitey Ford.

Yeah.

Next to me is a bottle of baby oil. One of the 1,000, one of the 10,000 bottles of baby oil.

Do you remember that night, though?

Big time. Yeah, I fated. I was supposed to be in fated. But the thing about it was I just did a podcast a while ago, and I said, it's hard. When someone you know gets in trouble, you have mixed feelings because you have a relationship different from what the media. Sure. I know it's crazy as it may sound. This is something that he does during the Christmas break, and it's a very family-oriented retreat. I know it may sound crazy, but that day was a great day. It was filled with candy canes and popcorn and all the festive things that people like for the holidays.

Candy canes, huh?

But I will say-Who likes candy canes?

I don't like candy canes.

I left that party at a reasonable hour. I tell people all the time, Puffy throws the best party, but you got to leave before 4:00 in the morning. 4:00. It's going to go crazy.

Can I say something?

Do you have the same disease Gary Goldman had? I don't have a disease. Okay. All right.

Denel, take this the right way. I have never in my life seen a black person with a candy cane. I mean that in my entire life. Me either. I bet you can't even Google black guy with candy cane.

I'll tell you this. There's two candy canes that black people fuck with.

Oh, shit. The colors, all the colors.

All the color, and we fuck with them.

But the peppermint-There's a candy can right there, dude. I've seen that. Who's that? What? Who is that? I've never had a candy cane. That's Denel's uncle.

Dee, is this you? No, that's not him. That was in your Instagram slides. No, it wasn't.

What conspiracy is this? When he comes in, we're just going to shit on the fact that we all connected a week ago. It was a love fest, and we had a good time. We hugged up each other and everything. Now it's back to like, okay.

Okay, D, we're done.

What did we learn about each other last week?

We learned that I'm consistent with not liking you. I thought that was just a reserve for Hollywood, but it works in the Midwest. I know. Anywhere that you show up, you are an asshole. The funny thing about it is people say, I don't know if this is white culture or whatever, and I'm not going to make everything race, but it's just-He said rice.

I know he said-Not going to make everything rice.

Sorry, but I'm not a fan of yours.

I'll tell you what I'm not a fan of.What's that?If I may. Your feet.

You don't know anything about my feet.

Yeah, I saw your feet.

You don't know about my feet.

That whole day, you know what I call him? The Black Arrow.

Because his foot is like an arrow. I got something for you since you're talking about-Sox.

You got socks. Because I found out that...

Here you go. What color do you want? You only have options now. You don't have any option. But speaking of feet, this is what I do to protect the innocence of my feet. What did you learn about my feet?

They're shaped in an unusual way. They're like an arrow.

Very girthy and long. No, No, no, no. Pointy and skinny. I know you're not familiar with that. I'm just saying, We're going to do it, Bobby. Let's just do it.

We're not doing what, dude? All right. You come into my podcast, I'm not doing anything. I'm like, Welcome. You're talking about my dick, dog?

No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking the lack of. That's what I'm saying. People can speculate whatever they want. You go on record.

It's his birthday. Let's be nice. It's my birthday, dog.

Happy birthday.

Thanks, man. I got him a nice gift. Do you like the gift I gave him?

What?

I A chain.

Did you bring a chain in just because I was going to be here?

Insane to think that.

That's nice. I knew that he was going to have that twisted fucking fountain thinking.

No, I thought he was like this, Don Ila thing. This is real hip and cool. Wait a minute. Are you dressed like a doctor What is it?

What are you-Let's not talk about clothing over here. Okay, pal. Let's not talk about it.

No, you got a doctor. That's a doctor's dress.

Yeah, and look at how she's dressed. It's for his birthday. We're playing his famous roles in movies. She's Chilly Chille right there, and I'm in his favorite all-time movie, The banger that is drugstore June.

Okay, see, I didn't know that. This is some history I didn't know.

I thank you for bringing me-But I bought him this chain from Ben Baller.

I had to-260 grand, dog.

That's friendship right there. How long before you sell it?

See, that's what I said.

Now, let me ask you something. Is it something that you would do?

What? Give somebody a chain?

No, sell it. If somebody gave you a $260,000 chain, would you sell it?

It all depends who gifted me. Me. If he gave it, I would definitely sell it. I don't want any memories.

I don't want it.

He slammed you, too, dude. No, I don't want it.

He comes in here with fucking-This is what he does to me all the time. What the fuck is your problem? You asked me last week, I go, Yo, man, I'm going to be in town, doc. Can I do your podcast? I go, Yeah, you're welcome. You come here and you fucking do this?

Horrible impression to me. What? That was a horrible impression. Yo, dog, why you had to do all that stuff? Now, if I would have been like this, and you was like, Don't help. You can't go do that special. Then that wasn't wrong. You can't do that special. I didn't do that. When I saw you, I did roll up to you playing kung fu fighting.

You did? In his car, yeah.

I thought that was good.

I saw your toes, didn't like them.They.

Got man toes.I.

Got man toes. No, honestly, they're not.

I don't do pedicures.Yeah..

Then we did the show. Yeah. Very funny. Then what did I do to you on stage? Do you remember? I don't. Yeah. I tackled you a little bit.

I don't remember that.

What did he show you? He showed you something on stage.

No, he didn't.

Yes, he did. Yeah, he did. What? You commented about it the whole time.

The inside of my butt hole.

You know what? Damn, you know how something sounds like it's a good idea?

You start up, you like this, Man, I would love to.

I fucked up.

You scared a little too long, dog.

No, I didn't.

What I did tell you-He went like this.

Yeah, you did that.

I didn't tell you. I said that what I did tell you was that Black people are one of the racists to still hold tight to being homophobic. With that said, you crossed the road to me every time you try to get close to me. I told you to get the fuck away from me. But you're used to people being aggressive towards you, being negative. So that wasn't anything. That just made you more excited about being an asshole. But this podcast is not going to be about my disdain toward you.

Good. What do you mean, man?

It's going to be about a bond.

Yeah, good.

There was a fucking bond. I'll tell you another thing, Chachi. Okay? Yeah, Oh, go ahead. I'm just trying to make it. This is the truth. You want to hear the truth? Yeah. I got the truth, dog.

Give it to me, baby. Okay.

You want me to preach?

Preach.

What's the truth?

The truth is this. Player. Okay. You and I got booked on... Let me talk, dog. You and I got booked on a TV show, right? We did. Burkrise to the Cabin.

You weren't the first choice.

Exactly.

Yeah, let me finish.

Can I tell the story?

Default.

Okay, go ahead. Can I tell you the story? You thought you were going to do the show with Bill Burr. You woke up that morning, what? Excited. About Bill Burr. About Bill Burr, right?

No, not excited about Bill Burr. Excited about the history. What I was told about this show is, this is going to be a show When you go out in the woods and you bond with your boys, you have great conversations. I didn't know it was going to be a show that invited a person like Bobby or would be excited about Bobby getting there. When I was there, because I had to talk to Bill in a while, and this was what my response I looked at the trailers, and I was like, Where's Bill's trailer? Then I looked and he didn't have a plaque. It was a piece of tape. They just wrote his name on it. That's when you know the person wasn't supposed to be there. I saw it and I said, Bobby, and I said, Fuck. I was like, He's going to be naked.

I knew it.

No, it wasn't. Not one time.

It took away from what the show I thought it was. I was like, It's one of those shows. Sure enough, as soon as I walk in the joint, this naked ass-No, I'm so offended by what-Bring up the picture of Bobby naked in the cabin on Netflix.

I'm so offended that you would even say something like this.

Are you? Yeah, I'm so offended. You were naked on the cabin on Netflix.

No, no, no, no, no, A bear skin rug. Not bear skin. What are you guys doing?

I mean, bring up the photo. There's a photo of it. You're butt naked right there with Bert.

This is what I walked into.

This is what Bill- No, I'm sorry. Can I... May I say something? He got naked first. What are you doing? Guys. We're not watching the show. We hung out with you guys. It's a show you made. Oh, yeah. There we go.

Ten seconds on set.

Ten seconds, you got there. I asked politely.

Did you hear me ask politely? Thank you. Street thread, gone. Yeah. Is that not a joyous occasion?

For you, it was.

Yeah. Okay, did you not think that we did good together? Good chemistry.

I think that there was a part of the show that we had good chemistry. Other than that, I just wanted to get the fuck out of it.

Can I just say this? I promise you this. I guarantee you. Even you did that with Bill, ours still would have done better numbers.

We wasn't doing that at all. You did that. You're comfortable.

You want to do it. I sense that you want to do it. You want to do it. You fucking want to do it, and you're too afraid to say yes. I'm saying you're going to get there.

You are comfortable.

You are comfortable.

I agree with you. You're comfortable exposed to the body looks like an old man and a baby in the same person.

Here it goes.

How are you shaped?

Here it goes.

How are you shaking like an old man?

Don't do this. It's my birthday, dog.

Peace. All right.

Honestly, dude. Yo, honestly, dude.

Give me a hug. Give him a hug, John L.

You smell good. They're like Cuban cigars. All right.

No.

Thank you, Donnell.

Thank you, Donnell.

Very good. Very good.

So, Donnell... I got to take this off. It's so heavy.

Take it off.

Be careful taking it off.

I can't believe I'm here. Ben Baller was in here before you got here. He just gave me that.

Then you just give to him, so it wasn't like a gift.

I didn't give him that shit. That's $260,000. For real.

It's yours. You didn't give it to him.

I didn't give him shit. No, that's going right back to Ben. That shit was all fake. Oh, yeah? Oh, fuck, yeah.

I thought that was my big gift, and it wasn't.

He thought that was his big gift, and we 100% had.

I was-Okay, let's go back to real.

You do have a real gift coming.

No, honestly, though, dude.

Hold on. Put your shit on. Go ahead.

I want to be real with you. My bad. I'm sorry. I'm never going to do that again. You will. I won't.

You will. I won't. It's in your nature.

I've never done anything like that to you, ever. I've only shown you love and respect since I've Secondly, dude, I literally…

You're one of the few guys, I think, in the country where I just wouldn't want to follow on stage.

Yeah, thank you. That's why we made him close the show that we did.

You're a fucking destroyer, dude. You really are.

You are equally.

Let me just get this off my chest. All right. I honestly only feel pure respect and love for you, dude. I think I certain things, like a sexuality or energy. But I know, but I'm probably reading it wrong. I'm probably reading it wrong.

I think I'm reading it wrong.

I'm not even sure if I could do it. I'm sorry.

I do see that with you two.

I think I'm reading it wrong. I don't know. It might not be. You know what I mean? I don't know. Because I'm usually right. I feel A sexual tension, but I'll ignore it. I'll bypass it. That's what I'm excited. Welcome to the show. Honestly, we will never do that again. We'll never hug.

It wasn't a we, it was a you. I didn't participate with that. It wasn't a we, it was a That's what he's saying.

It wasn't reciprocated. He was bummed about it. That's what he's saying.

Thank you so much.

It's his birthday. It's a two-way street.

Yeah, it is a two-way street friendship.

What can you do for your birthday that you haven't already did to embarrass yourself and ruin your career?

How do you celebrate? What do you mean? How do you celebrate?

You've done everything despicable, everything that you cancel.

But I've done some high- What do you celebrate during your birthday?

He's never fucked a guy. Yeah, that's true.

Thank you so much.

Well, you didn't have to fuck a guy, but if you got fucked by the guy, that's the same. Fuck a guy. It's in the same boat. You know what I'm saying?

No, I didn't fuck him.

He just fucked me. I'm still gangster. Give me my charm back. Please give him that charm back. That's the only thing that's going to keep them together.

Anyway, what is it that scares you about flesh andFlesh. Yeah.

My flesh is what's scary.

Here's another interesting thing you did last week because Andrew and I were in Springfield, Ohio, Yellow Springs. You were Yellow Springs? In your neighborhood hanging out all night. Don Allen Day.Right?

Yeah.

Late at night, I swear to God, and if you don't admit this, I'm going to lose my fucking mind.

All right? You're going to do what?I'll.

Lose my mind.Again. Yes. Okay. I just want to be clear. You turned to me, right? We're close to... No. Just stop. Stop. Fucking stop.

Okay.

Sorry. I got a lot...

That's okay. It's your birthday. It's my birthday, yeah. You go nuts.

Thank you, guys.I'm your birthday. All right. With your little beautiful eyes, you looked at me and you go, Yeah, dog.

I would say you have beautiful eyes, but I can't see them. I mean, if we're going to do it, let's just do it, Bobby. All right? Wake up.

Wake up. There he is.

Still sleep. You look at me Bobby. And you go, Yo, man, come to my house. Let me cook you something.

No.

Yeah, you did.

Yeah, you did. That's not what I said. This is what you said, Bobby.

Yeah, and I said, I don't have my lube. Shut the fuck up. I don't have my lube on me, friend. Shut the fuck How about your birthday.

Shut the fuck up on your birthday.

How about that? That's the gayest thing I've ever heard. No. What I said was- 3:00 in the morning, Come to my house. Let me make you some fish, dog. Did you not say that? Did you not say that? Did you not?

I'm going to let you do you. I'm going to let you Calm down. I'm going to respect the fact it's your birthday. This is what I said.

Okay, sorry. Too much?

No, this is what I said.

Keep going.

You said, Donia, where is it a good place to get some food in Yellow Spring? I said, At my house. This is what you said. You said, I don't want your fried chicken, your collard greens, or your chitlins.

He did not say that. Yes, he did. He said, No, he said, I don't want pig's feet. He said, I don't want pig's feet. That's right, pig's feet. Yeah. He said, I don't want pig's feet. I don't want grits or okra. That's all he said. Or jammy jam. He doesn't want jammy jam.

I don't like your jammy jam.

Then after he started talking to people in town, he realized that there's one thing, it's a cool town, but it's not good. It's not known for its food space. What I was doing was I wanted to offer that to you because I like cooking for people when they come in.

It was 3:00 in the morning. I don't see it that way. You said, Come over right now to my house now. I go, Wow, it's 3:00 in the morning. In my mind, let me cook you up something. Now, to me, from where I'm from, dog, right? You would have jumped on it.

You were from where you're from. You would have jumped on it. Bro, that's what... Yo, where you from? If I would have invited you over. It is.

Where are you from?

Exactly. That's where it's from. That's where it is. That's where it is.

From where you're from, you would have jumped on the opportunity to come to my crib.

I would have loved to see where you live. Yeah. I wish we went over to your house. We weren't there long enough.

Yeah, but I invited you. I know.

We were there for- 3:00 in the morning, it's a little weird. We were there for 17 hours.

I couldn't get an hour of your time?

David had most of our time.

Yeah. Okay.

That's not my fault. Right.

I tried.

I know you did.

I thought it was a good experience, and I was excited to see you guys hanging out. It was a good time, I thought.

That was a really fun week. I'll be honest with you. What did I do in the car?

Bob started crying. We were leaving the shack. Shed? The shack. The shack. We were leaving the shack where we were all hanging out with our beloved Dave Chapelle and beloved. What the fuck is that? That's good. We do beloved him. We love him. I love him. We were riding home after hanging with you and the family and Taleb Qwalee, and then he turned to to me and he said, You know what? And he just started bawling. He just started crying in the car. My hand to God. My hand to God. He was like, I'm just getting really emotional. This was such a wonderful day, a great moment in my life. It was really nice. He goes, I really wish I really wish that. I really wish Donnell wasn't there.

Yeah.

I could agree with that.

He started crying and I said, I wish Danelle wasn't there either. It hit me in my chest and I said, Why did Danelle show up?

I know. Because honestly, when I saw your fucking crooked feet, I saw your turkey turkey feet.

It was like,.

Like that, right? I'm freaking out like that, sticking out like that. I go, I wish I hadn't seen that. Because it gave me PTSD, and I have to do fucking trauma work on it because those are fucking nasty.

I know. When I Yeah, yeah.

He did- I don't want to say this. When we did Berk Reister's show, I heard about the stereotypes of Asian little Chinese-looking motherfuckers, right?

I would have thought that I would be in a situation where I saw what was close to an Asian penis. Then I said to myself, and I didn't think about it, and I said, This is why they like anal so much.

It's the only place that it fits, and you know it's there. You know what? He did really cry in the car. I didn't really cry in the car. For real, he did. We got emotional. It was such a beautiful day with you. We had a lovely, lovely day. We had a beautiful day. Then you went on stage and you killed.

I didn't think this was I'm so sorry.

Hold on.

I'm sorry. Give him a minute.

We'll give you a minute, dude.

Give you a minute.

What's going on? We got a little birthday cake. Why now?

He said, There's no better time than now.

Okay.

Wow. Donnell, look at this. This is from Donnell.

I love Hogwarts.

No, say thank you. He did this.

Did you really make this?

You brought this? If a penis pops out, no, I didn't. I know what you're wishing for before you even open that box.

Is this a trick? No, it's not a trick, bud. Wow. That's not one of the greatest cakes you've ever seen?

I'm listening to the song.

Oh, sorry.

Where's the cake?

Right here.

Oh, it's the cake inside. Yeah. Is that Korean love music?

No, no, no.

Do it again.

One more time, Donal.

Money up so, kada choge. Money iso, hap shida.

Money up so, you have no money. If you don't have any money, what's the second one?

If you don't, yobe sell, yobe sell, yobe sell, edywa. Sir, sir, sir. Come here. Edywa. Come here? Yobe sell, yobe sell, yobe sell, edywa. Money up so, kada choge. If you don't have no money, get the funny. Money, upso, hap, shida. If you got money, you can fuck.

This is really fancy. Who bought me this?Donele did.

Really? Dinele, you really bought me this? Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, there's no way you're going to go buy it.

The reason I did, I wouldn't have done it because it's making you happy, and I would have never wanted to.

I know, but you didn't even know it was my birthday today, huh? I didn't. Yeah.

I would have loved to stand you up on your birthday.

Why are you so I mean, dude?

You bring the worst out of me.

I know, but you know you love me. Be honest. I know the fans are listening, right? And they're going, What's going on here? The whole episode has been chaos. It's chaos, right? But let's be honest with our fans. Yeah. Honestly. I'll be honest. I like fucking with you. When I see you, we have a fucking around, we have fun. Why don't you ever say, When you have these emotional joints, say, Donnell, look me in my eyes.

Why you never say that?

It's an eye joke. That's an It's another eye joke.

Yeah, it's coming.

I promise you, it's not an eye joke. Donnell.

I don't know what you're talking about. Can you just open?

What? How do you all do this?

Don out, seriously. I love you so much. You know what? I will say that- We're good friends. Why do you have a hammer? Why do you have a hammer, dude? Just take a scissor and cut the tape out of there.

Salam hamnida, I love you.

Yeah, all right, good. I don't. I do. No, I do.

No, I do.

I do respect You only respect me. I said I do. If you found out that I passed away, there would be no sadness? No, it'd be a lot of sadness.

If I found out what?

I passed away.

The only thing I would be mad about-Thank you so much.is that I don't have a picture with you where I could just do my bullshit RIP post. All right. I say, This one hurt, and put the prayer sign.

We're going to have to keep taking the good ones. We're going to get that tonight.

If I did take a picture with you, if you died, Bobby, I'd be like, Well, he'll be missed. I think. No, I would be hurt if you passed away. I don't even want to talk about that.

Is that good?

It's pretty good. Yeah.

Good. Pretty good. I'm going to watch you eat it.

You guys, honestly, what a beautiful birthday edition. I thought that was a wild episode.

It was really fun.

Dude, wild. Really fun.There's so much to it.

There's a lot. It's going to kill it. Don L was our-Wait, wait, wait. Icing on the cake.

Don L, do you want to plug anything? He has a podcast. What's it called?

It's called the Don L Rowlin' Show. Okay. Subscribe to it. I go to my calendar. That was called Jamming with D. I don't know when this comes out. You guys come out the next day or so, right?

Yeah. No? No. This will be out when? A couple of weeks.

In a week.

September 30. Check out this podcast Jamming with D.

Jay with D. Jay with the D.

What up? What are your dates? You got some dates, dog?

I don't know when this is going to come out.

We just said the 30th, man.

The 30th? I will be at October the fourth. I'll be at N. J. Pac Theater in New Jersey.

Yeah, check them out.

What else? Improv & Shomer, you're playing my home, Chicago. Love that club. Addison, love that club. Mothership, going to see Rogan. Comedy Zone, Charlotte. Atl, then he goes to DC and the Irvine Improv and Milwaukee.Go to doneilrawlings.

Com.you are making some money.

Doneilrawlings. Com.

I know what those rooms, Phil.

Probably the greatest standup we know. Shut up. We love them to death.

Wait a minute. Look at his eyes. Look at his eyes on TV. Oh, my God. What? Eric. No, come on. We got to take a photo, Donna. Thank you for being a bad friend.

Don L. Don L, come on.

You're not going to… Somebody has to help me take this off.

I will.

Okay.

It's a little expensive. I can't fucking believe you.

I can't fucking believe you right now, dude. Don't do it.

Take your head off because I got to do it with your head and your glasses off.

There's no cook.

No, stop, relax. Take your glasses off, Darryl.

My glasses.

Hold on. Is it really heavy? Yes. Huge fucking head.

Is there a cook?

Yeah, there was a class, but I think he took it off. I don't know how he He didn't take it. Hold on. There you go.

And gentle, dude. Gentle, gentle.

Gentle that way. Gentle. There you go.

Oh, my God. Thank God.

Be thankful.

Thank you. It's okay. No, you're right. It's fine.

You're right. No, you're right. If you don't like it, I get it. If you don't like it, I get it. No, I don't want to. Yeah, give it back. Don't.

Give it back. That's mine.

You don't fucking like it.

I like it.

It's going to appreciate through time. It's going to go home with me.

I want a real gift then.

You're out of your fucking mind. You're out of your fucking mind.

You're out of your You're out of here. You're a real gift.

This is a real fucking gift. This is a real fucking gift. Why would you give me a $260,000 for a gift? This doesn't make any sense. It makes the oldest sense in the world. It's a gift. God. That's just like... It makes no sense. Why would he give me that? That was great, right? Okay. Manscaped. Man, that is one of probably the greatest bits we've done on this show. That was really good. What? Isn't that good? How much was that, though? He just gave it to me. I'm going to give it back to him tomorrow.Okay. Isn't that fucking amazing?Yeah.How good is that bit, though?Holy fuck, the thing How funny is that bit? She thought it was real.

There's no way I knew that. For a second, I thought it was.

But everyone, give me a little credit. You bid on that. You were scary. You bid on it. I thought that was amazing..