Transcript of NFL With Fred Smoot In Studio, Week 3 Picks And Preview, Bills Start 3-0 + Fyre Fest Of The Week

Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music from producer Jordan Peele.

The movie him asks the question would you sell your soul for greatness? What are you willing to sacrifice? Activate my hip on September 19th. Do you want what I have?

You have to take it from me.

What if I say no?

I am the killer but don't push me.

Experience fear like never before.

It's time for me to show you.

Exactly who I am.

Directed by Justin Tipping Only in theater September 19th.

Rated R on today's part in my take we have Fred Smoot in studio. Awesome interview with Fred Smoot Talking the NFL talking starting Owen two defensive back celebrations how much he hates pumpkin we're going to do week three picks in preview. We have Jerry's fantasy minute so the Bills start three and oh and then we have Fire Fest. A lot of car problems this week for the boys and it's all brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. Your season, your shot. The NFL season is rolling and every touchdown can bring you closer to a payout with DraftKings sportsbook and official sports betting partner of the NFL. Every game is another chance to cash in. Don't just watch the action, win with it. DraftKings sportsbook delivers the unmatched and intensity the NFL right to your fingertips. From first touchdown score to anytime TD props or the thrill of live in game bettings, every snap is loaded with opportunity. So go check it out now we get to our picks later. We have a TD parlay coming up. Jets Plus 7 is looking juicy this week on DraftKings Sportsbook. New customers this one is for you.

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Okay, let.

Hey, football guy.

Patino award and M. Yeah. Bar.

Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings. Your season's heating up. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app. Use code TAKE. That's code TAKE to get $2 bonus bets instantly when you place your first $5 bet plus over $200 off NFL Sunday Ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, September 19th, and the Buffalo Bills are three and. Oh, and Tua turned the ball over, did it again. Can't see linebackers.

Tua Lipa it was bad. It was bad. It was the classic tour. I have a guy in front of me. Everybody else can see this guy. I'm just going to throw it right to him.

There's no way I have a guy in front of me. There's no way another guy will jump in front of that.

Yeah, this is the last, the last thing they would ever expect is for me to throw this pass. Yeah, throw it and catch him off guard. Now, Tua, he was okay earlier in the night. He did complete 22 for 34, 146 yards. I'd like to see, you know those maps that they show like the, the Amazon stats where it's like where the balls went downfield, his completions and his picks. I guess that like 90% of them were within two yards of the line of scrimmage. Yeah, three yards of the line of scrimmage.

Have you guys seen the viral teacher in Miami who teaches her math lessons based on the Dolphins? She's a Dolphins fan, so she. It's actually. Yeah, it's actually very sweet. She's. She had all the kids pick a team. All the kids have to track the record, do their math. But one of the math things she does every single week is to his quest for 4,000 yards. This is going to be a depressing update.

Yeah.

It's not.

What?

140. What do you say? 146 yards.

146 yards. So he's still got a long way to go. I will say the Dolphins had way more life than I expected tonight. They fought hard. If it weren't for a roughing the punter penalty. They could have very easily won this game. And to his interception fought hard, division game, season on the line. His Dolphins like looking at their schedule. They have some games they could win coming up, but that feels like, you know, we push it all in to try to play our best, and we came up short because the Bills are just a better team. I do think Bills are just a really good team. They win efficiently, even. Like, Josh was very good tonight, but it wasn't like Josh was very good. Yeah, James Cook might be one of my favorite runners to watch at this point. The way he, like, can weave in and out of the lanes.

Their offensive line played awesome tonight too.

Their offensive line's one of the best in the NFL. But it's. It does feel like the Bills are in that mode that they don't have to play perfect. And they can still. They can still just kind of like casually beat you by 10 points. I know it was a seven point game until the end with the field goal. That's the.

Over the. The Dolphins. I'm surprised. I'm pleasantly surprised with the Dolphins tonight.

Yeah, they feel like this is.

This is a game where everybody expected them to go out and get their ass kicked.

Right.

Have them lose by like 30 points. Um, the Dolphins have not quit.

This is.

They have not yet quit on the season. They're at a point where I think a lot of people expected them to quit. They played really hard tonight. They played pretty decently. Like, they managed the game well. They could have won this game. There were a couple bad mistakes that they made. If some things break their way, it's a different final result. I was pleasantly surprised.

You know what this is? This is a clap it up for the NFL. Yeah, clap it up for the NFL. They made a pretty good league where there's pros on both side of the ball and you're never, you know, even the best teams versus what might be one of the worst teams. They're still closer than we realize. And yeah, I don't know where the Dolphins go from here. Get a little rest.

I would like to see that guy, Ollie Gordon get the ball a little bit more. Yeah, Ollie Gordon is fun to watch, too. He's a big dude.

Oklahoma State. He. He was the one who. Gundy. I think he. Did he get a DUI or did I get that wrong?

Was he the guy where Mike Gundy was like, I've driven.

I've done this. I've driven drunk so many times, hundreds of times.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm pretty sure it Was Ol.

Yeah. Yeah.

He was arrested on suspicion.

Yeah.

Not to bring up a bad moment in Ollie Gordon, but it was more because it's just very funny that Mike Gundy admitted to, like, thousands of DUI.

And he's Ollie Gordon II, not Ollie Gordon Jr.

Correct.

What's the difference?

Don't know. His dad's Ollie.

His dad's Ollie Gordon.

Correct.

Why isn't he junior, though? Why is he.

Because he's the second.

There's two of them.

I don't get it, Hank. Do you know?

I don't.

I think you just get to choose Ollie Gordon 0.20.

I think you.

I think you know what it might be. I think it's maybe like one of those situations where he's already agreed to name his future child Ollie Gordon, because that would be the third.

Got it.

Got it. So he is. He's required.

Yeah. He's like, I got this, Dad. I don't worry. I. I will do Ollie Gordon. Another Ollie Gordon. Ollie's kind of a cool name.

Ollie's an awesome name. He should name his kid Ollie Gordon to Junior.

Yeah.

Instead of be pissed off about that.

Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah.

Good game. Bills are. I mean, Pete Prisco told us this before the season started. The Bills, obviously, again, any given Sunday. But the Bills will be favorites in all their games going up against. Going up until the Chiefs, which will be favorites in that game too, because it's in Buffalo. Their schedule, they're going to rip off some wins. They're going to rip off some wins. I'm saying, though, that's why that Ravens game was so huge at the beginning of the season.

The schedule is awesome. It breaks awesome for the Bills right now. The one concern I would have. I don't know if you feel the same way. The running game, obviously, very good. Offensive line, awesome. Josh Allen, mvp, very excited about that. Their receivers, they don't really have like a game breaker.

See, I.

Do they need one?

No, I think the way they spread the ball around, I mean, look at just who caught. There was like seven guys that caught at least two passes tonight. Six guys was seven maybe. But like, yes, six. Their. Their tight ends are good. I love Shakir Keon. Coleman's coming along. Like. Yeah, I don't think it matters because they do have the Josh Allen and an awesome offensive line. It's the meme you can have anyone running out.

I do think that Shakira is still very, very underrated.

Yeah. Yeah.

And they're in their defense. They're missing Ed Oliver tonight. Who else are they missing?

I think they were missing Matt Milano.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that is that. It does feel like. It's crazy to say week three, but it just. It does feel like the Bills are basically like, hey, can we stay healthy?

Mm.

That's it.

Yeah.

I mean, how bad is Matt Milano right now?

He's.

He's always.

He's got a peck.

He's always.

He has a peck.

Yeah, he's always got something.

But is that. But this isn't like the Matt Milano last two seasons type injury, right? He's just out temporarily.

Yeah, out temporarily.

I gotta. I gotta take real quick about this game. That's not really about this game. We did see some Bills fans with their shirts off. There's one guy that looked like peak male body, just, like the perfect amount of fat. And I say that in a loving way. I don't think you should get to take your shirt off in Buffalo until it gets cold.

Yeah, it's stolen valor. Anyone can do that.

Right? I.

Or at least maybe don't show him. I treated the pick. The guy, I mean, he really does. Like, he's. He's got a great body. He's probably got the best body on this podcast.

Kind of like oldie.

Yeah, he's just kind of a beast of a man. Fat in all the right places. No, not that guy. Keep going, keep going. There he is. Yeah, that's strong.

He's bigger than old.

That's a. That's a. That's a guy who 500 years ago was a king.

I'm looking to get to that.

Shout out. That guy, probably a listener.

He looks good.

He looks kind of like a mix between us.

Like, he looks strong, sturdy.

He took everybody on the podcast and morphed him into one person.

Yeah, that's.

That's this guy.

That's us.

That's AI. Pardon my take altogether. All right, real quick, before we get to our week three picks and preview, and we have Fred Smooth coming up. Did you see the news, Max? Adam Schefter tweeted out. It was mere minutes ago. Why don't you pull it up and read the headline for us? Max reads.

I don't want to read this. This is mean.

I can read.

No, it's not mean, Max. Read the headline. You're not going to care. You're going to say, I don't fucking care. Stop it, bro. Stop it.

NFL is instructing its officials this week to call the tush push tight going forward. Yeah, whatever. Don't care.

Okay.

Maybe it means like, they're going to call it tight. Like, it's awesome.

Like, that is like.

Like, tight play.

That is like, 14% of your plays.

Yeah, we'll still fucking get it.

Okay. Okay. But there will be some penalties. Like, that could be the difference between winning and losing a game. If they call off sides, fourth and.

One, they're going to be disciplined. I trust my boys.

Okay.

All right.

This is. This is the death knell of the tush. But I'm just so sick of talking about it. I just wanted to, like, either just let it keep going and let's never talk about it, or ban it and never talk about it that way.

So the vice president of officiating said, we want to be as tight as we can be when we get into the situation where teams are in the bunch position and we have to officiate them being on sides. Movement early prior to the snap, looks like we have movement by the right guard. We also have movement coming from across the defensive side. This is very hard to officiate. I get it.

Yeah.

Oh, by the way, we forgot to mention, speaking of officials, Josh Allen technically kind of fumbled at the end of the first half.

He did, Yeah.

I called that in real time because I saw him. He got the snap, fumbled it as he kneeled, then got off his knee, recovered the ball, threw it to the ref. I would have liked to see the ref do the play, do the olay, and, like, jump out of the way.

Yeah, he was the spirit of the game. He gave himself up, but, yeah, he's got to tighten that up. Yeah, he wasn't kneeled down when he had the ball. Oh, maybe he was. Oh, they would have reviewed it and they would have actually said, oh, I don't know. I don't know, Jim. Yeah, it looks like he has it with his knee down. Yep, he's knees down.

All right.

He had it. Never mind. Scratch that from the record. Great, Neil. Josh. It's close enough, though, that it was fun to debate.

Yeah, it's a little ray of sunshine if you're a Dolphins fan. You're like, actually, we got fucked by the refs. It wasn't the running into the kicker. It wasn't the interception. That's the most interception of all time. It's the fact that at the end of the first down, Josh Allen didn't properly give himself up.

Yeah, I had one last thing. I'm just very. We talked about this on Wednesday because, Max, the Phillies clinched, the Cubs clinched on Wednesday afternoon, then almost got no hit on Thursday night. Which would have been like, the only time that you can be like, hey, hand up. We got no hit. Is because you were partying all night. But it just got me so pumped for October baseball. Seeing the boys celebrate just got me so pumped.

I love Shoto. What he said.

Oh, yeah.

He's like, the trick is you actually absorb more of the champagne through your skin.

Yeah.

And then he just had his boys just hose him down with champagne.

It was awesome.

Let it marinate.

But it, like, that was the first moment because the Cubs are kind of in a weird limbo of they aren't going to win the central, but they're so far up on the wild card, they clinch the wild card, and it was just like, okay, this is going to be awesome. Little home playoff games for the start. Going to try to go to every game. I'm ready for October baseball. It's been a long time.

What everybody think about the champagne? Hank, Is that fine?

Yeah.

No issues.

I have never had issues with celebrating making the playoffs. I never said that.

Yeah.

Just want to make.

Never said that.

I didn't.

Princessa never said that. I like your shirt, Hank.

Thank you.

Twisted T. I just thought maybe Hank.

Would be upset because it's. It has to be French to be champagne. It's not French. It's just sparkling wine. Maybe we're botching the name of it. I know you're a big European guy.

Could be Prosecco.

Could be Prosecco.

Yep. Yeah.

Could be Cava.

But I'm ready. I'm ready for playoff baseball. I'm ready to go, Max.

I'm not ready. I'm not ready.

It's been a long time since Cubs have been in the playoffs.

Five years.

I posted a video in this shirt, and a lot of people were saying, it looks like pft dress me this morning.

Oh, that's awesome. That's a great compliment.

Yeah.

That's one of the best dressers. One of the dressers we have here.

I think I'm a very good dresser.

I'll say this about pft. He does get dressed every day.

I've got my style.

Yeah.

And I. I don't care what anybody says about it.

If you had it, if you were keeping score at home and you had a box, said, did Pft get dressed? You would check that every day.

Yeah.

People often tell me they can't believe that I'm 40, and I choose to believe it's because my great skin and youthful demeanor. But it's really just about how I dress.

I do love when people try to shame us for being old. And it's like, yeah, dude, it's pretty sick. We get to do this.

Yeah.

I had some people doing that when I went on Chris Long's podcast a week ago, and I said, tits are back. The ass. The ass boys had their little run, but tits are all the way back. And the people like, bro, you're 50 and you're talking about this, like, yeah, that's awesome.

Also, when do you get too old to talk about?

Right? You never too old to talk about tit.

There's a lot of things that we do here that are, you know, juvenile.

Yeah.

But tits, everyone, that's just. I hope that when I'm 85 years old, knock on wood, that I get there. I'm still talking about tits with my boys.

Facts.

Yeah, that's how I want to go out.

Yeah.

Just right.

Smothered by him.

Not him, but talking them.

No.

The day. If I. If I ever come into a day and I'm like, hey, guys, you know what? I don't like tits. Put a. Put a bolt in my head. Just end it right there. That'll be my sign. But something's wrong with you.

I. I feel like now the pendulum swinging too far back where butts aren't respected anymore.

I don't care. We had enough butt talk. It's tits time. I'm ready for it.

I don't hate butt.

I don't either. But it did get, like, fat. Naturals definitely went away for a little bit.

They did, yeah.

The swinging one.

And now they're. Now they're back and it's good.

Nice shout outs. I feel like Sydney Sweeney.

Oh, yeah.

She's the one that, you know, she was like, spearheaded this movement.

She was like Olympic torch bearer.

Yeah.

Came through and just lit the lamp back.

Yep.

Nobody had boobs.

Well, she had.

Upton was the last time. It was cool.

True Detective Alexandra Daddario. That was. That was a good moment for boobs.

When do you think?

Yeah.

Boobs hit their peak.

That may have been. That may have been a deep cut.

No, that's not a deep cut at all.

Well, I don't know. I didn't get the reaction I thought I was. I thought I was going to get.

I was just thinking about kb, Our good friend. KB has a really good riff that. That you're gay if you know what happens in True Detective after she showed her boobs. Because, like, if you watch her boobs and you don't just stop watching, go jerk off, then, like, who. Who finished True Detective? After that moment, I still.

That's a good.

That's a great take.

I still don't know. I still don't know what happened to the Titanic.

Yeah, right.

That was the first boob I ever saw.

Did it make it to New York? No, never made it there.

We don't know. I'm so straight. I'm so straight. I turn off the show.

If somebody knows. If somebody knows where the Titanic is, they're gay.

Yeah, right.

Exactly.

You just showed yourself, bro. Yeah, I always get to that point in the movie.

Yep.

And then I stop.

Yep.

I don't know what happened.

That dude on the sub that imploded. Little light in the loafers, if you ask me.

Oh, man.

Call me old fashioned. I gotta help me. I still like a good vagina.

Yeah, I know.

We know you do. Remember that. Yeah.

Mount Rushmore. Yeah.

What can I say? Like a snatch.

You're a huge vag guy. All right.

I'm the confirmed number one vaginal. Vaginal.

Yeah.

Vaginal enthusiast on this podcast.

I miss these. Thursday night after Thursday Night Football because we're all so, like, a little bit loopy from the entire week. It's just like, what the fuck? Let's just kill 15 minutes, talk vag talk, talk. Jerking off to the Titanic.

Well, you know why? Because the game played out pretty much exactly how we kind of had envisioned it.

It actually was worse than we envisioned it because we were thinking, oh, we're going to get to record it, like nine o' clock tonight. And then the Dolphins played good enough that we didn't get to do that.

Yeah.

But credits to the NFL, that was a good Thursday night game. We got to remember there's going to be some clunkers on Thursday Night Football. In. In the spectrum of Thursday Night Football, that was a pretty good game.

I would say it was. It was a competitive game.

I didn't say great game.

I said pretty good. It was a competitive game and it kept our attention through four quarters.

Correct.

Which is awesome. But it was also kind of. I would say it's one of the more boring 31, 21 games that I've seen.

Well, because there weren't any, like, big, Big, like.

Yeah.

Huge touchdowns.

Yeah.

Oh, Seattle versus Arizona next week. That could. Choose your own adventure that could test us.

The next week's good. Not Niners.

Rams. Niners. Rams good.

But yeah, aren't the Seahawks and. Nope. Seahawks lost. The Niners. I forgot about that.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

We got some top.

Oh, oh, oh.

Baltimore at Miami.

Ooh.

Pittsburgh. Cincy. I mean, Philly in New York is not. Oh, oh, Jets, Patriots.

That'll be a fun one. That'll be a fun one.

That'll be a fun one.

Oh, in the studio, when do the NFL not like Amazon prime, what's going on?

When do we get the first Al Michaels, like unofficially quitting on a game?

I think I'm going to predict. Go back up. I'm going to say it might be Eagles, Giants. If the Giants no show that game. Yeah, that could be a bad one.

Yeah.

Also if Carson Wentz is still somehow playing in October, that could also be tough.

Or it could be great.

Dude, shout out Halloween. By the way, showing up on a Friday this year, big time move by Halloween, big time boob day. That's a big time boob day. But big time like Halloween. You fucking rocked it this year. Friday, Halloween. Nothing better. Nothing better.

What do you think's a bigger boob day? Halloween or Valentine's Day? I'd say Halloween.

Halloween for sure.

For sure.

Halloween.

The only thing might be 1:1.

Well, July 4th is the only thing they could compete. Yeah, everyone's in a bikini.

Halloween blows it out of the water.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Halloween's big time.

Big time.

Can't wait. Guy like me can't wait.

I like Halloween because I like watching my kids triple treat.

It's fun.

It's fun. Makes me a little teary eyed. I got to figure out what I'm going to be for Halloween this year. Maybe I'll just be a boob. Just a giant boob. That'd actually be funny. Probably not appropriate. All right, week three picks and preview and Fred Smoot coming up. Okay, before we get to the weekend, preview, game time, the NFL's back. Tailgates pack stands that buzz before kickoff. But getting in, nightmare cues, price jumps, getting logged out mid click. All you want is to be there, beer in hand, losing your voice with the crowd. And the game time app gives the advantage back to fans. The hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experiences in a few taps. It's incredibly easy to use in the game time guarantee means you can Trust you'll get 100% authentic tickets on time and at the best price. Plus fees are always included. So what you see is what you pay. Was looking at tickets for Hank the.

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Oh, nice. All right, so take the guess we got to buy NFL tickets with game time. Download the GameTime app, create an account, use code PMT for $20 off your first purchase terms apply again. Create an account redeem. Code PMT for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket. Go download the game time app today and the weekend preview is brought to you by our friends at Uber Eats. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats, reminding fans that have football coincidence coincidentally makes you hungry. You can get game day deals on wings, burgers, beers, chips, and more all season long, all on Uber Eats. Boys, what are we going to eat on Sunday from Uber Eats? By the way, shout out to Uber Eats for everything. Boys, had a little bit of tummy issue. UberEats Pepto all day.

Love that.

Right back.

I think this. We haven't had pizza yet this year, have we?

I think we got to maybe do pizza.

Pizza sounds good.

Maybe pizza and cheesesteaks.

Yeah.

All right, so we're going to do it on UberEats. You'll love being able to get all your personal. Yeah, boots. You like that?

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Grilled chicken.

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You'll love being able to get all your personal, favorite game day foods delivered on Uber Eats so that you never miss a play. When football makes you hungry, get game day deals all season long, only on Uber Eats. All right, boys, week three. Should we talk? So they did it to us again. A little bit. A little bit more balanced in the fact that we have four games in the afternoon, but they did it to us again. There are, I believe, nine games early.

They don't care. They don't care about our schedule. They don't care how many TVs you have. The NFL just knows you're going to watch whatever's on.

Just give us what. Like, I was thinking about this more. Why can't we just do a couple staggered starts like college football does?

A little bit. Yeah, do it.

Do a noon kickoff. Do a 130 kickoff.

Right.

No, Hank. Why? It's too.

It's. It's too much. Too much to handle.

So I.

It's too much to handle right now when there's nine games early.

I agree with Hank. Because what you'd run into is you'd run into games that are just ending at wildly different times. I like the. The pattern in the NFL where, you know, it's the witching hour.

Yeah.

And if you have multiple witching hours, like a late witching hour and early witching hour, then you don't. You can't lock in and think about me is I got to lock in.

You got to lock in. But nine is a lot.

Yeah, it is.

I Can handle. I don't know why there's a difference, but eight I can handle. Maybe it's because we have eight TVs.

That's exactly what.

Now that I'm saying it out loud.

Like, there's a shitload of people listening to this right now that are like, I can do four games. Yeah, but eight. You're like, yeah, that's what our issue is. We have eight televisions, and it's personally inconvenient for us. Therefore, the NFL should change its policy about eight to nine games.

Correct. What are you gonna say, Hank?

I.

My biggest issue is when they only do three games in the afternoon. I don't care as much about the 9 at once, but the 3 in the afternoon is. It'll probably happen more times in the end of the season. Like that bothers me. Hank likes no end.

He likes it when there's one at 8:30 in the morning.

Yeah.

No, I don't like that either.

We throw the game.

I hate that game.

Bears Cowboys game of the week.

Is it? Yeah.

In the afternoon. Hey, listen, if.

If that'd be fun to watch.

If it keeps going. How we've gone through two weeks, two weeks in a row. Two weeks into the season, the NFC offensive player of the year is just whoever plays against the Bears.

Oh.

So this should be a good game for Tak.

Yeah.

Jared Goff one, week two. J.J. mcCarthy won week one.

Yeah.

That would be such a hilarious streak if every single quarterback.

I'm excited to watch that game, by the way, because there's going to be points.

Yeah, there will be points, and maybe there won't be.

No, there's going to be points.

But maybe. But that's also. Wouldn't it be perfect? Bears be like, it's now a clunker. All right, so real big, big picture thoughts. Hank, I know you're gonna like this because I know we've been striking out on the hungry dog. I saw some stat. It's like favorites of been two weeks. Chill out.

What?

No. All last season, too.

No, I won last season.

Wait, I'm.

I'm.

I'm on your side. I'm about to give you stats that.

We'Ve been striking out. There's been two strikes.

No. All right, let's rewind the tape here. Let's rewind. Let's start time out. Let's call timeout. Timeout.

Timeout.

Calling a quick tea.

Let's not chirp the hungry dog to, like, week 10.

What I was saying was. Hank, it's ridiculous. It's like the favorites of six or more are covering every single game. That's crazy. That doesn't happen and it's unfair. That was my point. Got it.

We haven't had any start, no big upsets. LeBron James is still perfect on his moneyline picks, although it's bullshit because when I see LeBron talk about his thoughts as a sports junkie regardless his own sport that he plays, I follow LeBron's picks. They hit week one, he just didn't do picks for week two.

Yeah.

And now he's back for week three.

Okay, that's some bullshit picking and shoes and taking a week off, but he.

Is the moneyline king.

Yeah.

What I was going to say to you, Hank, is 02 dogs of three and a half or more since 2010 are 64% against the spread. Those teams this week, Dolphins, which obviously we just talked about, Titans, Panthers, Browns, Jets, Saints, Giants.

Gross.

How about this one though? 0 and 2 teams versus 1 and 1 teams are 70% against the spread since 2010. Panthers, Texans, Saints, Bears. There's some juicy ones. There's some juicy ones. I'm just saying. We also have. This is as early as it feels that we are. We're in week three and we have potentially five backup quarterbacks already starting games.

Yeah, we have a. A landslide of quarterbacks that are hard to get excited for this week.

I will say thank. Thanks to the schedule makers and the injury makers. One of them is a confined backup quarterbacks.

It's self contained.

Yeah.

With the Bengals and the Vikings. But we have Jake Browning, Carson Wentz, Mack Jones, possibly Marcus Mariota, possibly Tyrod Taylor, all starting games. So let's get into it. Let's get, let's go through every single game. We'll start with packers at Browns. Browns 8 and a half point underdogs over under 44 and a half. Matt LaFleur in 9-17-6 against the spread. He's also 8 and 1 against the spread in true road games. He's a really good coach. I'm starting to think this coaching thing might work out for him.

Yeah, he's a very good coach. The Browns haven't been as bad as you think that they've been. They've had bad turnovers.

It was a, it was a misleading final score against the Ravens, as crazy as that sounds.

Yes.

Really crazy to say a 4117 is misleading.

You can only push a team so far until they just completely collapse.

Right.

And the Browns defense been good. They've gained a lot of yards on offense too.

They have.

They've outgoing their opponent.

They've moved the football.

Yeah.

They are the number one team in terms of yards per game on defense, they're number one overall. And yards per game on offense, they're down there a little bit. But the Browns aren't as bad as you think they might be, but they are in complete collapse. Watch.

Yeah. Yeah.

It feels like they might have hit a breaking point. I think I'm going to bet on them this weekend. I think I will. I think we're going to see more Dylan Gabriel than we saw last week.

I should start him.

They're not ready to tear the band aid off with Joe just yet.

Yeah.

But, yeah, I feel like they're. They're a sneaky team because you always get some wins or some covers that make absolutely no sense. Teams have been written off.

Yep.

The NFL is a hard league to predict.

It is.

I don't. I don't think that the Browns are as dead as some people think that they are.

I got a pop quiz for you guys. This one kind of shocked me. How many weeks in a row has Josh Jacobs scored a touchdown? Pop quiz.

Seven?

I don't know. Eleven. Okay.

Isn't that kind of crazy?

Yeah.

Don't think that's talked about enough. So 11 consecutive games, Josh Jacobs scored a touchdown. The record with A touchdown is 17 for Christian McCaffrey. Remember when he was like. Like minus 350 if he gets to 12. Here's the guys since 1990 who have scored 12 straight weeks. Christian McCaffrey, our good friend Arian Foster, Emma Smith, Derrick Henry, and Ladanian Tomlinson. That's some pretty elite company.

Yeah.

Pretty much a sure thing for them going up against the Browns. They're. The Browns just can't run the football. They have no plan to run the football. Yeah, their plan is like, let. Let's let old man Joe throw the ball. Hopefully we catch him and we don't deflect him into the arms of our opponents, but we're not even going to try to run. And then their defense, as good as it's been, they're not turning the ball over at all.

On defense, I also, like, where are the shots? I want. I want to see Joe. I want to see Joe Flacco take some shots.

Yeah, get the shots.

He has not and let him fucking be Joe Flacco.

This seems like a bad stat for. For Browns fans out there. The packers have dominated the Browns over the course of the rivalry, if you can call it a rivalry. The Browns have not won back to back Games against the Green Bay Packers. Since when?

Back to back game.

Back to back. Two in a row. Eighties in the series.

No.

Worse. Seventies.

Worse.

Sixties.

Worse.

Fifties.

1955. 1956.

Nailed it.

It was the last time that the Browns beat the packers back to back. You can't be in back to back if you don't start with one.

Yeah.

So this could be the start right now.

This is the, the dawning of a new era.

Yeah. Okay.

Colts at Titans. Titans four and a half point underdogs over under 43 and a half. The Indianapolis Colts have played near perfect. They've scored on 14 of their 16 drives so far this season. They have zero turnovers through the first two weeks of the season. Also, the Titans lead the league in penalties with 23. I'm calling this right now as my regression to the mean game.

Okay.

I don't know if the Titans can win, but I do think they can cover because they're a division dog at home. And as good as the Colts have looked, and I'm not trying to say the Colts aren't, you know, like two and oh, looks awesome. Dana Jones looks awesome. They did beat the Dolphins. The Dolphins are a dead team. And then they needed kind of a Broncos not meltdown, but mini meltdown to beat the Broncos.

They needed some leverage.

They needed some leverage. They needed Bonix to throw that terrible pick. I think the Colts are good. I don't know if I'm buying them like as an elite team yet. And now they have to go outside and play against the Titans who are looking for their first win. I'm gonna bet the Titans again. I'm sure there. I'm sure what will happen in this game is it will be very close at halftime and then all hell will break loose and the Titans will lose by like 20 points. But I'm gonna do it.

Is Mrs. Ursay getting on the headset?

She's gotta be.

Do they provide her one on a road game? I don't. I don't know the answer to that. It might inform my betting strategy. But you're right about the Titans and their penalties because if you count the penalties that got picked up because they got declined, they've committed 28 of them. They're minus 119 in penalty yard differential.

Yikes.

And they've had 193 penalty yards that were assessed to them. It's like a very well coached team in the Colts versus what appears to be a poorly coached team in the Titans. I also think that the Titans, they're They're starting the conversation regarding their head coach.

Oh, yeah.

Because he falls firmly into the Ken Wessenhunt, Mike Malarkey pantheon of kind of forgettable guys that have coached the Titans over the years.

And I like Brian Callahan.

I do, too.

But, yeah, I mean, the penalties got to get cleaned up. I just think looking at the Colts, they played perfect football, essentially. You can't play perfect football all the time.

Yeah.

It's going to be a turnover.

They.

I think that they're. I'm going to call it. They're going to punt in the first half.

Okay.

That's a. I wish we could bet on that.

I think they will have over half of a punt in the first half.

Over half of a punt.

Yeah. Okay.

Hank, can I interest you in the Titans?

Yes. Yeah.

I like the regression of the mean game.

Yeah.

Regression of the mean game. So I'm coining it. All right, next up, this is the confined backup quarterback bowl. Bengals at Vikings. Vikings -3 over under is 42 and a half. All of our lines are coming from the DraftKings sportsbook. Here's a fun fact. Carson Wentz will make history on Sunday. He will be the first player to start for six different teams in six consecutive seasons. That's crazy.

The Eagles, the Colts, the Commanders, the Rams, the Chiefs, and the Vikings are the teams that can list Carson Wentz as their starting quarterback. Max is back. Max is back on Carson Wentz. I'm not back. I'm never going to be back on. Carson wins. He bums me out to watch play. His high little knees and his skinny shins and him flailing around in the back in the backfield. And I. I liken him to the. The episode of the Simpsons where they have the monorail salesman that goes town to town.

Yeah.

And he gets everybody excited, and then he just leaves it in ruins afterwards. And you're like, why'd we ever give that guy the money?

Yeah.

It's. It's the one thing that might work out for him. He has been in the building with Kevin o' Connell for what, three months?

Two months? Not even close.

One month. How. How long has he been. When was the same house been there?

Less than a month.

Less than a month.

He signed after training. Yeah.

How.

Yeah. How many.

How viral is the Kevin o' Connell quarterback dust that gets put on people? Like, is it. What's the exposure that you have to have to Kevin o' Connell to get fixed?

That was part of my. I like the Bengals because 20, August 24 is not a lot of time to learn the entire offense, to be around the guys to get first team reps, which he probably didn't do. Also, I'll say this. I think Kevin o' Connell is a really great coach. I don't know if I'm ready to put him in the. He can fix anyone guy. Sam Darnold obviously had a great year last year, but, like, remember two years ago when, like, Dobbs. He played good for Dobbs, played great.

Oh.

But then it kind of.

It wore off.

Yeah.

Nick Mullins, Jaren Hall. Remember the Jaren hall game? That was bad.

Yeah.

So I, I think Kevin o' Connell is a top upper echelon coach. This will be a great test. Can he fix Carson Wentz? Because, like, I don't know, Shanahan and McVeigh.

I'm.

I'm comfortable saying give him anyone and he can get a way to, you know, like, figure out a way to win a couple games. Them. I don't know. I want to see it. This will be it. If he can do it with him, then I'll put Kevin o' Connell firmly in that group.

I'm not ready to say that about cars. I don't. I don't think that Carson Wentz is fixable. I think he's got too. Too much scar tissue.

Yeah.

I also was like, I flirted with the Carson Wentz, like, ooh, maybe. Until I was scrolling Twitter and I saw, remember the play where he definitely avoided the safety by throwing a pick six in the end zone.

Yeah.

Literally through the heat. The whole play was confined to the end zone.

Yeah.

Matt Max is. I don't know why you're allowing yourself to get excited about.

I'm excited. He's fun quarterback. He's a. He does stupid shit and it's. He's funny. He's funny. And if he's good, that would be awesome.

Yeah. So Dobbs reminder, the Dobbs thing, it happened for the first two games when he was with the Vikings. He won the first two games and then he lost the next two. One was a four interception game and then he la. He won his last one with the Vikings. That was the three nothing game. Remember that game against the Raiders?

Yep.

So I think again, Kevin o' Connell is very, very good coach. I want to see it if he can do it with Carson Wentz, and I'm officially putting him like the Matt LaFleur can do it, Malik Willis kind of category, you know, like, like Sean McVeigh can do it with Baker getting off a plane. Those guys that's a different level. Kevin o' Connell's right below it. Carson Wentz gets you up in that level.

So they. They put out a list of the top 12 backup quarterbacks. Where would you put Jake Browning on that list?

I would put him high. He's 4 and 3 as a starter.

Which is what you hope for out of your backup.

Yeah.

Can you go in and keep us around 500?

Yes.

So ESPN had him as second on the list, which is pretty, pretty high. He should be number one.

Okay.

But I. I keep going back and forth with Browning because he's not. He's not the most exciting guy to see get in a game, but I think he's able to manage it. Okay. And I think the more I think about the realistic solutions that the Bengals have at quarterback, this is going to be the one. I think we're just going to ride it all out on Jake Browning.

Yeah.

And see what happens after this. Because they're with the signing of Sean Clifford. Like, they signed three different versions of Jake Browning. So at least they've got the same system in place if Jake Browning gets hurt.

Yeah. By the way, one last thing about Kevin o', Connell, I think he's in fuck it, full send mode, because did you guys see who the Vikings signed? Because if this works with Carson Wentz, he's going to be full, like, hey, hold my beer. Watch me do this.

Desmond Ritter.

Yes.

Yeah.

If he could do. If he could do Carson Wentz, he's going to try to do Desmond Ritter and that's going to be fucking cool. Crazy.

I can fix that.

That's gonna be some wild.

I. I would rather have Sam Howell. I feel like Sam Howell would be a better option for him right now because he will throw the ball.

Yeah.

By the way, the Vikings. So teams to play backto back night games in first six weeks of the season are one in seven against the spread since 2023. So body clock.

Okay.

Body clock.

So in. In the week after they played back to back games.

Seven against the spread since 2023.

Okay.

Just something to throw out there. Steelers and patriots. Patriots plus one and a half over under 40. Four and a half. Hank, how you feeling?

I feel excited. I feel like the Patriots are just going to be in shootouts and this is going to be another shootout. Drake may look great. I enjoy. I think it's just my algorithm. I've gone into the All22 algorithm, like during the week. The film. The film. Twitter.

Yeah.

And Drake May, his film looks. Has been great.

There are some throws that the film geeks are getting full hard on.

Are you a film guy now?

I'm not.

I just.

It presents itself in front of me, and I'm. And obviously I like the Drake. May one. So then I think I just get fed more.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm a film guys guy because I watch other people break down film.

I do think it's like. I think. I think it makes no sense because when you just isolate one play, you can make anyone look good or anyone look bad. But I've.

I.

It's just. It's gone into my algorithm, and I like it.

Are you excited about the Patriots uniforms this weekend?

Very excited.

What are they?

They're the red throwbacks.

Okay.

You do love a red coat.

Yeah, I do.

You root for that?

Yeah.

It's natural.

I love the Patriots red jerseys.

What are the Steelers wearing? Just classic road.

It's just classic.

I think they're doing classic road. What do you think about. About the big news? The big Patriots news of the week.

Do tell.

I'm breaking this to you.

Oh, you know it. There's a baby in the family.

Cardi B. Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Stefan Diggs had sex with Cardi B, ejaculated inside of her while she was ovulating, and now she's pregnant.

Or not.

It's probably a secret marriage. No, it's probably secret.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's exciting. Hopefully this, you know, he can get his. His head on right and start, you know, making some big plays, grow a little family.

Yeah.

Time to grow up, Stefan.

So you think you're gonna win this game?

I don't know.

Or like we. The Dolphins and Raiders are objectively bad teams. And, you know, both games we lost to the Raiders, and it was a battle against the Dolphins. I could see us losing this game, but I'm. I'm excited to watch them fight.

Do you know the last time that Pittsburgh beat the Patriots in New England?

2009.

2008. When Brady was hurt.

Yeah.

It feels like Steelers never beat the Patriots.

Yep. Yep.

You think Mike Tomlin.

I'm betting the over in this game. I think I'll be on. I'll be on Patriots over over bets.

For the foreseeable future. Okay. Put the. Put the word out. Okay. Rams, Eagles. Eagles minus three and a half over under 44 and a half. This will be made in TV, I think.

Yep.

For sure.

I'll agree. This is a big game because obviously could be playoff seating. Rams and Eagles both top of the NFC. Jalen Hurts coming off 253 yard passing. So he's been hot.

What?

I didn't say anything.

Yeah, so he.

What Was that stat?

253 yard passing for.

For Hertz.

Yeah, he's coming off that.

Against who?

Against the Cowboys and.

Yeah. Yeah.

Combined combined passing yards.

I don't.

I don't care. I mean, Max, you just gotta lean into it because Saquon has been awesome against the Rams.

Oh, my God.

He's destroyed the Rams.

I have the stats. You have the stats?

I got some of the stats. Which one were you going to?

I was going to just say all of them, but go ahead.

You go.

You go first.

All right.

He's had two games last year, 460 yards, four touchdowns, 8.8 yards per rush, and he's had touchdown runs of 62 yards, 78 yards, 70 yards, 72 yards.

So 460 yards.

That's insane. 4.

How is that possible? I saw that statue and I didn't look. I didn't. I didn't care to examine it.

That's like four. Jalen hurts passing games.

That's.

So it's 460 yards rushing against the Rams.

Like that one.

That was good. That was good.

Yeah.

Or how does that break down?

But guess what? Pft. I don't know if you know who the Rams have now. Puna Ford.

They do have Puna Ford. Huge, huge get for them.

Yeah.

I don't know if the Rams are. Are good or I don't know if they've played against bad teams.

Yeah, I.

Cause you. It's impossible to tell with Rams. We'll talk a little bit with Smooth about it later.

You could say the same thing for the Eagles, though.

The Rams. Yeah, that's true. Good point. The Rams don't blow teams out in the regular season. In the playoffs. Last year they blew out the. The Vikings, but they just don't do it. You can go back, like, I think two seasons. You have to go back over two years, maybe three years to find the last time that they beat a team by, like, 15 points.

Yeah, that was.

I said the stat on Sunday. Yeah, it was 2013 or. Sorry, 20, 23, week 10.

Yeah.

So they. They don't blow teams out. We don't know how good they are, but we know. I think we can say that the Eagles are. Are probably good, right?

Eagles are very good. They're super bowl champs.

Yeah.

What are you looking at, Max?

Zach pulled this up. He just happened to pull up. Jalen hurts his super bowl throwing stats. But that's.

Oh.

Oh, he. He just happened to pull it up. What do we think about the fact that Sean McVay tore his plantar fascia?

Football guy? Yeah, football guy.

He's didn't miss a practice, right?

That sucks.

Is he going to be in a scooter?

I don't know.

I would like to see Sean McVeigh on like one of those one legged scooters.

I did that in high school.

Sideline sucks. You got a history of that thing.

Also, the Eagles have owned the Rams 9 and 1 against the Rams since 2005, dating back to 2005, including the playoffs. And the only time the Rams beat the Eagles was the COVID year doesn't count.

Max, I got a question for you about the. About the Birds are Jalen Hurts and A.J. brown. Okay.

This is. We're just going to keep doing this.

Now.

If you look at the stat like AJ Brown hasn't really done anything and he's, you know, he's a kind of a diva wide receiver and that's a good thing. I think that to be a true number one, you got to have a little bit of shit like that. Is everything okay between them?

Yes.

He went on like a. He went on someone's podcast and just said it's bullshit that every time he does when they win the game and every time he doesn't touch the ball, people get mad.

I don't think anyone gets mad about that.

Yes, I do.

Max, I have a good stat for you. Did you know that you just had.

A lot of good stats?

Well, I did.

I. Yeah. Yeah.

The good news for that relationship is that it looks like Emmanuel Forbes might be guarding A.J. brown this weekend, which would be great for the Eagles.

That's your boy.

That never. Never my boy.

That's your boy. You love him.

Manny never skinny legs. Never been my boy. He weighs about 130 pounds and he will have a hard time dealing with AJ Brown if that's the matchup.

I'm very excited for this game. Jalen hurts in games that he has started and finished. He is 18 and oh, in his last 18 games, they started and finished. That's pretty.

That's a great. That's. Now that's a hell of a stat. That's a hell of a stat.

The Eagles, and he doesn't give a fuck about how they just keep winning. They just keep winning. So are you nervous for this game, Max? Yes.

The Rams. The Rams are a good team. It's. I'm happy that we're at home. I think that mitigates a little bit of My nerves. Is that the right word there?

Yeah, that was perfect.

Nice.

Yeah.

I should have trusted myself right off the. Right off the rip. The offense is nerve wracking. The offense is nerve wracking because the offensive coordinator has not been too creative with his play calls.

Talking about Kevin Petula.

Yeah.

Great Italian man.

I don't like that they named him Kevin. I'm just gonna say it. That's not a Italian name. I'm just like, you have the good last name with the vowel. Give us a Tony. Give us a Dom. Give us a Vinnie.

Maybe a Joey.

Joey.

Yeah.

Joey works. Maybe even a Johnny.

A Carmine.

Johnny Petula. Johnny Kevin Petula doesn't work. I just say it's an Irish name.

Yeah.

No, I would like for him to, you know, get into his bag a little bit more for this game because I think the Rams have a good offense. I think. I think there's going to be points scored in this game, and I think we're going to have to keep up.

Keep up. Imagine how many passing yards Jalen Hurts would have this season through two weeks if it was Salvatore Petula calling the place Sally Petula. Sal Petula. Holy shit. I mean, that would be incredible.

Four touchdowns.

Yeah.

Super happy.

Don Patula.

Don Petulo would be awesome. I just.

I don't know.

Maybe he needs to change his name. Okay, so you're nervous.

Yeah, I'm nervous.

I think I'm going to take the Rams plus three and a half. I just think it's be a close game.

I think so. I think that's. That's a fair.

And I think the Rams, like we said on Sunday, they maybe kind of woke up a little bit offensively because Stafford wasn't in training camp. But that second half against the Titans, it was like, oh, okay, here we go. Took them a game and a half. They might be ready to go. All right, jets at bucks. Bucks minus seven over under 43 and a half memes. Let's fucking talk right now.

Okay.

The Bucks are, by the way, wearing their white creamsicles. Awesome jerseys. Awesome jerseys. I think the jets could win this game. They should win this game.

They should.

They should.

Shortly.

We're talking. We're talking rest.

We're not talking rest. Their entire 75% of their offense is hurt.

The Bucks. The Bucks, yes.

And Abuka hasn't practiced for two days, so they might be down to one receiver. They're down to one offensive lineman.

Yeah.

You think they should win? They're not going to.

Now. They were down some linemen On Monday night too. But then they lost their best lineman after that game.

Cody Mock is out for the year.

How long can you keep this up?

Three of their linemen who are their starters are out.

Are out. And their left guard is a practice squad guy.

Yeah.

Are you a Tyrod Taylor believer? Excuse me? To Rod.

To Rod.

I am a Torod Taylor believer.

Because your coach seems to be the biggest believer of all time.

I mean, he's a better quarterback throwing the ball than Justin Fields.

Well, so that's. That's definitely true.

Right.

But what Aaron Glenn or. Sorry, not Aaron Glenn. What would. Todd Bowles was almost like more of a believer than Aaron Glenn was.

Yeah.

Because Todd Bowles says that he's just as good. He can run just as good as Justin Fields.

I don't know about that.

He says he gets out of the pocket. He's very elusive that way. He knows where to go with football. But he said he can run just as good as Justin Fields. I. I don't know that that part's true.

No, he was running a little bit last week. He's just old and slower now.

Well, fun, fun little wrinkle for this game. Baker Mayfield started his career replacing to Rod Taylor. He came in relief for the Browns seven years ago. I think he brought them. I think they were down like 14, nothing. And they. And Baker came back and won that game. So, yeah, these guys know each other.

They know each other. Tyrod Taylor to Rod is 2 and O against the Bucks. The Jets, I believe, have a winning record against the Buccaneers too.

Okay.

And I don't think the Buccaneers do well in alternate uniforms. I'll have Zach fact check me.

We can look that now. I would say that the, the orange Creamsicles are the better jersey if you have to put them up against the white Creamsicles.

Whites are pretty nice. The whites are so sick because they're like understated. The orange Creamsicles, I love them, but they're obviously it's a lot of. It's a lot of like orange.

It's heavy cream on the orange ones.

Yeah.

These white ones are a little subtle, kind of a little bit smoother. Good, good, good uniforms. We are extremely hurt. I'm a little bit nervous here. Jets could win this, but I would.

Like to see the Bucks win.

What are you guys gonna do? A mayor's bet? What do you want?

Bet.

We got Hank.

I got a clock. Addition or substitution?

Okay. Idea.

Give it to us.

Countdown to the 10 year anniversary of the show.

Oh, okay.

That's a Good one. Yeah, I like that one.

Was that about the jets or the Bucks or.

Nope.

Just.

No, I just.

Fine.

Well, they were brought up the booth, and I just.

Yeah, that's a good addition.

I like that. Yeah.

What would you guys bet?

Loser has to get a clock. Countdown to their death. And we just pick a random day, and then we kill you.

Death clock.

Yeah.

Week three, death clock.

Week three, death clock.

Oh, all right. Yeah.

Wants to do.

All right. Yeah. Yeah, we'll do.

We'll do the math and we'll see, like, the average lifespan of an American male.

And we'll just bump it up. We'll be like, oh, no, you know, 85. 85 years old.

85'S a great.

I mean, that's great number.

But it would also kind of. You up seeing it.

Yeah.

Every second matters.

Yeah.

Then you just start thinking about all the things you like, the time you waste. Like if you had an actual clock on it.

That's terrifying.

Yeah.

It might make you more productive or you just spiral. It's like, every second matters to me. I gotta. I gotta be productive. Right. I gotta. I gotta get out there. Live life to the. The fullest. Too productive, maybe. Too productive.

Yeah.

You know what? To Rod's record as a starter is no. 28. 28 and 1.

Oh, I love it.

Yeah.

I. I thought that he would.

Yeah.

A tie if it's to Rod.

Yeah.

If he. I thought that he would have more overall starts than that. But we also have to remember that he has, like, the weirdest, freakiest injury history.

Yeah.

Of any quarterback probably to ever play. The time when he got his lung punctured. Getting a painkilling shot by the Chargers team doctor stands out to me. I hope he's healthy. I like watching him play when he's healthy. Memes. Good luck this weekend. I am. I'm rooting for the Jets. I want to see you happy on Sunday.

I want to see me happy, too. I don't think it's gonna happen.

They could win this game.

I think they could win. There's a great opportunity for Aaron Glenn especially. There have been some people already turning on him.

Oh, man, that's crazy.

Who's turning on him?

The media. He's been one wording the media. Press conferences.

He's been one wording him.

One wording him or like, two wording.

And he's just like, we got to.

Watch film, like, after every single question.

Yeah.

Kalija can see also out.

Also.

We should shout out sauce. Gardner's been really good. He's Back.

He's back. He had a little bit of a rough week last week against Bills. A lot of holding penalties, but good opportunity. You shut down Mike Evans. There's no other receivers.

So.

Yeah.

What is up with the book exactly?

It's a groin slash. Hip. So he's been out the past two practices.

Groin slash hit.

And you don't think he's going to play?

Jack, he didn't practice the last two days. He might still play, but I don't. There's no way to know.

Yeah, the question I was getting at is like who is going to see Brandon Stevens.

Sterling Shepherd, Sterling Shepard and who's it? Tom Miller.

I could see Brandon Stevens locking up Tom Miller now.

He, Brandon seems had another play last week that was just like farm fireman to the sun. Yeah, the James Cook run. He just gave up.

Yeah.

Okay. Pft. Your game. Raiders at command. Oh, by the way, they are. I think they're honoring the super bowl team at the Bucks. I think Gruden's going to be there.

Oh, that's cool.

Yeah.

So Keyshawn.

Little. Little juice there. Raiders of commanders. Commanders minus three over under 44 and a half. Is it Marcus Mariota time?

I think it's Mariota time. I, I do want to see him play. I, I would love if. I would love it if Jaden was healthy but I also recognize it's early on in the season and yes, I think back to RG3 and how he tried to play through a sprained knee, sprained mcl and it didn't end up good for anybody. I. I would like to see Mariota. I think he's probably the best backup quarterback in the NFL. He was great last year. He was awesome against the Cowboys. And this is actually. So for all the talk about Jaden possibly being injury prone, this is the first start that he will miss as a quarterback if he does miss this game.

Oh, did he come out of the game against the Panthers?

Yeah.

Yeah. So he. Unlike the third run that he had of the game that feels like hurt his rib. Yeah, we'll start. Yeah, but he didn't miss a start after that because he played against the Bears the next week. I think this might be the first miss start of his career. I. I'm actually hoping that he doesn't play this weekend.

Yeah.

I, I personally talk of sophomore slump.

I personally asked him to. I know it's HIPAA to discuss his injury problem, but I'm personally asking him to just take it easy. Yeah, just take it easy for everybody. Take it Easy. We're going to get some Tom Brady discussions because he did call the week one game of the Giants and the commanders. Now the Raiders are coming to town, but it's a short week for the Raiders and it's a very long week for the commanders. So we had a mini buy after Thursday night and then the Raiders played late night on Monday.

Yep.

And so I, I personally would take the commanders to cover the spread, regardless of who the quarterback is.

I would agree with you. It's been a long week for Geno Smith, too. He claims that he watched the film 10 times for Monday night.

There's no chance that's possible.

Said it was a tough to watch. Honestly, you can't just flush it. You have to learn from it. Take what they give me. It's that simple. 10 times.

I hope that his big takeaway from watching the film 10 times was give the ball to Ashton Genti More.

And Ashton Genti said that. He said, I don't think you draft a guy like me to not give me carries and touches. I'm ready for the responsibility. I got to continue to get better. There's a learning curve to the NFL. None of the.

For.

It's very early, but for all the talk about this running back class, no one's popped.

Yeah.

None of them block.

Oh, are you talking about Trayvon?

Yeah.

And Genti.

Yeah.

Omarion Hampton waiting for him.

Yeah.

Scatterbo's had some nice runs.

Scatterboo's been awesome.

Yeah.

But yeah, Caleb.

What's his name? Caleb Johnson had the Walking away from a touchdown.

Yeah.

It's been bad for running backs. We thought that they were back and now every gym's like, that's why. That's why I don't trust any of you guys.

Get me a sake 26.

Yeah. Yeah.

I, I think that they're going to try to feed Genti more because they got to see what they have, right?

Absolutely.

Like, for the most part, when I've watched Jinty and he's gotten the touches, he's looked good. He hasn't looked great. But I think they want to see him at the peak of his abilities and be like, is this guy going to be a difference maker?

Yeah. Okay.

Next up, Falcons and Panthers. I don't know. Panthers are probably dead.

I don't know.

Like, I don't want to bet on the Panthers, but I'm probably going to end up betting on the Panthers because they're five and a half point underdogs at home in a division game. But I think The Falcons are good.

I've got a fix for the Panthers. Stop passing the ball to Xavier Leggett.

Yeah.

Stop throwing to Xavier Leggett.

Ted McMillan's awesome because.

So here's a stat. When they threw to Xavier leggette, Bryce was 1 for 8 passing, negative 2 yards and a pick. When he was throwing to anybody not named Xavier Leggett. 34 for 47, 330 yards, three touchdowns, no picks.

Okay, get it to tat.

Get it to tat. I like Xavier. I hope that Xavier is able to have a good season. But right now he's not playing well, and the entire offense kind of goes how he goes.

Yeah, I think I'll be heavy Bijan on this game. Heavy Bijan. The day the Sports Info Solutions guys gave me a stat that they're heavy. Falcons are heavy zone running team, and the Panthers have the worst success rate defending those runs. Yeah, Heavy Bichon.

They.

They love giving him ball at running back. They also love sending him out to, like, a slot or receiver position and then throwing them. Yeah, the offense runs through Bijan.

Yeah.

Okay, so Texans at Jaguars. Jaguars minus one and a half over under 40. Four and a half. This is the ninth final game in the early slate. What are we thinking? Texans have. Listen, the Texans are owned, too, but they also have lost to the Bucks and the Rams. Hungry dog runs faster.

Oh, yeah.

Defense looks good.

C.J. shroud said they had to. They have to have the hard conversations in the locker room.

What do you think those are?

You guys want to do a couple hard conversations? I'd like to do a hard conversation real quick.

The hard conversation about their running backs who are named Chubb and Woody. That's probably hard because I actually went back and I. I think that the Texans have led the league in hilarious backfield combinations over the last 15 years. Okay, they've got Chubb and Woody. They had Smelly Johnson. They had Aryan Klutz, and they had David Duke. Oh, they're just addicted to having funny name.

It is very funny.

That line up for him.

We need to get a Richard when Joe Mixon gets back.

Yeah, that'd be good.

Richard Mixon would be hilarious.

Yeah.

Or Mixon and then at Water. Is there an Atwater in the NFL right now, Steve? Get him on there. But, yeah, let's have a hard conversation about. About the Texans.

Well, no, I was gonna have a hard conversation about the Texas. I was just gonna have a hard conversation. The Ryder cup is out. I think I'm really, really bad at golf, boys. I Think I'm ready to admit that I'm. It's not my sport. I don't know what to do.

I was gonna say bad tape out there.

The shot tracker on my drive that when like 2 inches was very mean.

I was going to say, at least you're having fun out there, but you're not.

I was having fun at the tournament. All non golf parts of the tournament. I had a blast hanging with the boys. Like we hung out, like we were staying. I think it was me, you wit Kirk biz at a cabin. We hung out every night in the backyard, in the patio. Was so much fun. Soon I had to play golf. Wasn't fun.

I would like to say this when it comes to, and this is in general with golf, because people, people, you know, people are saying you're terrible at golf. People are saying pft is terrible golf. People are saying I'm terrible at golf. They go, all you do is golf. First of all, golf is.

It's.

It's about having fun with. With your boys.

Reminder, by the way, we're having a hard conversation right now. I guess, I don't know.

This is a hard conversation. This is more just a rant, but it's like golf, keep it to hard. Here's our conversation. If you think you're good at golf, you're just as far away from being a pro as we are. You have a 0.0 conversation of being a pro as we do. If you're a 2 handicap or a 25 handicap, we have the same amount of chance of going pro. So that's a fact. And the beauty of golf is the handicap system. You just have to be better than you normally are on average that day.

Yeah, that's it. That is a fact. It's a fact, Hank. It is a hard conversation. Also, alternate shot is the most stressful format, especially if you're teamed up with somebody that's much better than you.

Yeah.

And then you just feel like a raging piece of shit the entire time because you are the entire reason why your team might not be winning.

Yeah, I'm a scramble guy. Because then you could just be like, hey, you're not going to get a lot from me. You'll get a couple of. But you're not going to get a lot. Yeah, that's a good point.

Booth.

You guys want to have a hard conversation? How's the diet going?

It's okay.

Down 17 through 2 max.

Look at me right now. We're having a hard conversation. We're doing the C.J. stroud the Texans are having hard conversations right now. It's not easy conversation time. It's hard conversation time.

I didn't have a great week, but, you know, it ended up. I just didn't. Didn't lose any weight this week, but I barely. I didn't really gain any either. I gained a half a pound. I gained a half a pound. That's nothing.

Also, the week's not over.

I barely gained any weight.

I mean, gaining a half a pound.

Like that, that's weight.

That's nothing.

Yeah, and I. And I had a bad week, so, like. But I had some good days mixed in with some bad days.

What was it that did it for you.

This.

This weekend? I got super drunk one night, and.

Then I woke up.

I woke up the night I. I know. Yes.

Like, you. One thing about our guy Max, if you don't let him drink beers, he's gonna die.

So, yeah, I woke up the next morning, I was like, at least I didn't drunk eat. And then my fiance was like, you ordered so much Taco Bell, which you.

Got to do, Max, you start the night off and you're like, I'm gonna drink healthy tonight. And you drink a vodka soda for your first drink, and then after that, then you're like, ah, it. I'll just have some beers. But at least you had that first drink as a vodka soda.

Yeah, no, I started with two martinis that night, but that's basically a vodka soda.

That's what I love about Max, so. Because he's just like. I was talking about his diet, I guess might have been a couple weeks, months ago, and you're just like. I was like, what about cutting out drinking? He's like, I gotta drink, like, 20, 30 beers.

Yeah.

I mean, especially during football season. It's like, come on, it's. There's nothing better than, like, a Saturday in Chicago going from bar to bar with all of your boys.

Yes.

Like, you have a different bar for a different. For the different slate. Everything. All the bets are together. You're gonna drink 20 beers. Yeah, I'm gonna drink 20 beers on a Saturday.

There is not the. The, like, bar hopping, like, the casual bar hopping, when you just. All you do is change, like, a lit. Like the location and. And the angle of what you're looking at TVs by going to a different bar. And you all of a sudden are like, oh, this is a completely different experience. There's. There's nothing better. Yeah, it's. It's so true. You're like, oh, I got A new. I can stay here for another three hours and then you switch it again. Another three hours.

It's the best.

It's the best.

All right.

What game are we even on?

We're on the Texan Jaguars.

Okay.

Down 17, by the way. Collectively.

Let's go.

Zach is a. Being a beast.

Yeah.

Great.

That was hard. Conversations Team Game by PMT okay, Afternoon slate. Broncos.

Do we want to talk about Brian Thomas at all?

Yeah, he's got. He's got. He's got some bad tape.

Bad tape out there. I've heard. Also this might just be like a Twitter rumor that he's going through something personal. Oh, in which case that'd be bad. But then Liam Cohen said that he's got a wrist problem.

Ah.

So he might have alligator wrists.

Okay.

Not the full arm.

We got to get that fixed out.

Hard conversation about Travis Hunter or.

Not yet. He is.

He got.

That was bullshit. Defensive pass interference.

He's also the leading receiver for the Jaguars. Nine catches.

That was a hard conversation. I like hard conversations. TA Stroud, shout out to you. Strap. We're having a hard conversation. All right, Broncos. The Chargers. Chargers minus two and a half. The over under is 45 and a half.

Regression of the mean.

I kind of like the Broncos. I feel like this is one of those games that if. If the Chargers kill the Broncos, the Chargers are just really fucking good.

I think.

I think they're very good. But, like, if they kill the Broncos, they're just really fucking.

I think this. We're on stranglehold watch for the Chargers.

Yeah.

If they win this to be three and.

Oh, three and.

Oh.

All games in the division.

Yeah.

That feels like we're in stranglehold territory.

Yeah. Yeah.

Sean Payton did come out and basically took blame for the loss against the Colts, which I.

It.

I feel you'd be pissed if you're a Broncos fan, but also nice that you can stop arguing about leverage because he literally came out and said, yeah, that was leverage. And also, I fucked up. I shouldn't have been doing an aggressive field goal block on a 60 yard field goal. That was my mistake.

Yep. Yep. He said it.

And so, yeah, I. I'm gonna be. It'd be very interesting. No. Cleo Mack, obviously. I feel like the Broncos. I'm probably gonna take the Broncos in this game, but it might just be. I watched. Did you guys watch that Quentin Johnson touch? I watched it probably like 15 times. Justin Herbert throwing a 60 yard ball on a rope. I don't like. I know there's been a Ton of unbelievable passes, but the fact that Quentin Johnson didn't even stop, like, a little bit of his stride, it was just perfection.

I thought you said the fact that he caught it well.

Yeah.

That it was a perfect pass.

He's been catching the ball.

He has been.

He's been better this year.

Yeah.

But that thing was like. It was a fucking bomb that somehow floated into his arms as he was running, and he never broke stride.

You know what I love about that? I think from that camera angle, it was like a, what, 54 yards in the air?

Yeah.

I don't think it ever left the screen, did it?

No.

And it looked.

You could watch the ball the entire.

Time, and it was so, like, it doesn't. Justin Herbert has effortless, like, arm strength.

Oh.

It didn't even come close to leaving the screen.

No, it was perfect.

That was just a laser beam that.

He threw and shout out. The Chargers, I think they finally have realized, hey, we should let our really, really good quarterback throw the ball.

Yeah.

Let him cook a little bit.

Let him cook.

Yeah.

I. I think I like the Broncos, too, though. Even though the Chargers have been awesome this year, I just feel like this is a very important game for the Broncos. They can't lose last week and then not respond from it.

I want to throw you guys A stat real quick. Player A. Player B, blind resume. Ready for it? Player A, 80 games through their first 80 games. Win, loss, 42 and 38. 62.1% completion percentage, 20,000 yards, 138 passing touchdowns, 100 interceptions. Playoff wins and losses, 0 and 3. Player B, 81 games, 43 and 38. 62% completion percentage, exactly the same. 21,000 passing yards, 142 passing TDs, 45 interceptions, 02 in playoffs, wins and losses. That's Peyton Manning. Justin Herbert. Literally identical.

Yeah.

Now, Peyton Manning played in a different era, but still.

Well, then they had to change the rules.

They had.

So he could win the playoffs.

Yes.

But identical start to their careers. Pretty good if you're Justin Herbert.

Yeah.

Okay. Oh, I didn't realize this. You see, Colin Coward said that. He said I'd make an argument today. The greatest coach in the history of football is not Bill Belichick or Bill Walsh or Vince Lombardi. It's Jim Harbaugh.

That is a hell of a take.

Hey, get off our corner.

That was.

That's our take.

Let's talk about it. Let's have the conversation.

We're having it. How many have the hard conversation?

All right, you got to start out with Super Bowls. So off the top of my head, what are they probably tied in Super Bowls. If you're having this conversation, I'd actually.

I. I don't think you have to start Super Bowls.

I think you have to start national.

National champions.

How many national championships is that?

Probably check Bill Washer. Vince Lombardi have zero.

Okay. And then the other guy, I forget probably has a few of them.

He has one.

Okay. But.

So they just probably got the Super Bowls.

Yeah. But he also making Stanford good at football counts as a Super Bowl.

That is. That is actually valid. Yes, I will agree with that.

Yeah.

I think it's a little early for that. Let's have. We love coach Harbaugh.

Let's.

Let's have him win a Super bowl first.

Yeah.

He would probably tell you to off.

Yeah. He'd be like, hey, I want to win a Super bowl first. Okay. Saints at Seahawks. Spencer Rattler is zero. Nate, as a starter. Will he get his first win this week?

Week, yes.

You think they're going to win?

I think. I think they're going to win.

You think the Saints are going to be the Seahawks? I like. I like it.

I think that they might. Yes.

I'm going to take the Saints plus seven. I don't know if they're going to win the game.

Hungry dog Hank.

Maybe. No. Maybe.

Okay. I think Beast quake when I. When these two teams play in Seattle for sure.

Yeah.

And this would be Spencer's first win.

First win.

First one as a starter.

First win as a starter.

The Seahawks aren't as great at home as they have been in the past.

Yeah.

No, it's been weird.

You want it in the Sarlay?

Yeah.

Can I put that in there? Yeah, let's go. Saints money line.

All right.

I like it. You're a bold man who dad. That's a hard conversation. Meet at a hard conversation you're gonna have to have with yourself on Monday morning is I put. I bet on money Line on Spencer Rattler's never won an NFL game.

0 and 8.

That's a hard.

I went back. I watched his series on Netflix. He's got some good film out there, too. It's not just him being a. Yeah.

The.

The Seahawks have not been as good at home that.

Not as. And they're, you know, still like a better team at home than on the road. But it's not like it was in the early 20 teens. Yeah. The heyday of it.

Yeah. Yeah.

Cardinals, 49ers. Cardinals and 49ers. 49ers minus two and a half over under 45 and a half. I really like the 49ers in this game. I'm not buying the Cardinals yet.

Yeah, they've played some bad teams.

Well, that and also I cannot, will not, should not bet on a quarterback that took a picture and put on Instagram of him in a Michael Vic.

Jersey with a pit bull with his dog. He said, I saw how it affected people and decided to take it down. I apologize to anybody and whoever I affected. He apologized to you?

Yeah, he did.

But, yeah, the picture. He said that he wore the Mike Vick jersey earlier in that day.

Yeah.

Then he went home, he saw his pit bull.

Trunks, Trunks, Trunks. And shout out. This is trunk.

Yeah, shout out. Trunks, Trunks. Looks like a very good boy.

Wild picture to post.

Now, in his defense, he's wearing a Virginia Tech Mike Vick jersey, which was.

Before Bad News Kennels, but there might have been others.

You think Mike Vick was just in it, like, long haul. This was what he was doing.

Maybe. I just know. So this is one of those situations where I'm not like, oh, my God, Kyler Murray, like him for life. How could you do that? It's more. If your quarterback's making. If this is the judgment of your quarterback, that's a bad sign.

The decision making process.

Decision making process is lacking.

You know what this tells me? Kyler's been back online gaming.

Yeah.

Because this is definitely something that, like, you would make a joke to your friends in the Discord Chat. Like, hey, you won't. You won't take a picture wearing a mic. Victor. Is he in a pit bull?

Yeah.

And then you go out there and you do it. Yes, I agree. Also, that dog might outweigh Kyler Murray.

Trunks.

Trunks is a big boy.

Trunks.

So, yeah, it's a Trunks bet.

Yeah.

You can't. You just can't bet on the Cardinals after that. You can't. Also, here's a fun fact that I was shocked by. Did you know that Kyle Shanahan is 7 and 9 straight up versus the Cardinals, his worst record against any team.

Yep.

But I dug into it a little bit more. Kyler Murray is one in three. He's four. Kyler Murray is four and four against the 49ers, but he's one in three against Robert Salah. Being the defensive coordinator on the 49ers.

If you.

I've read a bunch of stuff. It feels like the 49ers defense got a little of their mojo back with Robert Salah.

I think they did. And I also think that the Cardinals defense has lost whatever mojo they were hoping to have because they. I think they're down three cornerbacks.

Yes.

That won't be playing in solidarity with the Niners who have lost like all their receivers.

Yes.

The Cardinals were like, fair is fair. We'll take some of our guys out too.

Yeah, I. Brock Purdy is practicing. Maybe so he might play, but I just roll out Mac Jones again.

Brock Purdy is threatening to play this weekend.

He's telling everyone, watch out. Okay, last afternoon game, Cowboys at bears. Bears plus one and a half over, under 50 and a half. The game of the week.

See Ben Johnson's comments.

What do you say?

They asked him about the Tom Brady situation.

What'd he say?

He said it's overblown. I don't think it's a big deal at all.

Okay, but did he also say it was weird?

No, they didn't ask him if it was Bruce.

Bruce arians was on McAfee show. He said, yeah, that's. That's completely overblown. I used to just tell him the truth because no one believed me anyway. Dana Orlofsky went on espn, said it was weird.

Nope.

But no one's talking about the. The only thing we're asking is is it weird?

They would have said if it was weird. They all said no, they weren't asked. Your only source right now is Florio.

What did Dan say?

Dan? I'll read the quote exactly.

I'd like to know what Dan said and also how many interviews Dan Orlovsky's been in as he's probably talking as broadcaster.

I don't think it brings integrity into the equation. I don't think Tom gathering the season changing information that he's going to be able to acquire to bring back to the Raiders that's going to help them win the game. Okay, so essentially not weird is the translation of that.

I think I stand by my take that it's weird.

We don't know if it's weird or not.

Are you worried, Big Cat, about the Matt Eber flu revenge game?

Slightly. Here's. Let's have a hard conversation. I've crunched the numbers. This is a gateway game. If the Bears win this game, and I'm not saying that the Bears are going to win this game because Jalen Johnson is out for a very long time. We don't have any cornerbacks. Ones we have are not great. The defense has been just absolutely lit up. Cowboys have a really good offense. It's going to be a tough One game to win. But it's a gateway game. And by that I mean if the Bears win this game, don't be shocked if the bears are 5 and 4 or 6 and 3.

Okay?

But they have to win this game. If they have to win, they don't.

Win this game, then, you know, forget it. Couldn't they still be five and four?

No, no.

Season's over. It's a gateway game. This is the gateway.

I think it might be a gateway game for your feelings about Caleb Williams as a quarterback.

I'm not talking. I'm talking about the Bears season.

Caleb.

Because if they go on three, it's going to be just full. Like, Caleb's got to look good. I'm talking about the Bears season as it stands. They win this game, we are now going through the portal. And then I'm gonna snap my fingers, and you can even make this edit. Snap my fingers. Holy shit. The Bears are five and four. Bears are six and three.

Six and how the fuck did that. So six and three would be special because that would literally mean that you are above a 6 out of 10. That would mean that you're a 6 out of 9, which is more excited than you were just saying.

They gotta win this game, though. If they don't win this game, none of this matters. They're owing three and they just suck. And that's very much on the table.

You do have snap the fingers, they lose this game. And where they're at after nine.

Oh, nine.

Remember we went through the schedule on Monday and you were like, I think it was loss.

Loss.

Yeah.

Loss. Yeah.

Loss. Yeah.

I don't know if you know this about me, but what did coacho say? Like, competition Tuesday get better wet. Like, tell the truth Wednesday, whatever. By Thursday. Every week I'm back isn't Thursday.

No repeat. So Big Cat's literally not repeating.

Yeah.

His take from earlier.

Ye.

No, someone pointed that out when I tweeted that it's a gateway game. They're like, dude, like what you said on Monday, like, how is it possible? I'm like, it's Thursday now, buddy.

We're.

We're ready to go again. They could very. They probably will lose this game. So I'm not saying they're going to win this game. I'm just saying don't let them win this game. Because when they win this game or if they win this game, we're thinking five or five and four.

So after they win this game, then you have the Raiders win.

Which if they win.

Yeah.

Then you go to the Commanders, that's probably a loss.

But if they beat the. If they're on a two game win streak, they might just be good.

They might just rip another one off. Then they have the Saints at home win. Then they go to the Ravens.

If this is a four game win streak, they might just be really good.

And then they go to the Jake.

Browning in the Bengals.

Yeah.

And then the Giants.

The schedule gets easier.

I'm just saying watch out. But again, when they lose, like when we snap my fingers Sunday night and they got blown out by the Cowboys, season's over. If there is one gateway game, I love a good gateway.

If there's one thing that Matt Eberfluss is really good at, he is figuring out ways for the Bears to lose football games. Yeah, that's what I would be concerned about.

Yeah, the.

I do like the. Ben Johnson basically called out everyone, and a lot of it feels. People think it might be DJ Moore, but this feels like a gut check point for the Bear season. It's a gateway game.

I'm also, I'm actively monitoring Ben Johnson and how. How well he's able to do coach speak.

Yeah.

His first season as a head coach, I think he's done really well in the coach speak department. Like, they asked him about last week, and for the most part, he was like, I did a really, really bad job.

Yeah.

He's.

Everything's on me.

He's extremely honest, which I love. He's. He's saying it how it is. And like, you wouldn't think a new coach would call out his team like that. Being like, we're not even close to, like, a. A good football team. We're gonna have to compete more in practice. We're gonna have to ramp it up. Like, I like that. Culture change.

Yeah.

With a little cleanup on the Brandon Aubrey conversation from earlier this week, I actually heard from an NFL gm.

Okay.

About our debate.

Yeah.

He said he would go in the first two rounds.

You said first round.

He said first two rounds.

You said first round.

This guy said first two rounds.

That's changing the debate.

And a team could fall in love with them.

But that's changing the debate.

It's pretty close, though.

Well, if you said first two rounds, it might be different.

Okay.

But for first round, I just. There's just no way.

Okay.

Because like, the. The Cowboy. You know what the Cowboys, Giants game, like, the. You're like, oh, the Cowboys have Brandon Aubrey. He's incredible. He won that game. Do you know what would have won that game? If the Cowboys had a lockdown corner.

Right.

Probably more important because he plays in every snap on defense.

Was. Was Jerry Jones actually galaxy brain when he traded Micah Parsons? Because if Micah Parsons was in on that play in overtime, he'd probably sack Russell Wilson instead of Russell Wilson throwing that interception.

He was.

Yeah.

Think about it.

Yeah, listen, Brandon Aubrey, I talked to Todd McShay. He said probably, maybe second, probably third. Which, that's fine because he is very, very good. But I still think if you did a redraft the entire league, you draft a offensive and defensive lineman first, not Brandon Aubrey. Build the whole thing around kicker.

All it takes is one.

Also shout out to Steelers fans who are getting upset because they said that Chris Boswell. And I do. Chris Boswell does have to kick outside. Brandon Aubrey. Yeah, that's a big difference. All right, Chiefs at Giants Sunday night football. Giants plus six over under 45 and a half. I want to do a you guys ready for Rita AI headline because sports writing is going away and now we just have AI articles.

I've gotten addicted to looking at the different, like overseas Facebook groups for different teams that just make up stories entirely about them. Those are very fun to watch.

All right, here it is. It's from Nidhi. I think he's Indian. Patrick Mahomes set sights on Giants 11 and 4 record amid Chiefs three game losing streak.

Yeah, that's. That's one of those headlines. Yeah, Overseas. Like, like India. Chiefs fans.

Yeah.

Giants are 11 and 4 all time against the Chiefs. So that's what Patrick Mahomes is using his motivation for this week.

Yeah, he's pissed off.

He's pissed off that like 40 years ago the Giants beat the Chiefs a bunch.

He's really upset. He's fighting for the entire honor of the Kansas City area.

Yeah, I kind of like the Giants in this game. No, I don't think. I think the Chiefs are going to win six points. I don't think the Chiefs can blow anyone out right now.

Mahomes. Mahomes doesn't lose on Sunday Night Football. He just doesn't. Mahomes. Can you envision that? Like if, if you.

I don't. I can't.

If you do a little, just like a little look into the future. If you try to remote view it and you think about it. Use your imagination. Can you imagine Patrick Mahomes losing in MetLife Stadium.

No.

On Sunday night with Chris Collinsworth being like, well, none of us saw this coming tonight, Al.

But could you also imagine. Could you also imagine the Chiefs being up 20 to 16 in the fourth quarter and then just running like Mahomes. It's four minutes left, and if the Chiefs get a first down, the game's over. And Mahomes runs, scrambles for eight yards, and then ends the game.

Yeah.

Yeah, I could see that.

Yeah, I could see that, too.

The Giants might get Andrew Thomas back, which would be huge.

That would be enormous. Maybe Jackson dart package.

Maybe we see that. Yeah, the dart attack.

Dart attack.

Maybe more. Scatter Boo.

Ooh.

Scatter.

Boo.

Scout a boo. Busy, busy.

Got a boo. Got a boo.

All right.

We were so close to our parlay. That's my fault. Jordan Mason. I didn't score. I'll say this for everyone who wrote our parlay with us, the silver lining is no touchdowns in the game, period. Made it feel a little bit better.

Yeah.

Like, if everyone else had scored except Jordan Mason, I would have been very upset. They just didn't score. Touchdown. Yeah, but DraftKings, the NFL's back, and DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. Every play is a shot for you to win big, even if a play doesn't go your way. No sweat. DraftKings dishing out NFL no Sweat Touchdown bets for all customers this week. Opt in, get your no Sweat token and place an NFL touchdown bet. If your touchdown bet doesn't hit, you'll get it back as a bonus bet. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app. Use code TAKE. That's code TAKE and claim your no Sweat Touchdown Bet token in partnership with DraftKings. Crown is yours. Gambling problem, call 1-800-Gambler Gambling problem, call.

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To fill in for me? Because I lost?

Sure. Okay.

Afternoon games. What do you guys got?

Hank, I'm two zero. Also top the leaderboard on on picks for the guy that doesn't care about football.

Oh, okay. Busy, busy.

Scatter Boo. Scatter Boo.

Okay. All right.

I will go with Ricky Piersol.

Wow. Okay.

Like it?

I mean, what, should I take a chalkier pick.

Now?

Now I'm stuck.

Just go with your heart.

What do you got?

Well, for the Sarlay. The Sarlay for this week is Saints moneyline bill anytime. Touchdown score.

Okay.

I love that packers money line plus 8:30.

Okay.

No, I'll stick with busy, busy.

All right, let's get a boo.

All right. What do you got?

I am going to take Roma Dunes.

A. Oh, I like it.

I think there's gonna be a lot of. A lot of points in that game.

That's got to be a juicy one. So, Rome, Scatterbo, and what was yours?

I had Ricky Pearsall.

Ricky Pearsall?

Yeah.

So go bet that on the DraftKings sports book. Ride with us. That'll be a fun one. What is it? What is it? What are the odds right now?

It's gotta be juicy.

I don't know. I can't find Ricky Pierce.

He's on the 49ers.

I know that, but.

No, it sounds like you don't know that.

I know that he's on the 49.

I don't know.

He's not listening right now. Yeah, he's not listening right now.

Okay, then can I change mine then? Yeah, I gotta change it. If he's not up there, that.

That means there's only four players. I don't know why that is.

Right?

Yeah.

Is he not playing?

No, he probably is.

I probably will be, but maybe they're.

Waiting to hear about Purdy.

That.

That could make sense.

Okay, then I'll go with. I'm gonna go with jsn.

Okay.

All right, so bet that with us on the DraftKings sportsbook. Let's finish with our picks, and then we have Jerry o' Connell's fantasy minutes. What is that? What does it pay? Max is struggling.

You okay, Max?

Max, are you okay?

You took jsn?

Yeah.

Max is J. E G Brown.

Seahawks. He plays to the Seahawks, not the Ravens.

He's a wide receiver.

Yeah.

There it is. Oh, found it.

He was just searching.

Then you get. Got a click.

I couldn't. Spelling is hard.

Juicy. Juicy.

Max might need a new mouse. He might need one with wider buttons.

All right.

It's just one button.

It's a hard conversation. Do they make the hard conversation? They make those, like a computer mouse for fat guys.

I don't know. Remember that? I remember when, like, my grandmother, before she died, she. She lived with us, and we had that. We had to get the phone with the huge numbers.

I love using those.

Yeah, to get on that desk.

Luxurious. I wasn't saying Max. I said for fat people. The thing about you is a joke. I'm five foot nine.

Fat than short. You can always lose weight, Max, with that.

Yeah.

I could always move to a different country where everybody's shorter than here.

Nepal.

Yeah.

Pardon my take from Nepal. All right, do our picks and then we have Jerry's fantasy minute. Who is up first is Zach.

Max is up first.

Okay, Max.

I'm up first. I'm going to take bears cowboys over 50 and a half.

Yeah.

You knew that was going to go. You knew that was going to go. By the way, the standings are. You have four.

No, it's three. Three. Me and Hank have three. Big head, Zach two. Max one. Pft. Zero for four.

Four. Not the way you want to start a season. Oh, for four?

Yeah.

I don't think I've ever hit a total in the past two years, so.

Okay.

Okay.

Are you talking about the cereal?

Frank the Tank early Fleming here.

Total total's probably healthier.

Another total.

That's why you wouldn't have hit it. Max.

Oh, God.

Okay.

Max over in the Cowboys.

Bears. Yeah. Okay.

So I mean, it's over 50 and a half or.

Zach.

Zach.

I would like to take the over 44 and a half in the Rams Eagles game.

Oh, interesting. I'm taking the under in that game.

Okay.

I'm going to take the New York jets plus seven.

It's a great pick.

Is it?

I will be taking the Rams plus three and a half against the Eagles and.

Oh, no, Connor.

I will be taking.

Whoa.

I'll be taking the government over here. The Steelers patriots for over 44 and a half.

Ah, he got you on that one. He got you on that one.

I'll be taking the under in the Steelers Patriots. No, I can't do that.

I get another prank. You still take that though. I'll take Chargers minus two and a half.

I will take the under in the Raiders commanders 44 and a half.

Oh, I like that. I'll take the under in Giants Chiefs 45 and a half.

I'm gonna go Monday night.

Okay. Whoa.

I'm gonna take the Lions plus four and a half. Yeah, I went there.

I would like to take in the Titans Colts game. The Colts at minus four and a half.

Okay.

I would like to take the Chiefs minus six.

Wow. Bold.

All right, those are our picks. Are we ready for our Jerry?

I'm ready.

Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. So we don't watch these. Pft. And I do not watch these beforehand. When he sends it to us. So we have no idea we're watching for the first time with everyone else. Here we go.

All right.

Here we go.

All right, Memes.

Just put some, like, techno music on this. Okay?

Whatever.

You. You don't have to pay for it.

Here we go.

I got one minute.

And here we go.

Yeah. Hey, what's up? Welcome to Fantasy Puff, boys.

Yeah, look at us.

Chest and buys every day.

Chest and buys. Chest and buys. What are we doing?

Week three? Zach Ertz. You got to pick up Zach Ertz. Sick tight end. He's playing Vegas. The defense sucks.

Zach Ertz.

Also that other tight end, Jomar Johnson.

Out of New Orleans.

He's had, like, 16 points the last two weeks. You gotta pick him up. Juwan Johnson. What else? Everybody else should drop Caleb Johnson.

He's the worst.

Just like you let that ball drop. And you should pick up Najee Harris out of Los Angeles. His eye is all better.

Fastest healing part of the party. A lot of people don't know that.

That.

What else we got? Oh, this is really weird.

But you. You gotta stream Caleb Williams because the Dallas D sucks.

And also Mac Jones.

I did it under a minute, you big cat, you.

Oh, that was good.

How's our fantasy team doing?

I think we're 2 0.

Wasn't that the point of Jerry just has taken over the fantasy boys?

Yeah. No, I love it, though.

Yeah.

But I, I, I want to know what's going on with the fantasy. I want. I wish he was giving us a little update.

Of what?

Of the league? Yeah. Yeah.

I can pull it up right now. I'm pretty sure we're two zero. Jerry's. It's tough to tell because Jerry dominates the group chat. Regardless of if we win or if we lose, it's not going to stop him from just dropping the most random in there. Let's see. Jerry's kids, two zero. And we're in second place in the league right now. So, yeah, Jerry, he knows what he's doing. And they upped the buy in this year, too. Jerry went out and got more permission from his wife to spend money, which was very nice for her to let him do that. So, yeah, two zero.

Love it.

Love it. Okay, let's get.

Is the eye actually the fastest healing part of the body?

I don't know.

It sounded right.

Yeah.

Sounded right to me. All right, let's get to our interview with Fred. Smooth. Okay, before we get to Fred Smoot. Twisted tea. Twisted T new sponsor is a refreshing, hard iced tea made with real Brewed tea and 5% alcohol. Twisted tea is the perfect alcohol beverage to keep the good times going all season long. Whether you're hanging out at a friend's house, catching a game at the stadium or at the bar, or just seeing where the day takes you, Twisted tea is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time, a great time. Keep it twisted with twisted tea. I love the original. I love the big boy cans. I love the peach. There's so many good flavors with twisted tea and it is such a refreshing drink. So grab a tea, it's game time. Stock up on ice cold twisted tea today and send us a pic. Send us a pic of you enjoying a twisted tea, whether it be in your backyard, your living room, a game, wherever it may be. Send us that twisted tea. Grab a tea, it's game time. Stock up on ice cold twisted tea today.

Okay, here he is, Fred Smooth.

Okay.

We now welcome on a very special guest. He is our colleague, our friend. It is Fred Smoot in studio. Fred.

Yeah.

It's great to see you.

Always good to see you, brother.

It's great to talk. Should we. Where do you want to start? You want to start with Jaden Daniels? Are you nervous about his knee?

Yeah, we can start there. Let's. Let's go and get the elephant out the room.

Yep.

All right. Anytime you got a franchise quarterback and there's a chance he could be hurt, any fan base is feeling it. All right? Because it's this big if in the room. It's this big cloud over there. It's like if he doesn't play, luckily, luckily it's 20, 25 and we went cloned him. All right. No, no. Not only is that do we have a storing quarterback that's the number two pick in the ex Heisman trophy winner and the ex NFL rookie of the year. So is our number two quarterback. They have the same DNA. And the one thing we can say is when he had to play last year, Mariota, he came through and he showed up and he played. All right? So as much as I'm worried, I know we got a gatekeeper and when you got a gatekeeper, you got a chance.

I agree with that because Mariota against the Cowboys last year, Mariota against the Titans, he came in. Yeah, he was really, really good. So in terms of backup quarterbacks, I. I like where we're at. I am. I'll just say it. I'm nervous. I'm nervous because every time I watch Jaden get hit and I think he's led the league. I think he's been hit the most.

Yeah.

When you talk about running plays and tackles, he's taken sacks, he's taken and like, you know, quarterback pressures where he's ended up on the ground. I think he's been the most hit quarterback in the NFL since he got into the league. And every time I see it, I do, I. You cringe, I cringe. I get flashbacks. And when I see a sprained knee on a quarterback, let's not see him playing it at FedEx Field. I don't, I don't like where that's taking me.

Listen.

Yep.

I'm your counselor.

Yeah.

Please help me. You have, I'm diagnosing you now with RG3 PTSD. All right.

Well, I call it post traumatic Snyder.

Yeah. You, you have it.

Yeah.

All right. And there's nothing wrong with it, but it's a cure for that. And they just let the football gods do what they may because you can't stop them anyway. We're going to get hurt, we're going to get injured. You playing the most physical game. We just happen to have a quarterback that Wiley makes a lot of plays with his legs. So therefore it's going to be some times where he going to get hurt. We understand that. But that's why your cake is layered. And when you got a three layer layer cake, you can eat the top layer before you eat the second. Everything will be okay. They taste the same. Okay. They taste. Mario. The layer tastes just as good as the jaden layer for a short time.

Huh?

Josh Jake, I mean Josh Johnson, if he needs to get in there, that's.

A good layer too.

That's a good layer.

If it's a good layer, get to the Sam Hartman layer.

Now we in trouble.

Now you're out of cake.

Yeah.

I like this analogy. Is just like, hey, it's like eating cake. Now you feel better?

Yeah, I do.

I mean, work for Marie Antoinette. I, I think that it's going to be, it's going to be hopefully Mariota this weekend. I, I don't think so.

You went you with. Let's not rush this. It's early in the year.

I don't want to rush it. And Jaden's going to want to play.

Yes, he does.

Dan Quinn has said I need to see him practicing with the team fully in order for him to play with the team. I, I would feel more comfortable. And it's not like I'm underestimating the Raiders. I think that the Raiders, they did look bad on Monday night.

Football.

Yeah, they look good. Week one, and they've got. You know, they pay. They pay those guys to play football, too.

Yeah.

In Las Vegas. And I. I think that if we want to keep him away from Max Crosby for a week, let him heal up to the point. I don't know. It's probably a grade one sprain on his knee.

No, we don't know. There you go. Guessing.

Yeah.

Pie, father. Don't you do that. What you need to do is take what you do know, because we don't know anything. They didn't say it was a bruise. They didn't say it was a sprain. They didn't say it was anything because I know what played happen. I knew the play that he was running away from Parsons, and when he turned up the field, he looked, and then the guy cut him low.

Yep.

So that could be anything. All right, but what I'm saying is I'm with you on not rushing him, but if he has the ability to play, why not play? Because one thing I know about Coach Quinn, if he can't protect himself, Coach ain't putting him out there. So that's the big thing. This is a franchise quarterback. This is not a novelty. Like, this is not. Let's throw Spencer Rattler out there. Let's survive till we get Archie Manning look the same. No, we're not doing that. Like, this is. We got a franchise quarterback.

We.

We know. We know how to take care of him.

Okay.

All right, well, if he plays on Sunday, I mean, I'm gonna be excited to watch him play. I'm also going to be on edge. You know damn well that field, the.

FedEx field, it's not what it used to be.

It's got a body count.

No, no. This is what I can say. New ownership, they have reinforced, redone that field. We got one of the best grass fields in the league right now. All right? So we can't just. Because our girl used to treat us like this, she's treating us better now.

It's a new girl.

No, no. We went to counseling. We went to counseling. She took heed to what they said, and now she's actually cooking food now. She's actually looking out to your boy. Longest change happening. I'm never gonna knock that change and look back in the past and say, this is how it used to be.

Okay? We've all changed.

Yeah, we've changed.

We've become better people.

Yes, we did.

Yeah.

And so we're in a happier place right now. Okay, I'm gonna take that to heart and from. From your mouth to God's ears.

I hope that.

I hope you're right.

I hope it happens, man. Because we lost a lot of guys the other day. We lost E. We. We lost Dietrich Wise. We lost. But we signed Preston Smith, we moved Chris Rodriguez up. So we. We.

We.

We got some things in motion.

Gotcha. Fred, I got a question for you about. About defense.

Yeah.

I was watching Monday Night Football.

Yeah.

And I did. I watched till the very end. I know it was late on the east coast of the. The second game, the Chargers and the Raiders, and I. I walked away from that game thinking that we should be talking more about Derwin James.

Oh, first of all, where have you been the last four years?

I. I love watching him play. I do.

But.

Yeah, but the way that he was playing, I feel like he should be in that conversation.

For defensive player of the year.

Yes.

Most definitely. He's dead. He has that type caliber. He can cover to the T. He's an A plus in coverage. He's an 8 plus in physicality. He loves to play the run. He's a A plus in intensity. He's an A plus in leadership. He just never had a coach to help him lead the team to where they need to be it. Now he has the coach that matches everything that he's about. Darwin James. Now that they start to play playoff games, now that they'll start to play more Monday night games, more premier games.

Yeah.

People will get more love to Dorian James because he's an east coast guy, Southern guy. We're from Florida State. But sometimes you can get caught in purgatory over there in the west.

Yeah.

And everybody forget about you.

There's something about a safety like that that can just wreck a game.

That can wreck a game.

So fun to watch.

Because it ain't too many of them.

Them.

No.

We usually have four or five of them. Maybe six a year. That can change a game. Not so much this year. All right. But he is the one. He is legit leader one. And now he gonna have a little bit more on his plate with Khalil Mack coming up. Miss.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

All right. So we're two weeks into the season. I wanted to ask you this.02 feels.

Like death over it. Feel like death.

Death.

You've been on an Owen 2 team before. What? What? What's the vibe?

My rookie year morning Schottenheimer. We started off with Owens. Five, zero and six.

Something like that.

Yeah.

I was like, I'm never gonna win a game in my life.

Yeah, it does. It feel like.

It feels like that. It feels like you're lost. Your locker room is lost. Your fan base is like question marks. Like, wft. Like, they. Like what is going on. But you have to just get the first one. That's the thing about it. Put four quarters together and just get the first one. We don't care. Hell, the hot water. We don't care if the score 3, 0, get the first win. Get it under your belt so you don't have to think about that no more. And it's a lot of franchises, a lot of fan bases waking up this Sunday coming up, like, if we lose this game, it's over with. But I asked you, El Capitan, what's the difference in 02 and 03?

03 does feel way worse. I don't know.

1 and 2, they the same thing.

I know, but listen, like, you know, it's just. You go through the whole off season, you go through training camp, you're like, all right, this year, let's get on the right foot.

Promise.

Owen2 just. It just feel and it's. I know it's stupid to say this because it is a long season. There's going to be a weird shit that happens. Like, even when you look at the schedule, the one thing we always get excited in the spring because we look at the schedule when and we don't know nothing. Joe Burrow's out now on their schedule. Thought, oh, that's going to be a tough game. Maybe it's not as tough.

Yes.

Do you think, though, like, is there, like, how early is too early for like a players only meeting? I saw the Dolphins did that after week once.

They did it after week one. First of all, they should have did a players only mean this summer.

Yeah.

That's when they should have been doing the like. Because you could tell that that apple was riding time. It hit the ground.

Yeah.

Like, it. It ain't. Like, think about it. Your quarterback tour just admitted I'm half of another man.

He did. He said that.

He was like, hey. Hey. You 6 5? I'm 5 10.

Yeah.

You can take all the throws.

I can't. You know, you can run. I crawl. Like, it was like, did you just bow down to this dude?

Yeah.

Like, then you got Mac McDaniels, gets up there, loses everybody with what he's saying. Then you got Tyreek Hill and then you got this going on. It just feel like that house is just falling apart.

Yeah.

So if you a Miami Dolphins fans, we're gonna pray for you right now not laugh at you. You, we're going to pray for you because it's bad there right now. But it's a couple of more teams out here that feel like we got our locker room in order and we still owe into.

Right.

But that's the business of football right now. Nobody in America thought the Kansas City Chiefs, Andrew Reed and Patrick Mahomes, the dynasty, was going to be 02.

Right.

You know how much money I could have won in Vegas if I would have put that down? Kansas City 02.

Right.

Well, I mean if you're talking about Mike McDaniel, I think he was right about something that he said when he said to win games you have to win the game and not lose the game. And that is how you lose the game.

Well, why is he coaching lose the game?

Well, he's not, he's first. You have to not lose if you want to win.

Well, first of all, you have to make your playbook grow and mature. If you don't want to lose, you can't be running the same plays that you run in three years ago. All right, two, three. Two years ago. Three years ago they had the most explosive offense in football.

Great running game too.

Yeah, great running game. And they went vertical. They not going vertical and they do not run the ball. They're running the same place because they stacking it. That means we've studied them, we know them, we know what motion you're going to do. Are you going to layer on your playbook? Are you going to add to your playbook or you just think you're going to keep running the same thing? That's what they're doing right now. They're running the same tired plays and.

They'Re not working when, when, when a team is struggling like the Dolphins have and this is going to come out on Friday. So I mean maybe the Dolphins shocked the world and they beat the Bills on Thursday. We don't know yet. But if you're, if you're in a team situation that's like that where it feels like your coach is pre fired. Like everybody knows that he's on the hot seat.

I've had that situation.

What happens differently between the players?

You go into survival mode. All right? Everybody in the building goes into survival mode. Regardless of this being truly the most team oriented sports game in the world, we, this is the most team. We're still independent contract practice. And when you know it's a chance that your coach finna take a nose dive, it's every man for himself. It's like jumping overboard. They, like, let the kids and the children go first. I got to go, too. Like, so it's one of the things, like, I can't put no bad film out there because I don't even know who my next coach gonna be.

Right.

I can't. Like, so people go into survival mode, and this actually pushes you down that rabbit hole even more of losing because now you ain't playing as a group no more. Everybody just playing to survive another year.

Yeah. Yeah.

You were and still are a great talker.

Yeah.

Love hearing you talk shit.

Yeah.

I'd say CD Deuce is probably up there for the most prolific current talker in the NFL right now.

CD Lamb. That's one of your favorites.

Well, CD Deuce. Cj. Yeah.

You know what? He's more. He's more vindictive than I was.

Meaner.

Yeah. I was more of a laugher while talking trash. Me and Chad, more of a cheerful, happy, trash talkers. He's more demeaning.

Yeah.

In his trash talk.

And there was a moment in the Monday Night Football game against the Bucks where he said something to Baker and seemed to wake Baker up by talking shit to him.

If I love any quarterback, because Philip river used to be very much like Baker. Baker, Baker, the touchdown maker. If. If you throw turds at him, he'll throw turds back. And I love that about him. He has an edge to him, and he's. He's always been better as Under Underdog Baker.

Yep.

Not Overdog Baker. Underdog Baker is a dude. He. A dude that I take to a back alley with me. He'll do that. I take the Hooters. Let's have some drinks. Baker, like. Cause that's, that's who he is. And yeah, he did push a button with Baker. And when you do that with a quarterback like that, that, that the team kind of the poster, the emotion is from him. That's what happens.

Were there any guys that you would not talk shit to because you knew that they would, they would become, like.

A switch would happen.

Yeah, switch would happen.

Yeah.

I, I, I used to. I used to itch at Jerome Betty sometime. And then he ran me over one play, and he wouldn't let me hit the ground. You know how, like, he's running me over, so I'm just trying to get to the ground as soon as possible, and he's lifting me back up, running me over again and again. And I like, I'm like, why did I even talk to this dude? And then I'm Trying to tackle him, him, and his body's so bad that I can't. It's nothing I can grab on to. I'm trying to grab his back, but his back's everywhere. I'm trying. Like, I didn't. I didn't know what to do. Like, I have never felt so helpless in my life.

Yeah, Fred, I think I know the answer to this, but I just want to hear you talk about it. What's your favorite part about the fall? Is it football or pumpkin spice drinks?

Now, you know I got a vendetta against everything pumpkin.

Yeah, I know you do everything pumpkin.

All right, let me ask you something. I know you didn't. You just said, honey, I'm going to the grocery store. Do you need anything? How many times have your wife say, you know what? Since you're out, bring me back pumpkin.

Pumpkin not.

She's never said that. Because the number one rule we talk as children is don't play with your food.

Yeah.

Don't play with your food. All right, but a pumpkin. They give you a pumpkin, first thing you do is carve a face in it. Not eat it, not make a. Not. Not none of that. You carve a face in it, you set it on the front porch. That's it. November. Come, you do it again.

Yeah.

So for two months, pumpkins get to dominate, but we act like we actually like pumpkin.

I like pumpkin pie. You don't like pumpkin pie.

Ain't no such thing as pumpkin pie.

What does that mean?

There's no such sweet potato pie.

It's great.

Yeah.

All right, so now pumpkin has one dish that is made for. So you tell me you're gonna take all that water, all that land, grow all these pumpkins to make pumpkin. Like, it's so bad. In the animal world, the only person that eats punk, the only animal is a hippopotamus.

That's not true.

What else?

Squirrels. Squirrelsy.

Pumpkin.

I put two pumpkins out of my porch last year within, like, they was cut up.

Right?

Three days. There's a perfect circle hole in each pumpkin. And the squirrels burrowed in. The squirrels got fat as shit.

Hey, pft. Let me tell you, sue, you know, also, the squirrels in California are not carnivores. Right? They're starting to eat each other.

Are you serious?

They're still gonna eat meat.

That's terrifying.

All right, so, yeah, they, like, it's only two things left we can eat. There's pumpkin in each other.

No, it's the worst thing.

Like, I'm gonna tell you what really does it for me at this time of year when I got to see it everywhere.

Yeah.

When I go get my coffee.

Yeah.

I got pumping latte like, well, why you ain't got it the other months? Because we don't want it. All right? I walk anywhere. I got pumpkin fragrance. Why I want to walk around smelling like a pump? Why do I want my house smelling like a pump? Like, I invite my boys over. Come on, man. Y' all smell all that pumpkin in here. Nobody, like. Nobody does that. There's nothing cool about pumpkin. But nobody would say it because people, Americans, are scared to say something, Right?

Yeah.

That we know the truth of. And the truth of, we don't like pumpkins. We don't like to do a lot of stuff that we're just forced to do as human beings, but we don't step up and say it. Like, I had to tell somebody, you know, you don't like that pumpkin. You know you don't like it.

You're just. You're just trying to follow along.

You fall in.

Yeah.

You're being seasonal enough, pumpkin. No, I want it. I want it through.

Yeah.

I don't want it grow on America so anymore. Like, don't waste the water. Don't waste the soil. No. We could be growing some that we actually like to eat.

Yeah. Yeah.

I like sweet potato pie a lot. I do enjoy pumpkin pie, but you're right, I don't. You don't put pumpkin in any other dish.

Any. So basically it makes it useless.

Yeah.

Hippopotamus isn't squirrels. Why are we following them?

That's what I'm telling you. Like crazy. All I'm saying is I talked to a deer the other day. He said he only like pumpkin.

Fred, I got another question for you about defensive backs.

Yeah.

Do you love it when there's like an overthrow by 6 or 7 yards and the quarterback just. Just misses a guy and you get to celebrate in the dude's face?

And we was. We was beat, too.

And you were beat. Yeah.

Put the seat belt on him.

You know what let's call a defensive backs love kiss.

Okay.

That mean we kissed by the football guys. We didn't do everything right. All right? The receivers beat us, but somewhere or another, that quarterback just launched it and he launched it 40 yards too far. And you see us, don't hesitate. We talking trash like it was locked down coverage because we. Because to us, when we fall short on them other ones, we don't get that love.

No. You hear about it.

Yeah. Thank you. Think about this I can shut down Randy Moss for four quarters if he beats me to win the game.

Game.

I am trash.

Yeah.

I'm the worst cornerback to ever play the game. Well, that's that love hate relationship we have. So when we get those DB's kisses and the football guy throwing a kiss at us, I kiss back. You know, say that's what I do. I kiss back and I blow that kiss up. Because you never know which one of those could save your career. At least let you have playing a couple more years.

Yeah.

On my sheet, that goes as a plus.

Yeah.

Not, not as a minus.

And people forget about it after like two plays. You forget entirely that you got beat.

But they'll never forget that you let Steve Smith catch that comeback right on you. And I'm like, come on dude, have you tried to check him?

Right?

I get it. It makes sense. Showing love back to people that showed love to you.

Yeah, yeah. And the football guys will shine on you sometimes.

Yeah.

That's the thing about sports. Any given day could be your day. And that's what you gotta feel, especially in the NFL. Cause every day won't be your day. But if I'm checking Plex today, and I know I gotta check Plex five weeks ago, I mean five weeks from now, I know I need to get out here, I need to start making these plays and I need to start making them early because everyone that he makes on me counts against me.

We'll get back to Fred Smoot in a second. He's brought to you by NFL Sunday ticket only on YouTube TV. This NFL season has officially kicked off. The only place where fans can watch every game every Sunday is NFL Sunday Ticket on YouTube TV. NFL Sunday Ticket provides NFL fans with the ultimate NFL viewing experience with features like multi view where you can watch up to four games at the exact same time, including Red Zone. They've got key plays where you can catch up or replay the biggest moments in each game. And right now, new users can score NFL Sunday Ticket for eight payments, 34.50amonth. Sign up today. YouTube.com part of my take to get started. Tell them the football guys at Part of my take century. That's YouTube.com part of my take. Get started today. Sign up at YouTube.com part of my take and new users pay $276 or eight non cancellable payments. 3,450amonth. First charge of purchase availability varies with NFL Sunday ticket for out of market games and YouTube TV base plan for local and national games. Base Plan required device and content restrictions applied. Terms restrictions and embargoes apply. Excludes digital only games, commercial use excluded.

No refunds. And now here is more. Fred Smoot.

Okay, so, so would you. If you were playing in today's day and age, would you be a seatbelt guy? Would you do the seatbelt celebration?

No, I'd be more about the. The bow and arrow.

Bow and arrow.

The bow and arrow. Not really a seat belt because I don't. I don't want the receiver to feel safe.

Right.

Yeah, that's true.

That's a good point.

You know what I'm saying? So maybe I would have did something like a jail cell where I would have just locked the jail cell up on him or something and put a tray on food in there. Like, I, I would have did something else.

Yeah.

Like, you know what? And I'm trying and they just tell you how my focus is. I'm looking over big cat shoulder, and when we were just talking, all I could see was Mike Dickers monster sausage. And it just threw me off.

Monster sausage.

Yeah, it just threw me off. It just threw me off.

Because if you were trying to plan a celebration, you'd have to also remember what celebration we're going to do in the moment. I feel like you were an emotional guy. You wouldn't always, like, think about something that you had prepared.

No, no. You'll prepare stuff during the week.

Yeah.

And you say, all right, this is for the biggest play.

Okay.

This is for a breakup because of this guy. Maybe it's something that signals to him and only he can pick up on it.

Yeah.

Like. Like Chad Johnson. Chad loved the river dance. That was his thing. Like, he gonna do something. So my thing with him was I would always do something like Flavor Flav with him where I would start dancing. I would take my pants off. Like, fake my pants. I would say, like, so it's, it's about the player who you going against too.

Right.

Like, some guys are quiet, checking the Reggie Wayne for four quarters. He's just gonna keep beating you. He ain't gonna dance. He ain't gonna do nothing. He's just gonna keep laying it on you. And that could. That, that silence could get deafening. Yeah, it could hurt you.

What about if you had a celebration plan? Because this happens a lot. And let's say you got one for a pick, right? You get an interception, here's what I'm gonna do. And then all of a sudden, all your teammates coming over to you right after the interception, and you can't do it. And you can't do this. And you're telling them like, hey, get away.

I've got.

They know it when you make the play and you do this. They. Everybody just stops because they know. He got some plan.

Yeah, let him go.

Yeah.

So. So this is how you tell them. Stop. Give me a second. I'm going to go straight cam buying them on him.

All right.

That's what you can do right now. He's the best in the game.

Yeah.

Safety for the coats. They used to be the safety for the Vikings last year. He has the best celebrations in football. Right?

Did. Yeah.

Against the Broncos. All right. We've had this discussion on the podcast. Is it unfair for you, a Commanders fan, to be thinking soupy this year?

No, no.

We.

We think it's Super Bowl. It's been generations since we could think super bowl. And just to be in that window, to think super bowl is a privilege. Congratulations to the team, by the way. We moving back to the nation's capital.

Very excited about that.

It has been announced we will have the $3 billion play pin put into the nation's capital.

Will it be a dome or outdoor?

It will be enclosed.

Are you. Are you proponent of that? Because it feels like we're on the way to just having every single stadium.

I think now because these are billionaires that like to make money and when football season not going around, they still want to generate money from these stadiums and the only way to do it is to control mother Nature.

Yeah, I know. It's just sad because like the Bears are going to get a new stadium. It's going to be endorsed. It's just. It feels like it is. In 10, 15 years from now, we're gonna look back and be like artificial holy. No one plays outdoors.

Buffalo, they're still gonna play outdoors. Which I appreciate is. Is the one in D.C. i think. Is it gonna have a retractable roof?

And they go to theme. Retractable roofs cost a half a billion to a billion dollars. How many times are you gonna actually open it? Like. Like think about.

I'd open it all the time if I was the owner. Just watch it open.

Think about Atlanta Falcon. How many times have they opened? Yeah, that roof, that little.

That little asshole they have up there.

Yeah.

Talking about a navel.

Yeah, they got a navel up there.

Like, what are you doing?

Yeah, like.

So I just think money wise, it's not worth it now. I think what we gonna have is a glass house where it's gonna look more outdoorsy than it really Is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you get the illusion that you're.

That you're still outdoor.

What I'm really excited about with the new stadium is destroying the old stadium.

Stadium.

Oh, they already taking it down?

Yeah. But are they gonna blow it up?

No, they can't. It's. It's too. It's in the neighborhood. They had to take it down piece by piece.

So they're not going to detonate it.

They're not. They cannot detonate it.

See, I missed that. I missed when. When a team would move on from old stadium and there would be a guy they'd bring because I wanted to be the guy that pressed the button field to. To blow that thing up and. And remove it from the.

Don't worry about it. FedEx field ain't going nowhere. We're gonna turn it into an indoor beach and we're gonna keep that thing right, Rock.

Okay. Yeah, that'll be great.

All right. So you're thinking Soupy, though, even though the packers obviously looks really good, man.

The packers are scary. The Philadelphia Eagles are scary. And because we. We play this, the Eagles two to three times a year, they make me feel comfortable playing the packers of the world. Like I always told. I told people the other day, they were like, how you feel about this loss? I say I'm fine. Cause if I got to play a team multiple times, I rather lose to them the first time. Yeah, like we lost to the packers the first time. I rather lose to them early than late. So I'm fine with that. I already know we. We're being tested by the best, so we're fine. I'm getting the questions I need answered. The question is, how healthy are we gonna be? How healthy are they gonna be and who. Who quarterback gonna be hot at the time? Hopefully our quarterback is hot at the time because we didn't start it off kind of slow right now.

Yeah.

So I'm not scared of, Of, Of. Of Green Bay, though, because we took their best shot and their score was not what it looked.

It was worse.

Worse.

No, no. The score was what, 20? 20 to what?

What?

I thought that we were. We were lucky to be in the game at the end.

I don't believe in luck. Either you're in the game or you're not.

Okay.

Like you. You. You just traveled on a short week where you literally had 48 hours of practice. You travel, you played this team at their home, and you left out of there and you lost by what, 10? Oh, yeah. I could take that.

Well, I mean, if you're going. I hate that you turn me into the guy that's like pushing back against the commanders.

But I said no, no, go speak your.

The, the key points you made. How do you play against those good teams? I don't think we played very well against. I, I thought that the packers were very clearly a much better team than we were. Yeah, I don't think it was close. And then two health wise, how did we get out of that game? Well, we lost Eckler, we lost Wise.

They lost Jalen Reed, they lost guys.

And our quarterback might be out this year like or for the next week. Yeah, I don't think that we had a good showing at all in Green Bay.

Hey, we went up there and it was built to ass, all right.

Yeah.

But you know as a child, when your daddy kids are coming out of that bathroom, catch you just right because you did something wrong. You know, you could put that hand right there to stop. Stop that butt whooping a little bit.

Yeah.

So we took a lid off of it. Yes. They thrashed us. They took advantage of the situation. They should have done it. It wasn't Jordan Love's best game. It wasn't their office of best game. They got one of the coldest defenses in the league right now. Now I want to see it travel though. I want to see that defense travel and play on the road. You can. It's easily when you invite me to your house and you beat me up. That's fine. What's going to happen later then? That's. That's the question. And they not going to be at their healthiest too. Like we all going to lose somebody.

Yep.

What about the Rams? Are the Rams in that cavo?

I like the Rams and they always gonna be. As long as they got Matthew Stafford, they're going to be in that window. All right, then you don't add a Devonte Adams to that. With that defense and Williams in their running game, they got a chance. That's what I'm saying. Everybody looks at the Rams as this subtle threat, not this immense threat. Like all of a sudden the packers are the immense threat. But guess what? People not even saying the super bowl champions are the missed threat. They are. Philadelphia Eagles are the apex predator threat.

Yeah.

I think it's because the Rams don't really blow people out.

No, they don't.

No.

No, they don't.

You never see that from the Rams. It's always like relatively close.

They don't push that issue once they get a clear pass to victory. Yeah, they take their Foot off the break and they chill.

Yeah. Yeah.

All right, so any teams that have like super impressed you through two weeks, I know it's still early, but are there any teams you're like, oh, wow.

Look, I told you, I took that shrapnel for them. Coach fans.

Yeah.

But calling Daniel Jones the most regular name in America, which it is. So now he officially goes by Indiana Jones. I'm telling you, this Indiana Jones in that offense hasn't punted the ball yet. Jonathan Taylor is running like it's two, three years ago. Those wide receivers, tight end group, they're proven to not really have a clear cut weakness right now. All right, So I could say the Coats have really jumped off the screen. Like, even if they had lost the game, I'd still be like, that's a good football team. That's a legit good football team. So the Coats are that. And I just can't stop, stop marveling about how good the Ravens make me feel. Even though they didn't lost the game. Yep, it's something. It feels like it's Lamar's time. Nobody can stop Derrick Henry. No, that defense is turning the corner like it's. It's layer cake on layer cake when it comes to them.

Let me ask you a question about that because I, I'm a big believer. Like, obviously The Ravens, week one, giving up 41 points, they were supposed to win a game. Yeah, they were. But from a defensive perspective, playing in the league, like, I do think that one or two times, even the good defenses, one or two times a year, there will be one of those games that just gets out of control where it's like, that's not what they are. But that's what that game was. Is that fair?

That's so fair. Big Cat and I intended it to be a fart. It became a shard. You know what I'm saying? Like, it was innocent at first.

Yeah.

Until it wasn't.

It's just game flow. It's just everything goes.

Because that's the one thing about defense is not guaranteed.

Yeah.

Just because you was good against them, that don't make you good against them. And it's one of them things where it has an ET flow to it and it happens when it happens. And that's why people start to play better defense as the year go on compared to earlier in the year. So I do think that that Ravens defense, especially with Hamilton, Higgins, all those guys, they get Deser Alexander back. Like, yeah, they are to me, the team to be in the AFC right Now, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. So who outside the afc? Bill's obviously a threat. Are the Chiefs dead?

No, never. If you got Andy, you got Patrick Mahone. Actually, to me, yeah, they are bigger threat, okay? Because they are the threat that everybody said. You know what? They writing them off.

They're a hurt animal.

They're hurt. They're hurting deer, all right? They're hurting deer in the road. We ain't gonna let them make it where I'm from. Put him in the trunk. We gonna make sure we're gonna get some business. That's what it is.

Now what? The Giants beat him, though. If they lose the Giants, Sunday night.

I'm still not worried. I'm just telling you, as a guy that played a decade in a division with Andy Reid, never worried about Andrew Reed. Just like I'm telling you, we just getting wore out by this dynasty. Like, this dynasty has been going so long. It's time for them to push the reset button on the dynasty. Like, they got a lot of old pieces that they used to winning with that they need to upgrade into new talent, new, faster talent, new, different talent. Like, they just. All they need to do. They need to do what New England did. Like, New England got to a point where we were winning with running game and defense, but now this. Tom's dynasty, right? So now we need to be more offensively explosive and less defensive. And that's what I think Kansas City gonna have to do. They're gonna have to rewrite their DNA.

Yeah. What about the.

What about the Broncos? I know going in the season, everybody was talking about the Broncos defense and how that's a defense that can carry you to a chance championship.

That's what they did. They was the Darlings.

They were. They were the Darlings. And then, you know, last week against the Colts, they didn't look good on defense at all. They turned the ball over a little bit, too, but they didn't look good on defense. Should we be concerned about the Broncos defense, which should have been the strength of their team, the Broncos?

Right. Now, a good analogy for this is a beauty queen, okay, With a dead tooth in her mouth.

Oh, all right.

Who's the dead tooth?

The Broncos are the dead, too. The Bronco are this beautiful. This beautiful girl, but you haven't talked to her yet.

All right?

You walk up to her, you sit down, you see she's looking at you. Then you start to talk to her, and you'd be like, yeah, I see why now. That dead tooth in your mouth.

Yeah.

Had just killed everything. I Felt before I got here.

Yep.

Because the real, the real part. I got to see you from within. All right. They got growing to do just like us. Like people want to crown us. Crown the Commanders, crown the Broncos. Two rookie quarterbacks outplayed they status. Not a team is better. They got two great coaches. And now we start and slow. And now people want to shy away from us. That ain't the way it go. Get a team some chance to mature. If your quarterback is only 20 games old, you still got some maturing to do.

All right, Fred, I got one last question for you. Always great having you on. Great.

I.

Are you enjoying working with man?

I enjoy working with.

I love having you.

This is my type of place.

Yeah.

I like loose.

I like fun.

I like intelligent. I like real people.

Yeah, it's so fun having you here.

Real people place.

All right, so my last question. Roback question. Rhobac.com promo code take 20 off your first purchase. Q, zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com promo code take. Fred, what's your middle name?

Not gonna tell you that. Catfish. I told you.

He told me before we started taping that he hated his middle name so much he changed it to Dwayne, which is an awesome middle name.

I had always known you as Fred Dwayne Smooth.

That ain't my name. Yeah, Lee, Think about me as an idiot, Lee. No, think about me. Think about me as an idiot. I remember Wikipedia gave me a call my senior year at Mississippi State. They was like, what information do you want on your Wikipedia?

Wait, Wikipedia called you?

Yeah, this is the start of Wikipedia, you remember? This is like 2001. It's the start.

Okay.

And they like. I was like, okay. And I was like, well, I'm not gonna put my real middle name down there. I was like, well, what should I give myself? And I was like, dwayne.

Good choice.

Yeah, so Dwayne, that started it off and then everybody thought they was my middle name. Well, I say I did my job then, cuz I want to make sure my identity could never get stolen.

Okay. Okay.

So the best way to do that is to flood with with not true information.

That's very smart.

So and so nobody ever second guessed it.

Let me see your driver's license. I won't tell anybody.

I'm not going to list. You know.

What is it? James?

Come here, cuz. Cuz you. Cuz you are.

I'm in the trust.

What's the first letter? D of, of your. Of your God's Given name.

Yes. Of my God. Given middle name.

Danielle. I'm never gonna say Danielle now.

You can never repeat this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because you probably ain't gonna be able to repeat it.

Is it bad?

Yeah.

PFD is bad. To your grade.

I get it. I get it.

To your grade.

I'll never say it.

I'll never.

I'll never say it. I'll never say it. But, yeah. So I think you were correct to tell Wikipedia.

Yeah. Yeah.

Dwayne and I found it funny.

Yeah. Yeah.

I found it real funny. Dwayne Smoot.

Yeah.

Do you.

Do you like working with Gruden?

I love it. I love. Like, I've been around Groove so much. Plus, I've been with his brother Jay.

Yeah.

Back in Washington. Talked to his nephew Jack all the time. So I basically been a part of the Gruden family for a while. So me and coach already had a relationship, so it was easy with me and him. That's why it's seamless with me and him working together.

Yeah, it was great. Last week on Thursday, I walked down to the kitchen area and it was just you and coach just talking ball.

Yeah.

And I just stood there and I just watched. I was. How lucky am I right now to be listening to these guys just arguing about football?

Just back and forth.

It was awesome.

Just back. And guess what? That's all the grooms. Jay is the same way. Jason. Jack is the same way. Like Jack would call me a 2 and 8. 2am in the morning. What are you doing, Fred? I'm sleep. What do you think I'm doing? I gotta ask you about this cornerback coming out of Texas. Like, that's who they are. It's football or nothing.

I love that.

That's great.

Well, Fred, you're the best. Love having you on. We'll do it again in a couple weeks. And thanks so much. And hopefully Jayden Daniels gets healthy.

Hey, man, let's make it happen.

Yep.

Pft.

Yep.

To the grave.

To the grave. I'm not. I'm not saying anybody. Fred Smoot was brought to you by Chevy. Football season's here, and whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, there's one ride that's always game ready. That is the Chevy Silverado. The Chevy Silverado is a longtime partner of part of my take and our favorite truck. And it's all about grit. From job site to tailgate, Silverado lets you show up strong and tackle any task. Built for the hustle. Ready for the game. Silverado is America's most dependable full size truck truck. For J.D. power 2025 award information, visit J.D. power.com awards head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Silverado. Today fire fest is going to be brought to you by Morgan and Morgan. We all know that life comes at you fast. One minute everything's going great and the next minute you're trying to figure out your way out of a disaster, trying to get out of a jam you might be playing for the Lakers, and the next you're moving your family to Dallas or vice versa. When you find yourself in the middle of your very own fire fest, you just might need America's largest injury law firm in your corner.

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Fire fest of the week. Wrap it up. Henry, our guy.

Hank. Hank. Hank, Hank.

You got this, Hank.

Hank. Hank.

I don't know what you got, but you got this, Hank.

Hey, Hank.

I noticed memes didn't chant. Hank was coughing.

He was coughing.

Yeah, Fire fest.

It's kind of a weird one because it's kind of like a fire luck fest, but kind of a fire fest.

Fire luck fest.

I like. My car usually like automatically locks when I get out of it if I have my key in my pocket.

We.

Fire luck fest or lock fest?

Both.

Luck lock.

Kind of not really.

Luck lock.

Lock of the Irish.

Lock lock.

So, Luckwood.

Yeah, I leave, I leave work the other day. I get in my car, I notice like, what time? I don't know, five, five o', clock, 5:30, half day.

Yeah, I guess.

And I noticed that everything out of my glove compartment's been ripped out. And I have, I have my golf clubs. I have a bunch of stuff in my car in the back of my car.

Car.

It clearly had someone who'd gone through my car. Like, the door was not locked, it was unlocked. Someone had went through it and they pulled everything out of my glove box. But like, they didn't seem to take anything. And then I realized yesterday that they took, they just took my gym bag.

What the.

What'd you have in there?

Just gym clothes.

Oh, so just like your sweaty underwear?

Yeah, it was just sweaty, like a few shirts. But I had like my golf clubs, golf bags, shoes, a bunch of stuff in there.

Security tapes.

I Did not. Because I didn't. I didn't. I didn't realize that it was gone for, like, four days after the fact. Like, I was just like, oh, someone's.

Trying to get you so you don't work out.

I guess. Yeah, it was. It was. But I. I feel lucky that that's all they took.

This is unfair, because if Max or I had this story, people would be like, oh, someone stole your gym stuff.

Keep continuing. So it's a word. The world's dumbest thief, I guess.

Yeah.

I don't know if they were. I don't know if they were just trying. Like, they maybe were just trying to do it quick. So it was like, in the middle of the day, and they just tried to hope that there was, like, a bunch of cash in there. I'm not really sure.

There's no shoes.

Didn't have any cash.

I had some. I had gym shoes, but, you know, I've had them for a little while. You know, I lost probably two pairs of shorts, a few pairs of boxers, like four shirts.

What you get for working out for having such a great bod.

But, yeah, I feel lucky. But it's a little bit. It's a little bit eerie being like, oh, this. That's kind of weird that, like.

Yeah, it could have been any of us after they.

Also. In my glove box, there was a pair of sunglasses, which, again, they didn't take that I thought I had lost, like, a year ago.

That's weird.

Oh, so you.

You.

I kind of found.

Yeah, I gained sunglasses.

Kind of a good trade.

Yeah.

You can always get more shorts. We get free shorts all the time.

Yeah.

So, yeah, just a little. Little bizarre.

You got to go through that footage.

Yeah.

I don't know if it goes back that far.

I'm sure we.

Last week.

Yeah, we can get it. We can get it. We'll get this perp. What if it was just. What if it was Max trying to get more in shape.

Yeah.

Or like Spider.

Yeah.

It's the perfect crime. Who stole my gym accessories? It was Max.

Now I would steal.

All right. Pft.

Mine's also car related. You might recall a couple years ago, got a new car. Hank put up a pole in the parking lot and didn't mark it fairly, and I accidentally drove my car into it.

Couldn't have seen it coming.

Didn't see it Was not. Someone had tried to take off some of the yellow reflective paint that was initially put on there.

Right.

Mystery person is unnamed, but I was taken out to the car wash last Weekend. And as I went through the car wash, getting it cleaned off, because it was just in that lot, in the tow impound lot where I recovered it from last week, it was covered in dust and had stickers all over it. So I had to pull it into the car wash, get it cleaned off. Then I said, you know what? Let's take care of the inside. Let's vacuum out the interior a little bit. So as I pulled in this parking spot and started a vacuum, A guy pulled up in the spot next to me, and he got out of his car, and he's like, hey, man, that's a beautiful car you have. And I was like, why does this guy think my. My car is not beautiful? It's just like a pretty normal car, right? I'm not talking about the el camino. If it's el camino, be like, right on, brother.

Yeah, yeah.

But this guy was like, yeah, you have a. A beautiful car. I love that car. And I was like, thank you. He's like, I. I work with those cars all the time. I can. I resell them all the time. They're my favorite car in the entire world. I was thinking, this guy's leaning on pretty thick about a pretty normal car. What's his angle on me? And so I told him, hey, I'm not going to sell it. He's like, no, I'm not asking about selling it. It's a perfect car, except it's got that dent in the side of it. And I was like, yeah, it does have that debt, Hank. Yeah. My co worker essentially assaulted my car.

Your boss?

My.

My boss. All of our bosses assaulted my car. And he was like, I can get that out for you because I work in a body shop. I was like, I'm not taking into a body shop. And he's like, no, I can do it right now Because I've got all the tools with me. My boss, he knows that I take the tools home sometimes, But I can do that. They'll charge you $3,000 at the body shop up. I can do it right now for 200. And I was like, what a deal. What a deal. What a great deal.

And.

But he was being, like, super forceful. He was, like, trying to push me into closing the deal right there. And I was like, give me your card, and I'll give you a call. And if I. I want to get it repaired, they'll drive it and to you, and you can, like, pop it out. It's whatever. He's like, do me a favor. Go sit in your Car right now. Go sit in your car, because I've got the stuff right here, and I can pull it out as we sit here. The only thing is, your car might go backwards because I'm gonna pull it really hard when I pull that thin out. So I need you to put your foot on the brake as I pop this thing out. And then I thought to myself, you know what? Realistically, I'm not going to take my car into a body shop. It's been two years. I haven't gotten it fixed yet. I'm just not going to get it fixed. But this guy, this angel, appeared before my very eyes and said he would fix it for the low price of 200 bucks. And he's like, also, I see those scratches on the side.

Was that from your boss in that same pole? I was like, yes, it is. He's like, I got this epoxy that I can rub on it, and it'll fill in those scratches, so I'll take it. The scratches, too.

All right.

So I get my car, I put my foot on the brake, hear popping sound, and then I come out, and it's got all the foam on it from all the epoxy. He's like, you're gonna be good. Just when you get home, wait a couple hours, and then wipe it down and get. Get all that stuff. All the foam that I put on the side off, and the scratches will be filled in. Gotta let it set for a little bit. I was like, okay, cool. He's like, it's 200 bucks. I gave him more. I gave him 250 bucks because I was like, what a great guy. This. This dude is. Just like, saved me days of my life where I'd have to drive my car in, pick my car up, that whole thing. And then I got home later on, it was dark outside. Went out, wiped it down. And then I was thinking to myself on the couch, that's. That was a really weird interaction. Yeah, that was really, really strange because he had his girlfriend with him, and he kept yelling stuff at his girlfriend. And the guy did. It was. The red flags were up.

So I just looked up online car dent repair scam. And then it's like nine pages.

Oh, no.

Of step by step, exactly what this guy did to me. And I like to consider myself to be pretty good at not getting scammed. I like to think that my antenna's up and it's tough to fool me. This guy just absolutely took me to the cleaners. I went back out to my car. The dent's still there. Oh, the scratches are all still there. Nothing's better whatsoever. And it's not. It's the 250 bucks. Whatever. It's not the end of the world deal. It was a great deal at the time. I couldn't say no. It's more about me having to reckon with the fact that I got got.

Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't know if you can say you're good at avoiding scams anymore.

I used to not be.

Yeah.

Because as you were telling that story, I was just like, this is. This doesn't feel right.

No, it didn't feel right at all. And I'm such a, I'm an idiot for him being like, go sit in your car and put your foot on the brake. Like my car, it was in park, right. Like it was going to roll away because this guy was so strong that just like break my parking gear. So yeah, I got got lot. My car's still dented, it's still scratched and I'm never going to fix it. And I'm out to until I run in the next guy who offers me that same.

But that guy will be for real.

That guy's that guy. What I learned, the guy that I ran into on Saturday, that guy was not the official wallet inspector.

Yeah.

So dent repair scams often involve unsolicited individuals in parking lots offering quick, cheap dent fixes that end up causing more damage, leaving victims with costly repairs. Key red flags include aggressive sales tax, check. A focus on cash only payments, check.

Well, no, I did. I did Venmo.

Oh.

Promises of same day repairs, check. And inability to provide a written contract or online presence, check. And claims that you should not remove a wax like substance they apply to the vehicle, check.

Yeah, that's how he got me. He's like, you gotta, you gotta wait to take this thing off because otherwise the scratches won't be filled in.

So was there a moment when you were taking it off where you're like, oh, is this is fixed?

And then you're like, yeah, no. Even after I, I wiped it down the next day, I was like, maybe he actually really did fix my car. Maybe this guy wasn't a scammer. Because at night I waited a few hours and then it was Saturday night. Then I wiped it down, but I couldn't see if it was gone yet.

Yeah.

So then I had to recheck the work and yeah, I was thinking maybe, maybe this guy is actually the one legitimate version of this.

Damn.

So yeah, I got got. That's fine. It Happens.

That's brutal.

I still have never replied to one of those texts that say, like, you owe money for a toll.

True. Our boss.

So at least there's that.

Yeah, our boss did all right. My fire fest. We already talked about my golf game. I got to get better. Gotta. Just a terrible experience being that bad amongst people who are good. Apologies for having a bad attitude, but I don't know how you could have a good attitude when you suck that bad and you're letting your team. Sucked. Couldn't help at all being a teammate and not being able to help at all. Really bad feeling.

But imagine how bad it would be if you, like, played golf a lot and you expected more out of yourself. Like, what. What did you expect was going to happen?

Not hitting the ball five feet multiple times. My other firefight is actually Zach's fire fest.

Car related.

Okay.

We got insurance for the new Vanny Woodhead, and Zach got denied the insurance, so he will not be driving Vanny.

Woodhead, you got denied. Turns out denied coverage.

Go ahead. You don't.

Why did they.

Did they say why I was denied?

I think it was the time on this podcast and the act that you've said you've been in four different accidents.

That makes sense.

Yeah.

Probably You've been in or caused.

I just a few of those. We were just. I was in the car.

Yeah, one of them. You were in the car, huh?

Well, you were in the car for all.

Yeah, actually, yes, I was in the car for all the. Not behind the wheel for all of them. That does make a lot more sense.

Yeah.

That's not good.

No, that's all right. It's probably better that you don't drive it because you've been in four accidents.

Zach, I got a question.

Yes, sir?

You're driving to Bloomington tomorrow, right? Yes, sir. Are you driving?

I think we might split it up just because it's several hours.

Yeah, but. Mm. I did.

Look, I did some research into the average amount of accidents that adults have, and it says like. Like three to four accidents.

Yeah, but that's what age. You're 27. You've been in four. Four.

Yeah, I think that's like a lifetime thing, but.

Oh, so I could. So I'm gonna have the age ranges wrong?

Yes, you might be done.

You can't.

You're done. You're not gonna have any more accidents. Quite.

It has been quite a while.

That was a great.

Oh, wait, so when was the last one?

Several years ago.

How many. How old were you?

I was like five between Four to seven years ago.

Like a while ago. So that's. So you got into four accidents in the first, like six years of you driving?

I had a bad start, yeah.

Okay.

Have you. Have you been driving a lot since.

I. Yeah, I've had a car. I stopped driving when I moved here, didn't bring a car with me, but before then I was driving all the time. It's like one of my favorite ways to spend like a Sunday. You just hop in the car, go for a cruise.

The average is one accident every 18 years of driving.

Okay, so.

So that math, that's no good for you.

That's no good. That's no good. So you basically need to go accident list for the next like 50 years to get back to the average.

I think I got that in me.

Are you a distracted driver?

Not a distracted driver. One of the accidents. I was distracted.

That.

That was so long ago. Like, you live and learn, I think. I think accidents are like a health. You develop a healthy respect for the road when you get into an accident. Like, there's a lot of people out there who don't get into crashes. They're texting, driving all the time, doing their makeup, all sorts of things, taking other people's life, like putting other people's lives at risk. You get an accident out the way early, preferably not on like a highway somewhere, like a 35, 45 mile, mile an hour speed limit. You have a healthy respect for the road.

Yeah.

And if you have four of those, then you really respect the road.

Also.

Too many accidents.

Also, Zach has been in accidents where I. I think. Am I right? Four times. One of them you weren't driving, but all four times or no three out of four, you got hit.

My side got hit, yeah.

Every single time he's been hit.

Yeah.

The only time my side didn't get hit was when the accident was my.

My fault. Yeah, but every other time he just. Wherever Zach sits in the car, he gets hit.

Is everybody okay?

Light injuries? No. No ambulance, so.

No.

Well, not in our car. There was a. There was this one time a woman did run a stop sign. She had to go to the hospital.

Yeah, but it was her fault.

It was her fault. Yes, but she had like an older vehicle, like the front end squished up real pretty good.

He got hit, but he. We don't know. We don't actually know what it up happening with her.

They wouldn't tell me.

No, they said that was like none of my. Pretty much none of my business.

Yeah, but that. That was not Your fault, to be clear.

No, that. That actually was not my fault at all.

I still felt horrible that she was.

Hurt enough to have to go to the hospital, though.

Yeah.

All right, well.

Yeah.

Good luck, Zach.

Thank you.

Pfd.

I'm gonna try to continue the no accident streak.

Sorry.

Let you down on the insurance, Big cat.

No, I don't give a. Okay, it's fine.

Okay.

We could try to get. Well, we might just have to try to get, like, a really hilarious, cheap insurance company.

Yeah, was.

It's no big deal.

Your guy probably knows the guy.

Yeah, no, he doesn't.

I did have.

That guy doesn't know anyone. That guy's a. Everyone he meets, he just scams.

What did you say?

I did have active car insurance until I moved here. Yeah, I guess. Maybe not van sized. Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah.

Jacob got Jay, I think.

Jacob.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jacob's. Jacob's good. Jacob's clear.

All right.

What's your fire fest?

My fire fest this week is over the last couple of days, I've kind of developed my wisdom. One of my wisdom teeth may be impacted. I know I'm a little bit late in life for that. And the first couple days, I thought it was something I could shake off. This is a debilitating situation.

Like, you're gonna have to get him out.

I think so. I think so.

And you're also gonna have to podcast right after you get him out for us.

Zach, after dentist.

Yeah.

Oh, on the.

I'll pick you up.

Okay.

And then we'll have you sit right there right after, while you're still a little up. That's terrifying.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's actually been seven accidents.

He starts telling us exactly. Good. It might just fix itself because in, like, 2016, right after I moved to New York, my wisdom teeth were all up. And I told the guys, like, hey, I have to figure out a time where I can get. Get my wisdom teeth out and we can still do the pod. So I waited, like, a weekend, and then it just got better. And next time I went to the dentist, they were like, yeah, you need to get all four of yours out. Still haven't done it yet.

Neither have I.

Knock on wood.

It's not fun.

No, I'm full pop right now. I have them all still in. This side was good. Never had any issues. This one, I thought I would just.

Like, shake it off.

Like, I don't have to actually go to the dentist. Like, what are we doing?

Yeah.

And then now it's, like, turning my head the wrong Way it. Not good. Every time I hit the steps. Going on the steps is a nightmare.

For some reason you can't go on stuff. I can.

It just. It just irritates it. I don't know if it's the pressure.

Or what, but what do people do before they. You were able to just get your teeth pulled out?

I think they pulled them.

Yeah.

Even if they were like under the skin. George Washington's like, slice into them.

You got all new teeth.

You guys should go together also.

Zach, can I give via spin zone?

Yes, sir.

This is going to be huge for the weight loss.

It has been. I can't eat or I'm going to eat or drink.

Right. And when you get them out, you're. You like can't eat. Eat solids for like four or five days.

You know what you can eat?

That could be good for the scale.

Actually, I don't know if you can eat.

I think you can.

Yeah, but it's.

You can.

Oh, you can. Oh, you're gonna eat so much ice cream.

It's gonna be awesome.

You just gotta do sugar free.

Zach, let me know when you're gonna get yours out. We might. We might do a date.

You know, two man.

The dentist.

I gotta get mine out at some point.

Two guys ate wisdom teeth.

Yeah, let's do it.

We could sell them memes. Do you have a fire fest? I had a conversation with memes off air. It's regarding the upcoming NFL weekend. So I feel like we do have to cover it.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, we have to cover.

No, we were talking about the Jets. A couple guys talking.

This is all.

This is off Mike stuff.

And meme said if we lose to the Bucks.

No, if the Bucks.

No, I'm gonna. I'm gonna tell it from the beginning. Okay, so we can't lose to the Bucks and we're like memes. You're. You're an underdog this weekend. The jets, it would be great if they won. They have a good chance at winning. But like you shouldn't say if we lose. This is. This is nightmare. He's. He wants Aaron Glenn fired.

What? Already?

Wait, so when we referenced that earlier when you're like some of the fan base and media. Yeah, it's you.

He's talking about him.

No, you are. You're fan and media.

I was saying if. If the. If the defense gets embarrassed by an all backup offensive line.

You said he'd probably be fine. You said if they. If they score four touchdowns. If the Bucks score four touchdowns.

Yeah.

Another report came out that the left guard is also. Didn't practice say.

Okay.

They might just not have an offensive line. So as a defensive coach, you should be able to scheme something up that works in your favor.

In theory.

I agree in theory.

But to want theory to want him fired. If you guys lose, like 28 to 20, and you want Aaron Glenn fired.

In week three of a rebuild as seven point dogs.

As ten point dogs if they get embarrassed.

What's the. What's the numbers? Three that you. What you can't lose by 22.

33.

Yeah, I'd say all those.

28.

No, three actually would be fine.

I would say 28 to three.

Okay.

Three. Three would be fine.

That'd be funny. If you guys fell behind 28 to three and then you never scored, you're like, we got him.

Yeah.

It's a must compete game.

You want them fired?

Must compete.

Must compete.

Must compete. I want to see a competitive football team against a team that has 2% of their offense.

Yeah.

Must compete. Must compete.

All right.

3, 33.

22.

It.

28.

We'll go two for to rod.

I think I found that. I think I found the new hack. If you're talking two memes when you say it, he's not gonna be able to.

If he's thinking about the Jets.

Yeah.

If he's. It's like a dog with a treat.

If you jets talk at the end of every show.

Yeah.

You can't get distracted by anything. 99 PO 1976 memes.

What's your number? 2T6.

67.

67.

I know what that means. Love you guys.

Sam. Sa.

Sa.