Transcript of Load Bearing Pasta: Friday, October 18th, 2024

Good morning, millennials. And welcome back to The Toast. And happy Friday, a Gargi Pargy Friday. A Gargi Pargy day of the Week, any week. This week, in particular, Jackson Clotter together in Florida.

It's Taylor Day.

So that means a lot of things, right? It means that we're in conservation mode.

Oh, by the way, Rep TV didn't drop.

Well, she could announce it today. No, it didn't make sense. Everybody thought Rep was coming, Friday night. Music gets released Thursday at midnight.

Taylor can release music whenever she wants.

Yeah, but she cares a lot about going number one and getting all the sales. That's true. So today's episode is an audio-only extravica gonza because Jackie and I are two women in our 30s going to the Ares Tour, and that means something. Well, we didn't want to do makeup twice today, and it's just been a crazy day around here.

And in order to get the episode up in a timely manner, audio only it is.

Yeah, and I'm not mad because, like I said, this is the first time. I've gone to the Ares Tour three times, but this is my first time going as a woman who's 30 years old. And not to put you like, you're 31.

One. It's like really nothing. It's a lot.

We really can't hang like we used to. I think the first time I went to the Aeros store, I was 28. No. No? Nashville? That was May, so it was before my birthday. Yeah, it was literally, I was 28.

Yeah, I guess. That was a really long time ago. Imagine how tailored feels when she started doing the air restore. She was 17. 32, and now she's going to be 35. And when she finishes, that's crazy.

She'll be 40. No, I know. So I'm really excited, but I am nervous about how it's going to take a toll on my body.

Yeah, I just made up those numbers, by the way, about 32 and 35. But Taylor is a good- Sounds right. An easy person to age because we all know she was born in 1989.

It's so true. That would make her 35.

In December.

In December. Okay, 34. Yeah. Crushed it. That actually is so true. Kind of big mistake on her part, letting everyone know.

Letting everyone know.

I'm so excited. We are going to... Honestly, it's a whole day affair because we have to make a little bit of a Live, and we haven't decided yet if we're going to go see Gracie Abrams.

We haven't made our plan, gotten a snack, and packed an umbrella yet. No, and we- But we might need an umbrella.

We might need an umbrella. And when Jackie and I took a trip this summer to go to Luke Holmes, on the way back home, we had nothing in the car to help us. It was such a long car. That one was three hours to the Hamptons, but we needed blankets, snacks, a microwave. We didn't have anything. Let me tell you, we're not making that mistake. We are seriously packing a trunk.

Stock in the car. I think I'm going to put my Crock pot in there, and maybe I could use the cigar outlet to light it up, and we could have a roast chicken when we come out of the concert.

I love that idea. I'm definitely bringing like, slippers, blankets, pajamas, pajamas.

We could have a chili waiting for us.

We I would have a chili. I'm so nervous about not having the things. We were freezing in the back of that car. Ben wouldn't let us turn the air conditioning off. We were wearing tiny little dresses. We didn't even have a blanket. Nothing. We will not make that mistake again.

We will be prepared. We will be prepared. Be prepared.

I flew in last night. You guys, Jackie made me such... It was a long day. We worked, we had a bunch of things, and then I went straight to the airport, got on a flight. And by the time I got to your house, I was ravenous, felt weak, needed iron. And there was such a meal waiting for me. Not only did she make me exactly what I requested, which was Jackie's chicken meat balls are amazing and pasta. I didn't even talk to you about this offline, the shape of pasta you decided to go with, which is such a personal choice, honestly. It's 10 out of 10. No, What would you call that? Rigatoni?

That's rigatoni. I sent Zack to the store. I said, First, get a box from the... Get top-schelf pasta. He's like, I don't know what that is. I'm like, On the top-schelf is what it means. That's where the nicer, higher priced items are on the top-schelf. Yeah, that's why when it's top-schelf liquor, the cheaper ones are on the bottom. So I was like, Get top-schelf pasta for turdy. That's so funny. And he was like, What shape? I was like, Any shape except penne.

Agreed. Even though I would have eaten it.

Penne and meatballs does not work.

Okay, penne and meatballs doesn't work. Neither does angel hair and meatballs. Angel hair is so weak. Yeah.

It doesn't have the strength.

It has no foundation. It's so true. That rigotoni was thick.

And then spaghetti is so obvious.

I'm down. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to knock it.

It's an obvious one for a reason, though. It's the cliché for a reason. But it was just not what... I didn't want to make you spaghetti and meatballs. How pedestrian. It's so true.

And then I feel like somebody who doesn't know a lot about cooking, like Zack, just harmlessly, they could have picked up shells. And that would have been- He was really...

I said to him, he was like, I don't know what to Because he called me from the store. I'm like, There's no wrong choice if I'm telling you, get what you want, just not penny.

There is a wrong choice, though. Like, elbows is not the vibe.

Shells. I also like Fusilli. Spiral. Okay.

I like Fusilli, too. Not with a meatball. Meatballs really complicate things in terms of structural sound.

You need a load-bearing pasta.

Exactly. A load-bearing noodle. A rigatoni, even a bad rigatoni, is big. I feel like you can never go wrong with I do agree with that. And Penne has just become pedestrian. I don't know if that's the right word. So accessible. Kids are eating it. It's not special.

No, it is not special.

It was so good. And then she also made me, you guys, chocolate chip cookies from scratch using Sourdough Discard. They were amazing. Thank you so much. And she vlogged the whole experience.

I did. I knew I was going to be cooking for you all day and getting the house ready for you. And I just got, I'm sure you saw in my house, this tripod for my kitchen so that I can cook more and film myself because I really, as I said, I enjoy blogging.

You can't lie to the people. You don't have just a tripod in your kitchen. You guys, she has a tripod on wheels that seriously has a ring light and a thing for your phone. And it's like this. It looks like when people walk around the hospital- With their IV bag. They need to go to the bathroom or something, but they can't leave their IV, so they take their big rolling IV bag with them on a stick. She walks around the house with this big tripod on wheels. I've never seen a tripod on wheels before.

I take content creation seriously. I told you guys I like blogging, and I really want to invest in myself.

No, I love it. When you have company over, where does it go? It's so big. The garage.

By the way, the boys, when they see a tribe, how they go crazy because it's a fun stick to play with. And this one has confounded them. They broke my last one. Classic. Actually, it was on its last leg. One of the screws fell out, but it wasn't their fault. And it's not even about company. It's about how do I hide it from them? Usually, I have drapes in my dining room. We just took them down because we're adding a balance, just drape things. When the drapes When I come back, I can hide the tripod behind the drapes.

Yeah, that's a very Claudia thing to do. I love to hide things.

Because I don't want to bring it to my garage and bring them out, bring them out every time I decide to film myself.

And when you create content as frequently as we do, you can't just be putting things away.

Well, it's not even about the vlog. I could also film more videos in my kitchen for my stories of my bread and maybe make one cooking reel. Maybe. Maybe. I don't know about that.

Don't make any promises because it's really crazy. But you guys have to see this thing to understand it. Maybe we'll do like a-I'm putting it in the In the vlog, I talk about how I got new equipment, and then I have a vignette of it. Is it from Amazon? Yeah.

Okay. So what happened was I asked Ben for the one that he used in the Hamptons that we used to clip onto the counter, and we were always using it. He had a good one. However, my counters don't hang off, so I actually don't think I'd be able to clip it onto my island. Then you could upgrade that same tripod to the one with wheels. I was like, I think it's got to be a wheelie.

It's seriously one of the craziest I've ever seen in my life.

But it works for you. But you know a content creator lives here.

Let me tell you, as a content creator myself, I can attest to the fact that nothing is more personal than choice of tripod. Choice of mount. It's such a personal thing. I'm glad that you found something that works for you.Thank you so much.You're welcome.How are the stories today?

Weird.

Yeah, it's like a Friday. There's weird vibes. Maybe it's just because I'm not in my usual routine and the weather here is gloomy, but do you feel like today's a weird day?

Yeah, it's just to be together starting on Friday. Usually, it's a Monday But to bring that Friday energy, it's incongruous with the facts.

It's totally incongruous.

I feel like it feels like a weekend for us. It's mostly the fact that we're sitting here. It's like, why are we working on a weekend?

Right. Okay, well, the good news is we're not far off from the weekend for everybody, no matter where you are. Tomorrow is Saturday.

Even though it was the four-day week.

Oh, my God. Yeah. I was actually just reminiscing because I was choosing my queeny and weeny of the week, and I was like, What happened this week? Not Craig's episode being this That was an eternity ago. Right. Honorable mention, he's not my queening, but-I feel like I hear someone rolling around my tripod. Oh, no. They're messing with mommy's things. Yeah, it also is loud.

So you know mom's coming down the hallway. Everyone clear out.

It's so true. She's filming. She's literally like, next thing you know, she's going to come down in a hospital gown. It's the craziest thing. I'll make sure to get some content of Jackie and the Tripod this weekend.

I'm committed to my craft. That's all I'm saying.

I think that's beautiful.

Thank you so much.

So I'm ready to dive in if you are. Like you said, the stories are weird, but we are not.

We are not, and we do need to cap off the week. There's a lot of loose ends to tie up. It's true. We have a lot to say. It wouldn't feel right if we... Not that we have a choice to do this episode or not.

I It's like we technically have free will, but we have to work.

No, you have jobs. You could not show up to work, but will you still have a job? No.

Why don't you fuck around and find out?

Right. As it says on my wall.

Yeah, Jackie, very underratedly in her studio has a gorgeous... Would you say that's a postmodern modern type of art?

I guess it is postmodern. Yes, it's a piece that says, Fuck around and find out. And just the story, if I may, and explain why it's in here. I ordered a lot of my furniture, including these Buhcle chairs that we sit on from Scout Design Studio, and they have really great art. Around the time I started saying, Fuck around and find out, they also had this piece. They were like, We would love to gift it to you. It's so you.

She really is an influencer. She's getting gifts, and she has a tripod on wheels.

Gifted art. However, it has a swear word in it. That's why it's in my studio and not just on the ground in my house.Not the swear word.Not the swear word.

Well, in addition to you welcoming me into your home and giving me great food and a place to stay, you've also introduced me to the Fallout Boy Spidey Duran, Disney Junior soundtrack. Yeah. I guess Jacky's kids are obsessed with this random show that I have seriously never heard of.

Spidey and his amazing friends.

And it's like the books, and they have everything. I guess in conjunction with the TV version, Fall Out Boy came out with a whole album.

A soundtrack, yeah.

Let me tell you, that shit's really good, you guys. To your friendly neighborhood, Spider. That shit pops all the way off.

And their teamwork can't be tighter. I love when famous people dabble and children's things, and they take it seriously, and they bring their art and their talent to the kids' space.

I think that's actually a really generous use of their time.

Yeah, the way I like to imagine it is that fallout boy, Pete- His kids. Has kids, and they maybe watch Spider-Man, and he was feeling inspired. Hey, I could write a great theme song to this show, and I would love to think that that's how art happens.

I think, in a more realistic sense, the way how I perceive these artistic collaborations to happen is that kids' gigs just pay really well. And that's how they get Tyler, the creator, to do that whole Grinch thing, right?

Yes. Okay. But that's different because the Disney Junior show is not like, Grinch Illumination.

Yeah, they don't have that budget.

It's true. And I also feel like when a show does want to do a soundtrack, and it's a small show, they probably get like, Fake Fall Out Boy. That's what I thought I was listening to at first because it doesn't say Fall Out Boy on the song. I was like, oh, they got like, Fake Panic at the Disco, whatever. It's working for me. Then a mom I was talking to was like, Fall Out Boy did the whole album. I was like, Oh, okay, that makes something like that sense. It's really good.

Yeah. It is really good. For adults and kids alike.

For things you have to listen to on repeat, it could be so much worse. So true. So thank you, Fall Out Boy. Thank you, Fall Out Boy.

Thank you for introducing me to that. I'm actually enjoying it.

And I know Ben is probably listening to it alone in his car.

Yeah, adding it to his emo night playlist. Okay, well, now.

Without further a do, do, do, do, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

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She actually has a new show on Amazon Live. It's called In Bed with Page to Sorbo. She's having guests come over and get in bed with her, cooking snacks, being cozy. Ben and I have done a ton of Amazon Lives as well as Margot and I. Ben and I made fried chicken sandwiches with mac and cheese. It was really premium and really fun. Very Richelle Ray moment for us, if you will. Really, you can elevate your viewing and your shopping experience with Amazon Live. Lala Kent's new series is called Mama's Still Got It. Check that out. Also, They have TikTokers like Josh Richards and Gabby Mora. Really, any whatever your internet interests are, you'll find something at Amazon Live. So stream and shop my channel on Amazon Live by going to amazon. Com/live/girlwithnojob, or you can watch and enjoy the best of Amazon Live on their new live TV channel on Freevie or Prime Video under the DIY section and shop along on your phone. Today's episode is also brought to you by Kiwi Co. Kiwi Co is launching Kiwi Co Clubs to engage kids on a journey to have seriously fun learning. So Kiwi Co is like a life, not a lifelong, like a long time sponsor of The Toast, and I feel like very much aligns with Jackie's parenting style of trying to keep the kids engaged, having fun while also being educational, staying off screens as much as we can.

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Thank you, Slash the turt.

You're welcome, Slash the jurt.

Our first story is a bit of an update from yesterday's story because tributes are pouring in for Liam Payne, especially from his One Direction cast members. So all of the members of One Direction have put out a statement, including then the One Direction official page. But Harry and the boys each wrote their own individual thing for Liam, just talking about the tragedy and how they'll be there for his kids and just honoring his life.

I feel like the most interesting one was Zane's because when you have a really complicated relationship with someone and a history of not getting along, but you spend so much time together and you really grew up together, and then they pass away, those are complicated feelings. And so I actually thought his was really well written. Everybody's was really sweet. What is there to say? It's so sad. But his, there's a lot of history there. And I thought he actually wrote something really lovely.

Especially when everybody's looking to you like, oh, what are you going to say? Because, of course, we were just talking last week about the up against the wall thing. Exactly. So you know that there's had been issues in the past, but all of that is washed away when something like this happens. And then also other news is coming out about Liam's final week. Yeah. It was reported that Universal Music, which was his record label, dropped him just days before his death.

Yeah. A lot of the things that I've seen, I feel, would lead one to think that perhaps he did take his own life because I'm now seeing a ton of podcast clips that he's done in years. When you stitch them together, they look like something. But if you just were following at the time, he just talked about his struggles with suicidal ideation at times and how his worst nightmare is being left alone in a hotel room. He had actually said that on a podcast, which was creepy. Then this, getting bad news because his solo career was in this weird place. It does lead you to think that maybe it wasn't an accident, but we don't know for sure. I don't know if we will ever know for sure. Yeah. Apparently, the CCTV cameras and the security cameras in the lobby weren't working for the hours that he was. But I don't know if that's supposed to make us think it's shady. I just feel like this hotel was not equipped for a mega star to show up at. Yeah.

I mean, maybe his close family, though, know. If he was struggling. Because also there are ways to know the trajectory of the fall and velocity and stuff like that. Maybe his family will get that information, but that doesn't mean that they'll share it with the public. We might not ever know Also, in addition to this bad news of the record label being dropped, there was his ex, not to say anything like she's entitled to tell her story.

Are you talking about Maya?

Yeah, that there was just a lot of really bad stuff about him being said.

Yeah, pretty said. Pretty significant allegations from her. I haven't seen her say anything yet. She had been talking a lot. I think she was writing this book that was a fiction book, but she made it abundantly clear that it was about her relationship and the time that she spent with him. She had been doing podcasts, promoting it, and it's been total radio silence since then. I don't know how or what she could even say. But yeah, that's where it gets complicated. Two things can be true.

Yeah.

No, it's really sad. And I spent so much time on social media yesterday because I was traveling and literally, what else is there? I had my Kindle, but God forbid, I even opened it up. Because it didn't have buttons. And I just want to say, I knew that the One Direction fanhood was big and powerful and all-encompassing, but it has been 10 years.

I feel like they were laying dormant. There wasn't anything for them to engage with.

No, they are very, very much alive, and they're really not doing well. This is absolutely devastating. I was really shocked to see how many... And it's people like me. I grew up, I was such a One Direction I'm a fan, but these are all now grown people really struggling with this news. I think for Liam, at the height of the band, I feel like everybody had their favorites, and there were some that were... Harry was a lot of people's favorites, but Liam was up there. Was he? Yeah, I would say he was probably people's second or third favorite between him, Harry, and Zane. Okay. Yeah.

I see that.

I also thought it was really interesting how everybody in their statements, the boys from the band, regarded him as Even though he was the youngest, I didn't realize that at the time, they were all around 18 or 19, but he was 16, he was the most experienced when it came to music. And also, I think he was the most confident. He took on, oddly, a mentorship role, even though he was younger than everyone else. And they all remarked on that in their statements. And I never would have known that or even guess that he was... But then when you go back and watch all their original auditions, which is now content that is taking over my free page.

I saw them torn.

Let me tell you, those boys literally couldn't sing if their life depended on it. Harry Style's singing Drops of Jupiter They put them together. It was in one of the rounds before they were made a band, an actual piece of shit.

I was listening to them sing Torn.

That's their first. They put them together as a band, threw them in a room, and this was their first performance, Torn. It's not bad.

But before that- I was waiting. I was like, this is going to be like, Fifth Harmon, sing anything can happen. And I was just waiting to be moved. I was like, oh, no, they really grew together, and they all actually really matured vocally.

It's amazing that they all made it past the first audition, let alone to the fourth or fifth to get put together as a band. But if you ever truly want to giggle, go watch everybody's Louis. Louis Tomlinson. These are five people who actually have no singing abilities. It's unbelievable.

I guess that's where Simon Cowell deserves his credit.

No, actually, I don't know if you've seen this before Liam Payne. I'm telling you, Nicole Scherzinger is having a moment. I told you about her thing on Broadway. But apparently, the X Factor UK archive finally released a bunch of footage of the actual put together, the moment that the boys were put together in a band. It was 1,000% all Nicole Scherzinger. You see her playing with the pictures of all the people who maybe get sent home, maybe go to the next round. She literally takes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and she's like, They would be a cute band. The girls would love them. It was literally all her idea. It's so funny how Simon Cowell gets a credit. Marketing mastermind. Your natural inclination just now was to be like, and that's everyone's, to be like, Oh, well, Simon Cowell really saw in them what others couldn't say. No, it was literally Nicole Scherzinger. Oh, wow. Niall Hormel was just asked about that in a interview because he was the first one that she pulled. She built the band around him. That's. Niall, they were like, Did you know that? This footage just came out.

He was like, I had no idea. I was shocked. He was like, When I was a kid, I never thought. I think he thought he was like, He was just happy to be there and definitely not the number one guy. No. Thank you to whoever thought to pull that footage out of the archive because seriously, that's stuff we needed to know.

It was never before seen? Never before seen. Who's working in the X Factor archive? Is that show still even on the air? It is. Okay, so they have an archival team.

You know what the weird thing about Liam Payne's time on X Factor is, is that he ended up dating and having a baby with Sheryl, who was a judge on his season when he was 16.

She was a judge on his season? Mm-hmm. I knew that they were together for a while. It was like an X Factor royal- I didn't realize. I didn't put together this week that that's who is the mother of his child.

I also thought it was interesting, celebrity tributes for Liam beyond the boys, who he had professional and personal relationships with Charlie Pooth, Rita Aura. I never would have guessed these people, but I guess they had worked together in some capacity.

The Rita Aura song is everyone.

I don't know that one. I heard it on TikTok today. It was the first time I heard it. Really?

We were just talking about it.

No, we're talking about, Strip that down for me.

You were talking about it, that song, because I don't even really know that song.

I didn't know the Rita Aura, Liam Payne Q-Lab.

It is...

Something me. Collect me, something like that. Maybe.

Maybe not.

No, but They have a song, but I hadn't heard of it.

Yeah, but it's not his top five on Spotify.

I feel it was popular in the UK. Oh, here, for you. For you. I feel it was popular in the UK. They're like, She's like, oddly, really famous in the UK.

It's not odd.

She's Italian. No, it's not odd. But when we think of her place and culture here, it's very different than her place and culture.

There's a place for her.

I actually don't know if there is.

I think there's a place for her.

There's a place for us. Maybe there is, yeah.

Well, very tragic. Just very sad, sad news. Every detail that comes in is just a sadder. I know. This record label thing, it's just sad.

No, it makes you think, did that cause him to spiral? Yeah, that is really sad.

Switching gears, if I may, to our next story, which is actually going to elicit some Strong feelings from you, knowing your history.

Who was a DUI? Wait, I saw it this morning. Wait, I forget.

Jay Cutler. Jay Cutler was arrested for a DUI and gun possession in Tennessee. He has a Glock.

I have a Glock, and I've had it for quite some time.

Jay Cutler was arrested on DUI charges on Thursday night. Not only was he taken into custody for driving under the influence, but he was also hit with three other charges, TMZ reported. He was busted for gun possession, failure to exercise due care, and violation of implied consent law.

Well, not cool of him to not exercise care for due. That's disrespectful. That's very disrespectful.

I love that that's a crime. You didn't exercise due care.

I completely agree. Get yourself together.

Care more.

I obviously have strong feelings about DUIs. I think it's the most disgusting, heinous, or responsible thing you can do. I am a hater for life most of the time if you have one. I think with Jake Butler is he is so someone I don't give a shit about. If I wanted to stop engaging with his content, I didn't even engage ever. I don't know how to stop existing. My relationship- Your life doesn't have to change.

Nothing about your behaviors has to change.

Now, someone who has three kids and having this type of behavior, obviously, I feel sad for. That's tough. Yeah. But again, this is just so not my level of care. I don't care. I'm expressing no due care.

Are you going to be charged with not- Lack of due care. Lack of due care. I do care. I know you do. I like Jay Cutler. I also, I don't subscribe to his- His channel. Things that he does. But anytime he pops up doing an interview or even I'm very Cavalier, anytime I encounter him, I like him. Yeah.

That's why, because you watched Very Cavalier. I didn't.

I did. And then You know I loved his interview with Sophia with an F. Can I ask you a question? Guys, if you haven't watched Jay Butler on Sophia with an F- We should.

Can I ask you a question? I'm just now putting together. What did you think of Shannon when you were watching Very Cavalier?

It's hard because I don't remember. She was the villain, but you could tell that she was being the villain, and she was impossible to root for. She wasn't doing her job. Kristen kept giving her chances, and they didn't establish why Kristen would keep giving this person chances. Is she even good at her job? We don't know. But there were also the girls who were supposed to be the good girls, like Brittany. She had an extra I in her name.

Oh, Brittany.

She wasn't doing it for me either.

Got it. So you couldn't pick aside?

I There were a couple girls. I guess mostly I liked Kristen and Jay because I thought that the drama in the store, the girls who we were supposed to, who were funny and cute and sweet, they weren't doing it for me. And then the villain was villain. Right.

She was playing a part very much. Yeah. Interesting. I never put that together at the time.

I know. I always think about that, too. I think Shannon probably asked me that once.

She's such a different... It's crazy. That's not her.

When Shannon talks about the show, she was like, no, they said John Vanney said, jump, and I said, how high? What can I do for the show? How can I be the villain? How can we make the show pop off? I'm here, I'm on television, I'm excited, and I'll do what it takes. Good for a T-player. I feel like that makes sense. That was my reaction, which was like, this person is not doing likable things, but she wasn't trying to be liked. She was just trying Trying to do good. Do good entertainment.

Exactly. That's so interesting. Yeah. Well, back to Jay Cutler. Seriously, do better. There's really not much to say when somebody acts so poorly and makes such bad decisions.

Yeah.

And thank God, nobody got hurt with his Glock or with his driving.

Yeah. And the possession was illegal? Of the gun? Yeah. Because why was he charged with that?

Well, I believe in Tennessee, you can have a gun, but you can't just be throwing it around. I think it has to be in a holster. Maybe they pulled him over and they found it loose in the front seat, not in his Glock compartment.

Okay.

There are laws, even when it's a state that has a gun. Yeah, it's field carry.

They're cool with guns.

Yeah, you can't just be whipping it out, twirling it around your index finger.

But you're implying that he was twirling it.

I think that that's what we're led to believe.

And you're saying he was swirling it?

Because when you get a DUI, they take you out of your car, and then everything in your car is fair game, right? It's where they find drugs.

And so maybe his legal firearms was being transported in an illegal way.

Or maybe some people, he may have homes in different states, and it's licensed in one state, not in another. I don't know. I don't have a Glock. So I don't know the rules, and I'm just guessing here.

Yeah. Interesting. Kind of like a vague-Challenge.

I feel like they just threw the book at him.

Like the do care, please elaborate further. And then the failure to consent to implied law. The fuck does that mean to? Maybe he didn't want to do a breathalize?

That's what I feel like. He didn't want to do the line test or a breathalizer. But I saw on TikTok once, and so keep this in mind, it's just TikTok. For legal advice, you don't have to take a breathalizer test.

Yeah.

But I don't know if that's true. So if you would get pulled over, maybe just breathe.

But I think that bodes poorly for you. In the larger case, it's like you were fused.

It doesn't help. Yeah, right. But I guess it bodes less poorly than a 0.09..

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you could just theorize about the person who didn't take the breathalizer. As opposed to somebody with real results.

Yeah.

This is a legal podcast. Get your free legal advice from Turdian Barnes.

Turdian Barnes.

Who is your version of Celina and Barnes? Is there a commercial down here that plays?

I don't watch enough live television to say.

No screen time.

But you could always see them on the highway.

They get you everywhere.

Yeah.

Your wife is hot. Multimedia. Your wife is hot.

Your wife is hot.

I like that one.

Okay, Jay Cutler, do better.

Actually, you're a grown ass man. Unacceptable. And you're wealthy. Get a car driver.

I can't see Jay Cutler being chauffeered around. He seems like the type who wants to take the wheel.

I can see Jay Cutler calling an Uber. I really could. You could? Yeah.

I actually, I couldn't. Well, that's where we're different. I feel like he wants to be in control. Well, then don't drink. You can't have it all. I'm not saying he should. I'm just saying some people aren't meant to be driven around.

And some people are, and I just want to say, I am meant to be driven around.

I feel like you guys can't see me behind the wheel.

I just can't stress enough how much I love to be chauffeered around, whether it's by my husband, by a stranger as an Uber driver. I love to be chauffeered. Me as well. If I win the lottery, one of my first hires would be a personal chauffeur. Round the clock, anytime I need anything. Call the chauffeur. Chives.

Fire up the car.

Fire. How big in Sexton City always has Ray. That's what I want. Yeah.

Well, are you ready for our next story? Someone who's attempting to do better, it seems, after so many times of not doing better, Morgan Wallen is announcing his own festival, created with AEG Presents and Stage Coach producer Stacey V. So After headlining Stage Coach in May, country superstar Morgan Wallen will spend a weekend in May 2025 headlining his own newly created music festival dubbed Sand in My Boots, named after one of his most popular songs. The festival will take place May 16th through 18th on the shores of Gulf Shores, Alabama. It was announced on Thursday.

Let me tell you, Ben went to the Gulf Shores of Alabama for Spritz a couple of, maybe a year ago, and has not stopped talking about it since. He says it's seriously the most underrated beautiful place on the planet. Oh, wow. It's close to you.

Yeah. That's great.

I was like, I first roll my eyes at this because it's giving Astro World. I hate when people get into festival planning when it's not your job. It's obviously hard to do. But having the stage coach in the AG is like a Live Nation type of company. I feel like maybe they'll be able to pull it off. The Live Nation was involved in Astro World, whatever. Actually, I think this is a good idea. When you can sell that many tickets just yourself, why not make it a full affair and make it more of a business? Because I don't have a whole lineup of people probably who will participate Pretty big names. Then you get the liquor sponsors, and everybody buys tickets, and they can't. It's a whole thing. There aren't enough country festivals, in my opinion, mainstream ones.

I agree. I think it's a good idea. I think for something like stage shows, people literally buy their Stage Coach ticket because Morgan Wallen is headlining, so why not capture all of that for Morgan's self?

Then you think about how he came to New York, he did two nights at...

Msj.

No, MetLife. It's like 150,000 people, I think. That's just for a two-hour concert, right? It's actually a really smart business decision, but there are only so many people who could do it.

Yeah, it's the stadium, Swirly.

It's literally him and Taylor. Not even. I don't think. Ed Sheeran sells a lot of tickets, but I don't think they sell out years in advance.

Yeah, Luke, too. But Luke just did something, I think, similar to this, actually. Bootleggers. Fireside Bootleggers in the Sand.

Bootleggers taking the boots by storm. Sand in my Bootleggers. Also, Luke was actually asked about his upcoming concert for the Hurricane Relief, and if he's going to sing Hurricane. And he said, I thought about it, and ultimately I decided no.

That's our king right there.

Like, king of sensitivity.

Even though if he said, I thought about it, and I ultimately decided yes, I would have also responded, that's my king right there.

Of course, because I respect his decision.

I respect his decision, as you should when you truly love someone inside and out. That's what I'm trying to tell you guys. One thousand %. Trust your faves.

Trust your faves.

Or else, they shouldn't be your faves.

We won't be having a Demi Lovato heart attack at the American Heart Association type of moment, which is for the best.

No, it makes me sad that we won't have that type of moment. However, I wouldn't want that type of moment on Luke. I would rather clown on someone else. Not my thing.

We're protective of his record. We don't want that anywhere on his- But for Demi, it is so congruous with her.

With who she is.

So all over the place, never thinking.

Not reading the room, doing acts of service without thinking them through.

If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack.

I love it. I love it. It's also iconic as his It's just amazing across the board.

I agree. It really goes down in history as a cornerstone moment of pop culture.

It's also very Katie Perry. Katie Perry could do that. I would love it from her. I would hate it, and I would love it so much.

I could see Katie up there.

Right? Yeah. She could... I don't even know what song. I don't even want to think about what she could do.

Well, Luke is not... Yeah, somebody died in a fire, and she's singing Firework. Luke will not be doing that.

Because that's my king right there.

Because that's our king right there. Yeah.

Yeah. So congrats, Morgan Wallen.

Yeah, no, that's cool. Like, please.

More of this.

More of this in a very safe way. Please learn from all the things that happened before you.

Learn from Fire Festival.

Learn from Astro World. Learn from Astro World. Like, take security measures. Like, do all the things. Don't cut corners.

Yeah.

For a pretty bit. Well, then that's just exciting because there's another country festival, and Morgan Wallen is the headliner. Right. That's cool.

Have fun. Get some sand in your boots.

I don't love the name. I wanted to say that.

Do you think it should have been Morgfest?

No, I feel like, okay, he's going to name it after one of his songs. He has so many songs that are country to a T. Let's see. I don't know, Sand in My Boots.

It doesn't sound like a festival.

It's on the beach. Yeah.

No, that's cute. We're like the Last Night Festival.

That's cute. It's fine. The Dangerous Festival. Well, no. Hopefully, it's not.

Hopefully not.

The Homes Town Festival.

That's cute. But it would have to be in his hometown.

Well, it's someone's hometown.

Yeah. I like Morgfest, but nobody asked me.

I like Wallyfest. Wally. Yeah. I think Wallyfest is best.

You know what's funny about the movie Wally?

I don't know what's funny about the movie Wally. I've never seen it.

It's that like... It's so forgotten. It's forgettable. I was watching a compilation of best animated movies to win the Oscars for the last 20 years, and Wally won. And there were a lot of forgettable ones in there. But I just felt like people thought Wally was a cultural shift. And now looking back, it's like, what did Wally change?

I don't think Wally was a cultural shift. I think Wally was a cultural shift. Anna?

Yeah. I'm just saying I don't think Wally did as much as he thinks he did.

Yeah. Wally, let's be completely real. Wally was just an E. T. Knockoff, right? Wally, E. T.

Yeah. No, he was a robot that was the only survivor of-I actually didn't see it. Catastrophe.

But wasn't it a silent film? Wally didn't talk?

Because there was nobody there. There was soundtrack and stuff, but there was no other people other than Wally.

They wonder why no kids wanted to see it, please.

Are you ready for our next story?

If it's our next story, that's brought to you by Huggies Perchance.

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Gargi-pargie diapering is a part of Gargi-pargie fall. Gpd. Today's episode is also brought to you by Thrive Market. So take the stress out of grocery shopping for you and your family with Thrive Market's commitment to quality. If you have shopped at Thrive Market, like you probably haven't been back to your local grocery store in ages, First of all, it's online grocery ordering, which is everything. Getting it delivered to your front door is so fabulous. But if you're really conscious about the types of things you bring into your home and you want to bring harmful ingredients into your cleaning supplies, food, snacks for your kids, check out Thrive Market. So they use trusted ingredients. So CERTIFYD Organic is always their first choice. Thrive Market studies every label to search for the best, most wholesome ingredients that have been vetted for safety. That way, you don't have to spend hours reading your kids snack labels. They even restrict over a thousand ingredients that are found at conventional grocery stores, so you can shop for your family with peace of mind. They're also on a mission. Their mission is to make healthy and sustainable living easy and affordable for everyone.

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Oh my God. Thanks, Claudia. You're so nice.

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Thank you. I'm going to embrace my turd esthetic.

Okay, that's fine with me because I think that's a beautiful esthetic, but I'm obviously biased.

Our next story, some Tell Me Lies news.

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies.

Also, I was thinking last night that I don't love the name of the show. Let's talk about that. Right?

I don't dislike it because it's accurate. Everybody in the show just fucking lies.

I know, but No, actually, I'm going to disagree with you.

I think it's a fine name.

It's not strong enough.

I do wish they utilized- It should be called like, Sex Lies of College Girls.

No, like something just more concrete.

I do wish that they utilized the iconic song, Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies. Also, I was thinking last night that I don't love the name of the show. Let's talk about that. I don't dislike it because it's accurate. Everybody in the show just fucking lies. I know, but like... No, actually, I'm going to disagree with you. I think it's a fine name. It's not strong enough. I do wish they utilized... It should be called like, Sex Lives of College Girls. No, something just more concrete. I do wish that they utilized the iconic song, Tell me Tell Me A Sweet Little Lies. Tell Me A Sweet Little Lies. Whenever we all hear that word, that phrase, we think of that song.

I like when the title is a noun, not a verb.

She likes when the title is a noun. Okay, so what do you think is the perfectly named show?

Desperate Housewives, noun. Yeah, Girls. The O-C. Girls. Game of Thrones.

I understand.

This is like a verb.

It's an action item. I agree.

Anyways, but the Tell Me Lies boss is addressing the dramatic finale and a bit of a spoiler for season three, which is that a cast member is not going to be on season 3. Not because they're not coming back, but because they're no longer part of the story.

Leo.

Oliver.

Oh, that's shocking. Although I think it makes sense. This was just a weird time in Bre's life.

Yeah, but that would mean that if he is the person on the phone, he either stays on the phone in a...

Like a metaphysical sense.

Or he's not the person on the phone. Yeah.

No, I think that the eagle-eyed viewers thought that if Oliver was on the phone, that was far too obvious. The show was more creative than that.

When asked if he would be back in the future, Megan Oppenheimer, who's the show right now, showrunner said, I don't think so. I think Tom was just wanting to do one season. That's Oliver's actor name. He said, I think that we wrapped up his story in a way that really worked for me. I don't know where else we would go after that with him. It's true. She said, I think we could bring Maryanne back, maybe. There's a lot more story to tell with her, but I think we learned that Oliver is so broken and hollow by the end of the season that I'm ready for Bre to be done with him. Yeah, and he's not in love with Bre.

He's not going to chase Bre. This was a fun little game for him for one semester. There's nothing more.

Yeah. I'm glad to know that Bre is not going to spend next semester-Pining. Not that she would. She was so-Mad. Thoroughly turned off by the whole situation. But it also poises her to go back to Evan, where it's like, oh, all of a sudden, Evan looks like an amazing guy.

Yeah, stability is attractive to her again. Right.

Someone who only wants her.

I feel like isn't a spoiler, honestly.

If you didn't watch this season, then I guess it's a spoiler. Yeah.

But I feel like it's not.

Yeah.

Tell me last. Wait, I also just found something out that I didn't know because a lot of people were obsessed with the song that played at the very end of the season finale, which was a song from the Killers, but it was a girl singing it in a very sultry.

Mr..

Bright Side cover. And that actually is Bre singing. I can't believe I didn't even notice it because it literally sounds just like her talking voice.

Yeah, I listened to it on Spotify, and then It's not something that I would listen to. More than once. But it was really good in the show.

I love when people are a part of a show and they get involved in different departments.

Maybe next season, she'll join the theater troupe with her musical abilities.

Like the the Acapella Group.

Yeah. They need hobbies, by the way. None of these people participate in campus culture. Extracurriculars.

It's so true. Maybe that's why they're so toxic. Except for Wrigley.

Not even anymore. Right. So true. They don't get involved on campus. They're not going to have good extracurriculars for law school or anything else that they want to do. That's what they want to do.

Bri needs to join the Acapella group. Yeah.

A little something, a little intramural league.

One night in college, I went to... There was a couple of Acapella groups within NYU, obviously.

Are they going to join a sorority?

Yeah, because we're supposed to think they're cool, right?

Yeah.

But no, it's the end of sophomore- It's the middle of sophomore year.

Even a school that has late rushing, like Colgate did, we didn't rush till sophomore year, which is really late. They would have been rushing already. They're definitely not. So they've decided not to.

And then why- They're this insular group of freaks.

What was also a plot hole was that I always assumed Wrigley and Steven lived in a frad house because they're seniors. They share a big room.

The rooms are confusing. Everybody's room is different. Evan lives off property, right?

He has an apartment downtown because he's wealthy. But Wrigley and Steven live on campus as seniors in a dorm. When everything happened with Drew, I was like, Wait, that's the outside of their building?

That's a good point. Yeah.

I thought they lived in the same house as Leo, and she was just going from upstairs to downstairs. Where did Leo live? I thought Leo lived in the house, but now in thinking about his room, it must be a dorm room.

I never thought it was a fraternity.

I thought it was a fraternity house because usually juniors and some seniors live in the frat house.

And they had bathrooms in their rooms, which is not a dorm thing. Right. Yeah. No, it's a plot hole, the lack of Greek life.

No, but they are in some fraternity because they have parties in a house. Oh, yeah. It's always the same house. And Leo, Steven, Wrigley, and Evan.

And all those boys couldn't be going if they weren't in the fraternity.

Right. But how did Chris, a freshman boy, get into that party?

That's a really good point. So that's- If you know the rules of parties in Greek life in College, which I don't really, then this show has a plot hole.

And the only reason why I'm harping on it is because Carola did not miss the detail in anything regarding liberal art school. Unless there's no Greek life period.

It's so accurate.

Unless there's no Greek life and they're just, I don't know, partying in the student center.

Well, that sounds fun.

But then why are they always in the one place? Why don't they go to different places?

Well, when they go to those parties, is it the same house every time?

Yeah, it's always the same drinks.

Yeah, and same decoration.

Yeah, and who's putting up those decorations, if not members of the- The committee.

Yeah, totally. Totally. The decor committee of the fraternity. The beautification committee.

Are you ready for our fit the final story, which is a little Broadway news?

Broadway?

What's going on in the Great White Way, you ask? I don't know. What is? Dirty Dancing is set to become a Broadway musical in 2025.

Is the movie a musical? No. It's just a movie where they dance.

There's a movie with dancing. So Lion's Gate wants theatergoers to have the time of their lives. So the studio is adapting Dirty Dancing as a Broadway musical. It will launch in late 2025 with aspirations for Broadway as well as a North American run.

Do you remember that reality show about...

Tyler Cameron?

Yeah, about reality stars and dancing.

Dirty dancing with the Reality Stars. Yeah, right. Dirty dancing with the stars.

I just feel like they really didn't need to do that. I almost wish that they didn't.

I wish you didn't remind me because I would have forgotten.

It was the first thing that came to mind, truly.

That's so crazy.

I know.

My first thing that came to mind is this is really exciting for someone who's going to get this role.

Yeah. Dirty dancing for me is a little bit before my time, so I don't have the respect and obsession that I know a lot of people three years older than me do. I've seen it. I didn't love it, and I honestly don't think that guy's hot. Sorry, Patrick. For me, this does nothing. But I think for people, it does a lot. Do you care about dirty dancing? We also didn't grow up in a dirty dancing house. I feel like you either did or you didn't.

Yeah. And honestly, it is a few years before our time. Right.

And they were at a camp?

They were in the cat skills, which is just what we associate with camp, and it was summer. But I don't know that they were at a camp.

Were they supposed to be Jewish?

The cat skills are very Jewish.

The only people who spend the summer in the cat skills are Jews.

The 1987 film star Jennifer Gray as Francis Baby Hausman. It's getting Jewish.

Jennifer gray is Jewish.

A young woman who falls in love with a dance instructor, Johnny Castle, at a resort.

He was just a dance instructor. He doesn't necessarily need to be Jewish because he was traveling there for the summer.

It was at a resort in New York's Katzkills during summer, 1963.

I'm sorry. It's literally Maisel. If you guys ever watch Maisel, the Katzkills used to be a Hamptons type of place for Jewish people. So maybe I'll give it another chance. I don't know. It's so famous and it's so quotable. You are going to catch me saying nobody puts baby in a corner, even though I have literally no idea what they're talking about.

But she is baby.

Which is also weird.

I agree.

That's your name? But her name is Frances. And Jennifer. I don't get it.

And Baby.

Yeah. So who's doing the music?

I don't know. For this musical. I don't know. But the woman who wrote the scream play will direct the reenvisioned production.

Is it Broadway or off-Broadway?

It's meant to be on Broadway. All right.

I feel like these days, Broadway, it's really only revivals and redos and mean girls, School of Rock. Matilda. It's just shit that already exists being made into musical form. Now, I'm not upset because they're doing that with the greatest showman, but what happened to Original Musicals? I think that's why Nicole Sure-Zingers is getting so much.

I do think when there is a really good original musical, it takes It's massive. Book of Norman.

Hamilton.

And Wicked. So they come around once in a while because before that, it was like, Lion King on Broadway. It's like, it's- It's like, it's-Cindarella. The usual suspects. Yeah. You're Evan Hansen. Cultural shift.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cultural shift.

So that's why they're not a dime a dozen.

What was the last probably show you saw?

A Dime, a Dozen. Oh, I feel like I should be able to answer this. I know I saw Dear Evan Hansen in 2018. Did I see anything after that? Probably not. Maybe not.

I actually recently saw N Juliet, where Charlie Emilio was starring in. Yeah. Yeah, it was good.

Cool.

Kind of a patron of the arts.

You are.

Yeah.

Are you ready for Queeny and Weeny?

Well, for the first time, maybe ever in my life, now I'm having deja vu. Maybe I did say this last week. I have a queenie, and I don't have a weeny.

No, you didn't say that last week, I don't think.

Maybe you did. Maybe I did. Okay, my queenie. Well, I wanted to make my queeny tell me lies in general, Because it was such a fun... I feel like we haven't all watched the season finale of something since Game of Thrones. It was really fun to watch something that everyone was talking about, a scripted show nonetheless, but it was a little general. I went a little bit more specific, and I went with Diana.

I love the fictional Diana.

Fictional Diana from the show. It was nice to see one person making good decisions and caring about their fucking future in the show. Respect, queen, and she just cruised out of there in the Bentley, obsessed.

She is the queen of the week. My queen of the week were the Tell Me, Realize showrunners because the way that they have translated this book to show is actually harder than anything than just writing a separate show. It's so amazing. It's not only fun to watch something that everyone's watching, but that it's so quality. I feel like for so long, we're like, maybe it's just not possible to make good... Maybe we've seen it all, and you can't pull one over on us, and we're sick of everything. But this is so quality. It's so good, and they've just done an amazing job with it. And for that, they are my queenies.

Yeah, I am in agreement. It's really just been so fun. I I'm going to miss it. I'm going to miss it. Yeah. Now, your Weenie of the Week?

I was between two, a rock and a hard place.

It's so me. You have two weanies.

But my weanie of the week, and it's crazy because it was probably in another universe could have been queenie, but it just didn't achieve that. And because it wasn't Queenie-like- Victoria's Secret. Because it wasn't Queenie-like, it was Weenie-like, and that was the Victoria's Secret fashion show. And I will say, to the marketers and the ideators, the girls are beautiful, and they are who and what they are. But the fact that the show stood for absolutely nothing, and it was a hot mess. Weenie.

When I was ideating for Weenie and Queenie, Victoria's Secret did cross my desk as Weenie. I feel this odd attachment to it from my childhood. I couldn't make it Weenie. You can't turn on it. No, I have. When I gave People were like, I'm so confused. Do Claudia and Jackie like Victoria's Secret Fashion. You're like, I don't know.

I don't know either. I can't say that I liked it. I didn't love it. I didn't hate it. And that's the problem. That's wherein lies the weeniedom.

Therein lies the issue. Friends don't try to trick you. Jacks, describe in three words how you're feeling for Taylor Swift tonight.

Who's your weenie?

I told you I didn't have one.

Oh, and you sat with that.

Yeah, and I said you had two and I had none. Is it opposite day?

Well, you know who I always want to make my weaning, and I feel like this week I really can.

Who?

Seignoir.

Yeah, but again, I am against it because it- Because then it just makes Queenie and Weenie then every week it has to be- Katie Perrier is not the same as Yaya Seignoir. It's not right.

Of course. But Him throwing that stick at the end. I'm obsessed. Absolute weaning.

That actually is a definition of weaning behavior. You're literally like, you don't even have a hand. Stop.

He can't give it up.

Yeah, okay. Maybe my weaning is the stick. I like that.

How am I feeling for Taylor? Yeah.

Honestly, overwhelmed. It's a lot, by the way.

Anxious.

Yeah, that's so fair. Nervous. Yeah, no, these are all fair feelings.

We are going on a quest this evening. A road trip. We have a big night ahead of us. I know that I'm going to have fun, but until I'm in the seats- Sat in the seats. And it's all happening around me, it's just a lot.

No, and I want to tell you because Brian had said this to me when he first started going to our store. It seems very much familiar, but a little bit of an outsider. He said the first thing he thought, and I think you're going to have this experience, too, was like, he was actually in pain, like his ears, like the screaming. I actually think we should pick up some earplugs.

When I picked up at the airport yesterday, there was a jar of earplugs. I should have picked one. I didn't even think about it.

From CVS, I don't think it would hurt for you to have, honestly. It is jarring, the screams. This is the first one back in a while.

How are our seats? They're good. Are they great?

We bought them so long ago. I don't even know where we are. Actually, I'm I'm in possession of the seats. Our third, Margot is. I know that they're good, but I remember- Really good, but are they great?

I don't know.

I remember when we were buying, we were like, oh, my God, they kept disappearing. I think they're good. I I think they're good, objectively. But are you going to see the sweat on her forehead? No.

Forehead. I don't need to see the sweat, but I just I want to see it.

Yeah. You're going with two people who have been many times. We took our expertise and we applied that knowledge while we were buying the tickets.

It was practical application of policy? It was practical application of policy.

Yes.

Okay. Well, yeah. I'm excited to give you guys my review on Monday.

We will have much to discuss on Monday.

And Terni will still be here on Monday. Probably. So we'll be together in studio. Video two, YouTube's release.

Yeah. Apologies for the audio extravaganza. It just needed to happen. We're in conservation mode.

We are in conservation mode.

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