Transcript of Eras Tour (Jackie's Version): Monday, October 21st, 2024

Good morning, millennials. And welcome back to The Toast. And happy Monday that truly feels like a Monday because we have things in which to complete.

To complete, to discuss. We had a very long and vibrant weekend, which is so pargylicious. However, the Monday that follows is the opposite of Pardjilicious.

It's cause and effect. You can't have one without the other. Call of a Homer. We have a busy day today. Bruno's vomiting on the chair. Is he okay?

Brewy Louie, what did you get?

You got mother's love. We have so much to get into today. We do. Obviously, after a weekend- So let's keep talking about how much. Yeah, instead of actually talking about the things, why don't we just talk about how many things there are? Yeah. Well, there are so many things. There are things in which to discuss, of course, the stories. But Jack and I went to the Ares tour. Now, for me, that's obviously not a big deal. I'm a regular.

This is like another Friday night for you.

I'm a regular. But after literally six years and not one single spoiler, Jackie O'Sher finally went to the Ares tour.

I did. So where would you like me to place my recap? Because our first story today is Ares Tour Miami recap at a glance, because she did do other shows that we weren't at and other things happened.

I think we should just do it at the top of the show. People are really done. I'm literally getting tagged in TikToks being like, I cannot wait to hear Jackie's thoughts.

Do you want to talk about the other things that we have to do today? Because you teased all this stuff.

No, I really was talking about the one thing.

Actually, there are some other things we need to do today. The Aera's Tour recap, the Fast Five Stories. We watched a movie together this weekend.

Oh, I don't even want to call it a movie because it's disgraceful to other films.

There is a movie that I've been seeing around that's slowly gotten a cult following. I think it's getting a sequel. I think we might have even talked about it on the toast by a director who's doing The Housemaid. I was like, Everything about this movie, it seems like I would love it. It's based on a book. We watched A Simple Favor.

It's also a famous... There's a lot of lore around it because apparently, Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick fucking hated each other. They had the worst experience together, two divas. And there's a lot of Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick, rumors that started from that movie. So it's just important that we saw it for research purposes?

The movie was the craziest thing we ever saw in a bad way. It was such a bad movie that maybe that's what makes it good. It wasn't a real movie.

By the way, I'm now worried about The Housemaid, first of all, because I don't know who to blame most for the movie. Because whoever wrote the script is definitely on my list. But she was Blake Lively. The only person, honestly, not on my list was Anna She did a really good job, but the director is definitely on my list. And so knowing that he's going to have a hand in The Housemade, that definitely gives me a plus for concern.

I think it's a similar... I'm sure if I read a simple favor, I would have liked it because it was probably a good thriller with a twist. The house made the same, and maybe he has a way of ruining readers. Now, we're not here to recap A Simple Favor before the hour is tour.

No, but it's important for you to know we are two girls sitting here who have seen the movie A Simple Favor. Let me just say this about A Simple Favor. I've never seen a movie where they had to, so many times, intentionally intentionally say the title of the movie in the script. Hey, Anna Kendrick, I need a favor. A simple favor. It's like, okay, we get it. The movie is called A Simple Favor. She said it four times. It was really awful. I cannot recommend enough running the Other Way. Ben Soffer. I was watching the movie actually getting physically angry. Yeah. But that was really pissing me off.

I was just really confused. I really wanted it to be good. And then when it wasn't, I was like, maybe it's not good on purpose to really throw us off. But it just turned out to be a whole steaming pile of shit.

But Jackie thought at first they were playing a trick on us with how bad the movie was.

Yeah, I really, really did.

So that was another thing. That was a post-Eres tour recovery night. Oh, my gosh. We decided to stay in and watch a film.

Okay, so Eres tour. I guess herein lies my recap.

Herein lies the recap.

We went Hard Rock Stadium, Miami, Florida. It's one hell of a drug.

Friday night, night one of three for Taylor.

We went with our friend Margot Louin, not to be confused with our sister. We had a really party evening. It was-We planned it really well. We did plan it really well. We were very time-oriented. I got to see Gracey a little bit of Gracey Abrams.

Yeah, she was actually really good. I didn't care to be there for her. I actually like a lot of her music, but not enough to get there two hours early.

I was happy that she was our opener not like Phoebe Waller Bridges.

Phoebe Waller Bridges, yeah.

It was someone who I've been enjoying, so that was cool.

It was someone who was so happy to be there and having so much fun. Yeah. She's literally gargy.

Gargy. Licious. Then the Laird came out.

The Laird did come out 8:00 on the dot, very timely.

8:00 on the dot, put on a three and a half hour show. We didn't even stay for the whole thing because I think the whole time we were really worried about the crowds and getting home and walking to the lot. So we left at the end of surprise songs. We always said we would leave a few songs early, but the night was just getting so long and your girls are grandmas. Well, that's the thing. I don't know if I'm just a true grandma, but it was a very long show.

You are a true grandma, but let me say this. Now, this is my fourth time going to the Aris tour. Like I said, the last couple of times I went, I was 28. I'm 30 now, and I definitely felt it. I was at points, really not okay. It's also hot.

That was, I think, the first-I thought the weather was amazing. And it was raining, by the way. It was raining, but Where our seats were, there was an overhang at Hard Rock Stadium. Shout out, Miami's got it all figured out for this release.

We didn't even know it was raining. And then we look at the screen.

We just see on the screen there's rain. But maybe I got a drop here or there. It was actually a nice reprieve. Yeah.

It was the first time I really it in my body. I was like, wow, I'm old. And I'm one of those people.

Okay, I'm older.

I know pretty much every song, so I'm not taking major breaks. I think there are some people who aren't into Evermore, and they sit for that section, so they get to refuel, or they go to the bathroom and get a snack. There really is no timeouts. There's no breaks for True Swift. I obviously kept thinking, I'm not even doing anything. I'm sitting here being a spectator. I can only imagine the person who's actually doing all the work, how she's feeling inside, and then having to do it three nights in a row. But this was the It was the first time that I've been that I seriously was like, Oh, my God, I can't take it. My body was seriously not okay.

Yeah, so that was really shocking. And the next day, we were like all... It was like a narcoleptic household. It was like we were all hung over. Falling asleep.

Everyone throughout the day was napping on the couch.

It was just like a hungover day. Even though we did not drink.

We did not have drink. We could not have drink. No, it was just because we had to drive and it extended the whole... During the hour, hour and a half ride there, it extended it. We really were being very mindful of our energy levels and just overall wellness.

Yeah, we were conservationists.

And we didn't want to go to the bathroom. That was another thing. We were really just being like, we had really healthy meals on the way there. We had Caesar wraps. We were trying to really, seriously fueling up for a triathlon. Yeah.

No, that is what it was. So the show itself was really so beautiful. I mean, Taylor really puts on a Jolly Good show.

And to be clear, you have seriously seen nothing.

No, I mean, I've seen when you went, I've seen vignettes, but there were a bunch of stuff that are clear, big parts of the show that I hadn't seen.

During so high school, when Taylor did her archer thing, that Travis's move when he makes a countdown, Taylor does that now. Jackie pinched me so hard. I was like, what? Because I knew it.

I know, but I think I've seen a video of her do that, but I thought maybe she did it just one time. And then she's, by the way, right before that, you guys, I feel like sometimes the Easter eggs are right in front of our face and nobody's looking at them. But right before that, she's saying, I'm having this baby, Archer. I think they're welcoming a baby via surget.

That was the Easter egg that Jackie took away from that restore.

Yeah, there were a lot of Easter eggs in our show, which we'll get to also in the first story recap, the rep changing, whatever. Overall, the show is a feat, really. It's the greatest show on Earth right now. No one's doing anything like it.

It's the greatest show on Earth.

Nobody's working harder than the Lord. However, I want to go era by era because not all eras were the same for me. The way I felt about certain eras actually surprised me and wouldn't have what I thought I would feel.

Yes, it was interesting to see it through Jackie's eyes and really, it reminded me of the first time that I saw where you're so surprised that, A, some eras are so long, some are so short. It's really surprised at the song selection and then the total lack of debut. That's something people were talking about three years ago, but let's talk about it now.

I did not need debut. What's funny is, as a Swiftie, I think I love Taylor. I always listen to whatever new album I know. The thing is, I know every lyrics to every song that she sang. I probably loved her music the most, even though you guys know I love it so much now, but I probably loved it the most in the fearless, speak now eras. Those songs raise me. You belong with me. It literally is in my DNA. That was, I think, one of the best- It's in me at a cellular level.

That was, I think, one of the best songs to experience with you. That song is so Ashray Family Coded. Yes.

However, those early eras were actually my least favorite.

Oh, that's so interesting. Of the tour, you mean?

Of the tour. I'm going to put Lover in there, too. Because, and then this is also, I guess, a small issue that I We always say how her singles are not even close to the favorite songs on the album, but it doesn't matter. You listen to the album, listen to what you want. Okay, so we didn't get a music video.

No, but her most popular songs are not, in my opinion, her best songs.

No, but she chooses what's going to be most popular because she makes them singles, which never really bothered me because I'll just listen to what I want to listen to, and I didn't get a music video, and she's not performing at the VMAs. Okay, I'll live. However, it affected the Eres tour because those were the songs that she was singing to represent the Eres.

Yeah, especially Red.

Red, yeah. The fact that we don't get State of Grace or Holy Ground, we did not get Starlight after Instead, we got like, Trouble, 22.

We are never getting back together.

Not my favorites. It also affected me during Lover because I feel like we always talk about how Lover is so underrated. But the songs that we love, like Paper Rings, Cornelius Street, she doesn't sing. Instead, she sings the Man and You need to Calm Down, which are two insufferable songs. I'm glad she sang Missing Mara and the Heartbake Prince.

Yeah, Cruel Summer.

And Cruel Summer. Those were the strong ones out of Lover. She sang Lover, which I like, but is not... A favorite. Not an absolute favorite.

No, that's the thing when you're on a tour of this magnitude, you can't really be choosing the setlist for your diehard fans. It's really to appeal to the masses because it's 100,000 people.

No, but it would be weird also if she was doing an era and didn't sing the lead single off the era. Just because we all personally... We all have different faves, so she's singing the singles from those albums, and that makes sense, but it's like, Oh, those weren't my favorites, and I actually didn't get my favorites.

Yeah.

That was something I had to contend with and not something I I foresaw being an issue. I feel like when you asked me what surprise songs I wanted to hear, I couldn't even answer you because I just thought she played every song. But now I know exactly what songs I didn't get to hear that I wanted to hear.

Which was?

Like Holy Ground, State of Grace.

I did hear Holy Ground, Night 2 of My Life.

Yeah, I know. Then also, we have to talk about our surprise songs. What surprised me was that the erras that I liked the most aren't even the albums necessary that I like the most, but I just love the energy that she brought to them. So Reputation- Favorite erras. Reputation was probably my favorite era.

I agree. I also think, and you said this during the show, which was such a poignant analysis, is it's really the most performance friendly album. She's really giving it her all in terms of vocals, dancing. It's the most... And you're coming off of all the folklore Evermore era, and it's just so upbeat. It's so good.

Yeah, and the emotions and reputation are so real and raw that you can really feel it.

She's still mad.

It's just so genuine, and also the beats in it, And I feel like Look What You Made Me Do is actually such a good song that I missed out on enjoying when it first came out. But later in life, after I did a reputation-themed SoulCycle class, I really understood how great it is.

I had the same exact experience where up until I saw-I just fucking love that song. The Eres tour, I thought Look What You Made Me Do was an actual bad song. And then seeing it live, you're like, holy shit. It's so good. I agree. The Reputation era, and you know I'm actually not a Reputation Girl. I think the Reputation Era is sublime.

It plays so well. It's so strong. It has such a distinct point of view, and I loved that. And then I also really loved TTPD because, again, I felt like the emotions, even when she's literally losing her mind, screaming who's afraid of little old me, I'm there.

I'm in it. I completely agree. That was my first time seeing TTPD. It was longer than I expected because you really realized she put out this big... She's not going to do a TTPD tour. This is really it. So it got a full... I would say it was probably one of the longer ones. A couple of songs I don't think she needed to play, Down Bad, but people love Down Bad. That's so crazy to me. I know. It's so crazy to me, too. But I love that she did Who's Afraid of Little O'Me, But Daddy, I love him. So high school.

And I could do it with a broken heart. Exactly. Those four are necessary.

I loved, loved, loved that set. And I actually, inspired by you, I tried not to watch so many TTPD videos. I wanted to just enjoy it like, fresh. So I really did not know what to expect, and I thought it was excellent. And I thought the song choices were probably the best of all the eras. I think that she did a good job.

Oh, and she did Fortnite, and she did Florida. She did Florida. And I wonder if everyone's going to get Florida because we had Florence, and the other nights had Florence, too. Or did we just get Florida because we're in Florida and you have to sing Florida?

But it's such a good song to sing live. It's so underrated. I think we all pretty much felt Florence in the building, and it was still so exciting to see I love that song, and that felt really special.

It did feel really special. And enjoying the TTD set so much, which felt more like its own concert, made me actually get excited for whatever's next for Taylor that's not Ares, because you keep saying, How is she ever going to end Ares? It actually made me excited for a day when we get a concert that's focused on a singular album, what we should have gotten, but we didn't because of COVID. No, even a Folklor Evermore concert would have been such a pargy vibe.

Yeah, good experience.

So it made me excited for the future because that chunk felt like just a standalone concert, and it was so strong, to be in one cohesive era.

Yes, I agree. I happen to have loved the... I love TTPD, so I felt like she really did it justice in that moment.

I felt so as well. Then my probably alt... I always I have so many favorite albums. Even I just said it was Fearless, and it's also read, but it's also 1989. It's also Reputation.

1989 is a bop factory.

It is. It's so, so good. And I've had a recent renaissance with Shake It Off. Of course, it came out, and I thought it was like, Why is this the lead single? And then I saw a video of it at Erras when the VIP tent was popping off on that. And then it's come up a few times. It's played in the car because it's actually a really good kid song. I think they cover it in sing. And I just I have fallen in love with the song again. And that was such a highlight. All of the 1989 songs are just so fun.

You guys, Jackie was seriously being Prince William at- Someone commented that on Claudia's TikTok, and that is a fair assessment. No, but it was so sweet. You You, and actually no shade to anyone. I did use Shake It Off as a break song. I did take a seat. I was really tired. We had two completely different experiences during Shake It Off. Jackie's losing her mind. Pure joy, and I'm seriously heavy breathing.

I mean, that's so fair. Us during Folklor and Evermore. During Folklor and Evermore. Which I love them as albums, but I did use it as a time to sit. My boots were made of crap. I might have been walking on actual cardboard.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We were broken.

I had such a different experience going with you. I don't know if it had to do with you or the fact that the show has changed so much. The order is completely different. So many songs got cut. She also did this thing where instead of cutting some songs, she really shortened them where she just skipped over the second verse, which I actually thought was a smart idea.

Yeah, she did first verse, chorus, bridge, chorus. Yeah.

Which I enjoyed. Some of my faves did get cut, which was disappointing. Like? The Archer.

I would have liked that.

And it was one of the best parts of the Lover era. I really, I enjoyed it a lot. But I had such a different high. Certain songs stick out to you randomly that you enjoy so much. And for me, You belong with Me. I seriously was having the time of my life. It was so good. For me, the Fearless era is my favorite. I wish it was longer. Same with Speak Now.

Speak Now is now one song, Enchanted.One song.

Yeah, I don't know why she cut out Long Live. I've never seen Long Live. I've seen the show four times.

Why won't she perform Long Live? What's the beef?

At first, it was that Speak Now Taylor's version hadn't come out. But the second it did, she added it to the setlist.

I just want to say her not playing Long Live backs up my theory that the song is about Joe Jonas.

Wow, not about the fans.

Right. You know that I think it's about the time that she sang with the Jonas Brothers, and it's like, We were the Kings and the Queens. And now that Joe has been so disgraced and all this stuff, he was not a good-Out of loyalty to-I think that's-That's honestly not a bad call. It's a good theory as Henny because otherwise-It doesn't make sense because the Eras Tour is a celebration of her and her fans and her music.

That song, we thought, is also-For her to get all dressed for the era to only play one song also doesn't make sense. No, it makes no sense. I'm offended by the skipping, the erasure of Speak Now and Fearless. The erasure.

I would have wanted Dear John.

I know I'll never get it. No, you'll never. But for Fearless, she does Fearless, You belong with me and love story. It's not enough. We need forever and always.

We do. And that's the way you loved me. Is that fearless?

That is fearless.

We needed that. That's the way I love it. But then again, it's like, those early errors didn't hit for me as much as the later ones. So maybe I didn't need more of that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Red was really good. I didn't expect to be so moved by the hat to the child.

No, by the way, I could have seen you being obsessed with that. And that's really what we were looking around. It was just so cute.

No, you couldn't cry. The girls, I can't even talk about it. It was so sweet and so precious and so joyous and positive.

Her doing that, it's her doing the hat to a little girl or a little kid. A little girl. It's so emblematic, if you will, of the whole experience. There were so many little girls there just like, Stan. You don't actually want to talk about that. Tell me, I didn't say anything. I did not say anything.

How could you? You can't say anything, but we could talk about it on the show.

There was a daughter and mom in front of me. The daughter, how old do you think she was? Nine or 10? She wasn't tiny.

I'm not good. Me neither. Actually, maybe younger.

Okay, but she was tall. She was at least Eight.

I'm saying eight.

I think eight is fair. The eight-year-old girl stood on her chair the entire time.

Right in front of me.

Right in front of me. By the way, I'm not super tall.

Which made her taller than her mother then. Then she was like a basketball player.

Of course, but if she's on the floor, she can't see anything. But that's literally not my problem. What am I going to be, a big grown-ass woman yelling at a kid at the arrest her. But I was just like, This is wrong. But is it? I don't know what the right... I think she could have taken breaks from standing, but it was the entire time. I did not say anything, but I did want to bring it up on the show. It's just a question mark.

She's not the only eight-year-old there. So what were the other kids doing? Do the kids just stand on the chair the whole time?

But I think if you're young enough and small enough to stand on the chair and be the same height or shorter than your mom, I'm not offended. But if you're beaming over your mom-And all of a sudden, you're like Amari Stoudmire. Scream. It was really annoying. But I didn't say anything. I just was bobbing and weaving around her. But yes, not to make it positive or negative. The little kids were so sweet. And that moment is just so So pure. That's the real essence of the fandom and Taylor. I think she knows her influence always on young girls, and I loved it.

Yeah, that was really cute, the energy. What other eras have we not discussed?

You didn't get into your thoughts on a surprise song because I know you were deeply unhappy with them.

I was robbed of my joy. No, so at first- It's so personal. She starts playing a tune, and I'm like, I know whatever it is. I know it. And it's Tim McGra. If you tried to gage my opinion, that Tim McGra would be your surprise, I'm not going to be like, Uh. But considering I knew it and I was excited to hear a song I knew, great, because then she mashed up into Timeless, which is a vault track that I don't know.

Yeah, I was surprised you didn't know that. That one is a big hit. That was a good get.

You know that I'm not super into vault tracks unless they're from 1989.

I do know that about you.

It's a fun fact. I look so forward to Reputation vault tracks. Me too. But Valtrack's pre-frontal lobe, I don't really- You don't fuck with.

I understand that. That's fair.

She played Timeless, which sounded like a party song. I just couldn't get involved. Then She played, This is me trying, from... It's X. What did she mash it with?

What did she bash it with?

It's on my story if I need to go look.

Yeah. By the way, that's the thing. I was hoping we weren't going to get a mashup, but we did.

We got two. But you know what? Considering you could get screwed, I was glad it increased our odds.

It's true, by the way. Instead of two songs, you're really getting four.

Oh, This is me trying X, Daylight, which is a song that I love.

Yeah, Daylight. I wouldn't say we got... It It's so personal, by the way.

I'm sorry. The other night got Lommel, X Whitehorse, which I texted you when TTPD came out, and I said, Do people say Lommel sounds like Whitehorse? And they got it.

Yeah, it's not right.

They got it. Well, it's so personal. And I got Timeless.

I think that some people would hear this and be like, I can't believe you got those songs. Those are my dream songs. I mean, everyone knows Met Life, Night One, we won. If there ever was a time- What was it? It was full songs. So it was just two songs, and it was Getaway Car and Maroon. We won.

Maroon is not for me. Here's songs that I would have liked to hear. Snow on the Beach. The Great War.

Love.

Biger than the whole sky, which I know is a lot to sing.

Some people did think that she was going to sing that. It's one of her songs about grief and death, and perhaps she would do it as a nod to Liam Payne. So there was theories that that was going to- There was space for that. There was space for that. Goldrush. Agreed.

Holy Ground. State of Grace.

State of Grace? It seriously means the world to me. And you know, at the top of the red era, they tease it.

Yeah, and then that's the state of grace. That's all we got. That's all we got. She opens a trunk and it plays, and it's so fucking good.

We didn't talk about ATW, TMD.

What about... Atw TMV was the highlight of the show. Agreed. She could go on a tour called ATW TMV and play it 30 times and do a three-hour show of ATW TMV, and that would be enough for me dying you.

I completely agree. It was pargy.

It's so fucking good. The song is not long enough.

The It's a good song. It's not long enough.

It's such a good song.

I love that there's no one else on stage, no drama. I don't even think that there's graphics. It's just her, and she's lifted in this big red coat, and they throw confetti that looks like leaves during the fall scenes, and then confetti that looks like snow during the winter scenes.

No notes. It was snow on the beach.

Correct.

No notes. That was... And that really makes the red era one of the best arrows because we have that. Agreed.

It was really... And she moved it up. When I first thought it, it much later in the show, but I think it's so good for morale.

Yeah. It is good for morale. And then I guess the only thing else that we didn't talk about is ever more folklore, really.

Which was majorly condensed and really made into one. They used to be completely separate eras. They're made into one.

As they should be. It's like a similar vibe.

But only people who don't understand the album say that.

They're sisters. That's like, you and I should be one.

No, we shouldn't. We're individuals.

We are Evermore in folklore in Snitches Woodville.

Totally.

I love Evermore and Folklor, but it was more of a relaxation part for me.

Did you think there were any songs in that era that particularly hit? What did you think about My Tears, Ricochet? Because it's lauded as one of the most best part of that era. When she's walking down with the funeral girl who's behind her.

Oh, yeah. I wasn't looking at the lore as closely as everyone. I couldn't even tell you they were walking down with the funeral. You know what I mean? And whose funeral is it?

Scooter? Scott.

Scott, sure. For I'm just like, My tears ricochet. Yeah, and then she played Kurdigan.

She played Kerdigan. She played an abridged version of Betty, The Last Great American dynasty, Got the Boot.Not fair to me.Agrued.I love that song.Not fair to everyone, to human beings.I love that song. It's What's Not To Love.

More than standing in your cardigan, even though that's not cardigan. It's Betty. Even though it's not cardigan.

She kept august in there.

The girl loves the cardigan as much as I do. So true. On that, we can relate. A hundred %. She kept august, whichever one was excited about.

Yeah, that's a big hit. No, it was really like par-jolicious.

Par-jolicious. Then right after the last surprise song, we left to hit the road early and beat the traffic. And we went through the Midnight Setlist, which were all songs that, and I I love Midnight, but I'm more than you, arguably.

Yeah, no, I am having a Midnight's Renaissance.

But the songs that she sings, and we could hear them as we were walking away. I was like, okay with the decision. The only song I would have really liked to hear was Masterpiece. Mastermind. She loves it more than me. Masterpiece by Jessie J. But it was worth getting home in a reasonable hour.

Right. Midnights is really for the mainstream fans. Like, bejouled, karma, anti-hero. No, give us, Dear Reader.

Give us, dear reader.

And I had seen it many times. And by the way, I heard people were stuck there for two and a half hours trying to get out of the parking lot. So I have no regurts about what we did. Yeah.

So me neither. That was the Ares tour.

Jackie's version.

Jackie's This version. Cut title. We had a fun swirly night out. It's a great night out for the girls.

It is for the kids. I don't know how them kids were up till midnight. I don't know. Oh, to be young. To be young.

You were such grandma.

We were being particularly Granny Smith about it, but we had to conserve.

It was an endeavor.

No, and Jackie had to wake up and be a mom. At least I was literally lying in bed all day.

It was a very difficult Saturday.

Yeah, it was. We left early, too.

I really felt it. Then we were maybe going to go out to dinner Saturday night, but I was like, I can't have a Sunday like my Saturday was.

Yeah, no, we seriously were like teenagers the next day, sleeping all throughout the day in different parts of the house.

Everyone taking breaks. It was just...

It was crazy.

It was crazy. But then we had a pargy Sunday because we conserved on Saturday. We had a big taco dinner on Saturday night. I made a turdy of pie.

She made me a pie. I've been eating so good, you guys. Don't worry about me. You could probably tell I'm hiding under this blanket. I'm huge. Same. I'm literally huge, but I'm so happy.

It's fine. Well, I just have to cater to turdy.

Yeah, no. She's being catered, too. She's having meals from scratch. She's really enjoying herself. She is eating good in the neighborhood. Last night, we went out to dinner to a restaurant that had a kosher steak.

Oh, my God. We all went out for steak dinner last night.

You're seriously going to have to roll me back to New York. They're not going to recognize me when I show up.

No, same.

It's fine.

It's fine. It's October. Tis the season.

I'm just embracing my inner pumpkin.

Tis the season, as the lard says.

Oh, that got cut.

I would have liked Christmas tree farm.

Same. If there's any shows around the Christmas time, they'll probably get it.

That's so sick and twisted. But at least I got Florida. And there's a lot of Florida lore and TTPD for some reason. So like, Fortnite. Oh, my God. The way that the girls would scream every time Taylor breathed.

We didn't know if people were cheering for something that happened or something in their heads.

They started screaming at the beginning of Fortnite. You could tell something was happening.

We were asking everyone, What's going on? What's going on? Post Malone. We were like, Oh, sick. Post Malone's here. We kept looking for him.

Narrator.

The whole crowd literally played themselves into thinking it was us or dancer.

That happened a couple of times. Yes.

You get so crazy. It's really funny. You really psych yourself out. There's so much going on, and you're just clowning the entire time. It's really crazy.

It's true. Well, our first story is going to be other era's news, Miami version, not Jackie's version. So we will find opportunities to talk more about the lard.

Yeah, and if you have anything that you forgot. The lird and the lourd.

The lourd of the lard. And the turd in the lourd.

The turd in the lard. And the lourd.

And the lourd and the lourd. So now I think without further a did it, did it, do.

I mean, you tell me because this is your house. You make the rules.

This is our house. We make the rules. Without further a did it, did it, do. It is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know.

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Like, Girl, get your legacy box. It's embarrassing not to.Thank.

You, turd.You're welcome. Our first story is Aera's Miami recap, the VIPs, the changes to the set. But also, I just realized, what were last night's surprise songs?

I just saw them on Liz Wood's story. Do you want me to pull them up?

Yes, I do. I just need to know. I need to rub it in more to myself of what I didn't get. Not to be such a niche vagina.Wow, okay.

You're being a niche beginner like an ingrate.

I am, but I'm just like, I don't know. It didn't go my way.

Oh, this one was hard for me because they did Out of the Woods, X, All you had to do was stay. Then the second one was Marable. Okay. Exguility as sin.

That one doesn't do it for me. Okay, so Night 2 was the night.

Night 2.

Yeah. What was also with that night?

The first one. Lommel Whitehorse. And what was the first one? I just closed Instagram. Okay, let me open that. Sorry. Go to that page. Yeah, back to Liz Peawood's story, finding the page. Sparkle.

Sparkle Graphics.

Sparkle cookies. Ts TourTips. That's the page.

Ts Tourtips. Oh, also, what else is on there? Because I did want to know who was in the VIP tent all the nights.

Yes, there was two VIP tents.

There were a lot of celebrities there. Not all of them were in tents.

Night 2 was, Should have said no, X, I did something bad.

That's cute. I like that.

Night 1, we need to talk about the fact that Luke Holmes was at the Ares Tour.

Luke Holmes was at the Ares Tour, which is so crazy because obviously- Because Luke Holmes does a lot of things, but he is a husband.

I'm sure his wife was like, Listen, get me in the girly's tickets. You can come, you don't have to, but we'd love to have you. He was like, You know what? I can do that. Let me get it for my girl. Yeah.

He was sat there for three hours at the Ares tour. I need to know his thoughts.

My ass was looking for him. Our section was right behind the VIP tent. That's Taylor's VIP tent. That's where her parents and her family was. Then on the other side, parallel to where-Yeah. That's where the other celebrities were. Is that where Luke was? That's why we didn't see Luke.

Got it. Okay, so who else? And there was another... He went with Eric Church?

No. Darks Bentley.

Same thing?

Not at all, but yeah.

Darks Bentley was also there?

Yeah, Darks. You know his daughter or something's a toaster.

That is so funny.

Dave Portnoy was there.

The next night.

Oh, yeah. Night two.

And we need to talk about Dave Portnoy because he put out a video talking about his experience. Because apparently last week, he was posting online that he wanted to be that he was going to Ares and he wanted to be in the 10. No.

And in the podcast, they were like, You're such a big 50. But Taylor I've never even acknowledged you. What do you have to say about that?

And what did he say?

And I think he was just like, No. Then literally the next day, I guess he was welcomed into the VIP tent. So he knew he was going to be going.

He posted a video yesterday saying that he had the most amazing night at the Ares tour.

And he really just wanted to throw it in the faces of people who have doubted his Swiftie hood and also Taylor definitely hates you.

Taylor would never like you.

You're discussing scum. And he was like, Oh, well, really? Not only was I invited to the VIP tent, but her brother came up to me and gave me this note, and he showed us this handwritten note from Taylor that was basically like, So glad you're here. Thank you so much for all the support over the years. You're hilarious. Enjoy the show. Love Parsley. And then... Love Parsley. And then, wait, the brother was like, Wait, come to this tent. My mom wants to you. So obviously, they know who he is.

And they love him. Without knowing who he is, maybe Austin is a big stooly because they love him.

Or maybe Taylor is.

No, the thing is- Maybe Travis is.

Taylor loves, and by the way, same. Anyone who just fiercely, fiercely loves and defends her, like, blindly. Like, Spencer Pratt. Exactly. That is so relatable. Like, anybody who wants to be up my ass. Like, I love you. Yeah.

No, but I feel like one of them is a huge stooly. I'm going Austin.

I don't know a lot about Austin. That's the thing. He used to be really involved.

Didn't he play football? I don't know. I might have made that up.

He used to be really involved in the public life, and he decided a couple of years ago, this is not for me. I feel like he's a hermit. I never see him now. But remember when he was getting involved throwing his easy's in the trash? Do you remember that? Yeah. He doesn't play like that anymore.

I think he's the big stooly, and he was like, okay, even though I'm not in the mix as much, I'm going to use my sister's platform to my advantage. I don't want to meet my hero.

We didn't really talk about the fact I'm wearing a headband. It's your headband. What do you think about it?

It's so cute. It's from Jennifer Bayer, I think. Bayer.

I feel weird.

No, you look cute. I mean, it was weird with your outfit, but now that your outfit's covered, it doesn't matter.

She's so mean. She's literally the meanest girl I've ever met in my life. I hate you.

Even though you just said you look cute. And I said now that your outfit's covered, it doesn't matter.

You said you look cute even though you're a big turd. That's basically what you said. That lipstick that I had given you.

Anyways, also of note, Taylor's signature looks like the word Parsley.

Taylor's signature, yeah, that's what went He had shown everyone the handwritten note and her signature.

The way she wrote her name Taylor, it's- Parsley.

It looks like Parsley. Parsley. Every letter is perfectly spelled out. It was really crazy.

That's the funniest thing to me.

Yeah, a lot of interesting things were gleaned from that letter. What her personal stationery.

Yeah, it says from the desk of Taylor Swift on the bottom.

Songwriter and feline enthusiast. Yeah. Like cat lady.

Yeah. I got you stationery that says from the desk of turdy Lou. I did know that. I'm so Taylor coded. Oh, my God.

It's literally in my I was going to need to start writing stuff.

When someone comes to your show, have your brother bring a note.

Okay, I love that.

Isn't that cute? Yes. You could be of it to my neighbors at Jizno. Also, speaking of an amazing show in Florida at one of the Hard Rock properties, your girls are coming, and What's crazy is we met a lot of tosters at the Ares Tour who are obviously from the area. We're like, See you at Jizno in December. They're like, What do you mean? They didn't know.

Did we not do a good job of promoting it?

There were girls who were so excited to meet us who live in Florida, who did not know that we are performing at the Hard Rock Casino in Seminal Hollywood, Florida. There are so many names associated with the venue. Where the hell is it? It's Hard Rock Live, Seminal Hollywood, Florida.Gutar Hotel.Jizno.Jizno.Holiday.

Spectacular.december 8th.December eighth. We'll see you there. Tickets available at thetoastpodcast. Com/tour.

And tickets are still available. It's the biggest venue we've ever done. We are so excited. We're going to break the Guinness Book world record of most swirling ever in one place.

So, yeah, you don't want to miss it.

You don't. And it's the hotel that's shaped like a guitar. I'm sure you've seen it on the highway. We saw it.

We saw it on the way to the tour. We were excited. Yeah.

So hard rock. See you there. It's literally giving eras of Gizmo. Be there or be. I'm in my Gizmo era. I don't know about you. I don't know about you. It's not the same singing.

But my name is Churdy Lou.

That's true, but it's not the same singing, not remote.

I agree. Don't sing in my presence.

No, I feel weird.

Yeah, like something in me.

Why am I singing in the room with my sister.

In this tiny little room.

Stop, you can't think about it. You can't think about it.

If you think too hard about the fact that we are sitting in a room.

No, stop. It's giving legacy box. Stop. We're two 10-year-olds. It's metaphysical. I did just see a reel. Who posted it? Someone reposted it. Mary Orton, of course, because she's such a classy broad. I think it was audio of Aina Garten saying, What did you love doing when you were 10 years old? Find a way to make that your career, and you will live a very happy life. This is literally what we were doing.

So true. I I think if you were to ask 10-year-old me, this would be great. I would have loved to have been a singer, but I'll take this.

You're fine. You're warming your way into singing.

So true.

What else happened at Ares Miami? What other celebrities were in the tent? I saw a lot of notable people not in the tent, a lot of models.

Well, the Kelsies were there, but they were in a suite. Actually, really interesting. They were there the night that we were there. Or was it the second night? Whatever.

The night we were there.

Donna, Kylie, the kids, Jason. They were not in the VIP tent. I think it's a lot. You're like a caged animal in the VIP tent because it's on the floor. People can really just walk right up. It's a lot. I think with them, with the kids, they don't want to be over stimulated. I think they wanted the kids to have a nice place. They were in a suite and in a box. But I saw a lot of footage of Jason, Kylie, and the kids walking to their car afterwards, where we were walking. No. Yes. And they had a police officer or two escorting them.

They were in the black lot?

They didn't have a fancy... They were walking out of the stadium, literally the steps that we walked out of.

Isn't that weird? That is weird because there is a parking pass that gets you into the stadium.

Well, not only that. Any person can buy that. It's just expensive. If you're with Taylor, you get driven in.

You don't even go to the outside. No, and apparently, if you have a box, the parking pass comes with it, and they were in a box. It That is weird, I'm telling you. That is weird. Is that all for Hours Miami? I think so. Oh, and she changed her reputation bodysuit. She did.

So night one that we were there, Jackie was so confused by everyone was losing their minds. I was explaining that a lot of people thought maybe that reputation was going to be announced that night. So we were like- You know what I did? We were looking for clues. And when she came out... The entire tour has been so strange in the set. Well, not strange. It's been interesting that every single outfit that she has worn for every costume has changed a little bit. She's She's not in a new one. She's either changed it a lot, changed it a little bit, except the Reputation bodysuit. It's the only set where she doesn't change. She wears it the whole time. And since the first show, it's the same exact one. So everyone was like, Well, when she changes it, it means that reputation is coming. So we made up this in our heads, and then she changed it. So we were like, Oh, reputation is coming.

I feel like she didn't change it because the prior costume was perfect. And I think it was really easy to move around. And even for the 1989 era, she made the skirt shorter, people were saying. Maybe she saw it. I think The body suit was perfect. She could do her thing. It encapsulates the era. Maybe she got a new one just because Koumsa Fresh, but I don't think it signified anything other than she was really happy with that.

Well, she didn't announce anything, so maybe it meant nothing.

Right. And then the second night, she changed her Speak Now dress.

She changes her dresses all the time. No, but from night one to two?

Yeah.

You never know what outfit she's going to come out in. It's the same silhouette and the same idea, but different colors or different shapes.

There was a lot of green and orange for the dolphins.

Yes, for the dolphins.

We're dolphins proud. Fins up.

Yeah, that's the colors of the stadium.

Fins up. That's your Eros Recap, Miami. Where does she head next?

I don't know. I feel like Indianapolis is one of those. Cleveland. Classic. When she goes to Cleveland, it's going to be a big family affair.

I It better be.

If she is going to Cleveland, not me making that up.

Yeah.

But maybe.

Well, let's move on if we can. We'll try. Might keep going back. We might keep getting, yeah. Because actually, the rest of the stories later on are very tortuous. Jason? Yeah, it's about concerts. But our next story is not. Jennifer Lawrence is pregnant. She is expecting baby number two with her husband, Cooke Maroney.

She's so elegant.

I know. Jennifer Lawrence and her husband are expecting their second baby, sharing the news via Vogue Instagram post and article on Sunday. Congratulations are on order for Jennifer Lawrence, the Oscar-winning actor, will be welcoming her second child with art gallerist husband, Cooke Maroney. The magazine wrote in the caption of the post, adding that representatives for J-Law had confirmed the happy news to the outlet.

No, so chic. She doesn't have social media. Doing it on Vogue, so elegance. I forget about her, and I think that's good for her. She pops up, makes waves with her work, and then goes back to living a really, really private life. I feel like she has such a healthy work-life balance. The lack of social media, I just love this for her. I really do.

I do as well.

What's her first baby's name?

Cy, C-Y. I don't know if that's a nickname.

For Cyris.

Or for Cydia.

Or for cyclops.

Or Cider.

It's definitely short for Cider. That's a cute name.

Yeah.

Well, I love her. Now that she's been paparazzi since this came out with her belly out, she loves a belly out moment.

Yeah. No, she looks great.

Is it part of our Robin still pregnant? I feel like we haven't heard about her in a while.

I think she's still pregnant. They'll tap each other out, and then she can get the roles while she's on leave. Then the cycle begins. That's beautiful. Yeah, it is beautiful. It is. Mazel tov, if that's all there is to say.

Mazel tov, I'm really happy for her.

I love that for her and her growing family. It's funny when someone who's so cool and off the beaten path is actually quite traditional. Yes. Married, one baby, two baby.

She lives in New York, right? Yeah. That also makes her cool. Yeah. Because nobody She does. Live in New York? Yeah. If you're so... That level, you always live in LA. But she's just so chill. So chill. She goes to the grocery store.

Pertench.

Pertench. I actually saw TikTok. Somebody was saying, who do you think is a person? We're always talking about, the perfect level of Fame. There was this one that had went viral saying that the person with the perfect level of Fame is Maggie Rogers, which I thought was interesting because she just played three nights at Madison Square Garden. People are obsessed her, but I feel like her fans wouldn't even talk to her in person. They just really love her music, not necessarily her person. She probably goes to the grocery store quite a bit, but she also goes to the Met Gala. I thought it was a good answer.

It's an interesting answer. I do feel like she can make herself look regular. Yeah, she's not like- But I also feel like Jennifer Lawrence could make herself look regular with a little baseball cap.

Yeah, except the thing about Jennifer Lawrence and the reason why she blew up in the way that she did is that she is so beautiful. The most beautiful woman in the world can't make themselves look normal. You know what I mean? You don't think with a baseball hat and just sunglasses and disheveled and a canvas tote. Jennifer Lawrence, no matter what she's wearing, she can't get rid of her movie star quality. What made her the movie star that she is. I feel like Maggie Rogers or any performer, you take all that stuff off, you really wear just sweatbands. You could just be a girl. Some people have... Jennifer Lawrence has that factor, that movie star quality.

That's true.

Not to say that Maggie Rogers isn't You guys know what I'm saying. It's not what you said. No, but I could see people being like, Well, Maggie Rodges is a beautiful woman.

Yes, she is. People have listening comprehension. That's not what I said. It's not. It's not. Thanks. Are you ready for our next story? One number. Three. Things that happened this weekend? The big night out at the Academy Museum Gala, which is the most confusing event.

We talk about it every year because we have no idea what it is.

Because it happens every year.

But every famous person... It's literally the same level of talent as the Met Gala.

Every famous person goes and they They bring out their best, objectively nice-looking looks. They look beautiful. They don't look like cookey or weird or too avant-garde. They just genuinely look gargi-parchy.

And I know that now, having done this job for X amount of years, I know that it is a benefit for a museum. Yeah. I could not- Academy of Motion Pictures. Oh, it's not like an art museum?

No, I think it's like a movie museum, and it may be in some ways tied to the Oscars. Maybe the Oscars Academy of Motion Pictures, who votes on the Oscars, has a Museum of Motion Pictures. That's my guess.

Okay. Well, I was just going to say that's as much as I know.

They have this event every year to raise funds for the academy and the museum and the gala.

Don't forget about the museum.

The girlies go.

Everyone goes.

Everyone goes. So this year, a lot of people went, the people that we care about most, including Kendall and Kylie had a sister's, an S&O, a Swirly's Night Out.

I love when they decide to just act like they act their age. And it's like maybe once a year, they are reminded that they are the most famous, the most wealthy, and the most connected girls. I'm like, Let's go out and have a night.

Let's go out. What's everyone doing tonight? Oh, that gala. Okay.

Let me get a dress nobody could ever get. Let me just call up Mugler. It's like they remember that they're these Pargy sisters, and they were like, Let's be Pargy sisters for a night.

Yeah. So they were Pargy sisters. They looked amazing. They both looked amazing. Kim was also there, but didn't roll up with them. No, she was separate. They were together inside.

I thought Kim Zuff was a little crazy. I thought it was crazy.

I don't think it was bad.

I think, objectively, it was very beautiful. But when you see everyone showing up, it's this really elegant gala, and she's wearing her underwear.

Wear your pants.

Everyone really looked black-tie. Would you ever wear what they would wear at someone's wedding? No. If Kim showed up to someone's wedding in that, She seriously was crazy for that.

Okay. It's like that. Movies is an industry she's trying to break into. I feel like it was a very brave thing to do. Not wrong or right. She should show up everywhere as Kim and be herself and be confident, and she can wear whatever she wants, technically.

I just feel like it's like a dress code for things that you should abide by.

Put your pants on.

Yeah, it was crazy to show up. That's something you would wear with a VMAs. Put your pants on. Put your trousers on. Put your trousers. Basically, what we're going to do is dance.

Yeah. I guess technically, like Kylie's outfit was crazy because it was giving thong.

Yeah, but it was a full dress to the floor.

No, but it was superb. That's It's the craziest level I will accept.

Yeah, no. I wanted to say, objectively, I thought the outfit was pretty and it was cool, and she had worn it to the VMAs. I think it would have been sick. Kim, yeah. It's wrong for this affair. It was wrong. I still don't really fully understand the affair, but I still know this outfit's wrong. Yeah.

It's a black tie fundraiser at the end of the day.

Put your trousers on. Put your trousers on.

So a photo that is going viral. Three unlikely characters took a picture together. From left to right, I shall name them. Patrick Schwarzenegger, Kendall Jenner, Joe Alwyn.

Now, the Joe Alwyn piece obviously hit me sideways. This is a person who's so anti-fame, hit to keep Taylor locked up. I'm You're not like, if you're an anti-famil, you're not taking movies pictures with the Kardashian. I'm sorry, I'm not holding space for both things to be true. They both can't be true. You can't be at an event hobnobbing with the Kardashian.

That's not what bothered me. No, I'm sorry. If he's going to go to any event, it's the Academy of Motion Pictures, all the movies that he does are in these.

I can't stand him.

I'm sorry. This is his wheelhouse. It's not shocking to me that he was there taking pictures, but it's like, what are you doing? Are you doing with Kendall? Talking to Kendall.

Yeah, actually, that really is crazy.

He's part of Team enemy.

Yeah. Kendall's Place, actually, in the-Let me just see.

You got a little-Oh, my headband looks weird. On the other side. My headband looks weird? No, you just have a pay.

I have a pair. I have a curly Q. Okay.

Yeah, perfect.

I look darling again? Okay. Yeah, darling. Kendall's Place in that whole saga is actually really underrated and not spoken about enough because we forget about the 1989 shows where Kendall Jenner walked on the stage with all the other models, Mod Squad. She was very close to becoming a core member of that-And they share best friends. Rhode Island house. They share a best friend. That's really weird. I feel like Taylor would be the type of person. With Kim, it's so personal that she couldn't be friends with someone who's even remotely close. Gigi's not only friends with Kendall, she's friends with the whole family.

I would understand that. Not to You can't be friends with people I don't like, but like-Not wanting to be. Yeah, and I couldn't have a best, best, best, best friend who's so close with the people that I hate most. Yeah.

I couldn't. It's actually not spoken about enough.

Yeah.

Although I do feel like if Gigi had to pick, right? She's definitely closer with Taylor. Yes. But she's super tight with... I feel like maybe her and Kendall are work friends. Perhaps. I don't think they hang out anymore, on the weekends.

Like the way that they used to.

They definitely used to.

When they were in middle school.

Yeah, when they were in middle school.

So, yeah, Kendall and Joe all went, and we're mixed with each other, and that's just something. And then also, she dated Patrick Schwarzenegger at one point in a technical sense. But for a second, I got him confused with Connor Kennedy because they are confusing.

No, and by the way, nobody thinks of Patrick Schwarzenegger as one of Taylor's exes.

He's Miley's ex.

A thousand %. He's also engaged now. He's fine.

I don't think anything- But just another random name to throw into the mix.

How did these three congregate together as a What did they talk about?

What did they talk about?

What did Kendall and Joe talk about? Do you think they hit it off? No, Kendall has a lot going on. I feel like she's...

Is she seeing someone?

I don't know. I feel like she still definitely has something going on with Kevin Booker, and then also, obviously, Bad Bunny. Bad Bunny, right? I don't think she has space in her life now for a third.

But maybe you just need someone to come in and you've been going back and forth, and you weren't able to choose because the choice wasn't there, and you need that clear choice of Joe Alwyn.

What did they have to talk about? For Joe Alwyn takes himself so seriously. He's fancy British. I feel like he talks about literature. He's so snobby. Kendall's a swirly. I mean, as she would describe, she's a nerd.

I think Joe would call himself a nerd.

Yeah, but Joe is a nerd.

Yeah.

I have a visceral reaction. I really don't like him.

I know you don't.

Get out of here.

He didn't do anything wrong. He didn't do anything wrong. He loved your girl for six years, and when it was unpopular to do so.

Oh, please. Even when it was unpopular, Joe Almond should be so lucky. Like who?

I'm just saying. I'm just saying. He was like... Yeah, no, you're right. He ran its course.

You're right.

But he did nothing wrong. What? Because he was too blue for her.

No, there are like rumors and stuff that he cheated, but There's no way of knowing that.

That would be in the music. It's not in the music. Yeah. Ttd was not a slam album because she doesn't want you to slam him.

No, she doesn't want us to slam him. I'm sorry. I actually also didn't like him when they were together. So it's not like I'm just like, I hate him because him and Taylor broke up. I actually never thought he was right for her, and I don't like him.

That doesn't mean for hatred.

No, not hatred, I guess.

He's a nice guy. He's doing his best in this world. And he did right by your Girl for the most part, so it seems. Wow.

Okay. I've been silenced. What else is there to say?

He doesn't deserve it. A bunch of other swirleies were at The Affair.

You who?

Oh, you want to get into The Swirl?

You just name a few of the A-list.

Kaya Gerber, Nicole Kidman, Sasha Barron Cohen, and Sarah Silverman were holding hands, but in a platonic way.

Even though he is single now. And did they date?

No, the way they were holding hands was like...

No, I feel like they're just working together.

Absolute friend zone.

To support Israel. They're both big Israel supporters. Love that. Yeah, that was the vibe I got. We're holding hands in solidarity with Israel. That was the vibe that I got.

Even though I should like them and that, I do not ship in any way, shape or form.

No, of course not. And we still, as I'm going to speak for both of us, if that's okay, we have unresolved feelings when it comes to him and Ila Fisher. They're not done yet.

No, I think they're done. No, I don't think so. But not for me. I stayed there.

Dust collected around your pinned up hair. Right.

Ari was there. Cynthia Revo.

Ari was actually asked I like... Okay, shout out to Ken Baker, Colgate grad, right? It was Ken Baker who asked it? Yeah, he works for Variety now. He used to be on A. There was a drama when he left, and then he got this job.

And he's a Colgate alum.

And he was like, What do you think? Finally, somebody asking a good question. Ari, what do you think about Cynthia Reveal's breakdown on Instagram about AI? And Ari was very political. You could tell she thought Cynthia was crazy, but she said, That's my sister. If she feels that way, she feels that way. But she was like, Listen, AI is this big thing. None of us know. She got it got philosophical.

I think she took it to a really good place.

It's really complicated. That's what she said.

I think it's a really good strategy that when asked a question that you don't want to answer, you just confuse people.

Yeah.

It's really a smart one.

No, she was put in the tough spot because I think Ari is used to this. And Ari did say that. She was like, A lot of this is new for Cynthia. For Aari, it's not. Every time she farts, there's memes made out of it.

I think she meant AI is new, and we don't know. Maybe she meant both. Maybe she meant neither.

Well, here we are, questioning everything.

But I think she was saying it is new, and we all need to figure out as a society how we're going to navigate these new muddy waters.

I guess Kylie's dress was a little suggestive, but it's covered. It's a lot of boops. No, I'm sorry. The more I look at Kim, looking next to Kyra Gerber, who's wearing a flapper dress from the '20s. Kim looks crazy. Yeah. Nicole Kidman looked bomb.

Yeah.

The swirleys were out.

Everyone looked really lovely.

Yeah. It's nice when everybody gets dressed up. They're not trying to get attention. Sometimes people end up looking crazy on red carpets because they want to be photographed. Whereas here everybody just- And they're moving the needle and they're pushing fashion. Everyone here is actually A-list. They don't have to do stupid shit like that.

Yeah, no. It's a respectful event. I It's always nice to see the pics from it.

Now, we do have obviously more to get into, but I did want to let everyone know that the remainder of the show is brought to you by DraftKings.

Oh, thank you.

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Turdback. You're welcome, jurdback.

Our next story, a little update from What we discussed on Friday. Love a quick turnaround update.

Okay.

Sand in My Boots Fest.

Oh, yeah. Morgfest. Okay. Also Morgfest, by the way. I learned a little bit more about Morgfest. It's not like a brand new festival. It was a pre-existing festival that he's taking over. When we were talking about, celebrities just throwing festivals and how scary that can be for safety. There actually is pre-existing infrastructure that makes this a much lower lift for Morgan Wallen.

Got it. Okay. Infrastructure is key.

Apparently, fans of this festival, I don't know if there were a lot since it literally got shut down, but they're devastated that it's Morgan Wallen's Festival now. Oh, interesting.

I wonder what it was before. I'm not sure. I hadn't heard of it. It sounds similar to Tortuga, which is in Florida on the beach. It's like they put on concert venue on the beach, but there's a lot of hotels that you can stand there not responsible for food and lodging.

We always have to go to Tortuga Festival? We have to go.

The last few years where we've been able to go, the lineup wasn't worth going for us. We'll have to see what they're putting on this year. Then the years that we couldn't go, of course, was like Lou Holmes and Morgan Wallen together doing a joint song, singing about the girly swirly night out.

Because the country music industry literally hates us.

And they just don't work with our schedules, and they're not flexible. They're not flexible. The lineup is here for Morgfest, a. K. Sand in My Boots Festival, which is Morgan Wallen's Beach Side Festival on the Alabama shores, of course.

Alabama.

How did you not know that?

Have you been to Alabama?

Alabama is a gorgeous place, and they have beautiful beaches where you could listen to country music at Morgfest called Sand in My Boots.

This is not a paid endorsement.

No, because if it were, we're doing a terrible job. The festival will feature headliners such as Morgan Wallen. Of course. Post Malone. Huge. Brooks & Done. Huge. Hardy.

Classic. Morgan Wallen doesn't do anything without Hardy.

Along with a mix of country hip hop and rock performers, including- Whizz Khalifa. T-pane. Whizz Khalifa. 2 Chainz. Not to be confused with 2 strands.

Not to be confused with 2 strands.

3 6 Mafia.

I like that he's crossing genres.

Moneybagg Yo, plus for Ben, The War on Drugs, Three Doors Down.

For Ben, what's The War on Drugs?

I don't know, but they were right before Three Doors Down.

Three Doors Down is for Ben.

Future Islands, Real Estate, and more.

It's like hodgepodge.

Hodgepodge, however, I think altogether is nice. I like that. Chase Rice will be there for the girls.

For the Bachelorette Girls.

Ella Langley, Ernest, who also works with-I like Ella Langley.Morgan.

Ernest.do you know that song? Yes. Excuse me, you look like you love me. It's so cute.

Yeah, and everyone only knows that part.

You look like you want me to want you to come on home. I'm not like other I was like, please.

Keep going.

I can't blame you. You are the way home, way home.

There it is. Morgan Wade will be there.

Will Kyle Richards be there?

Tbd.

She's not on the lineup?

Not on the lineup.

That's a huge flop for Morgfest.

Like, Reilly Green. Classic. I hope grandpas never die.

I hope grandpas never die.

So I'm going to tell Snitch.

Yeah, that Reilly Green is a handsome Yeah, we saw him at iHeartCountryFest. I've seen him a few times. He opens for Luke. So when I saw two random Luke shows, he had opened for both of them. He's really on the up in the country music scene. That grandpa song really did him in.

He has a couple of really strong songs.

And he's also so incredibly handsome. Yeah, he has what it takes. It's hard not to be dazzled. And he also performs in overalls with nothing underneath them. And not that there's real countrymen and non-real, but he's also from... He's like, grew up on a farm.

Doing the real thing. Yeah, he talks the talk and he walks the walk.

Luke Brian has said, Some of these country guys, they wear more makeup than the girls. And he's basically... He's never said that, by the way. I have a memory of him saying something similar. But basically, you can tell when you meet a country artist and you take them hunting, and they've never been hunting. It's giving inauthentic. But he did not say that thing about makeup. That was slanderous of me. But that was implying. I understand. That they're posh.

I like the quote. Yeah, no.

I slayed, honestly. Some of these guys, they be wearing more makeup than the girls do. But then it sounds like he's being homophobic, and that's not what he was saying.

I think we know what he was saying. Once again.

Yeah, he meant like Prissy.

Once again, Jennifer Lawrence isn't more beautiful than Maggie Rogers.

And by the way, it writes about being homophobic in Turdy's fake quote. It also might not have been Luke Brian, but I think it was.

I just think we all understood what you meant, even if it wasn't Luke Brian.

Sometimes people love to extrapolate, and I need to get out ahead of it. I am the anti-extrapolation- Extrapolation is good when you know what you're doing.

But it It's going to be a messy business.

Extrapolation is good when you know the person, person. I would never extrapolate from somebody I don't know.

But also extrapolation is good when you trust your faves. That's beautiful.

And you're not assuming the worst. Make it a quote card. Extrapolation is good when you trust your faves.

The problem is some of you-Asterisk. Some of you were not your faves. Which is crazy that you're an hour and 10 minutes into a show of people who aren't your faves. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Crazy.

Crazy generous.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story, which is some major touring news, and someone is getting her flowers and deserves them.

Who?

Shakira.

You know what? I'm obsessed with this story. I'm so glad you brought it up.

Shakira is postponing her North American tour.

Not for the reasons you might think.

To switch from arenas to stadiums after overwhelming demand.

Apparently, the tickets are flying off the shelves. There's not enough tickets to go around. She said, Hold my beer. Oh, you didn't think these arenas aren't big enough? Let's do stadiums.

I I love that. It takes a certain person to do a stadium, and these days, it's only the core four. Add a fit to the mix.

Who is the core four in your mind?

Taylor, Beyoncé, Luke, and Morgan.

Ed Sheeran. No. And Coldplay. No. Okay, I'm sorry, but it's true.

Then we're in a different... Yes, technically. Ed Sheeran. I don't even think about Ed Sheeran.

I never think about Ed Sheeran.

I literally go weeks of my life. Weeks?

Years.

Agreed. I do not think about Sheeran.

But the crazy thing is, nobody on the planet sells more tickets than Ed Sheeran. He's on the same level as Taylor. It's really crazy.

That is so crazy.

In countries that are not like his... He's huge in the UK.

Who are the core for for you?

Well, I don't think that there's four.

What you think that there's six?

Okay, Beyoncé, Taylor, Luke, Morgan, and... Ed. Ed, yeah. I guess, Coldplay doesn't count.

You are right about Coldplay, but they don't count.

They don't count, yeah.

They're not like... They've just been doing this forever, and they have these standing audiences, and it just is what it is.

Yeah, it's pre-existing.

It is what it is. They're like a football team. I'm not shocked they're selling out stadiums. Correct. Shakira has entered the chat.

I'm so happy for her. Now, what's devastating is that you really can't talk about this without bringing up JLo. When I was on Twitter, everyone was talking about-I just want to say I could have and I would have. Because she was the one to most recently postpone her North American tour for very different reasons.

I just want to say I was planning to have this conversation, and JLo never entered my mind.

And because they don't They don't necessarily compete, but they definitely are in the same space. They did the Super Bowl together. So it's actually really crazy to see them having such opposite moments. Not to seriously bring JLo into this, but everyone else on Twitter did. So that's why I did.

Yeah, I wouldn't have Also, JLo spreads herself doing a lot of other things, including acting and busies herself. She is very focused on music. For her seeds to bear fruit, I'm very happy for her.

She Well, Shakira, for me, obviously, I know Shakira, but I don't download her new music. I don't really follow her career. It's crazy for somebody to be having something so big happening, and I don't know about it.

No, don't know about it. Didn't participate in it. I'm not- She's not having this success.

None of it is due to me.

It's a game, and that's really cool.

I know. Not to center ourselves, but like...

No, she's working hard, and it's paying off, and hard work pays off.

She's the example. And by the way, for someone to be having this level of success, what, 30 years into their career? When did her first song really pop It was when we were kids.

Yeah, probably in the '90s.

That's so crazy. And just to see, to sell out an arena by yourself, as a woman, that's sick.

Yeah. As a woman at a certain age, I think she has kids, which means she took time off.

And she went through a really bad divorce with that piece of shit.

She's still going through it in the jelly.

Yeah, in the jelly. You know what?

You love to see her- The jelly roll.

You love to see her raking it in post-divorce. This is money that she will get to keep.

It's very Jessica Simpson.

It's very Kelsey Valeriny, having all that success after you file.

Yeah, no. Kelsey Valeriny was married for two minutes, and I think they just split the commission on the sale of the house.

No, no. Knowing you got half- Half asterisk. You think of just the house? Yes.

She said that on Call Her Daddy. Oh.

I assumed it was 50% of her finances.

No, I think we all did. But I just remember learning that he got half of the house, even though she spent more on it.

Okay, well, because That made me sick if she was seriously giving- I'm pretty sure.

Feel free to fact check me, but that was my takeaway.

My takeaway was that she made way more than him, so in order to get him to get the fuck away, she just gave him half of everything. I think that they- They had a prenup, right?

Had a prenup, and it was half of the house that he did not contribute half towards.

Okay, well, that's taking a loss on the house.

Knowing you got half, asterisk, of the house that you did not contribute half towards. What are you thinking?

I'm just thinking.

I actually think I need to do a live fact check because that's a big thing to say if he didn't get half. I don't even know where I would find this information. I know. Kelsey Balarini.

Morgan Divorce.

What's his last name? Evans. What's his last name? Evans. Evans House Half.

I was actually thinking about Morgan Evans last night as I fell asleep. I forget why, but I was really thinking about how that era where these three young hot things in country were all coming up together, Kelsey Balerini, Maren Morris, and Casey Musgraves, and they all got married so young to men significantly less famous than them, and now every single one them is divorced.

So Kelsey Balerini says ex-Morgan Evans gave her choice of giving up half the house or paying alimony. On Call Her Daddy, she discussed her marital struggles and explained her side of the story about where things stand now. Okay. That's better. Who you marry is not who you divorce. As he's putting out a song about being blindsided, he's taking half the house that he didn't pay for. Alex said, So you didn't get a prenup? She said, I did get a prenup. It was like that or alimony. So he got half of the house.

Okay, okay, okay. Yeah. Okay. That makes you feel better. To get out of a marriage that you're so unhappy and all you'd lose is half a house, like when you're a celebrity, that's fine.

Right.

Okay, okay. That's better.

I think that's a good way to end things.

You and me too amicably.

Yeah, on a high note, on some good news.

That's our show. Nice long one for you. Hope you enjoyed the Erris Tour recap, Jackie's version.

N-l-o-f-y.

Nalafy.

That's what you could say now when it's long. That's our show, Nalafi.

That's our show. Nice long show.

Nice long one for you.

Nalafi. Thank you so much for listening to The Toast, The Millionaire Morning show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video of a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere. Podcasts can be found on Spotify. It's your public video, I already cast all the places we've listened to podcast, find out the toast. Leave a five star view about a beautiful setting and wickly talented we are. Hope you have an amazing day, you guys, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love you. Hopefully, it's another Nalafi one.

Nalafi. Bye.