Transcript of A Goofy Cowboys Tie, the Reeling Ravens, a Crazy Sports Weekend, Guess the Lines, Mets Sadness, and Sox-Yanks With Cousin Sal

The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by FanDuel Sportsbook. We are also presented by the Ringer Podcast Network. Put up a new Prestige TV podcast tonight. Actually, episode four of Task broke it down. Me, Joanna, Rob. You can hear that. You can listen to rewatchables. On Monday night, we started Redford Month. We're starting at two days early before October, but we are going to do the Sting as the first episode. So that is what's coming. Unbelievable sports time right now. Ryder cup this weekend was really fun. Check out Fairway Rolling for the recap of everything that happened on that. Baseball playoffs are coming. We're gonna be covering that in the Raider Gambling Show. We're gonna be covered on the New York New York podcast on off the pike with Brian Barrett as well the Boston podcast that we have. And this week it's. It's just gonna be a lot of stuff going on because it's Red Sox, Yankees. A huge, huge, huge monkey wrench for me personally. I'm going to talk about it with Sal a bit later, but I really hate the Yankees. The Red Sox did not have as good of a team as the Yankees, so we have a crutch.

But losing to the Yankees is my least favorite thing. I think if I had to rank it, Yankees, Lakers are just at the very top of just pure hatred of franchises. And then it really dips to another level after that. Those are the two. Those are the two I never would have let my kids be fans of. I just really dislike both teams. I wrote a bunch of columns about that over the years. I wrote a whole thing about sports hate. I really sports hate both of those teams. But I actually also genuinely hate the Yankees and the Lakers too, but especially the Yankees. Especially growing up when they used to kick our ass year after year and then they were super arrogant about it. And then everything finally flipped in 2004 when we came back from three nothing and beat them. And for the record, the Red Sox had won four World Series in the 21st century and the Yankees have only won one. And it would be really nice to beat them when they're heavy favorites, almost two to one favorites against the Red Sox. So anyway, go Sox. I've really enjoyed this season.

It's the first season I have thrown myself into really since 2018, where I was just watching everything and it was a really flawed, really lovable Red Sox team that had one great starter. They traded Devers during the season, which was weird. But then Roman Anthony showed up and all of a sudden was Ted Williams. Then he got hurt. Then it seemed like they weren't going to make the playoffs. Then they somehow did anyway. And there's just something spunky about them. So it'll be interesting to see how it plays out in the playoffs. There's a chance they just get wiped out. There's another chance that they could be one of those weird baseball teams that had in October. All of a sudden you're like, how the hell is this team winning? I don't know what to expect. I'm just glad they're in it. So go Red Sox. Can't wait for it. We're going to talk to cousin Sal. It is late Sunday night because we just had an overtime tie. We're going to talk about that. We're going to talk about week four NFL. We're talking about Ryder cup baseball playoffs, Parent Corner all coming up next.

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All right, we were recording. It is 9:15 Pacific Time and past midnight on the east coast where cousin Sal is where he finished his roller coaster week. Let's see. The Mets died. Oh, the Ryder Cup USA team died. The Cowboys tied and our cousin came back. What a roller coaster. We just watched a four hour football game that ended with a team willingly saying, yeah, fuck it, let's have a tie 40 to 40 and yet it was a win for the Cowboys. You were. You must have been dreading this game all week.

We won the trade. We won the trade. It's over. See how easy that was?

Two firsts.

I was so excited about the bad bunny announcement. And then we get a tie out of this mess.

That was terrific.

But, you know, you could say the Cowboys got lucky, but my God, I don't know how much this game. You want to talk about how lucky was lafleur that there was a one tick left and that the guy at the working the clock was. Wasn't half asleep. And make it go. That was amazing. Just amazing.

I was dumbfounded by the Packers. You were down. You had like a fifth round, fourth string linebacker in the middle of the field who Collinsworth was just openly going, that guy doesn't know what he's doing. And they're just running these bubble screens and side passes. And they have craft. They have all these receivers who go over the middle. Every time they throw over the middle, it's complete for 8 to 15 yards. And then when they need to do it on fourth down, they do it. And then they start doing the bubble screens again. I thought that game was such a loss for the Packers. As happy as I was for you, that Dallas looked good. Their defense was so bad. I mean, they couldn't get a stop. Their special teams was bad. I thought their clock management was bizarre. And then it almost ends with them botching it and it should have gone to zero. Where was your clock guy? Honestly, in high school and college, that game's over.

They would. That guy can't come back. I mean, Jerry needs to pay the clock guy $148 million. That's. That's all where our next big payment goes there. And by the way, speaking of, didn't it seem like in the beginning the Cowboys were kind of playing not to lose and the offense like, you know, went into gear. But I think Jerry gave everyone a bonus. Says, hey, if Parsons doesn't get a sack, offensive line, quarterback, running backs block, million dollars each. Everybody gets it. I'll blow all the mica money right now. I don't care. And he technically, I guess, got a sack. But I was like, God damn, that better not be the story, him stopping Dak from scoring there and Green Bay comes down. But it was a ridiculous game.

The crazy thing was he's doing interviews before the game. Yeah, it's like he's the last person who didn't realize that everybody hated that trade. He's still talking about it making cases for it. And then the ultimate case was the most valuable guy in that team other than Dak is the kicker. Would you trade Aubrey for two first round picks? The guy, the guy's the biggest weapon in the league with these kickoff rules and how far everyone can kick field goals. It feels like he's worth 20 yards a quarter, right?

Yeah, sure.

Like in overtime, you're like, well, you gotta get it. They're gonna score at least three. They get one first down, he's kicking a field goal, so, you know, you need three to tie him.

We've seen some of these teams go from quarterback to backup quarterback and the line doesn't move at all. I feel like if we had another kicker in there, the Cowboys line should go up a half a point or down a half a point in there. And it's gonna be great to see this guy out next August for all the money in the world. That's.

Well, you have a great kick returner too. I mean, it was. Yeah, I thought special teams had a huge impact on this game.

You know, I was in a cab. I'm Brooklyn. And in between the late afternoon games and the night game and I'm coming back and everyone's like, Jerry was crying, talking to Jason Garrett. He's saying, oh, we should have won two Super Bowls. I was like, don't anyone send me this video because I will vomit all over my hotel room and some poor housekeeper who's going to have to Super Bowls with who with Jason Garrett.

Like the Super bowl, the final game in the. In the season.

Yeah, that Super Bowl. Yeah. Not the bad bunny bowl, but yeah, the Super Bowl.

Who thinks they should have won two Super Bowls? I don't even know if they should have made a Super Bowl. I mean, was the Romo. The Romo botched where Garrett wasn't the coach for that?

No, no, no, no. But you know, we had some 13 win. We were. We were right there for. If not for Eli. But anyway, let's celebrate the tie.

Well, let's celebrate the fact that the Cowboys are entertaining. They're not. I don't know. You're going to go. Well, now you have a tie, where you go 6, 10 and 1, 7, 8 and 1, 5, 11 and 1, whatever you're going to end up with. But at least. At least it's going to be fun to watch. The other team's offense is going to move up down the field. Your team can move up down the field. Lamb will come back soon. Pickens. That was the best game I'VE ever seen him play. I thought he was dominant. Javante Williams, who you took a flyer on, I thought he was really good too. I got to be honest, I didn't really feel like there was a difference between the two teams. Did you? Yeah, like watching that game for four hours, I didn't really feel. I felt like they were right near each other, which is a bad sign for a team. We were sending the super bowl two weeks ago, myself included.

I think our offense is good. I don't want to praise our defense at all, but I do feel like there are certain games this team's going to get up for. We got up for the Eagles game opening night. We didn't win that game, but we got up for it. We made sure we didn't lose the Giants, although we played piss poor football and we were going to get up for this one. I don't know what that says for the rest of the year, but I think you're right. They're going to be entertaining. You know, I don't think NBC or anyone will be embarrassed putting them in primetime because they'll score points.

No. Plus we had the. The Chiefs were finally a little bit entertaining today.

Yeah.

New overtime rules. That was the first time we've had those. I don't know. I don't know if I liked it. I don't know. I think it should have been 12 minutes. If we're going to do. Each team gets a possession, 10 minutes is a little late because what happens is the packers, they give up a field goal, then they just basically stonewall it and they make it. So either retie, that's not fun. I didn't feel like, it didn't feel like sudden death to me. It felt like sudden nap.

Yeah. But this wasn't an exact Cowboys and score a touchdown. They kicked a field goal. It's been like that for years where.

If you kick a field goal I didn't like. I just didn't like it in general because even if the Cowboys scored, the packers were still going to get the ball back with their chance to go down. I just, I didn't feel like it was as tense as I wanted it to be. Yeah, that's my point. You know, I never felt like I.

Was like, oh my God.

Oh, they got it. It was, it was like, oh, it was never felt that way.

I feel like here's, here's something I'll say is, you know, it's the, the way you think about it is, oh, if you, if you win the toss, you play on defense. Right. Because you want to see what the team does. You want to see what you have to do in the second position.

I didn't like that's.

I don't know if that's the case anymore. If you have an exhausted defense, you're putting them out there right away. And the Cowboys move the ball down the field. And the Cowboys defense was probably equally as tired. Had about 15 good minutes to re. Energize, you know, otherwise. And packers maybe score a touchdown if they get the ball first.

Yeah, I didn't like that. I just didn't feel like there was the same urgency to the quarter. Like, first of all, you hear deferring, which everybody. They did a lot of stories on that before the year. And it's like, probably slightly makes sense to. To be second because then you have the option of going for two and trying to. Whatever. Both teams score a touchdown.

Yeah.

But I don't know. I would want the ball first. Dallas had been on the field for a while.

Momentum.

Weird.

Yeah.

I didn't. I didn't like it. I think if you're going to have both teams can score a touchdown, like, let's make it 12 minutes. Let's make the game longer. 10 minutes is just, I don't know.

I don't like a tie.

I didn't love it.

I didn't love that the Ryder cup could have maybe ended in a tie. I was like, really? We're going to watch 72 hours of golf and it's going to end in a tie? Like, we can get rid of all these ties. Plenty of stuff.

The Ryder cup had this wrinkle. Nobody even really knew about that. Hovland's like, I'm hurt. It's like, ah, looks like we split the half. It's like, what? The guy can't play. Why don't you lose the half?

Yeah, I guess we benefited off that in 91 or something. But, yeah, I'm with you. There are some dumb golf rules, too.

So what would be your dream overtime role? Like, how would you do it? Because I didn't like what happened tonight. Whatever that was, I didn't love it.

My dream overtime rules, that they do away with it. So we could have started this at 11:30 instead of 12:20. Come on.

You have a slice of pizza at 1:30 in the morning.

You're not kidding. You're not freaking kidding? I don't know. I still haven't heard one. That's perfect, honestly. Yeah. What would you do?

I would have got two more minutes. I think it should be two more minutes? 12 minutes, yeah. Cause then that's enough time for two long drives to get the two timeouts. And then if you're the packers, where you're like, ah, whatever, we'll just tie, you're not worried about Dallas getting the ball back. Cause you can do what they did, which is just basically kill the clock. I didn't like that.

I'm good with adding time.

It's.

I don't think it's a danger thing anymore. You got half the players wearing helmets the size of the sphere. So it's. We're good. We could play two more minutes.

The packers are playing blackjack. They're just surrendering over and over again. Surrender. One more.

Very strange. So you didn't like, I don't think. I take it you didn't like the two point conversion being run back. Well, the extra point being blocked. You weren't a fan of that?

You know what I wasn't a fan of? They scored and it's 13 nothing. And I had a great day today. And this was like the packers and some moneyline parlays was the capper. And I went and I got myself a nice thing of hot water. Three minutes, I'm talking to my son in the kitchen, come back with my glass of hot water with a little lemon in it. And it's 13 to 2. And I'm like, did I have a stroke? Did I miss a safety? So now I'm rewinding and I mean, that never happens. That two point thing. They said it happened 15 times in the last 11 years. I don't remember any of the times. Do you, like maybe once.

No, it never happens. Nothing never happens. A football fan drinking hot water with lemon. What's the matter? Are you sick or something?

Huh? What's wrong with having hot water with lemon?

What's right with it? Hot water and lemon. You deserve that. Being run back. Oh my God.

I had some pizza today. I wanted to send some hot water down the pipes.

Oh my God. Wow.

How dare you.

No, it's good, it's good, everyone.

You were complaining on Tuesday night because I wanted to get milkshakes and you didn't want to get a milkshake.

I know.

You wanted to share a milkshake with Rob Mills. You want to share a milkshake with another grown man? You're making fun of me.

I can't breathe at the end of these meals. I still don't want hot water and lemon. I would never be seen.

Well, the hot water is making Me hot and sweaty right now, so I'm probably going to have a stroke as we do this. Well, Green Bay, I'm pretty lukewarm. I know they've got a couple of receivers back, though. They'll get a little healthier on the defensive side. But for the most part, the impact of the Parsons thing was not what we had in our heads so far.

Definitely far from what we saw week one. Right. Like, against Detroit, like, oh, this team's not. You're going to be lucky to get 10 points against this team at all. I'm looking at the divisions. You want to guess for nfc?

North.

North. Yeah.

I think Detroit has to be favored now. Probably minus. I haven't looked at this. I would say Detroit minus 140.

Detroit plus 140.

Green Bay. Sorry. Oh, yeah. No, I would have said minus 140.

Yeah, yeah. Green Bay's even. Detroit plus 140.

So Green Bay's favorites, though.

Yeah. Barely favored.

I don't know.

And they have to play in Detroit. Yeah. Yeah.

So who would you have in the NFC right now, in the whole nfc, if you had to pick an NFC team?

That's the Eagles. I hate it, but it's the Eagles. Yeah, isn't it?

They had no completions in the second half.

I know, I know. They're laughing at all of us.

They just love to fuck with us. Let's play a game of win. You over. Oh, I'm going to throw some things at you, and you tell me if you were won over or not. All right?

I'm going to throw some hot tea with lemon at you.

Now. Lemon in this one. It's just hot water.

Look, at least put it in a Big John stud glass or something. You got all those. It's going to be us in the.

Nursing home 25 years from now. You're making fun of me with the hot water.

Put your lemon away when you over.

Did the Chiefs win you back today?

Yeah. They did. Yeah.

Okay.

They did. Yeah. They. I think they were laughing at all of us, much like the Eagles do offensive with their offensive game call. But I don't know, man. I mean, they have receivers, like, dancing, like, all right, you. You barely break 17 points any week, and you guys are dancing around then, like. I don't know. Do you think it's a combination of the Ravens defense being abysmal bottom three?

I thought it was a good sign how they played today. I didn't understand the line this week, especially when all the Baltimore injuries came out. Thought it probably should have been Closer to pick them. With that said, I just thought Baltimore was decimated. I think Harbaugh knew it. Some of the usage with Henry was pretty strange where he just wasn't in there on these third and two third and ones where I feel like in January he will be and when. And I thought the announcers did a good job of talking about it. When he's out there, you have to play like he's going to move your line back. And when he's not out there, you can just play everything completely different. So I just felt like they, they kind of knew they weren't going to win the game and they went pretty vanilla and Lamar tweaked his hamstring and they're just like, all right, he's out. It just, it was like they just felt like they didn't. They weren't going to win and they didn't. They didn't really want to go for it. That was my take.

Yeah. I mean, you're not wrong. I just. This is two weeks in a row we saw Lamar not be able to break, contain. Right. And maybe you're right. Maybe they're just showing vanilla offense because they knew they were going to be stuck today. But yeah, that, that the Chiefs are, you know, you know, once the Chargers lost to the Giants, I'm like, oh, I get it. I get it. Now the Chiefs are going to win. They're going to be a game out and they still have the game at home against the Chargers. Now I. Now I understand football.

Kyle Hamilton had a really weird quote. Let me see if I can find. Was the only thing that made me feel weird about. About maybe something's going on with the Ravens. He said, I just want to apologize to the fans. The product that we're putting in the field right now, not up to par with the Ravens have been in the past and recent past. We're trying our best to correct it, but obviously something's wrong.

Hmm.

It's their best guy on defense.

Yeah.

Now they're missing seven guys. It's going to take a while for everybody to come back. And they do. They feel like they do this every once in a while. But the difference this time around, going one and three. Apparently that's only happened twice in the last 25 years for them. In 05 and 15, they didn't make the playoffs. And more importantly, their defense is on pace to allow 560 points.

Wow.

That seems like a problem.

Yeah, That's a lot.

They're 560 for 17 games, you know, and I, they just don't get stops. They seem slow and I would be like, Mallory is freaking out. She thinks they're. They might be the year from hell team.

Yeah.

Which brings up the point that we don't have the year from hell team obvious yet. And they're probably the favorite, right? They're minus 150 to be the year from hell team.

No, they're kind of coming off the year from hell. So you could maybe you can assume that it might happen again. Yeah, I was thinking about it. So just taking it down the ladder a little bit. Like, I don't think Lamar could be in the conversation with Allen before this game even to be mvp because like after last week's performance, like, wow, they're going to lose five games. They're not going to be a top two seed now. I'm not even sure they win that division. Like, you know, what do we have.

For the odds there?

Do you have that Baltimore's -210. I would now I would not take. I don't know if there's value in the Steelers plus 280, but I had no way I would take the Ravens at minus 210 at this point.

So Steelers have a two game lead on them and one of the biggest, shiniest horseshoes up their ass that I've seen in recent years. Just, it's unbelievable. We're going to talk about that later. I think there's a real issue with the Ravens with, with all these injuries and the fact that they're the bigger thing is their schedules. You know, it was one of like the three or four schedules. We were kind of worried about heading into the year. We were wondering if they would go two and two to come out of this and then kind of right the ship and do what they do. But I don't know. I guess the one thing with them is the division. I don't think now that Burrow's out, Cleveland can't score. There's already like, are they going to change QB stuff with them? And I continue to not think Pittsburgh is good. I don't care. They can go 16 and 1 and I'm just not buying them this year. I was in on them last year. I don't see it this year, do you?

I'm with you. But they're going to win games like this like today. Right? Like, I don't want to give them too much credit but they're. Their offense isn't imaginative at all. They move the ball a little better. But yeah, I go back and forth they have wins against Justin Fields and Drake maybe, and Carson Wentz, and I'm like. But I'm not betting them to win the AFC north. Right? And they have the Browns and Bengals next. They could be 5 and 1.

This team, they seem so easy to stop. Rogers is just quick throwing everything. I don't understand why teams don't just move everybody up. Like they're not trying to test anybody down the field at all. I don't. I don't think they run the ball particularly well, though. Gainwell was pretty well, pretty good today, and they just get these turnovers every game. I mean, the Jags are the other team that are just getting turnovers left and right, and the Steelers are getting it. But the. The game today, like, the right tackle and the center and the Vikings were out by the second quarter. Like, you just kind of knew Kelly Carson, Wentz with a. With a triple A offensive line, like, this isn't going to go well. And then they're playing in Ireland, which is supposed to be, you know, their foreign country neutral site. It's like 95% Steelers fans there. And it felt like a real home game. And it seemed like it was loud there, too, so I just don't see it. I thought the PAT should beat them last week, like. Like convincingly. So.

Yeah, I mean, they're probably somewhere in between what we saw today. I still don't like the quality of quarterbacks they're facing. Like Wentz. You know, we get. Fall in love with some of these backups. Like, Wentz won last week. They. They crushed Cincinnati. Well, look what Cincinnati did the week before they won. And we like Browning.

Right.

Like, it doesn't. You can't count on these guys to play consecutive games, you know, above par, I think. Yeah.

I mean, Wentz and Mariota were two people. I didn't bet on Washington.

Yeah.

Two quarterbacks you could have bet on today and felt good about that until you're watching the game, you're like, oh, shit, I bet on Marcus Mariota. What. What did I do?

Right?

Did. Did the Jaguars win you over? Where are you with that? How much of that game did you watch?

No, I watched a lot of it. And I, you know, I have to stick with them because I picked them to win that stupid division. And. But they.

3 and 1. I don't know if it's stupid.

Plenty of times they look to give that game away. Right? That just seems to be the thing. Like, will the clock expire before they do enough stupid shit. Whether it's Trevor Lawrence Going out of bounds, you know, when he should be trying to kill the clock. But I think you said it earlier like they have three or more turnovers in all four games. That four today. And Eric Armstead. Yeah. So that'll keep them in every game if that keeps up. But it's also kind of flukish.

They had nine total last year. They have 13 already this year. Through four, they lead the league pretty good. I've actually just randomly, I think have watched every Jaguars game. I think I've had money on three of them. There are a couple, you know, dopey turnovers that like, ah, that was stupid. But they, there was somewhere they, you know, they caused the turnover and they are aggressive and they do fly around and they make plays. So at some point it's a real thing. I want to point out they're a dumb Jake Browning drive away from being four now.

Right, right. For sure.

Their best player has 12 catches and zero TDs in four games. Thomas, their stud mega rookie, who they traded all that shit for is 10 catches and zero TDs in four games. And for some reason it's working. ETN is like really, really. I like he murdered my fantasy team last year, but he's got the juice back. And I don't know, they've gotten some special team stuff. Their coach tried to fight Robert, a kid Sala.

That's fun after the game.

I enjoyed that. And I can't find seven AFC playoff teams. Yeah, that's the. I mean they might get the nine and make it.

They could beat out Baltimore for a wild card. At this point, even if they don't win the division, it's getting that, that weird, I think.

I don't want to say they won me over, but I am taking them seriously as like I bet on them today, they won. Like I do think they're competent. I think they're slightly above middle of the road. I felt the same way about them. In the Pats, the Niners, is there a three in one team you like less than the Niners right now?

Let me see.

They looked awful today.

What's Denver? Are they two and one? They could be three and one or.

No, three and one teams are. I'll give them to you Pittsburgh, Jacksonville, Indy, Chargers, Detroit, Tampa, San Francisco, Seattle and the Rams.

I mean we're probably going to get to this on your list there, but Indy is. I think I would take San Francisco over Indianapolis. Okay, not by a lot, but they just, they just look like they want to do anything stupid to lose I mean, that Adoni Mitchell play. Sorry, that's. What's the equivalent of that.

He cost them 14 points.

The one. The one. The touchback one is the one I love.

Yeah, that was tough. I felt bad for him because I, I didn't. It wasn't like a desean putting the ball out and doing a dance. Like he was about to cross the line and he was going to hold it up, which every guy does. But for some reason when he did it, he had like a spasm.

Yeah, it was a little foolish.

Yeah, it wasn't. The desean thing is still like the all timer when they drop it before they hit the goal line. Those are the stupidest. Those.

That wasn't. Yeah, that wasn't that. But I mean, does this go on in any other work place really? Like at the ringer if someone wrote an article and then juggled his computer in celebration and dropped it into a staircase, three floors? Like, you're like, don't ever talk to me again.

Right.

What are you. What are you doing?

You flew to New York. You forgot your cord.

Yeah, that's true.

That was like, go to Amazon and send you a new recorder.

Oh, what an idiot.

Here's the thing with the Niners special teams. Week after week, they're in the bottom three or five, right. They give up a huge punt, a huge kick return. This week they had the field goal stuff from earlier in the air. It just feels like they. They've just never solved that. They just lose points. They're like the anti Dallas. They've already had a bunch of injuries and they have not had the McCaffrey injury yet. And they're rushing, by the way. What do you think they're rushing? Yards per carry. The. The vaunted Niners running attack. I think it is this year. Four, two, three, three. Really second to last in the NFL.

Moving it.

And they're playing Thursday, right.

Playing Seattle.

So they could be three and two and headed the wrong way and play the Rams Thursday.

Yeah, yeah.

Or the Rams. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know. Who's your favorite NFC west team?

I think you're right because it's like we haven't seen the end of their injuries. Just as. And Purdy, like you and I, we went back and forth with Purdy so much from game to get it again.

I went, I'm back against.

But now you'll see it within the games. Like you'll see him make a great throw and then you're like, oh my God. Then what is he thinking? With that interception, like we're just within the same game. Like that's. That's new Purdy. All right, let's look at this.

He makes some plays that I'm just like, I gotta go get some hot water and lemon. I just can't believe he did that.

You gotta blame someone for that. That's a double lemon.

It's a double lemon throw into traffic by Purdy.

Yeah.

So can I get. I haven't looked at the NFC west lines. Can I guess?

Sure, yeah.

Because we have three, three and one teams and then Arizona is two and two.

Two and two. Yeah.

I'm going to say the Rams are favorite to win the NFC west and probably in the plus one 40 to 150 range.

Very good. Plus 135.

I'm going to say the Niners are second just because there's a bunch of money in them already. But it's probably higher. Like plus 190, 165. I think Seattle's under 2 to 1, probably plus 190.

Oh, all right. So that's the team you gotta bet. And I like em too. They're 4 to 1 now. I guess they were like almost 8 to 1 last week, but I don't think they cut that enough that they.

Were five to one before the season. Cause I bet it after week one they went to ten to one. Eleven to one in some spots.

Yeah.

Eight to one after week two. So now it's still four to one.

Four to one. You know, whatever.

I think Seattle's a good team.

Well, we were cursing that. That coach all Thursday night on text. We were very upset with their. Their decisions. A lot of good coaches made weird decisions this week.

But I just think he's like, do you ever have those family members or friends who are just like the overprotective parents where they're just like, you're going somewhere and the kids have to be in a car seat and like, just like completely over the top. I just think that's how he treats. Got to be careful. Put Donald in a car seat. It's 33. He just. He's so scared of anything, of having the offense fuck things up. He either really believes in his defense or just doesn't understand offense because this is two out of the four weeks. He just seemed terrified to let his offense win a game for him.

Yeah. And then by the goal line making weird calls. Kenneth Walker never gets a ball at the goal line anymore. And nobody does their kickers any favors. Like everybody. Nobody wants to go for touchdowns anymore. It's like, all right, let's get him to the 36 yard line, let's see.

What he's got, let's take a break and then we're going to play more win you overs.

All right.

The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by FanDuel. FanDuel is changing the way you live bet football and it starts with Next Drive sgps. Now you can bet what's happening on Next drive would end a touchdown, a punter, a field goal. See the player stats you need, stack in player props. Build your bet exactly how you want it and every NFL game day comes with a profit boost you can use on your next drive SGP so you can get more out of every play. Whether you're betting a drive a player or the next big moment. FanDuel makes live betting feel smarter, faster and way more fun. You could have done it multiple times during that Cowboys packers overtime game. Maybe you even could have bet on a tie. I don't even know if they have that visit fanduel.com BS to download the app today and bet the next drive your way. You must be 21 + present in select states or 18 + in President, D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Opt in required bonus issued as non withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply including any token expiration max wager amount. See terms@sportsbook.fandrel.com, gamprom. Call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org tagconnecticut this episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra, the official beer partner of the NBA.

You know the NBA season's almost here when that anticipation kicks in. What trades worked, what rookies are popping, which teams might flame out by Christmas. I already had my guard up with this season because the Celtics, obviously a team in a little bit of flux. And then Jayson Tatum posted like a minute of him working out and looking really good. And it broke my brain because for the first time I was like, wow, he might actually be back in the second half of the season. What's that going to mean? Whatever happens when I'm watching all that unfold, I'm doing with the Michelob Ultra in hand. Superior light beer just 95 calories. There are a lot of moments worth playing for, but the ones that taste the best are served cold. Order Michelob Ultra and fill up your fridge as we gear up for NBA season. Cannot wait. Enjoy responsibly Copyright 2025 Anheuser Busch Michelob Ultra Light Beer, St. Louis, Missouri. All right, I have a couple more win you overs. This was my number one won me over guy. I want to see if you felt the same way. Did Ashton Genty win you over as a top six pick today?

Yeah. This. This is a departure of what we said just last week.

Right. Literally seven days ago. We were like, man, when you have that many holes, I don't know. That's a luxury. Picks, like I. I believe that when I said it.

I've watched a lot of them. He's getting blasted behind the line of scrimmage, so his bad carries are not his fault at all. I don't think for the most part that offensive line is. Is decrepit. But when he's.

Today too.

Right. But when he breaks them and he's. He's rock solid. So yeah, he's back. He's back in my eyes. Won me over.

I thought he was the best player I watched today in any of the TVs.

Wow.

He was either getting blasted behind the line and somehow fighting his way back to line of scrimmage. He was. I don't know how many guys. I can't wait for the stats. I don't know how many guys he made miss today, but it had to have been. It felt like 20. He's just so dangerous. He can catch it. I just felt like he found his footing today. I felt in the other games he just seemed kind of small to me. And today he was just like. I thought he was overpowering today. I thought he was awesome. And that was a really, really, really, really horrible Raiders loss.

Yeah. Say plays for losers, that's a problem. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm out. I had them begrudgingly as my seventh seed and it was like, do you go Jacksonville? Do you go Indy? Like, who do you have to go 9 and 8? And I was like, ah, fuck it, Vegas. They're not making the playoffs. I'm. I feel very comfortable predicting that right now.

You're out on the raise. You don't think this is a hasty decision? Wow.

Okay, now we need to. Geno has seven picks in four games, by the way.

I know.

We need to have a real combo about Pete Carroll because they're one of the three worst coach teams. They do really stupid game management stuff. They seem unprepared. They're sloppy. I just don't agree with stuff. I don't know how they beat the Pats in week one because I think the Pats are just better than Them.

When he went on third and two again setting his kicker up for a shitty long field goal. Because this is the common misconception that everybody makes field goes. Like, no, there's a bunch that are blocked and there's a bunch that just miss. You know, it still happens, but they cut away to him like right after the run play, the weak run play. And he's like, that was a bad call. He actually, you could see his mouth calls like, yeah, yes, Pete, yes. You're getting it. Yeah.

Well, I wonder like with him and Belichick, because I've been thinking about this with Belichick and we even talked about it a little last week. Like, I wrote this column for ESPN. It must have been in, I don't know, late 2000s. I did the speed limit corollary about when coaches hit 55. I remember that, that they start tailing out. And I had all this data and it was like Don Shula, Chuck Noel, Tom Lander, all these people when they hit a certain age. And then, you know, as we, we have better stuff now. We have hot tea with lemon and creatine and all these things. Hgh, all these different ways mind exercises. But maybe we're really pushing it when we get to the mid-70s. Like it might be, might be too much. And I can only judge it from the people in our life who have hit that age. And you have a few relatives in that age or higher. And it's just like, I just don't know if they should be running an NFL team against people like in their 30s, like Ben Johnson.

But then we get tricked, right? Because he's doing push ups with the special teams and training camp and he's chewing that gum faster than anybody's ever said. Like, oh man, maybe, maybe there's something in the gum and. But, but no. And the players like him. So you want to make an exception in his case. But you're right, it. Sometimes it's too old.

It's a tall task. Because it still seems like he's Pete Carroll, right? He looks young and spry, but man, they look really, really sloppy.

And I mean, this guy might be getting up at four in the morning and going to the facility every day. Like, you know, so what the hell do we know? But yeah, that they're just no different. They're never any different.

Well, the weird thing is Tennessee is definitely the worst team in the conference. Like, they're really, really terrible.

Did not win me over. Was that on your list?

I did not have them on the list. Okay, Jets Miami, one of those teams may be terrible, maybe both. And we'll probably have a better idea after tomorrow. Cincinnati without Burrow might be terrible. And then, you know, you gotta hate.

The Saints and the Panthers.

I'm talking. I'm just going afc.

Oh, sorry. Okay. Yeah.

The Browns, who their quarterback is just two, three picks every week. They might be terrible. There's just a lot of terrible. So it's surprises.

Yeah.

But yet if you go to the nfc, it's only New Orleans and Carolina that I feel like are really bad. I don't think the Giants are bad.

Giants jumped out of there.

Your team's not bad.

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what other nfc. I guess the Bears aren't bad because they win, you know, against garbage teams like mine and today.

But Tennessee is really bad. And we talked about Callahan fire tire tire. Callahan tire fires.

The Tommy Boy tire.

Yeah, the Tommy Boy Titans. Cam Ward finally laid into them. Did, did the Bears show you anything that you like today? Because they are 2 and 2. I did watch a 5 minute bears locker room handing out the game balls. Ben Johnson was like just doing a Sean McVay impersonation. Gave one to, gave one to the safety buyer, gave one to the guy who blocked the kick.

Right.

And it was like, it seemed. I told you he was doing that whole thing. And it was like, you guys, you should have lost. Like the Raiders, I don't know how they didn't win the game. Don't get too excited.

He's going to have to give one to the reporter who asked him. What are you going to change? Did you see that?

The female reporter got a little testy.

Get in trouble. Yeah, it kind of sucks because there's only one question you could ask a team, a coach that's losing coming out of the locker room and it's like, what are you going to do different? But if you word it just differently and be like, you gotta. What are you gonna change? Come on. Like, come on. What's wrong with you? You could see these guys getting mad, but no game ball.

She might, she, she maybe should have audible then done like that. So what do you think of Las Vegas? Like it's really changed, huh?

Exactly. Are you a six to five? Will you leave the table if you don't see three to two Blackjack?

Because why do you think tourism's down? What would be your three takes? I'm not sure about the Bears. I didn't think Caleb played particularly well. Their defense made a couple plays, but I just, it Was almost a case of the Raiders were just kind of worse. All right, next one. Did Drake maybe win you over? He was. He was great today.

This is maybe, though. This is why he's maybe right. What? He's got to do it. Go. Go to Buffalo next week and do something similar then because right now it's just, yeah, maybe. And I bet him over one and a half touchdowns today. I thought this was a. A nice Drake.

Definitely.

Oh, come on. That doesn't even flow still Drake, maybe. I know. I got. I can't wait to.

I can't wait to get. You got a lot of shit for that.

Well, like, oh, look what he's doing. Who was it? Jpog even on our chain is like.

Look, jbug was offended. Yeah, he didn't like that.

All right, well, we all love Drake May.

There's some good Drake May stats now about his. His stats 3 games in a row and it's like the only other QBs under 23, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. Yeah, yeah, he's on some weird lists, but you know when you can make these lists where you're like, only five other QBs have ever done this, but I mean, he's completing over 75% of his passes. He's not turning the ball over that much. He only had one dumb play today. It didn't come back to Hunt though. But the thing that I loved about him today, because you knew they were going to win once they went up 14, 6. There was a couple plays during the game. There was one play, there was a run out to the side when last year he would have put a shoulder and tried to get the extra yard and ended up getting like concussed. And then there was another one on a scrambler in the middle where he slid. But it's clear that they've just banged home. Don't take hits. Don't take hits. Don't take hits. So he was like way more cautious about how he, how he put his body out there with that.

I thought he was excellent. With that said, Carolina's terrible. I mean there were.

That's what I was going to say. If you were to create the perfect get right spot, wouldn't it be Carolina playing Carolina at home? It was great after they won a game.

Right. And the line was two points too low. The line should have been over seven, I think.

But you know, I think for Vrabel, I mean, I would have think Drake May, I'm not going to think he's terrible after this game, but Vrabel really Had a went and had this one. What do you think?

Yeah, well, here's the thing. They're going to Buffalo next week on a Sunday night and they're playing a Buffalo team that the defense just looked awful and they've had some injuries. They have two guys suspended that haven't come back yet. But New Orleans was moving the ball up and down the field on them and was way more in that game than the final score showed. I had, I had a 13 point tease with them that. Yeah, I was sweating out.

I sweat that one out too. Yeah, but.

But I just, I think they're gonna be able to move the ball on them next week. I can't wait to guess that line because I. There's like a four point cushion that I think that could go.

Oh, would you take 40, 40 tie next Sunday night? He would take a 40, 40 tie.

Would not want the ties.

Oh, stop.

Couple more win you overs really quick. Did. Did the Steelers win you over at all as a playoff team or do you think they're a rabbit team this year?

I think just by default because all these other. We just went over the AFC teams that are dropping out but they're three and one.

So they could go six and eight and make the playoffs now or six and seven and make the playoffs.

Tomlin's streak seems to be intact right at this point. Oh man.

I mean his clock management was some of the worst stuff of the season today, right?

Yeah, for sure.

So not going for it on 4th and 1 and then taking a delay game, it's like, what are you doing?

Like, what do you think they are to make the playoffs.

Plus one.

Take a sip of. Take a sip of water if you need. Minus 130. So they're favored now to be at least 9 and 8 or make.

Did you go under on them this year? Because I know I did.

Yeah, but barely. I went. I went under. I thought this was a year it breaks.

I gotta hand it to what they're getting out of Rogers. Sure. They're maximizing the three or four things he can do and he looks way better than he did last year. And. And he's just getting rid of the ball anytime he has pressure. But they have like eight, nine types of plays that they just do and it's all quick and he's getting rid of the ball. He never, he's never on the move and they know how to use it. But I think as the year goes long, I think people are going to figure it out. It's like watching.

Yeah. He's yelling with Metcalf. Better than I thought he would. Right?

Yeah. That's.

You know, all these receivers that he made the jets bring in and everything. You didn't see that spark. I kind of see it with Metcalf.

It's funny, it reminds me a little of Tua, where it's just a certain type of thing. And I think as to. The longer he's been doing, the Dolphins teams are getting more and more used to it, and I just don't think they're used to yet. With Rodgers, the ball's coming out super fast, and it's always to the sides are right over the middle. And he's never. It's just he's playing so differently than he used to play. Here's what I learned. This is what won me over. Don't bet on the overseas game. Just don't. House told me this on Thursday. We're doing it for Ringer 107. And House is like, I just want to point out we're betting on the 9:30 game. And we've said we're not going to do that. I'm like, all right. But I really love the Vikings.

Right. Well, I had the Steelers, so I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna subscribe to that just yet.

The other Guillotine league that I'm in, we had Kenneth Gainwell on our bench. We don't have good running backs. And woke up at 6:30, just. And you'd have been proud of me. I woke up, turned on TV, there was 1455 left in the first quarter. I was like.

I fucking knew.

It was like 633. And then they're like, there's Kenneth Gainwell, the starting running back because no Jaylen Warren today. And I was like, oh. And I just wonder how many people got hosed on the Jalen Warren thing. Because I got hosed by not putting Gainmo on our stupid Guillotine thing. But how many people just had Jaylen Warren in a starting lineup and woke up and he's just not there?

It's not good. It's not. Yeah. There wasn't enough heads up Saturday night for sure.

No, it wasn't Saturday night now. All right, next win you over. Did Ireland win you over as an NFL location?

I don't know. I mean, we were doing the pregame show on YouTube. You should watch that. You should watch. You should definitely start watching.

I 100% watched it. I had multiple TVs. I was watching.

It is hard. We're up against the Ryder cup and the NFL game. So I didn't see a lot of the festivities. I'm gonna have to pass on that.

Well, they did. So here's what I really loved, other than I thought the crowd was loud and engaged. Their version of Sweet Caroline in Ireland is Zombie by the Cranberries.

Oh, really?

The whole crowd sang Zombie and then weirdly after the Ryder cup, they're in the bus, all the foreign team, European team, and they're singing Zombie on the bus to Rory McIlroy. Shane Lowry's leading it. This is like the biggest day Zombies had in 30 years. Yeah. Huge Zombie guys. Makes sense as like, like crowdside. I mean it's. If you read the lyrics, it's pretty depressing. It's a weird one to sing.

Yeah. And you got the. Yeah, you got the crowd. Yeah, I guess they did a great job. It's better than Sweet Caroline.

Yeah, the fantasy guys had a great time. Did Puka Nakua win you over as the new best wide receiver in the league? Because I think it's official. I think he has the belt.

Here's what I'll say about was he at 42 receptions in four games or something for 503.

Yeah, four games.

I think. I used to think McCaffrey is the one guy. If he's not in the lineup, I don't want anything to do with betting that team. Now I think league wide, I think it's Puka Nakua. Like if he's out, I don't know that any situation that I'd bet the Rams. This guy is just such a. Such a godsend for this team. And Stafford, 42 receptions.

You know what's crazy? It's all types of catches and plays. Like if you do like the montage of his, he'll beat somebody down the sideline. He'll have a crosser, he'll have a bubble screen. He'll have like a little 10 yarder in traffic. Like he. He's just amazing. I agree with you. I. What's cool about him versus Chaser Jefferson is you feel like those guys aren't going to be the same if they have the backup qb. And I think with Puka, I honestly feel like with any QB he'd go for like 8 for 90 at this point. Yeah, he's just a monster. He was awesome. That game was awesome. You mentioned the Mitchell thing before. The Colts past defense is going to be their Achilles heel if they're going to actually make a playoff run. It's really bad to give up an 88 yarder to lose the game, basically. And, and their fans will remember that one as the Mitchell.

Yeah. Jaden Daniels, obviously a much better athlete than Danny Dimes at this point, but the, the teams, the last year's Washington team and this year's Colts. Washington didn't punt for like three weeks. Right. Remember last year and the Colts punted once in the first three games. And you just wonder when that's going to end. You know, it was like it just. It had to. They had to be slapped around even though they should have won today.

It was a. If you had the Colts either Moneyline or plus whatever, like, that was a pretty tough beat because they, they hung. That was a 50, 50 game. I thought that Taylor when on the holding penalty where they run that guy, he's just so fucking fast. He's never looked better or faster. The Mitchell touchdown was awesome. Right. So you lose 14 points of plays. That just swings it. That was.

And a lot of big plays go against him. Yep.

I will say I'm afraid of the Colts. Like I'm. I, I didn't really. I had the Rams like in a. Like a, like a tease situation, but I didn't. I don't really like betting against the Colts. I. They kind of scare me. I think Warren's terrifying.

Yeah. He's going to score touchdowns from the backfield. It's not good.

He's a team. Last one win you over. Did Dax Jackson Dart win you over at all? And did you watch the game today with any Giants fans and win over?

Oh, yeah.

What was that?

Well, their takes was screaming at me for having the Chargers on a teaser, which I guess House and everybody warned us again. And then I doubled on the second half. You didn't do that?

No, I completely stayed away from the Chargers.

Darted off. Neighbors is out. Neighbors is out. And darts. Banging his hand against the helmets. Not even one of the soft helmets. And then, you know, I was like, oh, man, they're down three. They're going to win this game. But that defense was much better than we've seen in the past. And Scatter Boo. I mean, I see a ton of Scatterbo jerseys out here. Like, just like. I think they like him more than like any prospect of dart. I don't even think they care if he gets like 700 yards and five touchdowns. He's the guy.

Well, that, I mean, the first 45 minutes of that game for the Giants fans, that was like the greatest. And then neighbors goes hurt.

I think that's a bummer.

Losing young Beckham and then losing young neighbors with season ending injuries. Fucking sucks.

I hadn't thought about.

That's like completely unfair because at both, at these awesome points of their career where it just seemed like every time they're throwing it up to him, it felt like anything was possible. The Giants just, they've just had so much bad luck. But I do think Dart, even when he went out, he had this great scramble and they took him out for I guess the concussion spotter. And Russ came in and you feel the crowd was like, oh no, Russ. Like they, they just have to wave him.

But no, it seems like they must be like, what? I got to put Russ in now.

Shit.

I'm never going to be able to figure out this quarterback gauntlet. I'm going to be jobless.

I'm right here. Right here.

Yeah, right.

That draft though, because Carter was awesome today. They had 20 pressures of the Chargers. But that. That's a different conversation. Is the Chargers O line alt got hurt which was the biggest injury that happened today other than neighbors. He's out for a few weeks. It seems like they already lost.

It's an ankle injury. They said a few weeks already.

They said they were worried that it was going to be at least a couple weeks. So who knows. But you know that maybe that's the team. One of these teams, Colts, Chargers, not one of these three. And oh, teams went up not making the playoffs. I'll be like, oh, it was three. And oh, I just.

We can't give them the division just yet. Like we, like a lot of people were with the Chargers last week.

All right, some. Just some random questions from some of the other games. Philly, who died in the heat. And you could feel that one coming. That was a great second half bet. They kept talking about the heat. They kept talking about how the Eagles bench was baking in the sun and it's like. And then you know, they cutting over. The guys are dying. But. So Baker almost came back, but they just didn't have enough weapons. But Chase McLaughlin made a 65 yard field goal today in that game. What distance would actually impress you at this point with a field goal? Because 20 years ago, like I went to see the Broncos play in the late 90s with our buddy Gus and we saw elam kick a 63 yarder and it was in altitude. But it was like that. We just couldn't believe it. It was like the fucking moon landing. Just couldn't believe how far it was. And now this is. So how far is it over 70 for you? That would get Your attention. What's the number 72.

That was the outdoor record, right? Today, 65 was the outdoor record. And you're right. Like, we just moved on to the next one.

Like, we wouldn't even be in the top 40 minutes of the sports center. 70 with 70.

I remember when Janikowski would do this, right? And you like, oh, maybe they should take a false start. They're not winning any games this year anyway. Maybe they should take a false start right before the half and he should kick it from. Let him break the record. I think 70. 71 or 72. I think we're in the Barry Bonds range here. It's got to be like, Aubrey.

Aubrey will have a seven day at one point, right?

Yeah, I think so.

I just understand. I don't understand how this. I know. They did something with the balls, right? They did. You can massage your own balls and put.

Weird. Whoa. Hey. Yeah. No, it seems like it's for sure. You could tush push. You can massage your balls. You could do it all.

Here's another one. So Bijan had a 69 yard catch today, and they made a big deal about how he was 21.85 miles an hour on the run, right? And then that Steelers linebacker caught Addison from behind, and they were like, oh, he was 21.3. When did this start and when and how did. How could it end? When can this stop?

Oh, you don't like it. You don't like it.

I don't mean to be, you know, a fart in church on this, but the difference between 20 miles an hour and 21 miles an hour, like, is I'm going to be telling my grandkids about, oh, he got to 22.

I don't know.

Who cares?

You like it in your car, though, right? You like the odometer? You like being able to tell how.

Fast I'm going 21 miles an hour in my car. I'm fucking pissed. Somebody's. There's some old lady in front of me.

I thought it was cool with the Eagles blocking the kick. I didn't think it was cool because I lost money on it with the Rams, but the fact that they clocked that guy at 19. So for 300 pounders running 19. Yeah, but you're right, otherwise, I don't know the difference between 20 and 19.

20. Just when you're driving around the next couple of days in Uber, just like, oh, 36. Oh, now we're going 37. Like, these numbers are all around the same.

Yeah.

Like, if somebody was going 25. I'd be like, bjam Robinson ran 25 miles an hour. That's amazing. But it seems like it's all in the 21, 22. I don't know. Maybe I'm too old.

I think we have to be, I don't know, like what an ostrich runs. I want to compare it to animals. I think then maybe we'd be more. More impressed, you know, like.

Oh, like show. Like a bobcat.

Yeah, like a cheetah or a bobcat.

I want to see, like, a black bear.

They call tyrique the cheetah. Right. But it's. A cheetah's probably a lot faster, isn't it?

I would assume. I think a cheetah to be educated. Miles an hour.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, so they do the miles an hour thing, but heat is more interesting to me because they were like, It's 90, but it's really 100 degrees on the field. It's like, well, how hot is it exactly on the field? And that's where instead of Mike Pereira, let's go to some sort of scientist and be like, okay, Jordan Davis is 330 pounds. It's 100 degrees outside. So the odds of him being dehydrated in two hours is actually like 90%. What they're going to have to do is give him oxygen. Now I'm actually learning something.

I like that you're telling me the.

Difference between this guy runs 22 miles an hour and this guy runs 21 and a half. Like, great. What do I care?

Yeah. Bill Simmons water is 108 degrees. If he throws a lemon in there, it goes down.

See, I'm drinking hot water and I have a lot of energy for the pod. Maybe I know something more. Washington Falcons notes. I won the. I won money in the Falcons and their offense looked Great. They scored zero points last week. They had 435 yards this week. Washington is banged up. I think Penix is the new geno because I feel like we're about to lose. Geno feels like we're the end of Geno's career.

We lost.

Geno's gone. But I think Penix is going to be the new Geno where game to game, it's just going to be like fucking. It's like when we go to Bianco's and he's like, I've created a new pizza. I'm just going to bring it out. It's like, anything's possible. Oh, this is like your olive artichoke pizza. I don't know if I like this. Oh my God. He did pepperoni and sun dried tomatoes and.

Right.

I just think that's panics. I think that's.

I bet on Bianco much faster than I do Penix. I mean I had it today.

I don't believe you.

This is the most effed up team maybe even for years now. Right. Like they. But all right, the first game was legit. They the kicker missed a field goal and we're used to that. Right. They lost to Tampa Bay. Then they beat up Minnesota on the night game. The Sunday night shut out by Carolina. You just get a completely different team every week. Yeah.

You just have to assume they're the zigzag team.

Yeah. They should call the pits because it's like the drama of one to start. Kyle Pitts, it's the new drama. The pits scored a touchdown.

He's been doing stuff this season.

I know.

Well, the funniest thing with the Falcons is Washington scores. Cut it to seven. Falcons come back down. And now they're in the mode where it's like they could either go for the kill, get a touchdown or probably settle and take it easy. Kick a field goal. It's like three minutes left less so they play it easy and they're playing for a field goal. And because it's the Falcons, you just assume something horrible is going to happen. And I was trying to think of any other team, maybe the Chargers in the AFC is like that because they have that juju too. But just like I was just like this is definitely getting blocked. This is going to be a tie game. Like you just go to your mind with the Falcons goes to the worst case at all times. This time they kicked the field goal.

They won.

But weren't you thinking the same thing? It's like, oh, it's the Falcons. They're going to fuck this up.

And they also look so much faster. I know you don't like speed or anything, but don't they look faster at home on their turf? Like I see Bijan and I see London. I'm like, these guys should be scoring every single game. Instead they settle for field goals. And with guys they cut two weeks later.

I wish we knew how fast each guy was going.

You hate that. It's going to be a Madden rating soon enough.

Could Darnell mooney get to 20 miles an hour? I'm on the edge of my. Tell me later. Couple more quick things. Flacco is six picks. The Browns are pretty boring to watch offensively even though they have some decent Weapons. Because that Judkins guy might actually be good. Can. Can they just make Shadora the starter for content? Like, do that for us? The tv. The daily TV shows need it. The podcast need gives. Like, anecdotally, we have stuff like. Just. Just do it.

I have to say how fast he runs first. No, I think you're right. Yeah.

For sure. 19 miles an hour.

If you could get to 19 miles an hour, we'll give you the ball. You get the game ball.

He should race Joe Flacco.

Flacco was weird because his first two starts he dropped back like 90 times.

Right.

Like, oh, we're going to see like a poor man's Baker Mayfield here. Right. And maybe it'll work and maybe it won't, but. Yeah, well, if they're not scoring in Detroit or against these other teams, it's. It's not good.

Well, that's the other thing with the miles an hour. They never do it for the slow guys.

Right.

Like Flacco chasing down somebody. Interceptions. Like Flacco. 13 miles an hour. Pretty rough.

That would be funny. They got to do that.

People in their 80s do that. Yeah. Oh, Pat's Panthers is my last thing for you. So, remember, we did this. We've done this the last couple years where we try to figure out what's going to be the weirdest result of the season. Like at the end of the year when we're like, what happened that way? What was that? I think it might be Panthers 30, Falcon 0. I think is going to go down as the weirdest game. Right?

Yeah, I think so, too. Right.

Yeah.

The Panthers will end up with, what, four or five wins? And the Falcons should be around seven or eight or nine, you know? Yeah, I think you're right.

I bet the Panthers. I think it's going to be less than that. The other one was. Who did that? The Browns 13, Packers 10 might be up there, too. We should keep track of this.

No, no. Yeah. That's the last time the packers didn't give up 50 points. Maybe.

Who do you like in Dolphins, jets and Broncos? Bengals tomorrow.

You know, I have. I let the bundle pick for our ring of 107. So we have the Bengals plus the points. But I'd be lying to you if I didn't have Denver on a couple Moneyline parlays to close out. Right. And then the other one, I really don't know. I'm really not sure what the this is. This spells someone could get fired. Maybe not Bianco.

Mystery pizza game.

Someone's getting Demoted and a pizza slapped in their face from this game.

Remember when Bianco brought out that market pizza and it was like the greatest thing either of us had ever eaten. We were just like.

That's what the.

It was like all these vegetables on it. And it was like. We were just like. Oh, it was like descended from the gods. I don't think Dolphins, jets is going to be like that. All right, we're going to take. We're going to take a break and then we're going to guess the lines. Then we have to. A couple other things, too. All right, guess the Lions, bye weeks. Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Chicago, Green Bay. We're finally at the bye week. You're already getting sad that the season's almost over. We're only four weeks.

Yeah, a little bit. They don't need buys. Come on, everybody play every week for 12 months.

Well, the problem with this one is we losing a couple entertaining teams this week. Yeah, you can feel it in the. In the lineup. So Thursday night, Ram, Rams, Niners. Good Thursday night game. That is a good one in Los Angeles. And I have the Rams by three.

So this is 2 NFC west in a row on Thursday night. Yeah, you have three. You're going to get this. I had two and a half. I believe it's three and a half, unless it changed. It's three and a half.

We should mention you won the first two weeks. I won the next two weeks.

I know you're going to win this week. I'm so awesome. Really? I think so. My miles per hour way down this week.

Probably. The pizza.

Yeah.

How much pizza have you had in Brooklyn? How many days have you been there?

Got here Friday night. There's a place a half mile away that's excellent. And they're open till 1am so that's bad for me. Then went to Grimaldi's yesterday, and then walking back, our friend Tony says, holy shit, there's an LNB right across the street from Grimaldi's. So we did the bang, bang. And so. Yeah, it's a lot. Then I had another slice this morning. Yeah, it's not good. You may not see me again. This could be it.

Hey, there's a London game, the Vikings, they lost to Pittsburgh and they were told, you can't leave now. You have to stay. We're taking your passports. And they're playing the Cleveland Browns, who can't really move the ball offensively. Right. But I think Carson Wentz is probably playing again. This is either three or three and a half. I went back and Forth I did Vikings minus three.

All right. I got it exact. I hit it. Three and a half is the answer. It went down from four and a half, actually. This is rough. This is a rough one.

Defense is good. Like the Browns defense. If it's Carson Wentz again with all those guys. If. If the center is missing and the right tackle is missing on the Vikings D, that's going to be a lot of trouble for them because that Browns front four is. Is Beastie.

It's tough on the west coast waking up for two bad quarterbacks, isn't it? Like if it's going to be Wentz and Flacco again.

That's why you got to do this is when you do Shador this week.

Yeah.

Or even Dylan Gabriel. We could be like, oh, look how short he is. Sunday marquee. I I have Seahawks bucks as the best Sunday game.

It's good.

It's a good game. I here's the case. Every game the Bucks play, it goes down to the final three minutes. Baker's really fun. Igbuko always makes fun play. I think Bucky Irving is a top five running back now, right?

Tremendous. So it's such a great burst for him.

Yeah. He's fucking incredible. And I like watching the Seahawks defense. I'm going to put this is in Seattle. I'm going to say Seattle minus one and a half.

Oh, it's Seattle minus three. And what did I have? You moved it on me. Oh, I had one and a half also. So we tied.

So Seattle minus three.

Seattle minus three.

Yep. So Seattle's finally getting some respect.

Yeah, I guess it's a long. It's a shorter or longer rest for them. Right. Tampa Bay still injuries. They are unbelievable. They had two gigantic. How long were the both their touchdowns Buka and like so long. And then two of the longest field goals we've ever seen. They were right back in that game. I was like kind of getting mad. I had the Eagles.

We both loved that Buka. It was the only player prop bet I made was his over and it was like 680 yards or something. He'll probably have that by mid October. Two watchables. Not a good sign for us for Sunday. Eagles Broncos in Philadelphia. I mean, honestly, the Eagles might be banned from the watchables category if really if they don't get their shit together. You can't have a game where you have zero completions in the second half. Their fans are just furious constantly when we're they and it's like they have to have the game get to where there's a somebody has a 17 point lead before they're interested in whatever the proceedings are.

Can I make a. This is going to sound like bitter Sal and it really, really is. There's no way other way to describe it. If you're going for the tush push, you should have to declare you're going for the tush push. It shouldn't be an option that you could flip it back to the tailback who has nothing but daylight and runs it in like it should be. Like the onside kick we're going to get. Let this lunacy fly. I didn't like that.

I like it. Well this line could move depending on how the Broncos look tomorrow night. But for the short term it's in Philadelphia and I have Eagles by four.

We split it. I said five. It's four and a half. Come on Denver. Play tough. Play tough here.

Pretty important Bo Nicks game tomorrow night.

Yeah.

Because if he sucks again, that's an entire month of him sucking and then.

Going.

The stat that he. What was he? 35 out of 36 for the rated quarterbacks. Yeah. Not great. The only other watchable game I have which might not be watchable if Mariota is the QB is Chargers. Washington in la and I have the Chargers favored by three and a half because I see I went way high.

I said five. I didn't even think about the Daniels thing. In my mind he's out another week but I guess he was almost ready. Wednesday you get it. It's three Chargers by three.

This will be a nice little test for how many Chargers like our theory that the Chargers crowds are getting better.

Yeah.

Because Washington old school NFC team. There's a lot of transplants here. I'll be interested to see what the breakdown is. But I've been impressed by the Chargers fan base.

Yeah. They could step up even further this week.

Fairly watchables. I had to put Colts Raiders in here because you just know that game's going to be absolutely unhinged. I'm prepared for anything. I had put this in the had to put it in the Vegas zone. Colts five and a half.

I said four and a half. It's six and a half so you'll get that one. I don't know. I know we buried Geno here but could you see this stupid shit here?

I think this is where he needs to be getting almost a touchdown on the road is when he finally gets his sea legs right. He doesn't like these games where they're either favored or they're minus one and a half. He needs to be like a dog.

Yeah.

I think this is a. Let's be careful. Do not put the Colts in a tease game would be my recommendation.

I'm with you. I'm going to. I hope I stick to that. I think, you know, maybe Crosby like plants. Danny Dimes. Indiana Jones. What do we want to call him now? A couple times.

Maybe he's like South Indiana Jones. Ravens home for the Texans with a bunch of injuries on the Raven side and Houston's defense through a shutout today. Now you. You said that counts in our league. I didn't see points for it because.

I had to start with 13 points and if so, what, you want a bonus also for getting a. We're playing each other in fantasy.

Yeah. So if you get a zero, you give a. Defense gets a shutout. I should get more points.

Not against the Titans. That's not even. That's hard.

There's like 10 shutouts. Is there five shutouts a year?

How many bonus points do you want?

I think it should be like four points.

Oh, it's close. Four. We have a close game.

What do we have tomorrow? I have Tyreek Hill and you have two people.

I have do have two people. Sorry. Let me pull it up here.

Riveting content for this. This is almost as. Can you do this as we figure out how fast you run?

All right, you're up 11. You're going to how my favorite here. You're up 11. You have Tyree kill. I have HN and Garrett Wilson. Oh, you're going to win. Oh, Dale, are you favored? I'm favored. They have HN projected for 16 points. That's stupid. Stop it.

CBS Ravens. Texans in Baltimore have Ravens minus four.

Wait, what do we say? Oh, Ravens minus four.

Okay.

Yeah, I said five and a half. It's seven.

Oh, I don't agree with that at all.

Well, now it's a must win. Shit. They're both one and three, huh?

But the Texans have a good defense though. Like as ugly as their offenses. Their defense can hang around. Last one is Lions. Bengals. It's in Detroit. And I think. I think they add the half point on this. I was going to say seven, but I think they bump it. I think it's seven and a half to true.

I was way, way off on this. It's eight and a half. I said. I said five and a half. So you. You said seven. Yeah. You got it.

Four fecta games.

Yep.

Giants at Saints with no neighbors. It's a bad one. And yet I think it'll. I might make a multi view for me. Has anyone planted their flag on the Saints are fun corner? Because they were fun in this Buffalo game.

That's all you. You could have that one. You know, I thought that too. I mean, you said they went up and down the field. How many passing yards you think Rattler had?

Is it. Was it an optical illusion? What was it?

126. And they were playing catch up the whole time.

How many did they rush for?

I don't know. I think Kamara had a decent day. But to say that like Rattler, I don't, I don't. I don't get the team that I'm watching there. Yeah.

I mean, in my defense, I'm watching six TVs at once. And every time I looked on the right tv, it seemed like they were.

Moving the ball, they were getting closer.

Jets, Cowboys.

Wait, I don't think we did the Giants.

Giant, Saints. I have Giants one and a half.

I had Giants by two. It is one and a half. It is that. Tic tac.

Tic tac.

Well, this, if they're going to win one game, the Saints, this has got to be it, isn't it?

This should be one of the ones you have circled.

I don't think they're favored in any other game. Not that they're favored in this one.

But it's got to be the closest Giants pass rush. Scatterbow. Has Damoshek tried to pronounce his name yet?

Scatterbo.

Scatterbell. And then in a Jackson dart scramble. I think that's enough for the Giants, right? I wouldn't bet that game. Jets home for the Cowboys. Wow. So I. I'll keep my guess, man. I don't know if the Cowboys tonight swung it, but I had jets minus one and a half.

No, I think you're. Yeah, I had Cowboys minus one and a half. It's. It's two and a half.

Cowboys favor. Yeah. Yep. I should have. I should have changed that, but I was trying to keep what I had before. Cowboys two and a half.

Wow. We tied that game. I was just thinking. I was just about to go through my. We lost. We're coming off a loss. But we tied. We actually tied that game tonight. Shit.

It was like a moral victory for Jerry. This is another poop factor game. Dolphins, Panthers in Carolina. I think the Dolphins have to be favored by three. And that's where I landed.

That's exactly what I have. And I'm looking. They're favored by one and A half. Oh, how the Miami's have fallen. That is brutal. That's the worst team in the league and they're favored by one and a half over them.

McMillan was open a lot against the Pats today and Bryce did not find him that often. And he was starting to get that Larry FITZGERALD Late, early 2000s. Body language.

Right.

Remember when Fitzgerald had bad quarterbacks for like five years in a row? Yeah, it used to be open and then the ball would like sail that way. There's a couple of those at McMillan today. And he was like, oh, my God, really? Last poop factor Cards Titans in Arizona. And amazingly, this has to go over seven. And I think it. I think it has to be seven and a half for Arizona.

Man, I was way off on this. I said five and a half. I was not impressed with Arizona. It's nine and a half.

Yeah, I think. I think that's the price for the Titans. Jeez, that's too high though. Arizona should not be favored by that many against anybody.

That's unbelievable. I mean, it's just. They don't trust the kid on the road. Is that it? I mean, Kyler was not impressive for 2 hours and 20 minutes of that game.

I saw there was something on online about Ryan Clark five years ago was arguing about Kyler Murray versus Lamar Jackson.

Oh, wow.

And he was like, way in on Kyler Murray. And he was like, let me tell you something. Kyler Murray will win a Super bowl before Lamar Jackson, mark my words. And was all in. And I was thinking like, that's a bad one to have. But we all have those.

Sure.

Those ones where it's like, what? And it's like, oh, my God, I can't believe what's your worst one? Because that's gotta be his worst one.

You know, I said Bill is too manly to ever drink hot water with a lemon and now I look freaking foolish. I don't know. That's a good question. Just like saying a player is going to be great and he didn't turn.

Out because I have some bad ones in print.

We could just go to Reddit. We could just go to Reddit and find out.

I was trying to think, what's my single worst one? But I think it. I think since I've been on video, I think it's James Wiseman that. That was a great. A great pick for the warriors and really liking that pick.

Right.

I think that might be my single worst one.

It might be a basketball. Yeah, it'll have to be a basketball one. You have.

This would be a great podcast where each. Each episode, somebody just comes in and they go over their. Their most regrettable take they've ever had.

Right, right. I like that. Did James Wiseman win you over? My James Wiseman pick?

I had a borderline talking about Mac Jones, but I. I didn't really.

I was gonna say that for you.

Come out and say it. That I thought he was like a. I was, like, skirting like, that he was a possible MVP candidate if they were good. But we always say that anytime we.

Think you didn't buy the jersey. You didn't buy the jersey, so you held back.

I think Wiseman, I think, is my least favorite one.

Yeah, I have to think of mine all time.

I've had some worse, though, in the column.

Would it be basketball? But most of them be basketball.

Mostly basketball. Like draft wins. There was a Dame Lillard, Austin Rivers one that was pretty bad. Bad. They should take an Austin Rivers. There was like a. There was an Ameca Okafor versus Dwight Howard. I think I took Team Okafor.

Yeah, it's all right. We talk a lot about this.

We're not going to bat a thousand.

Well, it's like saying I never had a bad meal. What was the worst meal you ever had? Like, oh, yeah, yeah. You gotta.

You have to eat. It's gonna happen Sunday night. Bills Patriots in Buffalo.

Let's do it.

Let's fucking go. I really think the Pats can hang in this game.

Oh, boy.

I think they're going to jack the line. I think this could be Bills minus eight and a half.

Wow, look at you go. Bills minus eight and a half is right. I said so. I thought they put it in that good. You know, the decent difference between division foes, but had to be seven. But eight and a half is. That's up there. You think it's.

No, I think. I don't think the Bills. I think that's a lot of, like, people that haven't watched the two teams the last couple of weeks. Pats have a good special teams. Pats can block. Pat's defense is okay. I didn't like how open McMillan was, but, you know, you're on a Sunday night against Josh Allen. It's a pretty tall task, but I think they can hang around in that game more because of the Bills. Like, think about Bills opening week against Baltimore, where Baltimore's 1 and 3 and then go through all Detroit like, they couldn't stop them. I don't think their defense can. You know, I just don't think.

Yeah, maybe not. I don't want to read into this one too much. Maybe the Saints is tough to get up for.

Cook is. Cook's turned into a monster, too. I don't. I wouldn't have him top five, but probably top seven. Top eight range for running backs.

He's fun. He moves the chains. Really? There's no more chains anymore, but he moves them.

You think he can get to 21 miles an hour? I haven't checked to see. Does he have like a 21 and a half in him? Maybe.

That tush push for hertz was only 0.4 miles an hour. What fun football Monday night.

Really good game. Probably the best game of the Sunday. Monday. Chiefs at Jags. Nice little tester for the Jags. 3 and 1, Chiefs 2 and 2. The Chiefs are obviously going to be favored. And I put this in the tic tac zone at Chiefs minus one and a half.

Yeah, I said three and a half. It is three.

Oh, you win that one.

You won the week, though. That was seven for me and like 10 for you. Three in a row. Not good.

Chiefs minus three. That's a little high.

We're going to take Jacksonville on a teaser.

That's. I'm just saying that's a little high.

Yeah, it's reactionary for sure.

Interesting that the Chiefs were plus two and a half against Baltimore at home, but now they're minus three at Jacksonville. But I don't think Baltimore is better than Jacksonville right now, do you?

Right. No, I don't. I will say if they're thriving with the turnover. Jacksonville is. Mahomes is a little smarter. And I know some of these could be freak turnovers, but is Mahomes just a little smarter and more careful? You don't see him.

It is what I knocked. Yeah, you bet the Jags. And then at some point you realize you bet Trevor Lawrence over Patrick Mahomes.

Yeah, Right.

And you feel really stupid. Yeah.

All right, so stay away.

All right. I win that week. Let's take one more break. And then we got to talk about baseball and Ryder cup and Brooklyn quick. All right. Baseball. So the murder of the Mets season, they were just. It was like while you were sleeping and the Mets were just Peter Gallagher waiting to wake up and the Mets fans were going there every day to go see him. And then the Mets just died.

I didn't see it.

Moving on. Happy ending.

Not watching it. Yeah, that sucked. I mean, just the way it all went down. You let the Marlins beat you and shut you out and they take A team picture like, they just won the nlcs. Like, it was disgusting. It's not how I thought it would go. I thought we would blow out the Marlins today and the Reds would win in the last inning, you know, and then the Cowboys would get killed and that would be my day.

But the Mets lost and the Cowboys tied.

Yeah, right. I wonder what that would have paid. I mean, they were almost the first team to have a losing record after being 20 plus games over.500. It's one of the most disappointing seasons of my life here. Like, you know, especially with like Soto, 43 homers. 105, almost had 40 stolen bases. Pete 38, 120. Like, where is it? Like, we have one pitcher with 10 plus wins. And I get it where teams, if you root for the Pirates, that they never spend money. But there's something to be said about a team that spends $341 million. I know you get to watch great players perform well sometimes, but when you never win a World Series, it's like it feels like that attempt to compete is futile. Like, right. Like, how much would we have to spend? I hate it. I hate it all.

40 years for you.

Yeah. Yeah. 86. It'll be 40.

The thing is, if they made the playoffs, do you think they would have won four straight rounds and won the World Series?

No. So that was the thing. So going into the weekend, I'm like, all right, what are we going to do when three against the Marlins and then two out of three against. We're going to win five out of six in the next week. So, yeah, it's probably better just to not watch them.

Well, my team made it. You're psyched, which makes no sense because we traded our best player and then our new best player, who is fucking awesome. Roman Anthony gets hurt, misses the last month this season. I don't think he's going to be available for it. Certainly doesn't seem like he's going to be available this week. I think Hench said we've used 35 pitchers.

Wow.

We had 10 of the worst losses you can imagine and somehow finished 89 and 73. And now we're playing the Yankees and we have Crochet, who's an absolute fucking beast. Who's the best pitcher in the American League?

I'm surprised you're an underdog. I'm looking at that now. You're an underdog in that game.

In the game one. We're an underdog.

Yeah. He's plus 112.

Oh, wow.

Max Freed. Yeah.

I Think the key is if they can, if they can win game one and it's just a Crochet and Chapman game and they don't use Whitlock and they can save Whitlock for game two. I think they can win the series. If they have to use all of those guys for game one. I think that gets really tough. And then Baio hasn't looked as good the last. I would say the last probably month or so. He's the game two guy. The Yankees have more talent. I mean the Red Sox have just lost too many people. It's. I, I just wish we, we had Anthony. If we had Anthony I would be like heads up.

Yeah. But a lot of these don't go three games. You know, they just go the two. So this is so huge crochet pitch. I'm really surprised that he's an underdog. And like, you know, I say to JJ John Jastremski was a Yankee fan. I'm like, is it really a home. The Yankees have home field advantage much anymore? Like bro, I'd much rather play this game in Yankee Stadium. Than I'm like yeah, no, I get it. But I don't. I think this is, this is definitely a winnable game for you. Game one.

Well, they're, they're starting two lefties in a row and, and I actually like when we go against lefties. That Schlitler really scares me. I'm kind of hoping we don't see him. And have you seen him?

Yeah, a little bit of him. Yeah.

I had him on Hench and I had him on our AL keeper team too. They like he was a legitimate stud. I thought for sure they would pitch him at home in Game 2. But maybe, maybe the days rest didn't work but so they got Radon is doing game two against Baio. Anyway. I'm trying, I'm already have my guard up because the Yankees I just think have a better team and if the Red Sox lose, we just point to the Devers trade and we and Anthony being hurt and Casas got hurt in the first month of season and we're like ah, but if we beat them, it's so embarrassing for them. Oh yeah, with like Ref Snyder like these. I mean it's like Nathaniel Lowe who basically picked up off waivers, played first base. Like that would be a crazy loss by them.

You're in great shape if you win that first game. Yeah, Yankees -178 for the series.

Who do you think is going to win the World Series?

You know what I'M going to. I'm going to say.

Or am I stepping on your Tuesday podcast?

Yeah, let me think about it. But it's going to take. It's still going to take. Even though the relief pitching is really faltered, it's going to take a lot to knock the Dodgers off, I think. I don't think they have the relievers.

I don't think they have the relievers.

Yeah, everybody goes two innings, though, on these. Remember, you're looking at different baseball here. I mean, that what the Tigers did, it would have been so much better if there are no wild cards. That would have been maybe the biggest collapse of our Life. We're up 10, 12 games at the end of August.

I know. I thought the best team I saw, the best team the Red Sox played all year was the Padres. Just from like watching them. And they just kept bringing these guys in to throw 100 miles an hour. They lost one of them after we played them. But.

But you talk about speed.

That's.

That's something that we're not. You asked, like, what kind of kick would impress me. Guys throw 102 now and we don't even. The broadcasters don't even mention it at all.

Yeah, the Sox, they have the best starter in the series. They have a really good setup guy and a really good closer. But I don't trust the lineup. I think I'd be surprised if they beat the Yanks even with the crochet piece. But I'm excited to have baseball.

It's fun.

Tuesday, Wednesday, a couple years. Yeah, I like that. It's three in a row, too. Four games come out at 3 o' clock there. Are you going to be able to see anything or you're doing the. You're there for Jimmy's show.

Yeah, I'm there. Someone offered me tickets. I'm not. Not watching those dumb teams. But yeah, you get the Dodgers and Red Sox. Yankees get the night slots. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

How much Ryder cup did you follow?

A lot. Until today. I really didn't watch. I was so, like, you know, I bet Europe. I listen to House. House is going to pretend he's upset about the Americans. He had Europe.

He's so not upset. He had so many. So much Europe.

Have you ever had a friend like a bet for so long and it worked? I think in February, he was talking about Europe winning the Ryder Cup.

He kept putting more on it. It was like, listen to somebody who loved AI stock in 2020. Just kept buying more of it. Yeah. And then he had to pretend he was really upset that America choked. So I didn't have it on. I had the six games on. It was actually seven. But I had a split screen and didn't have the rider on until. I don't know. At some point it was like, hey, I think my dad texted me. So then I put it on. And there was a moment where it seemed like they really had a chance. Like when. When Henley was up one heading into the 18th and.

Right.

And if it felt like he was gonna just take it. And everything else is pretty even. You start doing the math and you're like, holy shit. But then Shane Lowry, my biggest problem with the Ryder cup is most of my favorite golfers were on the team. Yeah. Which I think a lot of people feel that way. Like, I love Roy McElroy. I really like Shane lettering.

They can't get dual.

I like John Rom. Yeah. I even like Victor Hovland. But the only guy I really liked in the American team is J.J. spahn.

Yeah. Really? You don't like Offer? Well, Scotty's so much fun to watch.

You know, he's all right. He's fine.

I didn't really like him on Friday.

And Saturday when he would go for four. Thomas. Thomas had a good one.

You would have gotten killed betting Scheffler. Friday. Inside, like, everything, he was like minus 180. But it wasn't always his fault with the pairings. But that's. That's where all the. The money went for sure.

But oh, my favorite guy, Fleetwood. That was another guy on the team.

Yeah.

I was so. I was like, pushing again. I didn't end up betting anything on it.

The fans are brutal. I had no idea, like, I read afterwards what they're doing to Rory. And like, Rory, like, going into the weekend was good natured. Remember that? That heckler was like, hey, Rory. He was like buttoning his shirt. He's like, rory, you don't need a button to choke. And he's like, ah, good one. He, like, laughed. Yeah. And by the end, he's like, you. These guys are all looking at these.

Guys off at everybody like a big.

Bear, like, screaming at these fans. And then. Yeah, it's. Yeah. I don't think it's. I was saying, like, people like, oh, no, you have to have so much money to enter these events. You're not going to get the wise ass. Typical New Yorker. But yeah, you did. Yeah. There's wise asses that got lucky with hedge funds. That's all it is. They have enough money and just screaming their heads Off.

Well, you know what the great equalizer was? Was alcohol.

Oh, yeah.

Like maybe they weren't wise asses at 9 in the morning.

Right?

Baby doll went our. Speaking of our beloved, he was there on Saturday and left early. I couldn't find out if he helicoptered in and out.

I think he just rode the smoke from his cigarettes over. Yeah, that's a good question. Well, he lives like 20 minutes from there.

Okay, so he drove it?

Yeah.

Yeah, baby. I helicoptered. Anyway, before we do Parent Corner. Well, should we do Agent Corner after Parent Corner or we want to do Parent Corner first?

Are we really going to. Is that going to be our bombshell? The agent car?

Yeah, we'll do a bombshell later. Today's Parent Corner, brought to you by Scout Motors. Less screen time, more doing. Making, building, exploring. Scout Motors creating for the next generation. Enter the Scout terran scout traveler, engineer for a future that's hands on a little Muddy. With advanced four wheel drive, available locking differentials, optional 35 inch tires, and a projected thousand pound feet of torque, they'll give playtime a whole new meaning. Join the wait list at Scout Motors. What do you have?

All right, I'm getting my hair cut the other day and this guy Graham, good guy, cuts my hair. Cuts Harrison's hair too. And Jag, my son's. And Archie when he's around and he says to me, he's like, hey, I hear Harrison wants to be a Cowboys fan. I was like, what? He's like, yeah, he's going to be. He's a Cowboys fan. I'm like, oh, holy shit. I was like really, like stunned by this, you know, because like, he was always like, whoever won the Chiefs when He was young, 7 or 8, now he was 12. He really hasn't seen. It's all fantasy, you know, but this year, like CD Lamb, he was rooting for him, I noticed. But I thought it was just because he had him on fantasy the first two weeks. And then I'm like, I gotta get.

Out of this barber chair.

Like, we could stop this now. I have to get home to talk to this kid. My. My hair is gonna look like shit in six days anyway. So let's just. It's not Graham's fault. It's my. I have bad hair. So I'm like, hey. I say to Harrison, I'm like, what's going on? Graham told me you want to be a Cowboys fan. He's like, yeah, I am a Cowboys fan. I was like, I don't think this is good. I don't Want you to do this. And he's like, I want to do it. I want to be a Cowboys. And I said, why? He's like, because you're my dad. And that was like a real Cosby show moment. But I was like, no, I want. Wow.

The crowd got silent and then started applauding.

A little slow clap. Yeah.

You're like, uncle Phil.

I said, hey, I want to talk to you about this when I get back from Brooklyn. He says, am I in trouble? I was like, yeah, only if you make this terrible decision, you're in trouble for the rest of your life. I'm like, why can't you be a Chargers fan? We live 10 minutes away and they need fans. And, you know, I feel like this, I'd be doing something good for la. So, I mean, I really just. I really, really don't want this for him. I feel like I'm like, running a business where I sell fax machines and I haven't sold one in, like, 25 years. And he's like, I want to do that, too. Like, no, no. I want better for my kid. But what do I do? I need advice here. Do I continue to push other teams on him? Does he have to have a football team to be a big sports fan?

It would be fun if he was a Cowboys fan. Oh, man. You have another person to complain about the Cowboys with.

It, because it's not. It's not a fun. Oh, look what they did tonight. Although tonight was fun. But I don't know, man. I don't know what I'm going to do. I may not allow this.

I was thinking about you. What you just said made me think about before the Red Sox won. I think I wrote a column about how after the Aaron Boonheimer, about passing the Red Sox to my kids, how I wasn't going to do it. And now the irony is neither of my kids care about baseball. We don't even have a team anyway. But in 2003, it seemed conceivable. But, yeah, you feel like you're giving them this burden. It's like you're giving them, like a, you know, some sort of disability.

Yeah.

They tend to carry for the rest of their life. Yeah.

It doesn't have to be that way. You could root with your friends for the Chargers. Do that, please.

So my parent corner, there's this Starbucks that, when we moved to la, was near the house that we were renting. And it was basically, like, near where Tarantino's New Beverly Cinema was. It's on Detroit street and used to be. It was like the walkable Starbucks to where this house we're running. And it was the Starbucks that I was walking to right before the Yankees Red Sox series in 2004, ironically, when a bird shit on my shirt. And I wrote a whole piece about how. Because the Italians like bird shit's good luck. And I was, like, about to write my Red Sox Yankees preview, and I was walking with my wife and her brother and the bird shit as I was thinking about the. And I was like, this is good luck. So went into the thing, and I wrote this whole thing about it on page two. So same Starbucks that. When my wife was giving birth to my daughter Zoe, I just told this story in the pod, and she went into labor, and then she wasn't in labor. And then two days later, she thought she might be again. And we were going there in the morning, and I stopped at this Starbucks and got a coffee, because I was like, ah, you're probably not having the kid.

I need my coffee. Went in the coffee, saw this 90210 actress that was in there came out. I was like, you're not gonna leave us in there. And Carrie's like, drive. Because she felt like. And she's still mad about it. She's been mad about it for 20 years.

She threw the heel at your face.

It was different from last week. Yeah, it was Lucinda from season four, nine zero two. And I was in there, and I'm like, you're not gonna leave my song. She's like. So anyway, she is coming home, and she's stopping because she's coming from that direction. And she texts, you want me to get you an iced coffee? And I'm like, yeah, yeah. So she comes home and she's like, I had to get it from somewhere else. That Starbucks closed. The one on Detroit, the one we went to. And then she's like, remember the one where I was about to give birth to Zoe? And you were more excited that you ran and we had a whole thing about the. Was still there 21 years later. Still. Still bad about the. The Starbucks. Anyway, a lot of memories. Bird shit, labor. I used to write columns at that Starbucks every once in a while. And now. Now it's just gone.

Oh, that's too bad. And Lucinda was a barista recently there.

She probably was.

Wait, I have to ask. Did you. When the birds shit on you, did you go in the Starbucks and write the column right then?

No.

Oh, okay. I went in, sat there with the bird shirt.

I went in. The guy actually noticed the Thing because we were talking about. He's like, what is that on your shirt? And I was like, I need a napkin. But.

Right.

And I had. And we had this whole debate about whether I should wipe it off, whether it was good luck. I ended up wiping off, but then not washing the shirt, which is pretty psychotic.

That's a good fantasy punishment. Someone should have to wear that shirt. Turned out to be a good launch. Yeah. Nice.

Yeah. Anyway, that's Pear Corner, brought to you by Scout Motors. Join the waitlist for the Scout Terror and Scout Traveler@scoutmotors.com Concept vehicles not available for sale.

Sorry about that. Keep going. No, I was wondering, was there any chance you were going to name Zoe Jacinda? No, Lucinda. Sorry. Yeah.

I think she was dating three guys on the show at once, so probably would have made a mistake. Concept vehicles not available for sale. Joining the waitlist is not guaranteed purchase. Visit scoutmotors.com for details. It's weird, though, because I used to, you know, I used to be a writer and I would go write my column or write my basketball book or anything. I would go to these. I would leave the house and go to these different places around la, and that was one of the go to ones. But when I see these places now, I just think of, like, all the. These hundreds of hours I just spent with my head down, like, fucking. Yeah, you know, typing.

What is it? What did it turn into? The Starbucks.

I don't. They just closed it. I don't even know what it's going to be.

But you could buy it if it means that much. No, it's sentimental. It's nice.

That's fine.

Memorabilia. All right.

I don't even know if it's sentimental. My wife got mad all over again that I stopped for a coffee there. It's the opposite of sentimental. Needed the coffee. It was the morning. What was it going to do?

Sentimental case.

Should we do Agent Corner really fast or.

I guess so. I don't know what we think we can get away with here, but. All right. Yeah.

So the big controversy. Our cousin Jimmy's back on the air. Triumphant week for him. We went to the show on Tuesday. It was great. It was great to see everybody. It was emotional, the whole thing. And he's back now. He's in Brooklyn doing his show. But his agent, our beloved James, Baby Doll Dixon, as all this stuff was happening the week before, had a wedding in Martha's Vineyard and was doing. Was handling his whole side remotely. And that turned into a big topic for us, whether he should have flown back or not. And you're going to be shocked to know that he did not appreciate the discourse about whether he should have flown back or not and was, dare I say, defensive. For one of the only times I remember, like, when we were really busting his balls on Tuesday in Jimmy's office.

Yeah.

Seemed. Seemed almost a little rattled about it.

So it was me.

What was your take?

Me, you and Louis and I don't know how much we could talk, but Aaron, the ep, There's a bunch of.

People on the ep.

Yeah, there was, like, five of us, and we were all giving them shit about it. And so what does he do? He turns his attentions to me and starts getting. Which I'm fine with, because, you know, and it was very varying degrees of, we're just screwing with you, baby, to, hey, we're angry, where the hell were you?

Kind of thing. Right.

So he, of course, is very defensive about it, but not so much that he just took off and left for the Ryder cup, like, Right. The very next day.

Right.

So he's fine.

He was. He. He was like, I'm here, aren't I?

This was a day back.

Yeah, but then left. But then left. Left the next day. So he. He. He technically did come back.

Right, right, right.

But I don't know. I. I still don't. I need. I kind of need more information. I wish there was a reporter covering, baby doll, because I want to know what the wedding was. Who was the wedding. What do we know about the wedding?

That he couldn't leave one of his daughter's friends. Very dear, very sweet, sweet kid. I couldn't miss this. No, I'm not missing that wedding.

But he said he claimed he was putting in 20 hours a day remotely.

Working on trying to get during the whole saga.

I don't know. Did you believe that? I mean, I. He doesn't sleep, so that is.

I don't believe it. Unless he's. I mean, first of all, he shows up, he's so dark. He looks like Wesley Snipes when we see him, you know? And it's like, I don't think he's doing 20 hours anything but, like, sunbathing. Poly walnuts.

Yeah, he's 20 hours. But then he's also talking about how good his swing is.

Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah.

Yeah.

We love you, baby. I don't know. We just need some answers there.

It's. Yeah, it was. Just.

Get in trouble.

Well, you have to see him for the next five days.

Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right.

3,000 miles away. I'm not going to get any trouble.

Who knows if I'll see him? I don't know. Nobody shows up.

Thing is, he did show up for Tuesday after all the drama had been settled. He was there.

Yeah. I'm there when it counts, baby. Now my boy Carson is doing something for the Budweiser light tent. I got to get the hell out of here. Off to Beth Page.

Maybe he's like. Like Tom Hayden. Maybe he's a peacetime conciliary like Tom and the Godfather.

Oh, yeah. All right. I mean, that would be like Janko.

Like Janko is a wartime conciliary.

I like that. I mean, his. His way is usually just a scream until he gets his way. But. But that wasn't. That wasn't the deal this time.

I did not appreciate that you talked about this on the podcast. This is private business.

Leverage wise. This is not good for me, baby.

Shit.

Maybe we run this by Lewis to see if.

Well, leverage wise, it all worked out somehow.

Yeah, that's right.

And now we have this Brooklyn Week and Good times all the way around. Good week of shows. Very happy to have Jimmy Kimmel back on the tv. Anything out of plug this week?

Yeah. Tate and I are going to talk college on Tuesday. Big wins for Bama and Oregon. Those were fun. Go Ducks. House in the bundle on Wednesday. House again. I got a. He endorsed my bet. Europe to win by between 1 and 3 plus 400. So that's my claim to fame for the weekend. Thank you.

Did you like Dante Moore, by the way? Because McShay was on here on Thursday and he said that was his favorite qb. And then I watched a bunch of that game. And you didn't like him?

No, I liked it.

I thought he was good.

All different arm angles. That was the toughest. I mean, what's tougher place to win than that? I don't know. Maybe Penn State isn't great, but that was. He showed some great.

It's great when you win those games in the other team's stadium and college football when it just goes completely silent, right?

Yeah.

When it's like. Yeah. And then it's like. It's almost like you. Like a pin gets shoved into the. The stadium. But that was one of those wins.

Where it was just walk off interception, Right? Yeah, that was great. And then Friday, the bundle and High fits with me and Todd Marinovich will join us. He has a book out Good Times.

We'll try to find out more information about Baby Dog next Sunday. Do Agent Corner. I can, I can get a sponsor next week for Agent Corner.

All right, let's do it. I know you're, you're way far away, Dr. Drinking hot water with lemon. And he's going to lambast me for, for five straight days here.

I can't wait. I can't wait for the stories, cuz. Good job by you.

Good job by your buddy.

All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to Sal. Thanks to Eduardo and Gehau as well. Don't forget new rewatchables coming Monday night Prestige TV task all of our sports and pop culture content on the Ringer podcast network. This is a big, big, big month for us that's coming up. We are in are a wheelhouse in a whole bunch of different ways. So I will see you definitely on Tuesday. You might even see me four times this week because with all the stuff that's going on. But I will see you on this podcast on Tuesday. Must be 21 plus in President select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 + in President D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem. Call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help.com, call 1-887-897777 or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hopeny in New York.