Transcript of Spider-Man Sets Box Office Records | Hour 3

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I want to play again for the audience after this Schubel trade that has a whole lot of people throughout baseball and even outside of baseball, really a seismic kind of trade, unusual in a lot of different ways. But chief among them, I just don't see many trades anywhere that get the attention of all sports fans, whether you like baseball or not claiming unfairness about something. It's just not something we see very often. And we played those ads recently where baseball is getting out in front, uh, with the propaganda. Uh, this sport is going to lock out. There will be a work stoppage. It will not be avoided. And again, baseball fans, uh, just as they got everything fixed, will be disappointed about the fighting over money. But let's just play one of those ads that's unlike any ad I've ever seen a sports league put together. Like to see a little bit more parity, man. A little bit more competition.

Let's give these young guys like a salary floor.

100% use the salary cap.

That's the biggest issue in baseball right now.

You got a loaded team like the Dodgers going against teams that don't have any big names.

It needs to be more equitable. It's imbalanced big time when it comes to big market, small market. NBA, NHL, and baseball, it seems to be more competitive. A small market could compete because all the teams would have a cap.

I think the Reds would have a better chance to win if the salary cap was implemented.

If it's fair, it's more competitive, fun for baseball.

All the teams being competitive and being able to have a fun season. Does that commercial land exactly the same way if one play goes differently in last year's World Series and Toronto wins the World Series. One play, any place in the 7 games goes differently, or in the last game, the, the Blue Jays are your champion. With what kind of payroll? Certainly a payroll smaller than Boston and New York's in their own division, correct?

So last year it was smaller than New York but more than Boston, because remember, Boston has sort of been shedding payroll over the last 5 years. Toronto had a top 5 payroll., it was still $100 million less than the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Do you guys think the conversation is the same? They can air that commercial if the Blue Jays win the World Series?

Yes. Yeah. I don't think that changes much. I think 80% of baseball fans is a very strong number that, that, that are in support of a salary cap. I just find it really funny that billionaires are using the consumer.

It's amazing.

Uh, in this, in this movement to cap wages to attack the millionaires.

Seattle Mariners. Greg Cody owes us a walk from here to Seattle because he didn't think that there was a way that the Seattle Mariners wouldn't be in that World Series after they came back from— the Blue Jays came back from down 2-0. If the Mariners had won the World Series last year, it all lands the same?

You're looking at a 1-year outlier. You're still looking at a World Series that featured the LA Dodgers, I think.

Yeah, but I'm looking at a World Series that featured the LA Dodgers, who could have lost and should have lost to the Padres. They should. And the Padres also spend plenty.

That's not— that is a supermajority when it comes to fans' opinion. It's not going to— it's not going to change things all that much. You'll go from 80% to what, 74%?

I just know that the Marlins have a chance and they just swamped the Mets and the Mets don't have a chance and the Mets are spending as much as anybody like the Mets. The Mets have a payroll. That rivals anybody's payroll outside of the Dodgers.

The thing about baseball, and it's why the Dodgers have become what they are, is because if you run your team well and you run your farm system well, you can continuously win. Look at the Brewers, look at the Guardians, look at any example of these small market teams that continue to succeed. The Rays. The problem has been ultimately winning the entire thing. They might win their league, they get to the World Series, they lose. The Guardians lost to the Cubs, the, the Rays back in the day. The Rays lost to the Dodgers in 2020. Which was a shortened season that nobody really remembers. The Dodgers won that World Series.

The Tigers could have won the whole thing last year, and they had a payroll that can't afford Schuble.

Yep.

And the Dodgers are the Rays. They're run by Andrew Friedman. Their farm system is immaculate.

That's the thing, though. The Mets are run poorly. Look, man, one of the great stunning things of my lifetime is that Brian Cashman is still allowed to run the Yankees when they haven't won the World Series in 17 years. What the hell is that? Like, that, that team has never allowed that kind of patience with that kind of money from its leader. They'll get to the playoffs, but they never win the World Series because it's hard to win the World Series. We'll get back to this in a second, but Amin Elhassan is with us now, and we've got some weekend observations to get to with Amin. I also want to find out, my friends can't get into Spider-Man here. It's all sold out. Spider-Man is sold out here locally, at least. Your movie friends? Because theaters have closed down, so there aren't that many theaters where it is that you can still see some of this. The one that I would go to if I were interested in these kinds of movies, which I'm not, no longer is open. But Spider-Man is doing monster business. I mean, do you care?

Yeah, I went and saw Spider-Man on Saturday with my kids, and to get tickets— I mean, I live in a place where there are 3 mega theaters within about 3 miles of my house, and every single one of them had 8 billion showings of Spider-Man, both, uh, laser, 3D, uh, you know, IMAX, all that stuff. And every single showing was either sold out or like the front row was the only thing that was available. Finally got 4 tickets, uh, side by side for a 10:40 AM showing on Saturday. That's how hard it was to get to see Spider-Man.

Can you guys look up some numbers for me? I thought this was kind of dead. I know that, uh, I know that, uh, Top Gun, uh, is something that got people back to the theaters. Uh, The Odyssey is getting people back to the theaters. But is Spider-Man going to end up dwarfing everything? Because I have not heard all theaters sold out and no one can get into a movie unless it's bad seats, front seats, or bad times.

The one thing I am seeing, at least by the Regal by me and Mike, is the one that they, they've actually done it to where the, the seats themselves are smaller, right? There's not as many seats in the auditorium as there used to be. There's like maybe 20 or 30 seats now. So I'm looking at— there's 47 different showings. And like Amin said, yeah, like the only stuff that's available is the front row unless you want to do 10:30.

Is this the biggest opening ever? Like, is this— because I thought this was all dead. I thought this could never happen again.

At $360 million opening weekend, it beat Avengers: Endgame. It's, according to The Hollywood Reporter, the top opening weekend ever.

So what's happening there on, uh, the, uh, general idea that Spider-Man is connecting obviously across generations in a way that all the other movies can't.

Spider-Man had a huge resurgence too with younger people. Um, young people freaking love Spider-Man. So you get your core audience that's going to be in on Marvel no matter what, but this new generation is certainly pushing it.

I mean, yeah, and I think, you know, one of the things about Spider-Man is It is a franchise that has done well. They've put out solid entries every single time. So even if you're not caught up with the MCU, you're not a Marvel Comics fan, you go to a Spider-Man movie, you're going to get a good movie. You're going to get a good movie that's entertaining, that's funny, that's good action, that's got some heart to it. Tom Holland is one of the biggest stars in the world. Zendaya is one of the biggest stars in the world. And, and I think they You know, I know Mike disagrees with me. I think they totally landed the plane with this. By the way, $360 million domestic, $927 million worldwide for the opening weekend. That is an absurd number. They almost hit a billion on opening weekend. This is, by the way, the worst possible thing for Hollywood because it just reinforces in their— in their minds the idea that every movie has to be a franchise and every movie has to have existing IP and there is no space for a regular small movie with, you know, good characters and actors that are maybe not the biggest stars in the world?

Yeah, it's tough because all the lessons from The Odyssey probably go out the window.

Yeah.

As execs just look at the success of the existing IP in Spider-Man. But I, I seem to be the only person on the planet that, that didn't really rate the movie all that much. And it's a, it's a global sensation. I think one thing that we're overlooking is just how strong generationally the IP of Spider-Man has just become.

Are you guys—

sorry, I mean, are you guys of the opinion that Spider-Man is the biggest of all of these things? That if I tell you—

connects with younger people in more profound ways than Batman does. I think it has become— Spider-Man has become the tentpole intellectual property when it comes to comic books because the cartoons are great. You have Miles Morales. It hits different demos. It hits different ethnicities. Spider-Man is just such a massive piece of America. And yeah, I, I, they've done a really good— Disney in particular has done a really good job with that IP in making sure it's become the biggest possible thing.

And I would also throw in, like, the thing about Spider-Man the character, and I think of myself as a kid reading the comic books, all the other superheroes were like saving the world from this impending disaster. I mean, whether you're talking about Superman and Batman with the DC side, or on the Marvel side, the Avengers, or, you know, or, uh, um, you know, Iron Man, or any, any of those guys, Captain America. When you talk about Spider-Man, it's like he's literally your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. He's like, he, he lives here, he lives in Queens. Spider-Man, Peter Parker's broke. Like every other superhero, they don't have any like real world problems. Spider-Man was like the first comic book character like He has real-world problems, dude. Like, he can't pay his rent, his boss hates him, like, his girlfriend is on again, off again, and then also he has to save the city and regular citizens from these crazy lunatics, the Sinister Syndicate or whatever you want to call it. So I think there's something about Spider-Man that's— I know Dan won't agree to this, but it's very grounded as a superhero. It's like, yeah, this guy has real-world problems beyond, I have— I must save everyone.

Wait a minute though, you say that I won't agree with this when what you guys are saying is making me think weirdly that the greatest of the superhero characters that connect with people enough to save not just communities but the movies are the two superheroes who are almost most human. It's Batman and Spider-Man. Now, Spider-Man, obviously the, the swinging through cities with webs isn't very human, but among superhero talents and abilities, these guys are the two most human of the popular superheroes, are they not? And they've got the two most popular franchises, right? But he's identifiable.

Peter Parker is more identifiable than Bruce Wayne because Bruce Wayne ultimately is a billionaire, whereas all the things that Amin highlighted is why so many people connect to the character. This guy gets bullied in high school. This guy's main persona gets trampled at work.

He continues to get bullied. Like, it's not like, oh, now I'm strong, I'll beat up all the bullies, this won't happen. Like, he still kind of like gets the short end of the stick in his everyday life. Dude, what are you doing? But you know, it's— it is— that's what grounds him, right? In a way that Bruce Wayne can never. Because at the end of the day, we're all gonna say, yeah, but you're a billionaire. Oh, I'm sad my parents died. Yeah, but like, that happened a long time ago, dude. You're a kid when it happened. Come on, like, you're fine. You got billions of dollars, you got supermodels and jets and boats and stuff like that. And also, by the way, Batman, not for nothing, kind of like takes out petty criminals. With a zeal and a zest that makes me question, like, hey, what's going on with this guy? Poor people. You have billions of dollars and you're gonna take out some guys that are trying to rob a bank? Hey, how about you take out, like, oh, I don't know, some of the ills of society, like homelessness?

There's this billionaire tax bracket in Gotham. Gotta take out the mayor.

Don't like him.

Down, Levitar!

There's sunglasses in boxes today, but in my bed in the hospital Ending our lives all the same.

Jeremy Tatché.

It's the final nightgown.

This is the Dan Levatar Show.

Put it on the poll. Does Batman take out the common criminal with a zeal that makes you question him? Yes or no? At Levittard Show. I mean, how long do you think you could keep your left arm over your head?

My left arm over my head? Yeah, probably for the end of this segment. Like, how high? Like here? Or like—

yeah, up high. I don't think you can do it till the end of the segment. You think you can do this? No, there's no way you're going to do it till the end of the segment. But let's go ahead and start the weekend observations with Amin and see how long he can hold that arm up before it gets tired, because I'm going to say 5 minutes.

It is time for Amin to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy.

I mean, Weekend Observations is brought to you by Miller Lite. Legendary moments start with a lite.

Dan!

MLB trade season is a-buzzin'. A time where teams try to beef up their lineups or shore up their bullpens, trying to make the leap from pretenders to contenders with a single acquisition. Or if you're the Los Angeles Dodgers, mess up everyone else's day by acquiring a heavily sought-after player that they really don't need. Come on, baseball. I feel like Aaron Paul in Breaking Bad. They can't keep getting away with this. Mookie Betts, Freddie Freeman, Shohei. Now they get Skubal. They didn't need any of these franchise centerpiece players, folks. They just did it because they could. Top 5 things the Dodgers don't need but will acquire anyway. Number 5: the last couple of AAA batteries for your remote control. You ever had that, Dan? Like, the remote battery's dying and like you're searching and searching, you find one but you never find the two. That's because the Dodgers got them. Number 4, the only compatible kidney your nana needs for her transplant operation. Number 3, the leftover Chinese food you had in the work fridge that you had your name on, you were counting on for lunch, but when you open it up at lunchtime, it's gone.

Number 2, James Harden. And the number 1 thing the Dodgers don't need but will acquire anyway. The last Miller Lite in the cooler at the cookout.

I've put Amin in the bad position of having to use one hand to read through his notes. I'm sorry I did that to you, Amin. How's that arm feeling right now? Is it all right?

Feels fine.

Okay.

Feels fine. I'm in New York City, Dan, to record PTFO. As per usual, I have no idea what it's about. All I know is if you're Kawhi Leonard or Chauncey Billups or Terry Rozier or Adam Silver, you should probably tune in. Terry Rozier's lawyers claim that a text from co-conspirator Denero Laster and an unnamed recipient should exonerate Rozier from any implication in the gambling scheme. Allegedly, Laster texted someone, "Don't tell Chum," Rozier's nickname, about the bet. The unnamed recipient replied, "Hell nah." Then the Dodgers bet the under. God damn it, Andrew Friedman, is there anything you'll leave for us? Silence. Jacob Mizrowski pitched 7 innings with 10 strikeouts and gave up only 2 hits and 2 earned runs. Nobody beats the Miz. Well, unless you're the worst team in Major League Baseball, then you might beat him in that game. How crazy is that? The Angels, they shut them out. Yeah, what's a guy gotta do? It feels like the world, or at least the internet world, is consumed with Sophie Cunningham's opinions on transgender athletes instead of asking themselves, why is Sophie Cunningham a voice of importance? All this focus on Sophie Cunningham is the equivalent of the NBA being obsessed with Aaron Wiggins.

What are we doing here, Andrew?

Andrew.

No, there's a guy called Aaron Wiggins.

He used to play for the Thunder.

That's Andrew Wiggins. That's a bye for both of you guys.

Aaron Wiggins is no longer—

We had the wrong B-roll.

But who was obsessed with Aaron Wiggins? I just saw a picture of Andrew Wiggins show up on my screen.

That's the point. Sophie Cunningham is basically Aaron Wiggins, the less famous Wigan.

Thank you. Thank you, Tony, for being a ball knower.

Thank you, bro. I'm sorry. That's crazy.

They put up a picture of Andrew Wiggins. They put up— the picture on the screen was of Andrew Wiggins.

Our fault.

Of Aaron Wiggins. Can't see the screen. All I'm telling you is that Aaron Wiggins has career averages of like 8 points a game, just like Sophie Cunningham. Can you imagine if we were all just obsessed with what did Aaron Wiggins say today? And like a bunch of like press conference questions all aimed at Aaron Wiggins. And then we got to ask like Atlanta star player Jalen Johnson, yo, what do you think of Aaron Wiggins? Like, it'd be insane. But that's what we're doing here with Sophie Cunningham. Kelsey Plum traded to the Phoenix Mercury after only a season and a half with the Sparks. She's averaging a career-best 24 points per game, the highest scoring average for a player traded mid-season in WNBA history. Surprised the Dodgers didn't pick her up. Like, what are you waiting for? Like, oh, I could use— I could use Kelsey Plum.

Why?

I don't know, just because. Cinephobe episode 319, American Ninja 4, starring Michael Dudikoff but not Steve James. Can we really call an American Ninja movie an American Ninja movie if the American Ninja, Steve James, is not in the American Ninja movie? I say no. Cinephobe, wherever you get podcasts. Yani and Pitino. In the span of about 10 days, went from almost making an obscene amount of money by selling off parts of FIFA to having his career being on life support. Good riddance. Can't wait for whoever is even more corrupt and has even less scruples to take over. That weird, like, we're like, get him out of here, like the next guy's gonna be any better. The next guy's gonna be worse. Has be, right?

No, it can't be. How much worse can it be?

How—

always get worse.

How much worse can it possibly get?

Fooled again.

That— how much worse can it possibly be than trying to sell 20% of something that's not for sale to the Trump family?

Sell 100% of it.

Exactly. The next guy's name—

the next guy's name that is a leading contender to take his job Victor Montagliani.

Uh, I mean, get that arm up. I see it getting weaker. Get that shoulder up.

Sorry, stop sending me American Ninja Warriors, American Ninja Warrior reels on IG. Someone who spends their entire lives training for this shit did better than I did as a 40-year-old 7 years ago. Color me impressed. Sorry, I've led a full and meaningful life while other people are surrounded by obstacle courses in those foam cubes for 16 hours a day. All right, so we're on the topic of John Infantino and, and soccer and everything. Uh, the big story obviously is Vini Jr. for Real Madrid. Is he going to get transferred or not? Is he going to get transferred to Arsenal? And I'm wondering how many people are going to connect the dots and realize Arsenal's failure to acquire Vini Jr. so far is all Sam Presti's fault. You guys know about this?

No one?

Okay, fine, I'll do it. Keep your third eye open, folks. Buckle up. So Vini's rumored transfer fee would be around $175 million. That would be the third highest in the history of soccer, right? Arsenal is owned by the Kroenke family, who also own the Denver Nuggets. The Denver Nuggets payroll is currently the second highest in the NBA, with an estimated tax bill of $33 million. They're firmly in second apron territory, and that's without having given the contract offer to Peyton Watson. The reason they're in the second apron without Peyton Watson's salary is because they have to match an offer sheet that Spencer Jones got worth 2 years and $11.75 million. Now I know what you're thinking, that's not that much money. Yeah, well, the reason Spencer Jones got that offer sheet is because Sam Presti extended that offer sheet despite having a bunch of luxury tax issues of his own. And the reason Sam Presti did that clearly because he's a Tottenham fan or some shit and he hates Arsenal. What a magnificent hater. Because he spent— because he tendered a contract offer to Spencer Jones, who most people could pick out in a lineup, that has put Denver in a payroll situation where they're gonna go crazy to the tax to keep Peyton Watson, they actually like.

And that, as a result, has shortened the cash flow that they have available to pay for Vinnie to go from Madrid to Arsenal. Keep the third eye open, folks.

Why, while you were talking about that, did the video team choose to put up the arms of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers muscularly shaking hands for 12 seconds in—

because I'm not done. Because I'm not done. You have to respect it. That hater move. As a fellow hater, I love it. I want to dab Sam Presti up and call him a son of a bitch while our biceps flex and glisten.

There you go. That explains why that was up on the screen before it should have been.

I shouldn't have explained it. I should have just let it sit there, and then it would have been our little joke. Here's the Science, a Bar Rescue podcast hosted by Chelsea Reynolds, a real-life bar and restaurant consultant, Colin Cassard, a real-life veteran of the commercial kitchen and food truck scene in Portland, and two guys who will gladly forego an obstacle course in favor of getting a cold one, me and Zach Harper. Here's the Science, wherever you get podcasts. Also live watch-alongs every Monday.

That arm's getting tired. That arm's getting tired.

Admit it. It's the scrolling. It's the scrolling.

I know, but just admit the press.

This is hard.

It is impressive, but admit that it's getting a little fatigued. I can see it dropping, and I understand why it's dropping. It's harder than it looks. It's harder than I think— than I thought it was before I tried it.

How long did you last?

About this long.

Convenient. All right, last week on Here's the Science, we reviewed the episode of The Tonic Lounge in Portland. A bar that had an insect infestation both in their kitchen and in their liquor bottles, and mushrooms in their walk-in freezer that would have made Wembley look like Brad Williams. Massive mushrooms. It's the literal bar from hell. Speaking of hell, Argentina. Those are the weekend observations.

Down, Levitar!

Jessica thinks you're pathetic. I saw the look on her face. It can never be the lane to victory, man. No, I think Jeremy's pathetic. Jeremy, you should hear him back here.

So sad.

Most absurd theater kid basketball analysis line that I've ever heard from him.

Jeremy Tatché.

My dad was talking about the adjustments that Spo made and criticizing him last night.

And Jeremy, just back here, his adjustments were spectacular.

It's just like they lost. They're down 0-2.

This is the Dan Levatar Show.

So keep your arm up here till the end of the segment. Only 13 minutes left in the segment here. Bam Adebayo has said to the Sun Sentinel, oh look, they found the Indian gentleman whose arm was locked above his head, uh, for many, many years, since 1973, uh, because I was arguing, Ameen, that this is much harder than many people think, and I don't think that most people could do it for 24 hours. Just having done it for the last 5 minutes, do you think that, uh, there are many people—

5 minutes? Are you out of your mind? It's not been 5 minutes.

Yeah, you started at 7:10. Minutes.

Yeah, it's been, it's been 10 minutes. Okay, it's not been 5.

It's been about as long as I did it for. Um, the—

no, I don't believe that either. Yeah, I don't believe that either.

That feels right.

It seems, it seems mathematically, scientifically, it might have been a little bit longer. Yeah, um, but, uh, you're in give or take territory.

I love how Amin won't give us though that it's like hurting at all.

He's like, no, I'm good, this is 100%, not, not feeling anything.

He's also never been hungover.

I've never been hungover. That's true. Well, once I think I had one hangover one time. It was New Year's Eve, but it's— that was— well, if I described to you how much I had that night, it would be like, yo, why weren't you hospitalized? It was, it was crazy.

Outside of the Indian gentleman whose arm got stuck in that position because he had it over his head since 1973, do you believe there is anybody who could do that for 24 hours? I mean, given your last 10 minutes or about as long as I did it for.

I mean, again, Like people who surround themselves with obstacle courses and train for it, sure. But like, if you're a regular person, yeah, 24 hours seems a little bit like not quite likely.

Bam Adebayo says to the Sun Sentinel, we'll figure it out. We don't really worry about the outside noise too much. We've done a lot more with less. That last sentence, we've done a lot more with less than having Giannis Antetokounmpo. He's got it right, right?

Yes. Giannis is the most talented player they've had since LeBron James. Like, that's not— give me, give me someone else who's more talented than Giannis.

No, he's one of the most talented players, top 5, that they've ever had wear the uniform. And that's why, that's why you trade anything you have in order— anything and everything you have in order to get that into that game. Because there are how many of those players in the league? Give me a number. How many players in the league are there? Pat Riley said he's a top 5 player in the league, but give me a number of players that you would say are the player that Giannis your skill is right now?

Uh, I would probably say 5 to 7.

Are you going to hold up for the next 10 minutes? Do you think you're going to be able to do this without a problem for the next 10 minutes, or are you losing steam?

No, no. And because it's like my hand is starting to get tingly and I'm worried about that.

Okay, like, we'll let you go on that note. Uh, we'll call it.

Okay, happy BAM day.

Yeah, Dan did it longer.

Way longer.

No, he didn't. I still go— I'm still going. I still haven't— I still haven't quit.

I did it a little longer than that though. Whenever it is you stop, I did it a little bit, just a little bit longer.

Not very—

couple seconds.

Just a couple seconds longer.

Well, here's the deal.

Here's the deal. I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna leave. You got— you guys are gonna do your show, whatever. I'm not putting my arm down.

Okay, how about that?

It's just gonna be up this whole time.

I want to play for you a video real quick of something that happened before you leave. Uh, are you interested? A couple of videos actually, if I can. I want to get the video ready of what that person should have done, I believe, in an elevator with a stray dog. Amin would have been mortified as someone who doesn't want stray dogs around him. But would you like to see the world record for the largest hula hoop ever done successfully? Would you like to see the world record? Yeah, Pablo He said it this weekend. Let's look at this. Here is some B-roll here.

And it does look like Pablo. What can't he do? How heavy? How heavy is it?

He's going to do it successfully, though. For those of you who do not have video, how large would you say that hula hoop is?

I mean, I don't know. Like, it's— I want to say Like bigger than the circle at midcourt of an NBA—

what you'd imagine like a large above-ground pool.

Yeah, batting circle.

Yeah, yeah, batting circle, dude. Batting circle.

No, not the on-deck circle. No, where home plate is, the batting zone. Oh, okay. What is the matter with you?

But I was thinking the dirt around home plate.

Okay.

Uh, the other video I want to show you, Ameen, is just— I did not know that my dog could get away. I want to show you this video of what happened here when my dog gets on the elevator. The elevator cannot move, should not move until someone else calls it. Obviously the dog can't leave and press the buttons, but what happens here is a man gets on at a lower floor. What would you do, Ameen, if the doors opened on the third floor and this is what greeted you on the third floor when the doors open? A human being, what would you do in that situation?

Is every unit in your building where the elevator just opens up into the unit?

Uh, no.

Or— okay. So I would just kind of like sidestep the dog, uh, and then as soon as the door opened, I'd just try to leave. Yeah, I'd— yep, I'd just do what that guy just did.

Okay. All right, so you wouldn't alert anybody? In that guy's defense, he could have, when he got out there, be like, hey, dog, someone's dog. No, he didn't do that, uh, because I have the rest of the video. Uh, do you guys have any alerts? Uh, like, would you alert anybody, Amin? Would you tell anybody? That there's just a dog wandering around here?

I mean, if I saw someone at the desk, I'd be like, hey man, there's a dog here. But that's about it. That's, that's the extent of my responsibility.

So you'd let the dog wander into the street? You'd open the door and let the dog go out with you into traffic? And that would be the extent of your—

I wouldn't open the door. I'm not a doorman. I'm gonna open the door for the dog. But if I leave and the dog follows me outside, man, that ain't my problem.

But you ain't stopping the dog from going outside. You're going to allow the dog to go outside?

Not my dog. Not my dog, Dan. I like— I just talk to it and touch it and then it bites me. No, I'm not doing that.

All right, thank you, Amin. Thank you for nothing.

All right, Dan, that's called NMP. That's what we call around here, NMP. Not my problem. Somebody else's problem, not mine though.

Yeah, it became my problem. It obviously became my problem.

His arm's still up.

You got to make it more winded. I was super winded. I was super winded. That's right. Uh, I have a handful of football stories I want to put in front of you guys. It's a literal handful. But before I do that, I want to put a baseball story that I don't think many people are talking about, or anybody is talking about. Harrison Bader of the San Francisco Giants, uh, has the rare instance of, uh, the team is not paying him. And these contracts tend to be guaranteed in baseball, but the Giants are saying, we are simply not paying you because you got into a scooter accident. I think this detail is important. A couple of details here that are important. You got into a scooter accident at 2 AM. So when I say that, all of you— a scooter accident is one thing. When I make it 2 AM, I think all of you have a different, uh, substance flowing through his system just because it's 2 AM. But the other detail, another important detail, is that this is Harrison Bader's second such scooter accident. He had another one in Gainesville, and the San Francisco The Giants are saying, not paying you.

Now, these contracts have in it certain things that you're not allowed to do. I remember one time Moisés Alou came back and was hurt from the Dominican Republic, and he said he was hurt falling off of a treadmill training. I don't think that's how he got hurt. It was in his contract that there are other ways he couldn't get hurt. One of them was not training on a treadmill, so he said he got hurt on a treadmill. Bader Bader cannot be on a scooter and get into this accident contractually without the Giants saying, we're going to take your money. But here's the part to me that is the reason they're taking his money. He's hitting .170 and his OPS is .550, and they gave him 2 years and $20 million. Tony Romo situation? And he has stunk. No, not quite. It's kind of, it's kind of—

Gasi gasi.

Romo hits better than .170.

Well, Romo also makes $18 million for 1 year. It's not 2 years, $20 million. They weren't expecting that much from Harrison Bader. What they were expecting is no scooter accidents at 2 AM. It is really rare for them to take guaranteed money, and Harrison Bader just lost his money because he's been a bad baseball player for the Giants. And also, you can't do that at 2 AM contractually. There's all sorts of stuff in these contracts where these guys can't, like, go parasailing or can't ride things like scooters, mopeds, or motorcycles because they, they run the risk of —of affecting their guaranteed money. I feel like my guy just has a passion for scooting. I feel bad for him. Oh, he's just got a passion. Uh, uh, can you look up for me, Jeremy, the details on his other scooter accident in Gainesville? Didn't he run into a fire truck or something?

So he ran into a fire truck in this one. He ran into a fire engine, which then rolled over the foot that was already injured. He had plantar fasciitis in his left foot. That was why he'd missed time. So yeah, they're really concerned long-term about this. Uh, the other one was indeed an alcohol-related scooter incident while he was a sophomore at UF. He was suspended for 19 games. I will find specifically what he ran into there.

The other one was the alcohol-related one. Yeah, the other, the other one. What do you guys think if I just say to you, no other details, someone ran into a fire truck on a scooter at 2 AM? I give you no other details other than that. You're assuming he's drunk, right? You're just assuming it. Context clues. Which is it? Is it the 2 AM or is it the fire truck? The scooter. Really?

Yeah, we had used to have them all over the place. Mike, you, you freaking around the same place as I do. No more scooters anymore. No birds, no lions, no nothing. Because everybody used to get, you know, charged up and then all of a sudden, hey, I'm gonna get on the scooter, dude. That's a sick idea. Let's go.

He hit a curb and then struck a parked pickup truck on his motorized scooter at 2 AM, which led to a hospitalization and that 19-game suspension. Attention. That's in college over 10 years ago.

Now he did it again. Fool can't get fooled again.

Do you guys believe that Harrison Bader will ever ride a scooter again? Yes. Really? Yeah, clearly. Yeah. No, you got to get a driver and hop on back and hold them from around the waist. Dual scooter? You say clearly, Jeremy. I don't think he learned it the first time. I think he has now learned it. He didn't learn it as a sophomore in college, He has now learned it. I don't— I believe that— I believe that he now has an allergy to scooters. This is, this is cursed scooter luck. You go ahead and give me all the people in the history of scooters and people that you know to have gotten into two of these accidents, costing— one of them costing him millions of dollars. You don't get into two scooter accidents. That's not— that once you've gotten into the second scooter accident and it's cost you perhaps the rest of your major league career because you were already hurt and already a failure with the Giants, and now the Giants are making a fairly extraordinary step. These are two San Francisco teams that have now done this. The 49ers did it to Aiyuk, and now the Giants are saying, hey, give us our money back.

It's guaranteed money.

Give it back. That substation, something's going on there, dog.

How does a head coach get hurt too?

I saw that not a whole lot of people were doing with Kyle Shanahan what it is that we were doing on not believing his story. Yes.

What we were doing.

You believe I'm the only one who was not believing his story?

You just said not many people were doing what we were doing, and that's an interesting way to frame it. Wait, what'd you do? This ain't a RICO situation, Jack.

I just didn't believe that Kyle Shanahan, in explaining himself, did himself any favors in getting us closer to the truth. I think we were further from the truth after his explanation than we were when we started.