Transcript of Keep Your Man Ugly: Monday, December 2nd, 2024

Good morning, millennials. Welcome back

to the Toast, and happy Monday that if there ever were a Monday, today would be the 1.

If there ever were a Monday. It's so funny how last week we were going on and on about how the days and feel like the days and how silly are we because the rest of the year is just we could write it off. No. We got hit over the head with a Monday.

Jay, I don't even know how we can continue on, like, seriously even begin the show without acknowledging where the hell you are, you guys. Jackie? Studio nueva. Studio nueva. Studio nueva.

Not? On YouTube, you're probably like, what holiday extravaganza is Jackie filming from? Yeah. She really wanted to promote JSNO, so she rented this studio.

This is for Jizzno. No. I have so much to update you guys on. I have a new studio. No.

I'm kidding. We've been talking about a rebrand. This is it. No. I am in Dallas, and we had to do toastiness today.

And so I booked a studio here in Dallas, and so far it's been so pargy. And I didn't expect such festivity, but I'm loving it because I am so the elk of a spirited woman.

No. And the thing is, and this is not gonna be a relatable sentiment to our listeners. So you guys, I apologize. But when you are, like, as homegrown as we are, everything we do, our studio, we built ourself, our tech, we run ourself. To just walk into a studio and have everything done for you, like, okay.

Am I Mariah Carey? It's like, Claudia, I

was just about to say it's Mariah Carey.

And you have nothing to worry about. Like, I sit here in my studio while we record Fake it. And every probably 10 minutes, you probably see my eyes. I just check to make sure we're still recording, that the camera hasn't died. Like, I'm always checking my things.

You have a staff. Okay, staff.

Yeah. No. So I'm just kind of, like, talent today. Yeah. Walked in the studio.

Went to work. My brother-in-law drove me to work this morning.

Oh, wow.

I've got my thermos full of coffee.

You're so stubborn. Again.

I'm so but the thing, because I already live in the suburbs. I'm so Texan. You are. I'm so Texan.

This ain't true. And it's

been great. And this is, like, a really great way for us to travel and work and

It's so true, by the way.

If see the great studios of America.

If you know you know, barring there's no, like, tech issues afterwards and I'm able to get the episode up, like, you are free to move to Dallas. I'm loving this studio that you're at. This curtain is gorgeous. And we'll just have to get you, like, some wallpaper, and you're good.

Yeah. Also, I just feel like every studio brings its own energy. And not only does this studio give me a je ne sais quoi, I had the worst night's sleep of my entire life

last night. Yeah. That's what happened.

The, like, I couldn't fall asleep, stay asleep. The boys were, like, up, you know, rotating alarms. I think my Oura ring in total said I got, like, 4 hours of sleep. They're concerned over at Oura. They're like, girl Headquarters.

Stop what you're doing.

They're having a meeting about it.

Also, the craziest thing happened to me this weekend. What? Oh.

Did I

even tell you this?

Well, no. You didn't because you've literally been ignoring me for for weeks. I haven't spoken to you, seriously, since the toast on Thursday, Wednesday.

I have not spoken to you. I mean, we did finally FaceTime last night so you could see the details. I didn't we didn't even have swirly chat, so we haven't swirly chatted since the toast on Tuesday.

I seriously know nothing about you. I don't know where you are.

Know nothing about you.

And you don't even know what, like, what I've been through this weekend.

No. We have so much to catch up on, like, on a swirly level before we even get into the past 5.

Which are juicy.

What happened to me? I don't know if you heard through the grapevine, but, like, I was struck down on Saturday. I had the worst stomach bug. 24 hours.

Oh my god. Both ends?

Not get out of bed. What'd you say? Both ends?

I know you don't like to talk about it.

Not not neuro style. Just, like, just so strange. I was going around that. Wow. It was, like, nausea and and bellyache in the morning and then I took a Zofran so that sort of subsided, but then I just had, like, body aches and chills for the, and I went to sleep at 8 o'clock and I woke up around 8 o'clock, not the greatest sleep, and I felt so much better the next day.

It was really just 24 hours. It was the craziest thing.

But, you know, notovirus is going around.

I can't say. I've had no nononovirus, and it wasn't that. It was just a some something.

It's disgusting what they're trying to do to you. Maybe it's because you abandoned your family and God wanted to punish you because you literally Maybe.

Or maybe you wanted to punish me, so you sent me

A bottle. No 1 in a bottle.

Tell the Lannisters it was me. That's terrible.

I'm really sorry. Like, nothing ruins a holiday weekend more than both ends.

Yeah. It wasn't it it wasn't like like that, but, I guess for drama's sake.

Yeah.

Yeah. It was both ends. Crazy.

She's crazy.

So, yeah, I just it's not been a restful weekend last night. Barely slept. And all is to say that will contribute to the energy today

Got it.

Whatever that energy may be.

So you're kinda, like, letting everyone know, like, you're on your period, kind Like, if you have a bit of an attitude today, that's why. That's then that's everyone knows why I used to share my periods. Oh, I wanted to talk about periods.

That's not what I was trying to say. I'm just, like, I just think today's gonna be different from all other episodes.

Oh, wow. Okay. It's different.

Right? I mean, look around. It's already different.

It's already different. She has a curtain.

Feast dragon. And if you're listening as a podcast The

curtains match the drapes.

We'll post stuff to the Instagram so you don't miss. It's Marbles Herman. Yeah.

Wait. I had something to say. Oh, you know, I was thinking yesterday about something I've always thought about, like, being pregnant is like, oh, like, a nice fun bonus of being pregnant in addition to, you know, the joy of life is, like, you don't get your period for, like, a year. Right? Right.

And so it occurred to me, like, over the weekend. It's been a couple of months since I got my period. And let me tell you, I don't care. Like, I would take my period over some of the side effects I'm experiencing. Like, it's literally not a perk.

No. Like, pregnancy symptoms are extreme period symptoms.

They're not even remotely on the same level.

Which you'll make up for all the bleeding that you miss In the hospital. Postpartum. Yeah. I You got a lot of bleeding to catch up on.

I'm here just to constantly remind everyone about the perks and the downfalls, and there are definitely more, like, negatives than there perks. I discovered a few perks this weekend. Like, Romeo shit his crate, and I walked in to wake him up, and the room smelled. And I'm like, did somebody die? It was so smelly.

And then I opened the crate, and I was like, and I literally, like, went running out of the room gagging, and it was such an ordeal to clean it up. And I didn't have to do any of it. Like, Ben did it all. So there are, you know, small silver linings to this journey.

Now let me ask you, In what world would Romeo have shot his crate, pregnant or not pregnant, and you would be cleaning it up instead of Ben?

So funny because I shared this on my Instagram and I got that reception a lot, and I'm shocked that people would think that, like, I would let Ben clean up duty. Like, he's such an insufficient cleaner and, you know, okay. Cleaning a dish is different than cleaning up duty. Like, in my home, anytime Romeo has had an accident, like, doing all the laundry and, like, spraying down the crate, that's obviously me. I I was surprised that so many people thought, like, that would be a Ben job no matter what.

Like, are you guys crazy? I would never leave him in charge of fecal matter in the home. It's too serious. It's too grave.

Of the sanitation department. You're right. Did he complete the task?

He did. And I you know, with a watchful eye behind him,

I was really being Right. With his supervisor.

I was being really nutty. Oh, also, so much going on, first of all. So if you're a Patreon member, you know this already, but over the weekend, we dropped 2 fabulous episodes. 1 of them was Ben and I. We recorded a Patreon over Thanksgiving Day weekend.

So many people have been wanting to hear from Ben, like, post pregnancy. It was the funniest episode. And it was supposed to be about, like, pregnancy and, like, the journey and fatherhood, and it was. But, like, there was a big chunk in the middle, probably, like, 25 minutes that just became a referendum on hygiene. And we had this big conversation about teeth brushing.

I don't know if you

know this. Like, I have a husband, and I'm glad that I shared it because it turns out a lot of people do. I have a husband who, like, I fight with to brush his teeth. Like, it's like I have to beg and plead, like, get on my knees. Okay?

And then we had a bunch of, like, dental professionals in the comments sounding off. And I just wanted to ask, if you had to choose 1 time of day to brush your teeth, like, for that would be, like, the most impactful, when do you think it would be?

The morning.

So it actually turns out that what they say in the dental field is, like, you brush your teeth in the morning for the world, but you brush your teeth at night for your dentist. Like, for the actual health of your teeth, it's much more important to brush at night, and that's why I'm always fighting Ben. Apparently, like, it's a thing that men do. Like, they don't brush their teeth at night. And, oh my god, it was so funny on the podcast.

Do you ever have to, like, push him to brush his teeth in the morning?

No. And so this is Ben's, like, philosophy. He brushes his teeth in the shower. He leaves his toothbrush and his toothpaste in the shower, and he always showers in the morning. So sometimes he showers before bed and then he'll brush his teeth, but, like, to him, like, taking the toothbrush out of the shower and bringing it to the sink is, you know, such a journey that he just couldn't possibly bear the brunt of it.

So sometimes he ends up not brushing his teeth, and I seriously have gotten to the habit of being like, I'm going to brush my teeth. Should we do it together? Like, making it a fun activity. Like, it Maybe you could

get him a toothbrush shaped like an airplane.

I've actually gotten then another toothbrush for him that we leave at the sink. So you have your sink toothbrush?

A a toothbrush shaped like a fork.

Jackie, I left him a toothbrush at the sink. And then so he has 1 in the shower. He doesn't have to move it, and then 1 in the sink. Cut to a few weeks later, he was, like, went to go brush his teeth, and he's using my toothbrush. And I said, what are you doing?

He said, this is my toothbrush. I said, no. It's fucking not. So we can't even we can't handle having 2 toothbrushes at the sink.

I just want you to know, like, if someone's listening to this episode, maybe their first time or they stumble here by accident and they don't know that Ben is your husband, like, they would assume he's your child. Having to convince him to brush his teeth, you bought him a special toothbrush

Yeah.

For outside of the shower.

Well, sometimes it does feel like I am his mother. Like, this morning, I had to call him into the kitchen and being like, listen. You're not in trouble. But we I love to hand wash dishes. I actually feel like it's like, sometimes the dishwasher just gives you, like, yucky vibes.

So certain things, if there's not raw meat, like, we use a knife to cut a vegetable, it could be hand washed.

Well, knives should be hand washed anyway.

Yes. Of course. I do know that, but I'm just using it as an example. So we have this drying rack, and when I come in the morning, like, there's a couple of dishes on the drying rack that are dry. And almost every single 1 of them still has food on it.

So I had to call him in and be like, listen. I wanna talk to you about something. You're not in trouble, but, like, this is unacceptable. With a supervisor. Like, you can't put away dishes with food.

And he seriously, he had the absolute audacity to say to me, listen. I tried my best.

A for effort.

I'm like, that's unacceptable. This isn't like a test on math. You didn't try your best. You just didn't try. Like, the spoon was still sticky.

Weaponized incompetence. Yeah. That is a classic case.

I'm trying to get all of this under control before, you know, god willing, the baby comes because, like, I can't live like this. 2 children. I can't.

No. No. Now is the time. That is so funny that your version of nesting is like boot camp.

It's literally boot camp. All I have to say, there's a great new Patreon episode that you guys are gonna love, so head over to patreon.com/thetoast. And let's talk about our holiday weekends because I kicked off the holiday going to the parade, which I had talked to everyone about, like, how excited I was. And, of course, like, the year that I get to go to the Thanksgiving Day parade, front row seats, VIP treatment is the day of, like, the biggest storm. Apparently, New York has been experiencing droughts.

I had no idea. So it was, like, a good storm, but definitely, like, took its toll on the parade. I think I got sick. Like, it was just it was a lot for 1 person.

I'm so sorry. And it affected me too because I was really excited to look for Kogers. Where's Kogers in

the crowd?

And by the time like, we are on an hour delay here, so, like, by the time I turned on the parade, like, you were gone

in real time. Me and Ben were, like, shuffling in and out, which, like, you weren't supposed to do once you get to your seats. Like, you're really not supposed to move, but I'm sorry. Like, we were sitting in the torrential rain, and they had this, like, fabulous little lounge inside with, like, ton of food and stuff. So we kept, like, going back and forth, but, also, it we very quickly realized our seats were, like, 3 seats off camera.

Like, we were just out of the view. So even when I was there, like,

for 10 feet from

the sky. No 1 was seeing me, which was just it was definitely upsetting, except that I wore this coat, and they made me put a they didn't make me, but they gave out these ponchos. And, like, I'm sitting in the rain, so I'm wearing the poncho. And something about the way the poncho laid on my jacket, I actually looked like a linebacker. Like, I looked huge.

I had this, like, hump, like like a turtle. Like, I had this shell on my back. And I actually turtle? I did not wanna be seen. Turtle the turtle.

I didn't wanna be seen on television, so I was actually grateful for the seats. But it was star studded. Let me tell you. Who was I sitting next to? Jessica Chastain and her kids

and her husband?

Everything. Skylar Astin. Obviously, it's not

Did you talk to anyone?

I spoke to Ben. Oh, and then You

were sitting next to Jessica Chastain. Like, was there a word exchange?

So the thing is is that Jessica Chastain and I both actually follow each other on social media, and I believe we've DM'd, like, once or twice. We're working.

That's always so awkward whether or not it's an a list star. Like, a girl from your town that you both follow, and then you, like, run into each other, and it's like, why do we follow each other?

Yeah. Like, I kind of wish she wasn't there, honestly. Like, it was so awkward. And so when she came, she was, like, with her kids, and she was, like, clearly in mom mode and also very flustered because she also was sitting in the rain.

And I'm what It's flustered and flustered.

Jackie, I'm gonna go up to her and be like, hi, Jessica. I'm girl in the jar.

No. But, like, if you were sitting next to her, like, oh, 0, like, a little I was like, oh my god. It's there

was, like, 3 people between us.

Oh, like, oh, it's freezing. Just a little something. You know?

Yeah. I didn't wanna bother her, and I actually have no regrets about not bothering her. Like, she was, seriously, she looked just like anyone else, like a really involved, kind of overwhelmed parent.

Understood. And Skyler Aston?

Skyler Aston.

I feel like him and Ben would be friends.

Yeah. He was in the 3rd row, so I didn't really talk to him because I was in

the first. You didn't text to people in the 3rd row.

I didn't text to people in the 3rd row. And then you know who I did see, which I texted you, but you didn't answer, kind of the theme of the weekend.

Who did you see?

Joey Gracia Day.

Old School Vibe. But, okay, you text Old School Vibe, my boy. You we are also, like, he's kind of the man of the hour.

I know. So

You texted me that in a flurry of other text messages, so I never got to respond to that. Like, you saw him in the stands. You saw him in the show. Like, what was he doing?

Oh, no. He was a part of my VIP crew, like, with the lounge and the seats and the and the ponchos. I didn't see where he was. Day. I didn't see where he was sitting because he I saw him in the lounge.

So far behind you.

Yeah. I saw him in the lounge, and then I went out, like, the second the show started because I wanted to be there for, like, you know, opening kickoff. And I think him and the the swirly were, like, having a cocktail inside. And then, like, 30 minutes later when I went inside for a break, he was coming out. Like, we were kind of on different schedules, so I didn't even see him.

Ships passing.

And I did wanna say hello to him, except, like, now everyone he just won Dancing with the Stars. So, like, I didn't I don't care about that. Like, I cared about him when he was the old school vibe kinda guy. Right. Right.

And I just know, like, if I went up to him, he would be like, oh, another Dancing with the Stars fanatic. And, like, I don't even give a fuck that he won. I just, like, wanted to talk to him about the old school vibe.

Right. Like, we didn't watch his season. We don't watch Into the Stars, but we're really big fans.

Of his work on page 6?

Of his work, like, on my Instagram algorithm, seeing pictures of him and his lady, neither of whom I follow, but I really enjoy, like, seeing them come through my alga once in a while.

Same and that's the only regurt that I have.

Okay, no regurts then. We watched the parade. It was jolly good fun and I just wanna say that everyone who participated in the parade, like, put those French can can dance Olympics openers to shame. So true. The girls who couldn't dance on the riverbank and said it was because it's raining, like, I'm seeing high schoolers in a kick line.

It's so true.

What's your excuse?

Were you keeping count of how many fell? Because that was, like, seriously my activity of the day, and it was, like, so sad, but so many I mean, I don't they were do they were they were, like, a I don't forget if it was, like, a college or a high school doing an Irish river dance, which

is just That's the 1 that I saw. It was the 1 and only fall that I saw. It made me really sad, but my concern is, like, I don't want anyone tearing an ACL over the Thanksgiving Day parade. Like, I don't want any career ending injuries. And, like, even if you fell, it just means that you gave it your all.

Like, don't be embarrassed. Seriously, like, because look what happens when you're too scared to fall, can can dancers. I guess maybe because they would have fallen in the river,

but, like, they would have fallen off a cliff and cracked their heads open. Yeah.

It's the Olympics. Like, the whole world's watching. I don't know what to tell you.

Take a risk.

Or, like, move the dance. I that is just so crazy to me how the Thanksgiving Day parade, like, these are high schoolers

Yeah.

Who gave it their all, left it all for a couple of, like, you know, a nationwide performance, whereas the Olympics global audience, they couldn't can can. I I'll never get over it.

No. It kind of was like a a sleigh on everyone's behalf. Like, Hoda, Savannah, Al, Jimmy Fallon, like, everybody really and then, of course, the performers, the Rockettes, the Broadway shows, the high schools. It really was a sleigh even though it was not ideal. And let me tell you, whatever it looked like on TV in person, it was worse.

It did not let up for 30 seconds. The rain was vicious, like, truly vicious. Every it I love the parade. It's literally the best time of year. It's the most beautiful thing ever, and I hope to be invited back next year so I can, like, actually see it in, like, the sun.

Yeah. In the in the glory that it was meant to be seen in. We got it up to the part in the parade until the Disney cruise float where, like, Mickey and the gang, like, sang a song on a boat and then we just had to keep rewinding and watching that maybe 50 times and that was the end of the parade.

I also wanna talk about Dasha, if I may.

That was my next point. We absolutely have to talk about Dasha.

Now I'm extremely sympathetic to, you know, any sort of faux pas when it comes to, like, wardrobe, hair, makeup, especially in the rain. So the fact that she began singing and had probably been on that float for 2 hours drenched in rain, so her extensions were still straight, but her natural hair was curly and she had a mullet. Like, I actually Thank you for explaining that

to me. I thought that was a style choice, and I didn't mind it.

No. Because I saw her TikToks, like, on the way in the car, and she had, like, a full glam blowout, but the extensions, like, stayed 1 way and the natural hair reverted to its natural state. So and then her lipstick was all like, she obviously wasn't wearing waterproof lipstick, which was a huge mistake on behalf of her, makeup artist. But, like, all these things are par for the course. I think

it I Like, that's like someone falling. Like, I I'm not mad at you. Like, forgive yourself.

A 1000%. But what I can't forgive and what I actually wanna forget is the outfit. I was actually her performance was so it struck me in so many ways. 1, because of the lipstick, obviously, but that's really not her fault. And then I just started looking at her, and I was like, what the hell are you wearing?

Like, seriously, you're wearing underwear and a bra. First of

all, it's 1 degree outside. It's pouring rain, and this is a show for kids. Like No. It's for the children. Not only was her outfit inappropriate, but the way she was moving Yeah.

There was no need for that.

And I feel like maybe every year, like, there's always 1 new pop star on the scene who, like, wants to make a moment and just, like, be inappropriate. And I just feel like the Thanksgiving Day parade is not the place for that. It's really just a beautiful family friendly affair and perhaps it's the maternal spirit taking over me, but I actually found it downright offensive.

No. And, like, I would she's someone who I would like. She's got, like, country hits. And, like, when some I people wanna, like, push the envelope, do stuff every once in a while. Okay.

A little edgy. When you do it in kids' spaces, I'm done with you.

There's a time and a place for pushing the envelope, and then

you do it in kids' spaces. Is not in kids' spaces.

So she kind of definitely was, a moment for me. Yeah. That was, a

shock, I think, for everyone, but it did also sort of unite the nation. It did

sort of unite the nation. And, hopefully, she just takes this is a learning process, so, hopefully, that's just something she learns.

Yeah. I could I could eventually forgive it. Maybe she didn't maybe she never saw the Thanksgiving Day parade and

Maybe she's not American. Is she moves through 21 plus? Literally.

It's kind of like when someone botches the national anthem. Like, it's so disrespectful, but it's also really funny.

Yeah. But with the botching of the national anthem, like, I don't think that people set out to, like, be disrespectful.

You think she set out?

I mean, did she set out? She's not sure. She's not sure. She's not sure. She's not she's not lying.

Also, it was the

No. And Jackie, like, imagine, like, at dress rehearsals and stuff, like, you're standing next to Mickey Mouse, and that's the outfit you're wearing. Like, is that nice?

No. You need to have that rule. Like, if your skirt doesn't hit your the bottom of your middle finger when you put your arms down, it's too short for the Thanksgiving Day parade.

Other than that, all I did all weekend was, like, eat everything in sight, and I watched so much television. Ben made me watch d 123, the mighty ducks. Have you ever seen them? Oh, I

thought you were gonna say descendants 123.

Oh, I wish, Jackie. Seriously? And I think Ben had this experience too, which sucks because he loved these movies growing up, and then you watch them as an adult, and you're like, oh, Emilio Estevez is a freak. Like, the movies are horrible. And Emilio Estevez, like, leaving after the second movie when the franchise was so popular.

Like, it's big time losery of him.

The movie believe you watched that. I fell asleep. No 1 could ever make me watch something like that.

During both? Jackie well, I was really I was in 1 of those moods where I was, like, nauseous, and everything was making me nauseous. Everything Ben was suggesting to watch. So then he just put on Disney Plus, and for some reason, Disney Plus, like, settles my stomach. Like, I find it unoffensive.

So I'm like, put on whatever you want. And I was, like, going to sleep within the hour. He's like, we have to watch Mighty Ducks. I'm like, okay.

You know what? I read Keenan's book, actually. We don't have to watch Mighty Ducks.

I heard a lot about it, you know, growing up, And I wanted to see what it was about.

You had to be there. It was 1 of those things.

Horrible. And, seriously, maybe I'm just, like, an adult now. I was there were so many inconsistencies in the movie. I'm like, how could you have watched this? It makes no fucking sense.

Yeah. The movies are horrible.

No. And even the premise, like, now I'll watch an old movie and I'll recognize it was probably had to be there and it was better then. But it's like a fun swir like First Wives Club. Like, that's just, like, a fun swirly concept. A bunch of young kid hockey players

Jackie, can I tell you what happens in the movie? Like, you're gonna crack up. It's so stupid. Ready? So Emilio Estevez is this big time lawyer, and he gets pulled over for a DUI, and, like, part of his community service is, like, coaching this pee wee team.

And this pee wee team, he gets, like, the bad district. Like, they stink, and all the other teams have, like, a lot of money, and they're really good. And they're in Minnesota where, like, hockey is life. So in the first movie, you know, he turns it around, gives them love and attention, and they're really good. And I think they win, like, the pee wee championship.

Okay?

It's classic Globo Gym versus Average Joe's.

Just wait. First of all, they never would have beat the other teams. Like, it's just absurd. Okay. But I can I can suspend disbelief if they beat the other teams because they had, I don't know, heart?

In the second movie, after such a banger first season, who takes notice of Emilio Estevez and his team? Oh, just the Junior Olympics. Okay? And they hire Emilio Estevez and the Ducks to join, You won 1 pee wee season, and you stink, and all the kids are like homeless street rats. Like, I don't I don't understand, like, where they come from.

They keep picking kids up off the street. Now you're going to the Olympics. Oh, and by the way, spoiler alert, they win. Like, it's just a it's it's so stupid.

Damn.

It's a perfect movie for a kid because you really need to, like, know nothing to believe it.

Yeah. It's for the elk of dreamers.

It's for the elk of dreamers. Then I also watched The Empress, which I feel like you were talking about.

I'm always talking about The Empress. It's a a fictional drama. No. It's actually basically

It's like The Crown. Right?

It's like The Crown, but it's Austria, Hungary,

The Austrian Empire.

Yeah. The Austrian Empire. Sisi of Austria, who was married to king Franz.

Emperor Franz, and she was married to, the worst emperor of all time. I don't know, like, what I don't know what the perception of Sisi and her man was prior to this. Are they known are they, like, the greats? Like, what do people think of them? Because I think she's fucking annoying, and he was seriously 1 of the worst emperors.

And I don't know like, spoiler alert. I know the Austrian empire, like, is I know the Austrian empire no longer exists. I don't know how they got there, but I imagine Cece and her dumbass husband were a part of it because, like, they are ruined like, some of the worst leaders on the planet.

Well, after I watched season 1 of that series as I anxiously awaited season 2 that I think just dropped and I haven't watched yet, I read 2 books on CeCe, written by my swirly Allison Pataki. She I think she wrote Oh.

Marjorie Coast.

Yeah. So I got the gist on CeCe, and, like, basically, when her and her husband got married, they, like, it was a love match, and they thought they were in love, but, like, she and everyone around them said it, and they didn't care because they thought love would conquer all, and love does not conquer all in a situation like this. She was not cut out for the life of the empress, of, you know, just the daily, everything that it entails. So they grew apart. He, like, cheated on her a 1000000 times, gave her, like, STDs.

Oh my god.

Yeah. Did we cover that? She has, like, she had a lot of affairs. She wound up spending a lot of time in Britain. She's very tortured, but she spent a lot of care a lot of time in self care and beauty.

So she was always known as the most beautiful woman in all of Europe. In Europe. Like, I think literally into her sixties. Like, just a garjee pargy girly who liked horses.

That must have been exciting to have booked that role. You know, they're looking for the most beautiful woman in all of Europe. And, mom, I got the role. Like, that that is exciting. I keep thinking about that.

Yeah. Did you watch season 2?

Yeah. I'm I'm all caught up.

Oh, so okay. Don't I I don't I wonder where in the history books season 2 ends because there's so much within that story that's so crazy about, like, the sons and whatever. But just to bring it back to something else that you learned that I know is 1 of your new favorite facts about how did World War

1.

1 begin.

Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Who's that? Wait.

He is, like, the he is, like, the grand nephew of France that you're watching. Like, he was in line.

Oh my god. The more you know. I'm about to slay Jeopardy.

Yeah. Just connecting.

And Ben loved The Empress. Like, we woke up every day on the holiday weekend. He was like, should we watch? Should we watch? Like, I couldn't believe he was so obsessed with it.

I highly recommend, like, just a good swirly drama while also you learn something. Like, I was I I met Napoleon. I said, oh, I know you. Like, it's really legit.

Yeah. Also, it's dubbed, so it's actually even more impressive that you liked it because it's like you know, that's always a little bit tough.

I'm glad you brought that up because me and Ben were discussing that as well. I said it's a real testament to how good this is because if it were any other show, the second I realized it's not in English and I have to watch, like, a mismatched lips speaking it, I would've turned it off. And it didn't even bother me. Like, I didn't even notice

it. Yeah. Oh my god. I'm so glad you liked it. I'm so excited to watch season 2.

And I didn't like, like, The Crown and historical nonfiction dramas, even though they changed some stuff, I think. The Empress On Netflix. Finally season 2 is here.

And I'm all caught up on Yellowstone. I'm sure you're not because you're not home.

I'm not.

But did you watch the episode before last?

No. I'm now too behind after last night.

Something really crazy happens. Me and Ben were talked. Shit. I won't spoil that. Watch it for, like, download it for the plane.

I will. I will. I'll catch up. I'm very excited.

So it was just kinda like a rotting weekend for me. I, like, lost brain cells and gained pounds, you know?

Yes. Understood. Unfortunately, I couldn't eat as much as I had wanted because on Saturday, I didn't eat a thing. Not a thing. Actually, I had, like, 7 crackers, but literally nothing more than that.

And then yesterday, I was so nervous to set off my stomach that I ate less than I normally would and very bland. So I didn't get to just, like, you know, try all the pies in my county.

Oh, that is sad because I feel like Dallas County Pies

hit different. Right? Like, I don't know. I just feel I feel robbed.

That sucks. And I'm sure your weekend was, like, total opposite. I saw you were, like, out and about with the boys, like, doing all types of holiday things.

Yeah. Arboretum, walk in shopping as much as we could fit in. So it was it's been nice. And, also, like, 'tis now all the lights are out. It's just so festive and so wonderful.

Yeah. And you almost don't mind that it gets dark so early because you get to see everyone's lights on their homes, and it's really nice.

Now let me ask you a question. I'm sure a lot of people wonder this. Like, do you think you could see yourself living there?

Well, let's see how today's episode uploads. How old? No. I don't know why it just feels like so much further from, like, you.

Do you

know what I mean?

I also think because, like, Texas really has its own culture. Like, that's so different than, like, Florida, New York. Even though, like, you're, like, in a Texas Jewish community, it feels so culturally different. Literally, it could be another country. Texas, like, they have their own set of rules, their own set of everything.

No.

But I don't know. For some reason, even though I'm sure distance wise and, like, the plane ride isn't even that different, like, moving to Florida feels like moving, like, closer from home than moving to Texas.

Florida is like an annex of New York.

Yeah. Are there rumors that I yeah. They are. And the people who live in both places, like, they just come and go and they're in

Virginia people.

Are there rumors that I'm moving?

No. I don't think so, but I think, like, it's something people wonder. Like, that's where that's from. You have so much family there. Like

Also, whenever people travel, I think Ben especially is on Zillow. They're like, oh, yeah. Ben

loves Zillow.

I don't think I really think like that.

Oh, I'm always, like, everywhere I go, like, picturing what my life would look like in that place.

Yeah. Yeah. No. It's it's fab here.

The second we wrapped Wednesday's episode last week, our last episode of the week, huge news about Vanderpump Rules came out. Then our faves got engaged over the weekend. Like, I kind of love taking 5 days off because it makes the day we come back so exciting.

Yeah. I mean, between you and I, like, on a personal level, missing my girl

Of course.

Catching up with you. And then the stories are storying.

And when you don't pick up the phone, when I call you, then it makes it so much more exciting to talk to you on the toes. Like, I actually look forward to coming into work because I'm like, oh, I get to see my long lost sister.

And I called you back 3 separate times yesterday, like hours apart, and you didn't pick up. So I said that

2 hour nap. I was taking my daily 2 hour nap. So, like, please respect pregnant woman. The second time I was watching Yellowstone, my stupid fucking phone was on do not disturb from the nap. Like, I I could I forgot to turn it off after the nap.

That 1 was my fault. The third 1, I was watching the new episode of Yellowstone. You called me at, like, 8:15. It started at 8. I I I can't apologize for that.

But what I can apologize for is, like, I picked up my phone at 8:24, and I saw that you called me at 8:20. So I was 4 minutes late. Like, pick up when I call you back.

I was on the other line.

I figured you might be.

And I and I knew that when I was done with that call, I would call you back, and I was just gonna make you, like, wait for it.

Yeah. And you made me wait, like, 15 minutes.

I was chatting.

So that's why I don't want you moving to Dallas because I I seriously can't get in contact with you.

And we're in different time zones.

Like Yes. Although I kind of like the different time zones because I'm lying in bed. It's, like, 8:30. I'm like, shit. Normally, I'd be like, oh, I miss the boys.

They're asleep. But it's really 7:30, and they were up. So I actually don't mind the time difference.

Okay. Works for us.

Yeah.

Intercontinental.

Yeah.

Okay. Let's get into the stories because we must do that and I feel adequately caught up with my sister, as always, if I remember anything that I wanna share with you or the class. It's our show.

Just try that.

Make the rules. This is our show. We make the rules.

That's beautiful.

Thank you. How was Parsley's weekend?

She spent it in Nashville with her family and Travis's family. The Kelsey's, all of them came. Even Kylie and her

that as a story, so I don't know why I just asked that. Oh, okay.

Then okay. I thought I had, like, new information for you.

No. I saw that they were all together, for Thanksgiving, but I was gonna get further details from you. But we'll get into all of that at in in the fast 5 stories that you need to know.

And the fast 5 stories that you need to know are brought to you by SKIMS. We, of course, love the holidays. Shopping for everyone on your list is fun, but let's be real, overwhelming and horrible. And when we saw that SKIMS launched their holiday shop, we really started to get into the holiday spirit. It's the best destination for all of your gifts.

There's even a few pieces that if, you know, I've been eyeing for myself, which if I'm gonna place an order, I might as well just, like, throw in a thing for myself. Everyone in the family is getting SKIMS for the holidays. What's so great is they have such great men's items too. Ben loves some of their men men's items. And when it comes to, like, things that we love, you guys know we love the fits everybody collection.

The bras, the underwear, the Scoop bralette is really my favorite bralette ever, and the SKIMS holiday shop has them packaged in really cute little boxes, so it makes it really easy for stocking stuffers. The festive prints really will get you into the holiday spirit, and then they're super easy. Like, you purchase them, they come in really cute packaging. You throw them in the in the stocking. You don't need to wrap it.

Like, it's really all the work is done for you. Also, they have something for everyone at SKIMS, whether you're a man, you're a woman. Also, they're really size inclusive, which is why I think everybody loves them so much. They, have, like, I think over 60 bra sizes. All their pajamas come in a wide range of sizes, so you can really find something for everybody.

Also, the soft lounge sleep set, I slept in it last night. I've got this cute new red, very festive 1. They make the best pajamas. So getting that for everybody, and then you wake up on Christmas morning, and you're all wearing matching pajamas that are, like, really festive colors. I I love that.

So shop SKIMS holiday shop at SKIMS dot com, available in styles for men, women, kids, even pets. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Today's episode is also brought to you by KiwiCo. KiwiCo Clubs is the perfect gift for curious minds.

Kids will learn fundamentals through hands on activities and progressively build their skills with each project. So watch your kids go from learning to build bow and arrows to engineering their own robot with a thoughtful, enriching gift that keeps on giving. KiwiCo has 5 clubs to choose from with unique topics like science, technology, engineering, art, and math. Plus, KiwiCo club members get amazing perks like 10% off orders, free shipping in the US, and early access to new crates. So your child can build skills while discovering cool science and concepts through fun hands on projects, and it'll be delivered to their door every month.

The projects are built to last. It's a great way to stimulate your kids for, you know, hours on end while also keeping them off screens and out of trouble. KiwiCo crates encourage kids to be creative, bold, curious, and persistent through hands on play and projects. With KiwiCo, kids can discover what they have, that they have what it takes to build and to innovate. So they can build skills over time like robotics, engineering, art techniques, and more.

And as a parent, it can be hard to find creative gifts to keep your children engaged, challenge, and off their screens. But KiwiCo does the leg work for you so you can spend quality time tackling projects together. There's no commitment so you can pause or cancel at any time. Obviously, it's the holiday season, so getting 1, for somebody in your life with kids is such a really, like, thoughtful and helpful gift. So tinker, create, and innovate with awesome gifts from KiwiCo.

Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com. Promo code is toast. That's kiwico.com. Promo code is toast for up to 50% off your first crate. Kiwico.com.

Promo code, t o a s t. Today's episode is also brought to you by Vegamore. A little self care can go a long way, especially amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Taking time for yourself and your hair goes beyond just looking good. It's about feeling your best inside and out, and that's where Vegamore comes in.

Trusted by millions, Vegamour is about giving your hair the love and care it deserves. With their vegan and cruelty for cruelty free formulas, you can nourish and revitalize your strands while indulging in some much needed pampering because, let's face it, who couldn't use a bit more me time this year? I've been using the VEGAMORE grow serum ever since, like, my hair started falling out a year and a half ago, like, 1 of the worst experiences of my life. I really don't wanna talk about it. But recently, I've been using so many more VEGAMORE hair products because I'm just so, like, conscious of ingredients, especially, like, Jack's got me on that Jackie O natural plan.

So, like, the Vegamour Grow shampoo and conditioner is now part of my my weekly wash routines. Their dry shampoo is fabulous, and I love the size it comes in. You can just, like, throw it in your purse. So it's made really well, and I really recommend that grow serum. Using it every day, like staying consistent with it, you will really see results.

And if you've experienced any sort of, like, excuse me, sort of hair thinning or hair shedding, you know how horrible it is. So, like, taking control of it is an absolute must. Don't forget to treat yourself this holiday season. Vegamour makes a great gift, great stocking stuffer, but also, like, you need it for yourself to stay on top of your hair rolls. So this holiday season, give the gift of great hair with Vegamour.

There's something for everyone, including yourself, so visit vegamour.com/toast, cotost to shop. That's vegamour.com/toast. Code toast, that's code t o a s t.

Thank you, Turr de Moore.

What can I say except you're welcome?

Moana 2 is out now.

Yes. Olivia saw it over the weekend. She loved it.

Yeah. How nice. Our first story, the big news that dropped right after we wrapped on Tuesday, but I'm kind of glad because we've getting more information in the last 5 days.

Vanderpump Rules of shenanigans out that really added some color.

Yes. And they've released just information about the Valley, and Vanderpump Rules season 12 will be completely rebooted with a new cast.

And to be clear, that's the upcoming season? Yes. So they don't even get, like, goodbye or nothing? It's like you're fired?

The it's over. Yeah. We thought that they had fit we and it's so crazy because it's just so classic us. We were talking about this on Tuesday, so I actually don't even feel like we missed

out that. We

just we had this conversation about where do they go from here, and I was telling you how they're at a standstill because of salaries, except the only thing that I got wrong was that Jamar had said that this season is being filmed and it's good, but where do we go from here? But there is no this season. So here's the information that we have. On November 26th, Bravo announced that the hit series was renewed, but the twist in the martini glass is that Vanderpump Rules will feature a brand new cast going forward. Lisa Vanderpump said in a press release, in the restaurant business, 1 shift always gives way to another.

Cheers to the next generation of Vanderpump Rules. So the original cast learned up learned of the major series shakeup 24 hours before the news was made public. Pretty much everyone is off the show except for Lisa Vanderpump. And now it it is being reported that the Valley season 2 will feature Sheena, Tom Schwartz, and La la following the reboot news. So that's where we're at at the moment.

So I understand completely, and I don't disagree with why they did this. Like, it's not sustainable. However, having said that, they did attempt a smallish sort of reboot, and I think those were some of the worst years on Vanderpump Rules. Like, dreadful storylines, dreadful people. Max, Brett, Danica, Charlie, like, that was horrible.

So I don't have a lot of faith that this new reboot show they're gonna put together is gonna be good. Having said that, I actually think that a lot of the cast graduating like, the whole tie to Sir makes no sense anymore. Like, these people are parents. Like Yeah. So having La la, Sheena, I find Tom Schwartz really, like, an interesting choice.

Having them graduate to the Valley, especially when the Valley was so successful, I think is natural. I just I think this is the end of the OG show because no 1 is gonna watch us.

Yeah. So while I do think what we said last week about the salary cap issue being a major issue, their the sources are saying that there had been a long long pause in production, and nothing had really changed among the cast since the season 11 reunion. The network felt there was no path forward with the group in that capacity. I do think it's been a tough

heard was that Ariana was in, like, in negotiations, and she, like, doesn't give a fuck. She has so many opportunities. So not only did she want, I think, like, $1,000,000, like, some some something something huge, she also wanted stipulations in her contract that she didn't have to film any scenes with Sandoval, no scenes with La la, like, things that really make the show we're gonna pay you a $1,000,000 and you're not even gonna participate. Like, really not

It's not workable. I think that if they didn't have rules like that and they put them all, you know, on a cash trip together and turn the cameras on, I think they could've had entertainment value. But it's as they say, nothing lasts forever. I thought Sheena had a really good outlook on it, but also knowing that she's gonna be on It's easy

for her.

It's easy for her to, like, say goodbye to this. Like, her next job is waiting. This wasn't gonna go on forever, and things change. People graduate. So I think this makes a lot of sense.

I'm actually glad they're just ripping the Band Aid off and not letting the the whole show go. Like, even though they technically did this with RHONY, I don't feel like it's the same. Okay. I feel like this is a better use of this idea.

Well, Roni, yeah, is the natural comparison. Roni felt really premature. Like, I don't think there was really a lot of demand. It didn't feel like they were at this stand. So there was, like, an issue that the women were drinking too much and, like, going on in circles, and then the morning, they had no idea what they were talking about.

So it felt like a little bit of a waste of time. But there were fixes to it, and the women really wanted it. Now it's like everybody shows up to Vanderbilt, and they don't even wanna be there. Like, there's a lack of interest, and I think that's where the 2 situations are really different. But Bravo just doesn't have a great track record thus far of rebooting shows.

The good news is, though, I feel like there's really a lot of potential. There are well, I guess they're gonna cast from whoever is already working at SUR, but I feel like, you know, people in LA, they want this so badly. They're gonna do what it takes to make great television, and maybe we'll get a real, like, junior version of Vanderpump Rules, the 1 that we all loved. Now as someone who is in my Valley era and who really enjoyed Valley season 1, 1, I've heard Valley season 2 is insane.

Did you hear this?

No. Oh my god.

Wait. Where are you hearing things?

I don't know where I saw this. I literally have no idea. Probably just, like, something in my explore page that it's the craziest season of reality TV ever.

Oh my god.

You should watch season 1

that.

And now that La la is gonna be there, like, of course, I'll still be watching even though I already was going to. And I just wanna say, I'm holding space, a lot of fucking space for La la and Tom Schwartz because

I know, by the way.

The reason is there for him to be on The Valley. Yeah. She was on Watch What Happens Live last week and Pandy was asking her about relationships with different castmates like Ariana. She hasn't spoken to her. Katie, she hasn't spoken to her.

Schwartz. She said, I love Schwartzy.

Yeah. I think that we feel it. I think we're not like, everyone, we're not feeling nothing. Like, there's something there. If there ever was a reason for them to not, especially from La la's POV, it was her relationship with Katie even when it was strained.

But when she was on Watch Shum's Life, she said she hasn't spoken to Katie. Like like, there is no friendship there. Now they don't even work together on the show. Like, what the hell does La la owe Katie? I think it's definitely a possibility, and it could be 1 of those things that, like, gives the valley, like, it's sort of Skandeval moment.

Like, it's it would be huge.

But it also could have been the thing that saved Vanderpump Rules.

But the thing is even Skandeval didn't save Vanderpump

Rules. Sorry. Gave it a season and a half. Yeah. It gives it it gives

you a little bit more life, but maybe, like, the production company couldn't afford it and the Valley could. Because I Sheena La la. I mean, Sheena and not Tom Schwartz, actually. Just Sheena is the only 1 going to the Valley who was an OG cast member from Vanderpump Rules season 1. So she was 1 of the hot her, Katie Maloney, and Tom Sandoval were the only people who, from season 1, were full time cast members.

So they were the highest paid on Bear and Pump Rules. I guarantee you Sheena took a significant pay cut to Beyond the Valley, but that's, you know, that sustains her podcast. That sustains her Instagram, all the things that she made.

Her YouTube yeah. No. It's it's good business, and now I she'd rather be on TV than not be on TV. Everybody's talking about the valley. They're gonna be talking about the valley.

It's only in its infancy, so it's all up for them. And I'm I'm really happy, and I feel like the people who didn't make it to the valley, most of them seem uninterested in reality TV anyway, like Ariana and Katy.

Stand up. And I think No. Ew. No. I think the only person who wasn't invited to the valley, and I understand why, but I do think it's a miss to not have James Kennedy on TV at all.

And he needs to get married. He I bet I bet you now he gets engaged, and they have a baby just so he can get on the Valley. Like, I like how having a baby or, like, trying to conceive is, like, literally the 1 rule to getting on the Valley, which is why I don't understand how Tom Schwartz is. But that's so Tom Schwartz. That has been Tom Schwartz's Tom Schwartz is just 1 of those people, and I think that's why so many of the cast members had fights.

I'm like, bored under a lucky star. He never worked at Sir. He never worked for Lisa Vanderpump. He ends up getting his own bar. He is a huge castmate on the show.

He never worked at the restaurant and served all those years in the back alley, smoking cigarettes like everybody else. He never put in his time, but he gets these things because he's, like, a likable guy. It's actually so unfair.

Yeah. That is I forgot about James Kennedy. Where does James fall into?

Because he's also, like, kind of I consider him more of, like, the new

Yeah. Like, he could be on the reboot.

Yeah. He could.

But I think they just wanna start fresh. They don't want someone who's, like, this is my restaurant. You know? Like, they need all new, and I get that. And maybe he'll come to the Valley 1 day.

Yeah.

But he does live there. Yeah. Like, they have the house. They have the house.

I don't know if that's in the Valley.

Well, the burbs.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody's on his way.

So I'm very excited for Valley season 2. And and you know what? In hindsight, what we got at the season finale of Vanderpump Rules last season, like, that was a series finale.

Now we know why there was that weird montage.

Well, I don't think they meant it that way, but I think they left space for, like, how do we come back from here? We might not. So we're just gonna show you, like, really where we're at and what we're thinking. And in doing that, they put a period on it.

You know that it's our time. These are the best days of our lives. Just raise your glasses high. This one's for you tonight.

It feels right.

I'm ready. My leg changed. Yeah. Yeah.

It had to happen.

Yeah. Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Some more marvelous changes in the air amongst love. Hailee Steinfeld and Josh Allen got engaged in a Rosefeld proposal. They shared on Instagram this week that they will be getting married after getting engaged last week. They shared a photo of them on the water. Rose, honestly, I'm seeing a chuppah and a lot

of chuppahs.

I'm seeing honestly that this was a wedding. Yeah. And he there was a collab post and the caption was infinity, 112224, infinity.

Okay.

Written by Josh Allen, by the way. He's the lead on the collab. Oh.

Actually, I feel like it depends on who you follow because mine came up Hailee Steinfeld as the lead.

This is yes. Because you follow her, but this is the People magazine embedded. Okay. Okay. It's Josh.

I opened my phone and saw this and, like, actually made a sound. Like, I was like, like, I knew these people. Did we not talk about this 1 week ago, that they need to get engaged in, like, the comparisons between them and Taylor and Travis? Not then Taylor and Travis both liking this photo, like, giving them ideas and shit?

Yeah. I think it's all good for Parce and Trav. Mhmm. But not to take away from Hailey's moment because, like, I'm really happy for her. She's really defied all the odds, all the Bills fans not liking her.

I feel like she honestly, like, kind of put her career on hold for this man, and it's working out. Also, I don't know if

you saw, like, Josh Allen's ex making, like, a little bit of drama. Somebody, like, had left a comment on her post being, like, you need to find, like, another NFL boyfriend now that yours has take and something, like, obnoxious and she responded, well, actually, my current boyfriend is the owner of the team, so no more CTE morons. Something like that.

Oh my god.

Wait. And then she deleted the post, deleted the comments, and wrote on her Instagram, sorry, guys. My Instagram's been getting hacked all weekend. Like, trying to figure it out. Stay tuned.

Okay. Like, seriously? Lying about your Instagram being hacked or any social media is the biggest loser thing you could do on the planet, and it does remind me

because you just have a big pair of brass balls to say that, so keep them. Same. Do you remember

when, Casey Musgraves liked a tweet that was, like, derogatory about Taylor Swift and then said her Twitter was hacked? No. I do. It was years ago before Casey was Casey. Like, it was, it was niche to me because I I knew Casey, but people didn't know Casey.

Tell Casey, like, has Taylor Swift, like

Chip on her shoulder.

Yeah. You know, she has that lyric. Never part of no big machine.

Don't sound like me. Yeah. No. If you're if you've been present for the lore, like, you could find things with Taylor and Kelsey. But, excuse me.

What's her name?

Casey.

Casey. Yeah. Lying about your social media is getting hacked, like, when you said something that didn't like, it's a move. I respect it, but it's a really bad move. I actually don't respect it.

And is she like, just to go back to the original point, like, is she dating the owner?

I don't know who she was referring to. She says she her current boyfriend owns a team, and so she doesn't have to deal with any CTE idiots. Owns a team or a team? A team. Not the Bills.

I thought I thought, like, he owned the Bills. I'm like, damn.

And I actually watched the Bills game last night. Did you see the Bills played the 49ers, and it was, like, 15 inches of snow. Like, it was insane. People couldn't get to their seats. Okay?

And the Bills won. And before the game started, I had a thought, and then the more I was watching and this is gonna offend some Bills fans. I'm like, seriously, I don't give a fuck, so, like, eat my ass because I actually like the Bills. But the Bills, like, have been consistently good for a couple of years. They don't win the Super Bowl, but, like, they're always good, especially with Josh Allen.

Like, they're good. And they always have, like, a good record. Right? Because you play half your games at home. And, like, you're training in the snow, and then you have people from the Miami Dolphins and the San people playing in California come to your town, and, obviously, you win.

And I saw this guy holding a sign that had, like, a statistic, and they put it on TV. I'm like, you guys shouldn't be proud of that. It makes us realize, like, maybe you're not that good. You're just good at beating people, like, in the snow because this guy held a sign. It was like, we're 10 and 1 at home since 2020.

Like, for the last 4 years, you've barely lost any games at home. Okay. So, like, that's why you're good because you trick people to come in. Get a roof. Why is there no roof?

Like, literally in Minnesota where it's always snowing, the Vikings have a roof. Why the fuck would you, a, like, subject your players to playing in the snow? Like, it's such a bad health risk. And, 2, like, it's a trick. I bet you if they closed that roof and they all played regular games and there was, like, air conditioning and shit like that, their record at home would not be so good.

No. It's a good point. Ready for that conversation, but

It's a good point, but I guess, like, are they not better football players because they know how to play in all the elements?

No. That doesn't make you a good football player because you know how to, like, slip and slide on snow.

You like to dip the the Yeah.

No. And it's like maybe if there were other

And you know how to pop and lock and Jackie, there

are no maybe maybe once every couple of years will it snow during a game, like, in New York. Like, it's very rare, but it's consistently oh, wait. There's, like, a ton of games every season. I just feel like we're not having that conversation out loud about Buffalo, and now I've said it. Now I've said it.

I I think you raised, like, a really fair point, and they'll never get a roof. Like, they that's

just soft. The lack

of They just, like, wanna be hard.

They wanna be hard, but there's also, like, a not cheating.

And I'm and it but

not a method. It's a strategy.

I just wanna say, like and you are hard. Bills, like, fans You're hard. You're hard. Like, I'm not a part of this conversation.

Just get a roof, and, like, let's see what happens then. I would love to know, like, when the stakes to the curtains. She fades to black. We just left you know what the stats would be with a roof.

Okay. I'll call the roofer. Yeah. Get a quote. Get a quote.

It never hurts to get a quote. But I

Not true. Me, I'm always getting a quote.

It's sometimes so inconvenient to do all the leg work and for what?

Not only that. Sometimes it does hurt to get a quote because then you get, like, follow-up emails and texts for months on end.

I got a quote, and then I decided not to do it.

Of course. That's what happens. The quote

talks you

out of the project.

I got a quote, and I decided to do it. And then a few days later, I was like, I'm not doing it. And then I had to, like, pay for the the time that the quote. And it was, like, very off book. It wasn't, like, in the contract that he said

for the time. Yeah.

He was like, don't you think you you should, like Oh, you got paid bills. Measured and

No. Getting a quote is free.

Yeah. No. We got paid filled with a quote. Claudia, it's was

Jackie, you're such a sucker.

The biggest. Everybody knows this. Oh my god.

If you're looking to swindle someone out of money, like the vulnerable, she's right here.

Yeah. No. It's true. I I won't even be right. Pay for

a quote. That's, like, seriously the whole concept.

Husband is the opposite of me. Like, he walked down to the nail. Oh, so I am like, this is you, and by the way, he was the 1 who took it on and still we had to, like, pay us something. I guess if I gave you more details, maybe you would understand more, but still, it doesn't always, like, not hurt to get a quote.

Right. You you sound like somebody who got hurt.

I got hurt. I got hurt.

I'm so sorry to feel better.

Anyways, mazel to Hailee Steinfeld and Josh Allen. I hope

that she will be converting.

I hope they have a big, beautiful wedding. Yeah. Yeah. She is. Steinfeld.

Steinfeld. Yeah.

I never thought of that.

So I hope that

I'll meet you under the Chuppah, Josh. Do you think Josh Allen will wear a yamaka? Oh my god. I'm freaking. I do.

I look was excited about these 2 before I even realized that.

Yeah. You think Taylor

and Travis will be at the wedding? No.

Well, that will be the big tell. I think that they should

Taylor gets invited to a lot of weddings, and unless, like, you're a true ride or die best friend for she's not gonna go. She's actually, like, a distraction. Like, yeah, it's cool to have Taylor Swift at your wedding. No one's looking at you. I guess.

Unless it's like Abigail, you know?

But if she's, like, not there, then there's beef, and and we've long been wondering. So even though they like the post, like

I'm sorry. There is beef. You can't go to their

You can like the post of your enemies, but you don't go to their wedding.

Maybe Taylor Swift stopped being friends with Hailee Steinfeld when Hailee Steinfeld released a song. Gotta love myself, though I don't need anybody else. Because Taylor was like, I can't be friends with somebody who wrote the best song of all time because it'll just make me look bad because I love myself. Actually, her very brief foray into pop stardom is some of the best music. What was that other 1?

In capital letters. Yeah. And then there was 1 more. When I get chills at night

no.

That's Love Myself. Hold on. Hold on. No. She really, like, slayed the pop game for 30 seconds and then it

doesn't really matter. Everything that she does. It's true. She doesn't flop. Oh, let me go with Alesso Florida.

Oh, starving.

Most girls.

Most strong and

smart and beautiful. Most girls work hard, we go far unstoppable. I'm obsessed. No.

Starbase. I didn't know that. I was

stopping to that tasting.

That has over a 1000000000 streams.

Jackie, both times when I sat down to write my Grammy Award winning songs, Toast and 100%, I spoke to the producer and the songwriter, and they were like, what's your vibe? Like, who do you they were like, Jess Glynne. And I literally said, no, Hailee Steinfeld. And they were like, oh, okay.

Both times. Most Girls use a toasty anthem.

Most Girls is a toasty anthem. And Love Myself is really good. Shut up. Love Myself is really good, but if you do look below the lyrics, like, beyond the surface lyrics, it is a song about masturbation. Do you know that?

Yes. Yes. Okay. Yes. Are you ready for our next story, which is a perfect segue because it is about Parson Trav.

Okay. I'm ready to talk

about masturbating.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey's family spent special Thanksgiving together for the first time. For the first time in forever. Taylor Swift

and Travis Kelsey's family spent special Thanksgiving together for the first time in forever. Taylor Swift and Travis

Kelsey's family, including her mom and dad, hosted Trav and his family members in Nashville, people reported on Sunday. A source told the outlet that Taylor and Travis had a great Thanksgiving together with their families, calling the Tennessee gathering very festive and special.

Okay. Now I'm trying to, like, figure out why Nashville, but I think just logistically when she has a house in every port, you know, he was going, Trav had to go on what was his game?

You're asking the wrong person.

What day did he play? Whatever. He had to get to Vegas. So I guess maybe her LA home would have been better, but,

no, it's not new. Vibe. Like

New York makes no sense. Like, it's just too far from Vegas. So Nashville's kind of halfway there

because in in the States think about you have to think about vibes. Like, you wanna set the right tone. This is a big weekend, and you don't want, you know, no offense, the LA attitude.

No. But in terms of her options, she has an LA, Nashville, New York, and Rhode Island in America. Right? Those 4? That we know of.

So it was really only gonna be LA or Nashville, and I guess, yeah, you have to consider the vibes.

No. Thanksgiving in LA. No. It's like a Hallmark movie that's filmed in July. No thanks.

I think you also have to think about hospitality. Like, everyone's staying at your house. Like, which house has more bedrooms? Now I don't know the layout of both houses. I would have thought her LA 1 was bigger.

But in terms of bedrooms, like, you have to think about the Kelsey parents and the, Swift parents are both divorced. So it's 4 bedrooms. Just so they're

Jason, Kylie, and the girls, were they there?

They were. So it's Jason and Kylie, a 5th bedroom.

And also, naturally, it's easier for the those Kelsey's to get to. They're not going to LA.

The girl's 6. Taylor and Travis, that's 7. Is the brother there with his fiancee, Austin, for sure? Unless he was with his fiancee's family. That's 8.

Let's say conservatively, that's before any friends, assistants, 8 bedrooms.

Mhmm.

So she's like, I think, which of my houses has 8 guest bedrooms? I'm sure most of them, but

So definitely Nashville does because otherwise they would have done Holiday House.

Yeah. Which is such a vibe. And I guess when you have a private jet, like, it doesn't really matter, but it's a little inconvenient.

And it's a little chilly up like, Nashville is probably perfect wet. It was probably idyllic. I'm sure that, like, every side dish, every turkey, I'm sure it was literally, like, a Hallmark Thanksgiving. If you looked up a textbook picture of a Thanksgiving dinner, you would've seen this.

Now this is really behavior of 2 people who are betrothed.

Like Yeah. You kind of you get engaged, and then you do this. And then the baby comes in January.

I think that it's just really serious type of behavior. And, of course, you can do this with your boyfriend.

You actually don't do this with your boyfriend. I just

wanna do that. Especially your boyfriend. Okay. Let's say you're just, like, people who've decided not to get married. So he's your boyfriend of, like, 15 years.

Okay.

Your life partner. Your boyfriend of a year

and a half. A year and give or take a few months. No. It's it's really serious it's serious behavior. Yeah.

They started in July. So a year and, what, 4 months? It's serious.

Yeah. It's serious. I think they actually have to be engaged otherwise. Like, if I have a friend who was doing this with her boyfriend, I'd say it's too much.

I'd say it's time for him to pop a question.

Right. Unless he popped the question at Thanksgiving.

Right. Which let's do that. Better place.

That's like a very and, honestly, when you're someone who has it all, like, what's he gonna do? The top of the Eiffel Tower? Yawn.

That's true. The more intimate, the better.

In my home, in my backyard. And maybe he prayed that Chris Lane song where he talks about doing that. Remember when Chris Lane wrote that song for Lauren Lane, like, about how he was proposing to her and then played it in real time? Of course. I remember.

I think that's what Travis did.

I remember everything. What kind of music do you think that Taylor and Travis listened to together? Because I think, individually, like, they probably have really different tastes in music.

Lourd listens to everything. So I think he's fine to listen to whatever he wants to listen to, and I think he likes a they probably listen to, like, Post Malone is what they can agree on. He's for everyone.

She's also very country, and I know he likes Morgan Wallen. So, like, he likes country too. I I can't see her liking Morgan Wallen.

Yeah. But I could also like, he also likes, like, hip hop. That's why I'm, like, maybe Post Malone because he kind of does everything and

he's, like, a really good call.

She loves him. Mhmm. And that's their, like Move their safe artist. Florida.

Yeah. That's cute. Maybe he came to perform at Thanksgiving. You.

Maybe he'll sing her down the aisle.

She'll totally sing herself. No. I'm kidding. Oh my god.

Anyways, this is a really major update in

the love story. It's also crazy that we know.

No? It is crazy that we know. I hope we get some pics.

It would just simply plots.

I just wanna see, like, the tablescape even.

I think if we ever get pics, like, it would be of the tablescape, and it would be in 3 years. And we'll be like, oh, that was the Thanksgiving we talked about in 2024.

I actually think the vibes cultivated, like, were very folklore in Evermore.

Yeah. Taylor is, like, in and I mean this in a positive way, like, really corny, and she loves, like, a baked treat, and she definitely gets into the theme and the spirit. Like, I love that about her. So she definitely, like, lays the table, very Hallmark. And maybe they got together and watched the Hallmark movie about them that Donna's in.

She 100% did, and they laid the table with the fancy shit.

Lay the table with the fancy shit.

Are you ready for our next story, our 4th story?

If it's our 4th story that's brought to you by sex .com perchance.

It is perchance y.

Today's episode of the toast is brought to you by saks.com, the premier digital platform for luxury fashion. With the holidays right around the corner, saks.com is making it easy to find the perfect gifts for even the pickiest on our lists, including yourself, with an expertly curated assortment of fashion. So whether you're shopping for that hard to please family member, someone that seems to have everything, or even your ultra stylish bestie, saxx.com has you covered with the most versatile selection of fashion, beauty, home decor, and so much more. So let's be real. Gift giving is not everyone's love language.

It can be daunting, stressful, overwhelming, especially around the holiday season. But with saxx.com and their holiday gift guide, you'll be able to find the perfect gifts for her, gifts for him, beauty, gifts for kids, anything with ease. We all need a little inspiration when it comes to holiday shopping, and saxx.com provides you with just that. Let's not forget that saxx.com can also help you find your own holiday vibe. You can upgrade your party looks, treat yourself to top designer brands like Alice and Olivia, Frame, Prada, Gucci, and more.

After all, holiday shopping is never complete without spoiling yourself first. So if you're looking for gifts that will help you win the holidays, head to saxx.com now for a seamless shopping experience. Whether you're shopping for loved ones or treating yourself to something special, saxx.com will give you endless inspiration that'll enhance your holiday season. Also, it can't be overstated, like, how shopping in person during this time of year can be really, first of all, scary and just overwhelming and unenjoyable. And so you just, like, rush by stuff that you think is right and you end up getting the wrong thing.

So doing it in such a civilized way on saxx.com, their website is so organized, so user friendly. The holiday gift guides are great. Get ready to be the best gift giver ever. Find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to every heart to shop for a person this season at saxx.com. Let's make this holiday season memorable for you and your loved ones.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Storyworth. If you're spending time with loved ones for the holidays, chances are you're gonna hear a lot of stories, the ones you love to hear, the ones you've heard too many times. But if you ever wanted to help your loved ones capture those timeless stories, not just for themselves, but for you, your entire family, and future generations, it can seem daunting to write an entire book of life memories, but Storyworth makes it really fun and really easy. So how it works is that every week, story worth will email your loved ones a thought provoking question that you get to pick. Things like, what's the best what's the bravest thing you've ever done?

What's the farthest you've ever traveled? How did you get used to going to school every day? Well, Storyworth makes the writing process a breeze. All your loved 1 needs to do is respond to that email with a story. It can be long.

It can be short. It doesn't matter. And then you will be emailed a copy of your loved one's loved one's response as they submitted it over the course of a year. After that that entire year, Storyworth will then compile your loved one's stories and photos into a beautiful keepsake. It'll be a hardcover book that you'll be able to share and revisit for generations to come.

So it's really sweet. Families love Storyworth and why that's why it has over 35,005 star reviews on Trustpilot with millions of stories preserved since they were founded 10 years ago. I love this concept. I feel like as you get older and, like, the people in your life whom, like, maybe at 1 point, it was like, oh, grandma tells the same sick stories. But, like, those are stories, and she has more.

And, like, the whole concept of spending a

year history.

And spending a year, like, really writing that down, I think, is, like, probably 1 of the most valuable things you can do, and then getting, like, a book. It makes it so nice. So help your family members share and capture their stories this holiday season. Go to storyworth.com/toast today to save $10 on your purchase. That's storyworth.com/toast to save $10 on your first purchase.

Storyworth.com/toast. Today's episode is also brought to you by Dreamland Baby. Isn't that right, Jax?

Yes. It is. Thanks, Turdy Worth. Today's episode is brought to you by Dreamland Baby, 1 of my favorite baby brands. They have the best products, and they're having an amazing Black Friday sale.

So listen up. Pay attention, please.

Please.

Dreamland Baby, they make the super popular dream weighted sleep sack. They also make sleep swaddles. So they have sleeping solutions for baby from every stage, from newborn to infant, toddler, whether you want arms swaddled in, arms out. It is just so great. They have that their, patented weighted technology, and it is so great.

It does for a baby what a weighted blanket would do for you, which is, like, reducing anxiety, promoting calm, promoting restful sleep, and better sleep for baby means better sleep for you.

Mhmm.

So we love our Dreamland Sleep Sacs. We're in the Sleep Sac era right now, but we loved the Swaddles when that was, the stage that we were in. And they are just so cozy in them and they're made with such great materials and you will not regret getting them.

So You won't regret taking advantage of this sale?

No. You won't. And it's the best kind of sale because it's a BOGO sale. It is a Black Friday sale if you go to dreamlandbaby.dreamlandbabyco.com and use our code TOAST for the buy 1 get 1 free deal from our favorite baby brand, Dreamland Baby. Our code TOAST will work site wide on both non weighted and weighted products, PJs, and more.

Oh, the PJs are amazing. Get grab a pair of PJs. They're made with great materials. As long as they are of equal or lesser value, feel free to mix and match. But note that this is final sale.

Use our code toast at checkout. This is a great way to stop stock up on Dreamland Baby products or to give us gifts.

Thank you so much, Jacqueline Follett.

Thank you. So our next story, typically, facial hair would not make news. However, this is sort of breaking the Internet. Yeah. Jacob Elordi debuts a shocking new look and fans have mixed reviews.

So Jacob Elordi, attended the red carpet premiere at the Marrakesh International Film Festival in Morocco on Friday for his new film. No 1 knows what that movie was because no 1 can stop talking about his new years. Yeah.

So

everyone is saying, like, this is the first time that a beard has not enhanced a man's look. And considering he is, like, objectively the best looking man of our generation, it all is to say, like, it doesn't look good.

The thing is, it looks bad. Like, I don't even think there were mixed reviews because I didn't see anybody saying anything positive. Like, it's a bad beard. Now I don't know if he's just a person who doesn't favor beards, or this is a particularly bad 1. It's a little unkempt.

It's a little too big. I happen to have really liked it. I like when very good looking people look a little bit ugly. It makes them relatable to me, and I I think it's, like, humbling. And and I don't I don't dislike it.

I I actually think, overall, like, his Q score will go up from this, but he does need to get rid of it. But just knowing he's capable of looking ugly, like, that's so human. You know?

Yeah. I also think it's good for his future as an actor because, okay, maybe he's not always gonna play, like, the teenage heartthrob. Maybe he could play the ugly guy. Like Yeah.

No. He's a chameleon.

Yeah. Not every person in a movie should look like a movie star. Like, they're supposed to be based on real people. Regulars. So I think this is show's range for him.

So true. But, like, if I'm his lady love, shave it.

Well, if I'm his lady love, I'm just I'm grateful, and I'm not gonna be complaining. Like, hey,

you should shave it. It's like,

shave it. The thing is is that if you look at Olivia, she has very beautiful skin, and I I can't see that, like, rough, coarse beard hair, like, being gentle on her skin,

and I worry about that. Exfoliator.

Because her skin is her business. You know? Like, that's how she makes a living.

I think it's an exfoliator for her. Maybe that's why her skin is so great.

Maybe. Maybe. But you know that there are people who experience, what's that thing called, like beard burn? What is that? Oh, man.

You don't know? It happened to like 1 of my best friends in college when she was dating her husband. Any bearded man? Well, no. Yeah.

I guess if you date a bearded man, yes. Like, if you kiss them like, some people have really sensitive skin. I'm surprised this never happened to you because you have such sensitive skin where you literally break out into a rash, like and, like, just from getting kissed.

So, yes, that happens to me. I get redness, but I wouldn't call it a rash. It goes away in, like, 30 minutes.

No. This, like, lasts a day or 2.

No. I wouldn't say a day or 2.

Google beard burn. It's, like, on your chin. No. It's just But I definitely I definitely would get

I would get irritated for sure.

Yeah. Well, some people have it really bad. It's called beard burn, and that's why, like, their husbands have to, you know, live

a A beard free life.

A beard free life. So maybe we need Olivia to fake a little bit of beard burn and then be like, Jacob, you have to shave luck.

Or maybe she's, like, wants to keep her man maybe not that does it's hard to date the hottest man alive.

Husbands at different points, like, to look ugly because, like, that's my man. Right? And, like, who do you think

he's so good for?

No. And it's, like, no 1 knew it

for his job. I guess it's good that Ben doesn't brush his teeth.

Yeah. And I'll tell everyone, my husband doesn't brush his teeth. Don't kiss him. Do not come. He's gross.

Do not come.

He doesn't brush his teeth.

Ben doesn't brush his

teeth. Funny.

Yeah.

Okay. Are you ready for our 5th and final story? Some actual, like, heated drama.

Not the heated drama.

Not the heated drama for the 5th and final, but, like, Billboard Magazine is really going through it right now because they endeavor to do something that nobody fucking asked for, And they're pissing too. And they're pissing everyone off along the way.

They

are. So Billboard Magazine has been putting together their top pop stars of the 21st century. And they've been, like, teasing every day, you know, number 10, 9, 8, 7, 6. So first they named Justin Bieber number 8, and Hailey Bieber is, you know, throwing shade their way.

That wasn't ever confirmed, that Hailey Bieber's I thought that was, I think that was fake. Really? The Hailey Bieber shade. Because first of all, them naming Justin Bieber number 8 is actually, like, extremely generous.

I feel like that's accurate. Is right. Yeah.

And then the comment that she allegedly left on a billboard post, like, was never seen. I don't know that that comment was real.

Okay. Well, the comment said billboard is a fucking joke as per usual, but that's just a I don't think she wrote that. An appetizer to the main dish.

It's an anecdote.

Which is that, it's a story about parsley again because Taylor Swift was crowned number 2 pop star of the year, which already has people, like, in a tizzy because they think that she should be number 1 given all of them.

After after they announced number 3, everybody realized the only 2 spots left were Beyonce and Taylor. So they were, like, fighting. I don't remember. Okay. It's so of not important.

Right.

Right. And sorry to number 3.

Billboard doesn't know the definition of a pop star because there are people who are left off that list and then there are people who are on there's bands on that list. Yeah. So I guess a band is a pop star and then that means, like, where Maroon 5 wasn't on the list and they're they should have been. Like, they they don't know what a pop star is and then, like, some people on there weren't pop stars.

Rihanna was number 3. Drake was number 4. I don't think I would consider Drake a pop star.

Correct.

Pop star is for the girls. I just wanna

say that. I agree completely.

But I don't know. Was the weekend down there? Yes. He's number 18. No.

There's a lot of of He's like a

boy pop star to me.

Justin Timberlake is also a boy

pop star. Yes.

Now my issue is that he's number 14, which doesn't feel right. But, he could be here. That's fine. And Justin Bieber too is a boy pop star. Fine.

5 Lady Gaga, 6 Britney Spears, 7 Kanye West. I wouldn't consider a

pop star.

8 Justin Bieber, 9 Ariana Grande, 10 Adele, 11 Usher. That feels right. Really?

Yeah. He just he just operates under the radar. That's the thing. But like 20 Bruno Mars.

Are you guys okay?

Oh, that's wrong. He should be top 5.

He should be top he could have been that 10. Yeah. 10 spot.

That's wrong.

Also, so yes, the it started because then Rihanna

The 2 spots, everybody started fighting.

Taylor and Beyonce are left for 2 and 1, and they announced Taylor as number 2. So people are upset about that fact just in general. But then they put together this video package of her high life. And in that video, they included footage from Kanye West's music video where he had created a, a mannequin of a naked Taylor Swift. And they This is like

the thing. This is her Roman empire.

Yeah. From the famous music video. And it's like make it's not even really her, but, like, why would they have that? It's not Germaine. It's offensive.

It was offensive then. It's offensive now. It has nothing to do with all of her amazing accolades. Like, it's it's seriously so offensive. They got so much backlash for including it.

They finally, like, apologized in the middle of the night, but people are not happy about that in particular. And it's kind of, like, ruined this whole fun that they were having.

It's true. It's true. Now I really wanna talk about 2 things. 1, can we just quickly discuss, like, what you think of them giving Beyonce 1 and Taylor 2? Like, I I disagree with that, but I do understand that, like, this is subjective and, like, someone could argue both sides.

Like, there are things that Beyonce is definitely better at, and there are things that Taylor is definitely better at. I happen to think the list of things that Taylor is better at is just a little bit longer, which is why she would've been number 1. But, like, I'm not mad. Beyonce is 1 of the greatest. So, like, if she's gonna be 1 or 2, like, I get it.

I just that's if I made a list, I would've done the opposite.

Yeah. I just feel like you can't call things until they're past. Like It's so true. We'll see how history remembers all of this and what what turns out to be the biggest things. Like, I can't call it while I'm in it.

No. That's a really good point.

So and then I think today, they announced that Beyonce is number 1, but I that's all sort of been lost in

Yeah. Their statement was like it was in a contract

This is what the statement said. They said, we are deeply sorry to Taylor Swift and all of our readers and viewers that in a video celebrating Swift's achievements, we included a clip that falsely depicted her. The publication wrote in an apology post shared on x just after midnight on November 28th. Have removed the clip

after midnight?

Yeah. They posted it at 1 AM. Like, they thought they could, like, get away, fly with this apology. And, honestly, 1 thing about the Swifties, they're not dropping anything, and and and they shouldn't drop this.

Like a dog with a bone.

They said we have removed the clip from our video and sincerely regret the harm we caused with this error. I just like, things like this don't happen accidentally or slip through the cracks. Like, it's very intentional, and it's so disrespectful.

It is. And I feel like Taylor went through a period in her life, and I don't know if she's still, like, existing in this space, where anytime there was something, like, within culture that she found offensive, like, she would speak on it. Like, Ginny and Georgia. You know? She called out Netflix for making that joke.

And so I think there was a time where she would've spoken on this. I don't think she's really about about that life anymore, and also, like, Billboard is such a strategic part you can't, like, alienate Billboard. Right? If you're an artist like her who cares about all the accolades and the charts, like, they are a strategic partner of hers. So I don't know if she would say anything regardless of that, but I do feel like that part of her career where she was, like, constantly, like, speaking out is kind of over.

Yeah. I also wanna know the criteria for this list because I saw some interesting stats because then the Swifty started arguing why Taylor should have been number 1 for Beyonce. And the most interesting thing that I read was that Lover, it's a 5 year old album, sold more copies this year than Cowboy Carter album.

And how do we fact check that?

I don't know. Didn't you tell me that?

No. How many copies of Lovers sold 2024? In the first half of 20 24, it sold 208,000 copies. So I guess let's say 410, okay?

Okay, wait, why didn't I think that though? Like, I really thought you told me that.

I never told you that. Copies of Cowboy harder sold 2024. By the way, oh, the first album's 1st sales, 1st week, I'm sorry, 407,000. So, no, that's not true.

Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, then take back what I said. Strict them from the record.

No. And by the way, I saw people arguing both sides of why it should be Taylor, why it should be and there are really compelling, arguments. Like, you know, the the fact that Taylor is the sole songwriter of most of her music and she plays multiple instruments is, like, a huge factor that that compared to Beyonce is not. Also, I mean, if you compare, I think, like, a big thing is, like, being a hot pop star is, like, the dancing, and that's, like, Beyonce's, like, you know Yeah. Amazing and Taylor you know, she's gotten better, but it's not, like, her thing.

Yeah. Also, like, the number of number 1 hits according to Billboard, how many times you've been number 1 the charts with Taylor was so much more. So there are compelling arguments on both sides, and that's why there's really no wrong answer. It's not wrong to say Beyonce's number 1. I just would have made Taylor number 1.

Yeah. No. There it's not wrong to say. And I actually think you know what? These 2 fandoms, I just I don't want any part in this.

If it was my list, like, it would have been Kelly Clarkson, number 1, Little Mix, number 2. Period.

By the way, it's important to note that Kelly Clarkson was noticeably absent from this list. This list

that this is disgusting. Okay?

And that's why this list is disgusting. It's actually so true. So why, like, why are us caring? We're giving this list credence that it doesn't

like a not because either you're gonna piss off the Swifties, piss off the Beyhive, or piss off Billboard. Like, I'm not part of this.

What's the Clarkson fans call themselves?

The Clarksons?

What do

we call ourselves?

Yeah. I

don't know. You know you know I'm the biggest fan of people, but I've never really engaged in, like, stand,

based on What's the name of Kelly Clarkson fans club? Kelly andators? Clarksonators? Team KC.

No, thank you. That's bad. No, thank you.

That's the name of, like, her official fan club.

That's the Kansas City Chiefs.

Yeah. That's not a good 1.

Sorry. It's okay. When you have raw she's not on the list. When you have raw talent like that

You don't need frivolous things like that.

Yeah. And also, we're, like, grown women, us Kelly fans.

It's true. Like, you're mothers, you're lawyers, you're business owners. Like, you're not Arianators.

Arianators. Oh my god. My entire timeline on every platform now

Me too.

Is behind the scenes wicked content.

And, like, I think I might be an Arianator. Like, I just am.

I actually think I might download threads because I'm getting all these, like, threads from

Really compelling, thought provoking. Yeah.

Teased in my Instagram where they they just cut me off right before the

Right. Where you would be interested.

Their crush I'm so close. Even 1 person, I looked up their handle on x because I wanted to see, and I couldn't find it. They're about to

get me. About threads. Like, that failure. That was really crazy.

I didn't download threads that day that 1,000,000,000 people did. But, like, now these wicked movie reviews that they're leaving me in the lurch might get me.

No. But if you're writing shit on threads and not other places, like, do you not want people to see it?

I don't know. I don't know what's going on, but, like, threads is trying something. I just want you guys I'm warning you. They're coming. They want you to engage.

And you're getting dangerously close.

I'm getting dangerously close to the edge.

I am. So I have to say, the studio has been a dream. Let's just pray that my what do you keep looking up at?

Jack Self. There's a huge Oh, there's a movie right here. Yeah. Huge. Like, I'm literally I'm a movie star.

I it looks like

a movie Jacob Elordi?

Yeah. My period.

Are you at the Marrakesh Film Festival?

Yeah. I actually look like I'm at the Marrakesh Film Festival.

Will you be in the studio tomorrow?

No. Oh. No. We'll discuss.

Oh, am I am I supposed to know something about Tamarisha?

Yeah.

Are you not on?

Yeah. That is the plan.

Were you gonna tell me that? It's fine. I'll get Ben to

sub for you, but then we can tell you to take down. December 4th, December 4th. No. You don't remember? Search December 4 in your texts.

No. What I'm gonna do is text Bette. He's so dramatic, like, when I make any, like, sort of change to his schedule.

Honestly, the studio is pretty close to

the recording. The toast with me tomorrow, question mark? By the way, we can record early if you wanna come back to the studio. You just let me know.

It's pretty close to the airport.

Just makes you think. And then Zach has to get the boys ready for the play, not you.

Yeah. Let me know what Ben says, but, like, we can make it's always a make it work moment.

No. Ben, like, Ben won't be, like, be difficult about it, but then he all he wants to do is come on and promote Goodguys and Spritz. So he'll be like, I'll make it work.

Yeah. No. He loves it, and everyone loves him. So it's like, as much as I'm gonna miss you guys, and, of course, like, I'd love to see my curtain again, it's all to the good.

I would love to see your curtain again too. So we'll discuss offline. That's our show, you guys. Thank you so much for listening to the toast on Monday morning show. We're doing the fastest stories you need to know over Monday through Friday.

And YouTube's watching us on YouTube. Please feel free to subscribe. Give us a video thumbs up. We're also available as podcast anywhere podcast can be found on Spotify, June, Stitcher, public, video, audio, video cast box, all the places where we listen to podcasts. Find us the dose.

Leave a 5 star review. Do it. I dare you.

Do it, you guys. It's been so long.

It's yeah. About how beautiful stunning and giddly talented we are.

Always been so wicked coded. That's wicked coded. Adele, does he? Love you. Bye.