Transcript of The Big Suey: So... Super Bowl, Anyone? (feat. The Ghost of Dick Hammer)

Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the Marching Man to Nowhere, Fatface, and the Habitual Liar.

This episode of the Dan Lebitard Show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

I don't know about the rest of you, but right about when Army Navy start playing in football, I get sad because football will soon end, and that's one Saturday, one game, and usually it's going to end. And we now, on Friday, are almost done with football for the season. We talk a ton about football around here. Was that the haunting Dick Hammer sound again? I think I feel like I heard the haunting Dick Hammer sound again.

I didn't hear it. You still feel that way around Army Navy? That used be the case. I was at the National Championship game. I'm like, Man, I haven't seen Notre Dame in two months.

Yeah. It just warns me, okay? It's all about to end. It's just a bit of a warning, and then that one game is there by itself. Navy actually had a great season this year. It's not actually about the football. It's every year, I know it's all about to be over. And this is the last game that we've got. And we talk so much about football around here. But I don't think, for example, for all we talk about it around here that we actually know how to do some of the measurements. For example, on defense, do any of you know even what DVOA stands for? Just as one example, and I'm not saying that this is the best example, because I think most people don't know what it stands for, but it is a metric being used to measure defenses, and it's the metric being used to say that Seattle's defense is better than Houston's defense and Denver's defense, when I don't happen to think that it is. And one of the reasons I don't happen to think that it is, is that my measurement system is more imperfect than DVOA. And my measurement system is like, well, I remember what Baker Mayfield did to that defense when he went to Seattle.

I remember when he did the out gunslinger thing with Sam Darnold. But I'm going to take from the way that you guys all moved away from the microphones that no one knows that it's defense adjusted value over average.

I do. I'm just waiting for Chris to chime in.

Okay, so the measurement system of defenses, to me, if I ask America right now, Hey, do you think Seattle's defense was better than Houston's or Denver's? Because you saw what Houston's and Denver's did in weather to Drake May. I just think that Drake May might be about to show everybody in the country that that defense is not as good as you think it is, even though the metrics say that it is, because it is susceptible to the scramble and it is susceptible to the deep play. I saw what Baker Mayfield did to them. When the play collapses, I still think the Houston defense and Denver defenses are better because they get pressure with four, but you can't run against Seattle. So what's the answer to my question as when I ask you, do you think that America knows and believes that that Seattle defense is the best in the sport?

I think they believe it's the best in the sport. Do you? I do. Yeah, I do. And I know you can go back to the NFC Championship game and what the Rams were to do. I think that's more about the guy that won the MVP award last night. I understand Drake May was actually just one vote shy of winning the MVP, but it's not exactly like the Patriots have been scoring this postseason. They played great defenses, and I think this one's the best of them.

Yeah. So I don't. And the reason I don't is because Denver's front four past rush is historic, and I saw what Houston did to them and whether that wasn't that inconvenient. Houston's defense, to me, was the best one I saw after the first four or five games of the season. But Mina Kimes, to the point that you were making about Stafford won the MVP, he won it by one vote over Drake May, somebody voted for Justin Herbert. A voter voted for Justin Herbert, and that could have cost Drake May the MVP of the League. And the logic of that voter was simple. He's like, Justin Herbert played behind the worst offensive line in the League. You saw what happened when Stafford had two-fifths of his offensive line out. He became a turnover machine, the MVP of the League. That was the voters' logic. But Orlovsky and Mina were going back and forth. Let's not get to the sound of them going back and forth. Mina votes, and she voted for Drake May. Let's hear her explanation.

I'm a voter, and I voted for Drake May, and I'm right. First of all, let's remind folks this is a regular season award. We cast our votes after week 18. Nothing that's happened since then should be applicable to that. Over the course of the regular season, for me, I look at two things, dominance and then value. From a dominance perspective, Drake May was better than Matthew Stafford in just about every meaningful statistic. Qbr, EPA for dropback, success rate. He had the highest completion percentage in the NFL. He was first in all of those despite having a high average depth of target. On top of that, he was a more efficient quarterback. He also brought an element with his rushing that you just don't get from Matthew Stafford, obviously. Then I look at value. Drake May during the regular season. I know we were watching this Patriots defense, and they look great in the postseason. They were not great during the regular season. 23rd in DVOA. The run game, 21st. Meanwhile, Matthew Stafford, the Rams defense, top five in DvOA. Best run game in football. Finally, I like the Patriots' receiver. They ain't Pukunakuwa. When you look at who carried their team more, who did more with less from a value perspective, in addition to the statistical dominance.

To me, it is clearly, Drake May.

Orlovski wasn't having it. And again, Stafford won by a vote and then announced he'll be back next year during his acceptance speech. Let's get Mina and Orlovski going back and forth.

This is my biggest pushback to you, and this is where you lose it.

You can't, on one hand, talk about the numerical advantage or the statistical advantage that Drake may has on some of the things that you reference, and then not talk about the schedule.

I just did. I talked about the schedule. If you look at the defenses-Mina, the top ranked defense New England played against was Buffalo at 12. Statistically, I am telling you, New England's a slate of defenses they faced. If you look at EPA per play, not much easier than the Patriots. But easier. In common opponents, Drek May was the better...

Yeah, slightly easier. Common opponents? What is that?

They both played the NFC South. You can look at the six teams that they both played, put up their stats side by side, and Drek May was better against those teams.

That's over the court, this game. So they got into it. Yes. And look, just leave Orlovsky frozen there. Just show that clip right there that's in front of me right now. That's Ryan Clark trying to move away from the sparks and the tension. And that is Orlovsky doing a very clear jiu-jitsu. That is a karate chop that he is giving the good people. Your thoughts here are what, Zez?

Well, my thoughts are Mina, obviously, was better equipped for that argument, But I think she loses people, Mina, even though she may be right when she's throwing out EPA. I don't think that audience is not as educated as she is when it comes to football terms. So she could say things like EPA.

I disagree, actually. You think the audience for that show? I believe that Mina has at least in part taught that audience to be better about how it consumes-First takes audience? Oh, was that first take? I'm sorry. Okay, my bad. I thought they were doing NFL Live just because I saw Ryan Clarke, Arlovski, and I saw Mina.

No, Shay and Steven A. That was first take.

But even with that said, I think the general football audience has started... If you're a really passionate football fan that's tuned in for that conversation, you're starting to understand some of those stats the same way that baseball shifted to people understanding war or OPS over the last 5 to 10 years. It's a similar thing here. I'm not a big football guy, so I don't dive into DVOA, but using those statistics, I think, is a valuable piece of an argument to a general football audience.

It's been wonderful, actually, to see over the last 10 years, the sports fan is smarter than he or she has ever been by miles because there are so many people out there genuinely curious about doing the measurements better. So it's not just what I did there with my analysis, where I'm like, Seattle is not the best defense. I saw what Baker did to them in one game in Seattle when Tampa went up there and 138, 35 or whatever it was. They're using better numbers to do the measurements. It's why Mike has accused me of having an existential, nihilistic feeling about sports recently, because I'm saying that we're not doing this to actually have the best measurement or the best team. We're just doing it to collect the money from the television. Let's try to work in pressure with four once more. See, again, the reason that I'm going to continue to argue with my inner monolog is because it has ceased to be my inner monolog, and you are using the voice in my head to just give me thoughts of yours. I have good ideas. But that's not a thought of mine. No, mix your sofa it.

I'm not having a thought of mine of pressure with Thor. It's what you should be thinking. The inner monolog has to be my voice. If you want me to stop arguing with the inner monolog, you need to stop putting in your secret thoughts in there. Pressure with four. Think about it. The thing that I wanted to put in front of you about Sam Darnal that I think a lot of people aren't noticing, and I do think it's interesting that he's chosen this path. How rare is it for a guy to get to the Super Bowl, be someone who has been discarded by four teams, and he doesn't do any of the, I had so many doubters, all of these people hated me, these people thought I couldn't do it. He's not doing any of that. He's at every turn doing some form of, I learned a bunch in every stop. And it's just rare. Usually, there's a chip on your shoulder and you take the victory lap because how good does it have to be to Sam Darnold to be in front of all those cameras right now, vindicated and validated? He's got one more to go.

But okay, but to this point, he hasn't done it. Look, I know Zaslow, you're looking at me as if Yeah, give him one more game. He might be saving it. Yeah, he might be saving it. But most guys in this spot would take a bit of a victory lap when asked all the questions on, Man, I had four franchises tell me I wasn't good enough, and look at where I'm sitting right now.

You're right, because the guy who he replaced took one Monday night football performance to tell everybody they wrote me off and I didn't write them back. So you're right, but I don't know, maybe it's coming.

I wish he was a little bit more engaging on the subject because it's a tremendous story. I Against my best judgment, I talked football with my dad for 10 minutes, and he told me about how this Super Bowl doesn't have any story lines. And my dad is a very casual observer of sports.

How bad did he wish Mendoza's play in this game?

He wishes Mendoza. In fact, it took two seconds for him to take the conversation to Mendoza.

He's like, You guys need me back in studio?

Yeah, that's another thing, too. He's like, Did you get any feedback? I'm like, No. Nobody had anything to say? I'm like, No. It's driving him crazy. Sure? Dan didn't have anything. What were the fans saying? I'm like, I wasn't-What would he be hoping Dan would say?

How great he was on the Bongos, playing the Bongo's after every Indiana score that broke his son's heart?

So charming. I was talking to him about the Super Bowl, and I was trying to explain some of the existing stories. I was like, But if you're really into this sport, there are some compelling story lines here. I think Drake May having this stage against this defense, I actually think he's going to kill it because I think he's that guy. I think he's like Josh Allen. It doesn't matter how good your defense is. He's going to rise to the occasion. I'm a proud day one stock owner of Drake May stock.

You're not shook by the last two games he's had to play against great defenses.

Bad weather. In the big time moments, Drake May was there. The fumbles against Houston were bad, but I also saw the weather and I attributed it to that. But I think it's a great opportunity for a new face of the league to ascend in Drake May. I don't think even if Sam Darnold wins, I don't think he has that juice because he doesn't have the personality type behind it. But I explained to my dad, I'm like, this was actually a really high draft pick. He went to all these different teams. He was basically resigned to a life of a career backup, and now he's awesome. He's awesome. And he's like, these aren't historic rivals. I'm like, believe it or not, they've played in the last 10 years. They've built themselves back up. They are model franchises.

They played in a great Super Bowl.

Yeah, an old-timer. And I found myself getting excited for this game. I told Jizaz, I was going to watch this Super Bowl.

I asked him.

Yeah. He committed. I'm in. I think it's going to be a good game.

Another wow, a double wow from Ron.

The public's hammering the Seahaw. A third wow. A change of heart, man. Yeah, I'm going to appreciate this transitional period where the league tries to find new stars, and I'm going to enjoy it because the sport has been run by four faces since I've been alive, basically. And I'm excited to see where the NFL goes from here.

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Don Levatard. Mike Ryan's in there, and he's the one with a baby. He's the one who's got to worry about what the future is. Mike Ryan bet on DraftKings because Mike Ryan bet on us. This is the bet you're afraid of doubling down on? Putting up a billboard in Edmonton?

Stugatz. I care more about Matthew Kachuk than I do my daughter. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

I I wanted to ask you guys some questions about the alternate halftime show that is going up against Bad Bunny and the Puerto Rican genie who's going to make everybody move in a different language on Sunday. I also wanted to take a moment before I start asking those questions about the alternate halftime show to point out what the President of the United States did today with Obama and Michelle Obama, and just how deplorable and racist this is as a distraction tactic. I wanted and want to make sure that our audience understands that because you have been choosing us as an escape option, and because you have been complaining for a long time about having this particular thing polluted by the daily realities that are heartbreaking and awful and don't feel very American to anybody who cares about America's or what's it supposed to be, America's ideals and principles, I have largely sat out over the last couple of exhausting years, the daily ability to go after an assortment of awful things that range from pedophilia to state militia killing people in the streets in an America that I do not recognize. I have largely largely sat it out, probably still too much for most of you.

And in sitting it out, I've got to tell you that silence inside of my skin has made me want to scream. But I have done it because I've heard you, you spoke you spoke clearly about this place needs to be a sanctuary, at least a little bit, from all of the other headaches that we have that don't even have to do with our bills that is daily exhausting and daily depressing. But the cheap way that the President of the United States just went full racist today, not that we didn't know. I mean, I've been wondering, where the hell are the Proud Boys? Where'd they go? Are they in ice? Where are they? Yes.

Actually, there was a report on that.

Yeah, I know. I'm like, Where'd they go? The racism is more and more overt over the last few years. The platform seems to be obvious on, Oh, we want to make this like Russia. We want to make this just white people. We want to make that there's some ethnic cleansing that doesn't look like that. But that's what we're moving toward with immigration and everything else. What he did today on Truth Social, though, as a distraction tactic, just like he went with misogyny, he's being asked about How to feel you by a woman, and he's telling her to smile more. The tactics being used are so grotesque. He's using an ax where a scalpel will do. He's using a butchering of subtle that is not merely offensive, but is deplorable as a distraction technique from all of the other things that he's doing that are dangerous to human lives and dangerous to democracy and dangerous to freedom. I don't know if you guys are just getting a daily exhausted. I don't know how you guys feel about the silence around here that is more than there used to be, although it's not totally silent. I know many of you still have many complaints whenever I do just this, but You know that I've said before to you guys that I'm not a person of political depth.

My platforms are decency, equality, and I talk about race a lot. I do talk about race a lot, and now those things are synonyms, race and politics. But what he did today, it's not even cleverly done. It's not disguised in a way that it's just there to be offensive.

Caroline Levert, the White House press secretary, defended this. She said that this is from an internet meme video depicting President Trump as the king of the jungle and Democrats as characters from the Lion King. So please stop the fake outrage and report on something today that actually matters to the American public. That is bullshit. Yeah, I would love to report on something that actually matters. I think that was bullshit.

That was bullshit.

That was editorial by me.

You got to say end quote, and then that is bullshit.

End quote, that is bullshit. Let's try to report on what is actually affecting the American people right now. The fact that this administration has been actively participating in a cover up protecting billionaires that were very clearly in a child human trafficking ring, and we still have names redacted. The President is named in those files more than Harry Potter is named in the series of Harry Potter books.

It's like 38,000 times or 44,000 times.

Markets crashing everywhere. You're even losing the crypto, bros. Nothing is going right. You have a bunch of stuff that people didn't vote for, and they're trying to talk themselves into. You have Americans that are innocently protesting on the street, getting gunned The world doomsday clock is inching closer to midnight. We have ushered in a whole new world order. I would love to report on those other things. But instead, you got a truth social and you post something that in any other time in our country, in any other Democratic democratic, developed country would end a political career. It would end it. This is racist. Depicting the Obamas as primates is racism. It's an internet meme? Okay. It's a racist internet meme. That's your excuse? This is, I mean, beyond troubling. I think the thing that should trouble us the most is the fact that Steve Banon, who's also named in the Epstein files and had the courtesy to try to reshape Jeffrey Epstein's image with a weird sit down, is already saying we need to have ICE at these polling stations. Ice? Forget what you think their job is. Their job is to scare you because they're going to be in polling stations, and they are going to try to dissuade an American public that I think now has a surprising vast majority of people saying, I didn't ask for any of this shit.

I want to play some sound here of Luke Thomas. I really like him as an MMA reporter. There are a handful of people in MMA who are trying to apply some journalistic standards. I'm going to tie it into what it is that we're talking about here in a second, because he's talking about Pat McAfee, but I can apply some of this criticism to Joe Rogan, because I find Joe Rogan to be a little unrecognizable at the moment. The reason I find it a little unrecognizable is because he's clearly gotten in bed with so much power that he's now corrupted and contaminated. That's not what he used to be, but he's got so many relationships near power. The job to apply his job to a broad, vast audience of people has some sacrifices in it now when it comes to both ICE and the Epstein files, where what Joe Rogan is saying makes him the opposite of what he's always been, where he's not questioning power, he's become power, and he's aligned with power. As I said before, if you're reading the Epstein files, any part of it, it's not enough for these rich people to screw everyone else and have everything.

Now they have to also screw children. That's unbelievable where we've arrived as a country, that this particular scandal, the way to distract from it is to post racist memes in order to get people to talk about something else and have our government officials tell us that it's fake outrage. But listen to Luke Thomas here on Pat McAfee.

Real journalist, which I'm not saying I am, but I'm saying people who actually do it, where they have a distant relationship from the league that they cover or the team that they cover, and they do it according to proven standards and practices that are important for journalism as such. This is a novel concept to him because he doesn't understand the value of that. The value of doing that is not audience generation. He doesn't understand the first thing about the value of what journalism is, what the sacrifice goes into, and why it's not fundamentally about just being on camera. And I realized that sports journalists have blurred the lines. Oh, my God, they've blurred the lines. Dude, this fucking guy, let's talk about Pat McAfee for a second. This fucking guy had Nik Khan on his show, and I honestly thought he might fellate him. He did no job whatsoever at fact-checking. And then he wants to parade like the town rooster, like he's doing something impressive. That's not impressive. That's the fucking lamest, saddest, most pathetic thing I've ever seen in my life. In fact, on the Pat McAfee show, they had a graphic in the background about all the wonderful things that changing the Ali Act would do.

He's a fucking stooge for people that want to control sports. If I had a job like that, and that was my role in the industry, I'd shut the fuck up about people who have a completely different focus, which the practice of journalism.

This, by the way, is the Washington Post. Let's go of a third of its reporters. And the guy who killed the sports department, Will Lewis, is photographed on the NFL red carpet last night or a couple of nights ago. I guess it would have been last night, during their awards ceremony because the Washington Post can no longer hold truth to power on these things because Jeff Bezos has come in and said, What do I want newspapers Why would I want anybody watching me? Why would I want anyone reporting fairly? This is something that's also true of Dana White. What use would they possibly have for journalism? Why would they want journalism speaking truth to power? The reason that Dana White has his problems with Helwani is because Ariel Helwani is always someone who's an inconvenience to him, reporting things. He just wants propaganda arms and rich people. The way we're moving right now, rich people are They're going to get all their propaganda arms. They're going to be able to buy all the pieces. I mean, Elon Musk already did. They already have in many ways, buy all the pieces and all the pieces that can ever question them on anything so that they continue to work in the shadows.

But what the President of the United States did with the Obamas, everyone does realize that that's purposely to get you talking about something else, right?

I don't even know how intentional it is because I don't know what frame of mind this guy is because every time I wake up, there's some new batshit crazy thing going on. Honestly, a better excuse would be he's lost his mind, clearly. He didn't mean it. I would have bought that more than it's an internet meme. What? Look, I promise to you, this show, for the most part, will be a distraction. I, like Dan, feel conflicted about it. This is bad. No one is benefiting from these policies, especially no one that's listening to this because you're not in that tax bracket. Let's Keep this energy during the midterms because they are going to do everything to dissuade people from actually voting in a free and fair election because these policies are so bad for Americans that they are going to try to scare you and keep you dumb.

Super Bowl week, everybody.

. Say me, Nikola, hast du auch immer dieses Gefühl, bei der Steuererklärung mit einem Bein schon im Knast zu stehen?

Boah, nee, gar nicht. Wieso Steuer ist so die Steuer-App, mit der ich wirklich nichts falsch machen kann?

Wow.

Das heißt, damit ist alles sicher?

Ja, genau. Wieso Steuer ist die Steuer-App, die dich versteht.

Weil Steuer betrifft ja dein ganzes Leben. Arbeit, Kinder, Partner. Du kannst nichts falsch machen.

Stimmt. Nice. Fühlt sich gar nicht wie Steuern an.

Steuern erledigt?

Safe. Mit Wieso Steuer?

Jetzt kostenlos testen. Don Levatard. John Zaslow, how you love that catchphrase. Bad news for opposing teams in the Triple A.

Stugatz.

These are smiles till the bloods are clutch again, clutch again, clutch again.

This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

Let's get to something else here that I wanted I wanted to talk about because I was amused by it this morning. You guys have been fascinated by my fascination with the poor morning show for ESPN getting up at 1: 00 in the morning in order to get ready. My friends. For a 3: 00 in the morning. My friends. Well, Evan Cohen is not really your friend. You tried to take his job-Oh, he's my friend. And I wouldn't blame him. You tried to take Evan Cohen's sideline job at the Boca Bowl.

Sometimes your friends have things you want.

Evan Cohen is getting up at whatever time it is that he has to get up in order to start a 3: 00 show. I've noticed that Chris Canty, the former football player, is saying, Yeah, I'm not doing that. I'm going to get up at 6: 00 AM Bristol time. I'm going to stay in Bristol. I'm not actually going to go out to the Super Bowl at all. You guys go to the Super Bowl and you get up at 3: 00 AM, and I'll do the show at 6: 00 AM. But the reason that I wanted to put Chris Canty on the screen, because I noticed this today, my God, did he spend a lot of time talking with his right-hand in front of his face because he's got a Super Bowl ring on his middle finger. And he spent a lot of time just putting his hand on his chin, putting his hand in front of his face, making sure that every point that he was making, literally every point that he was making, had Super Bowl bling on it with a ring on his middle finger. That's absolutely something he's doing on purpose, correct?

Yeah, it's Super Bowl week, Dan. He's got to let you know. He's been there, all He's got one of them rings. Where's it on the middle finger, huh? I wear my Championship ring on the ring finger. That's probably why it's called ring finger.

So you go on each hand?

No, I don't wear two at a time. What am I, an asshole? No, I wear one and I wear it on my ring finger.

Nice hat.

I think it's because it's big and clunky, right?

And I guess the- Yeah, they'd clang next to one another.

The middle finger, you have more room in there. Isn't that the reasoning for why it is you would do that?

You'd have to ask him.

I guess we would. Why?

He's got his wedding band on his on his ring finger.

Do I dare ask what Jeremy is doing, wearing a sheet over his head? Or is that Jeremy? Or are we still pretending that the ghost of Dick Hammer is around here? Okay. That is… Okay, I didn't even realize what he was doing because I had-I'm just trying to get you to Super Bowl talk, if I'm being honest. I hadn't seen the hammer. I was saying, so that's what you did. So you heard what I was talking about. You couldn't find the magic crate music, so you just threw a ghost in here. A ghost, okay. You got a hammer.

He's having a hard time staying on camera.

He's got a picture of Richard Nixon in one hand, Tricky Dick, and he's got a Hammer in the other. I hadn't seen the Hammer, so now I understand the ghost of Dick Hammer is here. For those of you who do not know, even though Mike's dad thinks there are no story lines in the Super Bowl, Sam Darnold's grandfather was the original Marble Man, Dick Hammer.

He would have enjoyed that tidbit. You text him.

What's going on with you and your dad?

Isn't it, obviously?

How mad did your dad make you by coming in here and just delighting? He was delighted to be here. We were all delighted to have him, but he spent the entire night with Damoshek during our livestream of UM Miami, enjoying that Indiana was winning the game throughout.

Yeah, that's horrible. You can't pick your family. Here we go.

Are you mad at him? Have you had some- He's really great to my daughter. That's not an answer to my question.

Did you watch back his performance?

No. Thank you. That was a genuine laugh.

Are you mad at him? Are you crazy? Answer my question.

No, you answer my question. Are A three-hour live stream. Are you crazy? I'm not crazy. Are you crazy? No, I'm not crazy. Then you're stupid.

Why would he want to watch any of that back? He'd watch it back if they'd won. He's not going to watch it back when they lose.

No, but just critique your father's performance. He seems to want some There's no shortage of me critiquing my father's performance throughout life.

Hop in on a FaceTime one time. He's my dad, I'm his son. That's where the similarities pretty much end. Although we both like movies and wrestling. And the Bee Gees.

Are you mad at him?

Am I mad at my dad?

For doing that? For doing that. All the time. No, but I'm saying for coming in here, doing the livestream, wearing an Indiana shirt, rooting for Fernando Mendoza, Yeah, that's a cartoonish type of evil.

Yeah, it's not great. I wasn't a fan of it, but you know what? I guess I deserve it because I'm disrespectful to him. I would hate for my child to speak about me this way. So I guess, yeah, bongo away, dad. I know you wish Mendoza was yours.

The reason that I would imagine you were mad at him is because, I don't want to get too deep into the psychology of this. Mike's giving you stuff. But the fact-Your deepest, darkest moments. The fact that he doesn't understand you enough. Ask about his mom. Good stuff there. The fact that he doesn't understand you enough to know how much you care about the University of Miami program and that he was actively rooting for something that you're not actually dispassionate about. No. You don't have the casual perspective about this. The lack of understanding in him being like, Man, this is something to do to my son that will break his heart if they lose the most important game they've ever played in his lifetime, and I'm going to be in the background getting attention for playing the bongos every time the Cuban quarterback of the Indiana Hoosier scores. It makes it so that it's symbolic that he doesn't understand his son.

I'd much rather talk politics. I'm way more in my zone there.

All right, let's talk tennis then, since you sent me from Instagram. Since you sent me from Instagram, I should have done, give me an inner monolog in here so that I can do Mike's inner monolog while it is he's doing that to see how uncomfortable he is so you can see how it feels when we're near your vulnerabilities. Let's get the Jokeovich sound that Mike sent me where... Now, keep in mind, Jokeovich has won more Grand Slams than anybody ever. It's not Serena, it's not Federer, it's not anybody ever. He's won more than anyone ever. So when they talk to him about beating Sinner, and the journalist asks a question that has him chasing others, you get full-on, bared teeth, I'm a champion ego in your face, arms crossed, like, Do you not know who I am?

I'm chasing Yannick and Carlos. In which sense? In terms of winning Grand Slam titles, just right now. So I'm always the chaser, and I'm never being chased.

In the meantime, you won 24 Grand Slams.

But I'm saying it's-Thanks. It's worth saying that sometimes, right?

Sorry. I should have-Yeah, no worries.

I find it a little bit disrespectful that you miss out on what happened in between where the times when I started chasing, as you say, Rafa and Roger, and now that I'm chasing Carlos and Yannick, and there's probably about 15-year period in between where I was dominating the Grand Slam. I don't feel like I'm chasing, to be honest. I have tremendous respect for what Yannick and Carlos are doing, and they continue to do, and they will do for the next 10 to 15, 20 years. God knows how many years they're going to play. They're so young. This is a a natural cycle in sports. You're going to have another two superstars that are going to maybe have another third guy that I'm going to cheer for because I've always been the third guy at the beginning.

That's What's a bar to say the 15 years or so that I was dominating Grand Slams.

What needleed him initially was like, really, I'm chasing Carlos Alcaraz and Yannick Sinner. I, of 24 Grand Slams, am chasing others? No, my friend. And not even respectfully, they're chasing me.

So why does the reporter frame it that way?

I don't... Maybe there was a language barrier there, too. It It sounds like I heard some accents there. Maybe something got lost.

At the moment, though, he is behind them. When we're all watching, we know that he's not the best player in the sport. The best he can aspire to is to be the third best player in the sport just because of his age, not because of his resume.

I guess if we're talking about it, I would not frame it that way to Novak Djokovitch. I would not say, Hey, you're chasing these guys. I think I would have the perspective that Novak had there. But if you look at the tournament, he's obviously older, and he had really good self-awareness and perspective on this is the natural life cycle of athleticism and professional sports. I am not the guy that I was for 15 years. Let me remind you exactly who I am. For 15 years, I was taking out the very top that we've ever seen. These guys still have to chase me there. But yeah, I'm sure that guy shrank into his seat, Dan, because that... And he went on. It was like, really, we cut it down. It was two and a half minutes. One of the best answers I've ever seen on any postgame press conference ever.

Yeah, you went and attacked with, if it's not disrespect, a lack of understanding of history of who it is you're talking to there. You can't disrespect 15 years at the top of that sport. You can't diminish 15 years at the top.

Yeah, I don't think anybody would ever go. It's like going up to Michael Jordan and telling him, Hey, you're chasing Kobe. The hell? No?

I wandered away because- Dan, we do have breaking news here on the show.

I can announce that there is no longer any reason to check Ryan Rusillo's Instagram story. It's been deleted.

Damn it.

Damn. I wish he would have just owned it and kept it up. Kept it up. Maybe there was some IG guidelines, community bylaws that... I did picture in my head a scenario in which Caroline Levent buss into the oval office with a bunch of papers. I think we're good. Check out Rizillo's IG story.

He works at Barstool. Why do you have to take that down?

This is great for his brand over there. It's awesome. Go for it.

It's a good brand.

The alternative halftime show. The alternative halftime show is what details, who's performing- Kid Rock.

And two others. I got to tell you, this is the last time Lee Bryce hurts me. I was a big Lee Bryce guy.

They don't. Is this just because the halftime show is going to be in Spanish? Is this the reaction?

Yeah, I got a quote from Kid Rock if you'd like.

Yes, Stan.

He said he's having a dance party, wearing a dress, and singing in Spanish. We plan to play great songs for folks who love America. Probably songs like the one he released back in 2001, where the lyrics are, Young ladies, young ladies, I like them underage. Some say that's statutory, but I say it's mandatory.

That's America.

Makes sense that he'd be doing a halftime show the President.

They're really hung up on this dress thing as if it's- It's not a real thing. Something that Bad Bunny does all the time.

But also, if he did, who cares?

Where is it? Where is the alternate halftime show?

It's being brought to you by Turning Point USA, Dan.

Yeah, but he's asking where it's broadcasting from. And it's-In Hill. And it's right here, the seventh Ring of Hell. That's right, Roy.

Did they buy time?

You're right up.

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.

Always always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion.

Everything else?

Everything else.

Wearing clean underwear every day?

Well, that's just a personal decision.

Brushing your teeth?

Obviously smart, but not a rule.

Never PP on an electric fence.

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly.

You're finally starting to get it.

Drink responsibly. Jägermeister L'Core, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jägermeister US, White Plains, New York.