Transcript of That Zagrebian ’Tude

Every neighbor got their flavor. Did somebody say just me? Emergency at 23, Efa's extended family. Can't you get a rewind? Nappies, coffee rolls to go. Nace dates in a hot mess. No chilly, it's an SOS. Major cook up, we saw ya. Let me call the reinforcements for ya.

Whoever you are, whatever your flavor.

Every neighbor, Every neighbor. Got their flavor. Did somebody say just me?

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Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Konan? Visit teamcoco. Com/callconan. Konan. Okay, let's get started.

Hi, Tasha. Welcome to Konan O'Brien Needs a Fan.

Oh, my God. Hello, guys.

Hi, Tasha. How are you?

Great. Very excited to see you. I thought I would be so nervous that I would be shocked and frozen, but I'm so happy to see you.

Yes. Well, often when people see us, they're underwhelmed. So that calms them down immediately. Tasha, tell me a little bit about yourself. Where are you in the world right now?

I'm in Croatia, in Zagreb, the capital of Croatia.

Okay. You're in Zagreb, Croatia. I've never been to Croatia. I would be fascinated. I have never experienced the culture there.

No, I think you should, though. That's a really good reason to come and experience it. Are you a native?

It's been all over the world. Are you a native of Zagreb, Croatia? You were born there?

I am. I was born in Zagreb in Croatia. My family is from the Coast, from the islands. Of Croatia, we have many, many islands in this beautiful sea, the Adriatic Sea. That's right. So you should definitely come and visit.

Okay. Well, a bunch of questions. What do you do for a living? Can I ask you that?

Of course. I have two jobs, actually, at the moment. I am a psychotherapist I've just finished my training.

Oh, you're a psychotherapist.

Yes. My other job is I'm a cruise manager on luxury yachts on these mini cruises.

Wow. Okay. Everything I know about those mini yachts and cruises are from the show Below Deck. My wife loves the show Below Deck. Is it like Below Deck?

It's... I mean, yeah, they make it a little bit more spectacular and dramatic, but it is beautiful. Yeah, there is a little bit of drama.

Can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer this, but are members of the crew getting it on? I don't know if that's a common term in Zagreb, Croatia, but are people hooking up on the crews?

I think so, but since I'm the crews manager, they don't tell me about it. They're keeping it in the crew mess.

Yes, of course. That's why you're supposed to have a camera with night vision in every room. That's how they do it on below deck. That's how you know.

Those people have signed consent forms, though, I think.

Do you really have to have someone sign a consent form if you're going to put a night vision camera and watch them have sex? Is that something Wait a minute. Hold on. Eduardo, that stuff, that equipment we installed, has to come out. No, Eduardo. That equipment we installed nine years ago has to come out. And you have to erase the 10,000 hours of tape that I've put into the cloud. Okay, well, this is interesting. Tasha- Where did you install these cameras? Where are they? Don't worry about it, but you need to clean your inside of your car.

No. Oh.

But, Tasha, this is fascinating. You have two jobs, and they're both interesting to me. First of all, you've trained to be a therapist. I could find that quite useful because I'm always looking for therapeutic advice. I don't know if you've been a regular listener, maybe you have some observations about me or ways that you could help me.

I have been a regular listener and watcher since '93. I have diagnosed you many times, even though it's completely unprofessional to do so.

You've diagnosed me by watching the television show since '93 and listening to the podcast. Yes. Can you in a very Can you very briefly tell me what you think the issue is?

Briefly? Where did I begin? I'm going to rest my eye on the microphone. Okay. Well, there's There's bad news and good news. Okay. So bad news, everyone knows you're neurotic and anxious because you've been not open about it, right? Yeah. But the good news is that you're open about it and you let others... You make fun of yourself. You let others make fun of you, which is a really great way to be healthier about it.

Or is it just a sad survival mechanism?

Well, it's a good survival mechanism, I think, in my professional opinion.

Okay, I like you. You're a good therapist because you approve of the way I behave.

I do, but, but, but, but, There is some conflict that you have with some members of your staff that is not fully healthy, I think. I think that should be your result.

Okay. Anyone here maybe that you're talking about?

Again, this is completely informal because it's not professional for me to do this. That makes it? Okay, go ahead. I see you, Sonja. I want to say that Sona is dealing with it really in a healthy way because she getting back at you all the time, very directly and openly. You can't hurt her.

If you dish it out, Sona dishes it right back and it's a healthy exchange.

Exactly. Healthy exchange. Now, Matt, I think there's a little bit of passive-aggressiveness between the both of you. I think you should talk about it and you should maybe go to a couple's therapist about it. Or I can do it over Zoom as well.

You know what? I hate to admit it, but Tasha, I think you're right because I think- Just a little bit.

What if I'm not looking to improve the relationship?

But you are because you always want him to be your father figure. You have an open about it now.

I can tell you with 100% certainty that I do not want him to be my It's more like brother figure, I think.

I think older brother. Yeah, I think you two are like bros. That's what it is. I think I'm an older brother that fathered you. That sired me? Yes. We're going to leave it at that, which means now I really need your help, Tasha.

That was very unhealthy, Carmen. Let's not go there.

Well, okay, let's switch to your other job, which Which is Luxury Cruise Manager. Now I'm picturing you, you're on the luxury cruise, and there are issues because you don't know the way I do because I've watched a lot of below decks because my wife obsessed, especially below deck, down under. Hi, what is that?

I love that you're telling a doctor, you don't know the way I do.

No, I'm telling you, you say you don't know what's going on below deck on your luxury cruises. I'm telling you, it's going on. They're doing it. There's all kinds of sexual hijinks happening aboard your boat, and you need to know that that is happening. If I came there, I know I'd catch some of them in the act if you let me install cameras. Oh, my God. So what? They don't sign a form. What are they going to do? I'm going to flee the country afterwards. Why does she need to know if the staff is hooking up? I just want the footage. I agree.

I can't believe I have a father thing with this guy.

Where is this going?

Well, okay. I'm just curious about what's going on. What role do you think I could play? If you're not going to let me install cameras secretly, night vision cameras, I'm guessing we'll use the same. Edward, are you like the F750s? 750s are great. Okay. F7. We are going to Maybe we'll install cameras, maybe we won't. But if I were to come and work on the boat, what would my function be? If I were to come and work on the boat, what do you think I would do there?

I think first you should try it the different roles. I think also Sona should come because I want Sona to teach me how to not care about my job as much and still get paid. I really want that. That's great. Because she's very high, strong in my job. She just I love you, Sona. I love you.

I love you, too, Tasha. No, Sona is really good at that. She just has been coaching some brain surgeons and some cardiac thoracic surgeons. A lot of people are dying now, but they don't care as much. The doctors are happier. They're cool with it. If you don't care, then you don't care, then they die. Yeah, flatlining.

Every neighbor got their flavor. Oh, yeah. Does somebody say, Just Emergency at 23, Efa's extended family. Can't you get a rewind? Nappies, coffee rolls to go. Nace date's in a hot mess. No chilly, it's an SOS. Major cookup, Louis Sawyer. Let me call the reinforcements for ya.

Whoever you are, whatever your flavor.

Every neighbor. Every neighbor. Got their flavor. Did somebody say, just be.

Bakery favorites for less dough. Now that's something to value. At Lidl, we freshly prepare everything in our bakery every day using the best ingredients for perfectly baked breads and treats at a tasty price. The proof? Three selected pastries for just €3 with Lidl Plus. Lidl, more to value.

Okay, so what am I doing on the boat? What do you picture me doing? And do keep in mind, you seem to have very fair skin. Do you use a lot of sunscreen when you're out on the boat?

Oh, no, no. My skin is great. I have Mediterranean skin. It's just that I take care of it, so it looks like it's fair. But you have a very delicate skin, and you can't be out in the sun. We know that. No.

I'm like a very old Japanese woman. I need to be... I have to have a big hat, and I have to be inside wearing gloves and glasses.

And a little umbrella.

Parasol. Yeah. Parasol.

I can see you walking around the yard like that.

You say you have Mediterranean skin and you take very good care of it, and then you pivoted to me and said, I have delicate skin, and then implied that I don't take care of it.

Yeah.

That's fine. That's what I took away from that.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- No, it's what came across.

It's very Croatian of you. It's very Zagrebian. You're giving me that Zagrebian twod. There's the title. Zagrebian twod.

That's Zagrebian twod.

What do you think I'd be best at on the boat? Clearly, I probably shouldn't pilot it. That would be a bad idea.

Sail it, you mean?

Yeah, sail it. Sorry.

Captain. Okay. I know that you have really good coordination. Your body, physically, you're very well-coded. I think you should... What's that face from Sona?

Not just Sona, it was me, too. She's saying, I think you called the wrong show. But anyway, let's go with it. Yes, I'm very well. I'm coordinated. I'm a master athlete, and I have total command of my body, which is well-proportioned. Yeah.

That's what we need.

You have Mediterranean skin.

I have Mediterranean skin, and I've taken very good care of it. I'm a sexual symbol. Tasha, what about security? What about anything like that? Could Could I be a guy who walks around the boat and makes sure that there's no trouble?

Yeah. When we stop in these really popular hotspots on these islands where everyone comes to party, then past a certain hour, At night, when a lot of young people are coming back from the clubs drunk, they try to get on their boats.

Oh, even if they're not part of the crews, they try to illegally get on the boat?

Just like to do. Because we have nice, we have Jacuzzi, we have a spa pool. It's really nice. They try to get in and get it on, as you said earlier.

Yes, that's the way most people describe sex in America here in 2025 is getting it on. I don't go outside much. My point is, you think that I would maybe be good at keeping interlopers, intruders from getting on the boat because of my size, my commanding presence, Why are you shaking your head? No.

Just because maybe they would be scared when they see you.

Scared? Why would they be scared?

Because no one has orange hair in Croatia.

Why don't you just hire a fucking party clown to stand outside the boat? Why don't you just get a down on his luck Ronald McDonald with sores on his face? You have to wear your whole the hat and the umbrella and the gloves, and you just come up to kids and you're like, Get off the boat. Yeah, what? Suddenly, I'm the clown from It.

It's the Ghost of La Yarona.

Okay, so I would frighten people from coming on the boat because of my pale skin and orange hair.

No, I take it back. I'm sorry. No, you can't take it.

That's not how it works in therapy, Tasha. You don't say things and then take it back. Wow, this is intense. I do think- No, I love you, Konan.

I do. I love you. I used to be in love with you. So all these jokes are just deflection.

That's so nice.

This is the below deck. This is the below deck. Yeah.

Yeah. Your therapist just told you she loved you. Yeah. My therapist just told me she loved me, and she's inviting me on a luxury cruise, and she says there's no cameras below deck. It's very epic. This is a loaded situation. Yes. What do you What do you mean, what do you do? Croatia, here I come. See you later, Liza.

You show up and she just puts you on the deck duty with all the kids from the club.

Put on your orange wig. Come on, you can't. Come on in the boat. It's back. Well, that's very nice. It sounds like you've been watching the show for a long time, which is very nice. You're a committed fan.

Yeah, I have been since... Can I tell you about it? Yeah. But seriously for a moment. Yeah, sure. If we may be serious for a moment. I have been watching you since maybe day two or three Year 5, something like that, but the first season in '93. You know, Christian used to be part of you, the Slavia. Then we separated and we had a war of Independence in the '90s. A couple of years into the war is when your show started. For some reason, I had your show here available in Europe on cable. I'm getting a little emotional. We had this surreal reality of the war and then also being students. I was 20 when your show started and was a student, but also we had to somehow how help the war effort. A lot of us were volunteering or working as interpreters, things like that. It was a very surreal thing where we would be for a couple of weeks, we'd be out there near where the fighting was, and then we'd come back home where it was less fighting. I would watch TV, and that was my support and my escape from it.

It was very It was exciting when your show started. It was one of the main shows that I watched, and it brought me joy and relief. There was this crazy, nervous guy with this weird sense of humor. Well, not too weird for us because we- I thought you were describing someone else for a second.

Then I realized it was me. There was this cream. I'm like, Yeah, I don't know what happened to that guy.

But Then one day, it will be this horror of the war. Then the other day, there are two guys sitting in a meat locker and describing celebrities through stakes.

I remember that. If you remember that. I remember the meat locker episode. We did a lot of very weird, strange things. I have to say, Tasha, it means a lot to me that you and some of your friends were watching that and that it brought you some comfort because Because especially in those early years, we were doing this show, we didn't know who was watching, let alone... We didn't know who was watching or if anyone was watching the United States. But the idea that you were going through this terrible ordeal and your people were going through this terrible ordeal and that you got some sustenance out of our silliness means everything to me. I mean, that's the magic of it all. I'm glad. I'm so happy that we were to provide a little bit of relief from what sounds like just a terrible experience. I'm very happy that you shared that with me. That's really meaningful.

It really means a lot to me to be able to share it with you. This is like a dream come true. I watch you guys now all the time, listen and watch. You have such a wholesome show. I know I've joked in the beginning about all your diagnosis. And it's not untrue.

You can have both. It's not untrue. I think we have the right intentions. We are well intentioned here. And then, of course, we're all dealing with... We're humans, so we're all dealing with whatever nonsense we have in our heads. But the ultimate magic to me is when we can turn that into something positive to somebody who... I mean, if it weren't for this show, I'd I've never have met you. It's just lovely to meet you and a gift. It's a gift to meet you. You seem really funny and cool and smart. I do hope I get to come on your boat, and I do hope you let me install cameras. You ruined I did. I didn't ruin it. I'm still a good guy. I just want footage of strangers having sex. I don't think that diminishes any of what Tasha has said because that brings me comfort. Anyway, Tasha, it was an absolute joy talking to you. We're going to wrap this up, but you're a very special person, and I do hope that we get to meet up. That would be very cool.

Yes. Thank you so much, everyone. It's lovely to see you, and you're such wonderful people. Keep doing this. Don't ever quit.

Okay. Yeah. All right. I like that. Take care, Tasha. Thanks, Tasha. Bye-bye.

Bye.

Konan O'Brien needs a fan with Konan O'Brien, Sonam Obsesion, and Matt Gourly. Produced by me, Matt Gourly. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and nick Leal. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivina. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Erin Blaird. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Sample. Cribs. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Burm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm. Com/conon. Please rate, review, and subscribe to 'Conon O'Brien Needs a Fan' wherever fine podcasts are down.

Every neighbor got their flavor. Oh, yeah. Can somebody say just me? Emergency at 23, Efa's extended family. Can't you get a rewind? No. Nappies, coffee rolls to go. Nace dates in a hot mess. No chilly, it's an SOS. Major cookup, Louis Sawyer. Let me call the reenforcedman's for Can me call the reinforcements for you.

Whoever you are, whatever your flavor.

Every neighbor. Every neighbor. Got their flavor. Did somebody say, just be.

Bakery favorites for less dough. Now that's something to value. At Lidl, we freshly prepare everything in our bakery every day using the best ingredients for perfectly baked breads and treats at a tasty price. The proof? Three selected pastries for just €3 with Lidl plus. Lidl, more to value.