Transcript of The Roast of Justin Baldoni (& Flaa)

Good afternoon, millennials, because it's morning right now. We're dropping this right after we record it. And weirdly, even though we're having a day of leisure, we are recording at the exact time that we record the regular show.

Well, when I woke up this morning, I said, there's one thing I have to do, and it's to come on the internet and clear my name. We make everything about ourselves, of course. It's just our natural inclination.

But it's seemingly impossible not to make the Justin Baldon, the Blake Lively drama about us.

One, because I have like... I know there was a grassroots movement and also an astro-turf movement, but I was a part of the Blake Lively, Team Blake Lively grassroots movement. And I definitely feel like we were huge advocates and voices during that time.

We were. We were so much so that when I was reading everything that since come to light, which we will get into in a bit, we have to catch up with ourselves, yourselves. So much so that I was reading it, I was like, damn, were these public I was frustrated by the toast that we would not budge. We could not be turfed and we could not be manipulated. It's so true. They must be sick of us.

A thousand %. And there is a personal connection that I will get into later in the show.

There's so many things to say, and we're going to get into it later in the show.

The one thing I want to say, and we are going to get into it later, I promise. But the one thing I want to say, because if you take away one thing from this episode, it's like, Jackie and I actually all the time get so much shit for having no, quote, worst takes. We're always, I guess, delivering hot takes, just giving our opinions. People are like, Classic Jackson Claude always being on the wrong side of history.

No, we're classic Jackson Claude going against the green. No, no.

Classic Jackson Claude thinking independently and not being able to be brainwashed by literal campaigns paid for by agencies. So the fact that we're always getting shit for We are the other side of it.

Whenever everyone's team X, we are team Y.

And I feel so justified right now in this moment, obviously because we were right about this, but also I think it's a greater- Think about all the other things we're probably right about then. And think about all the other campaigns that we don't know about.

Right. That are campaigns. Right.

Who were we all encouraged to dislike? And Jackie and I never did. I mean, we ended up being right about ballerina Farms. All these things that happened over the summer, it was like the summer of truth. You and I were right about balleriny. We were right about Blake Liva. It just feels good. Now, I will not the whole episode go wax on about how we were right, but to-I wasn't even waiting for this.

I was like, You know what? We said our piece. It's they said, we said. And Blake's reputation was definitely tarnished in the public eye. Now for me, if anything, it made me like her more. I didn't I had an opinion about her before, but I was like, damn, this girl's really going through it. She's a mama for it. She just had a baby. She's working so hard. Doing the most. Now I have even more respect for her because she had to deal with all this shit.

Yeah, I never even particularly stand. And also sometimes It's like cancelation maketh men. It's so true. We're about to see a whole new version of Blake Lively when she comes out of this.

It really hones you as a human being for better or for worse. Because when someone's so beloved all the time, that's nice for them. It's not super interesting. Agreed. But that's nice.

But now you have a chip on your shoulder.

Welcome to the club. Yeah, now you got something to say. I want to hear. I'm listening.

We will get into it at some point in the show, but Jackson and I are just excited to be back on the ones and the twos. We've been off podcasting now for a week and a half.

We have a lot to catch up on. How was turdy staycation?

It was, yes. I'm down in Florida with Jackie. We're spending the holidays together. But before I got down here, Ben and I spent a week together in Miami. It was so nice. Just like, very relaxing pool, beach. I got a sunglasses, tan, all the things. Not much to report because it was just genuinely relaxing.

Yeah, that's really nice.

You spent that week having the opposite effect doing the most.

I did not have a relaxing week, but I had an extremely productive and fulfilling week because I spent the week getting ready for turdy's arrival. As you saw, if you didn't watch the Patreon yet, go watch it, even though it seems like a lot of you have watched it and you're really loving it. I'm so glad because I put my heart and soul-They are loving. I put my heart and soul not only into the project, which I think everyone could feel, but I put my heart and soul into that vlog an hour and 15 minutes. You also get nervous.

That's a lot of-Hold on. The girls are fighting. Dog fight. Michael, hold on.

Get Michael in here. Rudy, come to your mother. Okay. We've separated them.

Okay. Separation of church and state.

I also put my heart and soul into the vlog an hour and is a lot of Jacks, and I was really worried how it would be received. I'm so glad that people are really loving the entirety of it. So thank you guys so much.

It was such a pleasure to be the recipient of your gift. I love my room so much. It's been a beacon of peace and restoration for me during these trying times with Lively and Justin Baldon. It was seriously so above and beyond. The vlog was amazing, obviously, but the gift that I received-Let's get real, take me back. I watched parts of the vlog. It was really long. I skipped through it, obviously.

Claudia, We don't watch each other's work. We live it.

We live it. Sometimes if a patron is going up that only one of us had a hand in, the one that Jackie did, I will say, I need you to watch this before I post it. I want to make sure I didn't say anything bad.

I want to make sure it's not a piece of shite.

Yeah, requires approval. But Jackie knew she had a talking piece of content. She didn't need my approval. Then when the time came, yes, I did skip to the end to see my reaction. I did skirt through a lot of the talking parts. I just wanted to see more... I'm very HGTV like that.

Understood you don't like the confessionals of the behind the scenes drama. Exactly. And also because you saw what the room looked like, a lot of the stuff in the beginning, you don't have the suspense of like, it seemed like I wasn't doing much. I was getting a wardrobe from IKEA and maybe a firepip for my backyard and a mirror for my room, and I'll take you guys along. What it turned into. So much more than that. With so much more than that is really like a story being told. You're a storyteller. I am a storyteller. When will you guys get that? I live for content. We get it. I live for content creation. Someone said my blog was giving Molly Mae, and let me just tell you, I dined off that for days.

It's giving comfort creator. That's what they call Molly Mae. Comfort creator. Youtubers who document their life very uneventfully. They're not doing crazy stunts. They're just like makeup and chill and girlfriends and cooking. People just watch it in the background. They become their comfort creators. I know a lot of people are looking for new comfort creators since Emma Chamberlain took an oath of whatever from me too. So maybe it's you.

A comfort creator. I love that. Yeah. I'm not like, pussy popping on the dance floor.

She's not jumping out of planes. Like, do we need pranks on her grandma?

There are some funny moments, but it's not even comedy. Like, it's comfort creation.

That's your thing.

Oh, my God. I love when there's a word for what I'm thinking. Okay.

And speaking of words that I didn't know. Astro-turfing. Do you have anything else you need to catch up on?

No, I guess not.

Let's get into Okay, so I'm sitting outside.

I forget where I was when I heard this. You were in my house because you were telling all of us.

You know, but I forget which part I think I was sitting getting some sun.

You were getting sun, yeah.

I saw this lawsuit. Now, Much like everybody else, everybody's initial thought was like, this was Blake Lively trying to rehabilitate her image. To be honest, I was staunchly Team Blake in the beginning. But even I saw this, I was like, it's very hard to prove these things. There's no way she has any actual evidence. I was like, you know what? Pop off, queen. You have a ton of money. You your husband of endless resources. Bury him. I love it. I did think it was a rehabilitation thing, and it wasn't until that I read the actual... It's not a lawsuit. What's it called? It's her... I keep using the wrong word and all these layers like that complaint. People are like, That's not right. I'm like, Okay. It wasn't until I read her complaint that I was like, one, not only I was right, but two, she has so much proof and so much evidence. Screenshots, receipts, proof, timeline. One of the biggest mysteries to me of this whole saga is how did she get these people's text messages?

Something about in Discovery, when she was suing them, you have to hand over evidence.

But also Melissa Jennifer, the other one, because a lot of people said, because if you look at it, it looks like it's coming from her phone. People thought she was subpoenaed and had to fork over the messages, but she said she wasn't. She has no idea how- One of them works for Jonestown PR or whatever. Okay.

Since all this happened, she was fired because I think she went to start her own shop, and the owner of that PR company fired her, took her phone on the way out. This is what I read. And then happily gave it over because so she can ruin her new biz.

Right. Oh, love that. And then so I feel like there's also a lot of confusion here because there was a lot of different parties and agencies involved. So Melissa Nathan, who's the mastermind publicist of this whole thing, who I have so much to say about. But the first is that she's a part of this company called The Tag Agency, The Agency Group. So everybody's like, The Agency Group, all their clients, they're all doing grassroots astro-turfing. It's actually a fairly popular PR company. I know a lot of people whose publishers are there. It's not a nefarious PR company. The PR company itself is not like one of these Hollywood machines. But Melissa is this nefarious actor who works with this company based out of Dallas, who is the astro-turfing- BotFarm. Botfarm Energy masterminds. So I think a lot of people are now misunderstanding how some of the agencies work and being like, everyone who works for tech PR has... Why can't I remember the word astro-turfing? Has astro-turfing movements against them? That's actually not true. It was like a special combo of Melissa and this person she knew based out of Texas who ran these types of campaigns, which I had never even heard of.

I think what was also confusing is like, Justin Baldonia is nobody in this world. How does he have enough money to put Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds in a business? But it's the backer of Wayfarer Studios because Blake Blake Lively's initial sexual harassment complaint against HR would have really damaged the studio that he works with, and he has a lot of-No, Justin, his studio, he is Wayfair Studios.

He has a partner, Jamie. A partner, Jamie. And this guy, Jamie, who's also named in the suit for doing really fucking weird things, showing naked videos of his wife to Blake Lively on his phone.

It's those people who are backing Wayfair Studios who are paying for this because, like I said, Justin Baldoni, he's not Richy Rich.

He's not made of money. Money bags Baldoni.

That he spend more money than them. Yeah. I don't even think Blake...

First of all, I'm the most chronically online person ever. I did not know that this was a thing that you could do. I doubt Blake did either.

I think a lot of people didn't know that until recently. Now, it does make sense. You have to question everything. There are so many random tweets by random people that go super viral.

It even reminded me of the holding space.

Holding space.

Who the fuck was that person?

A real person.

A real person. It was a real person. Happy for him.

But that was all positive.

No, a studio could do that to create a moment for themselves. It could happen in a positive way or a negative way. The thing is, negativity catches fire so much faster. But there are a lot of people with these quote tweets, block tweets with hateful opinions that go super viral, and now you have to question everything.

It's insane that you It's at this level. I think as big pop culture fans- I would have never...

If someone said to me, this is what they do in Hollywood. They have these bot farms, and they make these fake accounts, and then they all go viral. I'm like, that doesn't happen. That's conspiracy.

It is, but it's not. But it's not. And the crazy part You're right that it is Wayfarer Studios because so many people who hate Blake and just want to... Who the campaign worked on and don't want to believe her, they're like, Well, why didn't she just go to the studio? That's a crazy thing. Justin Baltoni was the studio. Not only was he the director and the star, it was also his production company who produced the whole film. So all the bosses on set, the HR Department, it's him. That's why when the SAG strike, the whole thing really starts when the SAG strike happened, they went on break, and Blake had a meeting just basically being like, there's been a really weird behavior on set. I don't want to come back after the strike until it's all settled. So there's this A long list of complaints that she made that- That she asked for them to stop doing.

For Justin and his freaks to stop doing.

Jay and the freaks to stop doing. They wrote it out, and it's a part of this complaint. That was the first thing in the complaint that's really damaged It's basically an admission of guilt that they all agreed to come back to work after the sex strike because this would stop. Oh, so you agree it was happening. It's Blake's thoughts in the suit that she's filing is that everything that happened to her afterwards was retribution, retaliation from Wafer Studios. But also, if we discredit Blake and she ever comes out and says this, no one's going to believe her.

For the rest of this Pardjilicious episode, head over to patreon. Com/thetoast. We are going in on the Justin, Blake, and flaw of it all of course, the flaw of it all, and talking about this entire saga from start to finish, while never forgetting to say that we were right. This is such a fun pop culture episode because we also do a little bit of rapid fire pop culture at the end of the episode talking about all the other things that have happened since we've been off. So it's a really great pop culture catch up. And if you're missing your girlies, head over to the Patreon because we are missing you and we have so much fun content over at our Patreon this month. Really great blogs from this month. But also, if you join our Patreon today, you will get access to every episode we've ever done for Patreon. So that's over 400 episodes of content. You will no longer have to miss us so dearly until we return in the new year. And Patreon, if you've never used it, it's a fab app and website. If you don't want to download an app, just head over to the website, Patreon.

Com/thetoast. You make a login, 2 seconds, boom, yada in, and you have access to all of this content that we have been doing for years. And it's really pargy stuff, a lot of personal stuff, family stuff, blogs, really fun, fun times with the fam, and friends. There's friends, there's friends too. There's Dana, there's Abe. Everyone's popped into the Patreon at some point in the last seven years. So it's seven years worth of content, and it's really a grand old time. So if you're looking for a little something today, head over to the Patreon, and we will be back soon. We love you, and we miss you. Bye.