Transcript of I Don't Speak Karen: Monday, October 28th, 2024

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Monday. Hope everybody had a gargi-pargy fall weekend. Speaking of gargi-pargy girls, it's Jacquelyne Folley.

Hi, guys. It's me. I'm here with Bruno.

He decided to come-Oh, my God, why are you talking so weird? You just started your YouTube channel.

Hey, welcome back to my channel. I'm here with my dog Brewy, who has decided to come to work today. After bankrupting the family, he wants to contribute towards his medical bills. So he is in studio, a little too Toothless, but not homeless. But not homeless. If he keeps going the way he's going, maybe.

At this rate, he might just be.

He might just be. Toothless and homeless. I want to thank everyone who shared their stories about Big Pet because I feel very validated while also feeling like I had no other choice but to extract 14 teeth.

And that you made the right choice.

In the moment. In the moment, I had no choices, and there's no downside to the extraction of 14 teeth. And that really brought me a lot of solace and comfort. So thank guys. Bruno really appreciated it, too.

Yeah, I was ready for people to be like, Oh, my God, Jackie and her theories again. But no, this time, they were on your side.

This one's a slam dunk.

It's also just a universal thing. You're bringing pet owners together from all different walks of life. And in a time when our country is so divided, that unification was really appreciated on a Friday, nonetheless.

It's true. My favorite were the people who are trying to tell me I'm wrong for my theory, and they're like, It's good for the canines, for this breed, to have their teeth taken out. Did they? As if their teeth are bad for them. But those are their teeth. Why would they have teeth that are bad for them?

And in the words of Lady Gaga, Show me your teeth.

I still have yet to see Bruno's teeth because the paper literally said, Don't open their mouth to try and see their teeth for two weeks because you could move a suture. I would hate to move a suture.

It's so annoying when you're just trying to live your life and you end up moving a suture. Do you know what I mean? It's so frustrating.

It's the worst. And so for Bruno's privacy, I haven't seen his teeth.

Yeah, that's good. And for the suture's privacy. Of course.

But once those sutures fall out of their own accord, it's game over for you, sutures.

Let me tell you what happened to me.

Okay. That's what we do here on this show. The show should be called What What happened to Me.

Here's what happened to me. I took a TikTok social media break, and I returned this morning. Oh, right. I have such crazy thoughts. They are so opposite what I thought. Okay. So I was really ready to take even more time off TikTok, that it was really so good for me. It made such a difference in my screen time, in my overall well-being, my mental health. I know that TikTok is a problem, and this experiment was just going to prove it. I didn't need evidence, but if I needed it, it was going to be this. Let me tell you, I don't really feel like it had that effect at all. My screen time was just as bad as ever. I was just using different apps, and I want to say worse apps. I spent so much time on Twitter and Reels, obviously. Reels was just boring me. It wasn't entertaining me at all. So much time on Twitter, which obviously, election season, it was annoying me. It was too much. I don't know. I don't feel like it had the intended effects at all. I don't feel better. I didn't feel like I was spending less time on my phone.

If anything, I was just on my phone feeling desperate.

Yeah. Okay. So that's good to know that it's not stopping you from doing all this medical research that you would have otherwise been doing. Correct.

I was not productive. I didn't make anything with my hands.

You didn't read more?

No, I watched 30 episodes of Glee, but that's really it.

That is productivity, though, and that's getting an education.

You're telling me.

For turnts self.

So what I did take away, Because I did then do a little bit of research on my screen time, and especially during the weekdays. I definitely exceed... It's bad. I would say two and a half, three hours a day on TikTok. That's really, really bad.

I'm the double T.

I'm thinking of putting in a limit, maybe 90 minutes a day because it is also my job. I need to be up with the kids. I do want to say, though, I didn't feel like I knew less about what was going on in the world. Everybody was like, Oh, my God, you posted about Sabrina and Taylor so late. Are you just now seeing it on reels? No, I saw it I don't know what had actually happened. I just didn't post about it.

You're feeling the real's prejudice.

Yeah, and to be honest, I don't want that smoke on me, so I'm going back to TikTok.

Or we could just do away with prejudiced.

Okay. Ideally, yeah, that would be nice, but the prejudice is out there, and so I'm avoiding it at all costs.

Understood. Well, I'm trying to change the prejudices. Also, did you download TikTok yesterday because you sent a TikTok in the chat. I did. Did you go back yesterday to TikTok, or you really waited till this morning?

This morning?

Because you sent a TikTok, and I was like, Oh, she caved. I did? Yeah, I think so. I don't want to slander. I don't want to slander. I thought in our family chat, you sent a TikTok last night, and I was like, Oh, she's back. Better than ever.

Was it Ben?

Was it Ben?

What do you mean? Because I was watching some TikToks with Ben, over his shoulder.

Oh, sorry. I apologize. It was Margot.

Thank you so much.

I do apologize.

No, I did do it. It wasn't even necessarily hard.

Margot wrote in the chat. Margot wrote in our chat We talked to her.

It wasn't necessarily hard. It was unenjoyable.

Okay. And the thing is, we're trying to cultivate an enjoyable life for you.

An enjoyable life.

And so, cultivate your vibe and your tribe, my friend.

And a tribe, my friend.

Well, speaking of- There are two types of people in the world. People who use the word tribe. Actually, I'm sorry. Three people. People who use the word tribe. People who use the word tribe in relation to religion and Judaism, in which case- No, we're not talking about that.

We're talking about culturally.

And then the people who don't.

And I personally fall into the third group. No, there are three types of people in this world, okay? People who use the word tribe, people who use it religiously, and people I hate. Oh, no. And people I like. Right. Well, speaking of people that I hate, you know what else I did this weekend? This is not a good segue, but you know what else I did this weekend? No. I voted.

You did vote. I did know that. I saw that you took your snack and your umbrella.

And my plan.

Your planner with your planner.

It was a long process making the plan. I just basically woke up and was like, Is my polling place open yet? And it was. So I went. And it's really easy like Google- Do you want to share your plan? I googled, Is my polling place open? And I put in my zip code and they said, Yeah, actually, it opened at 08:00 AM that day. So I went at 11:00. It was packed. Oh, my God. I have a few things to say. One, we got into a fight. I didn't even tell you this.

I did hear about it, though. Through the great crime.

Okay. Well, actually, three things happened. One, I googled before, Can you bring... Because we were taking Romeo for a walk. I'm like, Can you bring a dog to a polling place? They said, Yes, if he's a service animal. Romeo is a registered emotional service animal. So seriously, eat my fucking ass. When we walk in, The security guard, because it's in a building in the city, so you walk into the lobby, but you actually vote on the fifth floor. So there's a bunch of staff in the first floor, and the security guard is like, Is that a registered service at them? We were like, Yes. He said, Come right in. I knew the rules, okay? We get up to the fifth floor. First of all, the polling place might as well have been in hell. The air conditioning must have been broken, and it was actually the first really cold day in New York, so I was puffered up. Holy shit. I start sweating. I'm just already in a mood, and there's a line, whatever. We get to the front of the line, and this absolute fucking beast, Karen. She did not work at the polling place.

She was not a volunteer. She was just a C-U-N-T, okay? With a big green N95 mask. You just knew the vibe. She comes over and she tricked us. You know the vibe.

That is not your tribe.

And literally, she was so methodical in her interrogation. She obviously had a plan, right? She made a plan.

She made a plan.

She goes, Is that your pet? We're like, Yeah.

Romeo.

We're like, What do you think? He's just like a stray? She said... And she asked it intentionally because I guess the answer would have been, No, he's our service animal. But I thought she was a normal person. Forgive me. I don't speak Dweep. I actually don't speak Karen. So I was like, Yeah, I thought she was going to say, Oh, so cute. Pets aren't allowed in polling places. And I was hot, and I was already on edge because the line. And I'm like, She chose the wrong fucking bitch. I'm like, mind your fucking business, first of all. When we walked in here, we went through the proper protocols, okay? I spoke to security. I know the rules. I'm a fucking normal person, bitch. And literally everyone started looking at us, and she wouldn't let it go. For lack of a better word, dog with a bone. She was like, That's why I asked if it was a pet. I'm like, You fucking set us up with your dumb fucking question, you stupid bitch. And if she wasn't an older woman, I actually would have thrown hands because I was just not in the mood between the The heat, the line, everything, the TikTok withdrawals.

I was not in the mood for this fucking lady.

It's giving voter suppression.

By the way, she was trying to suppress my vote, 1,000 %. I'm over it. I go and I check in, and I have to sign. I'm like, Okay, I'll sign. You know you don't think much about your signature. She's like, That's wrong. I'm like, What's wrong? My signature?

She did work. She was a poll worker.

No, I'm sorry. I'm over the pet lady.

It's a different she.

Different shade, lovely, lovely woman. We're chatting, and she's like, Your signature is wrong. I'm like, How can someone's signature be wrong? She's like, Do it again. I'm like, Okay. It's Claudia Asher. It's whatever. She's like, It's not a match. I'm like, A match to what?

To your old signature.

First of all, I didn't know this was a quiz. I didn't know it was supposed to be matching.

Sometimes I have to try out a new font. Yeah. No.

And by the way, when did I take this? I was obviously going through something when I did, because after four turns, she finally showed me the original I'm supposed to be copying. It must be my first time ever her voting in high school. I had a heart over the eye in Claudia. Like, okay.

Yeah. You have to tell her, explain to her. You've changed a lot.

I didn't know that in that moment when I was making that signature, I would be held to it for the rest of my fucking life.

Yeah. That's a form of voter ID, signature matching. Overall, it's a good thing to verify, but- It's a bad system. You should just know when you do your first signature that you'll be matching it later on. Well, if that's the case, then the voting age should be 30, because I really didn't figure out my signature until I was 27. But in their defense, maybe they did tell us that when you registered to vote, and it just didn't register.

So then I'm done voting, and I'm looking around the polling place for Ben. He's still in the booth. I'm like, What are you doing? He was being so slow, and I'm really getting hot. And then he goes over, he takes his ballot, and you have to put it in the machine. It sucks it up and registers it or whatever. And his isn't working. His isn't working. And I'm like, Seriously, so hot on this floor. So I said, Ben, I'll wait for you in the lobby. When I tell you, I sat in the lobby for 30 minutes. I don't know what the hell was going on. They were really trying to suppress Ben's vote. His ballot had to be void, and he had to do the whole thing again. I'm like, Only you have these problems. Everybody else, everyone in the neighborhood came and went, no problem. But Ben's was void. They had to cancel it, check him in again, let him get back online. So annoying.

What was the issue? Does he know what the issue-We weren't told.

Maybe it was Romeo.

What do you think? Do you think that he messed up his ballot?

Filled it out wrong? That was a lot. That's what the rumors were saying at the polling place about Ben. But in his defense, the machine wouldn't even suck it up to know that it was filled out incorrectly. I actually don't know. Okay.

Interesting. Well, I'm glad you got off the vote. A little early voting. I'm going to try and make a plan for this week.

I had never really early voted before. I don't think I'm very much like a day of swirly, but I don't know what compelled me. Maybe it was all the time I was spending on Twitter.

Yeah. No, but I feel like everybody's early voting. I know. Why would I stand in a longer line on election day? On the day of.

Even though the line was long as hell, I feel like no one's going to be voting on actual election day.

Major key, potentially.

I think that might be the hack.

I don't know. Now it's like, okay, so I'll go back for election day. I think I gamed it, but then I'm still on election day lines. I'll make a plan if I may say so.

Vote. Org.

Vote. Org. Get out the vote. This is the season. I voted. Which also means my birthday's coming up.

Oh my God. So true.

My birthday is on Wednesday after election day.

No one's going to I'm like, actually, I will welcome the reprieve. But I think everyone's going to be really caught up in election drama.

That's okay. It's not a significant birthday. I don't have major plans. And I'm saying that in an earnest way. And I just want to get myself a gift. That's all I want. And of course, for my sisters. And I look forward to a bounty of gifts for my sisters because I really crushed it for them this year.

You're a great gift giver. I could speak freely. I can let you know I have not shopped for you yet. Great. No idea. So if you want to send suggestions, I would be more than open.

I will. I think I will because I'm craving a couple of things.

That's helpful. Just be reasonable, of course.

Oh, I'm nothing, if not reasonable, turt.

Because you recently went through a bit of a bankruptcy due to Bruno, as did I. I bought a new phone charger on Friday after the show. Ask me how much it was.

I already know how much it was, but I'll ask you for the show's sake. How much was it?

62 doll hairs. Chew on that. Chew on that.

Romeo might chew on that.

He probably will. I mean, he's not very particular. He literally eats my dirty underwear. That was a core part of our childhood. We had a childhood dog growing up who was literally obsessed with going into our hamper and exclusively sniffing out our dirty underwear. Torn up pieces of our dirty underwear were scattered throughout our house for many years.

I'm reading this book, and now I'm realizing that maybe Dageni's miscalling was being a search and rescue hound because this book that I'm reading, which, by the way, so far is unbelievable. Pick it for your next book club if you want to slam dunk, called God of the Woods. It's Rebecca's Choice, and it's really long. So I started it early, and I read it every night. And it's like, I'm so glad that it's long because I'm only at 50%, and I'm enjoying it so much. This year for Redheads, it slayed the house down, which I just want to say. But God of the Woods is coming in a top three spot so far. And there's much talk about the hounds, and they needed underwear, dirty underwear from the laundry bin.

Oh, wow.

So maybe that's what Dageni was doing.

So you're reading a book about our childhood?

Yeah. I'll just say it's actually about a summer camp, and it's pretty party. It's totally, yeah. Pargy-lish. God of the Woods by Liz Moore. If you're looking for a great book, and then you can be a part of the Redheads. And I'm using my Redheads mug. And- Synergy.

Synergy. I'm drinking a La Croix. Oh, a major update in my life, if I may. Over the weekend, not only did I start Glee, which obviously is It's huge, but I don't want to talk about it.

She's private.

I actually made the transition in my home from La Croix to Pellegrino just because they had it at the place and they didn't have the La Croix flavor that I wanted. And I'm drinking Pellegrino in my house. Okay, France. I literally feel so sophisticated. What bottle? Plastic, tall. Not France. Not glass. I mean, please. You want me to have glass in my house? That's insane.

Well, a couple of things. First of all, the Pellegrino out of a plastic bottle does not hit the same.

I completely disagree. It's fiery and bubbly.

It's so good. No, you're fiery and bubbly for four minutes, and then it's flat.

I so disagree with you.

And then my next crunchy lady change that I'll be making in my life is more water in glass bottles as opposed to plastic. Apparently, I'm drinking the equivalent of a credit card every week.

That's insane. What about aluminum cans like La Croix?

I I haven't been targeted with anything against them yet, so they can stay.

Okay, cool.

Yeah. So I can just see Zack hauling the glass bottles. He loves this journey that I'm on. Yeah, I'm sure. He does because he really likes sourdough. So I think the rest is... And lucky for him, we both get sent all these reels that it's like, If your wife starts making sourdough, just go ahead and buy the chicken coop. And lucky for him, that's not what's next for me because of our district.

Hoa.

So I feel like he's enjoying all the perks, and he's not cleaning up chicken poop. Great. You can carry a glass bottle.

My favorite part of your crunchy granola journey is all the Patreons you make, the vlogs and things. I really enjoy those.

Speaking of, my husband and I are doing something so exciting tomorrow that we will be vlogging.

What? I don't even know. Oh, I know.

You know. It's not a big secret. I wanted to be really exciting when it drops. So I'm not teasing it. It's a secret project, I guess, in that sense. That's something you have to look forward to. That's huge. Then also, it's Halloween right now because- Oh my God.

My costume arrived.

This weekend was the It was our official Halloween celebration weekend, which was great. We actually celebrated a bit of Halloween. We went to a party last night, and we were totally dressed to the nines, the heroes. Totally. We all were heroes. It was really cute.

Did your costume arrive? Like your toaster wing? Yeah. Did you try it on?

No need.

Oh, you just know that it's going to slide.

Yeah. It's like, Cinderella in the show. You just know. It's made for me.

I have a bunch of boxes. I haven't opened them yet. I'm going to try them all on today because I had to get stuff for our third. I won't spoil who it is, but I think you guys might know. I'm really excited about it. And it's always nerve-wracking when the Halloween weekend, where people celebrate. Oh, my God. You just reminded me of something I have to tell you.

I didn't even say anything.

Yeah, where the Halloween weekend comes before Toast-a-ween, because there's always a chance that somebody, like an influencer, like a fellow podcaster, dresses up as your thing. And it's like, yikes. I haven't seen anyone.

Yeah, but also there's space for all of us. That's all I'll say. I feel like actually people might celebrate Halloween, too, next weekend because it didn't seem like so much Halloween. This really didn't seem like the precursor. Also, if I were in college, say, and Halloween's on a Thursday, Thursday night, Halloween party. You would do both. Friday night, Halloween party. So I do feel like we might slide into the weekend with it a bit. And then where it's November second, and you're celebrating Halloween, move on. It's my birthday.

I can't believe I've talked for 19 minutes, and I didn't talk about what happened to me on Saturday night.

Okay.

I officially reached a point in my adulthood. I think that there's only before and after this pivotal moment. And it's when you file your first sound complaint, noise complaint, which happened to me on Saturday night. I'm asleep, and I wake up to the loudest music ever. And it's like, I live in New York, so I'm desensitized to a lot of sounds. They're pretty cool. Yeah. And I say to Ben, I'm like, Did you hear that? And he didn't say anything. I'm like, Okay, I'm hearing things because it's faint, and it's just a bass that I could feel in my chest. I feel like I'm having a heart attack. I'm like, Okay, whatever. I try to go back to sleep. Next day, I know. Open my eyes. Ben is standing over me. I'm like, Oh, my God. Okay. He's like, I'm sorry. I'm putting on another... We always sleep with a sound machine. He's like, I'm putting on another one. Do you hear that music? And I'm I do hear that music. We put on two sound machines, we get back in bed. The music is getting louder. It's not music, first of all. It was beats.

They were on an endless loop. I'm trying to fall asleep, and I hear literally the same eight beats, and it's just the bass, and it's thumping, thumping, thumping in my chest. We ended up putting on three sound machines and a pillow over my head, and I still could not stop the thumping. Thump, thump, thump, thump, I said, Ben, I think we have to call the police. He's like, I think so, too. So I call the police, and I'm like, By the way, immediately, I'm like, This isn't an emergency. I need to file a noise complaint. I don't know. And she was like, Okay. So she transferred me to the line where nobody picks up, right?

311? 311, yes.

Nobody picked up. Nobody picked up. And I eventually just gave up because I was wanting to go back to sleep. It was literally like that. I know you don't watch, but there's a scene in Only Murders in the Building where he calls. He's like, By the I have to report a non-urgent emergency. So they transfer him as like, You are a number. And he never gets to talk to the police. So I'm actually in hell, and I'm starting to feel like I'm in Waco. Do you remember that scene in Waco with FBI?

That's what I was just going to say. It's psychological warfare.

Jackie. I had never experienced. Obviously, I've never been to Guantanamo or anything, and I've never been tortured. But they always say playing really loud static noise or music can be considered psychological torture. And I remembered that scene from Waco, and I was like, Oh, my God. I'm literally in a cult in Waco. I was experiencing true. It was actually driving Ben to a point of craziness. I ended up checking my phone, and I texted someone who lives three blocks away from me, and they were like, Oh, man, I just woke up. Three blocks away. And I opened my window. By the way, and I know this apartment. It's a couple of buildings down for me. They have a rooftop. I say, They always are throwing parties. I hear the music. It's not a big deal. They must have been having a banger, an absolute Halloween like, smashed party. We're just laying in hell. We have four sound machines on, literally screaming. You can't. Nothing is masking the... And Ben and I look at each other and I'm like, Ben, you want to go? I said, I think it stopped. I think it stopped. But by the way, there must have been at least 100 people who called the police.

It's a very residential area. If I didn't get I'm sure somebody did because everyone was hearing it. Jackie, when we realized that it stopped, Ben started crying. Jackie, we were actually being tortured. I've never experienced anything like that in my life. And I felt phantom thumps for the next 20 minutes while I tried to fall asleep. Yeah. And not to be like such a Karen, but seriously, what are you doing? That's insane. I could sleep through a nuclear war. So for your music to have woken me up out of my sleep, you're out of line. Out of line.

Just think about their poor eardrums in the building.

I'm literally like that lady from the polling place. But you know what? I stand by what I did, and I do it again. And honestly, we saw Ben was like... I was like, I think it's over. And Ben looked out the window and we saw the rooftop clearing out. And I just want to say to There was brave men and women in blue who showed up to that dangerous job. I love you. In that moment, I wanted to... I wanted to kiss the police officer. It was so... And I'm sure they had a lot. It's Halloween weekend. There was a lot of noise complaints. I know mine wasn't important, but in that moment, I love them.

That's beautiful.

It was the actual craziest thing I'd ever experienced in my life.

That's crazy.

The next time I want to hurt someone, that's what I'm going to do.

Okay. But you also will hurt yourself.

Oh, no. I'll leave.

Okay. I'm older.

What are the stories like today?

Good. Just a lot of little stories that are cute and fun. I got hit with some sciatica.

I got shoes.

I got a major hit of sciatica right there.

Does this Tushy Pillow help you? Because it's technically for people with my issue, not yours.

It doesn't solve the problem, but it's more comfortable. It's just sitting on a comfier chair than what You know what I mean? Yeah. Can't hurt, really. When I get up, I'm a little less in pain. But no, what just happened right there, that wasn't good. It can't happen again. In a sciatica way, was not good.

Well, if that's All. That's all for me.

I think that's all for me, too. If anything else crosses my mind, I could feel free to bring it up at a later date in the show.

And I encourage that. I really do. Openness.

And I probably would. And I probably would. But for now, Without further ado, here are the fast five stories that you do need to know.

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Avara. It's Avara Girl Fall.

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Thank you, 25 turt.

You're welcome. Oh, wait. Before we dive in, a major, team made your announcement. So a couple of weeks ago, remember we made it a story, People magazine. They came out with all the nominations for Sexiest Man Live, Sexyest Podcaster Live, all those things. And we did our votes live on air.

Of course. It's a cornerstone of our year, The Sexiest Man Alive.

Well, I think as a debt, to pay us back for the fact that they nominated Josh Peck instead of Ben Soffer. People magazine actually reach out to us and asked if we wanted to reveal the first five categories. And I got to pick the categories. I picked good ones, obviously, the ones that we care about.

Person in to our situation. But I also feel not even as to make up for not nominating Ben, but I feel like they know how important the Sexiest Man Alive competition is to us, an important podcast. So it just felt, honestly, once again, synergy.

So the winners are going to be announced this week, but we are really excited to exclusively announce the first five winners of this year's polls. And we'll see if the ones that we chose ended up winning, even though we always choose the losers, the underdogs.

We do, but we still need to make our voices heard, our vote counts, turdy, the spirit of the season.

The actual, the big sexiest man alive, that gets announced November 12th. But we are going to be announcing- Let me just write That's what I got down on my calendar. That's a big day. Sexiest Musician, sexiest New Dad, sexiest Podcast Host, and the Sexiest Support Partner in Sports. Do you remember that one?

Yes. You have to remind me of the nomination.

Of course. Okay, so I'm going to go in order. Let me pull them up. Ready?

Yes.

Give me a minute. Not me being dumb. Okay, ready?

I am. I am.

First one, Sexiest Musician. The nominees were: Harry styles, role model, Zack Bryant. That didn't age well. And Shibuzi. Now, I believe I voted for Harry styles, and you voted for Shibuzi.

Agreed.

Would you like to guess the winner?

Harry styles.

The winner is Harry Style.

Very, very good.

Very good. I approve. I approve. We're one for one.

I see it.

Who is the sexiest new dad? Nominies. The nominees were: Maluma, Robert Pattyzen, Cole Tucker, and Justin Bieber.

I'm hoping for Robert Pattyzen.

We voted for Robert Pattyzen, and the winner is...

Justin Bieber.

Robert Pattyzen. Yay. We They are two for two. Look at us.

Look at us.

Next up, the most controversial category, at least for us, the sexiest podcast host. Now, the colonies were TJ Holmes of Amy & TJ, Josh Peck of Good Guys, Penn Badgley of Pod crushed, and the Kelsey Brothers of New Heights. And in a surprise to nobody, the winner is the Kelsey Brothers of the New Heights podcast.

I'm so glad Matt Trevi's the sexiest podcaster.

So, so far, we are three for three in our predictions.

Go us.

This next one, maybe not so much.

And go People magazine. I'm getting like, election integrity vibes.

Yes. Well, they say that over 340,000 people submitted their votes. Made their voices there? Yeah. Let me make sure I read that right. Yes. 340,000 votes placed. Get out the vote. Okay. The sexiest supportive partner in sports. Dominies. Jonathan Owens of Simone Biles, Andre Leveron of Sydney McLauchland-Leverone, Christian McCaffery of Olivia Culpo, and Hunter Woodall of Tara Davis.

I wouldn't be happy with any of these people winning.

Me, too. But I think the one that we knew the least about and definitely didn't vote for, the winner is...

Hunter Woodall.

Hunter Woodall and Tara Davis. Tara. Am I okay? Hunter Woodall and Tara Davis. Okay. Happy for them.

Yeah, happy for them. But they would have been my fourth choice. Agreed.

Doesn't make them less worthy, but it would win my love. No. Yeah. Okay. Now, sexiest TikTokeer.

You can't win them all.

No. Mark Estes, of Kristen Cavalari Fame. Noah Beck of Dixie D'Amelio Fame.

I love them both.

Brew on the Radio of Anna Exeter Fame.

Brew on the Radio?

Connor Wood of Toast Fame.

Is Brew on the Radio that weatherman type of guy?

No.

But he wears a suit? No. He's a suit?

No, he is on the radio.

And his name is Brew?

Yeah.

Okay.

So it's Mark Estes, Noah Beck, Brew on the radio, and Connor Wood. The winner is...

Mark Estes.

Kristin Cavalari, because Mark Estes is people's sexiest TikTokeer.

That feels right in the words of the red heads.

That feels right. Thank you to People for entrusting us with such an important role. I hope we did it justice. I feel really honored to have been included and happy to be nominated for People's Most Beautiful Woman next year if you're up for it.

I do look forward to People's Most Beautiful podcaster, but until now, the Countdown to Sexiest Man Alive is on. Other channels, Countdown to Christmas, Countdown to Halloween, The Toast, Countdown to People's Sexiest Man Alive.

Now, let's dive into the story, shall we?

We shall. Our first story, Taylor Swift calls Sabrina Carpenter from New Orleans Stage as the singer joins her for a surprise mashup of their songs. So Taylor took Eres to Nola this weekend. Lots of fun was had, lots of great surprise songs. But one show got a very special surprise in the form of Ms. Sabrina. She came to the stadium and did surprise songs with Taylor, and they mashed up Espresso, Please, Please, Please. Is it over Is it over now? Oh, my God. Seriously, someone is trying to hurt me.

By the way, in Swift Lingo, when somebody has songs that you really want, that you say, They won.

Okay, They won, but this feels targeted because not only does everybody know that the 1989 Valtracks are my favorite Valtracks and some of my favorite songs? But the Sabrina of It All?

What?

Plus sending merch now to two of my sisters? So Someone is trying to hurt me.

Now, I want to gas you up and let you know that this is about you, but I want to let you know, you're not unique in your take that the 1989 Valtracks are the best Valtracks, and probably some of Taylor's best songs ever made. Everyone thinks that.

Okay, so is there anyone out there who loves the 1989 Valtracks more than the regular?

Yeah.

Who loves Sabrina, has been streaming skin from day one, and whose two sisters got It's not Sabrina merch, and she didn't. Anyone else?

Well, I don't think the Sabrina merch part is relevant.

It's all at the same time.

No, it's definitely about you.

I'm not saying it's just about me. I'm sure the other factors came into play, like Sabrina was in Noah.

No, I'm so jealous.

She was coming off of Florida, which is so funny. I was looking at tour dates. I was like, When is she in Orlando? She had literally performed in Orlando the night before. The night before.

I was so jealous. First of all, Sabrina looked so cute. She's just like, Adorable. I just love her. And they did a rendition. Now, let me say this. They did change the key of Espresso. I think to fit Taylor's vocal, you're coming on her stage, you're going to sing in her key, and she's already singing Is It Over Now in that key, so it had to match. And I will say, arrangement-wise, it wasn't my favorite.

It wasn't The Glee Club cast.

No, it wasn't. However, lived for every minute of It wasn't about the execution. Like, literally not at all. They could have just stood there in silence.

It actually took so many times for me to see the video going viral before I actually watched it because I didn't care what it actually was. I'm like, Sabrina came out to Eres and saying her songs.

Sabrina has come out to Eres before. When she was an opener, she came out for a surprise song. They sing White Horse. So this isn't her first time, but I feel like this is her first time where she really is coming out as an equal. It's not Taylor doing a favor to the opener. It's like, Sabrina- No, it's like she did the role of Bridgers when she came out. Honestly, I think that this is more than that. I think Sabrina is having such a moment. For her to be the center of And by the way, I can't- It's like Florence. Yeah, it's like Florence.

Because Phoebe was also an opener, right?

Yes. And she came out to sing their collab, not just because Taylor wanted to geeky with her.

Okay, but so did Florence.

Yeah, that's why Sabrina's different. Taylor sang her songs. Taylor doesn't do that. Yeah. Now, of course, I can't help but think of Olivia Rodrigo in this moment because I'm toxic. Okay, yes, I'll admit that. That's on me.

But you're also just a girl.

But also Olivia Rodrigo was out and about that same weekend with her Guts tour, Netflix premiere party. Chapel Roon was there. It was just like Chapel and Olivia and Taylor and Sabrina. I'm sorry. Did you see Chapel Roon yelling at people again on the red carpet? I did.

Actually, we were going to talk about it.

Oh, great. We could talk about it as a separate story.

You know I love talking about Ms. Chapp.

I know you do. #dailydosewithjacksonchapp. Okay, back to New Orleans. Seriously jealous, actually jealous.

Yeah.

I think sometimes when we get the surprise songs, people are like, Oh, I wish I was there. I'm so jealous. When the songs are good, I'm like, That's great. I really don't have actual FOMO. Only if she ever sang Peace, the one time, that's when I was like, I should have flown to Australia. I should have flown to New I actually feel jealous of not being there.

Yeah. But who would have ever guessed?

Who would have ever guessed? I don't even know that there's a connection between Sabrina and New Orleans. I just think she happened to have been. Was she there?

You can guess that. Is that where her tour is right now? I don't know, but you couldn't have guessed. We could check, but I don't really care, too.

No. I feel like if Taylor decides she wants you, she flies you out. It doesn't matter where you are.

Yeah, but she was definitely in the region because she just in Florida.

She was in the Southeast.

Yeah, the Gulf Coast.

Was that what it's called? Because Southeast didn't sound right.

Southeast is, yeah, it's Florida.

No, I know. But when you think about regions, you think of the Northeast. That's obviously New England-y vibes. You think of the Midwest. The Southwest. Pacific Northwest. You don't think of Southeast. Why not? I don't know. They just don't call it that. They call it the South. Yeah, I guess.

The South. But weirdly, Florida is not part of the South. Well, because it was not a state.

And it's also just not Southern. Do you live beneath the Mason-Dixon?

I do, but it doesn't apply to Florida because Florida was not a state when the South was Southern.

Got it. Beneath the Mason-Dixon.

Right. But yes, geographically, I do live beneath the Mason-Dixon. That's so crazy. Of course, I do, because Florida is the Southernmost part. Of the Eastern Seaborg.

What am I thinking of? Not Pemdass. Midal? Mimal.

Mimal.

Mimal.

That little elf in the middle of the country. He's so cute.

Yeah, Mimal.

He's so cute. And he serves up Kentucky fried chicken. Go look at a map. Have you seen it? Yeah, of course. Mimal. Mimal is not just a pointless elf in the middle of the country. He's serving Kentucky chicken.

Yeah, but he's also a representative of the Mason Dixon.

He is?

Yeah. We learned about Mimal because it's M-I-M-A-L. Minneapolis. It's a bunch of states.

I thought he's a representative of the Mississippi.

Oh, maybe.

Because Mimal runs It was north to south, and I thought Mason Dixon would be an east to west. Mimal. Mimal States. Thank you. Chef Mimal. I'm seriously cracking up.

Yeah, by the way, the fried chicken has recently been added. Yeah. Mimel O. G.

And is it the Mississippi? I might have just... That, I don't stand by.

Okay, Mimel, what did we learn from Mimel?

Like that there's just the shape of the row of states looks like- They say, This is how you find Kentucky on a map. Oh, and he is serving up Kentucky on a platter of Tennessee. Okay, but- It was just a good way for kids to remember Which state is which?

No way. I thought Mimel had a greater significance. No?

I'm not seeing the Mississippi here.

Let me see. Mimel significance.

I think Mimel's significance is just cuteness.

You Yeah.

It's a map memory trick. That's all it is.

You're kidding me. Okay, that sucks. No, it's cute. I thought it had a deeper meaning.

It's like a little belly.

So me.

Of Missouri and Arkansas.

What if he's written, Mimel on my upper thymal, inly in my, Mimel, Mimel, Mimel. It makes you think.

It does make you think. I think we should go on a Mimal tour. So down. And we should only go to States. And we'll add privacy.

Let's just drive from the top, Mimel down. We'll take it from the top. We'll do the Mimel gizmo. For the next tour. We'll only go in a Mimal States.

And it's the center of the country. So anyone can come make a trip of it. It's inclusive. We'll meet you in the middle.

We'll meet you in the Mimal. Oh, Mimal. Oh, Why can't you just meet me in the Mimel? Get you a podcast that's going to talk to you about Mimel. Nobody else is having these conversations.

No, nobody else is. It's like, Where were you when we were learning about Mimel?

Correct. Oh, my God.

Now, I'm just seeing funny Mimel takes.

Mimel memes?

She's on Mimel Talk. I'm only interested in Mimel memes because somebody said that Tennessee is not actually the pattern. It's a big Mimal penis.

Mimal has a bone there. The Mimal community's got jokes. I love that.

Mimal lor, greater than...

No, Jackie, Mimal lor runs to you. It does.

Well, hopefully the tectonic plates don't shift anytime soon because we heart Mimal. Conserve Mimal.

Save a horse, ride a Mimal.

Are you ready for our next story?

I am. A little more to- Only if it's It's not, but maybe we could find a way to get him in there.

Okay. I don't see how, but stranger things have happened. A little more tour news as Adele bursts into tears as she embraces Céline Dion during her Las Vegas residency. So Adele broke down into tears when she spotted Céline Dion sitting in the audience at her Las Vegas residency show at the Coliseum Theater in Caesars Palace on Saturday. And you know what? Actually, the stadium that Taylor played at was the Caesars as well.

Yes, because a lot of people I don't realize you can gamble in New Orleans. There's a Caesars.

That's the top of the... It's like, who owns Caesars? What is it in service to? Just the hospitality industry?

Yeah, it's the biggest. It's like an MGM. It's the biggest.

Got it. Okay. She She's a billionaire. She was at Caesar's Superdome. Céline's at Caesar's Palace.

Yeah. The theater that Adele performs in, so funny, when I went to see Adele, I was going with Brian, who's like, Céline Dion is the number one fan. He was excited to see Adele, but he was obviously He was wishing Céline Dion were there. Yeah. He just kept referring to the theater as the house that Céline Dion built. I'm like, Okay, calm down.

No, seriously, Adele paying homage to Céline Dion and him not being there is Taylor bringing out Sabrina and me not being there.

And us not being there.

I can sympathize with him.

Honestly, for Adele, it's probably the sickest thing that Céline came. One, because if you're just a female singer, these days, Céline raised you. She is your biggest influence and icon. So to see her come to your show, that's huge. Obviously, the significance of the Vegas residency in the same exact theater. It must be... It's like a passing of the torch. Although they are saying that Céline is going to return to Vegas, but they've been saying that for a while, but they are saying that.

Well, I feel like she could. It might not be happening, but It doesn't mean it's not going to happen.

Also, Adele is wrapping it up. Like Adele said, she's going to be finishing this soon. Yeah.

So it was really nice- Maybe that leaves space. Moment between the icons, betwixt the icons.

Yeah, it was. One thing about Adele, she's going to cry at show, and I love that.

Especially when she's singing When We Were Young, which is when... I'm pretty sure that she was doing her When We Were Young walk.

Yeah, she only leaves the stage for When We Were Young, and she walks around and sees people that she knows or says hi to fans. So the only time she would have seen Céline Dion is during the walk. And by the way, she's going to cry during that song, and so am I. That song really does something to me.

Especially that song, coupled with seeing Céline, who probably raised her, harking back to When We Were Young. It's a lot. It's a lot Emotionally.

That song, to me, it's on my list with In Case You Don't Live Forever by Ben Platt. They're a few songs I will always cry.

I can handle it.

Oh, my God. No, I actually can't handle it. When I saw it live, I was literally crying. And she was so close to me, too.

If I saw it live, I'd probably cry, but I can listen to it on my iPod.

Oh, I can't listen to it on my iPad without getting a little tear, especially if I'm on an airplane, it's over for you, bitches.

I can't listen to anything on an airplane.

Also, I can't watch that music video where she's literally singing live in a studio. It's this...

It's Pardjilish.

It's Pardjilish. I think it's one of her best songs.

I agree. Are you ready for our next story? Yeah. Little Timothée Chalamet news. Oh, my God. It's actually a lot of Timothée Shalameh's news because Timothée Chalamet crashed a Timothée Chalamet lookalike contest before the police dispersed the crowd and detained one person. So the internet is in a frenzy- Tizy.over this.

It's hysterical.

Please just shut down a Timothée Shalameh lookalike concert.

So on Sunday- Contest.

Contest. Sorry, I'm in concert mode.

Yeah.

On Sunday, fans who organized the Timothée Chalamet lookalike competition and promoted it with posters around the city experienced multiple surprises at the event in New York City's Washington Square Park. First, Timothée Chalamet himself surprised the crowd at the unofficial competition. Video of his arrival was captured by the AP and fans on X, showing him waving greeting fans, and posing for photos as he pushed his way through the crowd. Then, NYPD officers quickly arrived on the scene to try and disperse the crowd for gathering without a permit. Nbc reported a police spokesperson told the outlet that at least one person was detained and issued summances. A video shared by one attendee to ex alleged that the event's organizer was arrested. So presumably, a Timothée Chalamet was arrested.

I like how you can seriously assault someone in New York and walk away scotfree. Oh, but you're gathering in the park without a permit to talk about Timothée Chalamet? Summons for you. Yeah.

That's why they didn't answer your call.

The funny thing about this is it was a community event. I don't think it was going to be largely attended. It was just for freaks. And Timothée obviously heard about it. He saw an opportunity to do something hilarious, and he took it. And honestly, I feel like when we talk about Timothée Chalame, I never get the hype. I never get the lour. He's really not for me. Not in a bad way. I'm sure he's lovely. It's just not... Even with the Kylie, I'm like, Okay. But this points to someone who's actually funny and has a good personality and can take a joke, and this actually makes me like him.

This is so funny. I would never in a million years ever understand or guess why he did this. Do you know what I mean? Even if it's a funny thing, oh, they're dressing up like you. He's so serious for him to go and have a silly moment.

I feel like maybe we don't know him. I think he does serious acting roles.

We don't know him.

I can say firmly, we I don't know him. So maybe he is actually personality. If you think about who Kylie... Kylie's really goofy.

She is silly.

She is. She needs that silly, goofy energy, maybe offline, when he's not... Do you see that picture of him making out with Gwyneth Paltrow?

Yeah, for their movie.

That was really crazy to say.

Yeah.

Maybe he does serious roles, but in his personal life, he loves to joke around. Maybe he's a little bit of a class clown.

Yeah, but to me, it's like you can be silly and joke around, but the fact that he did this, it breaks my brain a little bit. I could have bet a million dollars that he would never, ever, ever do something like this. Which I guess is why it's great that he did, but I'm really actually so confused.

Because he doesn't also acknowledge his fans a lot. If he ever was going to, I need him to address Club Chalamet.

No. I also feel like the only way he would ever go to something like this is if he was just walking in the park and saw there was a Timothée Chalamet competition. So he was like, Oh, okay.

No, but he sought it out. I'll saunter over.

Because How can you ignore it? But the fact that it was pre-planned, pre-meditated.

It definitely gives, at least for me, like Timothée Chalamet. I am seeing him in a new light.

I'm seeing him in a light of, I don't know this him. Not that I thought I did, not that I would, because I don't know him. He's not my friend. But that I have to rethink everything I thought about Timothée Chalmet.

I just want to say this is a very big positive in my Timothée Chalamet column, which otherwise didn't exist before yesterday.

Oh, no, I have a big positive, and it's the Kylie stamp of approval. That's like, I don't need anything else, but thanks.

No, and did you see some of the lookalikes? They really looked alike.

Yeah. I'm glad that people have a place to go to talk about this.

It's funny, though, that he was immediately recognized. Wouldn't your natural inclination be to think, Oh, this guy's the winner? It was a part of a skit for one of those late night shows, but in the UK, where Adele went to an Adele Drag Queen competition. She went as herself, but they did give her a prosthetic note. It wasn't just playing Adele. She was talking to the other participants, and it's a really funny, famous video. It reminded me of that, except that he just went as himself. I'm surprised that there wasn't mass confusion at first.

Right. That people would even notice him because everybody's looking like him, and maybe he just really, really looks like him.

The lookalikes were professional grade. They really looked alike.

Like a Like a lookalike.

Like a lookalike.

That was cute and fun.

It was. Love to see Timmy getting in on the joke and not taking himself so seriously.

Agreed. Are you ready for our next story? Is it the fourth? It's the four. It's about someone who takes himself very seriously.

Is it the fourth that's brought to you by Amazon Live? Perchance?

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Now, you're going to talk I'm just going to go off camera and pick my camel toe, but I'm listening.

Okay, sounds good. Good luck with that. Our next story is about the aforementioned Chapel Roan confrontation with rude photographer at Olivia Rodrigo's film premiere. So one, Olivia Rodrigo premiered her film, Guts World Tour, which is very exciting for Ms. Rodrigo and for anyone who didn't get a chance to see the tour or who did and wants to relive it. Also, let's not let the good get lost in the drama. Of course. Right. She adds to Ms. Olivia.

Yeah, and I wonder if Olivia is mad at all that the story of her premiere is about this. Definitely not. But at least people are talking about her premiere.

Definitely not. Like, all press is good press. Chapel Rome snapped at a photographer on the red carpet for the Guts World Tour movie premiere in LA on Friday, claiming he had been disrespectful to at a previous event.

She clocked him so quickly. She stood there and she recognized that guy immediately, stopped everything and walked up to him, finger in his face.

While posing on the red carpet, she walked over to the photogs face and said, You were so disrespectful to me at the Grammys. You yelled at me at a Grammy party. The individual was not shown on camera, but he seemed to disagree with her account of events. She said, Yes, I remember you were so rude to me. And she said, I need an apology for that. In the middle, her- Yeah, you do. You need to apologize to me.

In the middle, you can also see her very scared-looking blonde publicist coming over and trying to mitigate, but not even trying, just standing there. I feel as though there are two schools of thought here. People either feel like, Oh, my God, this miserable girl, again, being miserable, yelling at people. Not okay. Or the other school of thought is like, It's nice to see, finally, a young woman in the industry standing up for herself and taking control of whatever. I don't know what they're saying, but some people think this is fab, and some people are like, seriously dreadful.

Yeah.

Now, in a surprise to nobody, I subscribe to the more dreadful school of thought. No matter what happened at the Grammy Party, we actually don't know. So what do we see here? A famous rich celebrity yelling at a worker. That's never a good look, in my opinion. If you've ever been near a red carpet, it actually sounds crazy because there's one person take a picture and all these photographers are, To your left, to your left. They are. They scream like animals, and that's very much like paparazzi culture and red carpet culture. They need to get their photo. Please, chapel here, chapel here, chapel here. I'm sure what she's describing is a version of that. Maybe this person just had a really loud, annoying scream. I don't know. I just don't think you should yell at people.

Is this different than the person on the Grammys carpet who she was yelling at? No, sorry, VMAs. That was the VMA. So yes, it is different. This was a Grammys party. So this is not something that we saw.

The incident that she's referring to, we have no visuals of. Got it. So we can't reference. All we see is a big celeb yelling at a poor little photographer.

Yeah, I, for a couple of reasons, I'm in the second camp as well. This isn't female empowerment to me. And as far as She's a good publicist trying to mitigate the chap damage, her publicist needs to let chap be chap.

And by the way, she really did not try. She just stood there. I think her publicist does let chap be chap.

And I think a good publicist for chap should actually say, This is chap being chap, and these are chap's big moments, and this is what chap is about, and her fans love this about her. And this should actually be an all-press is good press thing for Camp Chap.

Chap going to chap.

Chap is going to chap. And all of you are trying to stop her You're wasting your time. Now, if you don't like chap-chapping, then you can be like me who does not participate in any of your chapery. I do not engage. I do not listen. I'm enjoying my life.

Yeah.

And then Chappin does not bother me.

No. I think that it's exactly what you said. People like Chaperone, and when they see her doing stuff like this, they can reason with it. It is empowering. She's a young woman taking control of her image in the media or whatever. They think that. Then other people who don't die for Chaperone, they see someone getting yelled at, and they're like, Stop yelling. I I agree with you.

The red carpet can be a very overwhelming, over-stimulating place, especially she struggles with her newfound theme. She's shared a lot about her mental health concerns. Maybe skip the red carpet.

Yeah, although she does, and I'm sure she gets invited to a lot of things, and she doesn't really go to much, given how famous she is. But she does always show up for Olivia Rodrigo. She opened for Olivia Rodrigo, I think in... I don't know if it was Guts or sour, but a lot of her success had to do with her opening and people really learning about her from the Olivia Rodrigo tour. And so she performed with Olivia Rodrigo when she invited her on stage, I think in the LA show at the Guts tour. I think she feels almost indebted to Olivia Rodrigo.

She always shows up for her. I understand that. I understand that. It's more than just like, I want to support my friend. Because if you want to support your friend, you can go to the premiere and also skip the red carpet because you got to protect you. But if it is someone, if you were at any work event, I feel like anyone could relate to this. Like someone who it's a little work, a little quid pro quo. They did this, I'll do this. Exactly. That's exactly what it is. And that's how you support your friends and business associates.

Especially as a pop star.

Not just coming to eat popcorn and watch the movie. I'm going to be here publicly for you.

Bringing my celebrity, my name and likeness. Yeah, that's what she's doing.

And bringing my brand of chap. Sprinkle a little chap on the whole thing.

Just doing a little chap over here. A little chap dance.

I actually, as much as I don't participate in Chapel Roon, I actually love I'm talking about her.

Me too. I can't believe, of all the videos and angles we got of this interaction, I didn't see one angle of the actual photographer, which is nice. Like, protect this photographer's privacy. I think it's for the best. But were they shook? Were they angry? Were they embarrassed?

It's better if we don't see the photographer because then the chap stands. They can't be staff.

They're going to dox this photographer.

What do they call themselves? The Ronies?

The Roninds.

You're lying.

I'm lying.

I I have to say that up. Oh my God, because I love that. I have respect.

No, actually, you know what I was thinking the other day? Because Lady Gaga has been talking about a lot of the new music she's releasing. When we were talking about Stan hood names, we didn't talk about Lady Gaga's. And broadly enough, Lady Gaga's makes the least sense. The Little Monsters. But really took on... People really call themselves that. And it caught on more so than, I think, a lot of other fanhood names for artists who are bigger or smaller than Lady Gaga. Yeah.

But I think she fosters that environment because she is just so dynamic. Also, I think the original one, someone said that this actually was the original fandom, and that invented fandoms, is the Beliebers.

Oh, yeah.

Because even back in the day, were the Beatles swirleys?

No, they had Beatlemania. That was what it was called, but that wasn't the name of the fans.

Someone said the first standem with a name was the Beliebers, and it all happened from there. Now, I don't know of a standem from before the Beliebers.

No, that predates.

But the Beliebers is a pargylicious name for a fandom.

It's beautiful. I love it because it's like, punny. I love it.

Yeah. Even when we were obsessed with Jonas Brothers back in the day, we didn't have a group name.

Yeah. What are the Jonas Brothers names of the fans?

Now they might have come up with one, but when I'm Hot, You're Cold, we did not have a name.

No, we needed one.

We did. Same with Hannah Montana stands. Now, as you say, they're the Smilers. Smizers. Oh, no, Smilers. No, that's Tyra Banks.

Yeah, I'm a smizer.

Then, we were just a couple girls with a dream. Freaks.

Yeah. That's funny. Little Monsters came to mind as one that... I don't know what the correlation is between Little Monsters and Stephanie of Lady Gaga, but I don't know how linguistically we connected it.

Oh, it was from one of her songs.

Was it? Well, I just watched the Glee episode. They did a Gaga episode in season one, so it's 2010. And even then, they were referring to themselves as Little Monster. So it really has... It has legs.

Yeah. Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Oh my God. Bitting is such sweet sorrow.

It is. It's already been an hour. What the fuck did we talk about?

I don't know. I talked for a while about my sound, complaint, noise thing, and it was dreadful. As As I was telling the story, I'm like, You really had to be there because I don't know if anyone's going to care. I'm just going to get hate for abusing police resources.

No, I think that that's exactly what 311 is for.

I called 911.

You said it's not an emergency. I think you went about it in the right way.

I just know I'm going to get hate in some way for calling me a narc or something. The story wasn't even funny to say. I thought it was- You thought it was chill. When I was actively living through it, I'm like, At least I have a good story to on the chose down Monday. I don't know, there's something that wasn't funny about the way I told it, or maybe it just wasn't a funny story. You really had to be there.

I don't know. Also, sometimes when you go through something dreadful, it's like, the only thing worse than going through it is by- Hearing about it second-hand. Extending the life of it by continuing to relive it, right?

Yeah. I want to acknowledge, I know I'm funnier than that story. I'm really sorry for me if you guys sit through that.

It's okay. You're allowed to tell a story.

And like, halfway through the story, I wish I didn't even start. You know? Oh, turdy. You never had that?

Oh, turdy.

Listen, I have a high bar of excellence for this show. Sorry.

I understand.

When we're slinging jokes like Mimel, you obviously have a high bar.

I completely agree. Mimel's BDE.

Mimel is the bar for me. If it's not as funny, unique, or as nostalgic as Mimel, I don't want to hear it on the podcast.

Throw it in the bin.

Yeah.

Well, our fifth and final story is actually a little British news. Speaking of throwing it in the bin, Real House Eyes of London is coming in 2025. Live from Hiyou and the Made in Chelsea producer. So major NBC Universal news, Real House Eyes of London is coming to NBC Universal. The M&M Smith was delivered on Saturday night after Real House Eyes host and executive producer Andy Cohen Panel at the first ever Hiyou Fan Fest in London. Now, don't ask me what Hiyou is, okay?

I can tell you it's like Bravo. I think it's also Canada. In different countries, Europe, I think Canada, Bravo is like Hiyou. That's like the channel you watch it on or They're always coming up on social media. They do actually really good TikToks and stuff. I have heard of it many times, and it's clear they had their own Bravo con of sorts.

Got it. The event featured panels with Real House Rives US cast members Lisa Barlow, Sutton Strack, Foster, Jessel, Ashley Darby. We're all there. And then they announced that Real House Rives of London is coming with a production ID for Q1 2025. I love this. This is major for a number of reasons. Now, for me, it's the Ladies of London. I love the London Lore of it all. Of course. They walked. Ladies of London walked so Real House Eyes of London could run. I will 100% give this a shot because I actually just like everything that's set in London. I even watch selling London, which I wouldn't recommend. I hope that they choose maybe one or two ladies from Ladies of London who are perfect for reality TV, like Juliet and Julie.

Except the thing about Ladies of London was because it wasn't a Real Housewives franchise, I feel like they really wanted to make it distinct from what would have been a Real Housewives of London. They focused a lot on aristocracy and things like that. Whereas I actually think the cool socialite women of London, they don't really fuck like that. I feel like a lot of them are influencers.

I think that- But I do think it's still embedded. I think the history and aristocracy is embedded a little bit into society.

They were just obsessed with getting people who were even remotely connected, like Earle They had a really nice blend, which I thought was what made it so great.

I actually think they should try and replicate for Real Housewise of London, where it's like, Julie was... Or sorry, both actually. Juliet. Juliet and Juliet are actually both American, but Julie married Earle of Sandwich. They go to the estate and they have that, and she's running a manor.

She was really the only one who added a real connection to royalty on that show. No.

There was a lot of connections.

Oh, the Danish girl.

She was actually a Danish princess. Caroline Stanbury comes It's from an aristocratic family. Of course, Caprice. She was linked with Prince. What's the one?

Don't- Who's the one?

Andrew, right? Andrew. Yeah, the one that- Don't bring back Ladies of London.

Don't bring on Real House Size of London if you're not going to include Caprice, okay?

I actually would. If you were doing Real House Size of London, I wouldn't change a hair on its head of the cast. Then we had Juliet, who was an American transplant, who was an influencer.

Marissa Hermer.

Marissa Hermer. She was super modern. Annabelle, the late Annabelle. Yes, she passed. She's dead, right? She was Alexander McQueen's muse, best friend of K-Maw. It was really. No, you're right.

They were at least like, I feel like sometimes they'll go to a city and they'll get people who are seriously not wealthy, not connected, not famous, not anything. I'm like, Why are we watching this band of yellowbelly losers? For real. With Ladies of London, every single person brought something to the table, whether it was fashion, whether it was money, whether it was They really did a great job of casting. Maybe the stigma in London is different because I know a lot of times when they go to a town and they want to do a real house, I was like, The actual women who you would want, the really famous, well-connected husbands who are billionaires, they want nothing to do with these types of shows. That's true everywhere. You think?

Yes.

Even London? Maybe there's not a stigma like that.

Maybe there's not. But I think most people just, at that level, want privacy and have negative associations with reality TV. However, I think a lot of maybe aristocratic old money families where the money is drying up, I see this as an opportunity, especially if you live on or you own a country estate that's like, you need to- Millions of dollars a year. Generate some money. This is the perfect thing to pair it with because that has done well for people in the past. Just like, I mean, it's a little different, but the Downton Abbey estate is now could thrive for 100 more years off of that.

It's self-sufficient. So I think there's endless potential for this show.

And it would be nice to get or two of the ladies from Ladies of London, but you don't have to. But the work is done for you. I gave you a perfect routine.

It's really crazy that there hasn't been a Real Housewives of London. It's not like there hasn't been international franchises. We have Dubai. We have Cheshire.

It's said in here, this will be the 30th international iteration of Housewives. And yeah, Real Housewives of Cheshire, which focused on the lives of women in the English country, aired for 17 seasons so far. But the thing is- I think I need to watch that.

But the thing is, by the way, I I've heard, I think I watched a couple of episodes when it first came out, I've heard it as the craziest, funniest thing. But there is a weird delineation when it comes to international franchises that play in America. So you said there's 30. I only know of Dubai that plays in the States on Bravo proper. Even Cheshire, which I'm familiar with, doesn't play on Bravo here in America.

Right. So I am hoping that Ladies of London will play here.

Maybe Peacock.

And yes, maybe Peacock to MBC. But then you also have to think about language, because there's a lot of other international professional iterations. But if the language barrier is not conducive, so maybe that's why they're not played here. I'm hoping that Ladies of London, I don't have to watch it on a VPN, and I can just enjoy with everyone.

This is really fabulous.

Sorry, Ladies of London, Real House, Eyes of London. So you guys- So you're the same thing. Okay, so for the person who's targeting me with Sabrina and Taylor is also looking out for me by giving me this. What the universe giveth, it taketh away.

A thousand %.

Those are the fast five stories. I feel as though you needed to know them.

Me too. That's our show.

That is our show. We've got a big week.

Right. Only two more toasts till Toast-a-Ween.

And what's so crazy is by the end of this week, it will be November. And I feel like not enough people are talking about that. That's really crazy. That's really crazy. Then we're in the holidays, and we've done it.

I'm so thankful. I'm so thankful.

I'm so excited to switch gears.

Me too. So thank you guys so much for listening to the Tesla Monday morning share. We deliver the fast-size stories. You need to know everybody on the Friday, on YouTube. So you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe me this video. Thumb up. We're also available as a podcast, and we're a podcast to be found. So that's Spotify. It's your public video, or your favorite cast, box all the places. We're listening to a podcast, find us a stories, we have a story about a beautiful setting, and wickedly talented we are.

Love you. Bye.