Transcript of Ernie "Schnoz" Lombardi Takes The Show By Storm | Hour 3

You are listening to the Dan Levitan Show in partnership with the DraftKings Sports App, now live in all 50 states. I don't know if we have it right that Joe Mack is one of the greatest names ever for a catcher. I believe that between all of us, we can come up with many names for a catcher better than Joe Mack. Start putting your lists together. We will see who it is that we go to here. You guys tell me who's got a better list of 5 catcher names than Joe Mack. We will see if we can temper some of Greg Cody's enthusiasm about this. He sounds a little bit breathless on the inside and wanting to get to this.

See, I'm Jerry Lee Lewis breathless. I actually have a top 5 with 6 O.L.I. Does that set a record for OLI? Is that too much?

Just the top 10 with one OLI.

It could be a top 10.

What's your favorite Jerry Lee Lewis fact?

My favorite fact? Oh boy.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, you don't mean that he married his 12-year-old cousin? I mean, I'm not gonna go there.

That's not my favorite. But keep going.

That's your favorite, huh?

That's your favorite.

No, that's probably the most—

You were saying like, you don't mean that's your favorite? That's not my favorite.

That's the most notorious thing about him.

His nickname was The Killer. Yeah, right, because he might have been.

Yeah, might have been.

My favorite was when he drove drunk, uh, and he crashed into the gates of Graceland, and the police asked him what he was doing there, and he's like, I'm here to kill Elvis. And I'm pretty sure he meant it.

Different time.

It was a different time.

Took me a second to realize you guys weren't talking about Jerry Lewis.

Yeah, Flavin' Flavin' fam.

George Jones was once arrested for driving drunk on a, on a mower, on a lawnmower.

Yeah, didn't Bill Murray get a citation on something? A golf cart.

Can you give me the history of George Jones, and can you get me please the Back in My Day music so that we can be in the wheelhouse of Greg Cody as he tells us all it is that he wishes to tell us about George Jones?

George Jones was a country music legend, died fairly recently, I would say within the past 6, 7 years. Um, he sang one of the greatest country songs of all time called "He Stopped Loving Her Today." Uh, he was considered a little bit of an outlaw artist, although not like some of the others, you know, not like Johnny Cash and Waylon Jennings and, and guys like that. But he was, uh, legendary. He was a, a, a great songwriter. He, uh, had a, a velvety voice. Classic country voice. Um, one of my all-time favorites. Never got to see him live.

Um, what's the, what's the opposite of a velvety voice?

That—

what is this?

I would say the opposite of a velvety voice would be, uh, about to throw up, would be, uh, gravelly would be the opposite of velvety.

You just stumbled through all of that. George Jones died 13 years ago.

13, ya boy! Time flies, doesn't it? He stopped loving her today and let a wreath upon his door. All right. Anybody want my list of baseball catcher names?

Yes. These are the best that there have ever been, or these are better than Joe Mack, or is Joe Mack?

Well, I can do— I can make them a top 10 with one.

Yeah, let's do that for the name of efficiency. Who in the shipping container is going to handle the competing top 5 list? Is it going to be Jeremy? Is it going— who's it going to be?

Well, I got one.

Okay. It'll be Roy then.

Okay.

Your first and only O.L.I.

Joe Mack.

Number 10.

Johnny Bench.

That's a good one. Number 9.

Pudge Rodriguez.

8.

Clay Dalrymple.

Put it on the poll at Lebatard Show. Is Clay Dalrymple one of the great catcher names of all time?

You gotta love Clay. I can't believe you said that.

A catcher named Clay.

Come on.

In the clay. He's in the dirt right there.

I got you. Squatting on the clay, baby. All right. Where were we? Is that 7 or?

Yes, you're on 7, I think.

10, 9, 8, 7. 10, 9, 8, 7 was Clay Dalrymple.

I think that was 8.

Oh yeah, you're right. 10, 9, 8.

It's confusing because they were all OLIs before. Joe Mack was OLI.

Okay, 7 is Clay Dalrymple.

Nope, that was 8.

That was 8. That was number 8.

Mack was OLI.

Okay, 8.

You think 10 minus 3 is 7, so I can't worry about it.

The captain.

8 is Dalrymple. 7, Ernie the Schnoz Lombardi.

Wait a minute.

What?

Just wait a minute.

It was a nickname back then.

Schnoz.

What's wrong with that? Supposedly his nose was so big it hit the face mask. Ernie Lombardi played in the '30s and '40s. Was that 7 or 6? I don't have numbers.

You're, you're alleging, just to be clear, hold on a second.

Hang on.

Please look up for me, Jeremy.

It's a big nose, Dan.

I'd like a picture. I'd like a photograph of Ernie the Schnozz Lombardi. I'd also like as many details as you can give me about the career of Ernie the Schnozz Lombardi. I believe he just chose that to use the nickname the Schnozz. That is not a great catcher.

He's a great catcher.

A catcher.

Yeah.

A great catcher name.

Yeah. Ernie the Schnozz Lombardi.

They probably just in the day would say the Schnozz.

You think he's Italian?

Number 7. Oi! Okay, should I continue? Number 6, Al Backstop.

Yeah, that's, that, that's not real.

Like, I mean, I love it.

I mean, we got the schnoz here.

I mean, you're going to believe that Al Backstop is the real name for a catcher?

Why would Greg Cody ever lie to me, right?

There's the schnoz.

My God, that's quite the schnoz.

Quite the nickname.

Look at him. He looks like he just heard us say, "That's your name?" And he's like, "Yeah." Could have called him "The Gut" as well.

Grandpa?

And a great catcher though. Okay, don't overlook that. So number 7, Ernie "The Schnozz" Lombardi. Number 6, Al Backstop. Number 5, Mitt Romney. Wait, wait, what?

Mitt, you don't remember?

Right, Mitt Romney. Why do you think he got the nickname? Number 4, Smokey Burgess.

Al Backstop.

Number 3, Tools of Ignorance.

Oh my God. Remember that one season he had?

Yeah, I do.

What an Al Backstop.

What an asshole I am for looking up Al Backstop.

Just to be clear, is, are you claiming that of is his middle name? Are you saying that it says across the back of his jersey his first name is Tools?

Right. That's a nickname, Tools. And his last name is of ignorance. And that's how that phrase, the nickname for catchers used to be referred to as their equipment was the tools of ignorance because of that guy.

Romanian.

That's number 3. Number 2, Scrap Iron Courtney.

Oh man, let me tell you something. You could not steal a base around Scrap Iron Courtney.

Right on. Right on. See, that came organically. Thank you, Phil Hendrie. Right on. And number 1, Yogi Berra.

Okay, I've got a lot of questions.

Yeah, uh, Yogi Bear is a real one, Dan. It's not just a cartoon character, it's a real guy.

Can you give me number 3 and number 2 again when you're done drinking victoriously from your thermos?

Number vigorously as well. Number 3 was Tools of Ignorance, and number 2 is Scrap Iron Courtney.

Uh, Chris, I— can you look up for me Scrap Iron Court?

I already looked up Al Backstock.

No, that one's fake. I told you that that one was fake. Tools of Ignorance is also fake. I just need ruling on Scrap Iron because I thought that was Phil Garner's nickname. I did not know that there was any other baseball player nicknamed Scrap Iron, but I also did not know that there was ever a baseball player nicknamed the Schnoz either.

Clinton Dawson Courtney, nicknamed Scrap Iron Courtney.

So you sat here—

you're welcome—

you sat here all kind of skeptical, like, here's Greg Cody messing around about— nope, he was giving you gems. He was trying to—

you know what, The others, they all learn from me.

Thank you.

Thank you for that setup.

I'd like some more before we get to Roy's list here. I need some more information on the Schnoz, please.

Ernesto Natale Lombardi. Okay, so he had nicknames including Schnoz, Lombago, Bochy, and the Cyrano of the Iron Mask. He's a Hall of Famer.

Where, from Sicily?

He's a Hall of Famer. Okay, but then there's also a huge moment that happened to him in the World Series called Lombardi's Big Snooze. So as it goes, in the '39 World Series, it's the 10th inning, the score is tied, there's a runner on first and third. Joe DiMaggio singles, one run scores, and then the Reds outfielder Ival Goodman fumbles the ball. Yankees right fielder Charlie Keller, known for his sturdy physique, beats the throw to the catcher Lombardi and inadvertently hit the schnoz in his groin. So unfortunately for the Reds and Lombardi, he's scrambling for the ball, he didn't wear a protective cup, he's pained, he's dazed, DiMaggio rounds the bases and heads for home, and it turns out that Ernie "The Schnoz" Lombardi was Bill Buckner before Bill Buckner, and was blamed for the Yankees ultimately winning that World Series.

The Schnoz is guilty of the snooze?

Yeah.

The Schnoz is guilty— what is— the Serrano of what?

The—

what was it? What was the—

the— the—

the—

The Serrano of the Iron Mask.

That is a terrible nickname.

That's a great nickname. What are you talking about?

Sounds like a superhero.

Put it on the poll. That or the schnoz.

Cyrano de Bergerac, who had a huge nose in The Iron Mask. Wow, two literary references there. I'm well read.

A little too high-end for Dan Levitan, apparently. He wants nicknames like the schnoz.

I mean, we had Edgar Allan Poe cited earlier in the show today. This has been a very literary show featuring the schnoz, snoozing. The Cyrano of the Iron Mask is absolutely too long of a nickname. That's not— it's not a good nickname. Put it, put it, put it on the poll at Levitar Show.

His life takes a dark turn.

Is the Serrano of the Iron Mask, uh, darker than snoozing as the show?

Don't ask details.

Just—

yeah, it's not one you're going to want to know about, but blood transfusions are involved.

Cyrano, right?

Oh, I didn't know about Cyrano.

My bad.

Yeah, no, no, it was his— he made him a major league character.

He made him—

that's exactly what happened.

Chase Serrano. Exactly what happened to me.

Yeah, no.

Big nose.

An insurance salesman, right? Serrano, doesn't he do insurance?

You in good hands.

Wachobu.

Also the president.

The Jimmy Durant of baseball.

Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha. I didn't think the show could get older. I really didn't think that it could get older than what we were just doing. But a ha-cha-cha-cha from Jimmy Durant takes us back into what is it? What year is Jimmy Durante? Are we talking about more than a century ago on Jimmy Durante, or are we talking about something in the, in the '40s, in the range of the '40s? Roy, give me your top 5 list, please. Do you have any O.L.I. on catcher names that you enjoy better and bigger than all of Cody's?

No, we're starting with number 5 with Drake Baldwin.

Right on.

Who?

Drake Baldwin is the Braves catcher. Yep.

Number 4.

Number 4, Charles Johnson.

Right on. Wow. I'm sensing a theme here.

Are you?

I mean, are you going to be able to get to 5? Are you going to?

Yes, I am.

I don't think you're going to be able to.

Not modern baseball.

Charles Johnson.

Cha-cha-cha.

There was a gap from those 2 catchers to each other.

Cha-cha-cha, Charles Johnson. Number 3.

You ever get the feeling that you want her to go over still?

Got a feeling that you want her to say, hey, cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.

Josh Gibson.

Right on.

Oh yeah, he, uh, I was considered him, considering him from my list. Didn't quite make it.

Your list didn't have any of the, uh, flavor that, uh, Roy's list has.

What are you talking about?

If the Schnauz was Sicilian, he was getting some of that.

Number 2, Roy Campanella.

Right on.

That's not a real name.

That is real. He was the Dodgers catcher.

That's a great catcher.

Jackie Robinson. That is a good name.

Schnauz was born in Oakland.

That counts.

My man.

Number 1. Moses Fleetwood Walker.

Right on.

Wow. Fleetwood Joe Mack.

No. What?

No.

No. Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. There you go.

Yeah.

Yes, Roy.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Jeremy, give me some information on Jimmy Durante and just how old it is that we have skewed over the course of time.

By the mid-1920s, Durante had become a vaudeville star and radio personality, playing with Luke Clayton and Eddie Jackson.

Look at that schnozz! Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha!

You gotta do it with the cigar.

I can't believe— I'm just a voice. I can't believe what just happened here.

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Einfach beim nächsten Checkout auswählen. This is the Dan Levatar Show. Every once in a while, I'm reminded that Ameen Alhassan is becoming, uh, in front of our eyes, a bit of an ancient person. Uh, last week, uh, he was telling me about watching WarGames, the 1984 movie WarGames, with his kids.

Never really got into that, by the way, which is very interesting. Most people would say, oh, there's no way your kids wanted to watch WarGames. Well, surprise, they don't get to watch what they want. They get to watch what I tell them to watch. But here's the thing, they watched it and they enjoyed it because WarGames, as it turns out, is incredibly relevant now. So for those who don't know, back in 1983-84, Matthew Broderick Dabney Coleman, Ally Sheedy. They make this movie called WarGames, which is about the US government having— at the time, you know, you had to fire nukes off. They have people, they gotta turn keys and put in codes and then hit a button. And so what was happening was like a third of these people tasked on launching nukes would fail the test that they didn't know were tests, because guess what? It's pretty stressful to think, if I hit this button 20 million people are going to die somewhere. So the idea was, what if we took the decision-making out of human hands and had this computer that would just do the calculations and launch the code, launch the nukes?

And so it was called the Whopper. But that's basically what we're doing now. My kids are like, this is like AI. I'm like, as a matter of fact, it is. It's the idea that human decision-making is flawed and the computer would never make a mistake, except of course Humans programmed the Whopper, programmed the AI, which means it always has inherent risks.

Duranty was an active member of the Democratic Party, appeared in a short film, Give a Man a Job, in 1933 to support the New Deal.

So this idea that like we're seeing this now more and more, right, where we're taking—

You're aware Lincoln was a Republican.

We're taking decision-making out of the hands of people. Like, for instance, in hiring practices, a lot of companies just use AI to mow through resumes without actually getting to know these candidates. Any, any more than a few keywords. But there are inherent biases in the programming that makes this a faulty process. And so I tell you right now, Dan Le Batard, yes, it looks grainy. Yes, Matthew Broderick looks ridiculous in his outfit and the way he walks and everything. Yes, Ali Sheedy is still hot, but it is very relevant to today.

Near the end of his life in 1962, he performed at Madison Square Garden alongside Marilyn Monroe's Happy Birthday to the President.

Wow! Wow, how about that?

When you say that it is very stressful, uh, I have found that in general, I mean, while he's, uh, doing this fossilizing aging, uh, is being made to age even faster because working next to Pablo and doing stories with Pablo is stressful. Can you walk us through what's going on with you and the amount of stress that Pablo is causing in your life because Pablo Torre Finds Out has exploded as a popular podcast. But as I've mentioned to you guys a number of different ways, he's doing it the hardest way. He's doing the hardest thing the hardest way, which is he's accumulating audience by doing something literally no one else is doing. Like it's just work that he's decided to do and people are gathering around the trough because there is an appreciation for what he's making and the degree of difficulty on how he's making it, What's happened with recent stresses in you and Pablo?

So I just flew in this morning from New York. I was in New York yesterday. I did Pablo's show for an episode that's going to come out. I cannot— I'm embargoed. I cannot tell you what it's about. All I can tell you is holy freaking shit. Like, that's like that.

The—

that's my takeaway from doing this episode. And so their stress comes from two different places. There's an internal stress and an external stress. The internal stress is I don't know what I can and can't say about anything ever, because it's like, is this going to be in the episode? Is this one of the parts that's gonna get cut out? We already did one last week that came out, the RIFC episode, and that one got a lot of murmuring around the nation and around the sport. But it's like, okay, how much of this can I talk about? Because there were things that were cut out of that episode that I thought were gonna be central parts of the episode. So I'm stressed From that level, I don't— right now I'm like, oh wait, what can I say, what can I not say? But then the other stress, Dan, is I gotta see these people. Pablo gets to sit in his ivory tower making calls and reading paper and making people flip open pages. I have to be out in the world going to NBA events, seeing these people, and then just be like, hey guys, what's up?

And so that, that can be a source of stress as well, although it is very nice. Yesterday me and Pablo went for a nice walk after the episode and we got stopped in the street by a guy, said, hey Love the work you guys do.

Uh, will you walk us through what's happening as you—

Give me your watch because you're in New York.

Yeah, Mom, Donnie's New York.

When you're running into people, what, uh, what is the stress of doing good work, well done, meticulously checked, factually accurate?

Uh, well, it's when it's the people that you're investigating. They, they tend to not really, uh, take great joy in the level of thoroughness of an investigation that is basically spurred on by us. Like, whatever Wachtell is doing, they are following in our footsteps.

That part has been interesting to me in that, uh, the NBA is probably paying a lot of money for a law firm that's sitting around watching Pablo's episodes because he's got this story buttoned down from so many different angles that no one else can get close to the information that he has, even if they have more access than he's got.

Well, the funny part is, as we learned in a previous episode, it's Balmer that's paying the money.

There are a number of things here that I think people would find fascinating, but the idea that you're saying now, without overpromising, because you want— you don't want to take any of the steam out of what Pablo's doing— where does this rank in all of the holy shits that you have had? Holy shits around the reporting of this story.

In my estimation, this is the biggest one since the first episode.

Whoa!

Uh, do you guys realize though how on top of a story you have to be for you to be able to have the information so securely that you're— in today's times where everything moves so fast— that you can sit there and tape something a couple of days ago and just hold it because you know no one else is going to get close to the information that you have because you've got that corner so secured?

I've said sometimes you comment on why isn't the rest of the media writing about this and following this story. And I think it's because the story is so unique to Pablo and his show. You can't follow it unless all you're doing is aggregating Pablo. You can't follow this because you don't have the sources to come up with anything significantly new.

I want to ask Amin, though, what did you make of the ESPN.com story? That they tried to play as their top story one day that was simply sources saying the Kawhi investigation might go on until 2027. And in that story, this part, I was like, what? What? Like, how flimsy is this? In that story, there is the idea expressed that Ballmer has to agree to the terms on what his punishment is when I'm sitting here and saying whenever someone in sports does something wrong, they're not allowed to be a part of the punishment process as part of, well, maybe we can settle or negotiate something here.

So, Dan, this is, uh, it's not a court of law, but I'm going to compare it to a court of law. The DA wants a victory. They want convictions. They don't want to go to trial. They just want this thing to go away. So if they can get you to plead down They'd rather do that than go to trial. So in essence, what the NBA would love to do is have the Clippers and have Steve Ballmer agree, okay, maybe we've colored outside the lines. We're not gonna go into this full crazy arbitration thing where more documents are gonna come out and more kind of dirty laundry is gonna be aired. Just take the L and accept this milder punishment rather than have us go through this process. The problem is Steve Ballmer like many rich, powerful people, is saying, but I did nothing wrong, so why would I ever plead guilty to something I never did? We're gonna go to trial. And so that's kind of where they are as far as trying— it's not about getting Steve Ballmer to agree to his own punishment or dictate his own punishment. It's just about, hey, can we get this thing over and wrapped with at a level that we feel like is a real punishment but also isn't overly draconian?

Ernie the Schnoz won the batting title in 1942, which another catcher didn't do until Joe Maurer in 2006.

I mean, how rare do you think it is what we're talking about here, where someone has done something allegedly wrong, something that has to be punished, that person is so powerful in sports that we have to check with him to see if he's okay with what our punishment is, because what he can do instead of appealing something, uh, which is always in play, but not before the punishment makes an appearance that before the punishment makes an appearance, someone is so powerful that they can negotiate on the front end a settlement because it's not a court of law, but also because of the amount of power and money that they have that can create a leverage even if they're 100% wrong.

I think, Dan, the best comp I can come up with from a legal setting would be the sexual harassment lawsuit that the Knicks dealt with 20 years ago. And everyone, all the lawyers told Jim Dolan, just settle, just settle, pay Anuka Brown-Sanders off, make it go away, let's not get into this stuff. But Jim Dolan was adamant, like, there's nothing wrong, nothing happened here, we're innocent, this is frivolous, we're going to trial. They go to trial and they lose the trial. And so not only do they have to pay Anuka Brown-Sanders, but also all of this dirty laundry, all these weird stuff happening behind the scenes at Madison Square Garden comes out. Jim Dolan was rich and powerful, and it wasn't about like, hey, we have to check with him. It's about how can we make this thing go away. It doesn't matter whether you're exonerated, like I did nothing, or whether you're— you have something stuck to you. The idea is how can we make this go away? What Adam Silver wants more than anything is for this to go away. It's not— he does not want to make an example out of Steve Ballmer.

He wants this thing to go away, but he can't let him off the hook completely because then everyone— you're eating away at the integrity of the game. Like, basically these guys did all this crazy stuff and there's no punishment. So you can't have that. But also you can't have a pound of flesh because all that does is it prolongs this process, it makes the league look worse, and then also it actively antagonizes Steve Ballmer in a way that he— like, again, By all accounts, pretty nice guy, well-liked by the other owners, well-liked by the players, well-liked by the fans. Do we really want to weaponize him and turn him against us as a guy like who's got a— was it a craw in his boot? Is that what it's called?

I have no idea what you're trying to do there. A craw in his boot? That makes no sense. And it should be a pound of bacon, not a pound of flesh, based on today's conversation.

Dan Levitar! Baker Mayfield tearing up Tampa Bay, 38 for 45. Great Cody! Shred 'em!

This is the Dan Levatar Show. The idea though that an owner— I know this is not groundbreaking— but that an owner has this kind of power and money, and no athlete in the history of sports has the kind of power to do this to a punishment if he is indeed guilty of something. There has never been an athlete that has this kind of power and money, even though there have been plenty of athletes who have power and money, where you can play around with the idea of, you're not going to make me as guilty as you want to make me here because I'm just simply going to make a mess for you.

I don't think this guy is really moneyed or powerful, but I would say the John Morant, uh, discipline was kind of like this, where it was like, well, we'll just have him talk to people. We're like I was one of the loudest voices saying, look, you throw him the book, you give him everything, suspend him 45 games, whatever. And then what's going to happen is the PA will come back and say, this is outrageous, da da da, and then they'll go to arbitration and then they'll cut it back down to like 7 games or whatever.

This is what happens with red-eye flights. You're throwing him the book, which is not that expression, and I still don't know what you were trying to do with a craw and a boot. Like, can you explain to me what— explain to anybody in the audience, as someone who's a professional communicator, what you were going for with the craw in the boot?

Like something that's bothering him.

Stuck in the craw? Stuck in my craw? Is that what you were going for?

I guess.

Why was there a boot there?

There's something with a boot. Isn't there like an expression?

There's a snake in my boot.

Maybe it's a crawfish in the boot.

Maybe it's something— maybe it sounds like something from the bayou. Sounds like something saying—

yeah, crawfish, eat the heads.

But what's the boot? There's something with a boot. So there's something in my boot.

Jeremy said it. It's Toy Story. It's Woody.

Snake in my boot?

I don't know. It came out of your mouth.

One of his sayings when he pulled his string.

But it came out of your mouth and out of your head. I don't know what you were going for there. I don't understand why there was a boot and a craw and why it made no sense and you're a professional communicator.

I think Chris has it. Say that again.

The saying is something gets stuck in your craw and then there's a snake in your boot.

Those are two different things.

He combined the two.

What happens if they both happen at the same time, Dan? You're really antagonized at that point. Mike is gonna make me throw up, by the way.

I've smelt a couple of these. He's like 2 feet from me when he does this.

The thing that is funniest about this, okay, uh, is that for the people who know, okay, if you listen to The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody—

with, with— yeah, thank you—

with Greg Cody, the fact that Greg Cody when he belches, either belches and finishes inexplicably with the word Brad, or sometimes belches, and I don't know when he does it, I don't know why he chooses—

Ass wipe.

When he ends a belch with the word ass wipe.

We also discovered, we caught one in the wild last recording, he did a yike! Sometimes it can just be yike! Those are the ones where he doesn't feel it coming. The ass wipes, the Brads, he can feel them coming and he prepares them. When they just come out of nowhere.

Yike!

Yuck!

How long? Which is older? The Brad at the end of a belch or the asswipe at the end of a belch?

They're all organic. All 3 of them. There's a 4th.

What?

You're not going to answer my question? What's the 4th? You're just going to—

No, I can't—

Man, don't cut me the lead.

I don't know the 4th.

They all come naturally. Everybody says it sounds like I'm saying the word Brad, like I'm saying a name Brad. Obviously I'm not, but the sound which is organic and unintentional, often sounds like the name Brad to some ears.

Greg, what's the fourth?

I can't reveal that because it might be in the top 10. Whoa! I'm not saying it is. Oh. But it might be.

The chat is saying that your hair today is giving There's Something About Mary vibes.

I don't know what that means.

That it looks like you might have some product in the front of your hair.

Product?

Is that what we're calling it?

Trying to be.

Someone did produce it.

You don't know what we're talking about?

That's a great example of him being terrible with movies, not knowing that.

Something About Mary. There's one scene— well, I guess there are a couple of scenes in Something About Mary that are—

I know, I know the famous line, "I'll have what she's having," or something.

That's Harry Met Sally.

Oh no, sorry. It's right before the hair scene.

Okay, there are two scenes in Something About Mary that I think are the most memorable scenes, both of them in and around that particular bathroom. Here's looking at you, kid. That's Jimmy Durant. That's right. I can't believe the amount of time we've spent on Jimmy Durant. Jeremy, do you have any more?

Oh God, do I, Dan? Ernie the Schnoz went to a high school that was later attended by 5 other Sports Hall of Famers: Curt Flood, Vada Pinson, Frank Robinson, Bill Russell, and Paul Silas. Also, MC Hammer went there. What a high school!

Wait a minute. Is that Oakland?

Yeah, that's Oakland. Ernie the Schnoz. So the Schnoz really should have been on Roy's list.

He went to a black high school.

He went to a black high school, Dan.

I told you he was Sicilian. I mean, Mike told you he was Sicilian. Baker Mayfield is not quite making a mess in Tampa, but Baker Mayfield, going back to our Mario Cristobal conversation and how surprised I am when organizations just simply do the right thing because someone has earned for them to do the right thing. Little harder to do when you have a salary-capped sport. But Baker Mayfield, I think, has exceeded every expectation in Tampa. Do you think that I have that wrong? Yes or no, Greg? Yes.

Yes. Because the bar was low. When he got there.

Man, the bar was Tom Brady. But I understand expectations were he came in as a prove-it guy, battle it out. We have Kyle Trask here. We'll see who becomes a quarterback. But he took— he was the quarterback immediately following Tom Brady.

But I meant the career bar for Mayfield.

Baker Mayfield was a game from being out of the league. He was playing on the practice squad at Carolina. They had him on the defensive line just screwing around.

Down.

Then he goes and spends a night game with McVay and reinvents himself. I remember having the arguments with Mike Ryan where I'm saying it's not fair what's happening with Baker Mayfield at the end of his career in Cleveland, where they're making him— or he's choosing to play injured because the expectations are so high and he's going to harm his career. He was this close from no longer being able to be a starter, and now he wants Tampa to give him his money. And in this situation, every quarterback does get paid. Why is Tampa not giving him his money?

So you mentioned that Baker Mayfield is kind of— you added a question inflection to it. Is he making a mess? I don't think he is. Like, he's just talking about a contract. He is entering lame duck status. It's weird. It's weird. And I heard Zazz's take on the matter, and I'm not here to disagree or agree as to whether or not Baker Mayfield is elite. I don't even think he's elite. I think he's really good. He's 12th in the league in QBR right now. He's making the 16th highest salary at that position. And it's not about whether or not you're elite, whether or not you're worth the money. Any time in NFL history when you have a quarterback who's coming off his 3 best career years entering the prime of his career, they get paid. They get paid. It doesn't matter if they're a top 5. We've had these discussions dating back to Joe Flacco, Kirk Cousins, several times over.

Tua got paid.

When you're in that tier, you get the money and more than the money, you get the years. They're offering him 2 years, which is insulting if you're Baker Mayfield. And I would take tremendous exception to that if I were Baker Mayfield, because what more does he have to prove? Could he— could he have been a little bit better last year? Yeah, there were a ton of injuries. A ton of injuries that he tried his best to overcome. But he's been really good for them.

It feels like Amin next to you is being Floyd Smirnich. He's being the translator for the deaf with his hands next to Mike, but I don't understand what it is that you're doing because you're not doing sign language. If I was doing that, then I would be like He's dealing with a lot of injuries! Should Baker get his money?

Yes.

If the president— so why isn't he getting his money?

I can't answer that, and the 2-year contract offer is as insulting as the lack of money. He's not a top-tier quarterback, but he's a second-tier quarterback, and that's enough to get your money. Look at— look what the Dolphins, who aren't spending, gave Malik Willis.

I mean, the Dolphins are one of the teams that would be interested in a Baker Mayfield if he hits the open market. And we talked about this with Mario Cristobal, you run the risk of insulting the player. And if there is ever a player to harbor a grudge and feel like some type of way about being disrespected to the point of maybe even sacrificing dollars, it's probably that pit bull.

Bill James referred to Lombardi as the slowest man to ever play Major League Baseball well because by the end of his career, he was 6'3", £300.