Transcript of A Queenie in Both Hands: Friday, January 16th, 2026

Good morning, girlies. It's The Toast. It's Jackson Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly, It's The Toast. They sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Friday. Things we did that Friday. Hello, Oh, it's 2016 again. Friday.

Things We Did, second full week of the year. What's that?

Oh, with the mustache. Remember when everyone was doing mustaches in 2016?

Oh, barely.

What? That's a core tenet of 2016. Everybody had a fake mustache. Oh, my God. Are you even a millennial?

You know what I'm talking about?

Yes. Mustache. Yeah.

Okay. Mustache.

Do you know how many pictures we had on Facebook? You were always doing this.

I was not. I don't think I was participating in Mustache, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't real. It It wasn't real to you.

Bitch. Now, I want to say something. I have to say this, and I literally, when I woke up today, I'm like, oh my, because I always want to say stuff on the podcast. And then, of course, I forget. Do an amazing episode. And then the one thing I wanted to say, we didn't say. It absolutely bears mentioning that I did not see one comment, and I looked, of anybody saying that they absolutely can't miss an episode of the Mel Robbins podcast. I just want to say.

What I did see was people saying Mel Robbins just went on Good Guys.

I know. And I knew that when I said it.

When you said the smallest, tiniest shows she could find.

Oh, to be clear, I was not talking about the good guys. If I'm Mel Robbins and I want to be successful, I'm going on the good guys.

Yeah, and we've never said the good guys isn't successful. We hate them because they're successful. It's true. If they weren't successful, we wouldn't even notice them.

No, no. We literally hate them because we ain't them.

We are jealous of their success.

Oh, was that not clear?

Yeah. No, I think people thought we were throwing shade, but we actually weren't throwing shade in the way that you thought we were throwing shade.

And I was not talking about the good guys when I was Mel Robbins. And I just feel like I have no issue with Mel Robbins. I think overall, her purpose is a good one, right? She's not hurting anyone.

Do you feel as though you let them?

No, I wish. And I do feel like the let them theory is a little bit flawed.

Okay.

Because I could let them, but some people need to stop. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And of course, not every issue in the world is mine to take on. But with personal relationships, friends and family, maybe you shouldn't let them. Maybe they a harm and risk to themselves.

Perhaps. I feel like I really let them.

I think you do, too. Kelti coined not the let them, but the F them theory. And I feel like I definitely subscribe more to that.

Yeah. I think I'm a Mel Robin swirly. I just so let them. It's my philosophy that you can't really change people, and you can only change how you react to people. Is that what Mel said?

Is that what she has said? I don't know anything about the let them theory beyond we're just letting them. Yeah.

To what end? I don't No.

No. You, Swerlies, might be wondering why both Jaquie and I are wearing a cashmere sweater. I'm wearing a dual neck. Jackie's wearing an ascot, I think we're calling it, right? Or just a scarf?

Wearing a scarf. A lot of reasons for the reason for the look today. A couple of factors went into it.

The first is that it's the '40s.

It's freezing in Florida, which is so amazing. I live like, 365 days for two, the two wear it, it drops below 50 in Florida. It's so exciting. This is my thickest sweater set.

I was such a commuter today. I got in the car freezing, warming up my car. Then when I got here, I didn't want to get out because I had my heated steering wheel on. I was such a regular girl.

I used my tissue warmers. I forgot I have a heated steering wheel.

I didn't even know how to put it on. Bmw just said, Would you like it? It's on. I said, Thanks.

Wow. Then I am wearing a little scarf around my neck because we are playing Mahjong today. I was like, Oh, how could I enhance my look today? As we were saying, I like to add a little trinket or something. I can't wear a hat with this collared cashmere sweater.

To the Mahjong party tonight.

I'm wearing a little scarf, and I thought it added a little something extra, don't you think?

I do think. Jeunessequo.

A little je ne sais pas. I'm excited for Mahjong.

Me too. I'm a little bit nervous because I talk a big game, and I realize that everybody down here plays a version of Mahjong a little bit differently than me. I play with Futures. If you guys know Mahjong, Mahjong. It's just a way of playing. Now, playing without Futures is, I think, how most people play. I learned the Moroccan style from my guru, Esther Chetrie.

And your Moroccan roots.

Correct. Don't forget about that olive skin tone. So I've never played without Futures, and I think people down here play without Futures. It's not that different. But I talk a big game. Yeah, I've been playing since the sixth grade. And like, meanwhile, I'm not going to be able to play because I don't know what the fuck you guys are doing. So it'll be like, I'm excited.

I wonder if everyone has Mahjong imposter syndrome.

I think that they do it. Unless you're of Asian descent and you've been playing for generations and your family, I think people who just pick it up, I think everybody's insecure about it. Okay.

Well, let's see how the game goes today.

Hopefully, the other bitches we're playing with are insecure, too. Yeah.

And we can just be honest about how we're feeling. Yeah. I was on the road this morning and a new fear was unlocked. Be curious. I saw someone get pulled over, and it was very low key. We were all sitting at the stoplight. The police officer was to my right. I noticed that he was there. So I just noticed that. And then as we started all driving green. He turned his lights on. And the person in front of him just pulled over. And I'm like, How would I know if it's meant for me? How do you know who the police officer wants to be pulling over?

It's a good question. In that particular scenario, it's really weird.

It sounds like she... I looked and it was a she. It sounds like she knew she did something wrong. In that moment, I was like, Okay, my registration is up to date. Thank God, it never is. My seat belt's on.

Yeah.

Ten and two. I was dancing a little bit. I stopped. I don't know.

It feels like the girl was pulling over to get out of the way so the police officer could go find his real suspect, and she ended up being the suspect.

It was the two of them, but she just claimed it. Like, Oh, I guess this is for me. She didn't even give him a couple of to confirm. He didn't even turn on.

So there is a first for everything, and I have never been pulled over. I've, of course, been in the car when Ben's been pulled over or someone else. I myself have never been pulled over, and I know at some point it is going to happen. I don't think people go throughout. I think most people on the road have been pulled over at least once. And I'm always prepared, of course. I do hope that it does happen on a day where I am looking pretty because I'm sorry, the world we live in, I do feel like you're less likely to get a ticket when you're pretty. I do also hope that perhaps that cop's wife is a toaster and he recognizes my voice. I do think that that might be a possibility. We have a lot of Leos, law enforcement officer wives.

It's true. My fear, if I get pulled over, I'm ready to take ownership and accountability for whatever it was that I did. My fear is not knowing that it's for me.

A real issue for many Americans.

I don't know how I'm going to know that I'm the one that needs to be pulled over until he literally has to get out the megaphone, white Tesla, pull over.

I feel like when it happens to you, you'll know. When you know, you know.

I think it's like, you know you fucked up. When you know, you know. I think it's You know you fucked up.

And it's so important that your disposition be holding space for accountability. And I think where my husband can improve, because I have been with him, Ben has this thing, and he's gotten better with it, and he hasn't gotten pulled over in many years. But you're supposed to be like, What's the problem, officer? Oh, I did? I'm so sorry. I had no idea. It won't happen again. And Ben says those words, but his tone- He's defensive. What did I do? No. Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Okay. I'm like, Ben, you're being so ready. He's like, What are you talking about? I'm being so nice. I'm like, Do you know what nice means? He's so defensive, but also condescending. That was the one time it happened. I'm like, Girl, you have got to be nicer. I think when we were pulled over, it was in New Jersey, which is so much much scarier because in New Jersey, you get pulled over by a state trooper. In New York, it's like a traffic cop. I don't know. They just don't scare me. New Jersey with the hats? Oh, my God. And we were on the highway, so the guy had to come over to the passenger side to talk to us. So I felt like I was the one being pulled over. I'm like, I'm just here for the ride.

It was about you. You just wanted to talk to you.

And it wasn't looking my prettiest. So we did get a ticket.

What had you... Speeding?

Obviously. And then two years later, Ben went to the DMV to renew his license, and they were like, Sorry, we can't renew your license. It's suspended. And Ben's like, What are you talking about? They were like, You have had a suspended license for a year. And Ben had no idea. I guess he got 11 points. He's gotten two enormous tickets that at some point, you get enough points. They revoke your license. But he hadn't updated his address or anything, so they sent the address to his old parents apartment. So he was driving with a suspended license for a year. That's my husband.

King. My king. My king. Well, other than that, it's been a really great week.

It has. I can't lie. It's been a great week. I'm happy for it to be over. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy the week, but it was still a week.

Yeah. And next week is a shorty because it's MLK Day, so we are off on Monday. Of course. We have a long weekend to enjoy.

Just in case anybody might have been confused as to whether there was a show on Monday or Of course, there's not.

Of course, there's not. We're going to not miss the first holiday of the year.

Not only that, it would be disrespectful. Oh, of course. We obviously honor.

Mlk.

Of course.

Like, duh.

You don't?

Who would want us to do a show?

Somebody disgusting. So, yes, it's a short week next week. I didn't even think about that. What should we do? Clambake trips to the Cape?

Yeah, we have to make a plan. We do. Like, maybe a barbecue? So glad you brought that up. I was thinking like, Sunday night, maybe a barbecue in my place.

Love that idea.

Because we don't have to wake up early.

Completely inspired. Okay. Maybe pool, because it's finally supposed to be nice again starting on Sunday. Okay. I love a barbecue. Okay.

So you're in?

Oh, I'm so in, bitch. My barbecue. Yeah. If you're hosting, procuring- So I guess let's move forward with it.

Me to have to probably get meat today.

Ben's at the Kutcher Grocer right now. Oh my God. Yeah, of course, he's making a recipe.

Oh, what is he making? What he made yesterday looked so good.

You know, I have to say, because I'm always clowning on Ben, he made this Chinese chicken salad-inspired recipe because it's a really popular thing, Chinese chicken salad. But he made a Chinese chicken sla. So it was like a coleslaw salad. Obviously, I didn't eat it, but he made the chicken separately. It was like schnitzel, like a breaded côtlet. And he chopped it up, left it out of the cutting board. And then he went to the bathroom or something, and I went in there and had a couple of pieces of the chicken. Oh, my God, you guys. Don't tell him I said this. I've never had better chicken in my whole life, in my entire life than this chicken.

It looked really good. And that's my favorite salad, like with cabbage.

If you want to know what the secret was for the chicken. You do egg flour. He didn't do flour. He did corn starch. That shit was so crispy. Yeah, I know. None of this means anything to me.

But someone out there wants to know. Did you see what I posted on Instagram yesterday? These new AI food videos. Have you seen them?

No, I'm getting AI food videos of babies made out of orange slices eating orange slices.

Oh, I've seen those. I've seen those. Love. Now I get cooking tips and life tips. It's like an onion being like, Hey, I'm a white onion. Don't put me in something. Cook. They're A food ingredient, yelling at you, telling you how to cook them. I'm a steak. Let me rest 15 minutes before you cook me. It's hysterical. I see so many of them. I send a bunch of them to Ben because I just think they're funny. But I just want to share with the class, is anyone else experiencing these videos? I'm really enjoying them, and I'm learning a lot.

I had not seen them before you posted, although that doesn't mean... I'm not the target demo for it. But that's where AI is a beautiful thing.

It is. It's really a beautiful thing. I'm learning a lot. Last night, I made Ina's Lemon Chicken recipe, which was one of the The worst recipes I ever made when I started cooking years ago. I made it in my old apartment. And it's just so funny now that I'm more experienced, how much- Not up to snuff? Well, one, that it was okay. It wasn't so amazing. But two, how much quicker It takes me to make it. It was like a nothing recipe. When I made that, it was like my big Shabbat. And now it's a couple of chopped garlic cloves and a white wine.

You'd be kind to your former self. Oh, for sure. She was doing her best. She was doing her best. Queenie of the Week. Oh, today's Friday, we are doing Queenie and Weenie of the Week. Oh, today's Friday, we are doing her best. Queens of the Week. Oh, today's Friday, we are doing her best. Queens of the Week. Oh, today's Friday, we are doing her best. Queens of the Week. Oh, today's Friday, we are doing For a historic week, I had such a hard time thinking of a weenie, but the queenie came to me real quick.

I had two queenies. I'm going to share them both.

Should we just be positive this week?

A queenie in each hand.

That's beautiful. Now, me and you. What else? I had to tell you guys. Okay, so Jackie was helping me place an order on Amazon for new children's books because I just ended up with some rogue books here, and they're horrible. And I ordered a couple, and I want to talk about them.

You know this is my favorite subject, and I've been begging you for years.

I Love You Till the Cows Come Home. That was your recommendation. I don't feel like it passes muster. I just want to let you know. Having said that, the next book, I can't read I Love You Forever because it makes me cry. Giraffe Can't Dance makes me cry. I fucking love this book.

I'm dancing. Yes, I'm dancing. Oh, I'm dancing, Gerald, cried.

Oh, Gerald, you're so weird. Oh, my God. When they called Gerald weird, I'm not okay. Yeah. I love this fucking book.

Protect Harold at all class.

Protect Harold. Ben could not. I forget what he was doing, but he was not in the bed reading the book with us. He was just peripheral, going through his backpack or something. And he like, Picks his head up. We all can dance to music that we love. He was like, I love this fucking book. And that's the book Andrew Schultz recommended to you. And books are so personal. I remember him saying, Giraffe's Can't End. I'm like, That book sounds horrible. You guys, this fucking book. Listen to the breeze. It's hard for me not to get emotional while reading this book. And of course, it's about dancing and music, but it's really not. It's a larger message. And Ben and I were actually having a conversation. As most books are. We were having a conversation after we put Ruby down. What is the message of the book? Of course, it's about dancing, but it's about so much more than that. It's about individuality.

It's about trying new things. It's about putting yourself out there. And it's about beating to the beat, dancing to the beat of your own drum, quite literally.

It's such an amazing book. And the thing is, Ruby can't appreciate it yet, but I'm reading it for myself. Of all Ruby wants to read is Brown Bear, what do you see? And I just want to say...

Do you have a page in your book that's upside down?

Which page?

One of the pages in my Brown Bear book is printed upside down. I don't know if that's part of the book.

Is it one of the animals? Yeah. No.

It's like the white bird or something. It's upside down. I think it's an error.

Is the text upside down?

I can't remember, but it felt like an error. I'm glad if you don't have it, then it's an error.

No, I don't have it. I wish he wasn't so obsessed with it.

How do you see children? No. Okay.

So the whole point of the book is you're asking, Brown bear, what do you see? The brown bear sees a red bird. What does the red bird see? A yellow duck. It's a way for animals and colors. I get it. And then the very last animal is like, What do you see? It's like, I see a teacher looking at me. Why would the teacher be in the zoo? Okay. Then the teacher is like, Teacher, teacher, what do you see? And the teacher is like, Well, I see children looking at me. So I think it's about a class trip to a zoo. And it's like, Children, what do you see? And then they name all of the Things, and a teacher, that's what we see. And it's like, the book doesn't end.

It's just like, it's not good. I don't understand how that book got so popular and got so much market share. I feel like if someone set out to write that book right now, like a nobody. Say I was writing a children's book, and that's what I wrote. Nobody would buy it. Nobody would read it. It's not a good book, but it's just ubiquitous.

It is the David Letterman of children's books. It's an industry book. It's an industry book. It's an industry book. David Letterman could never get famous today, like when the pool is much wider. Brown Bear would never, would never succeed in today's economy. Too many good new authors.

It's an industry plan, I think. Giraffe's Can't Dance.

Of course, let's remind, it's right behind Jackie. The best book ever written is The Camper and the Council. I actually need a copy for while I'm here. Grab it. So that's Koji's corner today.

I love that. You know why? Because I could dissect children's books all day, every day. I've said we should a Patreon on it, and I was struck down.

I stand by that, but maybe. Maybe I'm wrong.

Without further a do, do, do, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know.

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Our first story, a little media news. Alex Earle is launching a new a YouTube interview series called Get Real With Me.

So I was wrong. I just want to say I do believe that the project she was teasing is this YouTube series. Myself and a lot of other people thought it was a brand from her, which I do believe we'll get eventually, whether it's skincare or makeup. But I was wrong.

She's launched Hot Mess Media. So she's changed the name of Hot Mess to become Hot Mess Media. And under that, she is launching Get Real With Me, which is a new monthly- I didn't realize she was creating a TNN.

I thought it was just like Hot Mess is now turning into Get Ready With Me.

Yeah, no. And she's keeping the name and just merging. Plus, Get Real With Me is a monthly YouTube series that elevates the viral Get Ready With Me TikTok videos she makes into a full-fledged conversation show. The series will launch on Thursday, January 15th, with an episode featuring her close friend, creator and comedian Jake Shane, with an additional guest set to appear on a monthly basis. It will stream on YouTube and across all video podcast platforms. It is presented by Hot Mess Media with Abigail Loenthal, executive producing. It's filmed in a custom-built dressing room style studio in West Hollywood. It was gorgeous. It's designed to feel stripped back. It features a one-way mirror, hidden cameras, and vanity-embedded microphone. So it's really like a set, not like two people at a microphone, aware that they're at a microphone. They're getting ready and talking. Doing makeup and stuff. In a pargy manner. It really feels like Hailey Bieber's what's in my bathroom or welcome to my- Yeah, I don't know if Hailey Bieber does that anymore, which is a shame because it was great. I feel like she does it when she feels like it.

Right. This is a monthly installment, which I do feel like it's hard for people when you come from the internet, for people to get excited about a monthly thing. They're used to five Alex videos a day and one podcast a week. Sometimes most podcasts now do two a week. So the frequency is, I don't think, ideal for fans of hers, but something so high quality obviously takes more. And she also just has a lot on her plate, and I appreciate her not over committing a A lot of people are like, Yeah, I could do a podcast a week. I'm like, You can't. So I appreciate her not over committing. And I think maybe if it's successful, she'll go maybe not a two a month or one a week. But I feel like it's a lot of hoopla for one thing a month.

Yeah. Like a lot of work, a lot of money. I guess she has other stuff on her YouTube channel. So she's creating other content. She does blogs and stuff. So one piece of content a month will be this, and it is very high quality. And I guess if she was doing a guest a week, then you're a talk show, and then that's your full-time job. And this is not her full-time job. No.

And I do feel like we are reaching a boiling point with celebrity interview shows. We were just talking yesterday about Pete Davidson. I feel like that's why it's hard to get excited about because, yes, Pete is great. But it's like, how many podcasts can celebrities go It's now becoming where people aren't even tuning in, with the exception of a couple of people, like Amy Poehler. I think people tune in for her. It's just about who the guest is, and I'll go watch this show one week and this show another week. It's a little uninspired, the whole celebrity interview thing. Not to say that about Alex, though. I do think that she's on this very unique cusp of celebrity and digital talent. So her having Jake Shane is a great... And I'm sure she'll get a Hailey Bieber, but also go internet, too. So I think it's great. But I do think we're reaching some boiling point with interview shows.

Well, I think when it comes to traditional celebrities, they go on to promote their project, and it's not about conversations. It's just like they're talking about the talking points, and you can't take your talking points to every single show because everyone's tired of hearing it. But when it's someone who has a personality or an interesting story, and it's just conversations. You could do conversations forever. And it's like interview, it does run dry. But if you're a good conversationalist and you can just put out an hour long interesting piece of content, I think that could go on forever.

I do also think the concept of hot mess media is really interesting. Is she going to be launching other content? Like maybe Ashton. I'm curious. I feel like that's not worth her time as just a media personality. It's a lot of management, and it is almost impossible to do it successfully. With the exception of Dear Media, I can't I think of another celebrity, Bill Simmons, The Ringer. I think that's the model, right? When you do that, where you have a successful podcast and then you create a media company. It's almost impossible. And very successful people, smart people do it. And I think that they struggle with it. It's hard to manage talent. It's hard to make your listeners want to listen to another show. Unwell comes to mind. Vile files, they have a little network, and I don't think that their shows are particularly successful outside of Vile files. Not a ton of Unwell shows have popped off, and that's the biggest and baddest to do it. I can't think of an example where it's TNN. It's so hard.

Yeah, it is really hard. I imagine for Alex, I don't imagine she'll get into the business of talent management and bringing on other shows and creators. But anything she does will now be produced by Hot Mess. So even if she did a reality show, I mean, people have been saying, like, Earl Girls Forever. That would be a Hot Mess production. I like that. It just something to own everything that she's a part of.

Yeah, I guess I'm thinking more minutiae, like podcasts, where I feel like it's almost impossible to do. Dear Media. Did I say that already? That's a good example of a show that built a ton of other shows. But I would say nine times out of 10, they fail. But you're right. I'm thinking more like Margot Robbie. Her production company produces every movie, every commercial, everything that she does. It's not just digital content.

To put your stamp on something, get a piece of it. At this point, she's owed a piece of anything that she's doing. Even if it's a commercial, it should be a Hot Mess production.

It's like when you I don't watch any Taylor Swift music video, it's produced by Taylor Swift Productions. Yeah.

I'm surprised she went with the name Hot Mess still. I know. Because when I saw this story first, I'm like, Get real with me. That's great. It's a great name. That's so Alex Earle, and it's so conversation And get ready with me is like such an internet thing. And what we're doing here is we're getting real and we're getting ready. It's actually brilliant. And it made me feel like, Oh, you know what? Hot Mess? What was that? That was a mess. And who wants to be a Hot Mess? And then I kept reading the article, and it's now Hot Mess Media.

I know. And I think that Hot Mess is really associated with a lot of the drama from the Unwell Network. I feel like it was maybe representative of her when she was in her college era. But she's been talking about a lot how she was in this long term relationship, and she's now much more focused on family and business and health, and she's not a hot mess anymore. When you build something, you feel attached to the... We had it with the breath. We couldn't even imagine.

You couldn't cry the breath from what?

We were devastated when we couldn't get the IP.

I was actually thinking that trend, and. What are you singing? You know the song, time cast, the spell on, the trend that's going on. In your 20s, someone will... In your 20s- You will lose the IP to a show called The Morning Breath.

It is important that you don't care.

That's a good one. Let's make it. With a montage of toast. But oh my God, you don't understand the day we found out that we could not have the name the morning breath.

Screaming on the couch, screaming.

We thought it was all over. We thought that was literally the key That was the best, smartest thing we ever did.

I get it because sometimes you're so attached to IP. That was the whole call Her Daddy drama with Sophia and Alex. You know what? That IP proved to be extremely valuable. Keeping it was important. It's not ubiquitous all the time, but I do think she could have left it behind. When I think of it, I think a lot of the podcast drama, I don't think it represents her now as a woman, but whatever.

Whatever. I just thought that was interesting to note.

Get Real With Me is a great title.

And I think a first episode with Jake Shane is a great start. It's going to be fun, and it'll give us a taste of what we can expect.

I'm curious who the other guests are.

Yeah.

If it's going to be more digital, We got to have Ashton, of course.

Yeah, but I don't think that's what this is. She can get real with Ashton all day, every day. I don't. Yeah. Okay, ready for our next story? Mm-hmm. Harry styles, announced this his new disco-themed album ahead of his MSG residency. Harry Style announced on Thursday that he will be releasing his fourth record called Kiss All The Time, Disco Occasionally. So it is a disco album featuring a glittering disco ball during his sunrise, and it will be out March sixth.

Obsessed with the concept of a disco album. I feel like disco is so back, right? All the kids are like, remixing Abba and Saturday Night Fever. Love it. It's very on the nose, and if anyone's going to do it, it's going to be Harry with his outfits and stuff. The title of this album, I don't understand. And not me, like, breaking my neck to read it. Did you see? Because it's written in a circle, so I'm like, Kiss everything. No, it was... What is it?

Kiss all the time, period. Okay, but I didn't know where the first word was, so I was like, All the kiss time.

You're not meant to...

If I hadn't known that that was the title, I wouldn't know that that's the title. I would have just thought it was a weird stamp in the corner.

And then we've got Harry cut out and paste it on the bottom left corner.

It's definitely a weird cover. I think the cover is atrocious, actually. I don't even I think that's a hot take. I haven't seen anyone talking about it, but I think this is the stupidest cover I ever saw.

Okay, I didn't want to be overwhelmingly negative, so I was over here saying it's weird, but I agree, it's awful.

And there's so much you could do. First of all, he's the most handsome man on the planet. Give us your face.

Of course. I do think sometimes people don't want to rest on their laurels of good looks, so they get a little creative.

This cover makes no sense. It looks like it was made in pick art.

No, you know what it's giving, Jackie?

Pee-pee-poo-poo.

Oh, Pick Monkey. Yeah. Remember Pick Monkey?

Yeah. It's like word art. If I just saw this cover, I would say, Harry is having a Pee Pee Poopoo moment.

Although we know this is going to be an amazing album, like disco. Harry's really not capable of flopping.

If I saw something, I would think it's giving Harry Style and his Dead Pets. Yeah, it is.

Just saying. I totally agree. The Pee Pee Poo Poo element of this album cover cannot be overstated.

I know. And I want to not talk about it, but we don't have a first single. We have nothing.

No, he just dropped it on his Instagram, and I was like, What am I looking at?

You are looking at potentially Harry Style's Pee Pee Poo Poo era.

Pee Poo Poo and his Dead Pets.

I just want to let you know. So we'll see when the first single drops, we'll see if it's real music. But this just looks like I'm in the studio, I'm on drugs, and I'm putting out a fart.

I just want to say I'm almost I'm 100% sure it's a real album. It's an album that feels like a real album. I don't think it's Pee Pee Poo Poo.

What was the last album that came out that we thought was Pee Pee Poo Poo? Justin Bieber, Sway12. Swag.

I'm cracking up. It did give Pee Pee Poo Poo because he didn't announce it. He just released it with a billboard, and it was confusing. It was real. But he was also acting Pee Pee Poo Poo. Harry hasn't been acting. He's in a stable relationship. He wears trench coats and walks around the city. He hasn't been giving Pee Pee Poo. Justin Bieber was leading up to his album, giving on the fritz of some manic episode. But just take your time, honey, I get it, I get it, I get it. It wasn't Pee Pee Poo when it got nominated for a Grammy.

Okay. Good luck to Harry.

The way you got it all in I love that song. I think I'd rather you in my bed. Slay. Just take your time, honey, I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it. I would love to learn how to play the drums. I think there's something so sick, and I do have a lot of rhythm. I'm joking. You guys are going to think I'm joking, but I'm not. I'm very musically inclined. I hear the ones and the twos.

As do I. Yeah, music theory. I don't have pitch, but I've got the five, six. I've got the eight count.

When they say... I have beat. I have rhythm.

That's another great book that I couldn't find on Amazon, but it was Harry's favorite when he was maybe it's called Bubby's Got the Beat. You would love it. I'm familiar with it.

You know it? Yeah, where they're like, getting ready for Shabbat.

Yeah. Walking with my family. Looking mighty neat. Going to see my bubby. She's got the beat.

Those inclusive Jewish books are so good.

But it's such a good book. I actually couldn't find it. I need to go back to the store where I first bought it. It was four years ago. We'll find it. We need to find it. It's the best book ever, and the kids would love it now.

So back to me playing drums really quick?

I think, well, we were talking about this on the Patreon yesterday. Oh, like hobbies. Things you want to learn. If you want to learn how to play drums, if you meant that, do it.

So the only thing is I do feel I'm well-equipped to be an actually good drummer. I love music. I've got the beat. Like I said, I find myself like, oh, she's got the beat. I'm always like, tip-tapping. Like a song's on, I'm like... Except I do believe it takes enormous arm strength to be a successful drummer. You have be able to- Well, that could be your workout. I know. It's like, I really, really struggled to hold Ruby. My arms are killing me. I literally have to go to the gym just to get in shape to hold Ruby. So I do feel like that would be the one thing holding me back. I would have to drum for only short songs.

And you would be drumming to what end? To put on a concert for your family? Would you join a little garage band? What would bring you joy?

That's a really good question. For what?

Say you were taking lessons to play the drums and you were able to do... Would you get a drum set for your home to just hobby drum? Would you join a band? What What do you want to do with this skill? Because drummers need a community. It's not a solo act.

That's a good question. Why do I want to learn drums? These violent ends have violent beginnings. What's the purpose? Cause an effect. Calvah Homer.

Yeah. What would you do with that skill? It's not like you could drum on the show.

Because to be clear, I have no interest in being in a band as anything other than lead singer. Are you guys crazy? Of course. Or it's really sick when people drum and sing at the same time. But Again, I'm so out of shape. I actually just saw a video of Hunter Hayes doing it because I'm obviously on Hunter Hayes Talk, and he does this thing at his concert when he plays his biggest song. Crazy. For the last course, he sits down and he's like, And I don't want it. It's actually sick.

Is he on tour right now?

Yeah. I'm going to a show in April now that I've been connected with him because we spoke about him on the podcast. Did I tell you that him and I are messaging?

Well, I saw that he clipped our thing, and then we DM just a tiny bit.

Yeah. But he knows I live in New York.

I didn't know there were shows to be going to. Yeah.

April.

I'll check it out. I would literally... Come to town. He's on my list of Rascal Flatts, Kelly Clarks, and Will Fly For, Hunter Hayes.

I think it's going to be an amazing concert. And the fact that it's in New York and it's a country artist, we're going to get an intimate venue. I don't know where it is, but I don't think it's a huge... It's going to be great.

Wow. Okay.

I know it's crazy. Maybe Hunter will teach me how to play drums.

Maybe if you learn the drums in time for April, you could go on stage.

Love.

Are you ready for our next story? Yeah. Caitlin Jenner is her seal of approval to Kylie and Timothy. I mean, how could you not? A parents, literally, a father's dream.

Yeah.

Caitlin was caught up with paparazzi at the airport. She told the Daily Mail.

Was She was wearing hokas.

She was wearing ninkers.

She loves a sensible shoe.

She is an athlete.

She's an athlete, first of all. She's also an older woman, so you've got to get your orthotic. When she wore hokas to the Kardashian, like goodbye, El Dorado party, and they showed her hokas first. I was cracking up. I wondered if that was sponsored. It was such a good ad. They looked like brand new hokas.

I need brand new hokas.

Let me see what she's- I'm classic Caitlin Fitt. I don't think those are hokas. So she was what? Like paparazzi?

Yeah, paparazzi. Daily Mail was asking her about Kylie and Timothy, and she said, I just want my daughter to be happy, and she is, and I like that. She called Timothy a great kid and a phenomenal actor before revealing that she has seen his new movie, Marty Supreme.

I got to see Marty Supreme. It's just holding me back from living my truest. And the more I learn about it, it's annoying. I keep getting things spoiled, like that Fran Josh was in it.

Oh, thanks for spoiling that. And then- Robert Patinson. And now stop. Okay.

That's all I know. I'm just like, I would like to have learned these things on my own. And Kevin O'Leary. I didn't know that. Did you?

I did, but I already forgot it. And can you stop?

Yeah, sorry. Sorry.

I love Kevin O'Leary.

I do wonder if Kate gets together with Timothée and Kylie and what they do together. I could see them all going like a TV riding or whatever. Yeah.

I feel like this relationship is any parent's dream. They're together three years. She seems so happy. He's so proud of her with her. What's bad to say, but I also feel like Caitlin, she's giving Donna Kelsey here where it's like she's not giving a lot because she's scared.

So it's like, Oh, do you hate Timothy or are you being protected?

So it comes off as like a loofness, but it's mostly like I'm just trying to honor their privacy because they're the most private couple in the world.

That is the Donna Kelsey effect. Are you... Do you hate this person or are you scared? Blink if you hate her and just don't if you are scared.

So I think Donna was scared. And I think Caitlin was as scared as Caitlin could be and just doesn't want to piss off her daughters.

And now having watched three episodes of Traitor with Donna Kelsey in it and understanding her, she's clearly a scared person. It's insane that she would sign up for Traitors or just even any opportunity in the public life because she's not really made for it. And now I feel even more certain than ever. Any time she was asked in the beginning of the Taylor days, that she was crapping her pants. She was so scared.

I don't think she's made for it, but I think for her to have these opportunities at this stage in her life, it's like- It's inconceivable. It's Yolo. My favorite show wants me on. Let's go for two days and see how the sauce gets me.

She's just having fun. Yeah. She's also a single woman, right? Their parents are divorced. Yeah. So she's just living life. She's literally on her eat, pray, love. Right.

So when she's going on today's show and they're asking her about Taylor, it's like, sure, she's not cut out for the Today show, but like, Yolo.

She's Faris Gump.

I think she's in her Yolo era.

Yeah, but she's Faris Gump. She just found herself at the center of this- At the center of culture. Yeah. And she does not know what to do with it quite yet. So she's just having fun.

Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Number four. Mm-hmm. New twist in the Ashley Tisdale Toxic Mom Group drama. What? Movie executives are eyeing a film version. Oh, God.

Okay.

I I actually, I disagree with you. I think this would be our favorite movie. I know we're sick of this- Is Ashley Tisdale executive producing it? No. So other producers are interested in turning the blog post into a movie. That's what happened with Anna Delvey, if you remember. It was originally just someone wrote up what happened with their crazy friend Anna. People bought it and then turned it into a movie. So I guess in this instance, they would be buying Ashley's thing and she would be a part of it. But you could also just make a movie about- Inspired. Inspired by a toxic mom group. This is our favorite genre.

I mean, I feel like it would be a good horror movie. You know what I mean?

No, it would be our favorite movie.

Like Rich Mothers.

Like doing Things in Fighting. There doesn't need to be a murder.

Right. Or like a lesbian triangle of some sorts, and that could be the source of the toxicity.

Yeah.

As it stands now, it's just Ashley's feelings, which doesn't sound like an interesting movie, but- But what did Ashley do?

What was the incident?

Maybe it's one of those books where it's two different POVs. It's Ashley's telling her POV about how all these girls are being mean to her. And then it turns out Ashley's actually in an institution.

But it's also that episode of 30 Rock, where it's Liz was the bully the whole time. She remembers high school where everyone bullied her, but it turned out she was the asshole.

All roads lead back to an episode of 30 Rock. That is the funniest episode where she goes to a reunion and she brings Jack because she's afraid of all these bullies. And they're like, What are you talking about? You were the meanest bitch ever. Liz is like, What are you talking about? You guys all bullied me. They were You bullied us. Oh, my God. I'm still in therapy, Liz. That is the funniest fucking episode.

I feel like that's what this could be. And so they'll obviously play it up for a movie. But what was the incident that got Ashley isolated from the group? And plus the fact that they're celebrities. So any toxic mom group, if someone exits, nobody cares. But I think there's a lot here for a movie and our favorite film.

I know we- It sounds like hunting wives-ish. That was a toxic Mom group, actually.

The hunting lives, Big Little Lies. I know we're fatigued by this particular story and Ashley Tisdale French herself.

Well, I just don't want Ashley involved in the creative. Do you know what I mean? Because then it's biased.

Yeah, but I do think that they are going to use her blog post because that's the only material on the matter.

So I got two pieces of information, actually, about this mom group, and I feel like- I feel like you could share the first one you got.

Okay. You got it from an anonymous source.

I did, but I verified it's an extremely legitimate source. I just want to say what I heard was that all alleged- It's not Hillary who's the mean girl. Right. The media and I think people... Actually, just let people think that, of course, the most famous, Hillary, she's at the helm of the mean side. And what I heard from actually a pretty legitimate source is that Hillary is so not the mean girl. She literally doesn't even care. It's the one who cooks, allegedly.

Ben Saufer.

Then what I also heard, and I won't say because I don't know if this is 100%, but there is an extremely famous person in this mom group who hasn't been named. People don't realize that she's also a part of this group.

That's proprietary information. So that...

Yeah. But, yeah.

I would watch this movie or something. I would watch it, just to wrap it up.

Yeah, if they give it a good... Get the big little eyes treatment. Yeah. I feel that.

That's her favorite. Of course. Are you ready for her for the final story? I am. Jennifer Lawrence thinks she missed out on a role in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood because trolls said that she was not pretty enough to play Sharon Tate.

Now, I feel like every day this week, we've been remarking on something Jennifer Lawrence has said. Up until this point, I was with her. Hashtag, I'm with her. At this point, it's giving fishing for compliments. Obviously, you're prettier than Sharon Tate. Please tell it.

Well, I don't want to be prettier than Sharon Tate.

She's like, I'm not pretty enough. I'm like, No, you really are.

The role went to Margot Robbie, who's equally pretty.

I wouldn't say that Margot Robbie is insanely more pretty than Jennifer Lawrence. These are two of the most beautiful women.

It's just a matter of scheduling.

I'm already dealing with my own self-confidence issues. I actually really don't want to talk about this. I feel like it's going to be damaging to my self-worth.

But go on. I feel like you might enjoy bits Hobbes. There's a couple of things here. Jennifer Lawrence is doing press for her movie, so she's giving a lot of interviews, and she's a very quotable woman because... Big personality. She says what's on her mind. And she was asked about Quintin Tarantino's interest in working with her and if she would ever work with Tarantino. And she said that he did want her to star in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, but she believes the online reactions to her potential casting are what dissuaded him. She said, Then everyone was like, She's not pretty enough to play Sharon Tate. And then they didn't cast her. She said, I'm pretty sure it's true, or it's that thing where I've been telling story this way for so long that I believe it. No, but I'm pretty sure that's what happened, or he was just never considering me for the part, and the Internet just went out of their way to call me ugly.

So I don't remember this. And I feel like when there is negative things to say about Jennifer Lawrence, I don't have anything negative to say, but the internet does every now and then say, She's annoying. She tripped, right? Remember that? And they say, People started a bunch of rumors about her as it related to Harvey Weinstein. I've never heard anybody say that she's not pretty. Yeah. So I feel like this is maybe a figment of her imagination.

I agree, but that's how she really experienced it. It really feels like that's what she thinks happened. I would give a little bit more credit to Quentin Tarantino.

Yeah, I don't know the man. I just don't think he cares that much about what mentally ill stands have to say on Twitter.

And if he thinks someone's the right person for the role. I always see this fun fact about Inglorious Bastards, that they almost didn't make the movie because they could not find the right actor to play Christoph Waltz? Yeah.

I mean, he's one of a kind. I don't know if he won any awards, but the way he sends a fucking chill down my spine, like the second, Au revoir Shoshana. That is like When it comes to what they'll watch in acting school, it is Christoph Walsh as the Nazi. Right.

So Quentin, who almost shelves a whole project because he couldn't get the casting right, isn't going to take casting direction from the internet. But I guess like, Jen heard that she was up for it and then saw that, and that's how she saw it play out. But she might have just lost the role. I'm going to give Quentin more credit than that. I am. And then also she said- The man decided to pick up and move to Tel Aviv.

He obviously does not care what people think of him.

Right. She also said that she was offered the role of Daisy in his movie, The Hateful 8, which ultimately went to Jennifer Jason Lee. She said, I turned it down. I should not have done that.

That means nothing to me. I don't know what that movie is. I thought you were saying Daisy and Daisy Jones in the sixth, which honestly, she would have been great.

She would have been great. She would have been really great. No, it hopefully came out in 2015, so I wasn't paying attention.

I love when people tell us.

But I think it was like, he's done nine movies. Each one is...

Biger and better than the next.

So I think to miss out on the Quentin project is a mistake for him.

This is what we call, well, Miss Casting News. What do we call it? Almost Casting. Almost Casting News. One of my favorites when like, celebrities who made it and they're fine do tell us the big things they missed out on.

Yeah. And it makes you realize like, oh, they're all interchangeable. Like, they could have been great in that. Yeah.

With the exception of three movies, Titanic.

Miss Cast?

No, I just mean if you miss that one, you should feel bad.

Oh, but I also feel like if somewhere an Ls played Rose or Jack, the movie still would have been great. That's what I mean by interchangeable. I don't feel personally connected to Kate Winslet as Rose. Leo as Jack, maybe more.

Yeah. I don't know. I feel most connected to, of course, Victor Garber. Of course. No one else could have played that role.

Of course. The worst captain of all time.

And I do think the film It would have suffered. It would not be the Titanic.

I do think he went down with the ship.

Right.

He didn't get on a life raft. He didn't get it. But there was a guy who got on a life raft who was responsible for the sinking. Insane. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of survivor's girl with the Titanic.

Do you think that if you were alive in 1912, correct? Do you think you would have gotten on the Titanic? No, I feel like you don't like to be the first.

My personality is not... Oh, that's like people who go to space right now.

I don't know if I've said this before, but I was alive in 1912. Brian Kelly 100% would have invited me on the Titanic, and I would have went.

I don't think you would have went, but you would have been invited. Then you always would have said, I was invited.

Oh my God, my dinner party trick. Do you guys hear about that boat?

I was invited on the Titanic, but I couldn't go.

Yeah, because I podcast every day.

That's what I think would have happened. I would not have gone. No.

That's interesting. I feel like I'm having deja vu that we had this conversation once before, and I literally texted Brian and was like, If you were alive in 1912, do you think he would have gone on the Titanic? He would have.

But I also feel like the Titanic was very much a means of getting somewhere, not just a fun thing to do. So unless you had to get to New York. And he's more in the business of fun things, traveling for fun.

Right. And wasn't it leaving London?

Yeah, it was leaving the UK, coming to America. Made a couple of stops along the Coast.

Oh, really? So were there people who got off the Titanic?

No, it was picking people up. Everyone was going to the US, but from a couple of ports.

Picking up more victims.

Yeah.

Well, those are the fast five stories. The show is not over yet because it is time for Queeny and Weeny of the Week. Every Friday, Jackie and I just like to tie up the week with a little bow with a segment we call, Queeny and Weeny of the Week. It's extremely self-explanatory. We give out two awards, Queeny of the Week and Weeny of the Week. Again, you're a queenie, you might be queenie. You are a weeny, you might be weanie. Let's start. What do we want to start with?

Queenie. I have two queenies, if I may. Please. My first queenie is someone who really influenced my week for the better mood booster, if you will, and that's Pitbull. I was listening to old Pitbull music, and he's just such a king. The music is so good. His lyrics are so funny. He's just cracking me up. That energy, the positivity, I love it. Then I saw a story today that I didn't pick as a story because I was going to share it during my queen, which is that he's going on tour, a North American tour with Lil John. I actually think I'm going to go. I have to tell you- I think he's now an artist I will travel for.

We have had this conversation before, and it was a little bit jokey. We're going to see Pitbull in concert. People flutter to the comments being like, I have to tell you, I saw people in concert. I got free tickets from work or whatever. And it was the best concert they'd ever been to. He should have a Vegas residency.

He should do the Super Bowl. I was listening to his disography. He's worked with everyone. He would bring out so many guests. I have said this for years. Nobody listens to me.

Wait, we have a Hall of Fame of people who haven't done the Super Bowl yet. Obviously, Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Pink, Pitbull.

Every time I say Pitbull, nobody's listening.

I've never heard you say that. Nobody's listening.

So he is one of my queenies of the Week for making my commute so pargy and reminding me why- Why I got up in the morning. Why he is who he is. Love that. My other Queenie of the Week is Sydney Sweeney for meeting with the two hostages, Noah and Avinatan, and she just does not give a fuck. It's very refreshing in this cold, cold world. Yeah. Who's your queenie?

Who was my queenie? I wrote it down, but I want to see if I can memorize a little Brain Camp.

Brain Camp. The word I was looking for yesterday, I think it was on the Patreon when I was looking for a word and we were talking about traitors. It was wild card.

Oh, I remember. Braincamp. Okay. My queen of the Week is not a person. It's not a place. It's more of a thing. It is this 2016 trend. All week, people have been sharing throwback pictures. When I tell you this trend, and I think trends are stupid. I'm not everyone to be like, I love this trend. It's bringing me so much joy. One, it's like we're getting our shine as millennials, I guess. And it just reminded me of simpler times. Obviously, people in my close peripheral friends and family sharing, and then I seeing old pictures of myself. But I've really been enjoying other people's. I feel like we get to a boiling point with trend that everybody does it, every brand, and I'm so over it. No, the brands are doing it. I'm loving it. It's a trip down such a fun time in my life that I've been getting a lot of joy from it.

I agree. I'm really enjoying other people's family and friends. I see myself and also- Of love. Remembering the good old days. But other influencers who, one, either I did follow. I'm like, Oh, my God.

Yeah, you used to do that. Shout out to Amanda Stanton. Did you see hers?

Oh, no. But I was thinking of Jade Repair-Tillbers, and it's such a time capsule.

Yes. It literally Amanda Stanton's was pictures of her and Lauren Lane, Ashley I from The Bachelor, her cover of Us Weekly, Why I trust Josh. Okay? I loved it. So usually, once everybody starts doing a trend, I start to hate it. I cannot stop scrolling through people's- Oh, should I do it?

I looked through my 2016 photos just to be like, Oh, what was I doing? But I was like, Oh, I won't pose, but maybe I should pose. You should.

And you could look through your Snapchat memories. That's a really good way to find stuff.

Yeah. Also, then there are people who I follow now who I didn't follow back then who I'm like, Oh, that's what you were up to. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. So I agree. That's been a fun one.

Now, my Weeding of the Week goes to Kiefer Sutherland, obviously, for assaulting his Uber driver, as we reported yesterday, but obviously because that's bad, right? But more so, he made me look bad because I'm always telling celebrities to take Ubers, and he did.

And you don't like that, and you don't take that lightly. I don't.

I felt it was a personal assault, not only on the driver, but on me as well. What about you?

My Weanie.

Do you not have one?

I don't really have one because I was like, I was going to go for two queenies. Okay.

Also, honorable mention to the person who designed Harry Style's album. That's also like a weaning.

Oh, yeah. Though I don't think it was a person. I think it was like- A chatbot? Hi, Harry.

Oh, wow. Jackie's really convinced this is a Pee Pee Poo Poo.

I'm not convinced, but I think that... Because I actually, I don't think he's at a place in his career where he's going to put out Pee Pee Poo Poo. But I do think everything that he's given us is Pee Pee Poo Poo, and we can't ignore that. And we're just ignoring it because why? Because we like him? Yeah, that's why. And he thought- And that's bias. And we have to confront our biases. Okay.

Confront your biases, girl. Confront them. I love that. I love that.

So that's all.

Yeah, so sad. I hate to just, as they say, bidding is such sweet sorrow.

It is. But we're actually about to podcast, right? Again, right again, right After this, we're doing a Patreon episode. So head over to patreon. Com/thetoast if you want more toast, especially on Monday, we're not doing a show. So if you're like, Oh, sad, no show. There's literally 300 plus episodes on the Patreon.

Yeah, and today we'll be recording a Parenthood-themed one because I'm just getting inundated with Parenthood questions.

I also feel like I need to say this. I feel like when we talk about Patreon, if you've never heard of Patreon, you're like, what the hell is that? It's just like a website. You go to patreon. Com/thetoast and you make a login, and literally it's like a blog full of hundreds of podcast episodes.

Yeah. So it's $7. 99 per month. And with that, you get five extra episodes every month from us. But you also get access to every month's five episodes for the last six years.

Yeah, you get everything that came before it.

There must be like 500 episodes on there now. There's blogs, famous ones, of course, The Great Chili Cook Jackie Dressing Me For St. Bart's, Cleaning Out Closets. That's so good. Jackie's Stroller reviews. We have parent and stuff. Olivia comes on, Ben comes on. We do cooking, and you can go back and watch all of it.

And it's much more personal, less celebrity-focused.

Even though we do then do episodes that are pop culture, TV recap, deep dives on famous couples throughout history. We actually did do a famous couples throughout history.

We had to. We got really creative over there, and it's like, don't be intimidated. It's just a website. Or you could download the app, but it's really easy It's OnlyFans or Substack. It's just a subscription service.

And then once you do subscribe, you can get those episodes on your Apple or Spotify. It's super easy.

If you're tech savvy, you could put the RSS into your podcast app. It's super easy.

And then you get access to our Facebook group, too.

Oh, yeah. Which is just for Patreon members. I just wanted to remind everyone. Yeah.

Well, that's our show, you all. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast on a Milana Morning Show. We deliver the fast life stories. You need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe. We have this video. Thumbs up. We're also available as podcast on this podcast. We're a podcast. Can be found. That's Spotify, iTunes, sit your public video. I already cast box. All the places. We have a listening to podcast, that's Toast on the I've read about a beautiful. That's stunning. And about how wickedly talented we are. Hope you guys have an amazing weekend. Again, we are off on Monday for Martin Luther King Day, and we will see you on Tuesday.

Love you. Bye.

11: 58, Mittagspause. Dein Magen knot lauter als der Bürohund. Und dann ploppt der Chat auf. Kantine? Wie immer? Wenig später blickst du auf die wie immer mickrige Portion und denkst dir nur: Wir hätten zu Mac es gehen sollen. Für den Big McDonalds-Hunger, probier den neuen Big Gouda und den Big Tasty Red Steakhouse mit 100% Rindfleisch aus Deutschland. Solange der Vorrat reicht, nicht zu unseren Frühstückszeiten.