Transcript of Hour 1: THAT'S WEIRD, RIGHT? (feat. Michael Wilbon & Dave Dameshek)

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

Hi and hello, my fellow football Americans. It's your old pal Dave Damosheck. It's Super Bowl 60 Media Night. Some people here are going to answer questions. Other people are going to ask questions. Which one am I? Let's find out. Do you think that Tom braided wants to see you win a Super Bowl becoming the second Patriots QB to win one? That's a good question. I think it's something you have to ask him. Do you think it's weird that the New England Patriots are named after the Revolutionary soldiers who beat back the Brits? But now when the Patriots honor the best players they've ever had, what do they give them? A red coat. That's weird, isn't it? Does that make Seattle now America's team?

Yeah, I don't know the whole history behind the Patriots, the red coats.

But that's weird, right?

We beat the Brits, and they're wearing red coats.

I think they're announcing something about themselves.

So you're saying they represent the Brits?

Yeah, that's what it says. Like, they're telling us.

And you're saying since we wear Navy, we use America's team.

And the last team you were on proved fraudulent. They're not America's team. Is it the Seahawks now?

Well, That's something for an American, I answer.

Let's start a poll. We're getting the ball down the field. The clock's ticking down. I'm going to run out under the field in the second here to try and win the Super Bowl. You haven't given time to think in that one through? If the moment happens, it happens.

But you I'm just trying to keep it all the same.

If it does happen, now that we've had this conversation, will you think of me? First off, let's talk about the mustache. What went into it? I've never grown a mustache in my life. I really can't, as you can tell. No, I can tell. I was going to say as much.

Got into the season, we lost.

I shaved it. We won. I'm like, you know what? I'm just going to keep this a winning-losing thing.

And Sam Darnal and the boys just decided to win a lot of football games in a row.

And so that's why I still have it. You would like to play in the Super Bowl, right? Yeah. Maybe let me hand it off a couple of times. Drew Locke says that he would like to take a few snaps in the Super Bowl. Can you make that happen despite the fact that the guy can't even grow a decent mustache?

Oh, man, that's your opinion. I think his mustache looks great.

Coach, given the hair suit quality of your starting quarterback, and never mind the your backup cute-The what quality of him? The hair suit, the beard, that red beard that he wears. It's hairy. All right. If you throw a countdown in the Super Bowl, will you do this? Like twist your mustache like, Ha ha ha ha ha. Probably not. I don't know if I can really reach through the helmet too easy. Stefan, have you seen a picture of yourself getting off the plane the other day? Yeah. Man, you look crazy. You think so? Yeah, I mean, I don't think I could pull that look off.

Yeah, it was like some ArtCop Chanel, some old Jacques Mousse boots, like some stuff that you're probably not even interested in.

No, I'm interested. I just couldn't pull it off. It's all good.

I'll let you hold the next outfit.

Is this a must-win game?

A must-win? The I think every time we go out, it's a must-win game.

Is this a must-win game? Is every game a must-win game?

Every game is a must-win game.

It's a must-win game?

I think you just ask that yourself and see what you want me to say to that.

Dave, is this a must-win game? I think it is. It's the super. There we go.

What does Drake think? There we go.

Exact same thing you just said. We did it.

Ask questions. You just saw me do that. I hope you enjoyed it. I certainly did. Damn a check out.

That was excellent. I really enjoyed that the first time. I enjoyed it just as much as the second time. Mike, what was your favorite part of that? There's a degree of difficulty. Not many people actually make good stuff from Media Day, even though plenty of people are there trying to make funny stuff. You were delighted. I rarely hear Mike roar with laughter at anything. It's just because Yammercheck is being Yammercheck, correct?

But that's weird.

But that's weird, right?

You look crazy.

What were your thoughts there as you did that? How did you feel about your work and how have you enjoyed Super Bowl week out there?

Couldn't be prouder, Dan. Couldn't be prouder of what my life's added up to. Taking me to this point. Listen, it's a must-win game. That's what I'm here to report. How many times have you done that in a row?

How many years in a row have you gone to the Super Bowl and asked people if it were a must-win game? Is it more than a decade Oh, I didn't do it the last couple of years, but yeah, I've done it off and on.

I bet you I've done that at least about 10 times now. I always feel... I always get pangs of days before, Boy, is this pretty hacky? Just doing the same bit, just asking them if it's a must-win game. I can rationalize that it's okay because the responders stay fresh. They keep it fresh. It really also hinges on some third party, self-serious person nearby hearing it and then reporting it out to the world. Some idiot just asked if this is a must-win game, Media Night sucks. And then once it gets out into the world, that's when I become delighted. But that's weird, right? How much did Jason Myers hate you, Dave? Jason Myers did not seem impressed. He didn't, but I think we can all agree that he is going to think about me if he has to run there for the game-winning kick. I also thought about asking, because people are overwhelmed, if you haven't heard, by this Super Bowl matchup, and that's what we've talked about. Parody equals mediocrity, and now nobody knows who these teams are, really. Because we don't have dynasties, I guess. And so people are people are overwhelmed. I think it would have been funny, but I thought too rude to ask the Patriots, Can they name five members of the Seahawks?

And the Seahawks, if they could name five members of the Patriots.

No, you I should have done that. That would have been great.

I bet they wouldn't have, right? There's no way that the Seahawks could name five guys on the Patriots.

I would have liked to see them stammer and try and figure out the answer to your question and not being able to do it by numbers, which is how some of these guys do film work. But help answer a couple of questions for us from earlier in the show. We're waiting for Michael Wilbon here. He'll be here shortly to talk about what's going on at the Washington Post. But we were talking before about defensive metrics and the advanced metrics in sports. Football America does a very good job, Mondays and Fridays, of tackling history, tackling analysis, tackling funny. I don't know if you feel like you can accurately answer this question, but how do you answer the question of, is Seattle's defense actually better than Denver and Houston's, even though according to DVOA, it is?

To my eye, that's why... I mean, listen, we've talked it. I rely more on what my heart, my gut tell me than what those numbers say, Dan. But yeah, I think the Texans had a vibe of being more overwhelming in the second half of the season in terms of just, if they get ahead of you, they're going to unleash the hounds and your Cubie is going to struggle. I think it's a negligible difference, at least between the Texans and the Seahawks. And I don't feel like the Broncos are as good But what have you done for me lately and what did we just last see? I'm surprised there hasn't been more conversation about the performance that the Seahawks most recently put out there. I mean, the Rams are great, and a lot of people, including you, Dan, very clearly, really, Dan really liked those Rams even more than I did, and a lot of other people did. The Rams were real good, but I mean, think about it. That's an all-time dominant defense, what we just saw in Seattle. If you measure it based on that, it's not... Last scene wasn't that great.

I remember the Tampa game against Seattle in Seattle, where Baker was better than Sam Darnold somehow, and I'm holding it against the Seahawks.

How great were those uniforms, Dave? One of the greatest games of all time. We talked about it already, and I don't want to get bogged down with it. But I'm sick in my balls about the fact that we have to look at the mess that we're going to look at. But we already went over this, and what's done is done. Your what?

But that's You're plumb sick in your balls?

That's right.

What do you mean that's right? I don't even know. That's wrong.

It's not right, it's wrong. Not a good feeling. I'm just trying to be- But I don't even know what that feeling is. What does it mean to be plumb sick? Sick in my balls. You ever get punched down below? Anybody just gives you a good grazing and you feel that... Not a punch, in fact. If you get a grazing down there, that feeling, you get nauseated. That's what I mean. And I'm at that spiritually. My TV is going to go on and I'm going to be feeling sick in my balls because I'm going to be looking at whatever mess the Patriots get up is supposed to be instead of the glorious Pat Patriots against the Royal blue and the silver of the Seahawks O. G. Get ups. Oh, yes. You don't care, Dan, but Mike and I know.

It's not that I don't care. I'm just stuck on plumsick in the balls. What is plumsick? I don't even know what that expression means.

I'll plum over the moon, that thing. It's like quite as a colloquialism. It's like, I'm quite sure. I'm plumsick in my balls. Now you get it. But that's weird, right? Thank you, Zaz. I'm sorry about the Florida Panthers. Let's go, Pence. Pence doing real well, real well.

On Dominique's live show last night, Marcus Spears came out and said, The notion that this is supposed to be some cakewalk for Seattle has really made me sick. Made me sick.

Not in his balls, though, huh?

The People are betting Seattle minus four and a half. The people- Can you believe this, Dan?

I mean, for real, that is... I bounced off of many dozens of people in San Francisco, which As a reminder, this is a Super Bowl '49 rematch in the home of the '49ers, which is the San Francisco '49ers, which is nowhere near San Francisco. It's very confusing. I know you guys were talking about the San Jose and San Francisco thing. But anyway, of the dozens of people that I bounced off of, mostly informed people, I don't get any positivity around the Patriots' chances in this game. It's really weird. It's not like the number's nine and a half, it's four and a half, and everybody is on the Seahawks. But that's weird, right? Yes, it is weird. It is very strange to me that that's the case. And of course, we've gone round and round about, obviously, postseason QB wins, and Sam Darnold has now washed off the previous stink by winning a big-time postseason game. But he's still Sam Darnold. And that's, to me, the Patriot's chance, is that he could conceivably do what Sam Darnold sometimes does, which is throw three picks, and that can certainly swing the game. So, yeah, the thing I don't think is going to happen, though, is, and I think a lot of people are depending on this if you're trying to talk yourself into New England is, boy, Drake May, he consistently makes plays with his legs.

I think that's the thing that the Seahawks are going to be intent on taking away, because if they do, I really don't see me where the Patriots are equipped to keep up against that Seahaw team.

They don't have the playmakers. The argument on behalf of the Patriots is that, yes, Drake May can run better than anyone other than Josh Allen at the position. He is exceptional against the Blitz. Deep ball is better than any deep ball in the league. But I also think an argument to be made on behalf of the Patriots is they've lost three times this season all by one score. That team could be undefeated. I don't think if it were undefeated, a whole lot of people would be questioning them in the Super Bowl.

Listen, the overstatement of Again, people talking themselves into something, into this alleged truth is that the Patriots are a ham and egg team because the competition they played, there was no Virginia Tech out there for them. These were pro football teams that that they were beating after all. I don't like, as we discussed the last time, too, the thing that you immediately look at hyper focus on is JSN really makes that Seahawks offense go. The Patriots have Christian Gonzales, who you would think has a real good chance of slowing him down, quieting him a little bit. And then you think, What are the Seahawks going to do? The answer to me is Kenneth Walker. Look at what Kenneth Walker has done the last six weeks or so. He's been pretty undeniable as a pass catcher as well as running the ball. I think that's the difference in the game. I think Kenneth Walker ends up being your Super Bowl 60 MVP. But the bet that is most fun to make, not that you asked, is the safety bet. It's my favorite bet to make in a Super Bowl. It's the Yo 11 of pro football.

You just sit there for 60 minutes and root for the ball to go into the end zone or go through the end zone or for a 300-pound man.

Again, And with the recycled turds from football America. Dameshek, I need you to stop recycling.

That's not a recycled. That's me trying to counsel the general public, your audience, Dan. I'm trying to help them out to enjoy a little bit more. You know what would make it a little bit better? 11 to one odds when it comes through. That's what's going to be nice.

You can't recycle these turds from football America. Keep those over there and they won't become refreshed turds.

I don't know why I'm being attacked and in front of a legend. I see Michael Wilbon is waiting in the wings. That's it.

Get out of here, damn it.

Get out of here. That would be the strength. This is what I get. I want to talk about the Pro Bowl and how it sticks, and I want to tell you about the... Hey, by the way, congratulations to everybody who's anti-woke. They're going to stick it- You made Wilbon flee the premises. Wilbon just left because of your yammering, your recycled turds.

I'll get great news.

Take this, Wokesters. I'm going to go listen to Kid Rock on purpose. I I win again.

Get him out of here. Football America, Monday and Fridays. I'm telling you, it's excellent.

He's weird, right? I'm sick. He's weird, right? He's weird, right? You look crazy. But that's weird, right? He's weird, right?

Get him out of here. Enough.

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Dan Lebetard. Football. Football.

Football.

Football.

This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

Let's get a real talker and a real broadcaster in here, Michael Willbohn. Pardon the interruption. And most famously, I think, The Washington Post. And good God, was I heartbroken to see everything that just happened at The Washington Post. And we welcome I'm in, Will Bond, here because for many years, he and Cornheiser helped carry what has always been one of the greatest sports sections there has ever been. Now, I don't know, Michael, how much you've been watching what Will Louis, the guy who dismantled this sports department was doing walking the NFL red carpet. But how are you feeling? And thank you for making the time for us here during a busy time. How are you feeling about everything that's going on at the Washington Post?

Devastated, Dan. No, I'm not paying any attention to Will Louis. I'm not paying any attention to any of the Washington Post execs and what they could be doing. I don't know them. I've never met them. I had little regard for them anyway, long before any of this. To be honest with you, I haven't joined any chat groups and text threads. It's disgusting. It's disheartening. It's as bad a feeling professionally as I've had in my life to know that the Washington Postsport section is gone, essentially. And the newspaper is just not going to be what it was. I I walked in the door there as an intern at 20 years old, and I left at 51. I worked the first 31 years of my adult life at the Washington Post. Proudly, arrogantly, enthusiastically. It's responsible for everything I have. So I'm pissed off.

Who are you pissed off at?

The world.

I I understand that there are conditions. Things go away. Things go away bigger than the Washington Post. When my dad was in the prime of his life, and even, well, prime of his life for sure, The three sports that mattered, the only three sports that mattered were boxing, baseball, and horse racing. Well, boxing has gone the way we knew it. Don't tell me MMA. Boxing is gone. It doesn't exist in any form that resembles what obsessed America in the context of sports for 100 years, from the 1880s to the 1980s. Horse racing doesn't exist in any form that he knew. And baseball is a place now where they trot out a bullpen day in the World Series. People would They stop at windows in big cities at department stores to watch the World Series if they didn't have TV yet. And so there are major institutions that go away, and there's nothing you can do about it. Times change, interest changed, fascinations change, the way we consume things, it changes. And so am I mad at that? Yeah, that doesn't mean I don't understand it. But then mad at the people, the executives you started mentioning who could have done some things to stave this off but didn't really care to or didn't understand how to or weren't smart enough to.

Either way, I'm pissed at them. You're howling at the moon, and this might have come anyway. It seems like it was coming anyway. The Washington Post is the only newspaper that's taken at least to eight count. So I get it, but it doesn't mean I'm not angry about it.

You called Bezos a lightweight, right?

At least. I could have been worse. He's a lightweight. What he did with Kamala Harris's endorse in the newspaper, what he did with the wonderful slogan, democracy dies in darkness. He's just a lightweight at He's just another afraid dude. Man, I can't even imagine having that money and being afraid of a constituency or a dude in the White House or so beholden to just being what he is, which is a delivery man. He's great at it, the best ever. But just to be scared. Just lightweight, just a cream puff. What do you do? Really, if I saw him, I wouldn't shake his hand. Never I never met him, I wouldn't shake his hand.

What do you do with the idea that Mike Ryan espoused on the show yesterday? Hey, these things have to make money. I know you and I lived during a glorious time where the money was separated from the editorial. But in today's America and in capitalism, is Bezos supposed to just keep taking $100 million loss every year?

Not necessarily. But there are ways to handle things, Danny. Again, I'm I'm not saying I don't understand, but there are ways to handle things. I'll compare it to sports. You hear all the time, you and I hear all the time from athletes we know, and they get traded or cut, released, whatever, that they heard it on Sports Talk radio. The warriors decided to bring Drayvon Green in and talk to him and say, Hey, here's what could happen. So you mean Bezos and none of his agents, his lightweight agents, can talk to a staff that they employ. Again, I'm not saying I don't understand, and it might have to go away. It didn't have to go away like this, where people are on assignment at the Winter Olympics and don't even know if they'll be kept there or brought home. There's just lightweight, classless, gutless stuff that happens in every industry, and you hope it doesn't happen in yours. This is happening not just in my industry, but to a place I called home for 30 years.

Well, there are wartime journalists being let go in other countries. Never mind that they're not sending reporters to the National Spring Training or some of that. Yeah, exactly.

We're just talking about the context of sports. But yes, I know our correspondence for decades. Yes, it's far more egregious than anything in sports. You asked me about my experience and What I'm focused in on and listening to and paying attention to. It's my little corner of the world, former corner of the world first. But yes, the whole newspaper. The Washington Post, it sits on my desk every day in my home. I don't just consume it digitally. I pay to receive it. The newspaper. It's 1960. I grew up delivering newspapers when I was a kid in Chicago, two of them. They're going to die, too, probably. But I get the Washington Post here at my home. So I'm aware of everything that goes on in it, not just the sports section, but it all makes all of it. The way it was handled makes me angry. And I would tell anybody that to their face.

How dare you say boxing is dead when just recently we were given this moment in boxing and you're out here blaspheming against boxing, no longer being as relevant as it was as this guy gets his tope knocked off in the middle of the ring in a heavyweight fight that matters, he loses his hair. How dare you say boxing is dead?

These two dudes, that's a lie, because these two dudes ain't in any heavyweight fight that matters.

Your corner of the world here when you speak of sports, your greatest passion is and always has been basketball.

Not necessarily. I'm seasonal. I'm a seasonal dude. I have been more prominent in your face the last 15 years doing basketball. Before that, I did football. Before that, I did college basketball. Before that, there were times of tennis and golf. That's one of the things about the Washington Post. One of the things the ESPN destroyed. And yes, I'm blaming ESPN for making everybody a specialist. By the way, you see behind me, behind my left ear, there's a picture of Joe Lewis raising Muhammad Ali's hand. That was boxing. But I interrupt. I'm sorry. What are you going to say about my opinion?

I don't know. You had ESPN destroying something. You know that's catching it for me. But I don't even know what it is that you had them destroying with your specialists.

Well, people are being generalists. They're no generalists anymore. They're just specific shows, specific things where people host or report on specific things, not everything. You and I reported on everything. We did everything. When college basketball season was over, I went to baseball. When baseball was over, I went to football. When football was not over, but it over, I went to basketball because it was basically over in December then.

But my question on basketball was going to be, as someone who clearly you love basketball, your son, Matthew, you've taught him to love basketball. Yes. The sport today, in its evolved form, Where players are getting hurt all over the place. They're playing a different style. 53 is a game. Everything that's happening in the sport, do you love it the same way that you did?

I hate it. I hate it this week more than ever. I wanted to come and sit down and watch a real game between Oklahoma City and San Antonio the other night, and then I find out half the people aren't playing, which is the norm. It's the norm for half the people you paid to see, whether you paid to see in person or at home on one of the nine streaming surfaces that makes it so you don't even know where the games are. You don't even know where they are. Is it on Prime? Is it on ESPN? Is it on NBC? Where the NBA TV? Where the hell is the game? I can't find it. I was with Charles Barkley one night in Arizona recently. We're having dinner, and we were like, Hey, we got to go watch that game. And Charles and I both look at each other and go, Where's the game? Where is it? Two people who are employed to talk about basketball on national television don't know where the damn game is.

Yeah, but that's just old guys.

No, it's not old guys. No, it isn't. It actually isn't. I asked my son about it. He's 17. He plays high school basketball. No, it isn't just old guys. It's funnier because it's old guys. You're right about that. But no, I don't like what it's become. I don't like All-Star Weekend. Talk about lightweight and talk about the The NBA has had years to address and fix the All-Star game, and apparently is afraid to. Who do they not want to cross? They don't want to cross LeBron. They don't want to cross... Who is it they don't want to offend? Steph? I doubt it's those two guys because they're up for anything that promotes and sells and makes the product better. But who's the league afraid to offend? You want to put a game out there of international players versus US, you'd have interest in that. The moment the Super Bowl is over, you'd have fascination with that. They're scared to do it. And they come up with three teams. It's just lazy. You know what it is. I know I'm not going to curse and say what I want to say. You know what it is.

Starts with a B and an S. That's just that part of it. The product, there's so many great players playing, great young players, and I do like that. I love that the league is less old than it used to be. And it's always been a league where you had to play a long time to become great and be in a position with a band of people to challenge and contend. It's a little different now. You got more teams now. I like that there are 8, 10 teams that look like they could really challenge, if not eight, six or 8, challenge for a championship. I love that. I love the international stars. So there are things about the game I love. Overall, the fact that you don't even know when you're going to see them is what pisses me off most. Load management, whether people are... I don't question injuries, Dan, in any sport. But damn, if we're told all the time, my son comes in and says, Oh, dad, the players now are bigger, stronger, faster, more athletic. Then how come their asses are hurt every night? The best in treatment, in medicine, in technology, in equipment.

Dudes used to wear canvas shoes with no tape, and they played 82. And now guys have everything, and they can't play 60 games. I don't like that. I hate that. And it may not be just the NBA, but the NBA seems to major in that right now.

Love you, buddy. Always good seeing your face. Always good talking to you. Thank you for making time for us.

Now you got me all riled up.

I did. Once you got to canvas shoes and no tape, I'm like, That guy is now in a hostile. He's in a hostile mood. I've sent him into the rest of his day filled with hostility.

Don't let me forget, as I leave you, commercial flights. But they're all great. They're the greatest athlete on the planet. They may be, but they can't play more than 50 games. Come on now. The rest of us are allools all the time because we consume it. We keep consuming it. Keep buying it, keep watching it.

Love you, buddy.

Love you, too. He's safe. He's right.

See you later. Of course, he's right. Canvas shoes with no tape. They used to play 82 with canvas shoes and no tape. I love him. He's been the greatest. For a long time. Always good when Michael Willbohn makes time for us.

Don Levatard. In terms of heat fans, you're the most irrational of us right now. What's the pivot? Oh, irrational.

Stugatz. Oh, my irrational. Did you not hear your voice there? It's going to talk to me, my boy, dude. If I were making a cartoon thing that was meant to symbolize irrational, that's the voice I would give it.

The entire premise- This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

Let's do against the spread. Against the Spread.

Against the Spread.

Against the Spread. Against the Spread. Against the Spread is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

Rory, what do we Women's Olympic Hockey. Tomorrow, the United States plays Finland. They are five and a half goal favorites of Finland. They won five to one against Chexia yesterday. Draftkings has United States winning gold at minus 150 and minus 10,000 to medal, while Finland is 35 to one to win gold plus 200 to metal. That's the closest odds. That's as of last night. Keep an eye on Laila Edwards. She's going to be a star. Go with the United States at five and a half. Wow. The favorites.

Mike, That was a lot that he gave us there. I'm taking the Super Bowl. The line's going up, everybody. Keep an eye on this. You're going to watch, right? I'm going to watch this, and you can get it at five in some places. I like it at five. So let's take the Patriots and Mike Vrabel against a public Seattle Seahaw team. I like Mike Vrabel in these spots. If you eliminate a bad Tennessee Titans team, one of the worst Tennessee Titans teams in franchise history, his record, ATS and straight up as a dog, is an all-time deal for gamblers So I'm going to lean on the pats. So you like the bigger number? I'm going to take the five with the pats.

The Athletic wrote a story the other day in which they were quoting an assortment of anonymous players. Did you see this at all, Zazl? No. About the halftime show? How do they feel about the halftime show? And an anonymous player said, I think they're going a little too far with all of these international acts. He's from Puerto Rico.

Yeah, there's Buddy. They don't know that.

What position is that anonymous player? Kicker. Is it a kicker? Because I thought offensive lineman.

Offensive lineman, for sure. Yeah. Guards. There was a study on political leanings by position in the NFL, N'Chay. Further away you get from the ball, the more left of center they get. But there's actually not a lot of left of center dudes. Millionaires-in the NFL? Like the tax thing, I found. They're willing to overlook a lot.

Did you guys I see this story also from The Athletic? It legitimately confused me, The New York Times and The Athletic, where because the Olympics have indeed started, there are skiers injecting themselves in the penis, enhancing their penises to fly further. I think it was something called a hydraulic acid into their penises?

That's right. Why? Come on, this.

I don't understand how that would make you fly further in skiing. I'm at a bit of a loss as to how any of this would work in terms of physics. It doesn't seem to be something to me that would be worth it if you get a small advantage, but a large- An average-sized advantage. A large needle in the penis in order to inject yourself. You can explain this to me, Jeremy.

I I read the story, and the explanation in the story was that they're doing so so that they can increase the size of their uniforms because just an extra two square inches of fabric on the entire uniform being loose can potentially give you over 5 feet of flight in carry. It's a game of inches. It is a game of inches, and apparently, just getting an extra inch or two could potentially change whether you medal or not. I'm sorry, Mike. Why can't they just wear the bigger clothes? They fit you for your uniform because it's supposed to be skin-type. So you take that shot and it makes You're a junk bigger? I guess, and seemingly temporarily. Can you send me that link. Hell, yeah, brother.

There are all sorts of advantages that people will go and seek when they're competing against others in the margins for their advantages. I know a number of football players who wear smaller shoulder pads because they want to be more aerodynamic. I think people would be surprised at the lengths all athletes go to get the smallest of advantages. I think that- I have a huge advantage.

Mine is also quite big.

Is this what we're doing now? You know what? I don't know what the penalty would be for that. Well, he said his was.

If I didn't say mine was, people might think that I have a smaller one. Dan was insinuating small advantages. None of us have a small advantage. You have a big one, right? Mine's not that big. I'm not saying a word. Minor penalty, two minutes. Personal foul. Personal and foul.

Everyone out. Out.

You two out.

You The show ends in 90 seconds. That's fine. We'll delay the penalty until Monday. Santino said Chris has one. They'll take... Okay, I don't want to talk about...

The first 30 seconds. Out.

It's a minute 30. Everybody out.

30 seconds on Monday.

Congrats on that. That's right, because there are only 90 seconds. That's what we have. We have the best left in the show. Congrats on that hammer. All of you, get your dick hammers out of here. I don't have any use for any of you. How short are we ? Get out of here. I'm on your dad's side on all matters. I side with your father on all things. Again with the Dick Hammer Ghost Sound, Roy.

I didn't play it. That was Chris.

What do you mean? He was out of the room.

That was the last thing he did before he left.

What did you think of Wilbon, Zaz? I enjoyed hearing from him. You seemed a little bored. No. It was Old Man shaking his fist at the sky takes.

No, but I agree with those. I agree with that. It is Old Man yelling at the cloud, but I agree with all of that. I'm totally with him on everything he said about the NBA.

You don't care about the journalism stuff the way that he and I do, right?

Well, I've never been a writer. I've never worked for a newspaper, so I don't care about it in that sense.

But it's not about writing. It's about protecting basic freedoms and having balance when it comes to power and injustice. Yeah.

No, that part I care about, absolutely. But you probably feel similar. Will Bond's telling you it's life and death with him. That's very serious.

That's a terrible way to end the show.

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never PP on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jägermeister L'Core, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jägermeister US, White Plains, New York.