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Transcript of Drake Definitely Beats Buffalo, Baker for MVP, a Bad QB Draft, Guess the Lines, and Parent Corner With Cousin Sal

The Bill Simmons Podcast
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Transcription of Drake Definitely Beats Buffalo, Baker for MVP, a Bad QB Draft, Guess the Lines, and Parent Corner With Cousin Sal from The Bill Simmons Podcast Podcast
00:00:00

The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by FanDuel Sportsbook. We are also brought to you by the Ringer podcast Network, where I have a new rewatchables coming on Monday. It is Robert Redford Month. We did Jeremiah Johnson, one of Redford's all-timers. This is with Chris Ryan and my dad. Only the second time that he's ever been on a rewatch was probably the last time. Shoshack and Jeremiah Johnson are his two favorite movies. It's the three of us. That is coming Monday. If you'd like to show Task, we've been covering on the Prestige TV podcast as well. We have a lot of NBA stuff coming because suddenly the NBA season is starting a week from now. You can check out the Ringer NBA show. You can check out Zack Lo's podcast. But we have a lot of good basketball content, and there will be a bunch of stuff on this podcast coming next week. So stay tuned for that. You can watch the videos on my YouTube channel as well. You can watch the rewatchables videos on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel. And coming up on this podcast, I'm taping the intro after what happened in the Patriots Bills game.

00:01:05

It was a very happy night for me. I tried to contain myself, but Cousin Sal came on, and a lot of stuff happened on this podcast. But I'm not sweating. I'm just glistening. I'm glistening with joy after an unbelievable Patriots win. It's all coming up next. We're going to take a break, bring in Pearl Jam, and then Cousin Sal. This is the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel. If you're betting on the NFL, come on. Fanduel is the place to do it. They've got everything. Same game, power of the ice, quick bets for when you want to jump in live. Your way, so you can set your own lines on just about anything. The app's fast, it's easy to use, and best of all. When you win, you get paid instantly. I've been in Boston, Massachusetts, recently. Guess what I did? Use Fandil. Super fun. Download the Fandil app or go to fandil. Com/bs to get started. Must be 21 plus President Select States, 18 plus in DC, Kentucky, and Wyoming. Get in a promo call, win a 100, gambler. Or visit rg-help.

00:02:21

Com. Call 888-79-777 or visit ccpg. Org/chat in Connecticut.

00:02:30

All right, live on YouTube on a Sunday night. Cousin Sal is here. I just watched my favorite football team beat Josh Allen in Buffalo. Say it, Sal. Drake definitely was the end of the game. My guy. My guy. I never stopped believing. Drake definitely came through some big ass plays. We needed some wild plays from him. All the Worst guys in the team made penalties in the second half, and I started to wonder if it was going to happen, and they held on, Sal. What did you see?

00:03:08

I am not going to love this, Bill. This is going to be a rough 90 minutes or whatever we're doing here. No, he was freaking great. He still, Drake, maybe, still barely beat the truly terrible Dolphins and lost to the Raiders, but he made every single throw count today. I mean, I don't even know where you want to start. To me, that last play where he didn't sacked was as big as anything.

00:03:31

And to me, when he rolled right- And kept the clock burning.

00:03:33

Yeah, when he rolled right and hit Diggs, that was amazing, too, by his own 10. But I'll let you gloat. Go ahead. Go crazy.

00:03:41

Well, I really thought this was a solid team with a chance to be a playoff team before the air, and then they stunk. And then there were real signs the last two weeks, but they had to show it tonight. The two big things for me, Diggs was incredible. I was on text threads with Pats fans, trying to figure out when was the last time they a true number one. As much as I love Edelman, he was a number one. He wasn't like this. Edelman was amazing. He's one of the best playoff receavers ever. But he wasn't like this, where it's just like every single time he needed a play, he was just getting open He was creating yards after. Then González was just outstanding. It had the big play of the game. It was such a good play. It almost seemed like it was past interference, but they replayed it.

00:04:25

I would have... Did you see a replay? I saw the replay from down the field from the end zone.

00:04:29

They decided not to show the good replay, I think.

00:04:32

Chidi González is what I call him, but whatever.

00:04:35

But that was just he didn't play the first couple of games. They had enough impact dudes out there. There's still no depth. There's still dudes that are involved that will not be on the team two years from now. But for the most part, we watch football all day. They're not an elite team, but I think they can swim around in that next swimming pool, right?

00:04:54

Yeah, for sure. And the Diggs thing is fun to me because he wasn't exactly great with the Bills, right? So when you give your ex-team an FU, when you didn't really maybe give it your all, maybe he did give it his all, but he wasn't. It's always weird. What the hell? That must really screw with their mind.

00:05:11

He was good to start. The last year, I don't think, went great. And he had... And Minnesota, too, is the same thing where people were unsure of what a great teammate he was. But he's been an amazing teammate on the Pats.

00:05:23

He's found a hot blood.

00:05:24

He's a good teammate. They've been saying it all year, like leader, leader, leader. Sometimes these guys find it in their early 30s. But what do you think of the Buffalo side of this before we dive into more Pat stuff? Because they were really sloppy. They couldn't get Cook going. And the Pats, I think, have an excellent run D. Cook could never really get unlocked, but I don't know. It's a pretty choppy game for a Sunday Night MBC game by them.

00:05:48

Yeah, for sure. Especially the first half hour or so, right? There were three turnovers. You guys went back and forth, and you needed everything that happened to the Bills today to win that game, right? They had the two Coming into this game, I think they only had two turnovers, right? For the whole season.

00:06:03

They gave us two in the first half.

00:06:05

We gave them four extra points by not going for it on the one-yard line with four seconds left, which I did not.

00:06:12

I thought they should have gone for it because you need points to beat Josh Allen. I just feel like Drake should be able to get a yard on a sneak. He's 6'4, he's 230 pounds. We should be able to get a yard.

00:06:24

I don't know why that wasn't the play with 10 seconds left, the sneak, because you had a time out left, right? What Was it six seconds? I don't know what you had. I forget what you had.

00:06:31

We had the four seconds left. Four seconds left. I don't know. I thought they got conservative, but obviously, they felt like they could slow down Buffalo's defense enough. Turned out to be the right call. It was a Brable masterclass. It really was. I thought he really like the pace of the game, how they tried to control, keep Josh off the field. It was all the stuff like he did when he was in Tennessee. I also want to say I'm celebrating. I don't know if you can see it, but I have a nice hot water with a lemon. I'm going to burn my hand pulling it out.

00:07:03

Is this the Bill Simmons? Like there's an Arnold Palmer?

00:07:06

No, it's the Jake May. That's what this is. It's the Jake May. It's the hot water with a lemon victory drink. It's good. Which is why I'm sweating right now. Listen, on behalf of all Patriots fans, we had braided for two decades. Before that, we didn't really ever have anybody. And then we hit that bleak, you don't have a quarterback stage of things again. And we knew the whole time with braided. It wasn't like we were I'm taking this for granted. I was like, Oh, man, this is going to end. It's going to suck. And then you have all these dudes, and Mac Jones turned out to be disappointing. I'm glad he's found himself on San Francisco, and Cam Newton, and Hoyer's in there, Zappie, all these dudes. And you start to wonder, how many years are we just not going to have a quarterback? If you're the Raiders right now, if you're the Browns, sometimes this could be two, three decades, and they have a guy. And so they beat Buffalo, but more importantly, they have a guy. They know they have a guy, and there's only 10 of them, and they have one of them.

00:08:00

Love this. Love this. Love that you're overconfident again. Love that this means we could wait a couple of weeks before digging into if Zion is going to win Comeback Player of the Year for the- That's next week.

00:08:11

Last week, yeah.

00:08:12

Yeah, I love it. I love right where you are. No, but of course, I get what you're saying. We sit through those 1: 00 PM Eastern games and you have to figure out, I think we're going to do the exercise in a few minutes.

00:08:23

We're going to do a bad QB draft later. We saw so many bad quarterbacks today.

00:08:27

So many. That's it.

00:08:30

It's like having a herp. That's it. It's on your lip for the next 20 years. A herp? I call it a herp.

00:08:37

A herp?

00:08:38

What is that? Is that Foster? A herp?

00:08:42

Herp. Never heard that herp. Oh, my God. Now everyone's I'm going to forget about the hot water because the herp is taking over.

00:08:48

I'm not going to forget because I'm starting to sweat. I'm probably need the air conditioning on here.

00:08:51

You're going to scal your throat for no reason. 77 degrees.

00:08:54

Of course, my wife was hanging out in the back with a friend of hers having rosé and then came in and there was It was just classic two and a half minutes left. And I was like, Hey. And then she looked and saw the score. And at least we'd been together long enough where she was like, Oh, it was 2020. Eight and a half point underdogss. What did you think of that line? Did you take the pats, by the way?

00:09:16

No, I didn't take the pats. Ask me the other side. Ask me if I had the Bill's money line to close out a bunch of parlays. That's the question you should be asked.

00:09:24

Well, I know you had the Cardinals. I cannot, absolutely cannot wait to talk about that.

00:09:28

No, we can't talk about that. I'm going to need to Wednesday before I talk about that.

00:09:32

So there are no undefeated teams left, and there is only one winless team, the Jets of New York City.

00:09:39

Right.

00:09:40

Even though they're playing New Jersey. And there's a bunch of four-win teams. I have no I knew who the best team in the AFC is anymore, and I'm not even sure who the best team in the NFC is anymore, and I'm not even sure who the 14 playoff teams are. But today was the first night I felt like the Pats could sneak into this 6-7 range. If Baltimore the year from hell. If Cincinnati is out with Burro. We thought maybe Vegas, even if you give two playoff teams to the AFC South, probably one from the north. And then the Chargers today, who their offensive line just completely cratered, and their defense died, and they looked terrible. So we might only get two from the AFC West. So that does leave a spot for them. The schedule is super easy. Well, you thought that. Can they get to nine wins?

00:10:29

You them as a seven. Yeah.

00:10:30

Then they lost to Las Vegas, who hasn't won since and who looks like they're one of the worst teams in the league.

00:10:35

You're back at it. It is anyone's game. I still think the Bills are the premier team in the AFC, although I would think that the smackdowns at home would occur. They had a little trouble with the Saints last week, too, before they got ride at the ship. And then this week, it's interesting. This is why we watch every week.

00:10:56

When you go back, you look at the Bills' first four in that 41 to 40 Ravens game that seemed so awesome. It seemed like it was going to be an AFC title preview. We don't feel that way anymore. They beat the Jets. Everyone's beating the Jets. Beat the Dolphins by 10. They beat the Saints who hung around. They couldn't beat the Pats today. They don't really have an awesome start to finish win yet. Whereas I look at a team like Denver that's three and two. It's two plays away from being five and oh, but has some good start to finish performances. I thought they were great today. If you If you're just talking about best both sides teams in the AFC right now, I'm not saying it's going to last, but I think Denver has probably... They probably bring the most things to the table out of all the AFC teams. Buffalo is Josh, which is the difference.

00:11:42

Well, that was the defense, right? That we thought would show up at some point that we saw last year with Denver. They were excellent. I think they dropped them five or six times Hertz, probably five. But yeah, really good. And we killed Nicks all week in the last two weeks, and his QBR He was bottom four, bottom five. But he made some big throws, too.

00:12:04

House called him out on the podcast because he really wanted to take the Eagles money line. It was like, if Bo Nicks sticks it to us, so be it. He's been blah, blah, blah. And he was really bad for the first two hours of that game, and then rose. Can we do Mike and the Mad Dog for the rest of the Pat schedule? Do you want to be Mike or Dog?

00:12:22

I always like being the dog.

00:12:24

You be the dog. I'll be Mike. Patriots are three and two. Week 6 at New Orleans.

00:12:33

This is a tricky, tricky game, Bill. A little bit of a let down. We saw what they did in the Superdome. Don't give it a W just yet, but I'll tell you what, we'll give them a win. We'll give them a win. Okay.

00:12:44

At the Titans.

00:12:46

Against his old team. They both had this circled on the calendar. It's got to be a win. They don't win this, forget it.

00:12:53

I forgot to be Mike. So, Doug, if they beat the Saints and Titans, they're five and two. Home Cleveland, week eight.

00:13:03

I know that defense comes alive. But again, this is a Vrabel victory right here. I think you get three in a row, including this build. Yeah, you're going to win that one.

00:13:13

I'm going to be Bill for a second. No, I'm going to be built for a second. They're already on a two-game winning streak. Beating Saints, Titans, Browns would be a five-game winning streak. That feels too good to be true. Six and two They're either five and three or six and two, I think, realistically. All right, back to you, Mike. Week nine, Atlanta home.

00:13:37

All right, now I'm going to be Bill for a second. Anytime Panics has walked up against us... No. Atlanta's home? Where is it?

00:13:46

We'll scrap back at the top. Week 9 is Atlanta. Go ahead. Week 10 is at Tampa.

00:13:52

Yeah.

00:13:52

That's a tough one. Week 11, Thursday, Jets. I don't know what quarterback the Jets will be in at that point. Week 12, at Bills. No borough.

00:14:01

Oh, man.

00:14:02

Week 13, Home for the Giants on a Monday night. Week 14, bye. Week 15, Bills. Week 16, at Ravens. Week 17, at Jets. Week 18, Dolphins. This is why I picked them to make the playoffs. That's some fucking crazy schedule. They have three hard games.

00:14:20

This has gotten so bad that I'm now looking at them to win the division. I hate that I'm doing this. This is great. Plus 360. That's actually about right.

00:14:31

They're plus 360 to win the division.

00:14:33

Look at you now. Look at you.

00:14:35

No, that seems low. Well, Buffalo has just their hard World Games left at Atlanta, at Houston, at the Patriots, at Cleveland. Cleveland. I mean, they have an easy schedule, too. This is the whole thing with the AFC where we thought there might be two.

00:14:50

If you can beat them again at home, of course, it's your division to take, I think.

00:14:55

By the way, when we talk about we have a quarterback, thank God. You have that with Dak right now. Dak's been great this season.

00:15:03

He's like 30.

00:15:04

I know, but I think Dak, people forgot. I don't think he had the greatest year last year, but watching all the TVs today, he was one of the most competent guys by far.

00:15:15

Oh, for sure. Yeah. I just don't know with the Jets. I really don't know. I can't give that too much creedence, but he's doing this without CeeD Lamb. He's tossing the ball and it's getting good results.

00:15:28

Offensive lineman?

00:15:29

Yeah.

00:15:30

You guys are missing a whole bunch of people. Yeah. So just quickly on that game, Cowboys Jets. Field's now 0-26 when the other team scores 21 plus points. I think that's the most amazing stat in the NFL. So if you get to 21 points, fields can't win, basically. 0-26. I think how many games that is. That's almost two seasons of games.

00:15:52

Yeah. Even your defense could score, and it wouldn't help you because you're scoring less than 20 there. Wow. Yeah, I feel bad for that, coach. I don't want to say they're the worst team in the league, but when you don't have wins five weeks in, you're right there. And it feels like Aaron Glenn, the team is punking him, right? They can't tackle. They have four, like you said, fields four and a half yards per pass, I think. A lot of five sacs to the Cowboys who had five sacks all year. That said, we're a game and a half behind the Eagles with a home matchup against them. So NFC East is ours. I can't believe we're not favored.

00:16:28

I was going to ask you. No. 9, 7, and one is a possible Cowboys record. I'm just saying it's possible. Is that a playoff spot in the NFC? Is that a seven seed? Oh, I think so. Nine, seven, and one.

00:16:43

I think so. I think they'll It'll be a 9, 8 battling at the end. But we have a really tough... I don't want to mic in the Mad Dog this, but we have a- No, you do have a tough one. We have a tough stretch. Games like weeks 12 through 17 is bad.

00:16:56

It was an interesting game today because Sheil had a stat that the The Jets had the most 10 plus yard plays today. They had 19 10 plus yard plays. They actually moved the ball. They got stopped on a couple of fourth downs. They had a fumble inside the 10. There are also defensive I can't believe the stats true, but I read it on ESPN, so I'm assuming it's true. They're the first team since 1933 to not have a defensive turnover in the first five games, to not have a single turnover. That happened since 1933, apparently.

00:17:33

Wow.

00:17:34

Yeah. How's that possible? But I guess it's possible.

00:17:37

Oh, my God.

00:17:38

It's almost 100 years.

00:17:40

Now I feel extra bad for Aaron Plante because he has to count on at least three turnovers through five weeks. That's despicable.

00:17:47

That was supposed to be his big thing, right? Right. Then I think Rich Chimini is one of the guys who covers the team. He said that first half that they played was on par with the Gace era, the worst of that, the worst of, what do you say, the co-tit era, the worst coaches they've ever had. It was the worst half he'd seen since he had been covering that team.

00:18:07

I thought he said Gace era. I was like, What? What do you say? What is this?

00:18:10

Remember Adam Gace? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was the coach in high school.

00:18:14

Flowing out, yeah.

00:18:16

So on the Cowboys, are you Ewing Theory? Do we have to send Ewing Theory committee to Dallas? What are you thinking? You never went anything with Micah Parsons.

00:18:26

I was bummed within tie. I wanted 14 ties at the end of the year.

00:18:29

I wanted to go 8, 6, and 3?

00:18:32

No, not even that much. 2, 3, and 11. Like an English premiere record or something. But yeah, I'm all right. I was overall happy with the 40-40 performance, and I'll be all right, again, until November when it gets tough again. So we should beat the Panthers, and we have trouble with them, typically. And so let's see what happens next week.

00:18:56

Well, you seem fairly well-coached, at least on offense. Yeah. Yeah. So it's good.

00:19:02

You like that round. I haven't seen that. You see that round up the locker room speeches by the coaches?

00:19:07

I didn't see his today. Was it good?

00:19:09

It was good. He said the players usually sit in the back of the plane. Today, the players sit in the front of the plane. That's what happens when you get a road win? So that's nice. There's steps.

00:19:20

It feels like there's an incredible amount of pressure on those speeches now.

00:19:25

Yeah, right.

00:19:26

They got a guy with a 4K HD camera, seven inches from your face, and you basically have to turn in a Pacino on any given Sunday every week. And you've got to remember who the four people who get the game balls, and you got to go around, you got to make eye contact with everybody, you got to have the right enthusiasm. What if somebody's just not good at that? They just tell them no cameras.

00:19:46

Then they're not going to get the Oscar. They're not getting the Coach of the Year award. I really do think everything else equal, those dumb speeches make a difference. Not that Dan Campbell's one too many of them, but I think he's great at that.

00:19:58

Do you think Dennis Green, my must be wherever he is. I don't know if he's dead or alive. If Dennis Green is like, Man, I really missed my era. If we'd been in this era being filmed with the postgame speech with the 4K camera, I would have been fucking Newt Rockne. It would have been amazing.

00:20:15

Is there a class you should take before that? Is that as important as everything? So that you should take a class to just kick ass in 40 seconds in a post game?

00:20:24

It's longer than that. It's like four minutes. You have to remember Remember, different things. I like when they throw the game ball and the guy has to then talk. It's like the nickelback or the kicker. You're like, Yo, we got a great group of guys in here, man. We got to keep it up, man. Let's keep working. And they just don't know what to say. They need to coach those guys, too. They're not ready for it. Yeah, they're just not ready for it. And then some guys will be amazing. All of a sudden, they're turning into a preacher.

00:20:58

Some go too long. They should maybe play them off or do the comedian thing where they shine the light or something. But yeah, it sucks all the energy out. The long snapper doesn't need to go for three and a half minutes.

00:21:08

My favorite was last week when we talked about that Ben Johnson one last week when He was basically like, This is what we knew. The other team could have had a field goal and he would have lost. All they did is make a field goal. You're not giving a speech like that.

00:21:24

We could talk about the Titans when we get to them, but that speech can only include about what the other team did to fuck up and not how great your team was.

00:21:33

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00:22:45

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00:23:51

Louis, Missouri. The gambling event of the year. Now, we already had one of the stupidest gambling moments in a long time with that Philadelphia block field goal, TD, that we all thought was like, well, we won't top that this year. We top it. Cards, Titans, I think, is the bar. I think it was a 9. 9 for if you bet on Arizona, just your... So my first question is, did you bet on Arizona?

00:24:22

All over the place. All over the place. I had them. The Ringer 107 minus eight and a half. Loved it. I had Money Line parlay, loved it, had them in multiple eliminator pools to a point where when a team blows a spread for you, you're like, Good, screw them. I hope they lose the game. And even though I knew I was going to be out a bunch of eliminator pools and money and everything else, I still hope they lost the game. And then they lost the game.

00:24:47

You got that spyful.

00:24:47

Yeah, it was that spyingful. Now I'm angrier. It's funny because people ask me, my wife is like, Don't you get tired of watching the same games over and over? It's like, No, no, no. They're not the same because in this one, an idiot dropped the ball at the goal line with no one around them. And then another idiot intercepted a ball and then fumbled it. And then a second moron, instead of jumping on it, kicked the ball. Pretty cool, right? Every week, it's something different. But 21-6.

00:25:10

We just talked about this last week. We were talking about the degrees of stupidly ruining your own countdown. Because who is the guy who did it last week? Donny Mitchell? The guy in the Colts. And they'd be five and oh, maybe, if he doesn't do that. The DeMarcado today, this was the worst one. He's slowing down and dangling it like he's Michael Jackson dangling the baby over the balcony. And just run over the goal line. You have one job. Just keep going. Do it in the end zone. Run into the end zone and then dangle it. And also we have proof of concept that this is stupid because multiple people have done it and then gotten excoriated for days and weeks afterwards about how done they were. And now it's still happening.

00:25:56

Yeah. The top drop drop at the goal line is like it causes life-changing stress. I really feel it does for gamblers and fans of Arizona. It's affecting the health of tens of thousands of people. I know we want to get rid of red dye and Skittles. It's fine. It's shitty for you. No one's arguing. But betting on guys dropping the ball for no reason is just as much damage to Americans. I feel like, first of all, you should have to pay a million dollars if you do that. I don't care where you have to find the ball.

00:26:24

It's a fine.

00:26:25

A fine and jail time, three years in prison. You hear that? Amari D. Ricardo, what a terrible person he turned out to be.

00:26:33

Awful. He's going to try to do better. He's going to learn from his mistakes.

00:26:37

Not with my money backing him.

00:26:39

I think I said this a couple of years ago when this happened, and I'm just going to reuse the point I made because it was one of my better points. I think you just black out when you're about to score a countdown. I think you lose your mind. That guy's running. He had a 76-yard countdown, right? He's running full speed. He got through. You're sprinting down. Everybody's cheering. You see the goal line at the end. You're on the big scoreboard. You can see yourself and you're running and you're just like, I think you just black out.

00:27:08

You're out of your mind. How many touch downs have we seen where they don't drop it at the goal line, they don't black out? How many touch downs did this guy- I'm just saying that this guy- I think you lose your mind. What do you think this guy has a score of touch downs?

00:27:19

What do you think this guy has a score of touch downs? To drop a ball before you go to the goal line.

00:27:21

In college, probably had a thousand touch downs in high school. You don't think- Give me another explanation.

00:27:26

That's my working explanation.

00:27:27

As you black out. He blacked out? All right. Yeah. He should say that. He should say that. I wonder how...

00:27:33

I hate that. Because the other explanation is, I thought it would be fun as I crossed the five to dangle the ball and see how close I could come to losing it while I held on to it. That's the only other explanation.

00:27:44

I guess, guys. That's just him saying. Just do stupid things. You know what? Can I say something in his defense? Even though I hate his guts, I do. I'm not sure they should have overturned that. Honestly, it could have been over the... It seemed pretty close. Just leave it. Why do this to people? We'll just keep it a countdown.

00:27:58

Well, so I didn't even want to watch this game. And there were only four late games, and it was just perfect for the multi-view. I always think it's weird when there's three in the multi-view. And it really wasn't a great- Yeah, it was a blowout. Yeah, it was just like, All right, so I'll keep it on. You have that play. Then Ward, who wasn't good for three plus quarters, and then got really good in the fourth quarter, but he had a bad pick. I don't think the guy caught it. They glossed over that. Oh, interesting. He caught it, he rolled over, and then he just threw the ball in the air. I have no idea what it is, as we talk about every week. I don't know what's a catch, what's not. I guess it was a catch. But then we ended up reenacting the Dave Casper Raiders' play, which was one of the great plays of our childhood. It was like one of the first great gambling moments. I forget. They're playing the Chargers, maybe. And then it's the last play, and he's about to get tackled, and he just fumbles it, and they just start kicking it forward, and then the Raiders land on it in the end zone because they cheated all the time at everything back then.

00:28:59

And they had to change the rules after that play. They changed the rules. That you couldn't do that. And yet somehow the Titans did it today.

00:29:06

Right. And yeah, like I said, disgusting, kicking it over. So I'm just trying to figure out the spread, right? So the eight and a half. 21: 06. D. Mccardo should score. It should be 28: 06.

00:29:19

The game is over. They don't cover. Yeah.

00:29:21

Definitely not losing the game at that point, right? I don't think they're-95 % covering at that point.

00:29:27

Yeah, you would need the two touch downs. Well, the other thing is they score and they cut it. It was to nine with the extra point coming. Instead of going for two, they went for one and missed the extra point.

00:29:39

Right. Which made me think I actually had a chance.

00:29:41

Arizona was still Arizona minus nine. They did a little dick tease for the Arizona bet. No, we're still going to fuck this up for you.

00:29:48

I had a bunch of those Dick Tees with Cincinnati, too, I had them. I just got to stop with bad teams and bad quarterbacks. Just the worst.

00:29:56

As you know, I just would never put Kyla the marina tease or parlay ever. It's one of my rules. Although another one of my rules is don't bet on the Europe game, and I still continue to do that.

00:30:07

Not early enough.

00:30:08

So did you see that clip where it's possible he got a mild concussion from the shotgun snap?

00:30:13

Yeah. The ball had him. You can't really even make this up anymore.

00:30:17

He got his belt. It almost was like Tim Anderson, Jose Ramirez, did one of those, and they had to take him off. That was another thing that happened in this game. But we mentioned all these things. The highlight of the game.

00:30:31

Yeah, go ahead.

00:30:32

The highlight. It was Spiro Dittas and Adam Archaleta are our announcers. Tennessee has the ball. They're down to and they're driving, and they're clearly just settling for a field goal to win the game. And Spiro goes, Tennessee isn't thinking about the field goal. They're going for the win. It's like, well, field goal does get them win-win. So I think Adam Archaleta feels bad. So now they're setting up the field goal and they're killing time. Adam Archaleta does this monolog that includes the sentence, This could be a devastating loss for the Arizona Cardos. Oh, really, Doc? You think so? You think being up 21-6 and then drop it the ball on the goal line and then blowing a giant lead and then losing at home, and now you're two and three. You think that was a devastating one?

00:31:21

. He felt bad for Spiro. I think he felt bad for Spiro. He went up them there. Interesting.

00:31:27

Yeah, the producer was in his earpiece like, Yo, you got to say something dumb. Spiro just really blew it right there. You got to went up.

00:31:34

Listen, we should just be thankful these analysts are staying out of prison. If they can't make sense, whatever.

00:31:41

I don't even know what to say about that story.

00:31:44

Yikes.

00:31:44

Anyway, Arizona, you liked. You picked them to win the division?

00:31:50

Yeah, I did. I did. And I was about to say- I don't think that's going to happen. They're going to be the worst three and two team of all time. But now they're two and three, and they're just the worst two and three team of all They are who we thought they were.

00:32:01

I had an up and down over-unders for the win totals. I have a division that I think I'm going to get every single team run. Every team run? Yeah. I went 0 for 4 in the ANFC South. I had Indy, seven and a half under, Houston, nine and a half over. Jacksonville, seven and a half. I think I went under on them. And then Tennessee, five and a half over. I think it's going to be a clean sweep. And there are some other divisions I nailed, but it was like, wow, I just did not figure out anything that was happening.

00:32:31

As laughable as those teams are, if Jacksonville beats Kansas City tomorrow, the AFC South might be the most competitive division, might I say, in this AFC?

00:32:42

I texted you and Hinch today. I think they switched bodies with the AFC North.

00:32:46

Right. Although now New England is back in.

00:32:49

No, the AFC North, not the East. Yeah. The Baltimore, Cincy, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, that's the new AFC South. Those teams all suck.

00:32:56

I'm with you.

00:32:57

Nine and eight is probably going to win that. Pittsburgh fans are going to be like, No, We don't suck. We're really good. No, you're not. They'll be good. You don't have a good team. All right. Eagles, Broncos. Let's talk about that. 17-3, Denver comes back. I know Romo is your guy. I'm just going to be mildly critical because we just- What happened?

00:33:16

He's right over my shoulder here. Be careful.

00:33:18

Romo and Nance were asleep. It's 17: 03. Denver, all the yardage in the first downs were pretty even, and Nicks missed a couple throws, and they're like, the game's over for them. Even when it was 17: 10, and then all of a sudden, Denver's driving again, and Romo's like, Jim, I don't know. All of a sudden, this is a game. It's been a game the whole time. The Eagles have done Jack shit on offense. The Denver defense has been amazing. This has always been a game. Can I defend them for a second? Yeah, defend them. Go ahead.

00:33:48

The Eagles put them to sleep. They're boring. We said they were boring. Offensively.

00:33:53

Who did the sleeper hold, Adrian Adonis?

00:33:55

Adonis did it.

00:33:56

Who's the number one sleeper holder?

00:33:57

Who's the number one sleeper holder? Ryan Piper, over my other shoulder.

00:33:59

Who's our number sleeper guy. Was it Adonis?

00:34:02

Yeah, Roddy Piper and Adonis.

00:34:04

Philly's the Adrian Adonis. Yeah. That's it. He's dead. They can't invite him to a game. That's true.

00:34:11

He'd be good on the offensive line. You're going to get a well-liked lockerer guy, Adrian Adonis. No.

00:34:17

From House Kitchen. A lot of bad stories about him.

00:34:20

Lots of leather jackets, bad health kitchen, fights in the locker room.

00:34:24

Fights in the locker room, like a legendary locker room fight. I can't remember with who he got his ass kick.

00:34:28

Wasn't boring.

00:34:29

Wasn't boring Boring. Eagles are boring.

00:34:31

Yeah, very boring. And they got screwed a little bit. I don't care because of the egos, but that was a bad, unnecessary roughness call at the end. He's going for another yard. He's clearly going for lunging. And so I don't know. I wouldn't have called that, but they should be able to hold a lead against Bo Nicks. Made some good throws, but that was it. But like I said, that's the Denver team we were waiting to see all year.

00:34:55

Well, so they got the running game going, which started on Monday night. You could see it against Cincinnati. Harvey, right as they were just trying to put a drive together, Harvey had a really nice run around the right side where they had him, and he just had the speed and got around, and it felt like it got them a little juice. And then I thought Nicks finally looked like the guy from last year, the last hour of the game. He made some big ass plays and some good runs. Their sideline was locked in, and I loved when they went for two. That's the perfect example of he's been talking since the summer, preseason, whole thing. I like this team. I think we're really good. Even when they lost those two games, we're good. We lost a good team. We're a good team. And then he proved it. He went for it on two, ran a great play, and then went 18-17.

00:35:41

I don't remember seeing that. Wasn't it seven minutes left when he went for two? Or was it four? No, it was like half the quarter left.

00:35:48

Yeah, halfway through the quarter.

00:35:49

Yeah, that was ballsy. Yeah, like that coach, man. He's good. And now we're going to talk Denver all of a sudden plus 290 to win the AFC West. We flip flop on this a lot. Well, how about this?

00:36:02

They're three and two. They're two players away from being five and oh. Their next five, they're playing the Jets in London next week. They're playing the Giants in week seven. They're playing your Cowboys in Denver in week eight. At Houston, week nine, and then Raiders on Thursday night, week 10. That's at least four and one. Wow. Unless they really screw the pooch on one of those.

00:36:23

Wait a minute.

00:36:24

And Pete Carroll might have just retired by then.

00:36:26

So you think this... He should hope that.

00:36:29

He might I'm going to just be like him and Belichick should just go into the assisted living together.

00:36:34

So nine and a half wins because Fandle's great with these updated win totals is minus 125. They're going to get to 10. If they play anything there today, they'll get to 10.

00:36:46

Jets Giants, that has to be two wins in a row. You just have to win both of those. I think your team can move the ball, it seems like, on anybody. I don't know. It doesn't really matter who the team is. You don't agree?

00:37:00

Yeah, we can. I just that defense is going to show up or not show up week to week, so it bothers me.

00:37:06

At Houston Week 9, there was a CJ Stroud resurgence today that I would just tell everyone, be careful. It's going against that ravage Baltimore team.

00:37:15

He was telling us, be careful. What did he say earlier in the week? He's like, I feel like an old man. I feel old. It's just not coming together.

00:37:21

Yeah, I can't move the way I used to. He was 23.

00:37:23

He used to. Four months ago.

00:37:27

One thing on the Eagles, have you I noticed that they've assumed the identity of the Chiefs last year. I was wondering if it was like that movie It Follows in New Orleans in February after they beat the Chiefs. They just took their being.

00:37:40

Interesting.

00:37:41

Where it's like, they're just in these games, but it doesn't feel right, but their record's good and their stats are okay. They're always one play away from being fine. And yet it just doesn't seem like everything's right. And I don't even know what it is other than the malaise of watching the Eagles.

00:38:01

Yeah, they're taking the worst- I know their corners are weird. All the good teams because the Ravens used to be the team that could score but not hold a lead, right? How many double-digit leads did they blow in the fourth quarter? It's always a Harba number against them. I feel like that's what we're seeing out of the Eagles, up big against Tampa and then gigantic plays, and Tampa is right back in it, right? This week, same thing. So unlike the Chiefs who struggle to get to 17 points by the fourth quarter, for the most part, This week, I don't know what's up with them. I really don't.

00:38:32

Paying a lot of money for those receivers that they seem to just take out for a Sunday drive, and that's it. And then Barkley just hasn't done anything yet. And the Pats in '04, when they got the Cory Dylan, the last Super Bowl they won in the 2000s, they got this awesome Cory Dylan year, and he was rejuvenated, and it was great. Then they brought him back for the year after, and it was a year too late for him. I don't think that's the case for Barkley because he's pretty young, but he does not look like the Barkley from last year. So I would love to know. I know the offensive line is not the same. That's it, I think. But it doesn't even feel like they're using him in the same way as on those little flare passes and wheel routes. I don't know. They just haven't unlocked him. So when I watch them, he just doesn't jump out of the TV anymore, and I don't really understand why.

00:39:19

No. Because he seems happy. You pay a lot for that TV. That's like a $30,000 TV. If you want him to jump out of the screen, he should be able to do it. No, he caught that, that that shutdown. That was a It was a bubble pass. Wasn't that much? No, I don't know. No.

00:39:32

That's what you're thinking of our cousin.

00:39:34

That's right. Craziness. Yeah, he caught that shutdown pass, but you don't really expect... You don't see the 25-year-old run.

00:39:42

The countdown pass is a good example. That shit was happening all the time. He would have games last year where he just single him and he won the game. Yeah, sure. And that really happened in this year. The other one that was really fascinating was Buc Seahawks.

00:39:55

Yeah.

00:39:56

And we were texting afterwards, and I was already on it about Baker MVP. What is it now? Did it go down? It was 13 to one after the game. I'll set this segment up properly after. It's still 13 to one. Still 13 to one. Okay. So in the fourth quarter of that Buc Seahawks game, I went on Fando and looked at the odds for him for MVP, and it was still 15 to one. I was thinking, nobody has played better than him this year, period. No doubt. And it was weird because, of course, on NBC after they're talking about Dak and somebody else, they're like, no, quarterbacks have played better than these dudes. You mean other than Baker Mayfield, who has four last minute drives already and who's been absolutely fucking incredible and lost Bucky Irvin and lost Mike Evans and didn't have Wurfs and Godwin for the first couple of games of the year. And just every game keeps them in and has this competitive spirit. He's clearly the MVP through five games. I don't know if it's going to last, but how is he not... It's not even an argument.

00:40:58

Let me just say, we're doing this live. This line is going to be plus 850 tomorrow based on this conversation. That's how much I believe. I'm not kidding. Why is he fourth? First of all, Mahomes is ahead of him at 6: 00.

00:41:10

He's got Josh Allen, Mahomes, and Love ahead of him. It's outrageous. He's playing so much better than those guys. And Allen's been good, but not as good as Mayfield.

00:41:19

And he's so exciting. He's such a highlight reel. I mean, I know Allen is, too. He runs all over the place. But what was Baker today? First quarterback ever to have 375 plus passing yards and fewer than five incompletions in a regular season game. He's just really... This is nonsensical. I guess our thing is that you have to be a top two seed. Why wouldn't they be a top two seed at this point? I like their chances of being in the packers at this point.

00:41:44

Well, the fact that they're four and one already, could they get to 12 and five? Yeah, that 13 to one is just... I mean, Stafford is 14 to one. Who's having a better year, Baker or Stafford? I'll tell you this. I had Seattle minus three. It was a roller coaster ride. And at some point, they took a seven-point lead down the stretch, and they just had to get a stop, which they hadn't done for two hours because they had no defensive backs left. Our guy, Mike McDonald, finally grew a pair and went for it on a fourth and two and got it for a countdown, which he should have done two other games this year. He finally gets it, at least. But Baker got the ball, and I was just like, he's going to go down and score. How many quarterbacks in the league right now would just be like, that fucking guy is going to go down and score? I know it's going to happen. And he just took them down. He basically one receiver, a tight end. Shad White, who's a backup running back, will look good today. But he just patched it together and just made plays.

00:42:42

Can I say something in Sack? Just because I bet them to make the Super Bowl, I think we should put Tampa Bay in the Super Bowl because they're the most entertaining team right now. For the Super Bowl, we get the most entertaining halftime show, right? We don't necessarily get the best. Otherwise, we'd have Ball McCartney every year. Same thing with the Anthem. Let's just put them. We can play the games as long as we come to an understanding that the Bucks are going to be in the Super Bowl. I mean, he's great. He shouldn't be fourth and MVP. He should be at worst, second.

00:43:10

He'll be eight to one tomorrow. It's an insulting line. I'm with you. If we're handing out awards after five weeks, he clearly gets the most fun player of the 2025 season so far award. I don't think there's any question. And this connection he already has with Agbuka, who everybody loved before the season. We talked about him a bunch, and he's even better than I thought he was going to be. He was absolutely unbelievable. He was open over and over again, just torching these Seahawks second stringers. That was a tough one. Then on the flip side, Darnold was great. And at the same time as Gino was self-combusting yet again, and then it ends up he throws a pass that skids off someone's helmet. It's the game-ending interception, basically.

00:43:58

For less money than Gino. Yeah, they were 49 for 56 combined. They had scored touch downs on seven straight drives. Halfway through the fourth quarter, I think both teams averaged 12 yards of play or 12 and 10 or something like that. I don't love every game to be like that, but definitely a Baker Mayfield game is fun to watch like that.

00:44:18

Certainly not a game I was expecting from the Seahawks.

00:44:20

No.

00:44:21

I thought I was a big believer in their defense, but they just passed the point of injuries.

00:44:27

You spill your water?

00:44:29

I I was looking to see where we were on time because we're going to... Well, I'll do a couple of games really quick. Washington over the chargers. Chargers are up 10-0, then they die. Their offensive line is gone, and it seems like they might have been the Rabbit team. I just feel like Denver and the chargers have switched.

00:44:47

They have.

00:44:48

Switched spots in the hierarchy, and to no fault of the chargers because of the injuries, right?

00:44:54

We should have known. As soon as this game, when they wouldn't make this game three, it was two and a half. Two weeks ago, we were all saying, Oh, Chargers, the toast of the AFC West, they're going to run away with it and everything. Yeah, 10. Washington's banged up, even with Jaden Daniels coming back. It was totally rat line. But he was like 12 for 14 in the first half. Yeah, I guess they were up 10, nothing. Then they just, nothing. Nothing at all out of them. Eventually, the line gave up.

00:45:18

Lines kill the bangles. I think we can officially say maybe losing Aaron Glenn and Ben Johnson was an unequivocal disaster. They're going to be all right. They seem okay. Cincinnati is two and three still. The last three weeks, they've been down in games 28 to three, 28 to three, and 48 to three in the last three weeks. They've been on 25, 25, and Pretty rough.

00:45:45

Why were they my best bet today? I don't know. No idea. Then that cock tease at the end.

00:45:51

There were a lot of gambling trends supporting Cincinnati plus 10 and a half. That big of a home dog, them coming off a huge Huge loss. Detroit as a road.

00:46:02

What do they care? Outdoor game. Even the worst teams don't get blown out by the spread three weeks in a row. Browning. Are we going to rank these things? What are we doing?

00:46:11

We're doing it after the break. Is Joe Burrow a possible MVP candidate for you, Stowe? We do this sometimes. If a guy leaves the team and they immediately fall down by 100 points combined in the next three games, should he get some votes?

00:46:25

I was going to flip it. The answer is yes. He should be ahead of Jordan Love, I think at least. But what is his injury? Would they be much worse off with him in there right now than Jake Browning?

00:46:37

Joe Burrow in a foot cast?

00:46:39

Yeah, just put him in. With a walker? Sure. Yeah. He wouldn't throw four interceptions.

00:46:44

He'd be the first guy to start an NFL game, but then also be allowed to board an airplane early. When they bring in the old people and the people on crutches. I like it.

00:46:53

Bring them in.

00:46:54

Saints over Giants, the game that you regret winning in January. When you look back and you're like, why do we have the fourth pick? We won that fucking Giants game and Skatebo fumbled.

00:47:06

Skatebo was blaming his gloves like my 12-year-old does in Little League Base. It's the gloves. I need new gloves. That's why I've struck out three times in a row.

00:47:18

This was the classic there wasn't enough to gamble on today. I never, ever put two bad teams in a parlay. A Sunday morning classic, I really think the Saints are going to win. I really think the Jets are going to win. I'll put those two with the Colts, and it's like 4 to 1 odds on a parlay. I'm just going to jump all over that. And then you're like, What did I do? You're just watching Justin Fields rolling to his right and whipping it out of bounds. You're like, what did I do? I know the rules at this point. Don't do this.

00:47:53

But five turnovers for the Giants, they should still be to beat the Saints, but that was a clinic they put on today.

00:48:04

Panthers over Dolphins. A big one for all my Dolphins futures. I really needed them to lose this one for the 19 different Dolphins win under bets. But Carolina has somehow won two of their last three and then gotten blown out in the other game. Bryce Young, he can't get going until he's down 17, it seems like. It's like the boxer that needs to taste their own blood. He just needs to see Andy Dalton potentially warming up, and then he activates. They ended up with 418 total yards and 26 first downs.

00:48:40

That was a fun game. I don't know if you had the audio on. Actually, it was. They have this, Collins is the play-by-play guy, and he made it like it was the last Super Bowl ever. I saw that close to this, the basketball guy. Yeah, he's our friend Alex was like, Yeah, that's the Hornets guy. That's our guy. I was like, That's great. It was him and Schlarith, I think. Yeah, that was a very exciting game, even though you knew that The Dolphins were going to blow it. They are really something else.

00:49:02

Something about two in the last two minutes of these games. I don't see them getting a six wins for any reason. Then the last one, the Texans killing the Ravens that we talked about C. They're always sucking us in. But the Ravens down one and four, and it seems like they rest Lamar next week, then they have a buy. So they might be one and five heading into the buy and then maybe try to make a run. But I was looking at the year from health teams the last three years because I couldn't remember who was who. The 2024 Niners, they had gone 12 and five. They were six and 11 last year, so they were the year from health team. A bunch of injuries. 2023 Vikings, that was the cousins. Achilles, they were 13 and 4, dropped to seven and 10 that year. Then the Rams, the year after the Super Bowl in '22, they went from 12 and '5 to '5 and '12. They had all their entries.

00:49:51

The Bengals aren't on there? The bangles, they never came off.

00:49:56

Part of the year from hell is, yeah, you had to have been really good the year before.

00:49:59

They were okay after their Super Bowl year? I guess it was two years after that then.

00:50:02

No, they were okay. Those were the last ones. So this officially feels like we're on a streak.

00:50:09

Well, it's awful with Baltimore. Not even in a joking way, they lost a former player this week. It just seems like it's all freaking fallen apart from them.

00:50:18

Yeah.

00:50:19

And Derrick Henry- Injuries all over defense. Yeah. Now, bringing it back to nonsense. If you got Derrick Henry and Jamar Chase and all these studs with the these weird old quarterbacks. I don't know.

00:50:32

It's tough. Vikings, Browns. A 6: 30 stink fest for us in the Pacific here. You came back. When did you come back? Yesterday? I was back Saturday. From Brooklyn? Mm-hmm. I'm excited to talk about that. We have Carson Wentz versus Dylan Gabriel. I honestly didn't think Dylan Gabriel was that bad. He's at least accurate. He's tiny. Passes will get deflected. I won't be told my grandkids about him, but he's fairly competent. And it made me think with all the bad QBs we saw today, we had to have a bad QB fantasy draft, which we did last year. When there's a week like this where there's so many of them, we just have to, for posterity, rank them. So I'll give you the first pick. Worst quarterback you saw today.

00:51:13

Yeah, and I don't want to insult anyone on this list because if you don't win this week, there's always... There are about a dozen. Prove us wrong. Yeah. Mariotto of fields. It could be your week next week when we do this. But all right, I'm going to go for it here. And I know he came back and maybe covered on a teaser or something for Cincinnati. But I think it's the guy who you and I jinked just four weeks ago by naming him the best backup in the league. Yes, we did. Taking Jake Browning. He had eight interceptions in four games and didn't even have one in the 28-3 game that he lost. But here's a stat you can't beat. I think we threw this around on a text chain. At one point, Jamar Chase led the bangles with three tackles, and that means your quarterback is the worst in the league. So Congratulations.

00:52:00

What an unbelievable stat.

00:52:01

Yeah.

00:52:02

Yeah. Yeah, there's two other things. It really jumps out on the multi-view and the ability to watch all these games. The reaction of somebody after an interception. It's like that final when somebody He was just in a slump as a QB and it's just like, I don't know, my girlfriend just broke up with me body language. You just feel like their vertebrate are sinking into their body. He had that once. And then the receiver Divers. Chase was like, I'm fucking done with this. He had that body language going by the... There was nobody more unhappy to get yards than he was in the second half. He was like, Get me the fuck out of here.

00:52:43

I'll add to that. That look that Chase gives, that means all week it sucks. That means, yeah, I knew it in practice. If you're a little stunned, oh, man, we were completing this. You know what I mean? But he gave that look like, yeah, this is an everyday occurrence.

00:52:58

It's got to be brutal to be in that situation as the QB when... He was good as the backup. He's clearly lost a little something. But now you have this pressure. You have Chase and Higgins. You don't have an offensive line. You're not playing well. There's no backup. There's nobody threatening you, and you just can't get it going. It's a very good choice. I had to take Gino Smith. It just seems like it's over. He has nine interceptions already in five games, and there's a storied list of people who have done this, and it's all some of the worst quarterbacks you can remember from the last 30 years. The Raiders, of course, about a couple of them. I can't believe how bad he's been. And he's been bad beyond the interceptions. We talked about that week two Monday night game against the Chargers when he was just sailing the ball over the place. We were joking about his eyesight last week. They gave him $75 million for two years. They gave up a third-round pick for him, and he's worse than the guys they had last year. If they had... I was looking at who they had last year, it was maybe two years ago.

00:54:06

Oh, here it is. It was O'Neill, Minchou, and Ritter. 19 TDs, 16 interceptions. Gino's 6 TDs, 9 interceptions right now. Not to mention all the other stuff.

00:54:19

And he won his first game. Yeah, this is all last three, four years.

00:54:22

And he looked pretty good against the pats. He was making big passes. In '23, they had O'Neill, Jimmy G, and Hoyer. They were 16 and 19 that year, 16 TDs, 19 picks. But those are the last three years of the Rater QB. If you go through the Raters on pro football reference, car comes in, they draft him, and they get nine years out of Karr that are fine. He made the play-offs that one year. It was pretty up and down, a couple of bad years. But for the most part, it was like, okay. It was like a C plus.

00:54:52

It was one year, week 14, he was tops at MVP odds, I remember. And then he got hurt or something. But yeah, I know.

00:54:58

He was, okay. But then you go before that. They had Carson Palmer for two years. They had Marcus Russell. They had that guy, Andrew Walter. You just go through. It's like, Oh, I forgot about that guy. Whoa, I forgot about that guy. They have a million of those. And Gino is supposed to solve it.

00:55:17

And now, he have a million and one. Yeah, he threw some balls today that not only should a 13-year vet not know to throw. Anyone who's ever watched football, anyone who's ever watched a friend play Madden shouldn't make some of those throws. And I can't believe he was in at the end. Even the Colts took out, even the Colts put Richards in it.

00:55:37

That was amazing. I loved when Richardson came in and they cut to... He almost had a fumble or he had a pass, deflected, he caught it. And then it cut to Danny Dimes on the headset, just laughing.

00:55:48

You may not be done, Dimes. They thought we were competing. He may have to come back in.

00:55:53

Yeah, I wrote down... So the Raiders are one and four. I wrote down, turns out mid '70s, Pete Carroll A washed-up Chip Kelly, a multitasking Tom braided, and apparently washed-up Gino Smith and the son of Al Davis. We're not the dream team in retrospect. Of course, I picked them to be the seventh seed in the playoff, so I have some regrets. It was them, Jacksonville, or Indiana, or Indianapolis, and it looks like the other two.

00:56:20

All the talk about, 'braided shouldn't be allowed in the booth. He can't be interviewing these players. He can't do this. He's going to get inside every... ' Yeah, it doesn't matter. Gino Smith is your quarterback. It doesn't make a goddamn difference.

00:56:29

I think braided solves the debate. They're fucking terrible. What inside information is he getting?

00:56:33

He should say something tomorrow. He should be like, I hope this puts an end to all the talk about my cheating and my infiltration of these interviews.

00:56:42

If I wasn't getting all this inside information, we wouldn't be one and four. Yeah, right. So Gino has the most interceptions in his first five games since Zack Wilson in 2021.

00:56:56

Nice.

00:56:57

That is rarefied air.

00:56:59

Yeah. Not good. Not good at all.

00:57:02

Okay. So I'm taking Gino second. You're up next.

00:57:06

Oh, we're not doing the two. You don't get two? Okay.

00:57:08

Oh, you want me to do two? No, you can go. Let's go back and forth. You go. All right.

00:57:13

I'm going to My guy, it doesn't have to be someone played today because I'm going to say Joe- No, it has to be- It doesn't have to be someone today?

00:57:21

No, it has to be somebody that played today. Yeah, Joe Mellon didn't play.

00:57:23

Yeah, but he did knock over a fan in his yard for the past.

00:57:26

I did see that. He didn't count that.

00:57:27

I think Cooper Rush. I don't think it gets much worse Honestly, he was a good backup for the Cowboys, and he can win games, but no more. No, not even confident in his checkdowns anymore. You talked about Dylan Gabriel. At least he gets the ball out fast for his checkdowns. We're going to see that for a rookie. Cooper Rush, it's over. Sorry. You have decent receivers. You have Derrick Henry. You should move the ball better than you did.

00:57:51

Yeah, the thing with Gabriel, he wasn't like, I'll be telling my grandkids about him, but at least he was throwing nine-yard passes to players in spots where they could catch the ball, which, sadly, is passing for competence in 2025.

00:58:08

It looked like he practices. Yeah.

00:58:10

That was a nice... He said, tight end really enjoyed being able to catch the ball right in front of his helmet like that. I'm taking Justin Fields. The Owen 26, I think, is one of the craziest records. I just can't believe that if you're rooting for Justin Fields and you have this invisible thing for the where it's like, Man, if they get to 21, the game's now over. I've never seen anything like that. But the thing is, he'll always have two, three plays that make you not want to give up on him yet. And he'll be like, 38. I'm like, See that scramble? I don't know.

00:58:47

Right. Yeah, the 40-yard run goes a long way in keeping him out of the basement for this draft, right? Yeah.

00:58:55

Who do you have?

00:58:56

I'm with you. All right. You're fifth pick. You know what? I'm going to say Kam Ward right now.

00:59:02

I had him next.

00:59:03

He did. Yeah. Entering this week, the Titans had three touch downs after a month of football, offensive touch downs. And really, the only reason they won today was because a fumble was kicked around and some idiot dropped the ball at the goal line. So maybe he'll get it together. But right now, he's got to be high on this list. The good news is Kam Ward versus Gino Smith. We got to bet on that game next week. That's his Sunday coming up. Jesus. Yeah.

00:59:28

He had a good last 40 of the game. He actually started making some plays, but he was the first two plus hours was bad. I'm taking Briceet with my next pick just because he played. He came in and immediately threw a pass that the tight end blew his knee out trying to catch. And not to laugh at that, but it was just like classic.

00:59:47

Shouldn't be helping the team doctor out for sure.

00:59:50

They didn't score for the moments he was in there. But it was just I got flashbacks to when he was the Patriots quarterback last year. Who do you have next? I have five guys left on the board. It's getting interesting here.

01:00:01

Wow. All right. I have Arch Manning because I don't think- That's a wrong podcast. I'll save that for Tate on Tuesday. Do I have to take Jackson Dart over Spencer Rattler at this point because he won?

01:00:17

I don't know. I didn't have Jackson Dart in this spot.

01:00:20

Interesting. All right. I'm going to go Rattler, even though he won and he can't get to the Sean Kaiser's source A trophy. Rattler, he got a W. Torsay Trophy. That's all right. He's one in 10 now, but he still has to be on this list.

01:00:31

He's Kaiser's off the hook. He gets to keep his record. I don't think Rattler's awful.

01:00:37

Okay.

01:00:38

Well, we're getting to the- Do you think he's awful? He actually can make some plays. Yeah, I think they're done well. I don't trust him. That's it.

01:00:46

That's it for them.

01:00:48

I have Bryce Young next, only because he's fallen behind over and over again. There's been four times this season where there was a 10-minute stretch of people online or Panther fans being like, That's probably it for Bryce Young. He's never going to start another NFL game. And then he just does The undertaker. All of a sudden, he's up again and he's rejuvenated. But the Dolphins are really bad. I don't really see it with Bryce, unfortunately.

01:01:21

You probably don't have this guy on the list, but I'm going to say Carson Wentz. I had him on my list. Maybe because it was early in the morning and I wanted to be entertained more. But I I think a good way to do this list is, how about this? If you find out they're injured, are you okay with the backup coming in? And when Carson Wentz went out around halftime, I'm like, oh, what does this Brosmer guy look like, the backup for the Vikings? University of Minnesota quarterback that no one cared about in the draft. So if your guy gets injured, you say, Let's see what you got. Let's see what's next. I think that's it. And Carson Wents, I don't want to cut him too much slack. He's got Justin Jefferson. He's got Addison. He's got great receivers and should move the ball better against the Browns. I know they won, but come on.

01:02:05

I don't know who the announcers were today because I was barely awake. But at one point, I forget who... Somebody who was above with the Eagles or something. Who was involved? Oh, Jim Schwartz. Yeah. And he was like, Jim, we were talking to Jim Schwartz this week, and Jim Schwartz said they would have won the Super Bowl with Wentz. That year, he got hurt. That's how good he was. They would have won the Super Bowl with him. Do people actually believe this?

01:02:31

I don't know. Nick Fowles left his body for three weeks.

01:02:38

I don't know if Wentz would have done that. I don't know what... We'll never understand what happened with nick Folls, but he did. I would have liked my chances.

01:02:44

Is Jim Schwartz a defensive guy? Yeah.

01:02:48

I think he was just being nice. Can I take Brosmer here?

01:02:51

Yeah, if you want.

01:02:53

Is there a first name for him?

01:02:55

I don't think he... They're not going to release it until week nine.

01:03:00

He's just Brosmer? He's like Kramer?

01:03:02

Yeah, he's Brosmer.

01:03:03

It's a great entrance. I'm taking him next. All right, two pics left.

01:03:07

All right, I'm going to say Anthony Richardson. Just the side of him got me sick. I know he didn't do much or anything or hurt his team, and he played for a winner, but I have to put him on that list.

01:03:19

I actually had a thought. The most fun outcome is the Raiders trading for him, right? Oh, that's good. It's like the perfect storm of everything, right? The Raider, Gino, they come up with some fake injury for Gino. Maybe he's hurt. He had a rotator cough we didn't realize. But we've acquired Anthony Richardson for a fifth rounder. Brady's going to mentor him. Brady's going to get information from his coach meetings when he has coffees with coaches, and they give him the entire game plan for the week so he can say nothing when he does the telecast.

01:03:51

I like that. They get him on the cheap AR-15 going to the Raiders. Yeah, it all makes sense.

01:03:56

Gunslinger. Al Davis would have loved this guy. He's like Darryl LaMonica.

01:04:01

Yeah.

01:04:02

So Tua and Gabriel are still on the board. And Gabriel is not better than Tua. As much as I would love to do it for the content. I have to take Gabriel here and leave Tua to you as the last pick.

01:04:21

Well, all right. Maybe we button this up with...

01:04:26

Tua has to be drafted.

01:04:28

Yeah, because I have Kyler here, too. Honestly, are you sure Kyler is better than Tua at this point? I mean, how many games like this are we going to see? He has to do better than 220 and 25 yards rushing versus the worst team.

01:04:43

So you're taking Kyler, I'll take Tua. Okay. There you go. Listen, that's a great case. I will say this. If they had announced during the game, if they had stopped the ball after he almost got concussed by the shotgun snap that he didn't see, and they stopped it and they're like, Congratulations to Tyler Murray, who had this shotgun snap, inexplicably hit his head when he wasn't looking for the 37th time. It's an NFL career high. I actually would have believed that. That happens to him eight times a year. Is any quarterback ever more surprised by shotgun snaps?

01:05:19

I like it. Another guy doesn't practice. Nobody knows the ball's coming. Yeah, that was a Looney tunes episode. That really was. Drop ball, goal lines, snaps at to the facemask. Stupid team.

01:05:33

Do Arizona and Carolina play this year? I'm going to look this up because that's our perfect match. Oh, they already played.

01:05:43

They played.

01:05:43

Yeah, that was the game. I'm making my own point already because it already happened. Because I was going to say the perfect game would be Kyla Murray versus Bryce Young because they would take an early lead and then Bryce Young would make a late comeback. And that's actually what happened in week two.

01:05:55

That's when Arizona wins, right? Yeah.

01:05:58

All right. So your team was your bad QB fantasy draft. You had Browning, Rush, Ward, Rattler, Wentz, Richardson, and Kyler. I had Geno, Fields, Brissette, Bryce, Brosmer, Bob Brosmer.

01:06:15

Bobby Brosmer.

01:06:16

Bobby Brosmer. Brian Brosmer. Gabriel Intua. It's a couple of lefties.

01:06:27

I don't know who's team is better. Jackson Dark goes unscathed. Keith. Good for you.

01:06:32

He should go and say it. He's not bad. I think he's better than everyone we just mentioned. Would you rather have Jackson Dart than any of those guys?

01:06:38

It's fine. It's just some of these teams are going to end up with two and three wins, and I couldn't even tell you which is which.

01:06:44

There's some really bad ones. Right now, we have seven one-win teams and a winless team. We have eight teams that are one and four on five. All right, let's go to Guest Alliance. Week 6, Eagles Giants. We get to watch Jackson Jart. By the way, you won the first two weeks. I won the last three. People think I'm cheating again. I'm back, baby.

01:07:09

Well, let me just say something because you're going to think I'm cheating, but I got the Thursday night game exactly, and I got the Sunday game, the first two we go over, the Europe game. So this is not how I would cheat. I would cover it up a little better, but go ahead.

01:07:23

Okay. Egle's at the Giants. I have the EGLEs by seven and a half.

01:07:28

That's it. All right, we tie. It is seven and a half. Oh, okay. See how you blocked me there?

01:07:36

Yeah, I looked at six and a half, seven, and seven and a half, and I tried all three. Six and a half felt too late. Seven, it just felt like a seven and a half. But I also wouldn't have been surprised if you had told me it was nine and a half because the Thursday night with what we saw from the.

01:07:53

Well, we have to be scared a little when we put them on a teaser because they're not going to lose two games in a row.

01:07:57

This is a seven-point tease, I think.

01:07:59

Yeah, I'm with you.

01:08:01

So I think the move is you grab the Chiefs tomorrow, seven-point tease with them, with the Eagles, and then a third team.

01:08:08

Oh, really? All right. Well, let's go through these because you might just see them clearly here.

01:08:13

London game. I had no idea what to do with this. Broncos, Jets. By the way, poor London. Why do we do this to them?

01:08:26

It's a war crime. Some of these quarterbacks, we throw their way.

01:08:29

I Is the goal for London, we just make money because they'll go watch anything? Because if the goal is to try to get them to love professional football and become real fans of the sport, we're sending them the worst teams over and over again. Are these teams you would never want to watch? And are these 21 to 17, these shitty games? Why don't we send real people over there? Real people? Send them like Josh Allen versus Patrick Mahomes or just one game where they'll be like, whoa.

01:08:57

Yeah. If we're going to have three or four in London or whatever, one of them needs to be decent, right?

01:09:02

We gave them the Vikings twice.

01:09:04

Yeah. If it was Patriots bills, that would have been fine for Sunday morning. I'm with you.

01:09:12

I wrote down Broncos minus seven. I think that might be low. Jesus.

01:09:17

I picked two exactly, and I can't gain any ground on you?

01:09:21

Seven. Seven?

01:09:22

Yeah. Well, there's your teaser, right?

01:09:27

I don't know if I'm doing the... I I'm 0-2 with the Euro games.

01:09:31

Today, I did a Browns Money Line Under with the Colts, and I felt great about it.

01:09:41

And then the Browns didn't win.

01:09:43

The Browns Money Line Under.

01:09:46

The Browns Money Line with the Under in the Browns game with the Colts Money Line. I did that as a parlay.

01:09:51

Why did you like the Browns so much?

01:09:54

Because the Vikings had no offensive line. I just thought their defense was going to win it by themselves.

01:09:58

This is different. Denver should win. Just to win?

01:10:01

Coming off the high of winning in Philly and then losing to Justin Fields in London. Oh, my God. By the way, by 10: 00 on Sunday, the Giants and the Jets could still have one win.

01:10:17

Oh, interesting.

01:10:18

We should really be monitoring this. The Yankees fell behind 2-0 in this Blue Jay series, which I'm just stunned by because I just thought they were going to kill the Blue Jays. Right. This could be in the running for a week from hell for the New York sports. The Yankees get bounced. Embarrassing Thursday night game, embarrassing London game. Yankees are gone. Met season was a disaster. Now everything's like riding on the Knicks. Do you think the Met season wasn't a disaster?

01:10:49

No, I hadn't even thought about it until you mentioned it. Well, could you do the same thing with Philadelphia, though? Eagles lose, Philly lose game one, Penn State. No, but the Eagles lose. Penn State. The state, the UCLA. Yeah, that was bad.

01:11:02

The Eagles fans like this, though. They never want to be too happy. That's true. Now they get to complain all week. They're like, What are we doing? Why don't we use the receiver? What's going on?

01:11:11

God, it's barely been used. They like being angry. Yeah, they're upset.

01:11:14

Yeah, they like it. They're in the right spot. Sunday Marquee game. I couldn't believe this was the Marquee game, but I think this is what it should be. Bucks in Tampa against the San Francisco 49ers, I think is the best game.

01:11:30

Definitely.

01:11:31

I think Tom braided will go to this game and get all a bunch of insight.

01:11:37

Oh, he shouldn't be allowed.

01:11:38

He's going to find out so many things that's going to help the Raiders.

01:11:42

This is the only reason the Raiders are only losing by 25. Five and not 50 because he's got the inside scoop.

01:11:48

A friend of braided was saying that Gino would have 19 interceptions if braided wasn't in these meetings learning things. How's Bucks minus two and a half sound?

01:11:58

Oh, come on. It sounds like you're cheating because now you're three for three with exact lines. That's what it sounds like. I had three. I thought the Bucks should be three.

01:12:06

I haven't seen anything. Buc minus two and a half.

01:12:09

I can't win. Well, I'm throwing a no hitter right now. I have some bad pics, too, coming up. This sucks. Why isn't this three?

01:12:19

I think it ends up at three, right? Well, because we don't know if Purdy's playing or not.

01:12:23

And that's bad or good? I don't know what's- Well, Mac Jones has one leg. It seems to be enough.

01:12:28

I was proud of my guy Mac Jones. I thought he... I always felt like there was... Maybe we overrated him too much in the beginning, but it also really felt like he was just broken by the experience of being on these last Belichick teams. Yeah. Right? And just lost his confidence. Like a little Baker Mayfield. Baker Mayfield got waived. And now we're calling him the MVP. So I don't know, you can lose your confidence.

01:12:55

Yeah, I'm sure I must be just gitty. I mean, this is the guy he wanted at three anyway, right? Yeah.

01:13:03

Watchables. I only have one. Jags Seahawks in Jacksonville.

01:13:12

Yeah.

01:13:13

Pretty good game. Putting in the tic-tac zone. I get the Jags minus one and a half.

01:13:20

I mean, this is unprecedented fucking cheating going on.

01:13:24

I did not cheat. I swear in my kids. Your kids. Did I hit You hit it.

01:13:32

You got four in a row. Four in a row.

01:13:33

Perfectly. Yeah, they should put this on the main page of YouTube right now. Four for four.

01:13:39

This is nuts. All right. I thought Seattle would lay one. I guess- No, they had too many injuries. This could change a lot depending on what goes on.

01:13:47

I thought I was too low on that one.

01:13:49

Yeah, sure you did.

01:13:50

Look at this. They're out on Witherspoon, Durant's out.

01:13:57

Yeah.

01:13:58

Instead of rooting for history, you're as bummed out as this is the shithead who dropped the ball at the goal line. Demarcado. He blacked out. That's what he shouldn't have said in the postgame press conference. I blacked out. I don't remember what happened. Have you guys ever scored a countdown? That's what you should say. Anybody here ever scored a 76-year-old countdown? Yeah, you don't understand what happens. You black out. It's really exciting. I just blacked out. I didn't have enough sugar today.

01:14:25

I think you should say stroke. I say I had a stroke. I had a stroke. And that way you're eligible Comeback Player of the Year next year.

01:14:31

I'm going for an MRI. I might have a stroke. Fairly watchable. Is that five? Now there's some pressure.

01:14:37

What does it matter?

01:14:40

Colts, Cardinals, Indianapolis, All right.

01:14:45

Well, I got this exact. So if you get this, I'm pressing leave meeting and I'm walking the F out of here. Go ahead.

01:14:52

I have it in the Vegas zone. Colts, five and a half.

01:15:01

Wow. Wow. What a run. No one's even gotten three in a row. You have five?

01:15:10

This is the record for us. You know what's funny? I had four and a half Before that Arizona loss, then that bumped at a point.

01:15:18

Let's just do a parent corner. Why do we have to hit the rest of these games?

01:15:21

This is unbelievable. I'm like the Bishop and Caddysheck.

01:15:26

You're still up five, three, because I have three, but that It wasn't enough. You have five.

01:15:31

I'm going to lose this one.

01:15:32

Go ahead.

01:15:33

I don't even know if this is a fairly watchable. It might be a poop one. But Chargers at Miami.

01:15:40

Yeah.

01:15:42

A lot of pressure on this. I have the chargers minus two and a half.

01:15:48

Okay, we tie on this, but neither of us are close to the actual line, which is Chargers by four and a half.

01:15:56

Oh, they put that in the Vegas zone.

01:15:59

That's a One of these teams beats the shit out of the other. I can't remember which it is, but they seem to play every year.

01:16:06

I don't know. What's the weather going to be like in a week? Do we know?

01:16:10

In Miami? I think it'll be okay.

01:16:13

October 12th, Miami weather.

01:16:16

What's going to surprise you? Seventy-eight?

01:16:20

Yeah.

01:16:21

What is it?

01:16:22

It's going to be 83.

01:16:24

Oh, do you get that one, too?

01:16:25

I think that's a massive advantage for- I'll give you an extra one for that. It's going to be 84 on Saturday and 83 on Sunday. I think that's a real advantage for them. I think these teams get tired in the second half. That is a little warmer than I thought. They're baking in the sun.

01:16:39

Right.

01:16:41

Man, that makes me worried for my thoughts.

01:16:43

Wasn't it hot in Carolina today, too? I mean, the Dolphins were terrible, Dan.

01:16:48

Was it? I don't know.

01:16:49

Probably.

01:16:50

All right. Stealers, Browns. My streak's over. A little run. This is in Pittsburgh, right? Yeah. The Stealers aren't that good, but the Browns have a good defense, so I'm going to make the Stewards five and a half.

01:17:11

You know what? Starting next week, I'm going to drink the A hot water and lemon by the gallon. Did I hit it? You hit it exactly. I said six.

01:17:21

See, now people, nobody's going to believe this. What do I have to swear on?

01:17:26

I don't know. I mean, you're not a very good actor. I'll say So I think you're being legit here. I don't know what to say. All right. You have six out of seven, exactly?

01:17:40

I'm feeling the schedule. I've been watching a lot of football.

01:17:43

This is going to be interesting to see if you make money this week.

01:17:47

I think I might hit this next one.

01:17:49

That's probably low, too, right? Wouldn't you be surprised if they lost that game?

01:17:53

That should be higher. The problem with the Browns is if they get a lead with their defense against Rogers. If they were up nine, nothing or something, I could see them.

01:18:04

Pittsburgh was off, right? Yeah, Pittsburgh was off. And Cleveland's coming- Yeah, Pittsburgh was off. And Cleveland's coming from Europe. But Cleveland's coming from Europe. That's a huge rest advantage there.

01:18:12

It's a parlay game. Ram's Ravens. So are we assuming no Lamar? Because I did my guess with no Lamar.

01:18:20

I'll give you a hint, not that you needed. Yes, no Lamar, if you read into this line.

01:18:26

Okay. Well, I'm probably too low anyway, because I said Ram's minus three and a half.

01:18:31

Okay. I said five. It's seven and a half. Oh. Yeah, they've had enough.

01:18:38

So I've hit six exactly, but I was off by two and off by four.

01:18:42

Yeah.

01:18:43

Wow, seven and a half is high. It's a kitchen sink game for the Ravens. They'd be one and five heading into a buy. You're doing flea flickers, you're doing double passes, you're doing everything.

01:18:57

I'd like Baltimore a lot more if the Rams hadn't lost that stupid, stupid-ass game on Thursday.

01:19:05

That really was stupid. I'm tired of... I'm at my limit of the guys fumbling as they're about to score a countdown. This used to happen once a year, and now I feel like it's happening.

01:19:16

Even if they get punched in the head? Yeah. I don't like when you feel like you can't count on anything, like when it's bad play calling by Sean McVay. We got to be able to count on the good coaches. There's not too many bad coaches, quarterback, convos.

01:19:32

But I talked about this on Thursday's pod. For some reason, he has a blind spot on these fourth and 1s, right? Did you feel like that was going to be a good call by him? Well, no. I always feel like he messes those up.

01:19:42

He's got to be able to audible out, right? When everybody is loading the box, you can't. It never works.

01:19:51

So Pat Saint, initially before the Buffalo game, I had TicTac zone for this, but I think they have to be minus three in New New Orleans. So I went Pats minus three in New Orleans.

01:20:03

It is Pats minus three. I said two and a half.

01:20:07

I don't know how to do it anymore. How many have I hit? Seven?

01:20:09

That's seven exactly.

01:20:11

That might be the record.

01:20:12

This is ridiculous. We got to give you a parade here or something.

01:20:15

One, two. That's a pretty easy one, though.

01:20:18

Three, four. I guess. I'm just a half point off everything.

01:20:23

Poop fact that three games, including your team. Dangerous game. Cowboys of Carolina. If it's going to be hot in Miami, I'm guessing it's also going to be hot in Carolina. I have a Cowboys minus three and a half in Carolina.

01:20:40

Should we hire someone to do... What did you say?

01:20:43

Minus three and a half, Cowboys.

01:20:47

I can't believe this after a while, right? I can't just sit here and get assaulted.

01:20:52

Is it three and a half?

01:20:53

It's three and a half. I said three. Eight. Oh, my God. Jacob, there's not much I could do here, Jacob. What a day.

01:21:01

The pats beat the bills, and I'm on fire.

01:21:06

Let's just stop this now.

01:21:08

No, now I got to see if I get to 10. Well, I don't know. We'll see. I already have the guess. Are you scared of that Carolina game?

01:21:16

Oh, yeah. I was scared of watching the documentary when we lost that game. Michael Irvin had a good game.

01:21:22

Oh, yeah. You have the Steve Berlin. Yeah. This has all the makings of you go up 10-0, and then all the All of a sudden, it's 24 to 14 Panthers.

01:21:33

Yeah, we lost them last or two years ago.

01:21:35

We already lost them. Spiradidas is saying it's a huge comeback. Raiders Titans. I mean, it's in Vegas. I have Raiders minus two. I don't think I hit this one. Oh, wow.

01:21:52

Well, you should lose four for that. I said four, and it's six and a half.

01:21:58

What?

01:21:59

Let me recheck. Yeah, six and a half. You love Vegas on a teaser. You love them. No.

01:22:09

I just think, what did we say the home field advantage is now? One and a half?

01:22:14

Yeah.

01:22:15

Do you think the Raiders are better than the Titans? I mean, one of the things we didn't mention with the Raiders is they don't have Bowers. Right. That hurt. Bauer's clearly fucked up his knee after week one. He tried to play the last two weeks. He wasn't explosive at all. They benched in today's game. I just think without him, that's the only receiving weapon they have.

01:22:38

I don't know what to think because the Titans go down 14, 17 points every game. So it just depends on if there's a Kyla Murray type to let them back in it.

01:22:49

Last game is- D. Ricardo. Packers in Green Bay facing the the Bengals.

01:22:58

That was way off on this. Go ahead.

01:23:00

You're way off on this. Oh, yeah. Well, Detroit was favored in Cincinnati by 10. 5 and killed them. So the packers have to be favored by 13.

01:23:10

Okay. I said 11. It's 14. 5. Yeah, they can't screw around here.

01:23:24

Might have to break out the old 13-point teaser for that one. Take it out of the closet.

01:23:29

Got a leg. You can do whatever you want this week. I don't see how you lose any of these games. You're all over everything.

01:23:36

Would you see the home teams today?

01:23:38

What was it?

01:23:40

They were three and nine outright for this week, for week five. Home teams today, just winning or losing. Really? Were three and nine. Today, including the Rams, too? Including the Rams.

01:23:53

Yeah, that makes sense as I look at my ledger.

01:23:58

Yeah, didn't make a lot of sense. Okay. Sunday Night, Chiefs, Lions. A great game. And I put it right in the tic-tac zone, and I said, Chiefs minus one and a half.

01:24:09

All right. Well, I've lost track now, but yes, you hit that exactly. It's one and a half. I thought Detroit would be favored by one, but I guess you can't just keep making them.

01:24:18

That's my ninth one. Is that it? I like it to 10. There's two Monday Night games.

01:24:22

Because I have such a headache. I feel like it's 15. But if you say nine.

01:24:26

Is this better or worse for you than losing in the Cardinal's bet when the guy you're about to go up 28. 6. This is bad.

01:24:33

This is D. Mercado and the Mets blowing whatever it was.

01:24:38

The funny thing is, I'm going to get no credit for this because everybody's going to think I cheated. Well, yeah, they should. The only way to know if he didn't cheat is me. I'm wildly impressed by myself.

01:24:47

I've never done this. I don't think you would cheat this way. I really don't think so.

01:24:51

I certainly would have to be a lunatic to cheat this way.

01:24:54

It's the freaking hot water. It's doing it.

01:25:01

Let's go for 10 Monday night, Bills at Atlanta.

01:25:05

Two games again. How they just going to keep doing this?

01:25:08

I don't mind it. I went Bills minus two and a half in Atlanta.

01:25:13

You lost this one. I said five. It's four and a half.

01:25:17

Another one where I'm off.

01:25:19

Well, they're not going to lose. I mean, wouldn't you be shocked if they lost this and tonight? Everyone's betting Buffalo here.

01:25:30

I think Atlanta is a pretty solid home team. They had the week off. I haven't seen Buffalo play a complete game yet, and we're heading into the second week of October. I don't know. I think Atlanta could win this. Okay. I wouldn't feel awesome about betting Buffalo on the money line. Last one, my last chance to go for 10, which would easily be the record. It's Washington at home on a Monday night against the bears without Terry McLaren, but with Daniels. And I have Washington in the Vegas zone.

01:26:07

Is it in the Vegas zone? It is in the Vegas zone.

01:26:10

I have Washington minus four and a half.

01:26:13

You did it. You did it. Ten. There is a crazy- Were there buy weeks this week? Thank God, there was two teams on buy, Houston and Minnesota, because you would have had 11.

01:26:26

So I got 10 in the 15 I hit exactly. Yeah. That's never happened before.

01:26:31

I don't think six or seven has ever happened. We're launching an investigation.

01:26:36

I don't know what to tell you.

01:26:37

You, Komi, you're all going down. Wow. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

01:26:44

You know what it is? Here it is. Here's the secret right here. You're not looking up.

01:26:48

It is. Is that a urine specimen? What is that?

01:26:52

No, it's water with a lemon in it.

01:26:54

With a lemon, yeah. Good for you. Good job by you. 12: 7, and you lead four weeks to two. Oh, man, I am rattled by that. That was impressive.

01:27:06

When I was going for 10, I should have held my iPad right over the camera and then dropped it like DiMarcato. I just dangled it.

01:27:15

We'll have to replay that.

01:27:17

Just lost it. So seven-point teaser or parlay type of things. Rams, Ravens, if Lamar isn't playing, that's pretty enticing. Eagles, Giants, Broncos, Jets would be the three. That's one of those, which team is blowing this for us?

01:27:36

I don't think it's complicated. Philly and Denver.

01:27:43

Philly, you have to do.

01:27:44

Thursday night, Sunday morning, you're done. Yeah. Don't even wake up for that game.

01:27:52

You want to hit some parent corner?

01:27:54

Yeah, not really. I want to go to sleep. I'm really mad about this.

01:27:58

Today's parent corner brought to you by Workday. Are you a forward thinker? Then you need an HR and finance platform that thinks like you do. Workday, the AI platform that helps propel your organization, your workforce, and your entire industry into the future. Workday, moving business forever. Forward. Parent Corner. Let's hear it. You were in Brooklyn with your whole family. Was your family in Brooklyn or no?

01:28:22

No, they were home. And that's what goes on here. So I didn't really have much interaction with them. But Yeah, I was there for eight days, and I was like, Do I have to bring something home? I guess I should bring something home. So I bring home a bunch of- GIFs. Yes, but Jimmy Kimmer Live sweatshirts and T-shirts and hats. Not free and not cheap, but I do get a 20% discount. And I met with... Oh, thanks. Everyone's like, Yeah, I got 12-year-old.

01:28:52

They were handing them out at the show?

01:28:54

Yeah. I was like, I paid for these. It was nice. It was actually hard to get because they were selling outside. I put them to the side. Yeah, 12-year-old, 17-year-old wife. And I was thinking to myself, what age do you stop bringing gifts home for the kids after a business trip? And I thought about it. Go ahead.

01:29:14

Probably nine I would say nine.

01:29:16

Yeah. I thought about it and I threw a lot of numbers around, and I wanted to hit it exact, much like you did 10 times today, whatever you did on the Guest Aligns. And I figured that age is whatever age they started everything they fucking ever asked for in life is the age. Why do we have to bring back anything to signify... Of course, I missed you. We FaceTime, we called, but you also get whatever you want. You get Roblox bucks in every PlayStation game or app or Amazon gift cards or fishing poles or boogie boards or Topgolf out. It adds up. Is a Statue of Liberty globe, a snow globe? I'm certainly not getting He went a Mets jersey from New York. I feel like I did the okay thing.

01:30:04

Half-price Soto jersey?

01:30:06

Yeah, it's enough. It's good.

01:30:09

Maybe it's the Venn diagram is exactly the same age as Elf and the Shove. That's good. Whenever that stops, that's when you stop bringing gifts on to.

01:30:17

Okay, so two, three years past the Easter Bunny, and I hope no kids are listening, but the other guy, the big guy. Yeah.

01:30:24

Big beard guy. John Walsh?

01:30:25

Yeah, John Walsh. That's That's it. I don't know. So no one's happy.

01:30:32

All right. So converse question or parallel question. How many years do you have to be with whoever you're dating or married to before you don't even think to bring them home something when you've been away for a week? Right. Same thing. That's probably like three four years.

01:30:47

Yeah, sure.

01:30:48

Because then if it's after 11 years and you bring them something, they just assume you cheated on them when you were away. Yes, it's suspicious. Yeah. It's like, why are you giving me this? What are you up to? Exactly. I don't know. I wanted to get you a sweatshirt. Why?

01:31:03

That's exactly right. That's exactly right. Now, versus if you send them flowers just on a random Wednesday, to me, that's nicer. Not that I would do that, but that's nicer than bringing gifts home. So I know.

01:31:16

What was your best... Was Billy Kimmel in Brooklyn?

01:31:19

He was there. Yeah, he was good.

01:31:21

I just want... We're going to have our cousin come on Parent Corner, I think next week. I got to see... So So little Billy, who's in the perfect parent corner age.

01:31:32

So funny.

01:31:33

I haven't seen you this delighted by anybody in a long time. Because it's good because it's not your son. So you're the perfect amount of distance, but you're related to him, and he's a complete shitster. And he was just shooting people with a water gun and messing with 20 people in this very tense office. And you had the tongue in your cheek. You were just delighted.

01:31:57

People all dressed up. It's the first show back. This in LA, the first show back. And Billy knows right where the water gun is. It goes right for his mother who turned right in like- She shoots her in the ear. Yeah, it's like block or charge. I don't know what we call this, but she walked right into it.

01:32:10

She's wearing a dress. It's like the biggest show in the history of the show. She's just firing a water gun in her. So did you have any good Brooklyn moments? Yeah.

01:32:18

I mean, first of all, great crowds, 10,000 people over five days. There were like a hundred and twenty five thousand ticket request and no shenanigans. I was worried like, all take one or two, whatever. So all big fans, all big energy. Highlights. I mean, you could call me Grandma Sal instead of cousin Sal because I had about 25 grandma slices of pizza while I was there.

01:32:40

All different spots. Did you weigh yourself before and after the trip or no?

01:32:43

No, I didn't. Tomorrow, though, I'm tripling up on the Zetbound, so I have to get it in order. It's going to be lemon and hot water the rest of the year till Christmas. We took our aunt Chippie on a tour of rats in New York City. Oh, my God. Yeah, she didn't like it too much. She was very upset with us. But I think the highlight was Seth Meyers was on the show and requested to meet me, and he is a big, big fan of ours.

01:33:10

Yeah, he's a longtime guest of The Alliance guy.

01:33:12

Yeah, and he's a big fan of mine and yours before the hot water with lemon fiasco. Now he's just a fan of mine. But he was like, you got to go after. Don't ever let him forget about that lemon thing. That's crazy. And here you are, hitting 10 exact- Yeah, he texted me about it, and I reminded him that you were sharing a milkshake with Rob Mills. He No one cares about that.

01:33:30

He made it a share of vanilla milkshake.

01:33:32

Fine. Still milk shake.

01:33:33

49-year-old man. It sounded like it was a great week. The Matt Damon thing was the highlight.

01:33:41

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

01:33:42

That was great. The Matt Damon was really, really funny. So mine, listen, I just... Very few times while I use this platform just to complain, hoping for change, but also just complaining. I don't really like when people use platforms for But my daughter plays college soccer. She's a div 3 athlete. And all these different league have these different systems for streaming the games to the parents because obviously the kids are from all over the place. People still want to... There's nothing more fun than watching your kid play sports. We played a NESCAC team. Nescac is the one with Amherst and Williams and Bowden, all those ones. They're playing in Bowden, and it's like the most... It's called NSN Sports. They have this beautiful HD wide feed and you could see the whole game and the picture was perfect. It was like the game was on ESPN2 and we were like, my wife and I were like, this is amazing. This is like the best telecast of a Zoe game ever. Then on Saturday, we go back to the app that's for her league, the new Mac League, and it's called Flow Sports. It's this app that when it works for 20 straight minutes, it's a fucking miracle.

01:34:58

Sometimes Sometimes it's just gone and it says technical difficulties. There'll be 20 minutes left in the game. Sometimes it doesn't start. You log on before the game and you're just like, I just hope my daughter's game's on. Then it's like, Oh, there's the field. So this one, they reached a new one on Saturday. They've never done this one before. I felt like Flow Sports had played all the hits for just how to fuck with parents of these players. This one, there was just a test pattern. It was a field the game. There's some three-year-old... A wide shot of the field, one camera. There's some three-year-old working the camera. They're just zooming in and out. It's like if you give your son an iPhone, he's like,. And then on top of it, the test pattern. And every time the camera would move, if somebody kicked the ball, the test pattern would come on. So about 20 minutes in, we're like, we might have a seizure. Should we keep watching this week? We have to watch it. It's always game. And it's just test pattern game. Test pattern test pattern, game, test pattern, game. Flow Sports, it's like $10 a month.

01:36:03

I know it was big on wrestling. I think it started with wrestling.

01:36:07

They have all these sports. I googled them and there was this big article about Flow Sports. They have so much money and resources and things are going great. It's like, things aren't going great. Your cameras suck. Every telecast, it's a 50/50, whether I'm going to see my daughter's game or not. I live 3,000 miles away. Show the fucking game. Figure it out. Get better cameras. Use your resources for all these colleges. You have this great economic thing going on. You have people like us that are just away from our kids. We'll pay any amount of money to watch our kids play. Figure out the fucking cameras, FlowSports. Don't suck this much. That's my rant for parents.

01:36:46

I like it. They're done now. You crippled that. You made it worse. You crippled that company. Flowsports and Tylenol, out.

01:36:54

You know why I'm so upset? Because I'm still recovering from the seven seizures I had from the 97,000 times they flashed the test pattern.

01:37:01

Well, it helped you guess the lines, obviously. Yeah, that sucks.

01:37:04

Maybe all the seizures help.

01:37:06

How many games do you think they're doing simultaneously? Not to stick up for them here because I don't know what's going on, but they probably have...

01:37:14

Oh, they have a million. Yeah, they have a million things.

01:37:16

At the same time.

01:37:17

Yeah. Yeah. But at some point, if this is a business, the thing shouldn't flake out.

01:37:24

No, it's not a business anymore. You're putting it into that. And that's in sports.

01:37:27

The NESCAC certainly has a good camera. Flow Sports. Just have a meeting, play this whole rant in the meeting at 10 o'clock. And I really want you to all look at each other in the conference room and figure the fuck out what you're going to do long term with this. This is a great product you I love. Parents love watching their kids play sports. Just figure it out.

01:37:49

It's true.

01:37:50

There's another game on Wednesday. Zoe's playing Wednesday. Am I going to be able to watch the game? Is it going to cut out? We'll never know.

01:37:57

No, they're going to fly you out first class now to make sure you don't miss You're right on the field.

01:38:01

Just have the feed. I don't need anything. Just have the feed work. I speak on behalf of all the parents out there, and I know there's got to be so many more parents that fucking hate Flow Sports. How much is it?

01:38:10

Ten a month?

01:38:12

Yeah, something like that. Yeah.

01:38:14

If they say they're going to have it, they should have it.

01:38:16

It's two months away from 2026. We should be... Even I have a good camera for the podcast now. Think how long that took. We're all getting better at this stuff. Anyway, that was Parent Corner brought to you.

01:38:28

Flow from Progressive just killed It's Parent Corner brought to you by workday.

01:38:33

Com. You could learn more about all their great stuff there. They are a more competent company than Flow Sports. All right, so what do you have going this week? Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Ringer Gamma show. I got a lot. Yeah. House is coming this weekend, by the way.

01:38:49

Oh, he is? Oh, you're doing that? I don't know if you're coming for football.

01:38:52

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Let's get that going. I don't know if you're coming for football on Sunday.

01:38:55

Tuesday with Tate. Wow. Penn State and Texas suck. We're We're going to talk college. We're going to talk pro, talk baseball. What's going on with Coach Belichick? Wednesday with House and our nephew, DeBundo. Friday with DeBundo and high fits, and then our award-winning pregame show. By the way, that was a great... That was like a Look, stand back. And I'm like, what I'm doing in life is pretty cool. I'm on with my buddies on this pregame show, and I'm like, I'm going to bet the Vikings on that last drive plus 250. Of course, I lost it all during the day. I'm going to bet them. I like this. This is still the Browns, and then we We're on the air talking about it, and it won. I was like, this is very cool. So there you go. Bring a pregame show.

01:39:36

Any baseball picks before we go? Anything you're excited about?

01:39:40

How could you pick any of these games? Do you like any of this?

01:39:44

I thought the Yankees were going to... Honestly, I thought they were going to kill Toronto. I'm not saying that. Yeah. As a reverse Jinks thing. When Bichette got scratched combined with Toronto's bullpen, but the thing is, they've never even had to go to the bullpen because they killed them in two games in a row.

01:39:59

Yeah. Can I say something that's- Detroit-Seattle is a good series, though.

01:40:04

I think that one's going to go seven.

01:40:05

I'm old mannish with this thing because I don't like when the playoffs don't resemble the regular season. When these guys... I mean, Seattle had a freaking shutout going and still used five pitchers. I know it ended up three, two. They allowed one earned run. When you see five pitchers when your guy is throwing a gem, doing the best he's ever done. Anyway, but it's fun to have all the three.

01:40:28

Would you put a Would you put a number for how many you could use in the first seven innings or something?

01:40:34

Yeah, I think just... I don't know. I guess you can't do that because of the injury and everything. But I also think all these games should air on flow sports.

01:40:47

Toronto Yankees on Flow Sports. I just...

01:40:51

Imagine getting a camera to Canada? Oh, man.

01:40:54

Just Flow Sports. Just do better. Just do better. Not asking for a home run. Just Just hit a single to the opposite field. It'd be great. All right, because this was a true pleasure today. Congrats to my New England Patriots. Congrats to me for the 10. Thanks to Eduardo and Gehow as well. You can have the rewatchables tomorrow night. Jeremiah Johnson, we're doing that one. You got Task, Prestige TV podcast. We've been covering that every week. Are you watching Task?

01:41:22

Yeah, I am. I'm way behind, though.

01:41:24

Task is good. Then my wife and I watched the first three episodes of the Ed Geen Netflix thing. Really disturbing, almost too disturbing. Might not continue.

01:41:36

Really? So maybe I don't have to add it to my- I don't know if you do.

01:41:39

I'm on the fence.

01:41:40

I got John Candy. I got all these others.

01:41:42

John Candy is coming in. Yeah. All right. That one's coming, too. All right, Sal. Good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. Thanks, everybody. Must be 21 plus in President Select States for a Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus in President DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming. Gambling problem? Call 1-800 Gambler. Visit rg-help. Com. Call 888-79-7777 or visit ccpg. Org/chat-n-kneticat or md-gamblinghelp. Org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema. Org or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support in Massachusetts or call 877-8 Hope, N-Y or text Hope, N-Y in New.

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Episode description

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to react to the Patriots taking down the Bills, and other Week 5 highlights (2:33). Then, they have a bad QB fantasy draft before guessing the lines for Week 6 and ending with Parent Corner (50:33).

Host: Bill Simmons

Guest: Cousin Sal

Producers: Chia Hao Tat and Eduardo Ocampo

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