Transcript of Summer S’pouses Episode 1

Summer Spouses with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Avsesian, and Matt Gourley, and Liza Powell O'Brien, Tak Baroian, and Amanda Lund.

Hey there and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Uh, we're doing something different today. Let me take you back in time. For a number of years now, in the summer, we have done a series, a segment called Summer S'mores. I think it began as an offshoot of my bitter complaint that I thought s'mores was a terrible failure as a dessert and a snack.

I don't think it's a failure.

Failure.

We don't need to litigate this.

You can dislike it, but you can't say it's a failure.

We're not going to litigate this again.

Okay, I'm just— but you can say you don't like it.

The response I had on the internet was fantastic. People said, "I agree with you, Conan. It's a snack that no one really enjoys, but they pretend they do." It's like Atlantic City. You're supposed to enjoy it, then you get there and it's terrible.

It is not the same as Atlantic City.

Bucket of diarrhea. Here we go. So—

Oh, not a failure.

Okay, great. So any hoots.

Yeah.

But failure. But anyway, my point is that that was a series, and then it grew into us doing all kinds of— mostly drinking. There was a lot of drinking in Summer S'mores. You, Matt, would unveil these incredible cocktails. Sona, you would go to town on these cocktails.

I would.

And then after you had tea many martoonies, you would— we would say and do things people really enjoyed. And we did that for a number of years, and it was fun while it lasted.

Yeah.

We thought, let's try something different this time around. And so, ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the beginning of an exciting new series. It's exclusive to this summer 2026, and it's called Summer Spouses. Just like summer s'mores, but spouses, S and then the little apostrophe, pouses.

Which I guess we're saying is really the full title is Summer Some More Pouses. Yeah, some pouses. So if you're going off the s'mores thing, when you—

S'mores or s'mores because it's S apostrophe more. Yeah, s'mores.

Some more.

Some.

Question. When you took us down this little alley, did you know it would be a dead end, or in your case, a dud end?

Or this was me just taking a bullet to get you guys off fucking arguing about s'mores.

Yeah, we were off that. If you listen to the tape, you'll find that we were safely in new territory. I find you guilty on all counts.

All right, fair enough.

And Sona, s'mores bad. So here we are at summer spouses.

Is it Spouses or spouses? Oh my God.

Okay. I'm just gonna plow ahead without you. I am dissolving this parliament.

Spouses.

And I'm charging ahead. I have now, like Napoleon, I'm just gonna make myself emperor.

Should we explain what this is and how it will unfold? How about that?

We are going to chat amongst ourselves. Then we are going to, one episode at a time, bring one of our spouses in here. And so we are going to bring in Amanda, Matt. We're gonna bring in Jason. Tak Sona. And Liza has agreed, uh, to come in and join the podcast for the first time, providing she doesn't have to be married to me anymore. Oh, okay. Finally, she was on once to plug her podcast, I believe. Oh, that's right, she was on, she was on. Okay, all right. So she has technically been on once. But anyway, um, so this is going to be exciting, and, uh, I'm looking forward to it. I don't know what's going to happen.

And we should also mention there are two episodes past that So it's just us, then each one of them gets an individual episode, and then the 5th episode is just the 3 of them without us.

Yes, oh my God. It's going to be Tak, Amanda, and Liza, just them in a room talking.

Yeah.

And then I think for the final episode, it's us, them, and a bunch of attorneys. That's gonna be a long episode. But you're really gonna get to see all of our assets, which is pretty cool, pretty cool. I'm looking forward to that. So—

Are we gonna drink?

No, there's no drinking in this one, but you can take as many gummies as you like. And again, shout out to our gummy friends. What's their name again?

Kamino. I've been going to town on those things.

Have you? Really?

Yeah, I'm really—

I have not. I'm still cautiously waiting.

Oh my God.

No, wait. Cautiously waiting. I thought it was like wine. You should really let it— I have a gummy cellar.

No, it's the opposite. They're just gonna turn into weird little husks.

Okay.

You're letting your gummies age?

Yeah, I have a little gummy rack in my basement and I go down and I'm like, well, these ones are— these mellow me. Now these are chill over here.

He's smoking some of them.

And then you blow dust off them when you take them out. This gummy was from 1844, was owned by James K. Polk. Yeah. Can you imagine a gummy sommelier coming to your table?

Yeah.

He's talking to you about what you want. He's thinking. And then He brings you a tiny, tiny little shred of gummy.

Yeah.

For the tasting.

For the tasting. And then you swish it around in your mouth.

Yeah.

And then you spit it out and then he slaps you.

I don't know.

I just picture you going, puh, and him slapping you. It's just, it's part of the tradition.

That's the whole small intestine.

Anyway, this is, this was, I believe, Matt, if I'm correct, this was your brainchild.

I suppose so.

And I like this. I think it's fascinating. It's real. Shit's gonna get real.

How do you think it's gonna go?

Like, what do you, what do you think?

Are we gonna make it through this?

Is it gonna be are we gonna be just lighthearted, or are we gonna, you know?

I think, well, Tack's nervous.

Why is he nervous? Because he, first of all, uh, he is an incredibly genial, funny guy. He seems like a natural. Why would Tack be nervous?

Because this is outside of his wheelhouse. This is weird for him. But also, you know, every time you mention him, it's either you're talking about him being responsible for Chernobyl.

No, I never said— no, wait a minute, I didn't say he was responsible. I never said he was responsible.

You did say he was responsible.

I didn't say he was responsible. I said that he went to it— he went to a summer camp near Chernobyl. Well, Yeah, but I never said it was his fault.

Just make a note to ask him if he is indeed responsible for Chernobyl.

If there's tape, I want to roll it of you saying he's responsible for Ukraine. But I also don't want anyone to do work. So if we can't find—

I'm looking at you like, what the hell are you doing?

No, no, I never said that. And now I know you did. But guess what? Now I suspect he was.

Oh yeah, there is a bit of a Lady Duff protest.

He was playing softball near Chernobyl and hit a high fly. It went into the core reactor. Meltdown.

This is exactly what I don't want you to do when he's here.

Then why did you bring this up?

Because I'm laying out rules to make him comfortable.

Don't tell me what I can't do because then I'll do it.

Okay.

But it's like when I read ads on the show.

Yeah.

They always give me 3 sheets that say, don't say this product will kill you. Don't say this product was responsible for the deaths of 10. And I'm thinking, why are they— that would never have occurred to me. But now that they've put it in my head.

Yeah.

Tic Tacs are murderous.

Oh, I don't say— I don't want you to say chop. When you talk about karate. Like, I don't want you to say, "Oh, chop in the air." I hear you all the time.

We all know that he's a karate champion. He just got his black belt. And I've just always pictured him saying, "I chop, I chop you," as he chops.

I know. Can you just not say the word "chop" when you talk about karate? What is wrong with you?

You keep putting these things in my head that you tell me not to think about.

Okay.

And it's like that episode where Germans come and stay at Fawlty Towers, and they keep saying to John Cleese, "Don't mention the war." And it's like, at the end, he loses his mind and starts goosestepping around the dining room. That's what you're doing right now.

That's awful.

You're planting this in my head, so stop it. Okay. Just stop it.

Okay.

I love Tak. He's really funny.

Yes.

He's multi-talented.

Yes.

He's a superstar.

Agree.

I've always said that you and Tak are the JFK and Jackie of the Armenian set. You really are. They're a glamorous, cool couple. Who's a cooler Armenian couple than you guys?

There's a lot of really cool— cool ones.

Probably. I just haven't looked into it. Um, I don't think you know a lot now. Okay, so I think he's going to be great. I think I really do, and I'm a massive fan of his. Matt, let's talk about, uh, I mean, first of all, uh, you've this beautiful wife, very talented. Uh, Amanda has— she's a performer, she's a natural. I think that she'd be built for this.

Oh, I think so.

She's very breezy and comfortable in these situations. I think she'll have a blast with Tak and Liza. Uh, she's done many podcasts of her own. We're some kind of weird podcasting family.

I think there's a good chance, now that I'm thinking about Tak, thinking about Amanda— Liza is incredibly smart and funny. I'm thinking now that they will replace us.

That's what I was saying.

There's a real danger of losing this.

This was stupid. I wish we had married dunderheads and idiots. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Just, uh, this was a mistake. I think you might be right. But we've announced it. It's going to happen. And I also believe in the freedom of the marketplace. Pure capitalism. If we can't hang on to this podcast, we deserve to lose it.

But maybe it's the perfect plan because we lose it, but the money still stays in the family. Oh, we don't have to work, you know what I mean?

I'm pretty sure my wife would immediately set up a separate account. Liza comes from Scottish— they are very— her dad is super smart, frugal. Uh, yeah, I think she would start— she's saying about the Scottish, I'm curious. Yeah, Don't you know this old saw about the Scottish? They're, they're, oh, they're quite tight with their money. They're very careful with their money. And that's a compliment. They're really, they can make their money last a very long time. Oh, good for them. Yes. That's a famous old stereotype.

Scottish.

And if it's old, congrats. Thanks. If there's a stereotype that's a really old one and it's about white people, you're allowed to have fun with it. That's true.

That's true.

Boy, those Scottish people are cheap.

Amanda's very frugal too. You know what else? So she might, she's the frugal one in our family. Mm-hmm.

And she got some Scotch blood in her. I can really double down on this.

Yeah.

Whoa. We're gonna get sued by some Scottish Scottish guy of the country? What, are they gonna come after me? I don't think so.

Yeah, with his kids.

Oh, the cast of Trainspotting is after me. What am I gonna do? And by the way, we won't even understand them in court. Now they're coming.

Yeah, now they're coming after you.

Oh my God.

They try and sneak up. Oh, I'm not worried about them coming because they'll try and sneak up on me. They'll drop their bagpipes. You always know they're coming 20 minutes beforehand. Anyway, who had this Scottish slander on their bingo card for this episode?

I loved your Scottish accent.

I'm telling you, this is my new rule. If it's about a white group of people who, you know, have been around for thousands and thousands of years, go to town. Yeah, those Lutherans.

Well, don't get me started on the Welsh.

Yeah, I think this is, uh, this is a worthwhile experiment. We have fans. Also, I'm gonna bring this up. Oh, people see us as just these remote figures who have unattainable fame. They look at Sona and Gorli and myself and they just think of us, you know, like, oh, those are like founding fathers of podcast comedy. They're unapproachable. They're up in the clouds. They're made of marble. It's too perfect. Our spouses will, for the first time, bring us to life. Yeah. You'll start to maybe hear about some of the foibles we have. That's right. We may have foibles. We may even have, I don't know, maybe you guys have a flaw. We might hear about some things that make us human, bring us down from Mount Olympus, and we might, maybe breathe some life into us.

I love that you think that after years of listening to us, people think we're flawless.

I maintain that we have held ourselves up with this impossible ideal. Do you know what I mean?

Oh my God.

And so people just picture us like wearing togas, standing astride a cloud.

I've never had more dirty laundry aired in my life than on this goddamn dog and pony show.

How many times my family has been embarrassed by me? Like, just the things I've said.

What I'm saying is we were just talking about how I get drunk.

A lot on Summer S'mores.

So yeah, that's why— I mean, we were going to do another Summer, but your counselor talked to us.

Honestly, so did the law. Yeah, the law.

Oh, me? Oh, you're— you—

well, that's just your Dr. Feelgood.

That's all. We, um, you were there with me. I am excited about this. I am honestly a little bit anxious. Yeah, I don't know what's going to happen, um, and but Liza's not gonna discuss my bedwetting. I think that's off the table.

Who do you think will be the most candid of the three of them?

That's interesting.

Amanda. You think so?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I was thinking maybe Liza, but maybe not.

Liza will be very candid. Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think she may see this as, you know, Summer Spouse's revenge.

Yeah. Time to get some things on record.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She may see this as a chance.

What if this ends up becoming some, like, admissible evidence in court somehow? You know what I mean?

Why would we be in court?

Well, like, we're getting divorced.

Well, first of all, we're going to see—

The courts for Scotch are taking us to court.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So all of Scotland is taking me in, um, and, uh, you know, but, you know, I think I can handle them. No one around in their dresses.

Um, dresses, Conan!

Oh my God, my tartan!

Uh, I am Scottish. I don't even know why I'm sitting here taking this, you know, because you're just—

what are you gonna do?

What is your— by the way, what is your— yeah, what is your genetic makeup? And that's a fair question to ask people. Yeah, what are you made of? Are you— how much— how Scotch are you? Because Liza, I think, She's a good dose of Scottish. She's like half Scot— I think she's a mixture of Scottish, Welsh. Well, she'll tell us. What am I doing? She'll tell us.

I'm Scots-Irish, which is really mostly Scottish, and then English for the most part.

So you have a tiny bit of Irish.

I have, I think it was like 16 or 20% Irish or something. Oh, shit.

So exotic.

It's hilarious to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I know.

I adore it. I was laughing the hardest.

I know. It is. To me it is. When you're 100.000% Irish.

I know.

And this guy comes in, I'm like, whoa, it's a Rastafarian. Hey man, an exotic blend of Welsh, Irish, Scottish, 3 villages that were 8 miles from each other. It's basically you're describing a bog. Yeah, that's what you're describing. Um, I'm looking forward to this. I think it's going to be good. Now here's the big question: who's looking after kids? My kids are in their late 50s. That is not a concern for us.

This was a big thing for us. I don't know about you, but both my girls are coming here. And luckily, Adam's daughter is going to play with my oldest daughter, Glenn.

Aww.

And then Sarah, who's also been on the Summer S'mores series before along with Amanda.

Let's give your daughter a shout out. She's doing a good job. Adam, speak up.

Yes, uh, Golda, my 11-year-old daughter, loves, loves, loves little kids. She's gotten to hang out with Glenn before and like, She's just in heaven when she gets to play with little kids.

And so she—

Glenn loves children.

We had a little bit of a crisis moment. We were trying to figure out how do we make sure that everyone has their kids handled. And I was like, oh, I asked Golda, would you want to come to the office and play with Glenn? And she flipped out.

She was so excited.

Amazing.

That's terrific.

So it worked out for everybody.

And then my sister-in-law Sarah is watching our 6-month-old here.

I have a private detective watching my kids who are on the East Coast right now. But he keeps a safe distance. And Sona, what have you arranged for childcare? What are those monsters up to?

Well, you know, you know, we have very involved grandparents.

Oh, I know.

So I went to drop my boys off at my parents' house and I thought it was just going to be my dad. And it was my dad, my mom, and my in-laws. So they heard the boys were going to be there and they just came to the house. So the boys are—

we got a 2-to-1 ratio right now, which is what you need with those kids now.

Yeah. Oh my God.

Mikey and Charlie are— I mean, they're a force to be reckoned with.

They are. They're just nonstop. It's just like constant energy. I can't keep up anymore. I'm done. I'm going to call it.

You're gonna call it?

Yeah, I'm just gonna—

You're tapping out?

I'm tapping out. I think I'm done. It's okay.

Look, they love you. They'll swing by occasionally. They'll say hi.

This is the third reason we're going to court.

Okay. All right, so what happens now? Do I have more business to lay out here?

Do we have questions to ask them? Are we going into this with a plan, or are we doing a Summer S'mores way, baby?

Yeah, man. Yeah, man. We've given them some content for their episode alone, figuring we're seasoned podcasting professionals.

Like you said, podcasting—

I mean, I think we're killing it right now.

I went on a 30-minute Scottish rant. We talked about how Tak maybe had hit a softball into Chernobyl. Other than that, I mean, this is good stuff. This is solid stuff. I'm going to say this is grade A chop right now. Chop beef.

Get it out. Yeah, get it out.

Does he ever, when he's striking someone with his karate hand, say, I chop you, I chop you?

He does not say I chop you. You've asked this before.

Can I say something? When I watch World Cup And you've seen this, Eduardo. You and I have watched some World Cup games together. All I do is narrate the people playing, and all they're saying is, "I kick it. Now I kick it. I kick. I kick.

I kick." Isn't it awful watching with him?

Now I've grown to like it.

Yeah. What?

And also, when the ball's in the air and they're doing headers, I go, "Boing." No, you don't like this. I do. You have to say that. You know what? If someone watches soccer with me, or as I like to call it, because I'm a citizen of the world, football. Oh God. I make all these noises and I narrate different guys in different voices saying, "I kick, I kick, now I kick, I kick, I kick back, I kick." I do that and I know later on when they're watching it alone, my voice comes into their head sometimes. Has that happened yet, Eduardo? I don't think it's happened yet. Well, you just need more time with me. More time with me.

Oh, the World Cup is over.

Oh, don't worry, they're going to have more of these matches.

No, there's no more. Soccer.

It's all done.

You're calling that too?

Yeah, I'm calling soccer too.

So this is, you know, this is a worthy moment for our podcast. We're going to become real human figures, not the remote Greek gods you've known to love. And I think fear to some degree. You'll see us as flesh and blood for the first time, you know. And don't act like you're bored with my speech. This is a good speech.

Is it a good speech?

It's also a really good speech.

Repeat of one we just heard 10 minutes ago.

I know, I looped around. I thought I'd give you I'm gonna pass at it. Okay.

Here, why don't you read this speech?

Oh, okay. He's handing me the rap sign right now. Okay. We are going to wind this down, but you've gotta stay tuned next week because that's when the fun really begins. Tell us what's gonna happen in that episode.

First up is my wife, Amanda.

Ooh.

Amanda. And would you like to give her a last name?

Lund.

Yeah.

Lund.

Did she take your last name? She did.

Legally. She took it and then threw it back. Like when a dog eats some soap accidentally, it spits it out. Um, she took it for 8 seconds and then went, uh, a Gorli came out and rattled on the floor like some rusty keychain.

Blup, clang.

That's a beautiful name. Not that Gorli isn't a beautiful name.

Her name, yeah.

It's much better.

It is.

Liza, I'm gonna say this in Liza's defense, she has a beautiful name, Liza Powell, and with one L because she comes from this storied family, Philadelphia, the Revolution, the history. You know, she's related to these historic figures. And then I was like, "Well, guess what?

Now you're O'Brien." Let's throw punctuation in there.

Yeah, let's throw some punctuation in there. It never comes up right on a hotel reservation. "We're sorry, we don't have you here. Try this." Try an apostrophe. Nope, our computer doesn't take apostrophes. Or Irish. Uh, so stay tuned because, uh, next week Matt, Amanda's coming to town and we're gonna find out some stuff. Oh, stay tuned. Summer spouses. Summer spouses. It's not better on the way.

It's not better.

It's much better. I win. It's not—

it's more—

it's bad.

It's terrible.

Quiet. You're fired. Terrible.

I win.

I really—

Cutting the mics in 3, 2, 1.

Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Obsession, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leão. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, and Brit Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get 3 free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com/Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.