Transcript of Spinal Tap Live From The SiriusXM Garage

Hey, Conan O'Brien here. We're trying a little something different on this episode because it's a very special episode. We're going to start out with fans, people who are here in the audience telling you how they feel about being Conan O'Brien's friend. But let's see what's on people's minds. Hi, my name's Eric D. I feel wistful about being Conan O'Brien's friend. My name is Rebecca, and I feel vengeful. I feel elated. Over-eager. So, so. Nervous. Lacteosintolerant. Unprepared. Cutiously optimistic. I feel fine. Honored. Ginger chic. Fantastic. Swell. Fabulous. Stupendous. Unoriginal. Special. Vertically challenged. Shocked. Convinced. Short as fuck. Perpascular. Sneaky. Silly. Choice. Stoked. In awe. Anxious. Electric. Stunned. Unworthy. Shaking. Nostolic. Suspicious. Gerberlake. Committed. Felice. Razzmatazz. Lucky. Thankful. Flacid. Mental. Confusive. Kosher. Apprehensive. Nuts. Blessed. Ecstatic. Aroused. Grr. We excited. Everything. Rad ass. Eep. Hi, my name's Amanda, and I feel frog about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Thank you. Thank you very much. Please, please, please. Don't chant the cone, and it sounds like a Salem witch trial. Very nice to see you. A gentleman tried to high five me, fist bump on the way in. I don't do well with those. If you saw me on the street, would you hold up your hand?

I never make a good connection. I'm usually holding something. I apologize to that gentleman, but those frighten me. All right. Also, that can be confused for a fascist salute, which would have been funny five years ago, but now it's getting scary. How are you all doing? You're ready to go? All right. This guy over here grew the beard that I had about eight years ago. Fantastic. That's my beard, man. I want it back. How are you? How long did it take you to grow Six hours? Six hours. Wow, you're just infused with testosterone. Mine took nine years. I mean, it sneezzed and it fell off. This is a very special show that we have today. These guys are my heroes. I will time travel with you to 1984. I'm an incredible comedy nerd. I'm in Cambridge, Massachusetts. And one of my friends says, I believe it was Mark Silber said, Hey, let's go see Spinal Tap. It just came out. I hear it's funny. I said, What is that? He said, You never seem to know anything. Your career will flounder. And we took the tea over to a theater, and we saw Spinal Tap, and it opened so many doors in my mind to what was possible in comedy.

I just saw you wearing the Konan shirt. You look lovely. How are you? Okay. All right. How are you? Nice to see you. I used to go, and I go, like a cat with leukemia. Sorry, dark image, but it happens. It happens all the time. Okay, that was nothing. My point is that that movie meant so much to me. If you had told that guy, I'm not at all jaded. I'm very sentimental, and I have a very good contact with the young Konan of 1984, and I'm able to access that guy. And he's freaking out right now because he's going to hang out with the people who changed his life all those years ago. So that's awesome for me. And it's nice that you're all here to take part in that. I think we're going to have a very good time. Clay, the Spinal Tap guys, they mean anything to you? I know you're very young. When I say young, you're in your late 50s. Iconic. I'm so excited. Okay, very good. You've been working on that answer all day. He was riding in his car. Iconic. I'm so excited. Iconic. I'm so excited. Iconic.

Excited me I am. We're going to have a good time. We're going to have a great time. I've been looking forward to this show for a while. Look, there are times I'm talking to a guest and I absolutely loathe them. I think you could tell oliphant. I mean, people I despise. I think we just saw that when you talk to me. Yeah. Well, no, we've never done it. You've never been a guest on the podcast. Oh, that's true. For a good reason. You and I are oil and water in the best way. We make a good salad dressing. I think we should get the show started. Thank you all very much for being here. You're a big part of this show, and we're going to have a good time. But really, there is no Conor Bryant needs a friend without two of my good friends, and I say that in quotes because I want to create some emotional detachment from them. Sona Mouvsessian and Matt Gora. Let's get him in. It's a very long corridor to get from backstage to this. It's a strange setup here at SiriusXM in LA. And so what happens is, what people are hearing at home is a sustained applause, like our screening of our movie at the Venice Film Festival just air.

Oh, like a 10 minute. And it's getting a nine minute because that's people very graciously applaudding and cheering after we've been announced, but then 10 minutes of us walking and avoiding high-fivers. I see you, you son of a bitch. In the hallway, it's this long walk, and that creates the audio illusion for the people listening at home that you guys got that long sustained applause. We were right outside the door when you called us. No, you weren't. Yeah, we were. No, you weren't. And we walked in and they just wouldn't stop. I announced you, and I have access to your app. You called an Uber. You called an Uber as I announced you. You have access to my app? I have access to all your apps. You perverse. I have access to your own app. I have access to your apps, and that's true. Do you know that I can't post on social media? I'm not allowed to. I'm like Ronald Reagan with the nuclear codes. They won't let me near any way that I could possibly start ripping spontaneously online. And so, Sona, I would have to call you. Yeah, that's true. If I want to order a burger on GrubHub, not a sponsor, I would have to call you.

I do that with my wife, too. I'm like, Can you order the pizza that's next door? Can you do it? My email is attached to your Uber and the food delivery services. So every time you order something or an Uber, it pops up and I know exactly where you're going. I know exactly what you're eating. So we have some questions about some places you've been going. I didn't know Hooters delivered. I was just stunned. Wait, Stacy's a wonderful lady. Stacy with an eye and it's a little heart. She comes and delivers it and we just chat about how the Berlin wall fell and it just all kinds of fascinating stuff. We have some interesting facts about this audience. Do you know that some of them come from far and wide to be here? I would hope so, because this is a... Of all the shows we've done, this is going to be up there with one of the most important ones. I think so when you hear this, not only Toronto. Where are you? Awkward. Oh, that is so awkward. Maybe they didn't make it here. Awkward. Wait, who gave you this information? I think it's just- You don't need the mic, wait.

I love that your mic doesn't even work. You don't need it, though. That's the thing. You don't need your mic. Just speak. You don't have to- You're so close to the microphone, too. If anything, could you step out of the room and just talk at a whisper? We'll still hear you. You're the loudest person we know, and you're in a small room. You inserted it into your mouth. Maybe just Canada. I thought it was Toronto, but maybe just Canada. Canada? No, maybe Canada. Oh, my God. I don't know. How about California? Okay, good. Wait a minute. Well, Clay, you came to us all gitty, and you said I've got some info. It's going to be rocket fuel for the top of the show. We've got someone from Toronto. We don't have anyone from Toronto. Is there anyone out there? There's other places. There's other places. Oh, there is someone outside. It's high five McGee. Yeah, But that's not all. Yes. Mexico. Oh, my God. Right there. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Wow. And then finally- Very reluctantly raised his hand. I know. You are welcome here We're happy to have you. Yes. Hola, como esta. Please let this one be real.

New Zealand? Wow. There we go. Just for the show. No, no. Can I tell you something? People say, when they see a guy like Clay, they say, I came all the way just for the show. But whenever I question these people for more than two seconds, it's, well, of course, I'm getting a heart replaced while I'm here at Cedar Sinai, and I had an extra hour. So were you here just for the show? Be honest. Yes. I I knew it. Whenever someone says just for the show, it's not true. No one. And first of all, I don't blame you, sir, although I'm going to ask you to leave. It's just what happens. You're like cable news. Guys, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about that. You get excited. You get very loud and you get very excited, and then your information is all wrong. I've been here for two and a half months. I've been here for two and a half minutes. I've been here for two. I'm not making fun of you. I'm trying to perfect my accent. Wait a minute. How is this not making fun of me? I'm not making fun of you.

By the way, I'm just making fun of her. I'm not making fun of you. I'm a student in accents. This is what I do. Is it really? Yes. This podcast is in my real job. Could you do Australia and then do Okay, so Australia means putting all the shrimp in the barbie, park the car in the car park, mate. No, that's someone that's at the dentist having their teeth. Park the car in the car park. That's someone with a terrible facial wound. Park the car in the car park. That's John F. Kennedy. Park the car in the car park. Okay, stop it. You know what I love? You're my assistant. I hired you as my assistant, and now you're out here doing 10 minutes of impressions. I, honest to God, don't know what's Oh, you want French? Don't give us your French guy. Oh, the French is very easy. That's pretty good. French is very easy. It's unbelievable. I hired her to help with correspondence. Get me into the DMV and out. Yeah. No, now you're doing this. Balloon animals. Do you do balloon animals? You would. I mean, you got to- Should I do a yes and?

Yes and I do balloon animals and I do face painting. That's good improv. Should I do Yes, Anne. Welcome to the Unconfident Improf Trope. Yes. Welcome to my Candy Shop. Should I do Yes, Anne? Yes, Anne? Yes, Anne. I wasn't making fun of you, I promise. I feel like I'm just becoming an accent expert. She's very good at it. I was just doing a study. She did nail you because you did- I've been here. You went, I've been here. I've been here. Well, you're welcome. I hope that the business that you're doing here is productive. You've been here a long time, and then you, I guess, found this ticket on the street? I love up front, you created this, People have come from all over the world. Got to, I was in Glendale and getting my car wash next door here in Central Hollywood. What do you say? Should we get going? I think it's time. It's very exciting. Let's do this. Let's do it. We are very excited. This is really happening. My guests today are absolute legends of rock and roll and known as one of England's loudest bands. Their new documentary, Spinal Tap 2: The End Continues, such a great title, is in theater, September 12th.

I am very honored that they are here today. These gentlemen changed my life. I think they changed many lives of people here. Yes, definitely. Please welcome Filmmaker, Marty De Bergie, and members of Spinal Tap, Nigel Tufnell, Derek Smalls, and David St. Hubbins.

Thank you.

Hello. We are Spinal Tap, and we feel... What do we feel?

About what?

About being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Mixed, right?

So mixed. So far, mixed. Mixed. Marty, mixed?

Marty.

Well, I'm very happy to be Conan's friend. Well, that's where the mix comes in. I'd like anybody to be my friend, and I can be yours.

It's not a two-way street. Oh. Yeah. I hate to break it to you.

It's not even a street.

You look so much smarter with the glasses on.

Oh, thank you. You like the glasses, huh? Isn't that nice?

You're shorter, too. While you're sitting down. That's true.

I'm going to go with mixed. You feel mixed because we don't know what's going to happen today.

One of us. We're all the same and we're all completely different.

Let me begin by telling you it's an honor to have you here. It really is. I made this very clear to my audience before he came out. I saw your original film, This is Spinal Tap, the documentary made by the great Mario D. Bergie in 1984, and it changed my life. I was not aware of your band.

In what way did it change your life? For the worst.

It changed it for the worst. I went into a long depression.

It must have been an open wound before this film.

Did it make you taller? I came out during, I think, the second Obama administration. I recovered myself. But a deep depression But it really did in so many ways. It introduced me to your work that I was not aware of. I hate to say that, but I really wasn't. I just missed.

No, don't hate. No.

Okay, the final- But you said it. What's that? But you said it. I know. I did say it, and it was wrong. It was wrong to say it, and I apologize. I just was unaware. I won't use the term niche, but somehow your ouvra had escaped me. Then Marty did this incredible thing. He brought you to my attention. Marty, this has been 41 years since the original film.

Yes. I must say that this is the first time that I've ever been allowed to be on a stage with these gentlemen who I've admired for so many years. I was I'm always a big fan, and I've never been allowed to be on the stage with them.

You have it your full reason.

You keep that up, and it'll be the last time.

It doesn't feel like it's going well so far, but I think you will acquit yourself Well, Marty. Marty, I hate to bring this up, but one of the reasons that you got involved in this project is that you have struggled since you made the original This is Spinal Tap in 1984. You have struggled greatly. You have had difficulty finding employment.

I was hoping that when I made this as Spinal Tap, which, by the way, the members of the band were not too thrilled when they saw it. They called it a hatchet job, and they were not happy with how they were portrayed. I thought it was a loving portrayal, but I guess they felt differently. But I was hoping that it would basically boost my career, give me an opportunity to to do a Hollywood feature, which I finally was able to do. They did a sequel to a very important feature film that won an Academy Award. It was called Kramer versus Kramer with Meryl Streep and Dustin Hoffmann. I did the sequel, which was a Kramer versus Kramer versus Godzilla. It didn't do as well as I had hoped.

High concept.

It sent me into a tailspin, and I left the business for a while, and I went to a retreat, a retreat, which was the guru there was a gentleman by the name of a Baba Ramdass boat. I was trying to find myself, and one morning I was drinking my Spiralina smoothie, and I noticed in Deadline Hollywood that they were thinking of getting back that there was going to be another concert.

We were forced into it. There was a contract that was left dangling on the death of Ian Faye.

This was not born of inspiration. I have to say as many reunions are. Direct opposite. That you were contractually forced to get back together again, as is made clear in the new documentary. Induced. Induced. You were induced. It was an induced. It was an induced pregnancy. It was an induction. It was an induction. I'm glad that you did get back together. You brought so much joy to hundreds of people.

It gave us an opportunity. It did give us an opportunity to get back together again and break up again and then get back together again. I think we broke up once more since then, and now here we are. Third time, the ninth time.

Do we change seats at any point? No.

You're actually fine there.

We've talked about that format. It's called...

I wouldn't call it a format, exactly. It's more like just seats.

Three mat.

Okay. I was trying to put a nice gloss on what you had said. Okay. I wanted to ask you something, Nigel. I was very surprised when I saw the documentary, what you've been up to. You own a shop?

I do, yes. A cheese shop.

Well, not just cheese.

Not just cheese. No, cheese and guitars.

It's fascinating. You see this in the film. Someone comes in and I thought you could buy cheese or buy guitars, but you can trade cheese for guitars or trade guitars for cheese.

It's a barter system. They had back in prehistoric times, when there were dinosaurs, people would say,No.

No. The dinosaurs had no barter system.

When the people lived in the caves things, they would trade things.

I say someone comes in with a nice bre, and I'll say maybe a flying V for the brie.

The V for the You have to see.

I've got to weigh it, literally, and then play the guitar and vice versa as well. Yeah.

World of a zone. I saw that you were doing that business, and I thought, sometimes you see a business and you think, why didn't anyone else think of this? I didn't have that thought. Interesting.

Yeah. No, it's perfect for me because I like- Have you turned a profit yet? In what sense?

Monetary in a barter sense. Listen, I admire him, but he's a It lives in a world of its own.

David, what have you been up to? Bring us up to date because I don't want to spoil. Don't do too many spoilers, but it is revealed in the documentary. You've been living in Morrow Bay.

Morrow Bay, California. Anyone here for Morrow Bay? No, never. Really?

Toronto. People often do that, too.

Oh, they're all Toronto. Yeah, clearly. Except for the one New Zealander. That's right. Yeah. Well, I've been staying busy. I'm a bit of A bit of a star in Morrow Bay. There's not a lot of famous people there. They're all retired English musicians, all the famous ones. I happen to be number six or seven, but I'm having a Nice. I love it. I'm a total Californian now. I play a little bit of music on the side.

Tell us about your music career because you've managed to stay in the audio business, but in a way that surprised me.

Well, listen, I've got He's fairly proficient on the keyboards. Of course, all you need is about four or five keys and a computer and just pluck it out like this. I do a lot of scores for podcasts, crime podcasts. It's very rewarding.

Yes. You also record hold music, is that correct?

Yes. Oh, yeah. The music you get when you call up, that's not just pulled out of the sky. Someone has to do that. I'm able to express my inner middle of the road, if you will. It's not hard rock, it's not quite Dixieland. It's somewhere in between. What's in between hard rock and Dixieland?

I don't know, but you did win an award for that music.

I want to hold it. I did. I did. Very proud. That's true.

Also, I know maybe you don't want to put a light on it, but you do still play with a band, I noticed.

There's a bunch of blokes I get together with. I've really got it heavy into mariachi music. I've been writing tunes. Actually, some of them are traditional tunes, but I've been translating harder, more demonic lyrics into Spanish. With the help of Maria. Maria is my living chef, and she helps me with the lyrics. It's really fun. It's lovely.

Again, something when I saw it, I thought, this is not something I'd have thought of, or if I had thought of, I might have dismissed it immediately. But incredible. It's incredible.

It feels good from the inside.

Put it that way. Derek, you... You're pointing it me now. Yes.

Passed me to you, yes.

He also said your name, so.

Yeah. I thought that… Woke me right up. I thought the name was the main indicator, not the pointing. Main, but that's a bonus. Okay, you get both. You get the pointing and the name, Derek. That's right. You've confounded me instantly. You run a shop that sells glue.

No, it's not a shop. There's no profit.

It is the-So you're in the same business as the Sheezer. I zing you there. Sorry, man.

No, it's okay. But here's a different situation.

Yeah, mine's deliberate.

Okay.

People would say to me over the years, and not just me, but bass players generally, Well, you guys are the glue that hold the band together because these other guys are up there. Unglued. Unglued. One day I just thought, glue. You don't think about glue all that often. Never.

I hardly ever think about it.

Well, I did. I became, I guess you'd say fixated. Well, you wouldn't, but I'd say fixated. I've opened a museum of glue.

It's a museum. That's right. Some museums are for profit, so I think I've redeemed myself there. But we should move on. I think I'm getting into a little bit of a conversational cul-de-sac, if you will. Yes?

No, I'm just wondering why you're here. Yeah.

It's a good question.

I'm I'm in that way myself. Gentlemen, it has to sting that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has refused to induct you. You have such a body of work. There's a lot of it of what you do. People can debate the quality, but there's a lot of it. There's a tremendous amount of what you did. You have to admit, Marty, it's a shock. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame did not just pass on them. They stepped outside their lane a little bit.

Yeah, I think they They said they made a letter, and the letter came back, Go fuck yourself. Unusual. It was a little harsh.

It was a little harsh. That's not Hall of Fame language.

No, no, no.

No. It's just terrible. They rarely send a letter like that. Very rarely. They have Millie Vanille, I think, got one. Millie Vanille? Yeah. They got two. They got two. Yeah. Very nice.

Nilly and Vanille.

Yes.

But here's the irony.

Are you pointing at me? I am pointing at Because I'm pointing right back at you. But I didn't say your name. You don't know my name. I do.

It's that Spider-Man meme.

A bit frightening to be in the middle of it, to be honest.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame will not admit us, but in the gift shop, they sell Hello Cleveland T-shirts.

It's true, yeah.

It's not right.

It's not right. I hope you're getting a taste of that. No. You're not getting a taste?

No.

Well, I'm getting a taste, but that's a different thing.

It tastes like burnt toast.

That's a stroke symptom. I just want you to know.

No, no, no, no. You didn't like where I went. You're a doctor, I suppose.

Well, I watched enough television. I feel I can diagnose anyone.

Where did they hide the cameras? I'm a little bit confused. They're all filming.

That's a camera right there. Each person must have one.

There's one right there.

Especially the New Zealander.

Yeah, Yeah.

Can't trust them. Where in New Zealand are you from? I'm from Auckland. Of course. Auckland, really? I was there. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a lovely town.

Have you guys played Auckland?

Yeah, we did a thing there. I can't remember what it was, though.

These are terrific stories.

No, I don't want to embarrass you. Can you stand up? Not literally, but can you... Where are you?

There we are.

Oh, yeah. She's a bearded bloke. This is another stroke symptom.

I didn't meet you there. No. You look familiar from not meeting you there.

Gentlemen, let's address a very dark subject. You've lost countless drummers. How many, Marty, has it been?

Well, according to the band, I think it's 12. I think it's 12.

Even dozen. Even dozen. Yeah, an even dozen. And this latest film, and I'm not going to give anything away, but it begins with you looking for a new drummer. Why not just use a drum machine at this point?

We tried that. It died. Logged it in.

That's true.

We got about 10 bars into the tune, and then it went, No, I'm out. Fizzled.

Yeah, it's true. Just left this burn mark on the desk.

That's incredible. All right.

I don't think it's giving anything away from the film, but if you want, what happened to the last drummer that you had? Skippy Scuffleton.

Oh my God. Yeah, Skiffy Scuffleton, or Scuffy Skippleton or Skiffy Scuffleton. We never could get it straight. He had some entirely different name that he got paid through. But he had a terrible allergy to something. I thought it was the little berries inside the maracas that make the seeds. I think he was allergic because he'd never used them before. He played about half the day, and then he said, I'm feeling funny. He started sneezzing, and he never stopped until it all stopped. It It was pretty sad. He sneeded himself.

Is that the actual coroner's report that he sneeded?

No, there's a Latin term for that. It's a real thing.

Any Latins in? No.

What's the Latin term for sneezing yourself to death?

I don't know, but there is one because it's a medical thing.

You know there's a German one. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Gesundheit. Yeah. There you go. I mean, so much to catch up on with you guys because, again, it's been... I know you've had your reunions, but 41 years since the last film.

Can I ask you why you keep putting on and taking off your glasses?

I like to create different looks throughout the podcast. Two. Yes. I found it best, especially in an audio medium. In an audio medium, it's good to have two looks as opposed to one. No, I'm quite in stress. Can I just- Have you ever thought of a hat? I have thought of a hat, but that would obscure the hair, which is the trademark. You can really think about it.

Or contact lenses. Imagine taking out your contact lenses to make a point.

Listen here, Senator. That would be tough.

Very difficult.

How dare you, sir. I am able to do this in an interview is whip them off. Fantastic. It was that incredible?

I wasn't being critical.

I thought it was-It came across as critical.

Look, you're so sensitive. I am. That's why people like you, though. No, it's true.

I have to ask you because I'm a bit of a guitar enthusiast myself. Who are you talking to now? I'm pointing to you. Okay. Everyone pointed Nige. I've noticed that, Nige, you have no peripheral vision. None. You couldn't see a camera that's right there, and you have no idea where I am right now.

Well, I do. I could pinpoint it if you gave me a compass.

Has it hurt you in rock and roll to have no peripheral vision?

No.

No, I do have. I can see this. I can see this. I do. I was just being cheeky. Okay. Got it. What was your question?

I don't remember. You have a guitar that I absolutely adore. It's a guitar. It's beautiful. It has the Union Jack on it. But if you turn the guitar over, and this is featured in the film, Which is a surprise. I don't want to give it away.

Well, you have, but go ahead.

I haven't said what it is. There's a secret compartment in the guitar. I adore this guitar, and you have to see the film to see this guitar. It's wonderful. Is that a available for purchase? Could I buy one? Or is there only one, and is it yours?

They made one. It's just mine. I'm getting the feeling you want me to give it to you, though.

I'm glad you brought that up.

Nice it done. It's a wonderful guitar.

Yes, I expect that.

I have many, many guitars, and that's one of the really good ones.

You did invent that, though.

I did. I came up with the idea for it, and they built it for me.

Some of your inventions are great.

I have other inventions, yes, which have not been as successful.

No. Would you care to elaborate? Finger bowls for dogs. That was never going to happen.

Well, I had this folding wine glass, you see. That's true, yeah. Because I thought, if you're going on a picnic and you don't want to carry things, you want to just throw everything in, the glass folded in on four sides, so it had hinges on all the sides.

Were they completely waterproof?

No. What would happen is... All wine proof. If you're pouring, let's say, a Beaujolais, whatever, it doesn't really matter. It could be a Médoc or whatever, 81, it could be whatever it is, Château Nuf de Pat. It could be any number of things.

Just two more, please. Just a few more, yeah.

You pour it in and it just would leak out the bottom. By the time you raise it to your lips, your crotch was soaked in wine. That was that one.

You know, Marty, I want to bring you back in because there are some moments in the documentary, and I don't care if I'm giving anything away in the new one, but I was stunned. At one point, the lads, I'll call you the lads, even though you all served bravely in the Korean War. I want to say, settle down. I want to say I was stunned when Sir Paul McCartney enters the rehearsal space and starts jamming with them. I mean, even as a viewer, as someone who's met McCartney and myself, countless times, probably more than you guys have, and spent a lot of quality time with him. I mean, he's on my speed dial. We talk three times a day. But my point is, it was such a stunning moment, and I was He is the royalty of rock. He enters the room, and I'm going to say this right now, David, I didn't think you were kind to him initially. You seemed a little...

Well, that's a two-way street. We all have this picture of Paul, and he's the cute beetle and all that. Let's not go nuts here. I mean, he's just a person, and he comes in and he's throwing his weight around. I'm not going to tell you what it is. It was difficult for me because I'm a creative person, he's a creative person, but that doesn't mean we're going to be on the same page. We were stunned, to tell you the truth, when he came into the room. As he went his whatever he was doing, it struck me odd that he never mentioned your name. I know. You'd think.

He never brought up Conor O'Brien in one time.

No. I saw it.

I'll talk about that with Paul when I see. He didn't mention. We usually meet for Flan in West Hollywood around this time of day.

He didn't mention any O'Brien.

Okay.

I have a fear of Flan. Really?

Okay. That will be expunged from the record. Don't trust it. You will not. That will be edited out. The fear of Flan. We won't have a wordplay on this podcast.

It's better if people don't know it.

But, Marty, you were there when this amazing meeting of the Rock gods happened, and you knew to keep the cameras rolling. Well, of course. Then were you at all stunned that David was Paul offered one hint for a bridge on the song, and then David was less than gracious to Sir Paul McCartney. How did you feel about that moment?

Well, you know, see, I put David on the same level as Paul McCartney.

That's very sweet.

To me, they... From one musician, I don't take sides on this, and from one musician to another, He was basically denigrating what David was putting forth. Now, in all fairness, so was Nigel and so was Derek. They both hated what he was doing. It was three against one, but I But that's the great flaw in a democracy, isn't it?

What?

I think I've jumped ahead. But trust me, you'll catch me.

Nigel, Sir Elton John, joining you guys and revealing that he's a fan and has been a fan? Yes.

Well, it works both ways, as he says. He's a very sensitive chap. I've known him since we were kids. He's very sensitive. So the thing With Sir Paul, I wasn't surprised at that because he reacts like that sometimes. With Sir Elton, Two Sirs, amazing. He was so open to playing with us. It was great. It was really fantastic, I thought.

Two Sirs, no, madam. Nice.

Very nice. Again, I'm going to end all wordplay now. There'll be no more wordplay. Well, you're done. I think there's going to be one more before There you go. I won't say again. I don't want to spoil anything. I hope you've mended fences with Elton.

Oh, no, no.

It's difficult. Some things happen, and you're going to have to see this for yourself.

I meant to ask you that afterwards. Did he ever sue? Was there any lawsuits?

No. I didn't hear anything.

No.

Wouldn't he have sued you as well?

Probably.

Well, I got news for you. No news. It's good news. This is as of an hour ago, you've all has been served. You are being sued. Oh. Yeah. And it's a figure that's shocking.

Well, it won't matter much, will it?

Why is that? What was that?

What are they going to take?

A piece of cheese? No. Sir Elton John is taking possession of your cheese and guitar shop. I've been told. Don't think so. I don't think so.

The people in the village where I live with my girlfriend.

How come you put quotes around your girlfriend?

Why did you put quotes around your girlfriend?

That's for me to know, isn't it?

She's great. She's exactly what you've needed all along. Yes. Really, it's true. It's a lovely girl.

It's a cheese shop. The people in the village love it. They wouldn't allow that to be taken away You're boarded up, anything. It would not happen.

The town loves Elton John, and they're thrilled that he's taken away.

Well, you've never been to the town, so you don't know that.

You're just reading what I know. I read the local.

Reading what you don't know is what you do.

All right. Well, if we're going to... This is getting contentious, and I'm uncomfortable, and I feel a little bit like Paul McCartney sitting in the spinal tab. Unwelcome. Gentlemen, there's so many more questions I have for you. One is, you two fellows grew up together in Squantiny, I believe. Squatny, yeah.

East End of London. East End.

I've never heard of Squatny.

It's gone now.

How could it be gone? It's a place on the map.

Because most of it's been replaced by a Tesco. Okay.

Every city has areas that change or they're renamed. You know this?

Yes, but when you said it was gone.

It's gone in the sense. We can go to the street where we were, but it's not called that anymore. They incorporate other things, and then they have a new name or whatever they think.

The pub that we used to go to, the Queen's Lips.

Yeah, not that.

It's gone. Now it's an Apple store.

Yeah. It's all changed. It was a working class neighborhood. Yeah, it was lovely.

If you go to Liverpool, you will see little statues of the Beatles everywhere where you go. Is it like that if you go to Squantiny? I mean, you are heroes in Squatny. Is there any memorial? And Marty, do you think there should be in Squatny?

Well, of course, there should be. But as they say, they've changed this place so much. I don't know that the young people of today would even know what those statues represented.

I don't think I would know.

If you saw a statue to yourself, you wouldn't recognize that statue.

Have you ever seen the statue of Lucile in our hometown. Yes, they have. You've seen that, right? Yeah. We don't want that.

No.

They wouldn't put a statue of Lucile Ball there. They'd put a statue of you guys.

They'd put a statue of Lucile Ball before they'd put one of us.

Yeah, I think that's a fair point. Yeah. Derek, what a journey for you to go from being this iconic rock star to having a glue museum, a non-for-profit glue museum. When you got the that this was happening, you were getting back together with the band. Explain your emotional roller coaster.

No, there's so much a roller coaster as a Mery Grant.

So still a wheel, but turning in a different dimension.

Turning in a horizontal direction as opposed to a vertical direction.

Okay, all right. That's a good differentiation. Thank you. To make.

I didn't just have the Glove Museum. I was doing some telework and commercials and headverts, things like that.

But you also played with the symphony orchestra.

I did some of that, yeah. But I was promoting a crypto product called Broglicoin.

Broglicoin, yeah.

But I was happy to join the lads. In theory. In theory, yeah. It's been bumpy since.

It's been a long time. It's 15 years since we spoke in between.

But I like the bumps.

What is that noise?

Please, they're doing other podcasts, very popular ones all around us. Yeah, okay. Huge rock bands. Gentlemen, the mind boggles at the journeys that you have taken in rock and roll. Financially, how are you doing?

Oh, I get by. My friend Maria, I mentioned her before, my living chef and significant other. She does marvelously well on the catering circuit in the Central Coast. Okay. I don't have to worry about a thing, really. I do all these other musical things. They pay some of the rent and all this. Like I say, I enjoy a certain bit of stardom.

Is Maria She knew to you? Because she wasn't there when I first visited you.

On and off for six or seven years. You might meet her one day.

First, I'm hearing about it. No, I think financially, the shop seriously does get by, the cheese shop. We do make enough. We have a small house just outside the village. I'll get some residuals, as you'd call them here, royalties and things for music that we do. I play in a pub. I'm playing in a pub with a group, which is... That doesn't pay at all, actually.

I guess the point I'm making, and I don't want to tread on a sensitive area or be in any way cruel or rude, but I'm just going to go for this. You guys are in an iconic rock band. If you look at other rock bands from your era, I mean, Rolling Stones, Nabila, I mean, anyone involved in those groups is fantastically rich. We're talking about billionaires.

Some cases.

Some cases, Paul Reveal and the Riders. Huge. Rolling in it. Yeah.

No, no, no.

Excuse me. There are lots of people that didn't make a lot of money. Lots of people. Most people didn't make a lot of money. The famous ones, the ones you mentioned, obviously did. But there are lots and lots of people, hundreds of bands who played that were famous for a minute or two. Nothing. They have nothing.

Freddie and the Dreamers, for example.

Again, I have the facts on my fingertips. Freddie and the Dreamers are in the Forbes 500 last year.

No, you don't. Hugely successful. I can't make fun of Freddie and the Dreamers anymore.

No.

Or Jerry and the Pacebankers.

I have to be honest with you. That's one of the reasons I rejoined the band was financial difficulties.

Thank you for being honest. Thank you.

Thank you for noticing it. I had been, as I told you, promoting this cryptocurrency, and they paid me in cryptocurrency. When they went under, I went under.

So you have less than nothing.

I'm working my way back to nothing.

You also, Derek, I remember we didn't talk about it, but I think you also tried to start an amusement park, a tap land like Dollywood. Didn't you try to get them to make an amusement park-themed park based on tap?

I thought about it.

Well, you did think about it because you asked us the money.

You mentioned it to us. Well, I thought about that, too.

We sent you money.

You sent him money to create a final tap. Where did this money go? When you got the money from Nigel, what did you do with the money?

Built the glue museum. They don't grow on trees. Well, rubber trees.

Rubber tree, it actually comes from the tree. It's a terrible example.

What's the difference between glue, since I'm sitting with an expert, between glue and mucilage? Mucilage has got animal fat.

Very good. Thank you. What about Epoxy? Now, some people think I'm taking us into a very dry area.

You got to wait for it to dry. Yeah.

Okay. That is it. That is it. I'm not having any more workIt falls right apart. Don't applaud that. We're not having it.

What do you mean some people think?

I just think there's probably a discerning person in the audience.

Epoxy, which I use on a daily basis, by the way. Epoxy.

This is not an advert.

Completely different animal than what he does. Completely different thing. It's a scientific thing that has no organic elements at all.

It's just chemical, pure chemical.

What do you mean you use it on a daily basis? What do you with it on a daily basis?

Are you iron sides or something? What is this?

Iron sides. Lutti, how is that?

Oh, I'm a detective. I'm going to find out what he's doing.

What the fuck is that all about?

When was the last time you watched television? I'm just curious. I don't have a televisionIron Sides.

I don't have a television.

I have to tell you, no one's referenced Iron Sides, the TV show starring Raymond Bur in over 47 years.

That's my fault. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Look.

Don't.

I liked it when it was out in the '70s. We got them after you had to hear.

What was the name of the bloke that pushed him around? That's all I recall. There was someone pushing him around.

Again, I love... I'm getting into some areas I didn't think would get into. Who pushed Ironsides around on the original series? And that's something for-If one of you can answer that, well, just keep it to yourself.

My name, basically.

Well, did you have... You've now come back together again. And I know there's some difficulties that are well discussed and well chronicled in the documentary. Do you feel enthusiastic about the future of TAP?

That's two different things, the future and TAP.

The future of TAP is one thing. No, I see. What happens to you guys in this?

That's where it play right there.

Okay, listen, it's not one opinion. Don't ever point at me again. It's individual opinions on that as well. Well, are you enthusiastic about the future of TAP?

I'm positive, generally, and think it might It might be possible to regroup again. Yeah, it's possible.

Wide open. Listen, whatever works.

Okay, wow. That's a very nice end.

In the out.

Depending on maybe you're a financial Depending on whether we call him is the thing.

If we called him Inzi-outzi. And if you did reunite, do you think there's another film there? Go to hell.

That's as good a place to end as any gentleman. I'll say it again. I saw the first film in 1984 to introduce me to you and your work, and it changed my life in many ways. I don't say this often. Wait a minute. I say it just about every time. All the time. Constantly. It's an honor to have you here. I mean, I've said it to complete nobody's in the business. It's a formality more than anything else, but a complete and utter honor to have you here. This is a dream. I thank you allThank you very much.

It's a dream come true is what you mean. Thank all of you, by the way. It's a dream come true.

Thank you very much. I'm sorry, because they're bad dreams. You're right. All right. Spinal Tap, Marty Dipergey. Thank you guys so much. And, Spinal Tap 2, The End Continues is in theater, September 12th, and their new book, A Fine Line between Clever and Stupids. No, no, no, no.

A Fine Line between Stupids and Clever.

Then, Whoever Wrote This is just stupid. Yeah. But reading it was clever. That's available September ninth. I'm in for all things tap, as I think our audience is and many people listening. Spinal tap, ladies and gentlemen, Marty Dibergie. Thank you. That was great. Thank you so much for including us in that. That was really sweet of you. That was a real moment for us. I'm sorry. I was looking for a moment when one of your obsessions would come up in the conversation. You know what I mean? But it didn't. It didn't happen. That's all right. Channing Tatum never came up. Ebs. I told you guys, jump in at any time. Did I not say that beforehand? You did. Okay, then shut up. I'm not even complaining. I know. I just wanted to go after you because it's fun. Yeah, go after him. That was really fun. Yeah, it was. That was amazing. That was lovely to talk to those guys. I saw them years ago and to finally meet them. Altogether, it was just one of those pinch me moments. Big time. Okay, that's an awkward silence. Sorry. A little sincerity, and everyone's like, What the fuck was that?

We don't know what to do with it. How is that funny? Because we're just waiting for the other shoe to drop. There's no other shoe. No, nothing. I just had a really lovely moment. You can both shut up now. That's just sincerity? We don't know what that looks like. I mean, that's what that is. Yeah, you look very attractive. Guys, I do have the glasses on sometimes, and I take them off sometimes, and I think I'm a fidgety person, but I like the movement. I like the action. Nobody was asking about it. Well, they asked me about it. Why did it keep- I know, but you do that. I'll do it again. Yeah. Look at that guy. Oh, yeah. I can't see now. I'm going to read. What'd you say? What are you doing? You doing a little bit? He can't hear you when his glasses are off. Yeah. Take your glasses off. What a prick. What's going on? Hey, guys, this is nice. Does he know? What are you guys talking about? You're great. You like that bit? That was good. The guy who can't hear when his glasses Yeah, I was doing the effects in your head and stuff, too.

Okay, let's do it again. Yeah, okay. This is fun. Oh, hey. Oh, life is nice. I want to quit so bad. I love how everything is. I love how everything is. My God, if I just walk out of here, I love this job. So I go, oh, when I put my glasses back on? I hired you as an assistant. You do sound effects, you do voices, you do tricks. I know. You had no idea. Hey, Conan O'Brien Needs a friend is brought to you by Airbnb. Hello, and welcome to the very first Conan O'Brien Airbnb original experience. This is our first time. Yeah, this is been. Very exciting. For our audio listeners, we're at the Serious XM garage here in Los Angeles, and we are having a blast. And whoever wrote that put an exclamation point at the end, which makes me think it was Bley. Yes. Yeah, it's guilty. Yeah. You would talk that way at a funeral. Isn't this awesome? No one expected you'd die that young. This is a very special event. This is really fun. Everyone here today is getting custom rock and roll merch. Yeah. And Bley What else are they getting?

Well, everybody got to say how they feel about being Kona O'Brien's friend, which is a first for our podcast, as well as after the recording is done, stick around because we've got the US Air guitar Association is here. They're the NFL of Air guitar. You're going to compete for Fame and glory, see a showcase of Air guitar All-stars in the first ever Team Coco Air guitar Championship, which is very exciting. Yeah, there's some cool sign stuff. It's all signed by Bley, though, just so you know. Yeah. The stuff is pieces of asbestos from a decommissioned battleship. Actually, enjoy that asbestos. No, we have some great stuff for you. Us Air guitar Championship. What happened to our podcast? What happened? I ascended the very highest heights of show business. Stick around for our Erica Target Championship. It's fun. People are going to have a good time. How do you guys like our original Airbnb experience? How great is Spinal Tap? Did you have a good time? Everyone have a good... I want to just big thanks to everyone who came out to our Team Coco Airbnb experience, and thank you to Airbnb for making this happen.

They've been terrific partners, and I'm also a satisfied Airbnb customer, and I believe now is the part of the show. We're going to introduce your real assistant. Well, I shouldn't say that. My true assistant. Oh, sorry. Okay. That's not cool. The hammer of Thor sits beside me. This is you are forged in Asgard. You are the original immortal weapon, the Sona Muffsessian. When you say Konan's assistant, it's Sona. That is Sona's assistant. Konan's assistant is Sona. Sona is the assistant to Konan. It's just one of those universal truths. But Sona, of course, went on to bigger and better things. She's now on a giant billboard in Times Square. She's got her own book. She drives around in a Bentley. The podcast was. Did you know that Sona has a Bentley? Not me alone. Yeah, and her license plate says, Suck it. It would. It would. You would get that. I would. She's in the stratosphere. I need someone who actually can show me how to use my apps. And these days, that man is... Where is he? David Hopping. Are you here? David Hopping. David, join us. All right. Right here. Sit or stand. David, your current obsession...

Why don't you have a seat? You can have a seat. It's okay. Just don't get comfortable. I'm going to sit as far away as possible. I'm going to make you leave. Yeah, that's great. It looks like you're being punished. Yeah. This is like a COVID protocol. How can I help? Okay, David, you're obsessed lately with the summer I turn pretty, right? The son and I both are. What's going on with that? Because every time I will call you about something important, like there's a small fire in my kitchen. How do I contact the fire department and you say, Are you watching the summer I turn pretty? Yeah, because it comes out every Wednesday. Which one are you team Brenda or Jojo? What is it? I can't with you. I don't know the names of the people. How is it? I think we're all team Conrad. There's our homies in the back. In the back? Yeah. No, Sona and I text about this show. We do. It's very important. Any time there's a Netflix show or a show made for 16-year-old girls, I know I can rely on Sona to watch it as well. Anything with hot 20-something-year-old just doing it, we'll watch it.

At what point-I have this question, too. At what point is it creepy that you're watching that stuff and getting excited about it? If I were to admit that I love watching hot 20-year-olds go at it, I'm immediately arrested, and rightfully so. What about you? When does it become creepy? I don't know. Probably Now? Is that weird? As I was saying it, I was like, they're not-It's not great for us. It's not great. It's not a good look. We're helping the business. You know what? My little entertainment. You're welcome. This is how you help me the most is that I bring you in to ask you about various things, and you tell me, David, what's going on in the youth culture, what's happening in America, because you're from the Heartland. You're still very innocent. You're very naive. He is. Thank you. I think. He grew up not near a cornfield. He grew up in and amongst corn. Corn grew up around him. You are always telling me this is what people are watching now. I'm team Conrad. I don't know what's happening. I use you to keep me aware of what's happening. It's job security. Yeah.

Yeah. And how to use my apps. Yeah. All right. What are we doing here? You're going to take some questions from the audience. Sure. And then give them answers. Yeah. No, we're just taking questions, but no answers. Raise your hand if you have a question. David, I can hear your shoes. It's awkward. Hi, I'm Alon. I'm very nervous right now. Don't be nervous. This is a safe space. We're all friends. I might attack you at any moment. I have also hired people to attack you from behind. Don't be nervous. Seriously, we're just people, but I'm exceptionally talented. Go ahead. I'm one of those people. It's like, Oh, my God, you met him. What did you say? And there's a lot of... What's that? If you want to stand? This was fine. God damn. I love you. I love you. We love you. We know you. Oh, and this doesn't work. That's great. Okay, I now have this mic and I can stand. What's your name again? Elan. Elan. Elan. Olan. Olan. Olan. Like, along came along. You were right to be nervous. All right. Elan. I'm kidding. I'm totally kidding. All right, Joe, how are you?

So, Fonaine, I was wondering. I started watching you when I was 12, so this was always a dream of mine. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Are there guests who you still get nervous to talk to? I wouldn't say I get nervous. That would be the wrong word. I get focused. I get very focused. I think this has been thousands and thousands of hours, and I've talked to so many people. There's no nervous anymore, but there is a moment before I go out where I look at, I think about what I'm going to talk about with certain people, and I get very focused. So you don't have to fight through anything? I don't think I have to fight through anything anymore. And this sounds like a joke, but I just think I've been through so much that at this point, it's hard to sum in that. That was probably more in my earlier life, in my 20s and early 30s. But at this point, I think all of my dignity has been shredded, and I'm just I don't know. I'm being truthful. I think there's a, okay, let's see what happens. Does anything make you nervous? Anything else?

What do you mean? Am I capable of feeling? Am I the guy who scales? Do you have feelings? Are you human? Is it Is it free solo? Do I not have the part of my brain? Yeah. I fear. Yeah, I would fear. There are plenty of things I would fear, but not getting up in front of people. Yeah, I think making a terrible financial decision would frighten me because I think I'd be blamed and mocked. I thought you were going to say something about your family. No, God, no. Okay. You can always get another family. Hey, nice to meet you and good question. Yes. Alon. Alon. Alon. I'm not doing this on purpose. I have a new favorite podcast now. I deserve that. Whose alarm is going off? I think it's someone's sincerity alarm. Did you hear a beeping sound? No. No. Did you hear it? Anyone? Oh, my God. I think I'm very ill. Wow. Yes. How can I help you, sir? I have less of a question, more of a quick request. I have my instant camera on me. Can I take a picture with the gang? Yeah, of course. Can I come down now?

Is that good? Yeah. I like your late show with Steven Kolb. You're not going to change your shirt. No, seriously. Good friend, Steven, and I'm glad you're out representing a good man. Let's get down here and let's take this picture. Do we have to stand up? Why don't you lie down? There you go. Wow. This is all going to be a request now. No one's going to ask a question anymore. Konan, I'm type O+. Can I have a pankreas? Okay, we're going to go back to questions. Gentlemen, yes, you brought your own microphone. Very good. How can I help you? I would love it if people brought their own microphones. I know. That was our one request. Go ahead, sir.

I was wondering, outside of this is Spinal Tap, what's your favorite Christopher Guest movie?

Oh, wow. I'm going to say waiting for Guffman. Hell, yeah. Yeah, I love waiting for Guffman. I can just watch it endlessly. He's genius level, funny, and so I'm delighted by so much of his work. A follow-up call, Coda. No, you guys are getting out of hand. Last guy had a question but turned into a photo op. You took one question and turned it into two. I don't like the way this is going. Go ahead, sir. When you saw This is Final Tap in 1984, was that like... For me, watching the Simpsons, Ladies, early '90s, that was my first look at satire and parody ever. For you, can you think of anything? Because Monty Python was a bit more sketch comedy and less satire and parody in a direct sense. Do you think this is Final Tap was help mold you into wanting to do satire? Definitely. There's nobody From my era, who wasn't influenced by that film, I believe that there's a period of your life that only happens once when music, comedy, all the things that are important to you can hit you in a very pure, unadulterated way. And then a window closes.

It doesn't close completely, but there's a period in your life, and it's like 15, 16, 17. And for me, that was SCTV, definitely Monty Python, Clouseau Films, Select Ones with Peter Sellers. There were just things that were moments on Saturday Night Live. There were things that just hit me directly mainlined into my brainstem. And 1984, I'm working for this college humor magazine. I've sworn myself. I remembered saying, I don't care if I totally never make a penny. If it never goes anywhere, I'm going to devote myself to comedy. I recently cleaned out my parents house and I found all these comedy ideas I was writing when I was 19, 20, and they're not good. At the bottom of one page, I was writing them on a typewriter, and no one was even The computers existed at the time, so I don't know. I'm still writing things on a typewriter. But in ink at the bottom, I had reviewed my work and said, Please, Comedy gods, help me to do better than this crap. I was so hard on myself. That's the I am when I go to this theater in like, Austin, Massachusetts, and see.

That's where we're from. That's where we're from. All right. You are being arrested. You look amazing, by the way. You look lovely. But yeah, I saw this as Spinal Tap. I think a lot of us had the same feeling, which is this is a way of being funny that was so ahead of its time. And if you think about The Office and Parks and Rec and all these shows that do reportage mockumentary style, to me, it really starts with, I know the Ruttals precedes that, but the real pure dose is Spinal Tap. So meant everything to me. Yeah. Great question. I'll take some more questions here, and David will get to. He's just taking his time. That's all. He got the mic, but he's my husband, so he gave it to me. Oh, that's such a nice... I think he might have It's an actual question, but this is so awkward. No, no, no. Don't worry about it. It's more of a, Can I give you a gift? Yeah, sure. I'm an illustrator, and I drew a picture of you. Oh, my God. Bring it on up. That's so nice. Come on up. Check it out.

That's so cool. That's so nice. I can't show everyone the whole thing. What is it? Because I think I might get in trouble with work if I show you the whole thing. Oh, I shouldn't? Will I get you in trouble? You can Will we edit this out? You can show it and edit it out. You can show that. You just yell things. Take off your pants. Put a stapler in your ass. What? Oh, I see what this is. I can show this. That's so great. This is me looking at... I mean, we may have to... I think it's been made public, actually. Okay, good. Yes, but this is the character I'm going to play in Toy Story 5, who's named Smarty Pants. That's right. I love that. Who do you work for? Disney, Pixel. I see. Well, you're not only fired, but they're going to pursue you the rest of your life. I hope none of them like you. Do you work up at the Bay Area? No, Glendale. But I do visit Emoryville sometimes. Okay. I'm working on the Toy Story 5. I have a character in it, which is one of the coolest things I've been a part of.

I got to go up to the Pixar studios in the Bay Area, and they showed me all the offices and all these iconic things. And it was like Willy Wank is saying, do you want to see my chocolate factory? It was really fun. I've seen the offices before, too, just once, and it was mind-blowing. Yeah. Well, you guys are so talented. So cool. Did you actually make this yourself? So I work on product. So I work on things like I drew Smarty Pants for product, but it doesn't look as nice. It's for kids. So they really want it. That's all right. You're doing well. I love it when creative, talented people just find a way to make their mark on the world. That's really impressive to me. It's good to be here because I was in legal for nine years before this. You escaped hell. I escaped hell. I'm not putting down lawyers, but you're terrible people. Sorry. Let's give Can I shout out to your... What is your husband's name? Jonathan John John. You forgot his name for a second, didn't you? This marriage is in terrible trouble. He surrendered the microphone out of fear.

Is he a creative person as well? He likes to write poems. That's lovely. Recite. Wait a minute. Recite. You stand up and say, Recite it. I can say he did spoken word at our wedding, and I was mortified. Oh, wait a minute. I'm going to stick up for him. I think, A, that's lovely that you would do that. That guy's got... I mean, that's very cool. Yeah, it is. You know what? I wanted someone to do spoken word at my wedding, and someone did. It turned out it was just a drunken diatribe about the many ways I've fucked people over in life by my new wife. Lovely to meet you. Thank you so much for this. Give my best to the gang at Pixar. You're really talented. So cool. What's that? Why are you yelling now? Wait, I'm sorry. That was his latest poem. Very cool. Now I'm just cruising around like a creep. Hey, how are you? Hello. How are you? You scared of me now, right? Love the hair. Anybody else? I can just go to you and have a question. Yes. How are you, sir? What do you have? Just shout it out.

Okay, thank you.

First, I wanted to say thank you very much.

I'm going to get behind you in case you prove to be dangerous. You're dressed like a Batman villain. I love it. Two faces here. No, stand up, sir. Show everyone your outfit. Man, you dressed up for this. Good for you. Look at that. Very nice. What is your name? Christopher. Christopher. Can you use the mic on him real quick? What's that? Hold on. Watch this. I'll do it. I've watched game shows. What's your name again, sir? My name is Christopher. Christopher, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. I'm moving a microphone between us, so this conversation will be staccato. Is that okay with you? That is very okay with me. Okay, where did you get the outfit? H&m. Okay, terrific. A wonderful company. But not a sponsor. They can go to hell. What's your question, sir? My question is, what do you use for your hair, and when can we expect a hair care line from you? You know what? Okay, this is a great question. This is a terrific question because my manager, Gavin Polone, a true animal who I've been with since 1992, he's always wanting me to be involved with some product.

He says, There's a lot of money in that stuff, man. I'll say, That's not me. I don't do that. But then we did come up with an idea a while ago, and we just haven't done it, which is a pomade. A pomade... Where's my illustrator friend? There we go. A pomade, but it's got that cool 1930s. It comes in that tin, and it's got a cool logo, and it's the Konin pomade. I'm telling you, it would be the goop of the modern era. I was just referencing the company, but it would be because that's done great for Gwyneth. She drives around in nine Bentley's trapped together. But all say, Suck it. Which you can't have more than one license plate that says the same thing, but she got around it because she's Gwyneth. I think a pomade. I think a pomade, and a couple of pomades. What do you think? I'll buy it right now. What's that? Say again. If you have it, I'll buy it right now. Okay, well, you seem like a sap. I'll buy anything. I'm going to somehow make this happen. A cone and pomade, and I'll donate all the... Well, no, I'm not going to say that.

That's just stupid. I mean, what if it really blows up? I'll say this. If it doesn't do well, I'll donate the proceeds to a good cause. If it does really well, I'm buying an island somewhere, okay? And I'm just going to go there and be a total freak. All right. So, yeah. What's that? I said coneade, and then I got really embarrassed. I did that. I've never known you to be embarrassed about anything you've said. I know because I said it so quietly and no one heard it. And I was like, I got away with it. And then you turned around to me and asked me- No, I sensed that you were in danger. I'm like a T-rex that sees movement. If someone slightly misspeaks, I can see for 900 miles. That's true. That's so true. Yeah, I'm like this pomade idea. I'm telling you, it could have a cool logo that looks like it's from the '20s. And it's... What's that? Outline of your hair. Outline of my hair. But you know what I mean? It needs just the right font. I've got to get the right mixture of different spices and oils. I want it to be something you can also eat.

If you're hungry, I want to put a little protein in it. So there's a little bit of cow collagen in there. You can just put it in your hair, but then go like, I'm feeling tired. I want there to be little tiny pieces of bacon inside. This is the cream- And then that bacon goes in your hair. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Duh. What's with dummy over here? I love this. I think this is a fantastic idea. What's your name? I just like wandering around, but use the mic. It's good because this is all going to end up on the podcast. Hi, how are you? Nice to see you. Really delighted. I saw you ladies backstage. I don't know how you got back there. It frightened me. Yes, go ahead. I was just letting you schmoose, which is totally cool. I'm not letting you, obviously. Like a wingman. That's very cool. You're like, Oh, Connor is talking to these ladies up front. I better give him his space so that he can cheat on his wife. No, absolutely not. How dare you turn against Liza like that. No, absolutely not. Anyway, drinks later. I also had another movie question, and it's probably open-ended, but you're obviously the creator of your universe and going in-What are you talking about?

Do not give him any ideas. With everyone. The creator of my universe? I'm looking at the people out here so that they feel included. It's the guy that high-fived me. I don't do well with them. I don't get a good connection. It's not you. Your elbow? Look at the elbow. Look at the elbow? Yeah. Okay, sir. No, I'm sorry. I will take your question in one second. You had a question about me creating the universe, and then this guy... No. Go ahead, sir. I will teach you how to give a perfect high five every time. But I don't like doing them. Then I will not teach you how to give a perfect high five. Just teach me so I know how to do it if I need to do it. Go ahead. I'm assuming you're right-handed? Yes, I am, sir. Then hold the mic with the left. You look-What a dick. I'm being mansplained, and I'm a man. All right. You look at my elbow, and I'm going to look at your elbow. On the three, we got one, two, three. Yeah. Yours was much stronger than mine, and it pulled my elbow out of my pocket.

My shoulder, I'm bleeding into my shirt. I'm going to do that. I'm going to start. But you know what? A lot of people-You're doing it hard on purpose. Who are you? What's that? What? You have your own podcast going on over here? There's a lot of people on the street, and this is that gets me. Sometimes people are maybe 30 yards away, and they'll be like, Cut it. They stand there like the fucking Statue of Liberty and click. You know what I mean? Then they've been eating a sloppy Joe. They haven't watched their hands. It's a mess. Sir, what's your name? Hypes. Okay. Hypes Hypes? I mean, it's a ceremony for air guitar. You're the air guitar guy. I could tell there was something about you that caused me an existential dread. Well, best of luck to you. Your parents must be thrilled. Let's shake it out. Thank you so much. Nice to meet you, sir. Well, you're in for a treat with Hypes. Hypes, the master of air guitar. I'm so sorry. Your name again? When Hypes takes over, he literally smashed through the window. Totally fight. There's a reason they put him behind that salad guard.

It's totally fight. But it's your movie with Rose Burns? Yes. If I had legs, I'd kick you. Yeah. Again, it's very open-ended, but you obviously are you. You said it like, there's nothing that can be done. Tragically, you are you. This is a condition from which no one recoves. No, but it's just that shift, right? Obviously, you've acted all the... But even when I saw the trailer, I was like, Oh, wow, this is something totally different. And again, open-ended question. Well, there is no question there. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. That's okay. I think I know what you're getting at. I forgot it with everything. Which is talk about that thing that you did. I'm thrilled because it's an A24 film, and I love everything A24 does. I get a call to an A24 film. The director wants to show you a script that she's written. Her name is Mary Bronstein. I meet with her. She's got such a cool vision. She writes this script that floors me. Then Rose Burn is cast, and all my scenes are opposite Rose. I, like anyone who's sentient, adores Rose Burn. I just adore her. I just think she's amazing.

I do this. I took it really seriously, and Rose gives this insane performance. Who here has seen it? Have you seen it, Sona? You haven't seen it. No. David, you saw it. And Rose, right? Oh, my God, it's incredible. Here, you should have a microphone, too. Cool. David saw it. That's cool. Yeah, because I That's nice for you. Because you gave me your job. Yeah, I'm happy for you. You get to do cool things. Rose is incredible in it. It's just insane. David was with me during the shooting of it because that's what a real assistant does. He comes with you, and it was a really difficult time. And you were- You never shot movies when I worked for you, so that's on you, bro. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is. It's my fault. Yeah, and he went to Pixar with you, too, didn't he? Yeah, we had so many- I mean- You know what's great? My career has just blossomed into this wonderful thing, and so She stepped off the boat. Sona was on a boat that went to Pittsburgh, Cleveland. Now we've hit the Caribbean, and just beforehand, she stepped off.

I know. So you screwed up Sona. Anyway, it's really fun. It was a great experience. I really think the movie is fantastic, and I credit completely. I mean, it's Mary Bronstein, it's Roseburn, ASAP Rocky. I'm in there, too, but I give it up totally for them. I love being a part of that, and I'm excited to hear what people think when it comes to that. I'm really excited to see you in that medium space. You know what I mean? Yeah, not so shrill and needy. No, not necessarily that. Words created by other people. He just seems so mean and unapologetically mean. Yeah, it's funny. I guess I'm a great actor. I pretended and was able to act as if I have a mean part of me. It was just a complete transformation. Yeah. Unbelievable. No one can believe. But what I did is I read about people being mean and cruel, and I tried to imagine what that was like. I'm like, I don't like you, and I don't like you. I think that is our show. I'll say this. This was just fun. So many of the things we get to do in this medium, this was just complete fun.

This is not work. This is play. And so grateful that we got to do this. Really Thank you. You guys made this really fun with your energy and your enthusiasm, and you seem like really nice people, and we're blessed to have fans like you. Let's do it again. All right. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Cessium, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and nick Leal. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our Supervising producer is Erin Blair, and our Associate Talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and Mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brenda Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnik. Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Konan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm. Com/konan. If you haven't already, please subscribe to Konan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.