Transcript of Andrew Santino In Studio, Week 2 Picks And Preview, Packers Dominate The Commanders + Fyre Fest Of The Week

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good, good friend Andrew Santino in studio. He's got a new special out. He's one of our favorite comedians. He came and hung out with us for like an hour. We talked about everything with him. Check out his new Special. We have NFL Week 2 picks in Preview for every single game. We got fire fest. We have Thursday Night Football and we're brought to you by DraftKings. The weight is over two pound for pound kings. One epic showdown. Canelo versus Crawford going toe to toe at last. And DraftKings sportsbook is in your corner. From the opening bell to the final blow, from the opening bell to the Judges Final Call, DraftKings has you covered with odds on knockouts, total rounds, method of victory, and more. Never bet a fight before easy. Open the app. Look for something simple like who will win and make your pick. Let me pull it up right now on the DraftKings sportsbook. By the way, I think some of our guys are going to be there.

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Co Audio okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings. DraftKings Sportsbook is the home for fight fans and football Sundays. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app. Use code TAKE. That's code TAKE to get $200 in bonus bets when you bet just $5 in partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours. Today is Friday, September 12th, and the.

Green Bay packers are a problem generational team.

I listen credit to us.

Yep.

We said if they don't win the super bowl, it would be the greatest upset in the history of sports. And they are so good. They're guaranteed to win this super bowl and probably next year's Super Bowl. And if we're wrong, we'll be the first to put our hands up and say we were wrong. I do have one thing and pft. I want to hear all your thoughts on the game. I do have one thing I should probably say I was wrong about in the moment. I did do Barstool sports advisors before this game tonight and I said that Jaden Daniels is the better quarterback than Jordan Love. It was not true tonight. I still would take Jaden Daniels overall though tonight made me nervous because Jordan Love looked pretty dialed in.

If you go by the packers history, this is the year that Jordan Love will win a Super bowl and he'll be an insanely talented quarterback and then that'll be the one that he wins. And that's just what they do. They just crank out they got a never ending supply of 27 year olds and then they'll.

And then he'll have like a really messy divorce with them where the new one comes and then he wins the Super Bowl.

Yes, that will probably happen. The packers are a great team. The packers are the best team I've seen all season, like all around generation. I think I'll stick with what I said. Generation, generational.

Once in a lifetime team.

Once in several lifetime things. Yes, we you should consider yourself to be lucky to be on the planet earth at the same time as this Green Bay packers team. And then, oh yeah, they also added Michael Parsons to that team. Now it's like once every millennium. It's a one in a thousand year team. I would like to announce something.

Okay.

Congratulations to Max on winning the NFC east again.

Oh no.

Congrats Max.

Let him do this to you, Max.

Because I learned a few things tonight.

Max, let's talk about Jaden.

I learned a few things.

Oh, I learned Max.

Max, we can talk about Jaden. Learned a few things. Tonight, this is why I wasn't thinking Soupy. You guys were telling me I, I was crazy for not thinking Soupy. I was like, well, if we beat the packers, then I will be thinking Soupy. We're just not a very good team. We might be an average team, we might be slightly above average, but if we play against good teams, that's what we're going to look like. The final score, even though it was just, it was a nine point win, they covered the spread and then some. It wasn't that close. It felt like a, like a 3, 4 score win for the packers pretty much all night. It was never, never in jeopardy at all. The closest I got to thinking maybe we could do it when Debo had that nice kickoff return to start the second half. By the way, Debo looks awesome.

He did.

He looked awesome tonight. He's been the best player that we've had offensively throughout the, the first two weeks. We're, we're just not a team that's going to be able to beat very, very good teams as it currently is right now. Jaden was running for his life tonight. The packers defensive front was getting pressure on him and then he didn't really have anything downfield. It was, he was only taking shots to, to Ertz Debo underneath Eckler a little bit, who looked like he tore his Achilles at the end of the game, which absolutely sucks.

Dr. Dan told me that that was what it was.

Yeah. Well, my friend who just tore his Achilles texted me. He's like, yeah, that's an Achilles. I could spot more.

Do you need.

Yeah, Jaden didn't look great tonight. He didn't look comfortable running. His scrambling ability wasn't there. He got banged up. He needs, he needs to chill out some. He needs to chill out with getting hit because it's not going to last if he keeps doing this because I. And every time someone touches him, I'm like, oh my God, please be okay. Yeah, I'll be the first to say it. Commanders might be. I think we're like an above average team right now. I think we're like a 10 win team. But that's like our, we're not going to beat the good teams, the very good teams. It was just, it was ugly. And I'm not, I'm not like second guessing or anything. If you want to talk about Jaden Daniels, I will trade you anybody for I. Jaden is mine. I will refuse any trade for Jaden is what I'm saying. Okay. I'm not wavering on that. But he did look. This was the worst that I've seen him play fully healthy.

Okay.

Throughout the.

That's fair.

Throughout the first year and two games.

Can I say credit to Jaden Daniels was not smiling tonight. Not smiling like that was the first time that I didn't see him smile. And he matched the mood.

Yeah.

Because it was kind of a shit kicking. I would say Jaden Daniels can be fine. I would be nervous a little bit about the defense because it felt like Bobby Wagner might be getting to the end of it because Tucker Kraft was just eating you guys alive in the middle of the field.

Gonna wait for the all 22 on that one.

Okay.

There was one play where they found the seams. Did look wide open.

Wide open. Tucker Craft was an absolute monster tonight.

The seams were so exposed, it looked like Max bending over in front of a camera. But I don't know after that first one where it looked like Bobby Wagner missed the. Missed the, like, handoff and he thought the safety was going to cover. I don't know who was supposed to be going. The tight ends. If it was a safety that was an issue all night or if it was Bobby Wagner, who's not the fastest guy anymore. And we are.

He's like 36.

It was the youngest team in the NFL against the oldest team in the NFL tonight. And it looked that way.

Short rest.

Yeah, it looked that way. So credit to the Packers. Packers are a great football team. Generational.

Yeah, Jordan Love looked pretty dialed in. Matt Lafleur called a great game. The shot plays the packers do. I know they didn't all connect, but I just. It's watching a team take those shots, you don't see it. Every team doesn't do stuff like that where it's like, hey, every like six, seven plays, we're going to try to take a shot, we're going to try to extend the field. And Jordan Love does this thing where he kind of floats in the pocket, like goes off his back foot and delivers a strike. Yeah, they're a really good team and they've. They've held. We don't know what the lines are going to be right now, but so. So it's still early in the NFL season, but through two weeks, the packers have held the Lions and Commanders, two of the best offenses last year, to essentially 18 points total. Actually, no, sorry, 16 points total because it was a garbage time touchdown for the Lions. Garbage time touchdown for the commanders. 16 points in real. In the real football and game flow. So their defense looks really Good.

I don't know that you could call that 100 garbage time. Because if the commanders, if there were there was still a possibility that they win that game, they'd have to put together, like, a Josh Allen, like, performance in the fourth quarter.

I do judge. And a Derek Henry, like, fumble. Yeah, I judge. I judged. I. I wouldn't judge the defense. Like, the defense is definitely different when you're up 17 with four minutes left.

Yes.

So if you don't want to call it garbage time, it's not in the. In. In. In quarters that have been like, the first three quarters or games that are close to. Packers have absolutely suffocated their offensive opponent.

It was like compost time. Technically, yes, it's rotten, but it could also give you life.

What was with the commander's urgency?

Yeah. So that's the other thing.

Bizarre.

That's the other thing. Dan Quinn, it was his birthday tonight, so let's get out in front of that one. His mind might have been somewhere else. He had three timeouts that he was saying, like, maybe he was happy. Maybe he was just thinking about what he's going to do for presence.

Dan Quinn not strike me as a birthday guy.

No, he's not. He's not. But, yeah, his. His first half clock management. The three timeouts in the half with no urgency. Very puzzling at the. In the fourth quarter, calling a timeout, like, right out of the fourth quarter change, like, right when they switched from third to fourth. He called timeout after the first play, and they called timeout with, like, five minutes. I don't know what. What the. Dan Quinn was doing there. Sometimes you get. He just gets, like, all worked up.

Yeah.

He doesn't know what to do with his timeouts. That was very bad. There were actually a lot of bad things. But the. The run defense, I thought was good tonight for the commanders, which is good because last year, that was by far the worst part of our defense.

Yeah.

Run defense. So that was a little bright spot, Debo. A little bright spot. The offensive line didn't play well. They had their hands full. Micah Parson's just a monster. At least I don't have to see him again this year unless we play him in the playoffs.

There was that one drive where you guys went up tempo and just kept him off the field. That was kind of cool that.

That was the best move that we made all night. Y. Yeah. Cliff didn't call a good game. Jaden didn't play well. The offensive line didn't block particularly well. The only bright Spots would be like, yeah, that rush defense, Debo. And then Ertz again. Ertz. It doesn't matter how old he is. Ertz is going to find the end zone.

What did you say to Max in privacy? In between. In the.

At halftime, I said, congrats on the Eagles winning the NFC east again.

That was what it was.

Because, Max, let's get real. I'm. I like to think I'm not delusional as a commander's fan. Fact or fiction?

Fat fact.

We're not a good. We're not a good enough team to win that division. The Eagles are a much better team right now than we are.

I don't know. We didn't look great last week.

I don't. I don't think that it's close. I think that you guys are a much better team than.

I don't know, the Cowboys were like.

I. I'm not.

I'm not just gonna say that. Like, we. I didn't watch that game against the Cowboys last week and be like, oh.

This is the same team that I saw last year. Like, maybe we'll get back to that point.

Well, like, as the season goes on.

But, like, I have to see what.

Happens against the Chiefs this weekend.

I'm not going to be like, oh, yeah, this.

This is ours. Like, our defense did not look good.

Against the Cowboys, who may not even be a good team. It's early in the season, and I realize that, like, teams can change over the course of the year. The commanders might get better, but as it stands right, I can't see this team beating the big dogs. Yeah.

No, the Pack. The packers looked like they were on.

A different level tonight.

You guys play the Packers?

Yes.

Monday Night Football, November 10th.

Whoa. Got it circled.

Yeah.

Well, I want to go to that game.

I stand. I stand. I feel like I was right in my take. The Packers. Those helmets suck.

Yeah, well, it's better at night. They wore them in the daytime last time, and the all whites in the daytime didn't work. But, yeah, the Green Bay packers, they're. They're better than that big.

I'm a tr. That's what I said. That was my original point. Packers transfer game. Mad me. They're a traditional, like, franchise. They're. They're. They're charter member of the NFL. They have classic colors. Wear those colors. They have, like. I don't like the packers, but their colors are. When you see them, you're like, that's the Packers.

Yeah.

And they're wearing all whites like that. It's like, are those the Bengals? I don't know. Or the Dolphins? Just don't mix it up.

Shout out to the.

Be traditional.

Shout out to the people at Lambeau that were wearing the. The white out cheese heads.

Yeah.

That they got specifically for this game or for their wedding. If you're a bride, you can wear that. That's a nice formal piece of. Of headgear that.

Oh, that definitely is getting worn at weddings in Wisconsin. Also, shout out the. The big strong guy who hit the vape. Amazon though, up. You gotta let us see the fat cloud. There was a Packers fan in the third quarter where they. He's got a shirt off, he's muscle bound. He must have hit his vape for a solid like seven seconds. And they cut away right before he gave us the cloud.

Yeah, it was a big rip. Huge.

We needed to see that fat cloud.

And I've seen a lot of this discourse online tonight that the Commanders are fraudulent. I don't, I don't think that they're frauds, because to be a fraud, you have to act like you're the best team in the. You have to be like, acting that way that you can beat anybody and then get embarrassed, get exposed.

Well, they could, they could be frauds in the fact that like last year could have been a fluke.

I don't think that there are frauds.

I don't think that. But that's what I think. People are trying to argue.

If you, if you think they're frauds, you think that the, the people that were saying that they're going to win the super. Those. Those are the ones that are committing fraud. Like in the housing bubble, you didn't get mad at the foreclosed apartments. Right. But you got mad at the people that were. That were buying and selling them.

Right. But you get what I'm saying. Like last year, they had an incredible year. If they don't, if they miss the playoffs this year, there will be the discourse that last year was an anomaly and of a fluke.

I'm not saying that is a fun anomaly. I would, of course Hank would be.

Hank would definitely be. But that, that's where I think the angle. I don't think it's about this year. Yeah, I think it's about last year into this.

I'm also just deep in my feelings right now.

Yeah, of course.

You're recording. Right. Hank, do you still. Are you flipping back on your take that you think the Patriots will be better than the Commanders this year?

Did I ever unreverse that?

No. You reverse.

Yeah, you did reverse. You reversed literally after week one on Sunday night. Sunday night, it was. We did the haves and have nots thing.

Hank's gaslighting.

I'm not giving up on the Patriots.

It's.

It's a long season.

They could definitely be better than the commanders. You guys did the have, have not things.

I didn't rank the teams. I thought the Patriots would be. You said no. You did rank.

You said, you're gonna do better than me. Big cat and big cat. Yeah.

So, yeah, I might be taking that back. I think the commanders will be fine. I think the packers are really good. It's hard to go on Thursday night football early in the season and they played. They played as bad as you could play. That was not a. That was not a competitive game.

That game. America should not have been exposed to that game.

Yeah, it was.

It was. It was bad.

I was juiced up for this matchup. I was pumped up and it just didn't happen.

Yep. Also, shout out Matt Gay. I've always said, like, if you're a kicker and your name is Gay, you.

Have to be super mentally tough boy named sue situation.

Boy named Sue. Yeah. Imagine all the you had to go through to be this successful at life.

Because I think.

I think he'll be okay. But like, having two. He had one doink. But having two doings back to back was crazy.

Yeah. Because like, if your name is Matt Gay, you could just. You just not play sports. Instead you're like, I'm going to go play the toughest sport and be the kicker.

Be the wimpiest position in the fucking locker room. You got it. You got to have a beast diesel of a mind to pull that off.

Yeah.

In conclusion, stop saying Jane Daniels little bro ass.

Who said that?

There's people saying little bro ass.

Little bro ass.

Yeah, I got several little bro asses.

Is he little bro ass of the week? No, I mean he is right now.

Of week two Monday night Football. I think Caleb.

No, week. Week two.

Of week two.

I said of week two.

No, we have to wait until week two.

No, but as of right now, as little bro.

If the week ended right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jaden would be little bro.

You almost said Caleb again.

I just searched Twitter.

Lil bro ass. And the first person that.

The first thing that comes up is.

Pft commenter Little bro.

It just show.

I don't know.

That might be. Yeah, that's my brand. Might be a coincidence, but like, there's.

I don't know why you would Come.

Up when it's because little bro ass. People are tweeting. People are tweeting little bro ass at me.

Oh, so that's the algorithm.

Just the algorithm got.

People are saying at PFT comments or lil bro ass.

Yeah, so it. Okay, so that's, that's, that's a tough.

Phrase to just be connected to your.

Handle though, I guess.

Lot of little bro asses. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, unfortunately we've. It's like when memes gave us the. The Aaron Rodgers stat after a Thursday night football game. If only have one game. If you had to do the little bro ass of the week, there's going to be more little bro. He played little bro ass ish tonight.

Yeah, he was a little bro ass adjacent tonight. Little bro ass curious.

But there's going to be worse. There's going to be more little bro ass performances.

Oh yeah, for sure. But that's, that's the.

He doesn't have the biggest little bro ass of the. Of week two, I'll say that.

Well, right now he does. Well, yeah, right now. Right now there's going to be more. Yeah, there will be a bigger little bro ass.

Mac Jones plays this weekend. That's a good point. Yeah.

Mike Jones versus Spencer Rattler.

No, listen, I did. That's the price that I pay for being the little bro ass guy is you live by the little bro and you die by the little. And playing on Thursday Night Football and playing on.

That's the hard part.

Yeah, man. In the arena. Little bro ass in the arena.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, a lot of little bro asses. Yeah, a lot of little.

That's okay.

What was the meanest thing they were saying about Jaden Daniels?

Little Bro ass as.

That was the meanest thing.

Can you get worse than that? I saw, I saw a couple comments saying like bust.

How can you say bus.

That's fine. Again? I, I wouldn't trade. I don't think that there's a player in the NFL that I would trade for Jaden right now.

Yeah, he played 18 games that were phenomenal. Then he had a bad game. He has the. If you do the 18 games first, you get a couple bad games.

Yeah, he had a bad game. I think that's fair. But he, he wasn't the main problem tonight. There were a lot of problems.

Who ranked the problems?

The offensive line.

Okay.

Was a. Was a bad problem. The past defense was the worst problem. Okay, what's your panic meter at of sophomore slump? Not so 1 to 10, not.

Zero.

My answer is not.

You could just say zero.

I'm not worried.

You should say zero.

Zero. Not. I'm not.

That sounds like.

But the fact that you're not putting.

A number sounds like it might not be zero.

I am not worried. Zero.

So that'd be zero.

B. Zero. I'm not even acknowledging the meter.

So zero.

I'm not saying I gave you a range. It's not like I was.

Like I'm not. I'm just not. I'm not gonna. How about that?

Okay.

That makes me more worried. No, that's right. Because I explicitly said that I wasn't worried. But there's.

I gave you an option to say you're not worried and you're still not taking that option.

I already said that I wasn't worried. By saying zero, Max, Max is inventing a new. A new form of measurement, a new system of measurement. Than asking me to jump into his brain and figure out what.

Well, you said one to 10. One to 10? Yeah.

No, you said zero to wait.

No, I said one to 10 and.

Even gave you zero. Yeah, zero is zero.

I said not.

Yeah, that would be zero. So you got to just say zero. You could say zero.

I'm not. I'm not playing. I'm not playing the game.

Three.

Hank. What?

What.

What is your meter of thinking that.

It could be a sophomore slump? Seven. Whoa, whoa.

Seven's too high. I wasn't even gonna say seven.

How would you define. Where does that.

Where.

How do we know if he's in a sophomore slump?

No playoffs. Seven wins. Yeah, but you're a seven out of 10 that it's going to be a sophomore slump. I'm a game by game guy. And he looked horrible tonight.

You are a game by game guy. That's what we say.

Your schedule is not that hard. Pft too. I was looking at it.

It's not easy. Last year was easy. We gotta. We gotta get back to playing it against first overall picks. That's where Jaden truly shines.

Oh yeah. The. The. The rankings.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So we got hard.

The good news is we've got a mini buy and then the Raiders who.

Are on short rest.

On a short rest?

Yeah. You're gonna dominate them.

That I'm. That's a must win. If we don't beat the Raiders at home, then I will acknowledge Max's scale and I will give a truthful answer.

As opposed to it can still be zero.

I'll acknowledge it and I'll give a truthful answer as opposed to deflecting which I would never do.

Never.

But I won't. I also won't do that next week, which I'm also not doing now.

Correct.

It's pretty easy stuff to follow me.

That's fair. No, that's fair.

I'm very much on the same page.

Yeah, I'm. I'm happy we had this discussion.

By the way, Dan Quinn rack.

Yeah, big time.

He had a heavies. He had a rack.

Heavies. Cannons. He might be on cannons on the power rankings next week. All right, we got an awesome show. We got picks and preview. We got Andrew Santino in studio. We got fire fest. It's a football Friday. Let's kick it to ourselves and get going. Okay. Before we get to our weekend preview, Game time. The NFL is back. Tailgates pack stands that buzz before kickoff. But getting in nightmare cues, price jumps, getting logged out mid click. All you want is to be there. Beer in hand, losing your voice with the crowd. The Game Time app gives the advantage back to fans. It's the hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experience in a few taps. It's incredibly easy to use. And the game time guarantee means you can Trust you'll get 100% authentic tickets on time and at the best price. Plus, fees are always included. So what you see is what you pay. So looking at tickets for the Lions at Bears going to be an absolutely other way around. Oh, I was looking at tickets for Lions a bit. Oh, you were?

Oh.

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Only on Uber Eats. Okay, boys, week two in the NFL. And. And I know we've given this speech many times before, but I'll just say it again. It's bullshit that we only have three games in the afternoon, and two of those games start at 305 Central, 405 Eastern. And then there is one single game at that 325, 425 spot. NFL, you sons of bitches. I love you so much, but stop doing this to us.

At least we get two Monday night games, right?

Yes, we do.

That's good.

We do, but it's just. Just give us. There's so many early games. There's. Are there nine? Yeah, nine early.

So which one are we relegating?

We are gonna relegate. Ooh, there's some good games.

I know there are.

There's a lot of good games. I don't know which one we would run.

49Ers, saints?

Yeah, maybe. All right, well, let's. Let's talk about it. We'll pick. We'll pick one to relegate. Or maybe we'll do a quad box. We can do one of the TVs in the quad box, but. Yeah, this is NFL. Just give us. Just give us seven and five. That's all I ask. Seven and five.

Make it perfect. Make everybody's day a little bit better.

Because this is the problem is that in the afternoon slate, if two of those games are bad, it's like, all right, now you gotta. Now you're stuck with the game.

Yeah. It's not that hard. I don't know why they don't do it, because the Sundays where it's evenly split, everybody enjoys it better, right? Yeah. So why don't they just do that all the time?

Just do what we like, please.

But they don't like doing that.

Adam Silver would do it.

They don't like doing what we like.

Yeah.

Which I respect the NFL for.

Yeah.

So they treat me like. Yeah, they treat me like. Like dirt. I stick to them like mud.

Yeah. I don't respect the NBA.

Yeah.

Just for. Because Adam Silver will do whatever we say.

I get whatever I want. Yeah. The NBA is my hoe.

Yeah. Big time. But I can tell. I could tell the NBA, like, I just walk up to the NBA like, stop punching yourself, NBA.

Yeah. I am the NFL's. Yeah.

All right. I have a theme for this week, Hank. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

There's too Many.

There's too many dogs. My big. And obviously we're not the best gamblers here, but week two always feels like the get even week where it's teams that you're never as bad as you look and you're never as good as you look. So figure out the teams that, hey, this team. And one or two teams are. One or two teams are. But for example, here's a. Here's a little historical angle for you. Week 2 Road Dogs off a double digit loss are hitting at 65% since 2005. That's the Giants and the Panthers. That's gross. The Giants and Panthers looked gross.

Very bad.

Hold your nose. Take those teams. That kind of game. Also, every single game on Sunday last week, week one went under. Everyone's going to be like, oh, maybe it's just an under year. I think it might be go over. Just got to reverse whatever you got.

I got a question for you, Hank. Is one of those teams that maybe look bad but are bad, are they the Dolphins?

I think it's the look bad, are they bad bowl. Yeah, I think the Dolphins Patriots are that game.

Yeah. I didn't know if that was one of the ones you were. Would you ever put the Dolphins in your. In your hungry dog parlay?

Not this week, no. In the future possibly. But yeah, I mean, obviously they're playing the Patriots. I also think they are one of those teams that are that bad. Yeah, we're going to find out. It's also big revenge week.

Huge. Yeah.

We have two matchups with national championship revenges. So let's actually just hop into it. Let's start with one of them. Jaguars at Bengals. Bengals minus three and a half over under 48 and a half. We were at this national championship game.

I remember parts of it.

Yep, Travis Hunter is going to play more defensive snaps this week. The Bengals won finally in week one, but they didn't look good.

Now when it comes to Travis Hunter's workload, like how much more time does he have to spend that he has to do both offense and defense? Is he working like a job and a half now? I think so. Like, what's on Hunter's laptop is what I'm asking.

Yeah. He's just going as hard as he can show us. Yeah.

Fun fact, the Bengals have not been 20 since 2018.

Wow.

Other fun fact, the Jaguars haven't been 2000 since 2018.

Wow.

Something's got to give.

Something's got to give. Do we think. I think the Jaguars are going to be in this Game. I do.

I think that the Bengals looked really, really bad against the Browns offensively, especially very offensively. Really, really bad.

Defensively. Okay.

They looked okay. They got a couple interceptions that were pretty lucky that bounced off Brown's players. But I think what, they only had seven yards of offense in the second half. Yeah, that's tough to do with that Bengals offense.

It's. It. It is week two. It's early. We don't really know what any of these teams fully are. So I just looked at AI and a Bengal would kill a Jaguar like 100 out of a hundred times.

Really? Yeah. Tiger tigers are the. So the real kings.

So the jaguar does have one of like the. The fiercest bites in the animal kingdom is the Bengal outweighs the Jaguar by like £200.

Yeah, it's a pretty significant weight. I actually think that the. The Bengal could beat up any cat, probably any, including a lion.

So a jaguar has its skull crushing bite exceptionally strong for its size, but not strong enough to overcome the tiger or for the larger, thicker skull of a tiger. A jaguar's best chance would be to land a decisive bite to the jaguar's neck or skull in an ambush also. So basically that's trick plays him. Cohen's got to go with trick play. Jaguars have to come from behind. They have to come from behind and they have to trick them.

Have you ever heard a cat fight?

Yeah.

The sound it makes.

Yeah.

This might be a really ugly game to watch or listen to.

Anakin. Ella. The. This is going to be. I feel like whoever walks away two and oh. I'm like, oh, man. Now watch out. Yeah, we overreact.

Yeah, we do. Over again. All the Bengals have to do is just. They can play bad again if they just somehow figure out a way to win. That's all they need to do in September. Yeah. Because I, I'm convinced that their offense is going to be great like it was last year eventually. So if they just. They need to use like all their luck now is what I'm saying.

I don't know. Their offensive line is not good. That's the only thing that would make me nervous. I mean, Joe Burrow got his ass kicked. Gruden was here today and he was just ranting about how someone on the Bengals offensive line is. He was, he was like I was doing tiktoks with him a month ago in an airport. He wasn't on the roster. So they're. They're kind of putting it together. Okay. Yeah. I'm excited for this game. This game Will get a main tv. Yeah.

There's also a big uniform weekend for the NFL. So the Bengals are doing their, their open and orange uniform thing, and it's a combination they've only worn once before.

Let me see these.

Let me see these.

Bengals. Oh, what is it called?

Open in orange.

Open and orange.

Open in orange.

In orange.

Yeah.

That's not what it is. That's it. It's orange.

It's orange. And I think it's the white pants.

I like those a lot.

And the orange socks.

Those are clean, but those are kind of prime time uniforms.

They are. But I think you can use, you can use a primetime uniform against the Jaguars.

Yeah, I agree.

I think that's always fine.

Yeah. Okay. Next up, Giants at Cowboys. Cowboys minus four and a half over under 40. Four and a half. Here's how the Russell Wilson situation is going. The New York Times had a New York Times Athletic had an article titled Russell Wilson deserves everyone's respect on his way out the Giants door.

Okay, so like applaud him when he leaves the field.

It was basically an entire article being like, he's a, he was an underdog, he's an undersized quarterback. He won a Super Bowl. He had an incredible career. We need to give him the grace when he gets benched, which is going to happen because he sucks. Now.

This is exactly my thought process when I had to put Leroy down. That's what I'm going for. Yeah, that's what we're going for right here. It's like, treat him kindly. Walk him to the sideline, give him a little treat.

Steak.

Have let him have his favorite meal.

Whisper in his ear saying, let's ride.

Yeah. And, and maybe go to Jameis, put a little buffer in there before you get the new puppy.

Yep.

Before you get like somebody to replace him. That's going to go out and be your long term guy. And dart, although Dart, at some point they're going to put dart in the game. I don't think that it's going to be a clean benching for us. Wilson. I've thought more about it because my prediction was that Dark gets in against the Chargers. That would be his first start. But I think, I don't know if it's going to be clean benching. I think they might do the Dart packages and they might like slowly incorporate dart into the games.

Is it crazy to think that maybe they just wait till Andrew Thomas is back?

No, that's not crazy.

Because like, that, that feels like it's almost like if Andrew Thomas could play this week. Maybe Dart would play like they just want their left tackle back and then they would potentially put in it because we looked at the schedule. They don't have easy games.

No, they don't.

The only easy game they have is at New Orleans. And that might not be an easy game because they might both be bad.

And it's on the road.

Yeah, I do think that they're. I'm, I'm. I'm going to ride the Giants one more time. One more week of just being like this defense can keep them in games and maybe Russell Wilson can do enough. And if they burn me here, I'm out till dark place.

I actually think that. I think that Dak is going to have another big game.

He didn't have that big of a game.

Well, he, he did not have statistically a big game, but yeah, he looked good and did look good, and there were a few drops in there that of course, would have added to his yardage total. I think Dak's going to play. He always plays good against the Giants.

Yeah, always. Yeah, he does. I actually think, like, Dak, what's the streak? I think he's won a million in a row.

2016.

That's. That's a lot. That's a lot in a row. I know he's been injured a little, but. Yeah, that's a lot.

That's a lot.

He beats the Giants.

He does. He. That's what he does. I, I'm going to go with Dak again.

I actually think 13 game winning streak against the New York Giants.

Like, we, we might be wrong about Dak this year. Would we rank him 17th best?

Yeah, I know. I think he's lower. I think we, we ended up with like 24.

I, I think Dak could, he could sniff around the top 10.

Sniff.

He could sniff. And now he does need to get Pickens involved because if he doesn't, that's going to blow up.

George Pickens, though, maybe taking a more mature route, said he's focused on just staying open for, for Dak. I'm not really worried about the touches, catches, all that stuff. I'm just trying to stay open for the team. I'm trying to focus on the first win. That's good.

He rehearsed that in the mirror like nine times.

Yeah.

Before he said it to the press.

He's like, you could do this. Is the Giants one of your hungry dogs?

No.

Oh, I think the Cowboys are solid. Stop us when you, when we get to a hungry. We're about to dive in. We're about to get to the hungry dogs. Yeah. Bears at Lions. Yep. Yeah, I think so, too. I've come. So Bears and Lions. Lions minus six over, under 46 and a half. I've gone through the whole process. This is this revenge game for which side?

Ben Johnson.

I think it would be more revenge for Dan Campbell.

Yeah. Because he took some coaches and Ben Johnson left.

This feels like a revenge game. This feels like a game where it means a little more.

I think it does mean a lot to Ben Johnson.

Oh, for sure. Well, he got to win. Like, you got to start winning. So I've gone through the whole process of the week, and I. Obviously, I was down on Tuesday after the game. I still stand by the fact that I think Caleb needs to start playing better, showing improvements. Kurt Warner did a whole thing where he's like. He was actually, like, great. I, I don't. Because I, I, I. Maybe I'm just so dumb. But, like, I talked to Prisco, I talked to Gruden. I saw Kurt Warner. They all have just differing opinions on the tape, which I don't really understand. What did Gruden say? Gruden said that it's not. It doesn't look great. You gotta trust. I know. And Prisco said the. Prisco was like. Which is something that I thought with my eyes. It's not like he's playing bad. It's that the feel of the game is not there. Like, the hitting open receivers before they're open kind of stuff.

And he's doing the thing where he's talking about how good he was at those throws in practice.

Right.

He's like, I made those all week. I. I have a little bit of inside information. It's probably better than actually talking to John Gruden or to Pete Prisco or. Kurt Warner ran into a guy at the bank who is a big Bears fan, and I was wearing my commander's hat, and he said, you. And then he said. I was like, that's a weird thing for a teller at the bank to be telling me. But then he goes, actually, I'm not mad at you.

I'm.

I'm just upset with how Monday Night Football went. I said, I hear that. And he told me his problem with Caleb Williams. Okay, his problem is that Caleb Williams is now processing things too fast. Oh, so last.

Too fast.

Last year, he wasn't processing fast enough. He was taking a lot of sacks. This year, Ben Johnson's drilled it into him so much. You got to get through your reads. And then you got to decide to check down or get out of the pocket. He's going. He's like skipping reads two, three, just to get to the decision of whether or not to scramble or throw.

So that's not processing too fast. It's not processing well.

It's. It's better than taking a sack. It is, right?

So that still is a processing.

He's like. So he's. He's going too fast through his reads. So we need to just slow down on reads two and three now.

And by the way, Caleb Williams did say he kind of agreed with the assessment that he needs to, like, have a better feel for the game because he said the. The overthrows or the mist throws are his decisiveness. Like, when his decisiveness loses, he said this quote. He said decisiveness always wins when you start being hesitant and things like that, you start missing passes, easy passes that you feel that you don't typically miss. That's what he said. So he's kind of holding. And I like Ben Johnson a lot because he takes accountability. He literally, on Tuesday morning, did a press conference, was like, yeah, I fucked up. I shouldn't have. I don't know why Cairo told me that he could get out of the end zone. Yeah, it's. I. I likened it to, like, when my. When I was on vacation last year and my three year old said that she could swim, and I knew she couldn't swim, and I was just like, all right, jump in. And she jumped in. She went right to the bottom. I picked her up. Ben Johnson needs to know, like, hey, Cairo's gonna tell you he can swim.

He can't swim.

Yeah.

Like, can't kick it out of the end zone.

When Zach tells Travis Pastrana, I can do a backflip.

Yes.

Travis has to watch him ride and be like, I don't think the backflips for you today.

We're canceling the back.

Let's go barrel roll instead.

But I am.

So.

I'm all the way through the. The roller coaster of emotions this week. I do think the Bears can win this game. I think they definitely can cover. I think the Lions problems are less about the. I think the. The coordinator stuff is overrated. I think the interior offensive line is underrated when it comes to the Lions issues.

Yeah. Cause Jared Goff, he. He likes the play action. He likes having his back to the line of scrimmage, and when he turns around, if there's like three dudes that are coming in his face, that's hard to get.

That's A lot of dudes.

That's too many dudes to wipe off.

And that's what the Lions have done the last two years. They've. They've beaten teams with just absolute maulers up front.

Yeah. Are you concerned at all that this is a Dan Campbell, we're going to win this game. Game?

Of course. He says, how could I not be?

He says, we're going to win this game. That's what Dan Campbell said. And then he said we have to. Oh, it's a half. It's a half to win for the Lions.

Yeah. That makes me very nervous.

Yeah, I would be. I'd be a little concerned about that.

This is why the NFL is the best, though, because every other sport, there's too many games in the NFL. Are you overreacting in Week 2? If you're 01, you say you have to win maybe a little, but also not. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, the loser of this game is going to feel really bad about their season come Monday morning. And that. That's the best part of the NFL, is every week feel this, like, intensity ramps up, where you're like, yeah, you got to win this game. There's a must win in week two.

You think they're going to give Ben Johnson the Matt Stafford treatment?

I don't know. There was a reporter who asked him about. It was like, why, like, do you feel, like, bad about leaving Detroit?

No. He should. He shouldn't. He got a head coaching. He actually put it off for some would say too long. Yeah. Like, he stuck around. He was very, very loyal for a long time. But we all remember what happened with Matt Stafford and his daughters. Yes, they booed his daughters. They were just definitely 100 booing Matt Stafford and.

Yeah, he was. They were definitely right next to each other. Yeah. As they booed Matt Stafford. Do you. You think the Bears can win this game?

I do think the Bears can win this game.

Handily. What? Handily?

What is handily?

Like never sweating the money line. Not never sweating the money line, but. But two scores in the fourth quarter.

So the, the thing that Big Cat was talking about with the. The offensive line being out, if you watch Jameer Gibbs try to run the ball last week, it was very apparent. Yeah, it was super apparent. Like, dudes were. Were getting to him in the backfield. Every time he got the ball, it was like he. He hardly ever got to the line of scrimmage untouched.

I do think. Don't you think Ben Johnson can help game plan the defense, too? Yeah. Well, and here's. Here's what? Well, Dennis Allen did a pretty good job against Vikings, but I'm saying against his former team. Yeah, yeah. Like these are his guys. I am part of what is making me feel better about like coming out the other end and being like, hey, have patience. I do. I. I do think I freaked out a little bit in the fact that the Vikings are a really good team and Brian Fullers is a really good coach. I think the Vikings are going to end up being a playoff team, high seed team. So that part is like, it's not like you lost to a shitty team. It might feel a little easier going up against the Lions than it is going up against a Brian Flores defense because he confuses the fuck out of everyone.

Do you think that Ben Johnson is going to have one fuck you play?

I hope so.

Like a trick play that maybe he tried to install and Dan Campbell was like, that's a little bit insane even for you, Ben. And he's. Now there's no training wheels on him anymore.

I take it back. I actually don't hope so. I. Because I want to do the regular plays first.

Okay.

You got to walk before you can run.

But you can still watch that happen and be like, I love Ben Johnson. He's the best.

What if a fuck you play is just like a really well timed 20 yard out to DJ Moore?

That'd be good play.

That would be fine. I don't know if that start with smaller fuck you.

I don't know if that's a fuck you.

No, no.

That could be like the play that Jared didn't want to. What was the. The one where they, they tended to fumble.

Yeah. Against the Bears.

They actually let Caleb fumble it.

Yeah.

And everyone would believe it and they're.

Just like, hey, here it is.

Like it gets. It gets caught in his giant gray undershirt.

I'm going to say something too, and this is probably going to. Going to look really stupid when we do the show on Sunday night. I, I wouldn't mind if Caleb had a couple more interceptions. We're getting to a point now where he doesn't throw interceptions and it feels like I'd like him to take some more shots.

Okay.

All right, listen. Do you not agree in theory?

I think it's a little bit early for that kind of talk.

Well, no, I'm. I'm going off of last year too. Like I saw a stat. He's like 11 touchdowns, one interception in his last, I think 12 games and one in 11 or whatever it is. Just take a couple shots like that. Hesitancy. He talked about himself. Let it rip.

Let it rip.

Let it rip.

He does. He gets to the checkdowns too early.

You got me. Do you agree? Let it rip. Let him rip.

Stakes. Who gives a fuck? Yeah.

Like a deep interception if you're letting it rip. I. I don't want to. I don't want to have it be like you know, 120 yards. But he didn't throw an interception. And it looked like it looked Monday night. Let it rip.

We know if Caleb's going to go to Angel Reese's nail tech before this game. All right, listen, that was a one time.

Listen, Angel Reese got a fucking good nail tech.

Yeah.

Why wouldn't you use the best nail tech when offered to you?

Yeah, I mean she's elite at me bounce.

It's really. That did not help. The. That did not help.

Yeah. Do you think he.

It's for suicide prevention. Before you say anything.

Which is great.

Thank you.

It has not worked well on you.

Thank you.

But yeah, Big cat has dropped like 4. I'm gonna off myself some. Last week going back to like when his ear was plugged up.

Yeah.

This actually came out. This came at a great time for.

Yeah, that went on the news and I threatened to kill myself.

Said it on the news. It was.

My ear was. Was killing me.

It just seemed like when. When it came out that it was Angel Reese's nail tech that seemed like twisting the knife a bit. Little, little bit.

It was. It was like, hey, how could we make this even funnier? Yeah, how could we make it?

They were great nails.

How can we make sure that people get thousands of retweets?

I gotta say, the nails judging off of just pure nail artistry, they're well done.

Dude, I loved it. That lime green one o. It's awesome.

Yeah.

All right. Yeah, we'll see what the lines are. I mean the Lions could easily just kill the Bears and look like the Lions last year and they're off and running. But it does feel especially cruel. I hate the back to back division games to start the season.

I do too.

One of these teams is going to be owned to in the division to start the season.

Didn't matter for the packers last year.

That feels like a big, big hole.

I don't know if they started against but they went what 1 and 7 or 1 and 1 and 5?

Yeah, they didn't start that way. Yeah, they did. They went one and five in the division. But that was also. They also. Then Finished third in the division, so. Okay. Next up, Hank, can I interest you in Tennessee Titans plus five and a half? Yep. Over under 41 and a half. Sold Rams at the Titans. I agree. I think the Titans are frisky. Frisky teams cover spreads. They don't win games. They cover spreads. Though the Titans defense is good, the Rams offense is going to take a little time to really get going. With Matthew Stafford missing training camp, if the Titans could just not have a million penalties. And also coaching blunders.

Yeah.

Including when to challenge plays, when not to. We have knowing the rules.

We have an update on that, by the way.

Okay.

So after the game, Callahan said he didn't. Well, the way he explained his decision about the challenge was he said if you have an elbow, then you also need two feet, which is not the rule.

Not the rule.

And then later on this week, he was asked about that and he said that he actually misspoke. So good news for Titans fans. Even when he said the rule incorrectly, he was just. He was just speaking wrong.

It was just a prank.

It was just a prank he was pulling. He said my interpretation of the rule was wrong. I'll own it. We should have challenged the play. That's pretty much all I can say about it. I misspoke. I'm well aware of the rule. I understand how it works, and the way I articulated afterwards was incorrect, and I understand the rules of this game pretty well. So he. He interpreted the rule incorrectly and also misspoke about the rule at the same time. But he definitely. He's been reading the rulebook this week.

Yeah, he's got. He's ready to go. Titans just got clean a little bit up and they could maybe cover the spread.

Their defense was awesome.

Their defensive line is good. Their defense is awesome. The Rams offense did not look great. I'm a little worried about the Titans offensive line because that's not great. Cam Ward, though, I eyeball test, he looked, his numbers were bad. I thought if his guys can just catch the ball.

Calvin Ridley.

Yeah. Just catch the ball when it's thrown to you.

Yeah. Do the Titans have the saddest history of free agent wide receivers ever? Calvin Ridley, in theory should be good, right?

In theory.

In theory, he's a good player.

Yes.

If you go back and you look at the other guys that they've had, I'm sure we can. Like Randy Moss.

Yeah.

Julio Jones forgot to hit Randy Moss. Yeah. They. They like to get guys that are way late.

Yeah. Way, way late. Okay. Hank, what about Patriots at dolphins dolphins minus one and a half over under 43 and a half. Love the Patriots in this game. New uniforms. Another week in the system.

McDaniels had a press conference talking about Drake.

May said he's not worried about overloading him with information. You gotta remember, it's the first week in a new system. Wait, McDaniels did Josh McDaniels. Oh, Josh McDaniels.

This is confusing.

Yeah, that was. Sorry, McDaniels.

I said.

Yeah, yeah. No, I. But I always screw up. The McDaniel. McDaniels thing. They're the same. And he said. He said he's going to be really good player. And he's. He's. He's the guy. I think he said verbatim, he is the guy.

Okay, that's.

I mean, he said that verbatim. We can find that quote.

His. His offensive coordinator said he's the guy. This is huge. If that's actually what he said.

Yeah. Is the right guy.

Right guy. But is it the right time?

The right guy sounds like. Like, when you. Like a girl. Yeah.

Yeah.

Breaks up with, like, a hot body, like, bad boy, and then finds a nice guy, like, well, he's the right guy for me right now.

Yeah. A guy that's, like, 20 years older has, like, a much more established 401k.

He's the right guy.

He's the right guy. Drives a Subaru.

Yeah. You know, we'll make it work.

Yeah.

Have some kids.

The right guy. It's the right thing to do.

Yeah.

I'm. I'm ready for that time in my life.

Yeah.

Yeah. She. She wants to get back with her ex.

So far, he's the right guy.

All it takes is one text. Can I have Tim Tebow being like, you up? And McDaniels is like, yeah, I'm so up.

I got my. I'm so hornier.

I'm upper than I've ever been.

I got my pants off. The patriots never beaten Tua. Is that not crazy? Always bad against 7 and offense, especially Miami, but they've never beaten to a. Yeah, that's crazy. That is crazy.

But counterpoint. TUA has never beaten Mike Frable.

Yeah. Yeah. Because they, what, played twice against each other.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I also. This game, to me, is as simple as Rex Ryan opened the floodgates and called Mike McDaniel McGenius and a dork and a nerd. And now I have that in my head. Like, I always knew that. Obviously, Mike McDaniel is a smarter guy, analytical guy, but the Minute a fat guy walks in and says, that's a.

Dork, I listen to fat guy.

It sticks in my head. And now in my head, it's Mike Vrabel versus dork. I'm gonna take Mike Rabel.

This exact scenario has played out in high school cafeterias across the country since the dawn of time.

The dork doesn't win unless the dork can figure out a way to, like, tie the. The Mike Vrabel shoes together before it.

Can be a prank. Yeah, Frank can be involved, but it.

Just feels like Mike Vrabel versus dork is a mismatch.

Well, it's tough. If it was head coach Rex ryan against Mike McDaniel, he called him a dork and a brainiac and a nerd, I would, I would almost think that the nerd would win that game.

Yeah. Because he's trying too hard.

But the fact that it's somebody that's just in the media, right. Being like, you, dork. But Mike McDan, he's thinking about that all week. Like, it's. Even when he's not thinking about it, he's walking more like a nerd. He's probably polishing his. I guarantee you his glasses got knocked off at some point this week.

Yep.

And then he felt around on the ground for him.

And even.

God damn it, he's right.

He maybe, like, walked into a glass door.

Oh.

And then Mike Vrabel on the other side is like, yeah, I guess, I guess I never saw it, but he is a fucking door.

Oh, yeah.

You know, I'm going to stuff him in a locker. You know.

Very well laughed at that for sure.

This is some high level analysis right here, folks. But it. I. I'm not going to lie. This is how I gamble where it's like, Mike Vrabel versus Dork.

All right, so. So Tua. He's also had three turnovers in each of his past three games that he started.

How many is that total?

Not a good trend. At least three turn. I don't know if it was three.

Oh, it might be. It might be more than that.

It's nine plus.

That ain't good.

Nope. Also, Tyree Kill is being investigated for sexual assault again.

Also, Tyree Kill doesn't want to be.

On the doll or domestic assault. Excuse me.

Okay. Wow, that was really up, what you said about. Right. Tyree Kill there for a second.

Yeah. Well, also, it's in a divorce proceeding, but it's in the news now, so it's probably not. He's probably not happy.

No, he's not happy anyway.

He's never happy.

Yeah, he is not happy whatsoever. It's been. I saw a stat. It's been over a year since Tyree Kill has had a completion. A reception over 30 yards.

That's not.

Is that not insane?

Because that's like the thing that he does.

That's what he does. Yeah, he just stopped doing what he does.

I might be. I might be low key on Tyreek side in this.

In the.

The assault, not the domestic.

Oh, okay. In the 30 yard reception.

In the 30 yard reception.

Should we bet him longest reception on Sunday?

No, because I think that he's. It's a trend. I don't think that they're going to cater to him. They would have catered to him a long time ago.

I think they're trying to cater to him. I don't think that they like. I think they're going out there and the appetizer plates are empty.

You think so?

Well, they got the guy. The wait staff maybe can't get him the stuffed mushrooms and the bacon wrapped scallops.

That's true.

They would want to cater to him, but they don't have the ability to cater to him.

This is also another revenge game this week.

Yes.

Matthew Judon.

Yes.

Is he going to wear the sleeves? He looked.

He wore orange sleeves last week. He looked awesome.

That's big.

That's huge. I don't know uniforms the Dolphins are wearing, but his ability to make sleeves look so cool and stand out is impressive.

Wait, is this. Is this the rivalry week uniforms?

Yeah, the Patriots are wearing the gray. Oh, really?

The shipwreck jerseys or whatever?

Yeah, they're cool. Wow. There was a shipwreck. Should have had a lighthouse something like that walked into that one. Dude.

It'S in Miami.

Come on, Hank. I don't know if they're the. Whatever.

I'll find shit wreck.

I also don't think that's true.

It's not the shipwreck uniform they're also not wearing. Yeah, they just tweeted 2 hours ago. Packing the blue and silver. It's their normal uniforms. That's the next game that they're. When they play each other again at home.

Hank just swung so hard at a pitch that his pants fell down.

Yeah, Hank, you said that to start.

To like start this preview. And I looked it up and I realized it was wrong.

I thought we were just going to gloss over it. Hank, you. You have to.

Well, they put.

What?

They put the jerseys on sale day. That's why I thought that.

Oh, you have to re. Evaluate. Reevaluate the metrics.

Yeah, just do a Callahan. You misspoke. I misspoke? Yeah.

Misspoke.

Yeah. Kind of like when I said USF and you guys gaslit me.

I want to see. I think that was AI.

Yeah, that's what Hank said, too.

It was AI.

I just so funny, because I forgot it was an edited podcast. I forgot it happened. And then I woke up on Wednesday morning and I just had like 15 tweets being like, you said USF. Oh, okay, awesome.

I was checked out while you were saying that. I was looking something up. And then Hank said, you said usf. Or you said usc. And then I was like, oh, yeah, he did. I just went along with what Hank said.

For some reason in my.

I didn't say anything at the time. I thought you said usa.

Wait, Hank was the one who started it. I said us. And then you just said, did you say usc?

So that's actually not true. Oh, really?

Oh, so it's a triple.

This is all.

This is all AI.

I didn't say anything, though.

But I did think that you said it wrong because I remember when I was editing it, I was like, oh, he was right.

I don't know what we were.

What was going on in our heads.

We got a triple gas light off. All right, next up, 49ers Saints. Saints plus three over, under 40 and a half. I love the 49ers in this game simply because it's a revenge game. Another revenge game. It's Kyle Shanahan saying, I should have picked Mac Jones. I told you we should have picked Mac Jones. I now get to show off Mac Jones because Mac Jones is playing for Kyle Shanahan. The Mac Jones revenge game.

Yeah, it's again, a little bit early in the season for Mac Jones. It's too early in the calendar. That's.

It's too early for. The 49ers have this many injuries.

We don't need it to happen right now. It's a toe. It's a turf toe. That's the significant one for him. Right. He's got a shoulder, too. But it's the turf toe that's a concern, and that could keep him out for a while. I think it's time for the Niners to start considering a long term backup plan besides Mac Jones.

I disagree. I think Mac Jones is going to be good because Kyle Shanahan is going to coach extra hard to show that he should have. He wanted to pick. The story goes that he wanted to pick Mac Jones and then John lynch got involved, and it was Trey Lance. If that story's correct. And it may not be, but if it is correct, don't you think Kyle Shanahan's gonna put a little extra mustard on it to be like, I'm not sleeping at all this week? I need to prove what. Mac Jones was the guy, and I should have picked Mac Jones. And Mac Jones can be a really good starter in the NFL. I don't know if that's true, but I think Kyle Shan's gonna try as hard as he can to make that true.

I. I do think that there's some truth to. Like last year when Matt LaFleur had to start Malik Willis.

Yeah.

And he just coached his dick off.

Right.

It was a great game plan that they had.

They basically show off like, I can.

Coach anyone, like, except for Trey Lance.

Except for trailer.

You cannot put that on me. Yeah. That. That was mean, what you did to me. That's what he's saying to. To John Lynch. I do think that Mac Jones. Spencer Rattler. We were talking about different names for Spencer Rattler. Mac Rattler. Mac Rattler would be the best quarterback name of all time.

Yeah. And Spencer Jones would be perfect to run the PR department for the Niners. Or.

Or just backup. That's a backup quarter. Mack Rattler, backed up by Spencer Jones.

Yeah. Spencer Jones.

They did. They cut their kicker.

They did. Jake Moody. Gone.

So he was. He was 74 on field goals. The only other kicker that was drafted in the top 100 in the last 20 years, you know, that was Roberto Aguayo.

Oh.

Who is also the turtle. Turntle. Rip. Turntle.

Rip. Turntle.

What a great turtle it was.

He was present for the killing of a turtle.

He. Yeah, he was materially involved. He was accessory to the murder of a turtle. And he was cut after one season. 2. So you should never draft a kicker in the first 100 picks.

Yeah. Unless Eddie Pino.

Sebastian Ji.

Yeah. Eddie Pinero is there.

Yep. Good kicker.

Good kicker. Never witnessed a turtle murder.

That we know of.

That we know of.

So this is also the f. The first time that the Saints have a drafted quarterback to start a game after his rookie season for the Saints since Danny Wurfle. Yeah.

99.

99. Danny Werfel. I think it was 99 that he started.

Yeah, that sounds right. Actually.

Yeah, that was. That was late 90s, but yeah. The Saints just don't start their own drafted quarterbacks. Correct. They had Drew Brees there for forever. That's a big reason why Yep.

Chris Olave. Let's rate if this was a shot at Spencer Rattler or not. He was talking about the hit that he took, and he said, they see me take a big hit, they take me to the tent automatically. I feel like it will be more than usual this year.

He's getting profiled, but I also think.

He might be saying, Spencer Rattler's gonna throw me some hospital passes. Here, play it. Play the audio so we can hear if he's, like, laughing about it or.

Every time they see me take a.

Big hit or, like, something like that.

I feel like they take me to the tent automatically.

I feel like it's gonna be a.

Lot or more than usual this year.

But, yeah, I try to tell them.

I'm good, but they just try to.

Check on me, make sure.

Maybe that's the. More than usual is just like, them being extra precautious, or is it more than usual? Hospital pass.

No, I think it's just like, if they see me get hit, they think, my God, this guy's gotten hit a lot. I hope he's okay.

But could it also be that Chris Olave is Or. Sorry, Spencer Rattler throws a lot of hospital passes.

I think. I think if Spencer Rattler watches this video, he might think to himself, maybe I won't try to get him killed. Yeah, but I don't think that's what his intention was.

Also, just don't have Spencer rattler Throw it 46 times. What are you gonna say, Max?

I was gonna say, who do you think gets traded first?

Chris Olavia Tyree. Kill.

Tyreek Hill. Hey, Terry goes.

Chris Lobby needs to get traded, too, though.

He'll be a Jet.

You're staking claims, everyone. Ohio State jets, you gotta. Let's just build it out, all right? All right.

Ohio State Jets.

I mean, Chris Olav, he's a great player. Yeah. When he's playing.

Yeah. Memes. Let's talk about the Jets. Bill's jets. Jets plus six and a half. Hanks shaking his head. Yeah. Hungry Dog over under 46 and a half. Memes. Culture change. Love this move from Aaron Glenn. Xavier Gibson cut. I do love this move. There's a counterpoint to that. Shouldn't have been on the roster to begin with. Okay. But maybe he kept him on the roster. Being like, he's going to fuck up, then I can cut him and show everyone that. I mean, because. So Xavier Gibson had the fumble that cost him the game on kickoff return. Aaron Glenn out of here.

Yep.

Cut him. I like that move. I do Think it kind of sets it up. Like, hey, we're not gonna, we're not gonna, we're gonna hold on to the rock in this building. And if there was other real account accountability, Brandon Stevens wouldn't play this week. Okay.

Okay.

That is the big worry. After watching the All 22, the breakdowns of it where you watch the All 22, just other people breaking down other.

People watch the all 22.

Yeah. We are film guys. Guys in that respect.

Yeah.

If he wasn't the cornerback, the jets probably won the game.

Yeah, he had a very, very bad week. So he had seven targets. There were five catches, 60 yards, two scores. He also got DPI. He had 136.9 passer rating when targeted. And he fell down and dropped the game winning easiest interception.

Aaron Rodgers threw him the ball.

That's a, that's a bad game. But I, I also, I like the move by Aaron Glenn just to be like, hey, I'm about accountability here. I need to fire somebody after one week who's the easiest guy that I can fire that might not come back to bite me in the ass.

Yeah. And Aaron Glenn still believes in Brandon Steven. So if he believes in him, I guess I will, too.

It sounds like you believe in him. Yeah, I'm believing you. But besides the fact that you said he should have been cut. Yeah, he should have been cut. But since he should never play again, since he's not cut, you believe in. Yeah, I believe in them. I respect that. I get that. Okay. The Bills now lead the league in Bill Burrs on their team. Oh, they got a second Bill Burr. So obviously the coach looks a little bit like Bill Burr.

Yeah.

And then they signed punter Cameron Johnston, who looks identical to Bill Burr. So now they've got double. They got double Burrs. Two Bill Burrs on the team.

I like that.

So that's some saber metrics for you. Also, this was kind of an interesting thing because I went back, I. Like we said when we were trying to avoid talking about the Bears or JMU on Wednesday. Yeah, we went back, we watched the fourth quarter of the Ravens. Bills.

Correct.

And even still, like, I, I, I can't describe how great Josh Allen was in that fourth quarter.

It's insane.

It was just unreal how easy the game was for him. And he's just making incredible throws, doing it with his feet, scrambling. I was, it was awesome to watch. And then I looked at the stats for that game. Josh only had a 74 QBR in that game. And I thought to myself, he Played, like, perfectly. Especially, like, the second 251 yards. Incredible. But still, I would expect his QBR to be hot. Much higher than that. I did a deep dive into it. Some of his stats in that fourth quarter actually didn't help his qbr because they came in garbage time. Because they were. Because they were down by, what, for 15 points? 14 points. And so even though the game is marked as unwinnable in ESPN's own metrics. Yeah, they came back in one.

That's.

And it's still. And it still didn't help his qbr.

That's how good he was. That's how good he was. He was not even rating on qbr.

Yeah. You got to redefine the metrics. Yeah.

Did we ever get an answer to what happened to score Gummy? Thankfully, like, Jake would. We would have. Jake would have, like, maybe cried in front of us if we had, because Score Gummy. Like, the rumors are. It's a Ravens fan. Oh. So Score Gummy didn't tweet the score. Got me.

Yeah. On Sunday night, Jake was trying to wake him up.

He was. But imagine if Jake. Like, we would have. We would have said some mean shit about Score Gummy guy.

So have they just been dark since then? No, they did the.

They did the Monday night Football game.

And they just never address. Are we sure that it was a Score Gummy?

I think it was.

This is the biggest scandal to happen to the NFL in years.

You kind of respect that, though. The. The Score Gummy guy has to be a Ravens fan.

Is the score Gummy just straight up a computer program, though? Yeah, but he's the one that would be posting it.

He couldn't bring himself to post the fact that they lost.

I think it's a bottle.

I just texted Jake for comment on Score Gummy Guy not being.

It's not John Boyce. He doesn't run it. He came up with the concept of the score got me. And then this account, like, put in their metrics or, like the tracking.

That's crazy. You can't just not tweet it. I don't even like score gummies. And I was mad.

This is like when blooper went dark.

Yeah. Well, that was because Max and Philly ran blooper off the Internet.

That is true. I still have blooper notifications on since that for whenever bloopers. So like three times a week, I just get a notification from Blooper Braves. Being like, isn't big cat fat.

2023 MVP playoffs Phillies fans bullied the Braves mascot into an online meltdown ahead of nlts.

It's my. It's my favorite headline ever.

It's the best headline of.

That's a serious headline.

That is.

CBS Sports had that headline about a.

Fictional mascot getting bullied off the Internet.

I love it.

So, memes, you think that you guys can win this game? I think it's possible. Josh Allen's just so good. He's so good. He's playing on easy mode.

I do think it's possible. For the Jets. I do think it's possible. They just have to.

You really have to stick to the run. Well, it's almost like run the clock out. Yeah. The Bills defense looked bad against the Ravens and Ed Oliver is in a walking boot as of today, so that'll free up the interior.

So he's not going to play?

He might. He's in a walking boot. He just didn't. He didn't practice say so. I don't know.

Was he listed on the injury report?

Yes, as a dnp.

DNP for.

Okay.

Yeah. I mean, if there's one guy that you would like to be out on that defensive line, it's definitely Ed Oliver.

Yeah. Freeze up the middle and then Breeze hall also posts like a wide receiver.

On social media, which I think is good for the offense.

What do you mean he posts like a wide receiver? He was posting on his IG story comments and being like, I heard what everybody said all off season. Like, trade me. You guys don't want me anymore. Like, so now he's just gonna go off. So I. I like that the running back is doing that. Yeah.

Okay.

You need one guy. I'm still that dude.

I got. I had a crazy thought earlier. Bills have the easiest schedule now.

Undefeated.

Wouldn't it be funny if the Bills went undefeated and then they didn't lose in the playoffs and they won the super bowl and then that would just ruin Hank's world.

Undefeated.

It's week one. I'm not going to overreact, but I think that the Buffalo Bills are going to go undefeated. Win the Super Bowl.

That would be an overreaction. Yeah. The. I just think their defense will, like, they'll have a lot of these games. I actually think this game, like Josh Allen has not been great at MetLife. Right. Past five to six games have been one score games. So six and a half here. Have you won any of those? Two out of the two out of three.

Two out of five.

Oh, yeah. That's right. Opening night. Okay. Seahawks at Steelers, Steelers minus three. Over under 39 and a half revenge game. DK.

DK revenge game.

DK revenge.

Big time.

I think the Steelers defense is not as bad as it showed in week one. I think that actually means was more about the jets offensive line. I think the Steelers are gonna win this game because I think the Seahawks might be in trouble.

They didn't. They did nothing exciting. No, their defense was good. Seahawks defense was very.

Yes.

Sam Darnold did not look like the good Sam that we saw last year. He looked like bad Sam.

They also kind of didn't let him try to be the good Sam, except.

When he was throwing the ball to jsn.

Yes.

So it's like they have one weapon right now, and it looks like, hey, the Seahawks, Mike could use another wide receiver to take some of the pressure off jsn. Be nice if they had a guy.

Like that, like a big, tall, strong guy.

Yeah. He doesn't even need to be able to turn. Just a guy. A big, tall, strong guy that can run straight, that wears a very big mouthpiece and will beat the fuck out of you.

Yeah.

That's the kind of guy that the Seahawks are missing right now.

Yeah, I'm. I'm. I. I think the Steelers, we'll see. I think they're going to win this game. I think their defense is. It's a little overrated. How bad they work. They work. And there's also this happens, like, even to the good defenses, this will happen over the course of the year where it's like you just get into one of those games. You get into one of those shootout games that you don't know what's going to happen. And it's just kind of like the game flow gets out of. Out of the. Out of control for both sides and you end up with the 34, 32 game.

Yeah, this is one of those games, too, where the visiting team. I think it's very hard to find a direct flight from Seattle to Pittsburgh. Yeah. That just doesn't seem like a moneymaker for Air Alaska or whatever.

No. Except for this weekend.

Except for this weekend. Also, point of fact, favoring the Steelers, the national anthem is going to be performed by Bruce Dickinson from Iron Maiden.

Love that.

Pretty cool. He's the guy that Christopher Walken played in the More Cowbell sketch. Yep, that's the guy.

Yep.

I hope he brings a cowbell.

I hope he brings Christopher Walken.

Yeah, actually, that would. That would probably. It would annoy the out of DK if he rig a cowbell.

Yeah, he did. Yeah. All right. Browns at Ravens. Ravens -11 and a half over under 45 and a half. What do we think about the Ravens holding their 30th anniversary of the time they stole the franchise from Cleveland on this weekend? They are claiming that it was all predetermined before the schedule. It's kind of like the Ohio State, like, barstool thing. I would like the Ravens to just come out and say, yeah, we're petty. I think stole your fucking team.

Listen, the Ravens 100% did this on purpose.

Right.

And submit it. And if they didn't do it on purpose and you see that this is the game on the schedule, and you don't want to do it on a week like this. You change the week.

Right?

They want to do this.

Yes.

They want to be like, hey, we got your team. They stunk for you.

Got your team.

They're great for us. We won Super Bowls. We love them. We're making you insanely jealous in your face. It's a divisional rivalry.

Yeah.

And as they should, like, it's their right to do that. This is a team that you're supposed.

To hate, and we're going to make you start. The quarterback that won our last Super bowl, like, 12 years after he did it, Joe Flacco.

Revenge game.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Joe Flacco, by the way, is going for. He and Matthew Stafford this week both have a chance to beat their 31st team.

I like that.

So there's only four guys who've beaten 32 teams in NFL history. You guys want to take guess?

Tom Brady.

Yep.

Brett Favre.

Yep.

Breeze.

Yep.

Peyton Manning.

Yep. Got him. Got all four.

You know, football, there's really hard.

There's also two guys currently who have beaten 31 teams that are waiting to beat their 32nd as well.

Is it Matt Safford and Joe Flacco?

No.

No.

They have 30. Oh.

To go.

They're both 31. Yeah. This weekend, two guys with 31. Two guys stuck on 31 right now.

Did you just fart? No. There's my foot. Oh. Oh, yeah. Russell Wilson.

Yes. Russell Wilson's. Yes. And Patrick Mahomes.

Oh, that son of a. Yeah.

Just kind of fun fact. I don't know.

There's a fun fact. But yeah, they're. They're definitely doing this on purpose.

Yeah.

100. They're gonna have, like, a bunch of old. Or. Yeah. Old Colts there to honor the Colts. Even though the Baltimore Ravens move to. Or the Baltimore Colts moved to Indianapolis.

Right.

And then the Browns moved to Baltimore. They're honoring the Colts in The big anniversary celebration about the Browns movie. Yes. So try to follow that one.

Yes. I like Jerry Judy's press conference. He did a shirtless press conference saying the Ravens have no challenges for him and also said that the line is disrespectful. You need a little bit of crazy in your wide receiver. He. This was it.

So what do you think about the. The third string quarterback situation in Cleveland? And I'm not.

I can't say I'm very much up to date with it.

Okay, well, let me. Let me put you on Game. It's not Shador, is it? Dijon Bailey Zappy. Oh, Bailey Zappy is the third string quarterback now. So Shador is not getting any. He's not even really practicing with the team.

I think desean might play this year. No, I think the Sean might play this year.

No. Maybe in Pittsburgh.

No, I think the Sean's gonna play this year.

Terrible towel.

I wish I could bet it on DraftKings. I wonder if we can bet it. Maybe they can find the line. Will DeSean Watson play a snap this year?

If he wanted to, do you think they'd play him?

I think he wants to. I think it's the other way around. Will they play him like, I think he. I think he's might just show up to the facility one day being like.

Ready, I'm ready to go. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But even if he did that, I don't think they'd play him.

I think they might like. Jimmy Hasm's not a smart guy, Kevin.

That's. Well, he's a rich guy.

He's a rich guy. So he thinks he's smart, but he's not smart.

Stefanski's got enough on his hands right now.

But it's not. I. I don't know if Stefanski was. Is the one who gets to decide. I think it's desean comes in and it's like, hey, I'm ready to go. Yeah, Jimmy Hasm might be like, hey, we're paying him this money. I want to see what I got.

He might, I don't know. Is there insurance policy on them? Like, is it a hundred, like, rocks? I guess it would have to be rock solid, guaranteed for injury.

Yeah.

Otherwise it would have tried to claim it by now.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, Stefanski's never been owned too.

Oh, wow.

He's been one and one, I think every season that he's coached.

Okay, so the Browns are going to win. I don't know if the Browns are going to win. Do you like the Browns, Hank? Plus 11 and a half. Yeah. Now, this was reminder. This happened last year. Exact same thing, basically for the Ravens, they lose week one in a heartbreaking fashion. Isaiah likely's foot too big for the end zone against Kansas City opening night, Week two Raiders.

Yep.

No way they can lose this minshew. They were killing him in the first half, and then they lost it. Yep. Not saying it's going to happen again. Maybe that actually speaks to the opposite of. Of John Harbaugh basically being able to say to the guys, like, hey, this. We've been here before and you fucked this up before. Like, everyone would be ready. I do think the Browns defense, though, can keep him in this game a little bit.

But Lamar Jackson will not be suspended for this game.

He was going to be.

No. The. The NFL said, well, we're not going to discipline him for this game. For shoving the fan.

Yeah.

That shoved him. I think. I think all parties involved handled it well. I think that the Bills, they got the guy out of the stadium. I think he's banned from attending Bills games for the rest of the year.

All NFL games, which. That if you're. If you live in Buffalo and you're a Bills fan and they say you can't go to the games, that is like, death penalty is. Is better.

It's like exiling you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Lamar, I think he hit. He's like, yeah, he didn't, like, make it a soapbox issue where he's like, fans and. And players have a real problem on our hands we need to address. He was just like, he didn't LeBron it. No, he didn't LeBron at all. He was just like, yeah, things got heated.

Yeah.

And it's fine. And we moved on. And he's been addressed internally. Lamar Jackson addressed internally by the Ravens.

We should make that a meme. Lamar Jackson's cool. With little physical contact with the fan, LeBron James gets told he stinks, gets the fan kicked out. Sick league, sickly.

Did you see what Stefanski said about Joel Betonio?

No.

They're returning offensive lineman. They asked Betonio why he came back to play this year, and he's like, you know, I want to play another season for Kevin Stefanski, Great coach, blah, blah, blah. Stefanski said, actually, Joel came back because we put a golf simulator in upstairs.

Yeah.

It's very late. I think we have a few people that just show up at the office because we have a golf simulator.

Yeah. If you took away golf simulator and ice Cream machine. What did you say, like five to 10 people wouldn't show up every day?

I think Stefanski, if he's a smart guy, he put in the golf simulator so he can take away the golf simulator.

Oh, yeah.

And then he'll put it back in as a reward later.

Oh, yeah. All right, late games. We got three reminder. There's two that are earlier kicks, so be ready for that. Broncos at Colts. Colts plus one and a half over under 42 and a half. This is my do you believe Game of the week. Because you got to basically say, hey, listen, if you could play the Dolphins every week, you probably go undefeated. Now the Colts have to play a real defense. Do you believe in Daniel Jones and do you kind of believe in Bo Nix because he looked bad?

I'm a believer, but I also believe in Indiana Jones. Shout out. Boomer. I think the Colts are going to make the playoffs this year, I'll tell you that much.

I don't.

I could see it looking at their schedule. Maybe I'm jumping the gun on this one, too, but they don't have a hard schedule and Daniel Jones looked awesome. I don't think he's going to play that good in every game, but I think he's going to be good enough to win a majority of their games if he stays healthy. By the way, don't apologize for jumping the gun, okay? I.

Everyone should jump the gun, all right? That's the whole reason we watch these games. We like to overreact. We like to just have doom is, you know, like one loss feels like the world's falling. One win means you're going to win the Super Bowl. This is how you. You do it.

Let the.

Let the actual players and coaching staffs stay level and do the whole, like, you're only good is this week one and, oh, this week, let all the fans. If you win a game, you're the best team in the world. If you lose a game, you're sucking, you'll never win again.

So, yeah, it's going to be interesting playing at home again. They get to run it back. I don't know if they're going to go with the roof open for Ursay again. I would do it again if I were the Colts. You only get so many of these games each season.

I would do. If I were the Colts, I would. I would have. Obviously, week one, you have to have it all the way open. Maybe each home game you close it a little bit more.

That's. That's beautiful.

And then, like the last home Game of the season. It's like there's a little slit and he can watch through it and it's.

I like that.

That's good.

Who would win? So you were talking about the Jaguars and the Bengals earlier. Who would win a Bronco or a Colt?

I tried to look it up. I think a Colts faster.

Is it colt?

Is it young?

Is it neutered, though, or is it intact?

I think it Colts a young horse.

And then a Broncos wild.

Yeah, Bronco like, kicks.

So I think a Bronco, right?

Well, no, in terms of speed, because you'd obviously race him. You wouldn't fight him.

A young male horse under the age of four.

Yes. So a cult would win in a.

Race, but a Bronco would beat up a colt.

Yeah. Yes.

Okay.

And also a colt versus a Bronco. Is there. I mean, is a Colt and a Mustang the same thing?

I think a mustang might be wild too.

Okay. Because a Mustang would obviously be the Bronco in a race.

And O.J. had a Colt 45 inside his Bronco.

Correct.

Got it.

Correct. Correct. Mustang is a free roaming horse. Okay. So not the same thing. That was horse talk.

That was horse talk. We do have tickets for the Colts game. Got two free tickets. To a Colts fan. I had two ideas for who we should give it to. One, just the listener who looks the most like Daniel Jones that lives in the Indianapolis area that can make it to the game. I bet there's probably hundreds of them.

Yep.

And then also just the funniest picture of your.

I don't want to do that.

Yeah.

Daniel Jones one for sure.

Okay.

All right.

Good decision. Good producing, Max. So if you look like Daniel Jones, if you're just a white guy in a button up, we'll make the call.

Okay.

Tag memes.

You also just do anyone who owns a horse.

That's true. Yeah.

You own a horse. Just take a picture of you on your horse.

Yeah. If you with a Colts jersey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No.

And do not send pictures of your shit out memes.

Do not send your shit. Please don't.

Don't do that.

All right. Panthers of cardinals. Cardinals minus six and a half over under 40. Three and a half. I want to take the Panthers, but I don't think I can do it. I don't think I'm man enough to take the Panthers.

Oh, I am.

You are?

I am. You, Hank, big time.

It's week two. You got to take some shots.

Yep.

I already have enough shots on the board. I have the Giants, I have the Jets, I have the Bears. I The Titans. I don't think. I think I have to stop at some point.

I'm going to take a shot on the Panthers.

I. The Panthers stay.

This is. This is a huge game for my people. Bryce Young versus Kyler Murray.

Yes.

This is the shortest matchup that we've ever had in the history of the NFL.

Damn.

Actually, it's gotta be Doug.

Did Doug Flutie ever play, like.

Max? Why are you shaking your head? Like, because people are taller now than.

They used to be.

You think that we had like five, eight and five, nine quarterbacks facing off against each other back in the 80s, probably. No, it's always been a tall position.

But, like, tall now.

Like, it's less relative.

It's not like it was the 1800s or the 1700s. Max. It's not like people couldn't get nutrients.

The football.

Football's been played for a while. Okay. If you can show me that there's been a shorter matchup.

Yeah.

Two quarterbacks. I'll consider getting the link. The limb lengthening surgery.

I do think PFT might be right here. I don't know what other.

No, Zach. Zach found. Found one.

Oh, already? Oh, wait, this.

Is this not NFL, Zach?

Yeah. I mean, college doesn't count.

College doesn't count.

And Rice. I know, right?

Now this says NFL history.

Rice used to have a running back that was 4, 9 they played last year.

And it was Eddie LeBaron and Davey.

O', Brien, both listed at 5, 7. Oh, wait.

I don't know if they ever played.

Against each other, though. Yeah.

So you never played again?

They already played last year. Yeah.

It's gonna be the most adorable post game jersey swap. Can't wait for it.

P.J. walker's 5 11. Russell Wilson's 5 11. Ian Book is 6ft. I didn't realize. Chase Daniel's only 6ft. I don't know why I didn't think that. Yeah. I'm going to probably take the Cardinals and you guys are probably going to be right. All right. Last game.

To me, this is the prime example. I know it's not a home game for the Panthers, but. But it's the prime example of the Panthers look really bad. Yeah, Cardinals, they looked okay. They didn't beat the shit out of the Saints. But also like, Kyler looked. He looked pretty good.

My only concern is I don't know where the Panthers pass rushes and are going to come from. And if Kyler has time. That's like when Kyler just. When he just bounces around in the bat in. In the Pocket and just can do everything. Could be a Kyler mega day.

Mega day.

Mega day for Kyler. That might be how I bet it.

Like double xp.

Kyler having a mega day.

Okay.

All right. Last afternoon game. Eagles at Chiefs max. Where are we at? Chiefs plus one and a half over. Under is 46 and a half. How are you feeling?

I feel good.

Must win. No, can't lose.

Can't lose.

Can't lose.

Why is it can't lose? Because you can't.

You can't lose any of your games.

Well, you can't. You can definitely lose some of your games.

Yeah, but you don't. You don't know what's gonna happen after you lose.

Well, yeah, you get back on the flight and you go home and you're like, damn, shouldn't have lost.

Yeah.

You can't lose it, though.

Yeah.

Have the Chiefs become like a division rival for you guys? You guys blame all the time. We do. Nick Sirianni. This is fifth year, right? Yeah.

And there's the ant. There's the Andy Reid aspect of it.

As well, I think. I think Sirianni is coached against the Chiefs every single year that he's been a head coach.

I still don't, like, hate the Chiefs like I hate the other teams in the NFC East.

So now, like, for some reason, like.

The Patriot, I still hate the Patriots more than I.

That could just because of.

Be because of Hank, but I know. I think it's the Boston aspect of it. I still hate the Patriots more than I hate the Chiefs.

But we just play the Chiefs a lot now. That's also because you just beat him in a Super Bowl.

That's true. I was more angry with them after.

They lost two more.

Yeah. If you also lost. We also lost to the Patriots.

If you had lost the Chiefs this last super bowl, you would hate the Chiefs if you lost.

Yeah.

If we lost two Super Bowls to them.

Yeah. And we just beat the absolute out of them. You did.

Yeah.

You had a hard time even putting that yourself in that mind space right there. Yeah. We were like, if we had lost to the cheat. What do you mean if we had lost the Chiefs.

We beat them so badly that you beat the out.

We did. We did.

It was awesome. I think Chiefs are going to win.

This game, so I'm. I'm worried about the Chiefs. I've thought about it more this week. Who do they have to throw the ball to Downfield?

Xavier Worthy is.

Was a limited participant in practice, so he might play.

He might play.

But I've Heard that the shoulder, like he popped it out, right? Is it separated or dislocated?

I don't know those details. I just know that he was on the field today.

He's going to need surgery at some point and if he's. If he's put the surgery off, his shoulder is going to get worse and worse and worse, which is not good for the Chiefs offense.

Hollywood Brown. Yeah, I think it.

I think it's a lot on if.

Xavier worthy plays because that'll help our.

Secondary immensely if there's one less guy.

That Adore Jackson can get burned by.

Because Adore Jackson is still.

Is still starting a corner.

I am just simply taking it because The Chiefs are 21 and 4 straight up off a loss with Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes. And I agree. Like, it's going to be ugly. The under might actually be the play in this game. It's going to be ugly because I don't think the Eagles. The Eagles pass game did not look that good. Would you agree, Max? I mean, the second half, it was nothing.

Well, the second half, A.J.

Brown, I don't know.

They moved the ball at will in.

The first half whenever they wanted to, so they didn't need to pass it.

Downfield because they were just. There was no stop stopping what they were doing.

Yeah. I'm just taking. It's like no disrespect to the Eagles. I'm just taking the Chiefs because I just can't imagine them starting 0 and 2. That's a visualization game. Like, close your eyes. Chiefs start owing to. I can't see it.

And you're not gonna. You're not gonna call for Sirianni to be fired if you lose.

I will.

I will not call for Sirianna to.

Be fired if we lose. AJ Brown said, maybe if the Chiefs.

Lose this game, I'm going to. I'm. I'm definitely going to be like, the Chiefs are in trouble.

Yeah.

Because this is kind of the. And they don't have an easy schedule. Pinky team. No. Because I. No way. I have to do one after this week. But here's the problem. Remember last year I didn't know because I can't make the argument they.

Right, right, right, right, right, right.

Lions I could do.

Yep.

Last year, remember, I got to decide between the Rams and the Ravens. And I was honest with it. I was like, I think the Ravens could win the Super Bowl. I can't confidently say they can't win the Super Bowl. I think I'd be in the same Spot with the Chiefs. Yeah, like the Chiefs. Like, I'm not going to be like, the Chiefs can't win the super bowl if they start owing to. That would be crazy.

If the Lions would be a good one.

Let's look at pinky teams real quick.

Because if the Bears beat them because. So we're looking at the Browns, the Lions.

Browns can't count.

The Seahawks, Ravens.

Seahawks can count. The Texas Ravens, I think can win the Super Bowl.

Texans, maybe.

It was Falcons.

Rams last year, by the way.

Not Rams. Ravens. Were the Ravens owing to.

They were.

Right?

That was.

Yeah, yeah. You just said they lost to the Ravens.

Yeah, and I said. I. I thought it was because Kirk Cousins and the Rams. No, The Ravens were 0 and 2 last year. Did they not? But it was.

It was Falcons.

Right. But I said because the Ravens can't even be in the conversation because I think they can win the Super Bowl. Like, I'm not going to get crazy.

Could be the Jets.

Jets can't count.

Come on. Because you.

Yeah, yeah. Falcons can count. Texans can count. Texans for sure can count. It's going to be between the Falcons, Texans, Seahawks. I think. I think those are the realistic teams that, like, you could have made the argument someone was betting them to win the Super Bowl. Even if.

And I think the Texans would be the. Probably the best pick of those because they had the most super bowl aspirations before the season.

And I've done the Texans before.

Yeah.

And they actually gave me my biggest scare when they won nine in a row.

Yep.

So max prediction on this game.

I think we're gonna.

I think we're gonna win. I think it's gonna be a dog fight. I do like. I like the under.

I think that.

That you're right with that.

Yeah.

I think it's going to be not.

What everyone is hoping for sort of.

Game, but I think Jalen hurts gets it done.

Well, these also are both. Both these teams are the quintessential. If they have a lead at halftime, they're just going to try to run the clock out.

Also cleanup from last week. We recorded early Tuesday morning about Tank Bigsby will ship the Eagles backup running back. Injury details came out after we recorded.

So he's out. Ah. So Howie wasn't getting crazy. Yeah.

So that made more sense.

Great job, Howie. Great job, Howie. Yeah. Under 46 and a half. I hate betting unders. Okay. Last game, Falcons, Vikings. Also a national championship rematch.

Yes.

Michael Pennix versus J.J. mcCarthy. I like the Falcons here. I don't know how. I just do.

So the stat on McCarthy. He has not lost a regular season game as a starter since October 26, 2019. Who do you lose to? That's a long time. That's in high school.

Rams.

Oh, no, it was in high school.

That must have been a bad game.

It was a bad game.

Really bad game.

Yeah. Jay. I love how JJ McCarthy is making people angry because he looked so bad and then he wins, and he looks so good when he wins and the team loves him and he's maybe gonna have a baby. Yeah, that's going to be a big X factor for me. I'm gonna wait until I see confirmation. How fast do you think you could get the. The senior added to the nameplate? Like, if he names overnight, if he names his baby JJ McCarthy Jr and then he's now senior. And that happens on, like, Friday. You think on Saturday they'll get the S and the R shipped in? Yeah, I think. I think they do.

I would agree. Quarterback, I really want. I don't know if this person exists, but tweet us if it does. The NFL guy who doesn't watch any college football. And you have to. This has to happen naturally. You are getting upset about J.J. mcCarthy.

Naturally.

So maybe this is something for, you know, next week or the week after. You're getting upset about J.J. mcCarthy, naturally. And then you go and you look up his college stats and you're like, what the fuck? He's been doing this for a long time. I want to see. I want to talk to that guy. Like, you look up the Penn state game from 2023, when he threw, like eight passes total, not one pass in the second half.

I was at that game. Worst, worst sporting event I've ever been to in my entire life.

Because you know that there are these people that exist that don't watch any college football, Hank, and, like, they aren't familiar with J.J. mcCarthy's game. They're going to get mad about J.J. mcCarthy, not even realizing, like, we've been doing this for a while. There's been the discourse. I've always thought J.J. mcCarthy's good, and I haven't really understood the. I understand the handoff merchant stuff, but I think he's good. But there's a whole group of people that hate him and have hated him for a long time and thought that he sucks and just basically was on a super team.

He's been really good at what he's been asked to do. Yeah, he just has never been asked to do that much. We do have an update from Jake Marsh regarding score Gummy.

Oh, please.

He said could very well be a Ravens fan. We don't root for teams as Gami fans. We root for numbers. Either that or he fell asleep, which is a tough look as well. That one doesn't hold water for me because he should have then updated the GAMI the next morning.

Right.

And if he is, they didn't post the final score.

Right. If he's a Ravens fan, I think Gami's over.

Yeah. The integrity.

You can't root. You have to root for the gami.

We root for numbers. Root for numbers in the GAMI community.

The game is irrelevant.

Yep.

All right. Should we do our touchdown parlay and then we will get to our picks and we also have a fantasy minute from Jerry o', Connell, by the way. Heard some people saying they wanted fantasy fuck boys. We will mix in fantasy lads. Maybe one fuck boys here and there. It's not fully, fully dead. We're just trying new things. It's going to be like, if you need to write it down, I'd say like four to five lads or fuck boys this year.

And they're going to be special.

And they will be special. They'll make it even better. So we're going to do it. All right, let's do our TD parlay. DraftKings. Don't let one bad leg haunt your parlay. Parlay parlays turn into payouts and now even near misses won't haunt your bet. The NFL season is here in DraftKings sportsbook. And official sports betting partner of the NFL is rewriting the rules with Ghost Leg. New game changing promotion that turns close calls into cold, hard cash. Best of all, it's available to all DraftKings customers. Here's how it works. Build any three plus leg pregame NFL parlay on Sunday. Apply your Ghost Leg token and if one leg loses, DraftKings makes it vanish like it never existed and pays you out in cash for the rest. Last season, over 30 million parlays were lost by a single leg. This year, Ghost Leg gives those busted bets a second Life. Download the DraftKing Sportsbook app. Use code TAKE. That's code TAKE to unlock Ghost Leg, the promotion that makes one bad leg disappear and pays you out in real cash. Ghost your losses. Get your payout in partnership with DraftKing Sportsbook. The crown is yours. Gambling problem.

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Out in cash based on odds when the bet was placed.

See terms@sportsbook.draftkings.com promos okay, boys, we got to win this. Did we hit any of them? I did. Good for you. Going back to the well, what did you hit?

J.K. dobbins.

What was mine? I bet it. I just don't remember it. Jameer gives. Oh, I bet you Golden.

Golden.

Yeah, that was probably stupid for a rookie. Okay, go ahead.

J.K. dobbins again.

J.K. dobbyn. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to leave us one. Can I leave us one?

What do you mean?

I'm going to do Jordan Mason. I'm a leave us one on Sunday night. Okay, so we maybe hit the first two, and then we just have a Sunday night that we're.

That actually works perfectly because mine is pretty chalky.

Okay.

Jalen hurts.

Okay, can we put those together, Max, and tell us what it is in the DraftKings sportsbook?

Getting your first win is important in this.

Yes, yes. And like having one that we just have left over that we can just root for really hard. It's kind of fun.

Yep.

Leaves yourself. It's like leaving yourself a last bite, last taste. All right, we're looking right now. Plus 310. We're going to add Jalen Hurts. Looks like six to one.

I love that.

Okay, so go to the DraftKings sportsbook reminder. We're doing these in the afternoon, so once the early games finish, we'll be right there. Ride with us. We're all betting it, and let's win this one. All right, Picks who's up first. What are the. What are the scores? Remember, we're due, like, if you win, it's one point. If you tie, it's. If you push, it's a half a point. Half a point.

Let me pull it up.

I believe Hank went 2 0. So Hank has two points. I scroll past it, you might have.

Max is 2 0.

Nope, nope. I won.

Max is 1 and 1.

Everyone is 11 except.

PFT's 0 and 2. Hank's 2 0.

Okay, so 22 points for Hank. No points for PFT. Max memes Zach and I have one point. Who's up first? I believe I am. I'm going to go with the Chargers minus three. Okay, Chargers minus three. Remember, this is for a nipple piercing and a Prince Albert. Cool. Zach's face. Zach just looks. Wait, you don't want to get what?

I just don't remember us. We could have. We could have fully cemented that. I just might have missed it.

The Prince Albert. Yeah, the Prince Albert part. Yeah. And you got to get the chain connecting the two.

Listen, I'm fine with the Prince Albert. The nipple piercing, if you're stressed out. If you're in, I'm in.

So the nipple piercing, I'm also.

But the Prince Albert, you're cool because.

I got four of them.

I, I honestly. That's a cock ring. It's a cock piercing.

Oh, I didn't know that was the thing either.

I don't know.

We're not doing a Prince Albert. All right, more on board for the Prince Albert. Yeah, way too on board for the Prince Albert.

I would maybe like ears pierced for a month.

Well, that'd be funny. That actually would be good. But then the holes don't fill up, right?

No, they. They will.

Oh, I will go Jaguars plus three.

And a half against the Bengals.

Zach, I would like to take the Commanders plus three.

I can't get to it Thursday night. Thursday night. Oh, thank you. No worries. I would then. Then I would like to take the jets plus six and a half.

Okay. My man. Pft.

One of mine got picked, so I'm gonna take the under in Rams, Titans.

That's a good pick.

41 and a half.

That's a really good pick.

Thank you.

I'm going to take. You know what? I'm gonna take the Texans minus two and a half Monday Night Football.

I was laughing. Scoffed at last week when I took my over under.

It was the ugliest one on the board. I'm gonna go back to the well and take over 40 and a half in 49ers saints. That's just you not be able to quit Mac Jones.

We're scoffed at. That's.

That's a Mac Jones Spencer Rattler shootout.

And then I'm going to take the Bears plus six.

Okay. All right. So I have my. I have to take a. What I take. Oh, has anyone taken the Jags? Bengals over?

No, I just took the Jags.

Give it to me.

There you go.

Bengals over.

I like that pick.

I believe it is 48 and a half.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Has anybody taken the Cowboys minus five and a half. Nope.

All you.

I will take the Cowboys minus five and a half.

I would.

I would like to take the Giants Cowboys game for under 44 and a half.

Okay, sold. Have it. I am going to take the jets.

Bills over 46 and a half.

It'll be fun.

That's a fun one.

Yep, it's possible.

Fun one.

Jets offense looks good. Bill's defense look terrible.

Bills are the Bills. You know.

I'm gonna go Browns Ravens over 45 and a half.

I. Raven's gonna put 46 by themselves.

Wow.

I. I like that one.

You don't think Joe Flacco is going to come out like shot out of a cannon. He will put three touchdowns. Okay, so that's three touchdowns, 300 yards. He's gonna hit the over by. By like 20 points. Yeah. Take it at 60. Okay, easy.

Okay, boys, let's. We got. We got Jerry's fantasy minute now. We have a problem. We told Jerry to give us his fantasy minute. It's a:42.

I think we cut off in a minute.

No. Well, here's the thing though.

You're. You're enabling him.

No, no, no, no, no.

Let me finish.

Knowing Jerry o' Connell like we do, he's always so good at the end of the video. I think we watched the first 17 seconds and then the last 43 seconds.

So we skipped the middle.

Yeah. Are you okay with that?

I'm okay with it. I don't know if he's going to get us copyright strike though.

He probably. Listen, we just won't know what happened in the middle too, so. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. All right, I'm down.

So at 17 seconds, let's skip to the last 43 seconds. Here's Jerry. I think he doesn't start. Let's save as many seconds as we can. Right?

So let's.

What is this car? It's sick.

Beautiful.

Let's start four seconds in. So we save four seconds. All right. Yeah.

Talking shit about the car.

All right.

So that's like a.

That's like a 21, $300,000 car. Get to 21 seconds and then skip to a minute. Why can't he fix his driveway?

All right, ready?

Somebody stole his purse.

You ready?

Yes. Someone did steal Jerry's purse. Please give it back. Hey, what's up? Welcome to Fantasy Boys. I want to apologize to all the awls. I wasn't trying to replace fantasy boys. I got a message from Big cat saying send me a one minute video about our fantasy team.

And I stop.

Also we're gonna strike for the music playing. I don't. I don't think that was. I have no idea what kind of music. All right, here we go. Here's the. Here's the last 42 seconds. He's moving up in the ranks, and.

He'S going to be a great wide receiver.

JJ As a backup qb, he's also moving up. Hope everybody got Chris Boswell. He's a sick kicker. Sick kicker.

What else? Let's stream.

Let's stream the Arizona Cardinals, and let's stream the San Francisco 49ers because Carolina and.

And New Orleans sucks.

Let's stream their defenses. Also, let's try and pick up Ollie.

Gordon because things are falling apart in.

Miami, and I think he's gonna be the RB one.

All right, that's it.

Again, sorry about the change. Awls. Oh, I lost my song here.

All right, wait. So now we owe him, what, four.

Seconds from the middle four seconds. Because he tried to copyright us there. So just. Just random four seconds.

Four seconds. Yeah.

Let's go from 30 to 34.

Does that sound good?

Yeah, perfect. Sometimes things change.

Okay.

Sometimes your mommy forgets. Oh, and yes, Fantasy boys will return several times this year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is. I mean, Jerry's. This was great. The Jerry fantasy minute. When we told him he has to do a minute, and then he said, There's a minute 45, and we got to just choose next week, he's going to send us, like, seven minutes. We're just going to have to choose what to play.

Yeah. I learned a lot from it, though.

I did, too. Ollie Gordon, stream the Cardinals defense.

What does that mean?

Chris Boswell.

I don't know. I don't know what stream means in these. In this context also, how do you get glasses that, like, match the car perfectly?

Yeah.

And the head is sick.

Yeah.

The headphones, the glasses in the car, all.

Matt, that's a sick car. The glasses come with the car.

Memes is right. How does he not fix his driveway? Marvel money. Marvel money. Marvel money. Camp bar, so money. Camp bar, so money. That's exactly what it is. That's a camp barstool car right there. Paid him $4 million.

That could have been Jeff D. Lo's.

$4 million to just drink a Mountain Dew with the dude.

Boom.

Okay, we got an awesome interview. Our good friend Andrew Santino in studio. We talk everything with him. Great, great time. He's one of our favorite guests to have in person. He's got a new special out now, so go check it out and we get into all of it with him.

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Okay. We now welcome on a very, very, very special guest. Third time.

Third time. I think it's the third time's a charm.

Third time. That's Andrew Santino's voice, one of our good friends. He is in studio. We want to talk about your new special that is out today as we're airing this. But you know we have the most important question we have to ask.

What is you.

You can't think of what it could be?

I've got one.

I. It's the most important. It's the question that we have to ask.

I don't know, dude.

Are you going to the wedding?

I doubt it.

Really? You're not going to Taylor Swift and killer Travs?

I highly doubt it. Dude. I don't think I got that invite. You know she's controlling that guest list. Yeah, but I'm not on that list.

You don't think so?

Oh, dude, you and kill a Trav. I. Dude, Trav's my boy. I love him to death. I highly doubt. Look, I will say this. I played golf with my old man two days ago, and I. We FaceTimed him. And to say congrats and, you know, look, maybe I. Maybe I'll catch a bachelor party invite.

Wait, you.

Maybe.

Well, I mean, if you get. I guess they could do like, you.

Could do bachelor, not the wedding.

I know.

It's actually a great place to be preferred if I'm.

Yes, agree.

Rather do batch and no wedding. I don't want to do the weddings. I don't want to do weddings in general anymore. So if you can give me the bachelor party without the wedding.

I've always said the best. The best place to be as a friend is to be like the. The eighth best friend. So your bachelor party, but nothing to do with the wedding.

It's great.

You don't have to be an usher. The usher is always so pathetic when they throw you usher.

Yeah, yeah.

They're like, oh, yeah, why don't you be the usher?

Like, dude, I don't want to do that.

I don't want.

It's work. I have to go to work.

Yeah.

I thought I was going to party.

Yeah, you stand up for like an hour and you pass out pamphlets, and then you sit down and you're like, okay, I did my job. But, yeah, I'd rather go to a wedding where I can just get drunk as early as possible before the ceremony.

Especially grown up. Up with so many Catholics in our life. Like Catholic weddings, dude, the churches are always hot. Forever nine hours long.

Yeah.

You got to meet a thousand people, and then you. And then by the time you black out, you are going to say something foul to somebody's hand.

Right.

Just gonna happen.

Right? And. And. And being the usher, it's such a slap in the face. Like, you didn't make the cut. Yeah, you did. You're on the practice squad.

I don't want to do that.

Yeah, just. Just cut me, dude.

Put me back in the locker room.

Yeah.

Put me on waivers. Let us know. Maybe.

Maybe bachelor party. We'll see.

So, wait, if you FaceTimed him on the day it was announced?

Well, it happened much earlier, but.

Oh.

Did you know it happened there?

I think so.

Like, you're getting invited, dude.

No, no, no, no.

There's like, five people that knew.

No, we spoke. Him and I spoke when I had last saw him, and he said he was wanting to do it when we. We had golf together. In, like, April or May. And, yeah, he was. Said he was doing it, but he didn't say. Well, I mean, you know, it wasn't.

Yeah. Yeah.

But I don't Over. I don't pry. It's like that thing about, you know, the memes online where women are like, you golf with your buddy. Like, what happened with his divorce is, like, we didn't talk about. No, it's like, you were there for four. I was like, yeah, we don't. That's so. Like, he. He's brought something up about it, and then I never asked again. I mean, I don't know, dude. I don't. Not saying I don't care, but I don't. It's not what I'm. I'm stoked. I hope it's. Yeah, but it's awesome. I. But I'm not gonna be like, what day?

Doing it.

What's going on? No, but we just FaceTimed him to say congrats, and he said, what's up? To my pops. Which, you know.

Yeah, that's cool.

Yeah. My dad was like, when am I going? Do I get an invite? I was actually. Be funnier if he went.

I didn't.

Yeah.

I think she's gonna have, like, maybe a handful of his rowdy friends that she'll allow him to invite. Like, you get six of the rowdy boys.

Well, he's got a lot of dogs from. From Ohio that. That he's loyal to the foil on. That will be there for sure. But they grew up with him and everything, you know, I'm an adult friend. That's a different.

Yeah, adult friends.

Yeah, adult friends are different. We met later in life. And I'm sure when they're going down the list, she'll get to Santino and be like, I don't know, dude.

How funny was his new special?

Yeah. Was he good?

Yeah.

Is he funny? We'll watch it.

Yeah.

So turn on Hulu now. Watch it and judge, and maybe we'll see. But that is going back real fast to this whole, like, the Catholic thing. It reminded me my dad went to a funeral. Sorry, Awake. Yesterday. And went to the funeral today. And I'm like, we gotta double down.

Can we just do one or the other?

Yeah, we just pick one of these things. We don't have to do both.

That's actually showing too much respect.

It's way too much.

Yeah.

Like, you go to show your respects.

You don't really.

You're kind of showboating it.

Yeah.

But he did.

There is free food he is excited.

Yeah.

Drinks.

He knows what's coming.

Yeah. By the way, we did a Mount Rushmore a couple weeks ago about like, things that girls hate about guys. And we talked about the whole, like going on a trip and coming back with nothing. And I, I mentioned that I've been doing because my wife always hates that. Like, I'll just be like, I don't know how his job is. I don't know what his kids names are at the end of a trip. Because you go on a lot of golf trips.

Yeah.

I literally sit my friends down. I'm like, give me two facts. Just give me two facts I can bring back. Like, we don't have to have a conversation about it. Just give me two facts. My wife just hand me two facts.

My wife finds out about stuff when we get together with groups of people and I talk about it.

Yes.

She'll be like, when did that happen? I'm like, that was. I told you with the, when I was out there when I was down at Big Cedar. And she's like, you did not say that. But I'm glad I'm hearing it now as you speak to other people, because that's your partner. By the time you get home, you're like, I don't want to talk about what happened.

And I thought I did.

Yeah, I thought I meant I did.

Yeah, that counts.

Yeah, that counts. It's. Yeah. No, I don't. The boys golf trips, I've done a bunch and almost nothing constructive gets done. Yeah, almost nothing.

When you do, when you do the golf trips, do you split up, like into teams? Do you make. Because I've got some friends that do that every year and they make it like a Ryder cup where they have like polos that they've made for their own teams and they take it like really, really seriously. And there's like an annual event that they do. Or you just go and play.

No, we don't do the shirts. We talked about that, the shirts thing. We don't do the shirts with the boys trip. We do, we do divide it. We do divide the teams up though. But the teams are, are. Because there's handicaps, the teams are chosen at random. If there wasn't handicaps, you'd have to choose a player, B player, C player. You know what I mean? Yeah, but we just do handicaps. So you're. It's, it's, it works out to be fair almost every single time. But the problem is if someone's getting smushed all week, the, the house at night, Gets a little weird.

Oh, yeah.

And the fights break out. You know, the arguments. And then, you know, like, we went to Bandon and I'm not going to mention any. Any of the friends name. I mean, no one would know anyway. But we went to Bannon a couple of guys wanted to go to. Have you guys been to Bannon Dunes?

No. No.

All right. And there's a little town there called Coos Bay. And Coos Bay has a strip club. Shout out to the Bachelor's Inn. God bless you guys. It's about as big as this room. And this is the F squad dog. This is. This is the toughest of tough. You look at this place online, it's really sad.

Yeah.

It'll break your soul. There was one girl there with wooden teeth. A girl had. A girl had on it, like what I think was a pacemaker or something on the. Something exposed on the outside of her skin. Lovely people, lovely drinks. Wooden teeth, big drinks.

What year is this?

Yes.

I don't even know.

1748.

Yeah.

Where can you find a guy to make.

She had some whiskey in her peg leg.

Her teeth looked like they could be made of a different material.

Yeah.

Okay. Yeah.

Can we guess who was on the trip?

No. No. You'll never know. This is just. But this just boys that.

Jason Bateman.

No, no, no, no. These are just boys that I grew up. These are college boys. These are college did tell us you.

Went to band with them.

I did go with those. That was. That was very fun. Different trip.

Yeah.

See, that's. That's like. They're all good boys. You know what I mean? Like, we're having a couple of sodas. Half of the guys didn't drink. And then you go to bed.

But the golf. Yeah.

The college boys.

Yeah. Then you got to get. You got to let loose.

Oh, my buddy Miller didn't wake up, like six minutes before the tee time. Still went out. Shot like 79. That's those guys that do that and blow my mind.

Oh, it's the best.

I need to stretch a little. No, he'll wake up. Go. Still play great golf.

Hit it straight off the first box. Yeah.

What are your takes? About the. About the matching shirts. You said that you and Big Cat had a con.

We chatted about the matching shirts thing. Now here's the deal. My dad does a tournament every year, and he's. This will be his 19th year. Tomorrow we're doing it, and it's. It's him. So for pops, he wants me. We'll. I'll do Tradition. It's for Pops.

Yeah.

But for the boys, when you're going on a boys trip. Absolutely not. Unequivocally. Absolutely not. For dad. It's dad. It's his rules. He wants it his way, so I'll do whatever he wants. But with the boys, I think it's so cornball, I can't do that.

Yeah. And it also, like, tradition does. Like, if. If it's 19 years, he's been doing.

It since the jump, you get grandfathered in. And then what I did was, because I stole this idea from. From Charlie Day. Charlie and his boys have a jacket. They play for a jacket every year, him and his Rhode island boys. And I was like, I want to do a jacket for us. So I went and got four identical nice jackets, and I pressed on my dad's crest on the chest, and I won the last two years.

I'm hoping you bought the jacket for yourself.

Yeah. 100. There's one that fits me literally perfectly. And the others are triple X. Yeah, they are.

Yeah. If you. Have you gotten better at golf?

I'm better than I. I'm better than I've ever been, but I have. I slide. You know what I mean? There's. Yeah, there's. There's weeks or where I'm. I slide into absolute. And it's remarkable how I'm. I can't believe I can't play, but I. I think I. When I really started playing golf in my late 20s, early 30s, I think I started at, like, a. I mean, I think I was averaging probably like, a 12 or 14 handicap, and now I'm down to like, a 5 or a 6 or something like this.

That's pretty good.

Yeah, I got. I got much better. Yeah. But I mean, there's days where I shoot 80, and there's days where I shoot 74.

So I couldn't tell if you said 80, like it was a good thing or a bad thing right there. I was like, wait, is that.

Well, 80 is good. But, I mean, there's days when I'm not breaking 80, and there's Mo. And then there's days where I'm just. I'll have a week where. A week or two where I'm just smooth. 74. 75, you know?

Yeah. Yeah.

All right, so your new special, White Noise.

White Noise.

Out on Hulu.

Out on Hulu right now.

So what I. I've seen a lot of comedians just do the direct YouTube thing.

Yeah.

Sell it. Was this a process that, like. Because I assume when you go to Hulu and Disney, they might have notes. How did that work out?

Yeah, they had a couple of notes for sure. They definitely. You know what's so funny is like. Like, Netflix doesn't say a word. Netflix doesn't care what you do. I mean, after Chappelle and the trans stuff, they were like, well, everything has to be able to be. We're good now.

Yeah.

Like, if he does that, you're not. They're not going to tell somebody else. But yeah, Disney. Disney is still Disney at the end of the day. And they, you know. Yeah, they. They came to me. There's actually a couple of jokes in the special about Disney adults, and they did not like those at all.

Did they? Did you take them out?

We had to peel off. We had to peel off a little bit of something on one side of one joke and then another piece of a joke that wouldn't have fit. We had to move. But they didn't like the Disney. The attack on the.

Do you want to do it now?

Yeah. You want me to?

I mean, it is crazy. Disney adults are crazy.

I mean, can we all not agree that this isn't like, even Disney? It's like, you don't think.

Right?

You don't think. What I'm saying is, Val, basically what the joke is, and you'll see it in the special, but the full joke is, I say that my buddy ep, my buddy EP is a grown adult black male, and he came over to my house in a Disney jacket, but nobody cares. Like, when a grown adult black man wears a Disney jacket, you know? I was like, what is that? He's like, no, I fuck with Goofy. Like, I'd be fucking with Goofy. And everyone's like, no, he do be fucking with Goofy. Like, everyone will agree, but when a white adult wears a Disney jacket, everybody's.

Like, what's going on here?

Is he retarded?

Yeah. Yeah. What is. What's happening? Yeah.

And then I peel off into the joke of saying, I. I just have never. In Chicago, we didn't grow up with Disney. I moved to California. There's Disney adults.

Yeah.

I never saw that when we were a kid here. It didn't exist. But it's in my backyard now. So you see Disney adults. And I said, I just think there should be two lines at Disney. One for people with kids and one for people without. And the people with kids get to go in the park, and the people without get to go to jail. You have to go to jail. There should be a line right into a jail cell.

Yeah.

So they got bumped, they got scared about it. But it's like, it's. At the end of the day, it's a joke.

Yeah.

Like, I'm. I'm. It's. By the way, in the special White Noise, which people hopefully will watch, there is so much more offensive shit, right? The. The title White Noise is playing on the idea of me being, you know, crispy, see through, and I do a joke, a white noise joke in the special about a white noise machine. And that joke is way more offensive to so many groups of people. And it's funny, but they're like, that's great. And I'm like, but you don't like the one that's. Yeah, the other one that's harmless.

Yeah.

Such a. It's such an easy observation. But look, they, you know, we went back and forth about it and we felt like maybe it was better that we put it out the way we did, but what. The finished product is out there. So I hope people.

And you obviously watched it, you did it, but you feel good about it. It's like, because you, you know, I.

Like it too, but specials are impossible to, you know, everyone has a judgment about special that they're like, you know, everyone always will say something like, oh, yeah, I saw him live, and I don't. This isn't as good as I've seen him or whatever. My buddy Dan Soder. Have you guys ever had Sodium Sody's? One of the greatest men alive. But Soder said it best. He was like, yeah, you know why they like a podcast or, like, seeing you live better than a organized special is because they're getting it straight from the tap, dude.

Right?

He's like, from this. This is right out of the hose, dude. This is childhood sweating, running with your friend. It's right out of the hose. Delicious. And a prep and then a package show, like a special or a television show or a film. It's got to go through a million things like we just talked about before it gets to you. So it's harder. It's just. It's naturally not going to taste as good as when it's raw and unfiltered and. And kind of, you know, kind of sketchy and you don't know where you're getting.

Might get E. Coli from the garden host maybe. It's delicious.

We know that one kid that got a brain eating amoeba and whatever.

Yeah, that's right.

I think some kid at my high school got. What's the thing? They had to amputate something. He Got leprosy. No, it used. They used to. It came from water fountains. They got scared from water fountains.

Botulism.

No, but that is.

That sounds right. Yeah.

No, botulism.

They got a water fountain disease.

But botulism is Botox. You know that.

Yeah.

You know when women get Botox, you're shooting botulism in your face.

Are you going to get Botox ever?

Nah, dude, L.A. look at. I got a fade this morning on my beard. I went to a black barber shop this morning and he. He lined me up. This is the most lined up.

I think I love being lined up.

Did he line me up like crazy?

You ever feel like, any pressure to talk to the barber when you're there? Because there's some barbers that you hit.

It off with, but I did not want to talk to me.

Did not see.

Yeah, he was not interested. I think he didn't like that I walked in there.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think he saw me. And he's like, I'm not cutting this dude shit. And I was like, I just want a beard trim. That's all I need because I got bushy.

Yeah.

And he just. Any. I'm not kidding. He was like, sit down. He like, rolled his eyes, looked away. I didn't say a word, dude. It was. I just sat there quietly. When you go into. When you go into a barber shop that is mostly for not whites, you just. You say hi, do the thing, tip well and leave.

Speak when spoken to.

I once.

When spoken.

I once got a haircut at a Puerto Rican barbershop. I was at a wedding in Minneapolis and it was. He took out the straight razor like halfway through, and I was like, oh, God, I'm. I'm screwed. So it was like, it was a tight fade and I was like, this is. This isn't me. And then I had a wedding the next day.

No, but you look good.

My wife was so mad.

They cut a little fade into there.

But you know, like, you know that moment. Everyone's had like a bad haircut or a haircut that doesn't fix fit them. And you know that moment when the, when the straight razor comes out or something comes out? You're like, I'm too deep. Like, we're already doing this. You can't say, I can't turn back. We're just doing this now.

I. I kind of let him fly. And if it's bad, then you have something to talk about. Yeah, it's not going to not grow. You're fine. It's. It's going to fix itself eventually. Like, my. My wife was like, you're gonna let this guy cut your beard? Because I don't let. I have my barber do my hair and my beard, and even I won't even. Sometimes I'll get it out of my mouth. Maybe.

Yeah.

I let him do all of it, all the time. She's like, you're gonna let this dude you've never met at this place that you don't know cut your beard? I was like, yeah, let's roll the dice, dude.

He's a professional. He said, well, he probably went to school.

I don't know, dude. I don't know. Maybe online. I think he went to barber school online.

Yeah, he's used the razor a lot. His hands look steady. He doesn't look like he's drunk right now.

Yeah, he's used the razor for extracurricular activity, so why would he not? When they do get to the neck, though, every time I'm like, this could be it. I get a little nervous.

Yeah, this could be.

If he has an intrusive thought that he acts on right now, I'm.

Yeah, what if he had a tough morning?

Yeah.

He woke up, his wife was bitching at them. Your business is failing. We're spending all of our money on this piece of operation. There's no one going in, and I'm the only guy that goes in first thing in the morning. I'm number one in the chair. You know, who knows? He's not like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna make something out of this ginger.

Are you gonna get jacked up at some point? Like, how. How far into your Hollywood evolution do we have to reach?

Absolutely out.

You're never gonna get jacked.

Look, I'm as, like, middleweight as I've ever been right now.

You look good.

I'm fine. Dude, this is. You know what Dave said that made me laugh? Dave said I go, damn, dude, you're so tan right now. And he goes, if you can't tone it, tan it.

Yeah.

And I was like, that's a fantastic. I mean, I can't tan. So it was kind of a shot at me, but. But I was like, good on you, dude.

Every summer, people are like, damn, you look good. You lost, like, five, ten pounds. Like, nope, I'm tan.

Tan.

I'm tan.

Yeah, you can get tan.

Fuck yeah.

You don't get tan, do you?

I don't really get tan. No. I mean, I. I get. I get, like, slightly burned.

Yeah.

And then the burn sticks around for a couple weeks.

And that's what happens to me.

Yeah. It just peels off.

Thankfully, I have, like, half Italian, so I will get a more than a normal ginge. But no, dude getting jacked. I'm out. Look, I'm at a stage in my career, I'd like to say. I don't know who said this, but it made me laugh so hard because they said, this is the evolution arc for people in Hollywood. Right? Is it starts off with. In reference to, like, me, it go, who the fuck is Andrew Santino? Who is that? And then the second one is, ooh, I like that guy. Andrew Santino. Get me Andrew Santino. And then the third one is, get me someone just like Andrew Santino. Get me an Andrew Santino type.

Okay, Younger Santino.

Yeah. And then the fourth one is, who the fuck is Andrew Santino? This is the arc that we take. And I'm on the cusp of. I'm on the cusp of get me an Andrew Santino. And who the fuck is. I'm, like, falling off that other side. So I'm out. Dude. I'm good. This is it. I'm going to do comedy and podcasting till I'm dead.

Yeah. Do you. Do you really think, like. Because you and Bobby obviously have a great podcast. Like, you have so much fun. Do you think that you can just do it forever? Because we talk about this. We're going into year 10 coming up huge. And I. We always joke, and it's. It's. It's a joke, but it's really not a joke. Like, when I think about what I would do if I stopped doing this, it would probably be watch football with PFT and Hank in my basement. So, like, why not just sit in front of a mic?

Yeah, this is it. No, I think we're gonna do. Dude, we started it. You know, we started Bad Friends before COVID We were blessed with COVID as crazy as that sounds, because it kept everyone at home. And then our first couple of episodes got over a million views, and it was like, people had been asking for it, and, like, fans were like, you guys should do one together. So it was kind of this beautiful marriage, and we started it five years ago. It'll be six years in January, and so I don't see us stopping. It's the most fun job I've ever had.

Yeah.

Like, it's the. And this is the thing. And going back fast to the Disney stuff is, like, you know, they're restrictive and protective of their brand. I was a little hurt by the fact that we wanted to, like, shape stuff up because they were afraid of some of the language. You know, I get it. I get their thing. I was mad about it. We fought about it. We're here. It's. It is what it is. But with Bob, I don't have to do that, right? Like, I don't ever have to sacrifice or I don't even have to think about it. We just say what we say. We'll figure it out. Also, it's fine. Their words. What. It just means we're. We're. Most of the time, it's fantasy town. So when people are like, can you believe that? This and this. It's like, dude, it's all fake, right? It's all for fun. It's not. Almost none of it's real.

And it's also the thing that I. I still can't understand is, like, people who. You know, everyone has haters or people who don't like them, and it's like, why. Why would you keep listening? Just stop listening.

They hate you. They love you.

Yeah, but, like, there's people listening to.

This show right now that literally can't stand you guys.

Right.

Love you so much.

Right. But, like, also, if you. If it bothers you, just. Just stop. Like, this is a.

It's.

You can opt in or opt out.

Now they have to consume it.

You listen harder.

Yeah. Those people are probably bigger fans than your average fan who's like, oh, I love those guys.

Yeah.

It's like, do you listen last week and they're like, no, I think I missed. I don't know, my kids had practice and. But the guy that's like, I hate those guys. You think that guy listens to every single second of your show? Absolutely. He probably listens to it twice.

I don't think it's possible to hate somebody unless you love them.

Them. You love them first.

Love them first, and then you hate.

Them, and then you hate.

Well, isn't that what happens in our business is people, like, you get successful or you grow and the show gets bigger and it's naturally. Like, it get. It gets to a point when people are like, ah, those guys.

Yeah. Like, oh, I liked it when it was just, you know, you're like, this version.

I liked it better when it sucked. Yeah, right. Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Which I kind of understand.

I get it.

Yeah, I get it, too.

But it's natural. We're trying to grow the show and make more people get involved. Like, we have a great lineup coming up on Bad Friends. Like, we're expanding our Universe. Because we do great when it's just us, but when we bring in, like, I should. This is fun. Guy Fieri's coming on.

Oh, hell, yeah.

And I'm so fucking excited. But it's like, even he was like, are your fans gonna, like, it's like, dude, who cares, right? This is for us, dude. Like, he's gonna cook for us and shit. I was like, nah, dude, you're coming on the show.

No, I, I, I completely agree with that. Because, like, even this interview, it's gonna be. We're running it on, on the day of your special.

Yeah.

It's gonna be football season. There will be a sect of our fans who. During football. Football season, it's like, dude, we're friends with Santino. Like, I like having friends on the show. I think having friends on the show is better than doing a random interview with someone we've never met. Like, it just is.

We're boys, and also, we can talk football. Although I'm, you know, last time we talked, I was a little scared about the Bears, and now I'm even more. I'm just more nervous about the Bears than ever.

Yeah.

Say, I feel like, you know, people are very down on Caleb right now, but it's the perfect time to buy stock.

But see, I, I, This I agree with, because I think what happened last season, being on, like, Hard Knocks, which I think we talked about, I, I hated it so much. It made me angry inside. Especially when they showed his stupid lake house and all that.

Oh, they were trying to do, like, the Hollywood wash of Eber flutes. Dude.

It killed me. I was like, this is bad luck. This is absolutely bad luck. You know, this. And then what we saw what happened last season and the first coach to get fired mid season, which was incredible for us.

Yeah.

I thought, let's just be quiet. Just chill out. Hello. And let's cruise into the season anew. We don't need any more lights. And then, of course, preseason talk, which everyone's picking apart. The kid. I, I still am on his side, but I just. I'm a little nervous.

So what I've been doing and preaching this off season is I'm staying 6 out of 10 excited because last year I was 11 out of 10.

Me, too. I was way too hyped.

And it's in. 6 out of 10 is a good spot. And it's like, hey, I'm going to wait till I see it, and then I'll get excited. And guess what? It's like, we do this all the time, especially with the Bears, like, why would we expect them to all of a sudden be like an 11 win team? They haven't been over.500 since 2018. Like, just put that into perspective.

It could happen.

Right, Right. But put it in perspective. It's like, it's more likely than not going to happen.

But I think I went on Eisen and I. I told Rich. I think I said nine wins. It was either nine or.

Yeah, I've been saying nine.

I think nine or 10 is kind of my. That's the sweet spot. And I do believe that is very possible.

And you know what? If we're sitting here, honestly, when we say 9 or 10, we're obviously saying in our heart of hearts, 11 or 12, but we're saying we're saying 9 or 10. You have to.

I'm not an idiot. Like, we're already going to get ripped apart for saying 10. Just 10 people, like, double digits. You're sick in the head. No, but I still believe in the kid. I think it's good. I love the coach. We'll do it. I don't know. I can't get too hyped up because I don't want to get beat down, especially because I'm a Cubs fan and I'm seeing what's happening now, you know, and I'm not. And I'm just getting bummed again of, like, I knew this wasn't going to be a World Series.

Same with me.

I mean, who cares? I mean, let's. I think we said this, too. It's like, if you're talking nl, the Phillies would literally mop the floor with us.

The Dodgers.

I think even the Dodgers are all over the place. Yeah, but, I mean, the Dodgers still would do well, but I think the Phillies would smoke us. I think the brewers are going to smush our face in.

Yeah.

I just think we don't have a chance. I just.

I look, I just want to watch playoff baseball.

I just want to watch good playoff baseball. Me, too.

And then maybe next year, build something and resign Kyle Tucker and, you know, this is the launch.

You think they're going to give him $400 million? There's no chance. There's no way.

As long as if you make it into the playoffs in baseball, you have a chance. Crazy things happen.

I don't know, dude.

It becomes such a smaller sample size.

We would need a much deeper bullpen.

And the pitching is the concern.

The pitching is crazy. And Council's not warming anybody up half of the time. Also, I saw. I felt bad for that kid last night for Ray, he's got. They've. They're zooming into his hometown in Iowa and count. What's it called? Cascade, Iowa or something. And you know, when he, you know, they gave him mozzarella sticks. And then this one was. They buy him a beer or something if he has back to back checkout. And then, like, he just gets showed right after he gets. I think Devers was like, oh, I'm gonna ruin this.

Yeah. No mozzarella. Six.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

It was unbelievable. Also, this is. I know we're baseball talk. We should be football talk. But I'm a, you know, I'm big baseball guy. But I was thinking about San Francisco and I had. My dad and I were talking about the splash because they had what's her name out there in the splash zone or whatever.

Yeah.

And I was.

What's her name? Taylor.

Why can't I think of her last name?

Yeah, but.

But I reminded me when I was a kid of how many times Barry Bonds.

Yep.

In fact, in 2000, Taylor.

McGregor.

Taylor McGregor.

Yeah.

In two. Shout out to him, McGregor, you're the best. And they had her out there just in the. In a canoe. But in 2000 and 2001. Bonds. Bonds in 2000 hit like five or six. And then in 2001, it was like seven or eight.

Yeah.

They haven't had one. They had one this year in April was the last time it happened. But I was like, bring back the juice, dog.

I know.

Bring back the juice.

It's disgusting that Barry Bonds is not in the hall of Fame.

Yeah.

The best baseball player to ever.

It's. It's abhorrent. And he's also an Arizona State kid, so I love that about him as well.

We had Rob Manfred on the show and we. I pitched him like. Like steroid month.

Give him the juice.

He didn't think it was funny.

See, what. But I don't understand. They're using other enhancing drugs now that are legal and cleared. What? Why don't we regulate this then? Yeah, regulate it. Give them all. And they can only top out a certain dose. If you go over the line, you get suspended or a month.

That's regulation. That's one month.

One month. Give them a month. Let them hit the juice.

Dude, do whatever you want.

Imagine if baseball, like, July, they're like, hey, guess what? It's steroid month. You don't tell me the ratings aren't going to go crazy through the roof.

I mean, how about this? They just stop testing and don't tell anyone.

Yeah, yeah.

But if you get in a stop testing, then you get into like, then everything is fair game. Yeah, I think. Yeah.

Okay.

You want it wide open.

Yeah, yeah.

You can tell everyone you're still testing, but we're gonna actually collect the piss.

I say drip it out slowly. Let them do a little slowly, like, I think slowly but surely let it come out. It was like weed.

Yeah.

The amount of times I get busted for weed in this state when I was a kid. And like this sheer panic for smoking pot now. I went, took my parents out to dinner last night. This guy's smoking a joint right outside the restaurant, right? Like, isn't this so funny, Mom? That used to yell, I used to get deep shit for smoking a joint with my friends. Now it's like every corner store, there's one right here. There's one right down the block. Yeah, I look, I think drip it out slowly. People get comfortable with it. Be like, a little bit of steroid here, a little bit of steroid there.

What about this? On the roster, you get two designated steroid guys total. That's every team gets two. And you have to declare it before the season. Be like, hey, here are guys.

Sure.

And we're going to go.

You think. What do you think about pitcher. Pitchers using?

I think you got to go one. I think you'd maybe go one pitcher, but you know, you'd probably go like.

You know who you want? Your clothes are on Roy.

You want John Rocker 100.

You wouldn't put your best player on steroids. You'd put like your fifth best player who's like, you know, a middle of the road.

You'd want a lunatic. You do want a rocker. You want a guy that's going to like Huck104 and say the N word.

Yeah.

That's who you want out there. You're like, let this guy go off.

Dude, baseball was great. We had guys like that. Yeah. I mean, maybe the most intimidating pitcher didn't want to fight him. His neck was like Takio Spikes. It would go like nuts straight down to his shoulders. Yeah.

He was one that was talking about the reason I said the Edward joke is because wasn't he doing that about the train?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You said he was saying he won't.

The train is he wouldn't get on it. He hates New York. The 7 train to Shea Stadium.

He gave an all time interview because it was. It was a Sports Illustrated reporter that was like, I'm gonna do a feature on you.

Right?

And Rockers like, okay, hop along.

All right.

You're in my car.

All right.

They're driving down the road. See that? See that car up there? Guarantee that's a woman, Asian driving that car. And they're like, okay, I'm taking some notes right here.

Yeah.

But yeah, he was just the most unhinged interview ever. And then he was like, why is everyone mad at me all of a sudden?

I said, yeah, well, dude, if that's how he feels, that's how the kid feels. I do think steroid month is a good idea for baseball. I also think get rid of the umps. Tired.

No, tired. You're so wrong on tired.

Tired.

Okay. You're so wrong on that for a couple reasons.

Get him on.

Did you see the ump who got hit in the nuts three times in a row in a little league game?

Oh, I'm not saying remove him from being there. I'm saying remove him from making the decision, the call.

But I disagree with that too.

Nah, you give.

I think if you remove. If you make robot. I've long standing take on this. If you remove umps. Refs from games, you're eliminating like 50% of the conversation guys can have with each other.

No, no, I'm saying just baseball, my friend. Okay, but still, because in the NBA, a referee calling a foul, right? There is levels of foul. So this is. This has to be judged by human. Right? But for the box behind home plate, that is a literal box for every person. I. You can still have umps out in the field. Also, we're going to overturn those calls when you're wrong. So what's the difference? But behind home plate, it's a box. We know what the box is. It's literal.

But have you thought about losing a game and not being able to blame the umpire? And having to come to the grips with your team is worse as the.

Amount of games that I've lost as a Chicago fan across the board.

Just saying.

It's not. It's never the.

Yeah, but nobody's never been the great excuse.

Like, we got that guy. If you're gonna call him wrong, be consistent. You can get mad at the. Any way you slice it, you can figure out a way why the ump is the problem.

All right, how about this then we sacrifice it. Replace umps with convicted criminals, okay? Who are on death row. So then you have somebody to blame, somebody to hate. Give them something to do.

I like that.

But give them something to do.

We don't try to fight them.

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Make it more entertaining.

We always joke about, like, the. When your team loses in the playoffs in the NFL. How do. How do men cope? They spend the next three days screen grabbing every alleged hold and tweeting it at people and being like, what about this? What about this?

Right?

You need that. Otherwise we can't deal with it.

Yeah. Football, fine. Baseball, gone. Baseball, gone.

Did you see the ump who got hit in the nuts three times?

Did a little league little game. I didn't see it.

Here. Here it is.

Can I see it?

It's unbelievable. Start it from the beginning and get the sound. That's one.

Time on me. My time.

Oh, my God.

Oh, God. Isn't that the best? I love it when the little kid catcher is, like, checking on him.

Yeah.

After the first one.

Is it great? Like, you okay, sir? You know that, like, you'll. I always. I always judge. Like, if I could still laugh at, like, nut shots and puke videos, I. I still got it to the day.

You're dead.

Yeah.

By the way, easy, dad joke. Black and blue now. Not just blue.

Black and blue.

Black and blue. My dad. We were at a. What game were we at? We were at a game together. I'll never forget. I was in. I was in high school, I think I want to say it was a Cubs game. The only reason I'm going back and forth, because we would go to Sox games sometimes because my dad's good friend's father is a Hall of Fame White Sox. So it's kind of crazy. It was like we would go to those. Because his dad has a statue and.

Right.

It's nuts. But we. I think it was a Cubs game. We were at. And we're at the urinal, and I was in high school. And we walk in there, and there's a guy in the stall, and I can hear he's going like. Like he's struggling, you know? And my. My dad's next to me. We're pissing. And then the guy just the longest. Loud. It's just like. Just like a rumbling. Like he was waiting for this. And my dad started laughing, and then I started laughing, and I thought, they don't ever get old farts. Literally never get it. It made me feel like, oh, my dad is like, me.

Yeah.

Like. Because you see, your dad is like this. Just this powerful figure. I'm like, no, he's a guy still.

Yeah.

You don't lose being an immature guy even when you have to be dad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was what we Shared a fart together. It was beautiful.

Yeah, I remember when I was a kid, my. My dad is six, three. And when we were walking up the stairs, he'd fart in my face.

Oh, that's like.

That's a fun. That's just that I do it to my kids now. It's like, it's so fun. Like if you can get your kid like right, like going behind you in the stairs and their face is right there. Easy fart bang.

Easy. Have this or fart and keep the windows up in the car. Love. That's so trap.

Dude.

You child lock the window. Windows. The funniest thing in the world.

You know who doesn't like farts is dogs.

Yeah, they hate it.

My dog gets pissed at.

They get mad at you.

I. I've farted on my dog. If one time I did it as a joke and he. For the first time and only time, he looked like he was gonna bite me.

Yeah, he might.

He like, knew what it was.

Yeah. That's a sign of disrespect.

It is. But when he does it, he also like. It's. He gets confused by his own ass. When he farts, he's like, what was that? But when I do it, he knows exactly what it is. He's like, you for doing that, buddy.

Yeah, he know. Yeah, because he knows that. He knows that's not supposed to happen.

Yeah.

Like that seems strange.

Yeah. Dogs never fart on each other. So he's like, you did something.

Well, because they smell ass a lot.

Yeah.

And so they know what ass smells like. So when that comes out, they go. That I don't like.

Yeah.

I don't like you to push it at me. I'll smell it if I'm interested.

That would be a good stand up special is just. Just farting.

Yeah. How?

How?

There's. There's a few that are out there.

Like that just hit me in my nuts every like five minutes. Got a clock on stage. Four minutes, 59 seconds till next. Next nut shot.

Yeah.

A ball to the nuts will literally never get it. It will never get old. It's such a funny moment in time. Like with Jackass, they did it so much that it. It looked painful and like, sad. At some point you're like, leave that guy's dick alone.

This is like bad snake.

Yeah, but it's like that when it's an accident. Oh, it's great. You need an ump to get hit in the nuts. You're right. Umps, no cup. How about this? If the, umps are going to stay in the game. I want it more dangerous.

Yeah.

No mask.

No mask.

Oh, I like that. Yeah.

Tie their hands behind their back.

We'll get back to Andrew Santino in a second. He's brought to you by Mountain Dew. Hear this. That's the sound of nice cold Mountain Dew opening up. It is delicious. What a great drink. Perfect drink for football season. Perfect drink for the summertime if you're hanging out with friends, if it's warm outside, if you're golfing, if you're on the boat, perfect boat drink Mountain Dew. Nothing goes better with summertime and football and hanging with your friends than the refreshing, citrusy kick of Mountain Dew. We're drinking dews all over the office. We're drinking them at Camp Bar Stool. They're a great sponsor there. And I also love the new cans that they got the retro look. It's a great looking can, great tasting drink. Grab a Dew in the new packaging and enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. And now here's more Andrew Santino.

All right, so when your special comes out, do you then go on tour? Is that kind of suck to be.

Like, I'm do some new dates. I'm doing dates. I'm going to be back around, bouncing around, working on a new hour because the special we filmed in February. So I've been off working on my new hour in LA and then in New York for a second. And then now I've been home here for a month. But yeah, so I'll be touring again. I'm doing like Halloween weekend San Francisco. I'm doing Tempe. I'm going back to Arizona State, which is great. I've never, never played the Tempe improv, and that's like a homecoming. I played the theater downtown, but yeah, I'm doing casino gigs all over. I'll be in Atlantic City and everywhere so people can come see me. I'm working out the new hour.

Do you like the travel or does it get like.

No, dude. It's out of sight, out of mind at this point. Like, I don't like, I don't like. I don't like the jump around travel. Like when we're on tour. Tour, right. This is easy because I do a weekend. I get to go home. I do a weekend. But when we say on the bus, like when Bobby and I were on a bus, oh, my God, dude.

Yeah. You like the Bill Burr tour? I. I remember talking to him about it and he was like, yeah, I just go for two nights.

Two nights.

And go home. Right back home.

Yeah. That's the, that's the best. But when you stay on the bus with somebody, even your best of friend. Yeah, you will. You guys will slit each other's throat.

Oh we, we do a bunch of trips during the year and it's always funny because we, we joke that like the. Somewhere around the fourth day there'll be a moment where we're all in a car together.

Yeah.

And we're just not speaking.

Yeah.

And we're just silent and it's like. It's not intentional but it's like. Yeah. We kind of need our own space right now. Let's all just take a break. Yeah.

Two for us is dangerous.

Yeah.

It's a dangerous week week when you get to the first week is still ho hummy. We go out to great dinners every night. So you're. And we're taking care of the crew and it's just kind of. It's very chummy. Everyone is like stoked still. Week two. Good night.

Yeah.

That is, that is, that is the break era.

Yeah.

Do you plan your. Your dates around like good golf courses?

Yeah, I usually do like when I would. When I used to tour doing clubs, I used to plan them around baseball season.

Love that.

So I'd find out where because I always wanted to go to as many games as I could. I'll still do that. Dude. I go to games alone. I was out in Virginia for, for this live thing and I went to D.C. i went. I was like, I want to go see the Natty. So I just went and poked down there and I'll do that as much as I can. I'll go to so many games by myself.

Oh, it's the best.

I love self baseball.

Baseball by yourself is awesome.

It's unbelievable. And also you don't have to worry about tickets and that. There's always a single ticket. There's always a single ticket. I would, I would tell more people to go to baseball games alone.

Agreed.

Yeah.

You lock into the game and.

Yeah.

You're watching the game.

Yeah. I'm not on my phone. I don't have anybody to talk to. I don't have to go worry about going to get another or da da. It's like just sit there, have a few and honestly I've made more friends in my like around me just talking than I would have ever done if I went with other people that I knew.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's a great idea. I like to do that with movies every now and again.

I just. Dude, I Just went to go see. Honey, don't the. What's wrong with me?

All right, I'm gonna.

Why. Why can't I think of her name? Dude, Margaret Qualley. That's her name.

We're not really. Big celebrity guy.

No, no, but I mean, it's a good. I went to go see the movie because it's a. It's a Coen Brothers movie. Well, it's only one of them.

Oh, it's just a Cohen brother.

Cohen brother. I think it's Ethan Cohen maybe. Honey. Honeydon't.

Is he the better Cohen?

I don't even know which one's which.

Yeah, you know what I mean? Why'd they split up? Is this the first time they split up?

I don't know if it's the first time they've split up, but this is kind of one of those. This was a foray into his own thing. But, honey, please, honey, don't. Honey, don't.

Okay?

I can't remember the name because it wasn't. It was one of those, you know.

Do you want to be in some movies?

I'm out, dude. I'm out.

You were.

Seriously, I have no business in the business. I'm out.

What if they call you stand up and podcast calls you up?

We did Happy Gilmore as podcasters. Yeah, podcasters. Like I said, dude, I'm on the. I'm literally on the. Get me someone like Andrew Santino. Who the is Andrew Santino? I'm on that side of the hill. It's a young man's game. I'm 42 in a month, and I've had a great. I love doing Dave. I love doing. I'm dying up Here. I had a great fun time, but, like, the business has changed, and I have more fun doing stand up in podcasting by far than I ever did doing that other stuff. So it would be cool, maybe, but, dude, I don't think so.

So what if you're. If your agent calls you up and like, hey, I got a lead role for you.

You're just like, nah, it's got.

If it's rad. Is it rad?

Yeah, you're the new Superman.

No, I'm not doing that shit.

Why not?

Superman?

Representation matters. Think about all the ginger kids would be like, holy shit, Superman's a ginger.

It's a lie. I'm feeding them a lie. Every little redhead. It's like, you can't be super red, dude. You can't even be out in the sun for more than an hour. You talking about.

Dude, Does Krypton have a son? I don't think that. I don't think the planet has a song.

I don't think so.

Oh, it could be a ginger.

Be the break. Yeah, that could be the break. Also, he's. He's mostly covered.

Yeah, he is mostly covered.

No, dude, I.

Wearing a sun shirt.

You'd have to give me. You'd have. Yeah, you'd have to be something really cool. Something like. We've gone through the ringer. I've pitched a bunch of shows. We sold a show a couple years ago. It never got made. As everything does in Hollywood, you sell stuff. It never gets made. Bobby and I are doing an animated show with Hulu that.

Okay.

Hopefully will come out. And that's fun because we get to do voices and then have our friends be voices. Like, that's the best thing.

Yeah.

Like, I can call you guys up and be like, hey, will you. Yeah, we go into the studio and do a voice. That's. That, to me, is what I'm looking forward to is like. Like working with my friends. And that's the best way to do it is podcasting and creating our little nookie things. Bob and I did a. We created a game show that we can't put out.

Why?

It was a little much.

Oh, I want to say, dude, it was in.

I'll send you the copy. Yeah, it's insane. I mean, it's literally insane. Like, the first episode was John Stamos and Meghan Trainor, like, such a funny combo. And we. The games were insane. I mean, do. We did one where it was like, smell the. Guess the race by smell. We had the interns. We had the interns come, and you had to smell the interns and tell me what race they were.

Uhhuh. Did they get it right?

Megan got a few right. John bombed. I mean, he got like, put it out on barstool. We can't put it out. Their lawyers will sue us. Oh, they will sue us into oblivion. I mean, dude, we had. We did the. The first game we played was Where Am I? And it's a iconic moment in time. Right. And it's a. It's a picture that's mostly covered except for one person, and we slowly zoom out and that. You have to guess it before it zoomed all the way out.

Out.

And the first one was a UPS driver at 9 11, like, delivering a book. The second one was a guy on Epstein's Island. But these are, like, random pictures we took from the Internet. And the. Where am I? Bled into this other game. And it got. It was funny, but you could tell that their people were like, absolutely not.

So you got to do it with comedians.

That's what we're gonna do. Yeah, that was the pitch. We thought it was funny doing it with people that were. That was fish out of water, where it's like, yeah. You know, you're watching, like, pop stars and old TV dads.

Yeah.

Be this. This thing that was funny and naughty to me, because it was like, oh, this is not supposed to be. But with comics. Yeah, you'd see that. I mean, it's okay.

Let me pitch on a major upgrade for that instead of Stamos. Yeah. Jerry o'.

Connell.

That's a major upgrade.

You know the guy. Give him a ring.

Major upgrade.

Give him a ring.

He's done it before. He's replaced Stamos before.

Let's do it again. Let's do it again. We know Stamos now tours with the Beach Boys.

Yeah.

Do you know this?

Yeah, I did not know.

This is insane.

Yeah. Yeah.

He has been for, like, a decade. People kind of don't know about it.

It was a joke on Full House.

Yeah, dude. But.

And then it became a reality. Yeah.

And he.

And he can play, and he, like, goes on tour. Like, he called us when he was going to shoot with Bobby and I and was like, I can't make it, dude. And I was like, why? He's like, I have a gig. I was like, are you. Are you shooting? I'm thinking a TV or movie. I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, no, I'm doing with the Beach Boys. I'm down in San Diego. And I was like, what, dude? Like, it still doesn't feel right.

Yeah.

No, no, you're not. But.

Yeah. How does that economy work? When you sell, like, a TV show to somebody and then they get made, then they pay you for it, and then they don't do anything with it.

This is what they do. This is Hollywood in a nutshell, is like, buy stuff to shelf it. That's like an old phrase they used to shelf scripts so other studios couldn't get it right. And then now they. They buy shows because they want the property, and they give you a little bit of money to give you get your beak wet. And then they end up going through a stupid executive process, and it either gets noted to death or the executive that bought it from you got fired. And they brought in, you know, the woman that ran Lysol or something. Like, the way they operate Is critically. She was at Nabisco. And you're like, she's running a studio now. It doesn't make any sense. So then you have a new executive you have to appeal to, and they're like, I don't like that show. And then it doesn't happen. And this is kind of the development process in Hollywood, unless you are Seth Rogen.

Right.

And you can call up literally everyone and go, make my show. And they're like, you got it. But at our level, it's like, like, you know, you're. We're just trying to get a nibble. You know, we're like, hey, we have this fun show. Do you want to make it? They're like, maybe. And then we write it, and they're like, we love it. And then they note it. And then a network is like, I don't think. I don't know. And then someone else is like, I think this sucks. And then you start going, this sucks?

Yeah.

And then you're like, I'm not going to make this. This suck. I mean, that happens constant to everybody.

Yeah.

You pitch a show, you actually hate the show. You're like, they're never going to make this anyways. They. They buy it, and then they're like, we actually want to make the show. Then you have to work on a show that you hate.

Yeah, that happened. That happens a lot. People do that, like, a lot. A lot that you end up being a part of something that you. It wasn't the original idea.

Yeah.

And then people get frustrated and they're like, well, I don't want to make this. And then they tank the show on purpose. Yeah, this happens all the time. I mean, dude, this is the bus you're dealing with these machines. Did you think they weren't going to screw you over their machines? Right. What did we think was going to happen? So we just try to make our own stuff, do our best that we can given the parameters, and then keep, you know, keep having fun. I mean, dude, we're gonna die. Buy the car, take the ride.

Good point.

Kiss the girl. We're gonna die, dude. Have fun. Over.

Watch White Noise, please.

Watch White Noise out on Hulu. I, I, I would appreciate it. It's. And then come see me live. I do always say specials are fun, but live is always better. I don't care what comic you are. There's maybe been four comics in our history who have made as good of live specials or good of specials as they were live. And you can name them. And like most people, they like your special. Maybe. But live is always going to be better. You cannot be live entertainment. You're in it. You're. You're inside of this magic moment, this private little room with just us. You know what I mean? It's. There's something about it that's. It's powerful and fun.

Yeah.

So come see the kid.

All right, I got one last question.

Roback question. Rho, B, A, C, K.com promo code, take 20 off your first purchase. Q, zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com promo code. Take, take. Can you ask. I don't know if I. I think you have enough of a relationship with him. Going back to the first question. Can you ask Travis if there's a little part of him was like, maybe I should have changed my Instagram handle before I got engaged to.

I'll ask him. Yeah. Kill a trap Killer Travis. Pretty great, though.

But it was very funny to be like, Taylor Swift got engaged to kill a trap.

Yeah. Like, it sounds like a rapper from Chicago that. Kill a trap from back in the yard.

Yeah. We said it was a. It was an AIM screen name name.

Yeah.

Make it.

When you're 10 years old, being like, this is sick.

What was your AOL screen name?

I. I.

Because how. Wait, how old are you? How old are you again?

40.

How old are you?

40.

Yeah, we're all close to the same. I'm four. I'm 42. I think mine was. Because my last name is Santino.

Yeah.

And so then it became Tino, and someone said Tisno. And so I think it was like, Tizno 420 or something like that.

Huh.

Something else. Something else, too.

But, like, mine was Dan Katz. Dan K. Mine was Dank Nuggs.

Dank Nugs, dude.

Oh, dude, go.

I'm always getting stoned, dude.

Thank Nug Mine, actually, the first one I had was Billabong. Oh, dude. I had like, a Billabong shirt. And I was like, this shirt's pretty cool.

It is pretty cool. It was cool.

And my mom was like, why is that your screen? I was like, I like the shirt you got me, Mom.

Yeah, you bought it. Yeah, it has nothing weird with me. Yeah, I'll text. I'll text him and ask him about it. It's actually a good question. I'm gonna see him. I'm going down to week two to go see them in the Eagles. Yeah, just be like, hey, I'll ask him.

Just think, baby. You know, Travis Kelsey is a pretty well known name now. Could change.

We don't know this. When we set up.

Yeah.

Like my handles Cheeto. Santino. Because of a story or true. A true story about it turned into a joke. When I was a young stand up, I was playing basketball with these Mexican dudes on the east side of la and they saw my leg hair. And this is an old bit. But he was like, oh, damn, dude, you got orange leg hair, dog. And I was like, yeah. He's like, it looks like if you ate a bag of Cheetos and you wiped a finger dust all over your skin, dog. And they came, kept joking about it. He's like, cheeto legs, dog and Cheeto. I just took it because I hated it. It bothered me and I was like, I'll just use it.

Yeah.

And it. And then now I'm like, I'm a grown man.

Yeah.

But whatever. You can't flip it. You got to stay. You got to keep it also. And I'm going to say this. I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. Every time I come here, treat me well. This place is very nice and warm and beautiful. The people you have walking around here, some of the goons you have. Oh, yeah, we got slugging around the halls.

Oh, yeah.

Who are you talking about? About who in particular?

Honestly? I. I'd have to point. I'd have to. Not him. He's rad, Zach. Yeah, he's rad. No, there's just. As I sit in the lobby, you see people come and they go. And you got some real gooners, dude.

Yeah, we do.

Scary looking gooners good, though.

It's like good vibes.

You have its natural security.

Yeah, yeah. It's.

No one's going to walk in when they see some of this. And then I. I got to meet a young man here, a young redheaded kid who's a new. Newer to stand up. He was saying, oh, mook. Yeah, mook.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nice kid. He came up and said hi. And then he was like, he's from Philly. Philly. That's exactly right. And just moved here. But he wanted to introduce himself. And I said, this is a nice young man. He looked pulled enough together, but you do have some slugs.

He might be the answer to get me someone like Andrew Santino in a couple years.

He doesn't have it, dude. No, no. He's probably. He's a great guy, man. He seemed like a super nice guy. Yeah. He can take my spot to take all the. Take all the. That comes along with it.

Yeah.

All right, Santino. Thanks, man.

Thank you.

Boys, love having you on.

Appreciate you.

Thanks. This week's fire fest is brought to you by Morgan and Morgan. We all know that life comes at you fast. One minute you're playing for the Lakers, the next you're moving your family to Dallas. When you find yourself in the middle of your very own fire fest, you just might need America's largest injury law firm in your corner. Morgan. And Morgan has been fighting for the people and helping with your fire fest for over 35 years. With Morgan and Morgan, it's easy to get started and their fee is free unless they win. You can check them out@forthepeople.compmt that's f o r the people.compmt all right, let's.

Wrap up fyre fest, boys. Hank, Nothing crazy.

Good week. Better.

Better than last.

Little getting in the rhythm of football season.

It's been nice weather.

Fall is, is a fun, fun time of year in Chicago.

How many, how many rounds? Just one.

You had to play this week. Just one.

Damn. Oh man.

Because we got a big match coming up.

Yeah, but yeah, I mean just simulator, simulator work.

It is.

That's when it's nice.

When it's nice weather and it's like.

I feel for the people, people in the cubes. When it's like you just look outside like damn.

Yeah. I guess the only really flower fest is. Is I filled in, filled in for big cat and softball.

I was not on the.

The summer pugs filled in.

I think I filled in twice this year. We lost both games. Filled in last night pitcher playoffs. We had a big lead this team in the 7, 7 inning game in the bottom of the sixth.

They just did the thing where they just wouldn't swing the bat.

Just get guys on. You got to pitch strikes. I was felt like I was pitching strikes. I was not pitching strikes. And how many walks in a row? Row? I think three. I think I had three, four total in the inning. I would not walk three guys in a row. Yeah, I mean you should have been there. I should have been there.

Restarting the thing where you do the, the dance off the mound like the side steps.

I was doing the sidestep. I was, I was, I. I did strike a kid out.

Looking backwards.

Backwards K And softball, they, they whatever they were chirping.

We, we blew a set.

A 137 lead.

Yikes.

But no one had a cartoon fall.

It's a meltdown. Listen, I'm a sub so I don't.

Get involved with the, you know, the roster and the placing of players and stuff. So that I was just. I was just there to, you know, put the ball in play. I couldn't do that. I had too many walks.

So hand up.

I lost the Pugs this season. Damn. Sorry to hear that. Yeah, sorry to hear that.

You're not even on the team.

Game. No.

Does that sting more or less?

It stings more because we were. We were up. We were playing really well. Like I've. I've played in the spring. It was probably the best game I felt like we had played up until the sixth inning. Some good defensive plays, great hitting.

Max had.

It wasn't a cartoon slide, but Max did like a.

A.

A major league slide for no reason. Last.

It was in.

It was in the last sitting. I scored from. From second on a ground ball to short.

Oh, hell yes. Max. Max. So I.

So I slid. I slid home.

I did a little.

I did like a wraparound slide trying.

To avoid a tag, and the catcher never. Never caught the ball.

But I. I mean, my.

My entire.

The entire side of my body is now scraped like all hell. I was wearing shorts.

Playoffs.

But it was playing playoffs. The last inning.

Playoffs.

We were up two, and it. And it brought us up three, and then.

Playoffs. Yeah, playoffs. Memes almost killed a guy with a soccer ball. That was also a highlight. That's pretty funny. Like, a soccer ball came into the field. Memes was kicking it back, and it was. I don't. Inches away from my distance.

Guy had his headphones in, so we were like.

And he didn't hear it, and it.

It landed, like, directly behind him.

Oh, that's hilarious. That's amazing. All right. Pft.

I had a fire fest happen to me. It was, like, gradually developing over the course of the week, but I didn't realize the extent that it developed until this morning. So I was out for a run. Not to brag. A couple days ago. That is a brag. And I was jogging my neighborhood, and I saw my car was parked out on the street because I had the El Camino in the garage and the other car was on the street. I noticed the boom boot was put on my car. Right, the parking boot.

Yeah.

So I saw that, and I was like, okay, mental note. I need to call this number when I get back from my jog, see about getting this boot off. I get back from my jog, forget to call the boot number. Next morning, I go out to go to work. My car's gone.

They towed it.

They towed it. They towed it. So then I had to track down my car.

Car. You don't have street parking.

I do have street parking, but I never bought. Here's the thing about Chicago. They make you buy. You have to register your car, right? You got to pay, like, the tax, all that stuff. And then you gotta. You just have to, like, go to your local warlord and be like, here's 250 for a sticker I can put on it.

You can do it online.

I did not know that.

Yeah, the. Yeah, so you did.

You don't have street parts, so I. I don't know. But I don't have.

Because you don't have the per. You don't have your. Your zone towed.

There's. There's no. Nobody ever gave me anything to put on my car.

Yeah, neighborhood that sucks.

And then I find out online, yeah, it had been towed to a tow pound that's actually close by the office. So at lunchtime today, I get into an Uber, drive to the tow pound. They let me out. The people that work at Toe Puns, I understand that. Like, it's a. I don't want to go all Brit McHenry on you right now. It's not.

I forgot about it.

Yeah. You remember that? What? I'm on tv, okay. It's not a great job. It's a bad job. You're dealing with people who are very pissed off. But it takes a certain type of person to work at a place where everyone's mad at them all day, and then it makes them mad, and then they become too.

Yeah, the starting. The starting place for every interaction is bad.

It's bad. No one's happy to see you correct all day. So I go in and I'm. I. I always take the mindset in these types of situations. Like, I'm going to be like. Like, maybe the nicest person that they've seen all day.

You're going to get a stripper to fall in love with you.

It's not their. Like, it's not their fault my car was towed. Yeah, we'll get to whose fault it was later. So I. I go up to the person and they're like, yeah, okay, we can get you over to our cashier, but first you need to give me your registration. And I was like, well, I don't have my registration. It's in my car. And then that was a big deal. They're like, what are you, your registrar? You don't have your registration? I was like, no, it's in your car. That's in your lot. So I have to get to that. Wait about 30 minutes, get finally driven out to my car. I go in, I grab my registration, Turns out it's the registration from a year ago. Oh. And my registration is up to date, but I don't have that registration. So I bring that up inside and I'm like, okay, hopefully they won't notice the date on this. I hand them the registration. Within half a second he's like, this is expired. Sends right back. So I'm like, okay, so what can I do to get my car back? He's like like, well, I need you to have a sticker.

Looks like you don't have a. A parking sticker. Uhhuh. And so to get the parking sticker, he's like, you have to walk to the currency exchange.

Yeah.

Which is 10 minutes away. So I walk to the currency exchange, buy the sticker, 250 bucks for the sticker, which by the way, expires in six months, Walk all the way back, then I show that to the person, then they're like, okay, now you have to wait in line for the cashier. And I wait in line, I'm at the cashier and the lady tell, she stiff arms me, she goes goes, you have to wait until I call you.

Oh.

And I was like, oh, I thought I just had to wait in line here. I get sat down, I wait probably two minutes and then she says my name.

She's proving she put you in timeout.

She put me in time out. She's proving a point. And I'm trying my best to hold everything together. And she was like, yeah, did you get your sticker? I was like, yeah, that's a stupid rule. And she's like, excuse me, but that's the law. I was like, I know you don't make the law. I'm sorry, I slipped real quick.

Quick.

So then she hands me my bill, and my bill is a thousand dollars to get my car back. Cuz it turns out I had like 5 unpaid parking Ah tickets. Yeah. Which I did not realize. I thought I had like one or two. So then now I'm twelve hundred dollars lighter. Then I pick my car up and it's got a sticker on it that will not come off. Oh yeah, the sticker that they put on there is like attached to your car with super glue.

You need a razor blade.

I asked. And by the way, the guys that were in charge of like driving you back and forth to car, the nicest guys in the world, they checked in with me like five times, being like, hey, is there anything else I can help you with? One guy was like, beat the. Out of the packers tonight for me. I was like, okay, these guys are cool. Everyone inside is just. It's not their fault because their job sucks.

Yeah.

And they hate talking to people that are pissed off. So that was about three hours out of my day that I spent going back and forth doing paperwork and then getting my debit card charged, like, four times in order to make it. But finally I got my car back.

Okay.

So that's good.

So whose fault was.

It got toad. It was. It was my fault that it got. Number one, I probably should have called the second I saw the boot on there. Number two, I probably should have paid for my parking tickets, which I didn't. But in my defense, I'm very lazy.

Yeah. Number three, you can get the sticker online, and you should have auto renew.

Well, now I got a sticker.

Yeah.

I got. I got too many stickers on my car.

Yeah.

And also, I don't know what they build the ground in the. The tow pound out of, but my car looks like it got driven through dune.

Oh, yeah.

It's just covered in sand.

Yeah. There's one on Lower Whacker. The. The. That I. I've been towed to before, and that one is like. It's Gotham City.

Yeah.

And it's. It's. So at least you have to go to that one.

Well, the. The walk to the currency exchange was pretty dicey today.

Yeah.

And it put me in some places where I. I stood out a little bit in my awesome NFL shirt.

No.

Maybe just a little bit. But. Yeah, that was a. That was a whole trip. And then the guy at the currency exchange was like, yeah. So normally I could sell you a. A. A street parking permit thing for, like, 60 bucks, but it's not letting me, so I have to charge you the 250 for it. I was like, that sound. Okay. Sounds reasonable. He shouldn't have told you that.

That's.

I know. I know. That was.

Well, they. Temporary stickers, too. Like, if people come and visit your house, you can give them a sticker so they can park on the street.

Yeah. So that was bad. And there were several instances today where I thought I was not getting my car back. Like, I had to go to the dmv, make another appointment, and then go back to the car place. So I'm. All in all, I'm glad I got.

Can I say something? I'm. I'm proud of you. Because I think I would have given up at some point there.

I thought about it and just been.

Like, all right, New car. I thought I was gonna drive the van.

Now I was like, I've got another car. Yeah, I will do that.

All right. My fire fest. My ear popped finally on Friday, I got on another flight. So it was three days, four days with. With my ear. I didn't kill myself. That was good.

So that's.

That's. That's. That's a positive. I also better help. I think this is like sleep deprivation. But I've woken up three times this week and not known what day it is. I got to figure that out. If that's like a brain thing that's going on.

Do you know if it's a football day or non football day?

I thought on Tuesday I woke up and I thought it was Thursday. On Wednesday.

That's a bad. That's a bad feeling.

Wednesday I woke up, and I also thought it was Thursday. Today I woke up and I thought it was Friday.

Okay, that's. That's not good. No, because there are distinct feelings I have when I wake up. If there's. If there's football on later on that day, I know the second I open my eyes. Yes, I got like a bright eyed, bushy tail.

I'll blame the bears on that one. Got me all out. And then the last one is not really a fire fest. But listen, not. There's no regret. I don't really know what I'm gonna do with this new van. And it was expensive. Put. Not regret.

Not regretting anything.

Not regretting at all. Sick. I just need to get a license on it so that I can drive it around. Then I'll be like, this is sick. Right now it's just sitting in our loading dock, and I can't drive it because I don't have a license yet. A license plate. We got to get a custom license plate.

Yeah, Vanny, I don't know.

What if it just said Zach?

That'd be sick.

That would be sick. Zach, what's your fire fest?

My firefest. The week is so earlier in the week, we had a group shoot around me, Hank Memes, and Max with the automatic rebounding machine. And I'm curious if this has happened.

To you guys before.

Have you ever thought back to, like, the last time you did something and you performed okay at it? And you're like, oh, this will be fun.

This will go all right.

Like, I can do this.

Yeah.

Softball. I had that exact same thought going into shoot around day with the boys.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, I'm gonna make.

Some shots here today.

It's gonna Be great. Nice workout. Good sweat.

Bricks the entire time. You didn't make any shots?

No, they weren't that bad.

You guys are great teammates, and I.

Appreciate you saying that. There would be like a. An 8, 9 shot run, and then, you know, it's going back. It's like. Then you hear that one goes in.

It's like, great shot. It's like, I'm not gonna be able to reproduce that. Yeah, it was the only one. Yeah.

Came short of the net a couple times. That was. That wasn't the best.

But you.

You.

You hit a couple. You had multiple times.

You had two in a row.

Would you just describe golf for me? Like, where I'll have one good shot on 18, and then I'll come back and be like, I think I'm good now. And then, like, no, I'm not. I'm really, really bad.

What's your game normally like? It's the worst feeling in the world historically. Not the worst.

I thought going into the shoot around, maybe better. All time low as right now.

Zach was looking up YouTube videos on how to shoot a basketball before we.

We went out. That's good. Some refreshers.

Yeah, I'm prepared. You're a sponge. You're coachable.

Yes, sir.

Refresh Monday. Gun day, though.

We're doing it every Monday.

All right. What time?

I don't know.

Afternoon.

Afternoon.

All right.

I'm in after the act. Yeah.

Yeah, I haven't. I need to get my shot back. We start doing runs again, too. Yeah, tomorrow I'm gonna be.

I can't do tomorrow.

I gotta golf for big noon.

Cook off. You're coughing.

Tomorrow you should play basketball, though.

Tune in to big noon kickoff. By the way, I'll be on the show on Saturday for maybe Evanston. So I got a bunch of different things also. Fyre fest. We did, like, the meeting for big noon kickoff. And they're like, what do you have for this matchup? And I was like, I. I've said this before, but I have a long standing theory that Evanston at 11am is the toughest place to play in the country. And then Fox has a stats person who looked it up to try to give me some juice for it. It was like 9 out of 12 were just Wisconsin losses. It was just like, like. This is probably why I was like, yeah, that is why my firefighter didn't invite me to golf. Oh, that is actually really tough.

Damn.

Ooh. Friendship on the rocks.

Invite me to softball.

You can't catch an infield, papa.

I wasn't so my teeth bar still after dark.

Oh, yeah, the Barcelona after dark was bad. You tortured yourself.

Yeah, my bodies will never recover.

Good news is you'll get to run that mile with while drinking milk. No, I never agreed to that. Yeah, you would. No, I never agreed to that. All right, numbers. 3. Good job memes.

Bang.

Way to go. 22, 33.

I'm going 5, 9.

What was your backup memes?

Bryce and Kyler.

89. 89. Why did you tell him that?

26, 99. 76.

6. 23. 23 in 33.

Can I tell you guys something real quick? I'm very proud of Zach. For what? So you alluded to the milk mile thing that he might have to do. Yeah, that Max might have to do.

Max is doing.

I overheard. I overheard one unnamed barstool employee who's in charge of rounding people up and making them sign waivers to do this milk mile thing. And they approached Zach and laid the sales pitch on thick. Like, tried to bully Zach into signing this thing. Pretty much put the pin in his hand.

Yeah.

And moved his hand for him, thinking that they could steamroll Zach. Zach recognized immediately what was happening, and he stopped him. And he goes, I just want to say it feels like you are very prepared for this conversation, and I'm not prepared at all to have this conversation that you're asking me to do. So I need to regroup and I need to take a big feet and I can circle back and get to tomorrow. And I will let you know if I want to sign, if I do not want to sign. Just absolutely stiff armed Good job, Zach. It was awesome. Zach.

Did you sign?

Still sign. But what I heard was very impressive out of Zach to find his boundaries and said, you're crossing it. I'm not gonna say the guy's name, but it's Tate. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna dance for you, Tate. And then he was like, okay.

Yeah.

And then he came over the top.

Good job, Zach. I'm proud of you.

Yeah. Ready to run?

Yeah, let's do it.

All right, Love you guys.