Transcript of The Funniest Fraud Attempt He's Ever Done

How we doing today, Matt?

Oh, oh, all right.

You got to do the cat, the cat. Cows.

Cat, cow.

What is it called? Cat, cows. Cat, cow, Cow, cow, Cat, cow.

For the people listening.

I. I hate that term. Cat, cow. There you go.

That's the cat.

That's what cats do.

And this is the cow.

Oh, wait, well, you didn't know that.

Wait, I hated the term.

It was like one word, like cacao.

No, cats. Cats do both. I think they. They also stretch like this too. I've seen. I see dinosaurs.

Have you ever a cow like this? Like a scary.

No. No, I don't. No, I don't see cows do. I see cats do both. Do the. The cat. Do the cat. The cat crouch?

I don't know, but. Oh, yeah, like a cat stretch. Like when you like, go down like that. Like.

Yeah, like a downward dog.

I feel like Weenie definitely does this one.

The.

The arch back.

Yeah, I've seen it. But Matt, I f you finally understand what I go through maybe once I'm.

Welcome to our world.

Terrible.

This is lower back pain I think I've ever had in my life. And you, when we were roommates. I remember. Yeah. You and Todd, you guys have it all the time. I'm like, that doesn't happen to me.

Yeah, it's. And it's. Honestly, it. It stems from your hips, really. Like, you get lower back pain, but it's your hips that like, really is like the. The. The foundation of where the pain is.

That's what I know. I've been doing like every little YouTube video just trying to just keep sciatic related. I don't know. I think it was because I was doing some deadlifts, like, late last week, and now I'm like, feeling the pain from it. And then now I'm just like, I don. Want to do a deadlift ever again.

The thing is that exercise, it's a great exercise. It's one of like, the best ones for building muscle, like all around. But the margin and like, room for error. When you're doing a deadlift, you can really, really injure yourself if you're not doing it like perfectly correct.

Every chiropractor and every person that. That like, you kind of stretches me out, they all say, stop doing deadlifts. Stop doing behind the, like, neck. You know, like the. The skull crushers, they're like, skull crushers.

Are bad for you.

I mean, for me, they're just. They're just like, stop doing it. It's. You're doing more damage than building muscle. There Are there are workouts you can do that you can build that muscle without like straining your shit.

So what is the deadlift machine alternative? I love me a machine. Like you can, you can, I don't.

Know, you could do the one where you know, you're like at a 45 degree angle at the waist, your legs are on it and your ankles are up against a bar and you can lean yourself over.

Oh, I think I've always been too intimidated to do that one.

Yeah, you like are at an angle like this and you just flex at your hip and go put your like head to the ground. Okay. Like this. And it uses. You're doing like your own body weight. And then once you get comfortable, you can like hold a plate on your like in front of you.

Oh, right, that.

And go all the way down and that's really good.

While changing your workouts to something where you're not damaging yourself, you have to stay like stretching and like, because that really, if I don't. Again, I said to somebody, if you don't stretch or get those like deep tissue massage, if you don't, if you're not consistent with that, you will hurt yourself after a workout.

Do you stretch more before workout or after a workout?

Um, I tend to do it after. It's good to warm up your body instead of like getting right into lifting. But I like to do it after because it like, it tires me out when I like do those deep stretches after work. I get so tired of get lightheaded. I'm like, I don't want to like. So I like to do it. I like to do it after a workout. It helps me. But I know there's people that like to do it before. But I think it's important to warm up before, which. Yeah, I know people like to warm up by stretching or getting just like should their shoulders moving. All that.

I've learned a lot though. That actually does really help. Is the. It's kind of like an icy hot roll on.

Oh yeah. Like a bio freezer.

Like the little kind of like a bingo Dauber.

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

And you just kind of like, dude, that stuff is unbelievable. It helps so much when I get like really bad lower back pain.

I see hot's really good. I know they have like healthier alternatives because I know that stuff is not the best for you, but do have like alternatives.

You can get like capsaicin.

Yeah.

Capsaicin cream is really good.

Yeah.

Oh, good.

It's really good.

And like Tiger Balm.

Tiger Bomb. Tiger Amazing one.

It's good. It just like stay consistent with that. Especially since we're getting older, we want to keep working out because a lot of people like, there's a lot of people that are getting older, they just stop working out.

Yeah.

But like we want to keep going. We want to keep like stay in shape. You have to like take care of your body.

99% of men over 30 will never do a full out sprint again for the rest of their life.

90, how much?

Absurd. Like 99%.

Oh really?

Will never do like a full, full sprint ever again in their life. I asked my brother, I was like, when was the last time you did a full sprint? He's like, I don't know. Probably like 15 years ago.

Full sprint.

Yeah.

Sometimes I do like to run by myself if like I'm not in a hurry, but I just don't want to walk so slow. I'll just like run in public. I feel like it's very jarring when people see me because I'm just like, I'll run through a mall like just to get to where I need to get.

But just to keep your body moving. Just like, like watching, like watching something or listening something that you enjoy while on a treadmill. Just make it a habit where you like whenever you want to watch something, just hop on a treadmill.

Yeah.

Or like whenever you want to listen, just hop on a treadmill because you know you're going to do it anyways. You know you're going to watch that movie at night, you're going to watch your favorite show. Just learn to do it on treadmill. And it just, it just makes you feel better.

It helps the time pass while you're.

Exactly. You get a deeper sleep.

It's again it's a good like habit stacking or you get motivates you to go to the gym because not only getting into workout, you get to go watch a favorite.

Yeah. I like, I remember like when I was doing those 10,000 steps, I couldn't wait to do it because I know I wanted to watch my favorite show.

Yeah.

And like I can't wait to watch it because I'm gonna, I'm gonna have.

To do a Walmart and it's so satisfying. Like I watch the West Wing like every time I'm working out the west on season five and it's 20 episodes a season and it's so like, it's so rewarding to be like shows how.

Much you've like worked like Lost.

Yes. Because every single one of those episodes is me working out so it feels good to.

I always. I always. I wish I. I wish my shoes had, like, a mile. Like a odometer.

Yeah.

To see how many miles I've put on my shoes.

Didn't Nike used to have that, like, this little, like, secret compartment where it was like, I think almost like a little Fitbit thing?

Interesting.

In this shoe. Like the Nike. I don't know. I feel like it was.

But they've probably realized that you're much better off just having it on your phone.

Yeah.

Then on your shoes. Because you're not wearing those shoes all day. But you do have your phone most of the time. More than your shoes. Yeah.

Let's run that intro.

Let's run that.

Of course.

Let's run that intro, baby. It's Coffee Talk, baby. Welcome back to Zane and Heath Unfiltered. I am Zane.

I'm He.

I'm Matt.

I'm Mariah.

And this is.

Oh.

And. And welcome back to your favorite podcast.

How y'all doing?

Higher World.

Mariah lost her voice. She's going to be a little bit quiet.

From Sabrina Carpenter.

Yeah, we just. Just a wild weekend. What do you do, Mariah? How does it feel losing your voice like me every week? Talk about it.

Use that voice.

I don't know how you go through this all the time.

It's. It puts you in a bad fuck.

It rarely happens.

Terrible.

It mostly happens to me when we go out with everybody, and I'm already anticipating that. I know the next morning I'm going to be shot. I'll tell Heath, like, because when we hang out with the friend group, we have to. Especially you. Like, I have to match your energy. And I. No, no, no, it's me. Like, I told you for your birthday dinner, I was like, listen, I need to, like, not talk and not laugh. I'm not in a bad mood. I just. I. This is gonna get worse.

I see it in front of me.

Well, it didn't even matter because as soon as I'm in that environment, I just want to match everybody else's energy. Like, I can't control it because I don't want people to think I'm in a bad mood.

Yeah. But then until I, like, see videos back of myself and I'm like. Like, when I get. When I. Yeah, when I get to a certain drunk, I just, like, I was like, in my house. I was so fun last night. I see videos. I'm like, oh, my God, I look scared. It's scary.

Happened.

Not making sense. Crazy. And I'm talking. I'M at. I'm. I'm energetic. Like, I'm upset. It's the craziest thing.

Yeah. Aggressive talk.

I look upset, but I'm actually not. Like, I'm having the time of my life, but, like, I have these. Like, it's scary, and I need to. I need to really think, too.

Is like, every. Every time we do something for a birthday event. But whatever it is, the environment is so loud. The music is uncomfortably loud, and it's like, you have to literally scream.

Yeah. That is, like, my big. I don't like talking over the music. I already can't see because it's dark. Then I have to talk over the music, and, like, everybody's just screaming at each other, and I'm like. I can't really.

When someone is so loud right next to you, like, in your. Like. Yeah, I have to angle my head, like, a way. It's like, almost like they have, like, bad breath. But you're just, like. You are speaking so loud right now.

Like, she's right. The music does not have to be that loud.

It really.

In places, it really does.

Having to scream over music.

I get concerts, but, like, when you're at, like, a bar or a restaurant, it's just a. Just even.

I can't even be in the car with Heath and have music on if we're talking. Like, I'm like, just shut it completely. 0oh, my.

We're getting. We're so old.

The people listen.

They're just like, shut up.

I was just telling Mariah, like, the past, like, year, I've developed this, like, really bad, like, audio sensory issue where it just, like. Like, anything that's a little bit loud is, like, piercing my ear, and I'm like, I lit. It gives me, like, a headache. I literally can't handle it anymore.

Yeah, you got.

It's so bad.

Get headphones or wear earplugs.

There's some earplugs I have in my Amazon cart, but I'm waiting for, like, Christmas task for it. But just. You can put them, like, in a little, like, almost like a. Yeah, I want, like, little air pod case. But you just have them, and you put them in. Next time you're out and about, no one can tell you have them in.

Oh, there was these ear plugs that I was gonna get for Coachella, but they weren't gonna come in time. They look like earrings.

Wait, what?

Yeah, they're really cool. They're just, like, silver or gold.

Yeah, I think this is the same one.

They're really Cool.

Wait, I might guess I just wanted.

To, like, bring it down a little bit. Yeah.

Just muffle it just to create a little bit of a barrier. But I'm having a tough time, like, hearing people, too, like, talking.

I don't have bad ears when I'm older.

Welcome to my life.

The thing that I was explaining to Zane the other day, he was like, you explained it perfectly. When we're in, like, a crazy environment, whether it's dark, loud, crowded, like at Disney, it was horrible. I. I have to pick one sense out of the five senses to, like, focus on. Focus on. I can only hear, I can only see, I can only smell.

Like you're overstimulated.

Yeah, I guess. I guess that's what it is.

I get it, though. It's like when people turn the. The radio down when they're trying to find the street or a house.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's like, you can't. Like, you need to focus on your eyes right now and pay only attention to that.

Everything else goes away. It's not like my choice to be like, okay, you and me right now. It's just like, literally all my senses are gone. Like, when we were on the. This is a good example. When we were on the Incredicoaster, there was. We had the camera, we were filming, so I was focused on, like, looking good for the camera and screaming. And Alicia was like, did you see this? Did you smell the cookies? I'm like, yeah.

They put a cookie smell on the ride. Did you know that?

Which ride?

Incredible. They put like, oh, because it's like, part of the ride. Because there's like a cookies.

I knew that, like, in the main street, they pump smells to, like, oh.

My gosh, bubba sense. Because I didn't smell it either. And then everybody was also, like, what song did you get? What song did they play during the ride? I was like, they played a song.

Oh, like the rocket riding Universal. You know that where I go straight up. They're like, what song? I was like, I don't even know. I don't remember what I clicked. I. It. That's why, like, podcasting is so hard because there's just so many senses. I have to listen, I have to speak, and I also have to process. I know thinking is not a sense. It is for me, like, having to process what you guys are saying and trying to think of not only something that makes sense, which never does, but something funny, which barely. It's really, really tough. I just have a hard time.

Speaking of senses, Patricia and I, something Went down in our house. Well, so it was around Friday. Patricia, you know, had been, like, cleaning the house. It was, you know, just a normal Friday. I think I went out that night. Patricia stayed in. I come home, and it just. Something smells, like, off in the house. Like, it smells like garbage, smells sour. And I'm like, but this is crazy, because the whole house is. Something smelled sour in the house. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? Because, like. And I look in the garbage, and I'm like, Patricia and I go, do you not smell this? And Patricia and I, we had been conflicted because the days leading up, Patricia bought incense. And I'm not a fan of incense. Incense, to me, just smell like a smoke shop.

Or it's like Champlain, that type of incense.

She got some nice ones down in Beverly Hills.

Because your white baby, us heirs, we love that. It smells so good.

Trisha kind of thinks I'm just being, like, passive aggressive on my. Something smells bad. And she. She's like, oh, what you. It's the incense is. You don't like the incense? And I'm like, no, I really don't think it's the incense. Like, that was a whole other conversation. But I go, something smells sour. We're looking around, we're trying to see, like, did some. Was somebody over here and spilled like, a glass of milk, like, in the corner. So it was sour. And then we're like, I don't know. Let's just go to bed and deal with it. Then the next day, I start smelling it again. And I'm like, what is that?

Is it throughout the whole house or just a section?

Just in our living room. In the dining room.

Yeah.

So I'm like, is there trash? He's like, I've cleaned every nook and cranny of this place. And then I'm like, okay, well, I don't know what it is. It just smells like garbage. And also, our neighbors had some garbage outside. And I was like, maybe that's getting in. And then Sunday rolls around and it's unmistakable. And remember what we talked about a couple weeks ago about the squirrel in the roof?

I don't want to hear it.

Well, so I'm. Now I go, something's dead. Something is dead in this house. And it has to be that squirrel, because remember, I was so conflicted for the people. If you didn't listen to the episode. There's event right above our. The Eve in the front of our place where I knew a squirrel was up nesting and all of that And I was so conflicted. Do I call animal control, or should we guard up the hole? Or. How are they gonna get. I don't want the squirrel to get trapped in it. And then I'm like, okay, well, the squirrel is dead. And now Patricia's suddenly, like, something is dead. You're actually on very.

It's like whenever something dies in your walls or in the roof, it is such a pungent, distinct.

But it's that.

It's all.

It's like, such. It's so close to garbage, though. You just have to let it, like, keep smelling for a few days. And then it, like, has that turn. It turns weird hint, that's past garbage. You're like, oh, that's rot. It is.

It's unmistakable. Because I remember Patricia at her, like, family's lake house. They had a squirrel that snuck into the house, went into one of the beds and, like, nested in the bed because it was freezing cold. And it was, like, during the winter when they weren't there, and it died in the bed. And I remember us coming because her mom was so conflicted. Like, they had cleaned everything, but they still felt like it smelt. I remember going in the room being like, oh, you never forget, like, what a dead animal smells like. It almost smells like burnt. It's. Oh, it's disgusting. But then, so it's like, Sunday, and, you know, we're trying to tell the, like, landlord, but, like, they're not gonna get someone out there on a Sunday. And I was like, then I was just driven crazy all day smelling this animal, going to bed, knowing something is actually rotting.

Like, go buy, like, an outlet or go.

I went up close to the vent, and I couldn't smell it, but I could smell it in the room.

So the wall.

This is where I was like, maybe it's not in the ceiling, but it has to be. It has to be that squirrel. So we finally talk to the landlord. The landlord gets pest control or an animal removal, which props to anybody who has that job. Mad respect. Because you have to go into all these weird nook and crannies. Do you have a sniff out with your own nose? Pick up something? That's what.

A crawl space under your house.

So we tell our neighbors, right when this is all kind of going down, we're smelling something. We asked them, are you guys smelling anything, like, bad in your place? Because we think that there's a squirrel dead in our roof. And they go, no, but they have a dog. And the guy goes, our dog. When I was out in the back yesterday was sniffing under the crawl space. And he works out on his. Or he works on his motorcycle. And he said he kept smelling something bad the other day, and he felt like it must have been coming from the crawl space. And I go, okay, great. So we let the animal guy know, maybe it's not the ceiling. Check the crawl space. He goes in the ceiling, goes, there's nothing. I think it's coming from the crawl space. He goes down in the crawl space and bit of a language barrier. And I wasn't, like, with him watch. Actively watching it.

Yeah.

But he finally knocks and goes, everything's good. It's great. And I'm like, what was it? He was like, rats. And I was like, oh, it was a rat.

Yeah.

Okay, great.

That's. Normally. That's my first. Usually the first thing that I think of is a dead rat when I smell something instead of, like, anything else.

So we said, brad. And we're like, oh, great. Thank you so much. Now we know. And then we messaged our landlord just saying, hey, they got it removed. Thank you so much. It apparently was a rat. And our landlord goes, it wasn't a rat. It was a raccoon. Oh, a raccoon. So I guess the guy didn't know how to say raccoon. It was just, like, rat. And weren't you.

I thought, like, I thought you were saying on the other podcast that it was. You thought it was a raccoon that was up there, not a squirrel.

No, it was a squirrel. Because a raccoon could not get in through that opening. And you can hear squirrels have, like, a pitter patter about the way they move. Like, raccoons kind of crawl around.

Yeah. Crawl space.

So then it was like, oh, raccoon. Like, a raccoon is like a borderline, like, cat.

That's a big. That's a big.

Oh. And so, yeah, it turned out to be a raccoon that was rotten in our crawl space.

Did he check, like, the outlets at all? Because I know that's a huge thing with, like, outlets where, like, a rat will get caught up in, like, the wiring and it'll die right next to the outlet. So you just smell it through the out, like, burnt. Just dead rat.

Chris. I don't know. I wish I busted out my Google Translate app to, like, get the full story.

Yeah.

Because I was a little, like, wooden tea. But he was being so brief.

See him, like, do the extraction?

No. No. Because I also didn't. I don't know. It's like one of those things where you're like, go handle it. I don't want to watch it. And especially if a guy is like working that hard, going deep under my house, it's just like, I don't know. I already feel bad that like, he has to do that dirty of a job. Like, I don't know.

They should have a device. You know how like there's a device when like you're close to like a dead animal? Not a dead an. It's like a device where it. It detects rot. Like. Like just straight rot.

Where like like a carbon monoxide, but a. Yeah, dead.

Like dead particles or dead.

Like what if you put your Thur thermo goggles on, could you see?

Yeah.

Like, oh, you lies around.

If it was dead for a while, it probably would have lost its heat.

Yeah.

So maybe not dependent. But if it was like fresh, you would definitely see like a warm body underneath there.

At some point it goes away because it like just decays. Right. And then it just turns into like bones. Yeah. And you can't like, smell. Yeah.

Eventually something can rot to the point where the smell just goes away. And now it's just bones, but. And thank goodness this happened before we went away for Thanksgiving. Imagine coming back after an airport so excited just to crawl up in bed. And it is day five of rigor mortis.

It's crazy because, like, animals can smell that stuff so well and like pinpoint exactly where it is. Like, almost every animal we've ever buried in our backyard has been re. Dug up days later.

Oh.

Like we've. We've. We had like the duck that passed away. We like put it in and dug it a hole.

And did you put it in like a. Inside like a container or bot or you just.

No, not in a container, but we like wrapped it up in like a. Like a paper towel and then like dug a big hole and stuff. Stuff it in there and then like covered it with dirt. Ripped up when we. When our chicken died, we buried our chicken. Ripped up like days later. And that something dug and scratched all the way down through what we had just done and pulled it right out.

Oh, they're just scavengers. They just want to like, get the remains of what's left of something. Yeah. Yeah.

So interesting.

Is there. Is there such thing as like an animal cemetery? You know, like, is that an actual thing? Do they. Do they bury him in like, like a full. There's some bugs and doesn't get to it.

It's a good business. Some people just want Also the peace of mind of knowing. Because if you bury it in your backyard, what happens if you move? You can never, like, have that place to remember it.

Yeah.

A cemetery is not going anywhere, so it's a good business.

I wonder what. What type of, like, what type of pesticides are putting in, like, where cemeteries are to, like, keep it.

Well, they create bodies. Or, wait, not cremate. They, like. They pump bodies with formaldehyde.

Yeah.

Like, human bodies don't decompose because the embalm of them. They embalm bodies.

I just wonder if they, like, if there's something special they just put everywhere on the grass. So, like, just keep it.

Like some sort of, like, fertilizer to keep them from something.

Yeah, something. I just feel like. Yeah, just like. Just like the good cemeteries, you know? Like, you see the cemeteries that are, like, out, and, like, with all the white crosses that. You know. That one. That one looks beautiful. I know they're doing some, I think, keeping it.

I think that one's a military one right off the 400.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. It is.

Yeah. I think that one is a military.

But back in the day before they had, like, embalming, though. Whoo.

They look like the horror graveyards. Like, everything is tilted.

So. Yep, that's what went down. And thank goodness we.

Yeah, that's got it taken care of. We had, like, a little smell in the front of our house. Remember, like, every time you'd walk in, you'd smell it right in front of the house, but you'd go away when you pass, like, the. The front entry. It just went away. The smell just went away after, like, a week and a half, two weeks. And. And I'm sure there's a. There's a rotting animal.

Yeah, definitely. It's a circle. Alive.

Yeah. Because I. I genuinely thought it was, like, garbage, because, like. Like, the garbage was. Smell, like, exactly the same.

I just hope. I was so worried at one point. It was like, maybe a squirrel went up there and, like, had its babies, which also. You never see squirrels and, like, their babies, like.

Or pigeons.

Yeah. Pigeons don't make a nest and lay eggs.

I've never seen a baby pigeon.

I've never seen a pregnant squirrel.

But a bird. But a bird. Like, by the time it stays in the nest and they feed it, feed it, feed it, and then the bird can finally, like, get its wings and, like. Yeah, but I was worried that a squirrel had gotten in there, had its babies, and the squirrels couldn't get out, and they all died. Like, I Thought I was, but.

Oh, I have never seen a baby squirrel like that with a bigger squirrel. That's.

That's cute.

They must stay close. Yeah, it's AI.

Whatever.

But a lot of times animals, like, they usually. They go away to die. Like. Yeah, cats will go away to die. Like, they. That's why if there was. They. Obviously they die all the time, like squirrels and things, but they'll find somewhere to go away. Yeah, die. Like, they don't, like, just do it out in your front lawn because squirrels.

Did you guys see the house that was filled with acorns that they found in the hall? You didn't see that?

They were just.

They were. They were trying to extract something, and it too. It was insane. Hold on.

Is this it?

Like, what were that many acorn or. I mean, look at that.

That is.

That's crazy.

That was their Social Security. That was their ira. That was everything.

How many. Like, how many years does that take you? Because that's not one squirrel, buddy.

I'm worried. That is my entire living room.

Good insulation. You got some extra warmth in the.

Get a little bit of, like, some.

Cedar nuts for the winter. If you get hungry, it adds a.

Nice, like, cozy cabin vibe smell to your place.

You can't, like, eat acorns, right? They're not, like, digestible, I don't think.

I think you can.

You can. You could chop it up real fine.

I think they were, like, really hard to eat. Like an acorn. There's a nut inside the acorn, and that is that maybe the nut, but I don't think we.

You gotta remove something first, but, yeah, you can. What does it say? Remove the tannins.

Wait. Oh, my God. I'm. I'm getting confused what an acorn looks like. I thought the acorns are, like, the shape of.

Like that.

Yeah, like that. Okay. Okay. That's it, though. What they're showing in from coming from the house. They look like giant almonds. Yeah, there's a lot of different salted.

Corn butter acorn, but I've never had acorn butter.

It comes out. It's all these acorns, but it's like barbecue salted acorns. You're like dill pick.

Damn.

Wait a minute. This is.

Just Got that ranch powder on it.

Yeah. This is wasabi Usabi.

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Have you guys seen the. The uproar about the new Tropicana bottle?

No, Tell me.

Apparently people are really, really upset. You know the classic just shape of the Tropicana bottle that everybody's been.

Yeah, it's like a flower vase kind of.

It's really nice. It fits in the hand well but they just changed it and oh, it just looks like a.

Everyone switching to Airwind.

Yeah.

One like that. Air1 Everybody wants to be erewhon.

So for the people listening, it basically looks like it's a. The new bottle is like a juice bottle or one of the fancy. Yeah, it's like you know what's the.

It looks like a milk jug. I actually like it.

I understand why they did that because think even think about what's that place that sells all those juices in the.

Like cold pressed juice.

Creation.

Creation.

Creation. That's not like a countrywide store but creation. It's like they just want it. Like they want to make it look healthy.

Yeah.

And that looks healthy.

And it looks like it's glass.

Probably not.

No, I wouldn't way too much.

I bet they're also trying to like. Do you know how Sprite got rid of making like the green bottles because in terms of like, littering and when you see whole things of garbage, it's pretty identifiable. Which ones are Sprite? Yeah, they. They want to get rid of their distinguishing bottles so they can blend in with the trash of the everybody else, so.

Interesting.

That's a big strategy. It's unmistakable what a Tropicana bottle is.

Was so iconic, though.

I get it. I get like little like your. How that your fingers feel when it open. I get it.

It's easier to grab too. There's a bit of a neck to it, that one. You got to hold it close.

You know, guys, let's not forget that wasn't even original. They changed that maybe like four years ago. Like, the bottle used to be, like, used to be really thin and then it goes down. Yeah, it used to be used to.

Look like a genie. Have, like a handle on it.

Can you look up, like, all the. The shapes of the bottles? Because I know there was one before.

That, like, in a bottle history. I don't know.

There's no.

I might think it's always been like.

Wait, wait, I'm thinking of another brand, maybe so.

Or if it was more like.

I'm thinking simply orange, maybe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a good bottle, though. But I will say this new rebrand didn't make me nearly as upset as the new Jaguar logo. Have you guys seen it?

No, no.

To meet the Jaguar logo.

Oh, wait, I know that, like, the logo is like mid air, right?

Or there's a.

There's a. Gonna lose your mind.

What? No, that's not it.

Yes, it is.

No, it's not.

That looks like a wireless. Like a cell phone service company.

The Bubbly Soda. You know, bubbly.

I get what they're trying to do, but you don't do that.

This is for the ultra luxury EVs. Is this what it is?

This is their new rebrand.

Jaguar reveals new logo and branding for that ultra luxury.

So bad they're trying to brand because they're probably trying to switch all to electric. Correct.

Yeah. The majority of their now are electric.

Okay. All right, so I get it. It just sucks because, I mean, that old.

That logo is just type in bubbly soda.

Oh, the bubbly brand. Yeah. Sorry. Just.

This is what they call this whole movement.

It's.

It's this exact font.

No, it's. Yes, yes.

Oh, no, that's literally it.

They should do a collab.

They call this whole movement the, like the bland movement for brands. Or they're calling them, like, blands. Like they're making Brands look more bland and bland because they think that, like, test better. It looks like newer age and all of that.

But I know we're gonna get out of this. I just wonder when I know this is gonna become, like.

It'll come back.

It'll come back. Look at beer cans, man. Like, that's why Miller Light looked a certain whole way for us when we weren't drinking. And by the time we could drink, they went back to the 70s, like, style. Bud Light is now totally different than how it looked in the 2000s. It's a generational thing, and I do think by the time we're 50 or so, kids will want it to look. Or kids. But, yeah, younger people like odes to the past.

So I thought we were in our, like, vintage era. You know what I mean? I thought we were like. We were all, like, going back to, like, how we used to. Used to dress in the 80s. Like, I thought we were working our way back, but I guess not.

Now we're in the air one era.

Wow.

Also, I. I saw a Honda the other day that had a totally different font on the back also. It looked very similar.

It was real. It was like, unrecognizable.

Is it like their new. Their new brand or is this something they just had for, like a collab or something?

That's it. Yeah, look, that's on the back of cars now.

Oh, like that.

It's interesting.

I think it kind of looks like.

Very retro, futuristic concept. Was it a concept car that we saw?

I. I think it was one of their newer evs.

Matt, you know how everybody texting lowercase font now. I get it. They're just. They're trying to. They really want to make that lowercase H. They just can't do it yet because they'll piss too many people off.

That's. That's what I saw.

Interesting. How do you guys feel about this? Is actually, I. I think about this all the time, but I want to get your thoughts. What do you. When you go to Spotify, you go to, like, an artist, like, different artists. The artists will, like, keep their, like, you know, capitalized and then lower font. Like, like how you normally write. Artists will put all lowercase. Artists will put all uppercase like Billy Eilish. And then artists will, like, take words of a song and they'll squish it all together into one word.

I've seen that.

Does that annoy you? Do you, like, a certain way? Does it both. Does it not bother you?

My, my. What do you think is just Standard, like, uppercase, first letter and then just, like, normal.

I think it depends on the reflection of, like, the artists. Like, certain people can kind of get away with it, or it reflects, like, their artistry and their image and stuff that they're, like, hip like that. Like, I think it'd be very weird if, like, Barbra Streisand put out an album and all of her tracks were, like, in all fucking caps. I'd be like, what the hell? She's trying to be like Brockhampton here.

No, Well, I mean, for Barbra Streisand, because she is, like, a much classic older, but, like, I feel like any artist right now can do anything.

Yeah.

I think it goes back to when I would download something from Limewire. It would all be in one thing squished together. There would be no space, like a file. And I would take the time and I would make the artist name, like, proper. I would make the, you know, the name of the song proper. And I would do that because, like, it was up to you how it would sort in your, like, like MP3.

Oh, you know what? I didn't even think. When they take the words and squish it together in one word, I didn't even think about that. That's definitely how they.

I don't know if they thought they did it. To go back to, like, it would be, like, all in one little thing.

Good.

So it could be like, that's like the esthetic.

Like, to me, Billy Eilish does all caps because she loved, like, the YouTube thumbnails that people put, like, like, clickbait.

She said that?

No, no. But in my head, I'm like, why else would you just do, like, all caps? It's because she probably as it. Like, if she was a YouTuber, she would want, like, everything, like, in caps.

And I think it makes you, like, unmistakable on, like, any type of playlist. If you're on the Discover playlist and there's a whole bunch of stuff like the one that's in all caps that catches your eye a little bit faster than apparently.

Now YouTube is ranking you lower on algorithms. If you use all caps for your title. Oh, it's kind of like a knock against it. And they kind of like, hide your video more than it.

You know what? I don't have a problem with that. I think the all cap stuff looks so junky. Or it makes YouTube look junky. If it looked like, like. I mean, imagine getting on Netflix in every movie was, like, in all caps and stuff.

That'd be sickening.

I Mean, let the thumbnails be as crazy as you want.

I wish they did. I wish they did reward people for not, like, trying to do clickbait. Because they just. I know they don't because the only way it works is clickbait. But you know how, like, Emma Chamberlain just started just doing regular thumbnails. Like, the thumbnail had nothing to do anything. She would just.

It's like a legit screen grab from.

I thought. I thought that we were heading the right direction where, like, I thought, oh, maybe YouTube is, like, pushing videos like this. But it was just Emma Train. She's just like, she'll get those views, people. It doesn't matter what she does.

Yeah, yeah.

But I wish I, like, I would love to go to YouTube and everything is just a normal thumbnail with a normal title. Like, it's nothing is too, like, over the top and because aggressive clickbait to.

Me just looks like a scam. Like, I'm not going to see that in the video.

You're gonna be like, I'm not gonna click this one one. Because I already know.

Especially people like, new house tour, and it's like a fake house. And once again, we all did this. Yeah.

Oh, you brand new house tour, and.

They get some random ass house. I go, that's not what I wanted to see. This house you like or, like, new car, and it's like a Lamborghini and there's like, it's not a Lamborghini.

Okay. No, a new car is crazy. I understand. Like, house makeover. You put another hot, like, new car. That's too far. I'm gonna really have to bring it down. This episode. Matt's family member died in his house.

Yeah, you make that the clickbait.

Matt's long time, a long lifetime pet perishes in front of his eyes.

Matt loses best friend in this home accident.

No, that's dead body that found a dead body in their house. Decaying, rotten parentheses decay.

And you have, like, the picture of it, but it's, like a little blurred.

And like, you know, you have, like, some sort of human feature.

Yeah, like, I blur out, like, the animal removal guy. Like, taking it out. Looks like it's in a body bag.

There's like a skull and bones, like, toxic, like, yes, warning thing.

Don't call me out like that. Come on. I did that three years ago.

Did you guys hear about this insurance claim that they're busted?

That was in my notes. Oh, my. Dude.

So there was an insurance company got a claim saying that these. These people who Owned a Rolls Royce. That a bear, Matt?

Yes, I did see this.

So people who don't know these. These people claimed that a bear entered their Rolls Royce and caused a bunch of damage. Scratch marks everywhere.

Scratch markers are just too perfect.

Scratch marks, very even looking blades. It just almost looks like knives went through it.

I can.

To add to the claim, they go, and guess what? We got it on footage. So you can watch this little security camera footage of what appears to be a bear entering this car and scratching it up. But upon further review, they realize this.

Is not an actual bear. But my like, Matt, those literally perfect, perfect scratches. And how big is this bear?

You know what I mean?

Like, they made it so wide where it just makes. No.

So in the video, that's a. Yeah, it's a person in a bear suit.

And they found the bear suit at their house.

They arrived, they go, we think this is bullshit. Search through the whole person's house and sure enough finds a bitch. Better have my money. Bear suit.

Multiple things that really piss me off when I watch this because when I saw this, I was like, wait a second. This is a genius idea for someone that like, but you have to do, do it in the perfect way. And I couldn't wait to see it. First off, the scratch marks, way too perfect. Just look up scratch marks on YouTube and you'll see how imperfect they are.

They were all in a perfect, perfect line.

I would have bought. I think I would. How would I have done it? I think I would have bought like a taxidermied like bear paw. Almost like. So the placement of where the scratches would be.

It's coming from a real stick.

Hooks or like, I don't know, get some bear DNA, get some bear piss.

Yeah.

And you know, and come here.

And then second off, I watched a video of the guy in the car in the bear suit. Right? I was like. The first few seconds, I'm like, this looks really good. I'm not gonna lie. But the way he's moving just for. Oh, so infuriate. He's moving like this.

Yeah.

Like moving his head.

Like.

Like a human. Like a human. I'm like, dude, you could have done it so good.

They should have just planted a bunch of honey and like food in the car. It's like bait.

A real bear will go and break into cars and like, do this and.

They, and they, they will. If there is food there, they will come. Like if they can smell that from Rolls Royce.

Do you think this was the plan all along? Let's get the Rolls Royce Stage the bear. And because the Rolls Royce is so expensive, the payout would be better because it's a luxury.

No, no.

Never get. I. What I think it is is they couldn't afford the payments anymore.

Mmm.

And they were probably upside down on the car and they were like, we need to just get out of this. Because you would never do this to make money. Right. Like, you can't be like, I'm gonna buy it.

Pay off the car.

Yes. So it just, like, it's a salve. Like, it. You just. Insurance takes care of it.

Oh.

So they're. So they're down to, like, drive up in a beaten car, but just to, like. But just pay it off. Like, I still don't understand that.

I think they were just, like, upside down and, like. Like, couldn't afford the payment. So it's like, we need to get out of this car. Like, and this was what they came up.

But a bear. But a bear up your car gets you out of payments on the car.

It would be. You would hope that the damage would be so much that they would either total the car or they would. Like, it would be unrepairable. Right.

I mean, that's a lot. You have to do a lot of damage to a car to, like, total a car.

Well, if it's a Rolls Royce or something super expensive, like. Like to have insurance pay for all new upholstery and everything, it's like, it's. It's an absurd amount of money.

He grabs a bat in the bear suit.

That's crazy.

But get rid of the bear suit.

Yeah. That was last final straw.

That was like, oh, let's. No, we got to say this.

He did not think it through.

Idiots. Like, just no thinking went into that.

I. I was it even in bear.

Territory area where they were like, yeah, like downtown la. Yeah.

Like, I'm sorry. There's not even bears nearby. I would have had, like, my, like, son or something. Be like a cub. Like a bear cub suit. Like a family. Like, but, like.

But here, let's. But let's think about, like, this situation. He did the bear claw perfectly with a fake bear suit. He went into the car, not too far, where you see a little bear, and the bear suit is gone right there. I know, I know they are. There's a way to figure it out. How do you think they'd be able to figure it? Like, to me, I think they would, like, look at the DNA of the claw and see how, like, fresh.

Yeah.

Like. Like, if it was a real barrel or it was like a dead bear. Like, I don't know. I feel like they would figure out a way to see if fake. That was because they recorded that. Go.

That looks pretty good, right? No, I think it's fine. I bet they were stoners. Just like, dude, we got it.

They definitely. They go.

That's good.

They came up with it when they were high, but they were. They were definitely sober when they did that. They thought they were.

Then they just wrecked their own car.

Yeah.

And now you. Now you're caught for insurance fraud.

So now I. I wonder, you know, how, like, every time something new happens, they come up there, like, okay, now we need to figure out how to.

How to not.

Not let this happen again. I just wonder now, those protocols, they probably now have all these taxidermize animals to like. To, like, try to match it with these marks.

It was really bad.

Damn. So cool. I love stories like that. It's my favorite.

It's so funny looking at the suit, though. Did you see the way that they did the claws?

Oh, yeah. It was like.

It is so bad.

It looks like brass knuckles, but just, like, all these, like, blades, I think. Right?

It is really funny.

Yeah.

Oh, it looks like, like, okay, first of all, look at the shape of the. The claws on the actual suit. And then they thought that little fork.

That things to, like, pull, like, shred meat.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or you can also, like, cut an onion with them. Or, like, you put it on top, and it chops up, like, whatever it is you're.

I would love. If this gets to the guys, I would love to do, like, a quick call in. Like, I. I really want to know what your guys are.

Like, what were y'all think?

Like, what were y'all thinking? And we'll be nice. We swear we won't be, like, you know, making. But we just really want to know where the thought process was.

They're in California.

California.

I would love to have them on, like, our first guest in a long time.

We start doing, like, web deb redemptions.

Oh, my Heath. I just wish it was, like, just e. Like, easy enough to, like, reach out because they don't want to be on camera. Like, this is embarrassing, but I just wish there was a way.

I. If that was my kid and they just did that, I would be mortified.

Yeah.

Like, your son pulled that scam, and.

It'S all over the news, and. Oh, yeah, I would just be like.

I would only be pissed if he did it like this. If he did it. If he got away with it. I'D be like, I am so proud of you. I'm so proud of you.

Creative, but.

But, like. But you're, you know, you're like, I caught. No, you better tell them. I would have, like, made it right. But, you know, it's an absolute disappointment.

Big one. And I think it's the coolest job. Like, people who do, like, house fire forensic to see if it was a fraud. Oh, yeah, because people will burn their house down and do a similar thing. And then you say, like, yeah, you know, I was away, it caught fire, my house burned down. And then you get all the insurance.

This just looks like gasoline was poured right on the living room rug.

Realize that you can trace everything to the exact point where the fire started.

To me saying that they can do that.

It is so cool. They can tell if it's an electrical fire that started it. Get, like, everything.

Yeah.

How would you do it?

And people don't realize.

How would you.

What if you wanted to burn your house on? How would you do it?

I would buy electric. Electric by, like, some super cheap, terrible, reviewed electronic, like, battery off of, like, Amazon or something. And then you just know it's gonna combust. You, like, you have to buy, like.

A faulty battery really smart to do it the electric way and not get caught. But they're. They're pretty keen to catching that stuff, too.

Damn. Okay, imagine, though, your house did burn down and you did nothing. And they're like, they'll figure it out, though.

But what sucks is that if someone else does it to your house, you know what I mean? Then you're like, kind of screws, like, someone burned your house. I don't have anybody that hates me, but it was just like a random. Random. Just like, what you would have to.

Do is you would have to start making homemade candles for a few years and that, like, becomes your thing. And then, like, you can make like. Because if you used a regular candle to burn your house down, people be like, these don't.

Yeah.

Break and, like, catch fire.

Isn't that, like, completely your fault? Like, is that, like, does insurance cover you having a candle business and, like, one of the candles burned down your house? You know what I mean? I feel like that's, like, your fault.

Like, yeah, there's got to be negligence.

Yeah. Because there's got to be, like, negligence or, like, if we don't cover that shit. Right. Right.

Probably.

Oh, I. I don't know. I would never have the balls to ever do something like that.

No way.

Worth it.

Absolutely not.

Ain't worth it is.

Isn't the number one fire fire starter is candles or is that not.

Is that true?

I would say it's electrical. Probably be candles.

There was that one person. They had like a. They tried to do like a hack Zane where they were cold in the middle of the night. So they put a hair dryer under their bed sheet and turned it on.

And straighteners too. They don't turn off fire strai irons. I mean I feel like a lot of those now have like they auto shut off.

They do. Oh, a strainer definitely auto shuts off.

Number one cause of house fires is unattended cooking.

Oh. Leaving pots and pans on the stove also too.

Like it is scary. If you have like a grease fire. You can't put it out with water.

Oh yeah. People get that because you start panicking and you immediately get wire water. And it goes every.

Every time I cook, I mentally am planning a path outside. Like I'm like, okay, as long as the door is unlocked, I can just grab the pot and run outside and just throw it.

Like the best thing to do for everybody listening. If you do have a pot pan, anything that you're like cooking and it catches fire and you're scared it's going to go up. You got like a big flame. The best thing you could do is throw it in the oven and shut the door.

Like cover it.

Oh. Insulated from oxygen or fire blankets too. That you can.

If you can't get to a blanket and you're cooking on the stove and it's like fire and you're actually scared and don't know what to do. Open the oven, throw it in the oven and just close the door.

Yeah.

It's contained.

It's a scary thing to think it that would work to like throw it in the oven. Like I'm sure most people aren't thinking that just like throw it in the oven and close it. It will like go off because technology go out quickly. But at least but it'll bring it down.

It's not going to catch fire on like your cabinets. And then you could go get like a fire extinguisher or you can go, you know, take extra time to put it out.

Like knowing me, the like if that were to happen, first thing I would do, I would just like take it and run outside.

Yeah.

That's like on the street.

Oh.

It'd be best case scenario if it was like if there was snow outside.

You just snow.

I've always wanted to do the boiling water.

Crazy.

But a lot of People hurt themselves.

I know that wind will catch in. It goes right on you.

But not only are you getting that boiling water, but you just. It's freezing so quick.

It's a great housewarming gift. Like, if your friend's having a housewarming party, they just moved into a new place. Buy a fire extinguisher. Buy, like, a tiny fire extinguisher. People are always like, oh, my gosh, thank you so much. Like, you're thinking of them. Because sometimes people, when they move into a new place, they forget to get a fire extinguisher.

I think there's some irony there.

Mm.

What?

Housewarming?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

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Coachella just posted their lineup. Can everyone does every. Because I saw it already. Does everybody want to make a guess on who the top three performers are?

Sabrina Carpenter, Post Malone, Charlie xcx.

But keep in mind, Coachella is a little delayed. It's not like, who you think it should be.

Yeah, they're always like a year behind.

Like, it should be. Sabrina Carpenter. I don't think it is. I think it's somebody like Post Malone.

Like, I don't think Post Malone, like, had an album. Did he? Or he did put that. But I don't think he was, like, aggressively touring. Or was he?

I like it. Post Malone, Charlie XCX Sabrina Carpenter. That's my three.

I would say Post Malone. And then there's usually like an oldie kind of band in there too. Like a Red Hot Chili Peppers or.

It's good guys.

Or what's a big rock band? That would be good. Maybe like Foo Fighters. I don't know.

Creed.

Creed.

That's good. I was expecting one, but not expecting the other two.

Okay.

Years. So day one is Lady Gaga.

Whoa.

Was not expecting that. I didn't even know she had an album.

That's a. Yeah, that production's gonna be crazy.

Yeah, she has a. Plenty a bunch of discography to do it.

Oh, you know, she. You know, I forget. You don't need a new album. You just like, oh, my God, she's.

Gonna bring out Bruno Mars.

Oh, of course, of course.

Are you going? You're gonna go now? Easy Day number two, Green Day.

Whoa. See, that's green.

Was not expecting that at all.

That's cool.

Like, my mom loves Green Day. Like, Green Day is such a.

She's retired. Tell her to come for Green Day.

Oh, my God.

She would have a blast.

Yeah.

Okay. Green Day third. Post Malone.

Oh, damn. God.

Yeah, Post Malone. I want to name the art, like, the second biggest artist. You're gonna die. I know you are. Missy Elliot. That. That's just gonna go crazy.

I need to find the audition for that. I need to do. I need to get on.

Get in there.

Oh, my gosh. I have to submit a bit. No, I'm on that stage.

Wait, I'm just curious. Do you think. Think seeing it already on here is too late?

No.

Or they haven't even started yet.

No, they got time.

Yeah, they got time.

I'm gonna. I'll make some calls. I don't know anybody. I'll make some calls.

And then Charlie xcx.

Oh, called it. Damn.

Charlie xcx.

I thought she would be, like, done like or like that. She just gave it all this year.

Under Charlie XCX on Saturday. Misfits.

Wow.

Oh, yeah.

This is actually pretty good.

Yeah, it is pretty good.

Other than last year, I think under.

On for Sunday, it's Megan Thee Stallion, and Zed.

Zed.

Okay.

Love you, Zed. Great dj. Love you. Love you to death.

Missy Elliot's gonna be great.

And then right under Missy Elliott is Benson Boone.

No way.

Yeah. I didn't think I would see him at the top there.

Crazy. That's amazing.

Did not expect him to see at.

The top, like, for being a solo artist. He's like, oh, yeah. A whole Stage. Yeah, He'll. He'll, like, tumble across the stage.

He'll climb, like, the sides and stuff. Oh, he's so fit. Like, I can't even, like, look at him sometime. I'm like. Like, oh, God, I can't. It's just. He's just, like, perfect. And you're like, you know what?

I'm not gonna lie. There's a lot of. A lot. Like, I think last year I knew less than what I know this year. The only ones that I just said right now are the only ones I really know.

Maybe they listen to feedback and switched.

It up and just make it more.

Like, pleasing to everybody and, like, less. More of the younger folks. I don't know.

Cupid. Oh, Glorilla is gonna perform. She's gonna. She's gonna. It's gonna be a show.

I wonder what if they bring out. Oh, what's her name from, like, Cheaper by the Dozen?

Allison Stoner.

Allison Stoner for Missy Elliott. She's like, Breakdown, probably. Actually, I would bet money on that that she would bring out Allison Stoner for sure.

Who?

Allison Stoner.

Because Missy Elliott brings out in the.

She's the little girl in the music videos of Missy Elliott.

Oh, that would. That's really.

I think she did it. I like the VMAs or something. When Missy Elliot performed, like, a couple years back.

Author.

She's the. The Ziegler to Missy Elliott. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, T. Pain.

Travis Scott.

I don't see Travis Scott anywhere.

It says Travis Scott right now on Rolling Stone.

When that came out. September 20th.

November 20th.

Oh, November. No, this is. I'm reading Coachella's Instagram post.

It's the 20th.

Gosh. This month is flown by Mariah. That's really crazy at the Rolling Stone. Oh, no, it doesn't say it on the Coach.

Down, down, down. Travis Scott.

Oh, it's on the bottom. My bad designs. Okay, so he's not, like, on main stage or any. I think he's at, like, a big afterparty, maybe.

Claro.

Green Day is going to be really sick to watch. He's gonna bring a lot of, like. It's gonna bring a lot of older people to the festival, I think. I think they're really trying to just fill it up with, like, all demographics.

We got Jimmy Eat World up in that and Polo and Pan. I love Polo.

Oh, they have FK Twigs.

What's up?

FK Twigs. She's like an actress. She's been in a bunch of stuff. She can sing.

I just do, like, a lot of people Choreographed her songs, like contemporary. It's like a funky sound, right?

Yeah, yeah. It's like, almost like experimental alternative kind of sound.

All right. Thought this was. Was really fun because it popped up as I was using.

Wait, Bubba 36 mafia.

Wow.

Oh, you have 40% right now with your voice. I heard that crack. She got excited.

Wow.

Wait, 36 mafia is really cool.

36 mafia brings out Charlie xx. 36ft.

I'm excited to, like, really go through this.

When?

September Plug. Dude.

It's crazy how long Green Day has been around for. Like, I remember my dad having the Green Day dookie album when I was a kid and I didn't know who Green Day was. My dad, Green Day.

Gabba Gabba.

Shut up.

Wait, what's. What's Yo Gabba. What's that again?

It's a kid show.

I'm not joking. Yo Gabba Gabba.

What?

Oh, no, that's not what. No, that's not what we think it is, right?

Yeah, it is. It's like having the Wiggles, but Yo Gabba Gabba.

This is a little brilliant.

I'm gonna do a little shrooms and go to Yo Gabba.

No, no, they did that as a joke, right?

No, that. They're probably definitely doing it. That's a good PR move move like to do.

But no, I'm saying it's. They did it to be funny. It's not like they're expecting kids to come watch. Yeah, no, I was just trying to. I'm just trying to, like, figure it out.

People will show up.

Yeah, yeah, that's funny.

But if they're high out of their minds, you're gonna be going crazy.

I don't know, Matteo. Gabba Gabba. That was kind of after my time.

I think we. I think we should go watch it.

Yes.

I think it'd be really funny. But who's gonna be the first one to post? Post. Who's. Someone's gonna post the first Glowrilla.

The G L O energy.

Yeah. Oh, my. I love her.

Every five seconds that comes out of my mouth.

God, it just brings me back to Florida. I love it.

It's got a really good, like, what would it be, like, early 2000s, kind of, like, flow?

Yeah, she, like, brought it back. Yeah, dude.

Jimmy Eat World.

No, it's. No way.

Crap. Right where the. Oh, go up, go up, go up. Right there.

Oh, that's. Jimmy Eat World was a headliner, like, years ago, that main headline. You know what?

I'm suddenly paranoid. It just said my keys just left the apartment. Or just left here.

Huh?

My keys just left.

Check.

But then I'm, like, so worried.

Like, did I leave my car Go check. Check.

Live on the scene.

There's no way somebody's just.

Did you leave your keys in the car?

Hey, somebody stopped that guy.

Damn. That's really cool.

Can you imagine that? My car just got stolen in the middle of the.

In my head, I was like, we just all run out. Like, all the.

Must be in my air tag batteries low or something. But that was just, like, wild. Like, your keys are no longer at this residence.

I. Did I tell you guys about the time where I was getting a PR package sent to someone who's trying to send me a PR package? I think it was. Was. I forget what influencer it was. He had a friend drop something off of my house, and he kept it. Like, he. He. He left the car on the street, got out.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Came to my house, dropped it off, turned around, his car was gone. Someone took his car while he was parked in front of. This was on Willow Crest. That is crazy.

He got out with the package, walked to the front door, and somebody was watching. They probably, like, just were, like, sitting there waiting. He got out. The guy ran up, jumped in the car, and was gone.

Honestly, this was the time when people were. Remember I had so many people trying to rob the house.

Yeah.

That was Willacrest. Yeah. Ev. Matt. Like, I don't know what. What was pinged on that house, but.

Man, did he ever get it back.

I don't know. This. It was. The thing is, he DM'd me. He was Damien. He was like, oh, I've never met him before. I didn't know who he was. He's just DM me center, probably. Yeah, yeah, come. And then he. He DMS me again, going, bro, I'm so sorry. My car just got stolen from your house.

Crazy as wild.

I couldn't believe it. I could.

What a rush for someone just to be like.

But, like, I'd be so scared that there was, like, a track. Like, you'd have to get rid of that car quick.

Yeah. And security cameras and everything.

Yeah.

Like, was it. Was it before you had cameras?

No, no. Oh, wait. I think it was before the cameras were working. I think I got it. I got cameras after my. The first time somebody.

Yeah, first time. And then.

Yeah, guys get cameras on your house. You don't want that one time to happen where you feel like, oh, now it's time.

Most people get it after.

After the first something happens.

I also don't know how people capture the craziest things on their ring camera are captures when we want it to capture something. If there was like a coyote or it doesn't get any of that.

It's like it's motion detection boundary.

So with those. If you do like the battery, it runs out super quick. If you have the sensitivity down and you're constantly getting alerts. So anytime a wind blows and the.

Battery is already, nobody talks about how quickly or how often you have to change the battery.

If you have the sensitivity set high and it's anybody that walks by, anybody.

That only picks it up. Yeah, I don't.

I remember we had to switch that battery every, like a lot, A lot.

A lot of people hardwire their cameras. You have to get hard. Like we have, we have battery ones and then we also have hardwired ones that are always recording.

Yeah.

I think just, I think you should. People, everyone should just get hardwired that you shouldn't have to change those batteries because you go, go away for three weeks. You're screwed. No one's gonna come change your batteries.

Every hard to run like, because you gotta get like.

I know, I know. It definitely costs more money too, but I think it's worth it.

Definitely, definitely, definitely worth it for sure.

I don't have Ring right now, though. I have another brand I don't have.

It's crazy how many brands popped up and started making these ring doorbell type things. They saw this ring was killing it, making billions. And everybody's like, all right, we're making our own doorbell. Going to best buy. There's 50 different brands doing it.

Yeah, you got.

When you, when you're gonna do another brand, you have to have something that's a little like.

But I like the community on Ring. Like everyone has a ring is like part of a whole community. It's like its own little, like next door app. And so people capture stuff. Stuff and share what they caught all the time.

Do you look at that ring Apple, or do you look more at Citizen?

Like it's Instagram Ring.

Definitely more ring.

Yeah.

Always look around.

Citizen's starting to feel like Craigslist.

Do you pay for Citizen?

I do.

No, he does. To listen to the, the recordings.

Yeah.

I like Citizen for like serious things. Like if it's like a, a crazy accident on the highway or if like something like is like, like where you.

Want to know what's going on.

And the neighbor's app is like, my turtle's missing.

Yeah.

My turtles met the video is the turtle Walk.

Is this anybody's parrot?

Yeah.

It's crazy how many turtles go missing. She's not joking.

Turtles on the run.

We get missing turtles all the time.

And parrots.

I get parrots, but turtles.

Missing turtle. And then it'll be like, somebody be like, found turtle. And then it. They'll like, five feet away. It's up there. It's up there.

You get.

They're like, linking it together.

Oh, wow.

Right? You should. I don't have, like, a Ring app, but you should. Or I don't have, like, like an app that, like, people post, but you should take the goat picture and put it on yours and just.

Is this anybody's goat?

What go.

Showed up in my backyard. I love that she gets excited when she gets the first post up for something that happened.

Yeah.

Like, on that, she's like, I'm going. I'm going viral.

You post more on the Ring app than your own Instagram page.

So funny.

Oh, are you joking? Let it out. Let it out, Queen.

She's been having a lot of, like, cough attacks.

Patricia's been coughing a lot.

It's the time of the year. I don't know. I have my dad's, like, immune system.

You really don't get sick?

It's. It's very rare.

Yeah, very.

I used to get sick a lot in Florida. In Florida. I got sick so many times.

I think the only thing you get out here that I've seen you have multiple times is like a. Like a bronchitis type.

Yes. But that's. That's. Yeah, that's due to that. But if I didn't. If I didn't vape, I would, like. God knows how I feel right now.

I used to get raised, like, when I was, like, smoking, like, real cigarettes.

Oh, yeah, Bronchitis.

I would get, like, really bad, and then I'd still be smoking while I have it because I couldn't quit.

It is crazy that, like, you don't, like. We don't scare ourselves when we catch that because bronchitis is never a wake up call. It's not.

I'm like, Google imaging, like, my lungs when I get bronchitis. Like, I'm like, show me what is causing.

Scare me.

I knew it was so bad when I got my wisdom teeth out and I was smoking cigarettes.

Oh, yeah. Dry socket buddy. You did that?

Yes.

It was so dry.

If you get, like, you can't, like, sip through a straw and they were like, definitely don't smoke. Also, you're putting literal smoke into these open wounds.

Yeah.

And I was just sitting there, just. Oh. That's when I knew. I was like, I have a serious problem right now. Like, this is addiction.

You need help. Help.

Crazy.

But I wasn't smoking cigarettes when I got my wisdom teeth removed. But I remember it was like weed. And I was like, oh, I kind of want to go SM weed. But I'm like, actually.

You think the weed is, like, actually curing your. Yeah, it's natural. It's natural.

No, man. Dry socket is no joke. That can cause some serious pain for people.

My dad had it in the military.

Oh, boy. From smoking?

No, it's just like the sutures fell out. Had the military, like, dentist do it.

And I thought they would have, like, really good people out there.

This is also a long time ago, but, yeah, he got dry sockets and he said it was the worst pain he's ever felt.

I have to go to the dentist appointment tomorrow. You do another cavity. But when.

Another cavity, Matt.

It's. It's so.

I lost.

Every day. It sucks. It really sucks. And it's not like what I'm eating. I know it's not what I'm eating.

Your genetics. I don't know. Or you just. My mom has had you make cavities. You're a cavity maker?

Yes.

What do you got, like, weak enamel something?

Yeah, it could have been like, it was stem from, like, as a kid, maybe just like, I rotted my out and then now I take care of it, but I'm just too late of, like, citrus. No.

What's up, guys? Cavity boy here. Back at it again.

I know I have. I have a sweet tooth. Maybe just sugar, like, is just really punctures quick in my.

I know a lot of people that eat, like, lemon or, like, a lot of, like, sour stuff and that will eat the enamel and really make your teeth.

No, I really don't. I don't eat candy or anything like that. So I. But it could again, it could be because you know how I don't feel cavities until they're bad. It could be that too, because most people can feel a tiny little cavity and they can get it fixed really quick.

What kind of toothpaste do you use? Is there. I use a range using a fluoride sensor.

Sensodyne I've used.

But they have fluoride, always fluoride free. That gives you cavities fluoride free?

Yes, fluoride free. Like the fluoride prevents, like, for cavities from happening. You know, when you leave fluoride, it's.

The fluoride that protects protect your teeth.

Like how's your fluorides?

Like the horrible for you?

Yeah. People debate about it like in the water and stuff, but for your teeth, like you need fluoride. Like a fluoride free toothpaste is actually like pretty like not.

I love my baking soda. Do you do baking soda hammer baking soda?

Is it, is it a toothpaste or you use. Or you actually use.

I use the one that comes already in the toothpaste in the tube. Yeah. But actually lately I've been using that high smile stuff. The coffee flavor.

Coffee flavored toothpaste.

I use it first thing in the morning because as soon as I wake up, I drink coffee like literally within five minutes of being up.

Yeah.

It's coffee flavored so you don't get like a nasty taste in your mouth.

Okay.

Right when you drink.

Dude, it's vanilla latte.

It tastes so good.

All right, what's is that one have. Is that one fluoride for.

I think those have fluoride. So I've been, I've been using that one for the past.

Like depending on how you feel in that day. Sometimes you want a little chocolate toothpaste. Sometimes you wanna.

Sometimes I do.

Yeah.

Sometimes bubble gum toothpaste hits.

It does. When I'd go back home, like my little brothers, they would have like the bubble gum toothpaste. Sometimes I just squeeze them like. Let me try this one.

I think we've talked about it before, but like one of the biggest like marketing scams was the. The red, white and like that blue toothpaste.

Yeah.

The aqua had like the protection. It had the cleaning and then the whitening.

We all believed it to that shit. We all believe that there.

It wasn't three different layers. It wasn't like it was just.

But it looked good. It like you wanted that on your toothpaste. You wanted that in your mouth.

It's when I think of toothpaste, I have that image of the three stripes.

I wonder if tide pods are like that too. Where you think, you know, it has this action in this. This handles the grease and grime and this does all this scrubbing when it's really just the same like crazy thing in it.

When you see something separated like that, you truly think it's like gonna be more effective because like it like it like. And it tells like or almost shows you that. Oh, when they mix it together, it loses its potency. Yeah. So it's more potent for whatever you're.

Trying to clean people Want to see the traffic?

Look at that branding, baby. Let us sit in.

Ice coffee or just like, I'm putting brown stuff on my teeth.

They have that. That company has, like, a purple bottle for.

I have that, and I've never used it.

I love it, dude.

Yeah, I'm gonna do that tonight. I have it in my cabinet, and.

I never brush it.

It's like instant.

Yeah.

We all got a sense, see a difference.

It's a really good brand. But the two, like, the ice latte, toothpaste, all the flavors, it's like they're, like, clear almost with a hint of.

Oh, it's not like you're, like.

Looks like you're putting on just, like, tanning lotion.

No, it's not, like, brown, but they have a mint hint to it. It's like, if you were to get.

Like, a mint latte, it's got, like, an undertone.

Okay. It tastes refreshing.

But, dude, try that. Try that.

I have the. I think I have the iced coffee here if you want to try it.

It's so good. I don't know.

Maybe now that you tell me that the purple one does work, I'll use it because I want to wipe my teeth.

Yeah.

Have you done charcoal or, like, the black toothpaste stuff?

Yeah. Why don't more people use it? I feel like people don't, like, use that toothpaste or I don't see more of it.

Expensive.

Oh, it is.

Yeah.

Or sometimes I just don't know if it's an illusion, but if it works, it works. But, like, you know, if you ever, like, paint your face white, your teeth look yellow. Because it's just.

There's something about, like, color theory where, like, yellow and purple together is, like, white.

Yes.

It was like, the yellow or the purple balance is yellow, and it, like, kind of.

It will cancel it out or make it look. What? I don't know, But I bet it. I bet it works.

Speaking of yellow, did you guys hear Spare Airlines has talking about flights? Sorry, Mariah. We were almost there. Almost done.

Yes.

Spare Airlines has officially filed for bankruptcy.

Damn. No, that's alarming, though, because when a budget airline goes under that effect, all the other companies and makes will make flights go higher. The only reason why flights are not super expensive is because they're competing with the budget airline.

Yeah.

So like, American Airlines all. They can keep it a little reasonable if they know that you also have an option for a flight that's like a hundred dollars. They're like, we can't charge them a thousand we got to charge them a couple hundred dollars. When a budget airline goes under, that's a problem for the rest of the market.

And also, so many people fly Spirit.

Yeah.

So that's like a crazy dude.

I. I cannot believe just the difference in price of flights since we've moved out here. Like, I remember, like before we moved out here, we would fly to LA and it'd be. We would. Our flights not even on. Yeah, like, would be like, at most we'd be like, okay, it's 158 round trip. Like, it was always that. And then Christmas time flights would be 300 and we'd be like, Damn.

Yeah. Now 300 bucks used to be like.

They'Re like 300 bucks right now.

But now 300 bucks is like, thank God.

Now that's a good price to find.

When I book flights, I feel like I'm fucking day trading. Like, you get that laptop opening first you look at the Google flights, you like, all right, I know my route. And then you go into like, you know your credit card to like, use your points and see, like, how can we lower this? And you're like, which one of these is actually the most expensive leg? Maybe I'll do all my points for that leg and then book the other.

They make them all say, one seat left.

Yeah.

And when you're booking with a group of friends, forget about it.

Also, you have to use. Use like a private browser because it knows if you're sitting on it for a while, they could they change the price on you?

Yes. I also learned Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, best times to book a flight. Don't do it.

I heard Tuesday.

Tuesday is like the day to do it. Because it gets more expensive as the weekend goes. Even if you're booking a flight that's like still like two or three weeks.

Later, you're looking at Wednesday. I need to book a flight today for to go back home. I'm way too late. I know. Like, it's going to be.

So I have some good flight news. News. Delta is going to be serving In N Out burgers.

Shut up.

Flights.

Wait, that's gonna kind of stink.

Yeah, I think it's first class.

Cool.

But what about not all locations?

Is it Shake Shack? Oh, shake.

Sorry.

Imagine having that shake and then it starts to run.

How we doing?

Wait, this, this looks like it hits.

Give me that brownie square.

Wait, like, I know, like in my head I was like, oh, they will never serve something like that on a flight because it's just.

It probably won't still Taste as good, but.

Oh, you think it's going to be like, a hamburger.

They have a pretzel bun. Hamburger. That's amazing.

This looks so good.

I. I do like Delta because you can order from, like, the menu sitting in economy, and they have, like, the hot Italian sandwich you could buy. They have the burger with the pretzel bun. They have, like, really good, like, hot food that you can.

I just do my best to just eat before I get on that plane.

Yeah.

I really get there earlier just to have my proper meal because I don't.

Know, I've been learning to bring food with me because it. There's just something about, like, airplane food that has been, like, even snacks, too. Like, I just. Just get a snack from that. From. I like the Hudson News.

I want it now. I don't have to, like, are they serving it yet? When are they gonna come by?

Bring your own drinks. Bring your own everything. Everything.

Can you scan this to me?

My brain goes. I feel like I need to take advantage. I'm like, I'm on a flight. I like. You kind of, like, are in the moment, and it makes me, like, want to order food.

It's like being at a ballpark.

Yes.

You wouldn't.

Like, you eat a hot dog for dinner, but, like, eat it before and you'd be full.

But, like, you want to.

You want to indulge in the experience. You know what?

I'm always ordering on a flight, actually, that, like, I know I never order any hot tea. Never drinking tea. But on a flight.

Ginger ale.

I just want a hot tea or ginger ale. Never drink ginger ale. But there's something about it on a flight. Hits on a flight. You know what also hits on a flight? Wine.

Really?

You were having the time of your life drinking wine. Yeah.

You hear when those ladies start yapping, like, a little loud, like they're pouring wine? That's what it is. It's the wine.

But, like, when turbulent, like, when, for me, turbulence hits when I'm on wine. It is.

It's okay.

It's okay, Bubba.

Did we talk about the person that was sitting next to you and I woke you up?

Just say it.

One of our last flights that we took, Mariah was sleeping, and there was a girl to the side of her, and the stewardess was on my side and was giving a drink across and was handing over a white claw. And she was like a model. And then I look, I was like, that was weird. And I thought I misheard it. And then I knew Mariah was sleeping, so I Was like, I should probably ask just because, like, Mariah would have if she was awake. Yeah. So I leaned over, and I was like, I am so sorry, but did they just say your last name as a motto? And she was like, oh, no, my. My boyfriend right here, that's his last name. It was on his card. And I was like, there's no way.

What?

I was like, you're not gonna believe this, but this girl right here, asleep, sleeping, her last name is a motto, and she's gonna freak out. And they were like, no way. So she, like, told the boyfriend across the seat. I was like, bubba, get up, get up, get up.

You need to wake up right now.

There's a motto right next to us. Dude, crazy. Same last name sitting right next.

Wow, that's crazy. Weird.

What are the odds?

Really weird.

Any. Any connection?

I'm sure there would be. If you, like.

If you.

Because he, like, didn't care. He was like, oh, cool.

Oh, this is insane.

We're sitting next to each other on a flight, and you have the same exact last name.

Oh, I would be excited.

Yeah.

If someone had a hijazi, I'm like, I would freak out. I'd be like, we need to figure this out right now. I'm figuring out where on the family tree.

They'd be like, oh, nice. Like, I don't know. King.

No, man, I feel like you would be. You'd be like, huh? Yeah.

No, I'd be a little, like, happy about it, but it would be a very short conversation.

You see a lot of. You meet a lot of kings.

Yeah, a handful. Like, I. Someone's all, yeah, like, when I.

Actually.

When I went to go get my hair cut, like, the other day, the woman was like, I know a Matt King from, like, back home. I was like, oh, cool.

Did he perform in the Olympics?

No, not that Matt King.

But Matt King is.

Matt King is pretty people that have.

The last name King.

Yeah.

Yeah. You guys have Wikipedia pages, though, right?

I don't know.

I think.

I think it's easy.

I think it's easy to get a Wikipedia page. No, no, because somebody just creates.

Yeah, but I. You guys, I think, are on your. Your high school notable alumni. And I used to be on it, and they took me off of it, actually.

You have to replace it.

No, you don't have a Wikipedia page. But you. Because you're on your notable alumni. It's because you're in David's Wikipedia page. On David's Wikipedia page, it says he's known to be part of the vlog squad, which includes people like Zane Hajazi, Todd Smith, Heath Hasar, but you guys, as your notable alumni.

Oh, he's pulled out. I've never seen that.

We're on South Plantation High School Wikipedia.

What?

Yeah, I was pretty jealous about that.

That's. I had no idea.

Each school has, like, what do they call them?

Notable alumni.

Yeah, and it's basically like, people from all, like, the past years from the school that.

I'm genuinely flattered. Hold on.

That's a good title. Podcaster and Internet personality rather than, like, social media influence.

I love it. I love it.

Do you remember Aaron, the first female Florida high school quarterback? She was. She was with us.

Oh, yes, I do.

Oh, my God.

That was huge.

I remember seeing that on the news.

Huge. Everybody was freaking out.

You're like, your varsity team had a female quarterback, Keith.

I didn't know that.

So what year? 2012.

Oh, my God. Yeah, I remember. That's so sick.

Yeah. Okay.

Interesting. All right, well.

All right, guys. We're going to jump into the unwind right now. If you don't have our Patreon, make sure to check it out. Patreon.com Zane and Heath we keep these cameras rolling. You get an extended cut of every single episode. We also post them and you get early access a few days early, all ad free. We do a bonus episode every single month. A live Q and A every single month. It's a great time again, patreon.com zane.

And heat and don't forget, we're going to have two episodes this month for messing up on the last month. So you're going to get to your. You're still going to get your two bonus episodes this month. And of course, we post these episodes every Monday audio form on all the podcast platforms and every Tuesday video form on our YouTube channel, YouTube.com Zane and Heath.

We also have a peanut butter company, theflavoredpbco.com and right now all flavors are buy one, get one free. So make sure to check it out. The flavored pbco.com check out the cookies and cream, the fudgy brownie, the salted caramel crunch period. They're all delicious and they are buy one, get one free.

Tell them again.

Buy one, go. All right, guys, we'll see you next week. We love you so much.

All right, bye, guys.