Transcript of #2414 - Brian Simpson

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.

The Joe Rogan Experience.

Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

Uh, did you watch it? Did you watch the UFC?

No.

Oh, my God. It's a lot of microchips. Fuck—dude goes up one weight class, goes up to 170. He was the 55-pound most dominant champion ever, most titled defensive 55 ever, just dominates at 170. Like, every round. People are saying it's boring, but listen, man, it's boring if you're a casual. The fact that he was able to do it every round—it was a little frustrating because you want a jack to try to adjust, but he couldn't, man. Islam shut his game down right away.

I mean, I imagine being Khabib, you know, just your protege just coming in.

And Khabib's even better than him.

Right.

That's what's so crazy. That's how good those guys are. But Khabib's not better stand-up, though. He is—Islam has really good stand-up. Like, his stand-up—Khabib's stand-up was a means to an end. It was like, his stand-up was to crack you so he'd get ahold of you and fuck you up, just drag you to the ground and smash you. That was Khabib's move. But Islam is fucking KOing people, man. It's different.

Yeah, it's different.

He's different. He's head-kicking Volkanovski. That's a—it's like a different level of stand-up.

Yeah, Khabib said, "You're going to be better than me."

Crazy. Crazy.

Them Dagestani boys are here to stay.

You know what's crazy, dude? Uh, Bilal Muhammad, you know, who was the champ at welterweight, went down to Dagestan to train with those guys, and he was like, "I thought I trained hard." I really did. I thought I trained hard until I trained with those guys.

That's what I'm going to follow. If I ever have a son, I'm just dropping him. As soon as he hits puberty, I'm dropping him off in Dagestan. Say, "Leave him here, forget."

That's the thing they always say. "Take him to Dagestan, 2-3 years, forget."

Yeah, for real.

For real.

Then he comes—he comes back telling you what to do.

How are you going to fuck with that? Because that's real. That's how those dudes are really rolling out there. That's how they're really living. They're—they pray 5 times a day. They're super religious. There's no gambling, there's no drinking, there's no partying. There's just training.

Just training.

Just training and training with a bunch of fucking animals. Eating together, training together, just getting after it every day. And then it's iron sharpens iron, because everyone who comes out of there is a fucking killer.

Yeah.

Crazy.

Yeah, you—you got to be real.

You—normal—most people don't want to live that life.

Yeah. And they don't forgive the disrespect.

No.

You know?

They just fucked Dylan Dannis up this past weekend. Did you see that?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was the fight in the crowd?

Yeah.

Yeah. You got to watch what you—

They don't forget.

You got to watch what you say.

Bro, and they're—you know.

Them Dagestanis, they not talking shit for promotional purposes.

No.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

You got to be real careful.

No.

He's—he's—

Do you think—

In the marrow of the bones.

Do you think that they would ever be—like, do you think Connor could ever apologize to Khabib and, like, bury the hatchet? Or is it too—

He would have to—it would have to be in private, and he would have to really mean it, man. You know? He would have to really mean it, and you'd have to convince Khabib that you really meant it, and that it was all—you know, because he just doesn't play that game, that talking shit to sell a fight game. He doesn't play that game.

No.

Especially when it comes to, like, his wife, his people.

Oh, everything, man. Everything.

I saw a clip of DC saying, like, he did—he had, like, Connor on his show one time, and Khabib was like, "No, what's that about?"

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, like, "That's my enemy."

Right. And you're my friend.

Yeah, yeah. And, and, and, you know, DC was like, "Oh, yeah, I had to—I didn't look at it that way, but I had to check myself," like.

Yeah. Because you're—if you're a journalist, if you're—or if you're doing a podcast, you're going to have some people on there that don't like people that are close to you. But you got to—like, that can only go to a certain level. You know, if someone is your, like, sworn enemy.

Oh, right.

And this other guy's your training partner and your brother, you can't really have that guy on.

Oh, yeah, of course not.

Yeah.

Absolutely not. Like, there's—there's no scenario where Khabib is going to be friendly with Jon Jones, because he knows.

Exactly.

The history. Like, he might be respectful, but he—

Exactly.

He ain't going to catch him kicking it.

Yeah.

No.

Well, I think Jon and DC have pretty much buried the hatchet.

Really?

Yeah. I think they have. I think they communicated. I think they—I think they've had some interaction. You know, it's like—look, when you have two bitter rivals like that, and one guy comes out on top, it's just always going to be that way. Always, forever.

Yeah, because they're different kinds of people. I—I forget that sometimes. Like, the competitive—the people that are, like, ultra-competitive.

Totally different kinds of human beings, man.

It doesn't go away.

Their drive is—it's like, you don't understand it. You don't live it. You know?

Yeah.

And, like, wrestlers—like, elite wrestlers are the only people that train the way, like, Khabib and his crew train. Like, in—in any other combat sport. Like, if you're coming over from kickboxing and, you know, and then you want to fight MMA, and, you know, you think, "Well, I've already trained like an animal already." Like.

Yeah.

There's a difference. There's a difference in the kind of exhaustion that you get from, like, hardcore wrestling training. And that's something that these guys have that—it's like, that's why wrestling is the number one base for MMA. Because anybody who gets really good at wrestling.

Thanks.

You got to be a fucking animal. You got to be a fucking animal.

Yeah. I wrestled in high school the first couple years, and it was like—I was like, "This ain't for me." You know? It was—it was hard. It's hardcore, man. Like.

So hard.

It's—it's because besides the technique and stuff, you have to be able to suffer.

Yeah.

You're training to suffer.

Yep. Yep.

Yeah. You—they—and they break you all the way down, every single practice.

Training to suffer, and then the losing weight. The losing weight and competing on the same day. You know? I—I went to school with this kid. He was 5'6". All his brother's, like, 6'1". 6'1". It's because he wrestled all throughout his childhood and cut weight all through his childhood. He essentially starved himself and stunted his growth.

Yeah, well, my—my friend Jeffrey—um, you know Berner? He used to work at the club. He—or used to perform at the club.

Yeah.

But he—he's a—he was a wrestling guy, you know, did—did real well in California and all that. And now he's like, he doesn't—he doesn't know when he's hungry.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You know? Like, he's—he just has to eat because he's like, "Oh, I haven't eaten," and—but.

Wow.

His whatever connection it is, like.

He broke it.

Yeah, like, he'll forget to eat.

That's crazy.

Yeah. It's like that—that—it could really fuck with you.

So usually it fucks with guys the other way, where they cut weight too long and then they just blow up like balloons when they don't have to fight anymore. They get crazy.

Yeah.

And they just can't stop eating. They develop real eating disorders. It's like—it's really common amongst guys who cut weight.

Well, that's when I quit. I quit. I did—I did a tournament, and, uh, and it was—it was the first tournament my brother was coming to see me. And, uh, and—and I missed weight by a pound or something like that. And so I ended up—I still got to wrestle, but it was, like, the all the in the losers' bracket, or wrestled the, you know, people off on the side. And there was a guy that he had on what I know now is an insulin pump, but I didn't know at the time.

Oh, you told me this.

Yeah. And he just kept fucking me up. And because I didn't—I was scared to hurt him, and he didn't give a fuck about me. And I got my ass whooped, and then—and then. When it was finally all over, I was like, "Ah." And I went to the vending machine, and I—and I fucking opened the Snicker bar, and I was like, "Ah!" And my coach came over. He was like, "What the fuck are you doing?" You know? And I was like, "Uh, the tournament's over." He was like, "You missed weight, and you going to come over here and get you snacks?" And it—and it was—and I was one of them kids where, like, I was just defiant. And I was like, "Fuck you."

Ah.

You know? And that was the last time—that was the last time he saw me. I was like, "Nah." You know? Because.

If that's what this is going to be, I—I can't do it.

No snacks after losing.

Yeah, especially missing weight.

Yeah.

I mean, he had—looking back, he had a point.

How much did you miss it by?

A pound.

Hmm.

I missed it by a pound. Because—because—because, you know, it's like, you can't—it's certain households where, like, you know, my—my—my mother didn't give a fuck about no making weight. You going to eat that food. You know? It wasn't like I didn't have control over my diet.

Right.

Yeah.

So then you would just have to run it off.

Oof.

Yeah, run it off. Do you ever figure out how much calories you actually, like, burn when you do a hard workout? It's not as much as you think.

No.

Like, this dude, I forget what he ate, but he had some crazy meal with, like, fucking pancakes and pizza and all kinds of shit, like, 10,000 calories or something like that. And then he went running to burn off the calories, and he tracked it, like, on an app. He ran for 10 hours. He ran, like, 30 miles.

Like a mile.

Because he was in—yeah, the dude was in really good shape. But when he did this, like, he was tracking, like, where his—his cal—how many calories he had burned so far. And it took him, like, a marathon. Like, 30 hours of running.

To—to burn off 1,000 calories?

30 miles, rather.

Yeah.

30 miles of running. No, it was more than—it was, like, 10,000 calories. Whatever it was. You know, I forget what he ate, but it was, like, pancakes and all kinds of crazy shit. Very calorie-rich. But the purpose was, like, to see what happens if you eat all this stuff. Like, what does it actually take to burn this off? So he measures all the calories, and then he just goes out running.

Yeah, it's kind of—it's kind of disappointing when you realize.

It takes a long time. It takes a long time to burn off 10,000 calories.

Yeah.

Like, that's a lot of working out.

That's why I'm—I know I'm going to stay fat until I die. You know? Because I—I got this—I got this row machine, and it, like, it tries to tell you how many. It is—it is more discouraging than anything. I had to turn that shit off.

Did you lose any weight when you did that carnivore diet for a month?

Oh, yeah.

How much did you lose?

Um, I don't know. Maybe, like, 10 pounds.

Yeah, well, imagine if you did that for, like, 6 months.

Oh, yeah, yeah. The diet.

Do you think you could?

The diet is everything.

Yeah, that's the whole way to lose weight.

Yeah.

You—you don't really lose weight in the gym. I mean, you do. You lose a little weight. Your body gets toned. You get healthier. That's all good. But the real way you lose weight is your diet.

Yeah, yeah. It's just discipline.

That's hard.

You know?

It's hard.

It—it was easier when I was poor. You know?

Of course.

Yeah.

Of course.

It's—it's—because I always—I try to tell people this, but it's like, when you—when you're your own boss, you can't also be a shitty employee.

Right.

You know? Like, I'm the one setting the rules, but I'm also the one enforcing the rules, and I'm like, "You good."

Yeah, that's funny.

"Get it next time."

Yeah, you almost have to create a boss in your brain for, like, certain things that you have to do. Like, a general just tells you what to do.

Yes, sir.

You just—you just fucking go do it.

Yeah.

Got to be a robot.

David Goggins could—could—could definitely sell an app, which is a motivational app.

He could, but.

Just calls you a bitch every morning.

Yeah. I mean, really, all you need to do is just go watch his videos. If you want to get motivated, just go watch those—that guy's videos.

Yeah. What do—do people ever go to, like, just go stay with him and.

Yeah, he's done that before. David Eyler? Is that who—what? No. What was his name? Uh.

Who he stayed with?

The—yeah, the dude that wrote the book.

Yeah.

Fuck. I can't believe I can't remember his name.

Like, he's on some, like, Diamond Dallas Page shit, where, like, he'll just.

Well, he—not—not really. No, this dude was writing a book. Jesse Itzler?

Yes.

That's it. Um, stayed with him, and, you know, David's like, "All right, we're going to train, and, you know, you're going to do whatever the fuck I tell you to do, and we're going to do it." I—I forget how many days he did it for. He wrote—he wrote a book about it, right? Like, Living with a Navy SEAL.

Oh.

I think—I think he did it for, like, 30 days.

You—this—you probably got to pass a physical just to.

Well, yeah, you could die. You could definitely die. You could definitely have a heart attack.

But see, that's the thing. He don't care if he died.

Right.

Yeah.

He's ready to die.

Remember, he had—he had something—something happened. Some kind of heart thing.

Rhabdomyolysis. He had rhabdomyolysis. He's had a bunch of things. He had—he's had heart surgery. Uh, but he had rhabdomyolysis that he got because rhabdo is when you push yourself so hard. Let's put that into Perplexity, our sponsor, and find out exactly what rhabdomyolysis is, because I'm going to fuck this up. Um. What is Perplexity?

We got a—we got an AI sponsor.

No bullshit.

Perplexity. Yeah.

What is it, like a doctor?

No, it's a—it's an AI. It's an AI, um, large language model, and it gives you answers. Um, so process is when muscle tissue damaged by trauma, excessive exercise, prolonged immobility, metabolic or genetic disorders, infections, toxins, or certain medications. So obviously, in David Goggins' case, excessive exercise. So the muscle cell breaks down substances like myoglobin, creat—uh, creatine, kinase, electrolytes, and enzymes leak into the blood. Myoglobin, filtered by the kidneys, can cause urine to turn dark brown or red, and in large amounts, can cause acute kidney failure.

Hmm.

You got a problem.

I think you just gave Hollywood the worst idea.

Nah.

Instead of people coughing into a napkin so you know they're sick, they're going to be tast—taking a piss that's going to turn it into syrup.

Well, it's only if someone works out so hard that your body's breaking down. That's really what it is. Like, you're literally working yourself to death.

Yeah.

But then this.

Exactly what happened.

Then this crazy motherfucker finished the race.

Mm-hmm. He went to the hospital. He went to the hospital, recovered in the hospital, went back to the exact spot where he stopped and completed the race, and then did, like, 100 push-ups at the finish line.

It's like, you just went to the hospital for throwing extra.

You just can't—you know, you just have to accept that's who he is.

Yeah.

That's who he is. He's got no knee cartilage. He still runs. He's just a different—he's a different human. But, um, again, it's like the Dagestan thing. Like, there's levels to discipline and commitment, and those guys have—it's a very high—it's also, like, very high-level training too. It's not just discipline. It's like, they're very technical. Abdul Manab, who is, uh, Khabib's dad, was a phenomenal trainer. Just—just phenomenal.

But where did—where did he learn all of this shit?

Well, it's all, you know, Russian sambo, and they all have, like, a long history of, like, I—I think his dad—let's—let's—let's Google this just to make sure I'm not speaking out of my ass. But, you know, you got to think of, like, sambo, like combat sambo, is—that's where Fedor Amelianenko came from too. So Russian sambo is like MMA, but they wear, like, a judo gi top, and they have shorts on and wrestling shoes, MMA gloves, and fucking headgear.

So—so it's like judo mixed with boxing?

It's like judo mixed with MMA.

Ah.

But they're wearing wrestling shoes. Like, it is—it's really kind of crazy.

But there's no ground and pound?

There's ground and pound. Yeah, it's basically kind of MMA. So Abdul Manab, uh, he was named by the Russian Book of Records as the most successful combat sambo coach in the country. Uh, so he was the head coach of Eagles MMA, coached two UFC champions, his son Khabib Nurmagomedov, as well as Islam Makhachev. Um, but—so he practiced from a young age while serving in the Servi army—Soviet army—began to practice judo and sambo. First big success as a coach came with his brother.

Yeah.

Like, um, how about show Fedor competing in combat sambo? It's kind of crazy when you see him. Because he was competing in combat sambo, I believe, while he was also fighting in MMA. He was still competing.

Wow.

For—for Russia in combat sambo.

And—and there's a difference between combat sambo and some other kind?

Yeah, well, there's sambo, which is, like, um, just the grappling art of sambo. But, like, look at this. They—they're fighting with punches, with the grappling gi on and shoes on. This is crazy, right?

Oh, wow.

Isn't that nuts? They got wrestling shoes on, shin pads.

Oh, no knees.

Yeah. Um, they—they can't throw knees here? Is that what's going on?

I mean, like.

I don't know. I don't know what the rules are.

Because I feel like if they—if they could, he would have thrown them right there.

Pretty crazy, man. So that's Fedor when he was world champion in MMA. Maybe the greatest of all time. He's definitely in the argument of the greatest of all time.

Fedor?

Yeah. It's the argument is him, Kane Velasquez for heavyweight, um, Francis Ngannou, and Jon Jones now, uh, that he's a heavyweight, but he hasn't really—the only heavyweights that he really beat—he beat Stipe when Stipe was kind of.

Right.

At the end of his career.

He beat Gon.

And he beat Gon. But he caught Gon in the gi team real early. Clearly, one of the greatest fighters of all time. But the argument of him being the greatest heavyweight—he's only got two heavyweight fights. Um, then the other guy, um, is Fabrizio Verdun. Fabrizio Verdun, on paper, has one of the best arguments because he tapped everybody. He tapped all the world champions. Fabrizio—and people forget, man, because they only look at a guy when the guy's lost. They—like, MMA fans, once someone loses and they start—they have a few losses in a row, people forget how good they were when they were in their prime.

And—and.

Which is crazy.

What you saying there's a window, right? Was it 9 years?

It's about 9 years. When fighters can beat their best.

But I feel like that heavyweight window.

Shorter.

Gets shortened real fast.

It gets shorter.

What's the mo—what's the most defenses in the heavyweight?

It's Stipe.

It's like—

Stipe has the most.

Two or three, right?

Uh, let's find out.

It's just three.

Stipe Miocic is the—he's the consensus most successful heavyweight of all time. You could say maybe he's the greatest of all time. You know, it's all when you catch him. I mean, the guy got through Francis in that first fight when Francis was just, like, taking people's heads off, like they were attached with sticky glue.

With three. Yeah, three.

Yeah, three.

You would think it would be more than three, right?

No, man.

Because, like—because—because every—all the other weight classes, like, uh, uh, what's light heavyweight? It's, like, five.

Well, he's got four. Hold on. Scroll back up.

Oh, this thing has three in a row.

Yeah, three in a row. But he's got the most title defenses. Scroll back up, please.

So he's got the most title defenses in the division's history, with four.

Oh, right, because he took the belt back from—

Mm-hmm.

From Cormier.

Right, and then defended it against Cormier.

Right.

And then defended it against, uh, Francis, which was the craziest one.

Right, and then lost it to Francis.

No, lost—no, defended it against Francis. Oh, no, no, I fucked this up. Defended it against Francis, then got knocked out by Cormier. Cormier knocked him out after.

Oh, no, you're right.

Francis fight.

No, you're absolutely right.

Then they fought a second time, and Stipe beat him, stopped him. That was the time when he was hooking him to the body.

Body shots, yeah.

Oh, my God. He had that beautiful left hook to the body that he—he just had wired. So he beat Daniel. He beat Daniel again. He beat him by decision in the third fight, and then in the next one, he fought—scroll up. In the next one, he fought Francis again and got KOed. And that was a brutal one. And then Jon Jones hit him with that brutal, beautiful spinning back kick to the body. Um, but it's like he's in the argument too, one of the greatest of all time. My thing about Fabrizio, though, is, like, people forget, like, how hard it is to submit a guy like Fedor Amelianenko, or a guy like Kane Velasquez, and to be the guy that submits all, like, out of the guys who you consider possibly all-time greats, he submitted three of them.

Well, when Velasquez first came on the scene, I thought nobody was going to be able to beat him.

Bro, he was a monster. Because he—he was a heavyweight with cardio like a lightweight. It was nuts.

Yeah.

Like, nothing like that.

Yeah, but everybody—everybody has their day, man.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, there's nobody that's going to beat him. I mean.

Well, what happened with Kane is he didn't adjust to Mexico City. So they had a fight. Kane and Fabrizio fought in Mexico City. And, uh, Mexico City, I think, is, like, 7,000 feet above sea level.

What?

Yeah. Put that in there. Let's see what Perplexity says about that. I'm pretty sure that's the case, though. I think it's about 7,000 feet above sea level, and it's real thin air. Also, it's a lot of pollution. So it's not, like, the best air. Like, it's—it's not much air, and it's polluted. And, um, Fabrizio got there way early, like, months, months in advance. Uh, 7,350 feet, yeah, above sea level. So real, real high altitude already. So your cardio is already going to be taxed if you're a heavyweight.

Yeah, that's crazy.

That's 2,000 feet above Denver.

But why didn't he go? Did he have a good reason?

I think there were some domestic issues.

Oh, man.

So I think someone didn't want him leaving, you know, and he got—he only got a chance to be out there, I think, for two weeks. And that's not enough time.

That's not even close.

Not even close. Uh, Fabrizio was up there, I think, for six months. I think they told him that he was going to be fighting for the title, and I think he went up there for—I might be talking out of school, but it was many months. It was at least four months. And he was up in the mountains above Mexico City. So he's like, "Fuck it. Let's go 9,000 feet. Let's get crazy." And so got accustomed to even higher altitude, and then when he came down, he was in prime shape. And he caught Kane in the gi team and submitted him. It was nuts. It was like seeing him—he's—like I said, he submitted three of the greatest of all time.

Yeah, that's, um.

He said, "For the first two weeks, uh, I was here, it felt as if I'd never trained before at all. I was so tired." So if you got used to doing that, okay, so okay, Kane only went 10 days early. Oh, my God.

So I feel like that's some shit the George St. Pierre would do just for every fight.

Right.

Get him an oxygen deprivation tank or something.

Well, BJ was doing that for a while. BJ Penn was sleeping in a tent. See, it was a plastic tent that he would, uh, seal off and he would sleep inside of it. Like, you put it up around his bed, and there was a thing that you—you that sucked oxygen out of the air there, and it made it like you were sleeping at high elevation. Apparently, that's the move. The move is sleep at high elevation, but train at low elevation. And the reason for that is when you train at low elevation, you have more oxygen, you can get more reps, you can put in more rounds, you can put in more work.

Mm-hmm.

So—and then the recovery is where you really want your body to be adapting. So then once you're done training, go back up. Like, say if you were training in, like, in, like, in the valley, and then you went up to Big Bear, and you were sleeping at Big Bear, which is, like, I think Big Bear's, like, 6,000 feet or something like that.

But doesn't that only work if you're—if the fight is at—is not at elevation? Like, if you're fighting it.

No. No, the idea is sleeping at altitude is all you need. Sleeping at alti—altitude gets your body—it's the whole thing is about getting your body to sort of adapt to this new altitude.

So if you just sleep at altitude, you can fight at altitude.

Exactly.

Oh, okay.

Exactly. You'll have more oxygen. You'll have more. And you'll—you'll be able to work harder. Like, this—so it's like they used to think training and sleeping at altitude is the move, but now they think, actually, it's probably better. And maybe this is debated. Um, I'm not sure if, like, the—the consensus is out. But I think what they're saying now is train at sea level and then sleep at altitude. Which makes sense. It makes sense.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's for people that's already training.

Yeah, definitely.

Yeah.

Definitely.

Me, I've run out of breath just going up to altitude. That's why—that's why Denver, whenever you go to Denver, like, I love doing comedy there, but it's so—it's so dry.

It's dry.

It's so dry. Your buga's getting sharp.

Yep. Yeah, your nose starts to bleed.

Yeah, your skin is all flaky and shit.

Mm-hmm. There's no air. And then, you know, you can get higher than that too. You can go to Aspen. When they used to have the Aspen Comedy Festival, they used to have, uh, oxygen waiting for you backstage.

Where?

Yeah. Case dudes started fainting.

Why'd they stop that?

I don't know. I think, you know, they stopped a bunch of those comedy festivals. They had—where was the original one? Was it Montreal? And then they started doing it in Aspen. And I think they did it in Vegas too for a while, if I remember correctly.

Oh, it was the same people?

But it used to—see, those things used to be effective. It used to be you would, you know, take time off the road, go to Montreal, do your best set, and maybe you'd get a development deal. And if you got a development deal, maybe you'd get a sitcom. That was the whole—that was the carrot that they dangled the end of the stick.

It was, like, career-changing.

Yeah. Like, for some people, it was career-changing. It really was. Um, but that stopped. And then so it was like, why are we going to these festivals? Because I'm not getting anything out of this other than you selling tickets.

Well, I think that—I think that that's happened—that happened—what happened to most of the institutions in comedy, or just show business, period, is the people that used to be the tastemakers, the people that used to tell the business.

Mm-hmm.

Who was next.

Yeah.

I think people get—because this happens all the time. There'll be some good com—there'll be some—somebody will start a comedy show, then all of a sudden somebody will get make it from that show.

Mm-hmm.

And then it becomes the show in the scene.

Mm-hmm.

Or in the city, and then they start wanting to maintain that reputation. So instead of them just fucking with who they believe in, they'll wait to see who has a little momentum.

Yeah.

So they kind of give it up. They wait for the industry to tell them who's popping.

Right.

And yeah, it happened to The Store, it happened to JFL, it happened to all these places. And maybe people are—maybe it's coming back now.

But you also have to realize who are these people.

I agree.

They're just people that got jobs working for whatever media company that is. Whether it's NBC or Netflix or whatever it is, they're just people that got jobs. They might not have any idea, like, how a joke is made, what the process is of developing material, who's got talent, who's derivative. They pro—they might not have any idea. But what they do is they lick their fucking finger and they hold it up, and whichever way the wind's blowing, they pretend they're a genius.

Yeah.

And that's what they do. And oftentimes, they'll dismiss someone who turns out to be the best one of the lot. It's real common, man. And then they always want to stand by those ideas. Like, "Ah, I don't see it." And like, "Okay, the guy's fucking selling out arenas. I think you missed it." And but it happens a lot.

Yeah.

It happens a lot with these folks. Because they're—they're not artists. They're just business people, and they're pretending to be artists. It's weird. Like, some of them give you advice.

But some people do have—like, there's a—there's a—there's a talent for dealing with talent that some people do have.

Adam Igot.

Right.

Adam Igot's a perfect example. Because Adam is an artist whose, like, job is to be a talent coordinator. But he's genuinely an artist. Like, he's—he gets it. He's a—he thinks like a comic. He behaves like a comic. He was a funny co-host of Norm MacDonald's show. You know when Norm had that show?

Yeah.

Adam—Adam was on that show with him.

Yeah.

Like, he gets it.

Yeah.

He understands the business.

He hits you—he hits you with a zinger from time to time.

He's a funny dude.

Yeah, he got a couple in the chamber.

He's a funny dude. But he's also a smart dude. Like, and—and he knows potential. He sees someone, and he can give them genuinely good advice. Like, genuinely, like, "You could take this and develop it this way. Maybe you need to work on this. Maybe you need to," you know.

But you know, more importantly, I think he has—he has the courage of his convictions, where it's like—like, when I—when I first got to Hollywood, you know, I went over—you know, I went everywhere, at least once or twice. And, you know, some people—you know, people were like, "Hey, come back next week," or, you know, "You got to wait till this time," or whatever. Everyone saw me—saw me at least once. Adam saw me, and he was the only person that was like, "Come back next week." Like, "I want to—you get a—you get a spot next week."

Right.

Which means.

Because he gets it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And, like, he started—he started fucking with me immediately.

Mm-hmm.

And it wasn't any hesitation at all. It was like, from the time I met him, I was just getting spots at The Store.

Yeah.

Yeah. And so to—to—to do that, to have that belief in your—in your eye, you know, instead of needing other people's—because—because of how most of show business works is everybody's just—no one wants to be the first one on your dick, but no one wants to be the last one. So even if they see something they think is dope, they'll be like, "Does anybody else think it's dope?"

Right.

"No? Okay, me neither."

Right.

You know? But then as soon as a couple of people think it's dope, then they're like, "I ow—I saw it six months ago." It's like, you know, it's that kind of shit. So.

Yeah, that's where they're pretending they have talent.

Yeah.

That's their talent.

But the problem is you don't have to have the talent-talent to be in a position of that—to be in that position.

No, no, you don't. You can just get a job, and they need someone to do it. And if you sell yourself, and if you worked, you know, in production before, or you did something as an agent or whatever the fuck it is, you're in the business, and people know you.

You just suffer under some tyrant.

Huh. There's a lot of that. Yeah.

Yeah.

There's a lot of that. A lot of suffering under tyrants. And then these guys, they wind up, you know, fucking ruining companies. Because just they don't know what—like, how many terrible specials have you seen that just fit the right demographic? Fit this, like, silly thing? Like, that was another problem that Adam was having at The Store, is that, like, he couldn't just give spots to the people that he thought was funny.

Mm-hmm.

It's—there was pressure to make a certain amount of gay people on the set, a certain amount of women, a certain amount of—they had, like, people telling him he didn't have enough of certain demographics.

But where's the—where's the pressure coming from?

Oh, I don't know. It was coming from, you know, I don't want to talk out of school.

Okay.

But it wasn't just comics. There was, you know, people that were buying into it. And that's nonsense.

My mind immediately went something silly. Like, he just—he just wakes up, there's a dildo on his pillow with a note. Just like.

No, he was.

You've been warned. He was being told.

He was being told by—and it's just like, you know, there's a lot of, like, vicious people in this fucking business. And if you're a guy and your job is working at a club, and that's all you got, and, you know, all of a sudden that job is threatened because people are complaining about you, and they think that you're not doing your best to make the lineup more diverse. Which is, like, it's so silly. Because this is the thing that we always talk about in the green room. Like, look how diverse that club is. There's everybody there. Like, all kinds of different kinds of people.

That's a fact.

That's a fact.

Yeah.

And you can't—like, you can't tie it down. You know, it's all white males. That's bullshit. There's all kinds of people there. There's Arabs and Muslim people, there's people from India, there's people from Asia, there's black people, white people, Australians. There's people from fucking everywhere at that club. And just there's one thing in common only.

Well, I think.

Do you love comedy? Are you trying to get better? Are you funny?

There is something to be said about being aware of your blind spots. But I don't think that the way Hollywood always does diversity wrong.

Mm-hmm.

Because they'll go—instead of going to find—they'll go, "We're missing this slice of the pie."

Right.

And instead of going and finding the funniest people, they'll just pick anyone. You know?

Mm-hmm.

And I don't—I don't know if that always—this is almost never the best way to do it.

It's never the best way.

No.

It's like the same thing for neurosurgeons. If you're like, you know, "I'm really looking for a Danish woman neurosurgeon." Like, "No, no, no. You got—you have a brain tumor." Like, "No, no, no. I want a—really want a Danish woman." Like, "No, no, no. No, no, no. You got to get the best guy. The best guy's a Chinese guy. We found him. He's out of Harvard. This guy." No, no, no. Like, that's crazy. And that's the same thing with everything. It's like it should be a meritocracy. And I think, ultimately, you're going to have examples of all sorts of different kinds of people that rise to the top in a true meritocracy.

I mean, but the—well, the pendulum always swings both back and forth, but it's almost never a meritocracy. You know?

In comedy?

Or just—I'm talking—I'm just talking about America.

I think comedy is one of the only things where it's a genuine meritocracy.

Oh, yeah. Well, when it comes to the crowd.

Yes.

You can't cheat. You can't cheat.

You can't cheat?

No.

It's that it is what it is, unless you're stealing. That's the only thing. If someone's a joke thief.

Or—or unless you're a fucking hack, you know?

Yeah.

You can—you can get—you can.

You can get away with a lot. But you can't get away with a lot with your peers, right? You can't—like, your peers won't like you. They won't want to be around. They won't want to go on the road with you with your whack-ass jokes.

No?

Nah.

Unless you're super famous. People are just—people are just holding their nose and going on the road with you.

There's a few. That's true. There's a few that will do that. But ultimately, though, when it comes to, like, sustaining a career and—and having, you know, years and years of people coming out to see you and multiple specials and stuff like that, you either—it either works or it doesn't work. It's—that's it.

Yeah.

It's real simple. Like, once people find out about you, now you've got your foot in the door, and it's all just about keeping it on the gas. Keep your foot on the gas and keep producing. Keep making stuff. Keep—keep writing. Keep working on sets. And you'll—you know, if you're working for those people, they'll keep showing up for you because you made them laugh.

I hope—I hope that stays true. Because that's—it's the only thing I'm good at. You know? I'm bad at everything except writing. Except my—my comedy. You know?

Well, you're really good at your comedy, though.

Yeah.

Like, some people never get really good at anything.

But they—but I feel like every year you can't—you have to be good at something else.

No.

Editing, sketches, scripts. They want you to act. They want you to.

Nah. You don't. You don't. You don't. Look at David Hill. He does one thing. Does one thing. Stand-up comedy. Everybody loves him. He's amazing.

Yeah, fact.

Does one thing. That's it. I mean, that dude doesn't even go on social media at all. Which is the only reason why he's not selling out enormous arenas. When we had him at the club last weekend, everybody was like, "Dude, he's the best."

Yeah.

He might be—he's one of the best of all time. And he's working clubs.

Yeah. I mean, a lot of people—a lot of people put him at the very top.

He's up there, dude. It's like—it's kind of silly to rank comedians.

Yeah.

Right? And every comic that's alive today owes a debt of gratitude to the people that came before us. We all do. Because it's a re-relatively new art form.

Yeah.

It's not.

I mean, I go—I go by joke. By joke. By joke. I don't really have a favorite comedian.

Mm-hmm.

But I—there's some bits out there where I'm like, "That's fucking." And some of those come from, you know, a few of them come from the same people. But—but it tells one of those people where you just—sometimes you just watch—you're just in awe.

Yeah.

You know?

Beautiful.

I—but I love that. I love what—like, getting to watch a comic that makes you go, "Goddamn, I need to just ball my shit up and fucking throw it away."

Yeah. That's the best feeling. That's—that's where the fire starts burning and gets you going. You need to feel that. That's why comics don't exist in a vacuum. You know, we were talking about this the other day, that we're—we were talking about, like, McCann. So McCann is in this thing where he might have to move. And we're like, "Bro, you got to stay." Like, you're—you're killing it. And what—you're getting funnier. You're, like, funnier all the time. And I think one of the reasons why is what you're around. Comics don't exist in a vacuum. You're not going to go to, like, South Dakota and find the best comic that no one's ever seen.

McCann—McCann brings the heat.

He brings the heat, dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's fucking talented, and he's smart, and he's a great guy, and he's fucking just a curious, interesting thinker.

And he's got—he's got a—he's got a—he's got a zany.

Yeah.

Delivery.

Yeah.

Like, whenever I follow McCann, he always brings me up like he auctioned in slaves. He'll be like.

"Brad!"

"Yepsit!" You know? He says my name like Leonardo DiCaprio and Django.

Ah.

"Brad!"

Ah.

Watch. We're going to get it. We're going to get—we're going to get that on tape somewhere.

Yeah, we'll get that tonight. Well, I'll bring him in tonight.

Oh, yeah? Is he coming—is he coming tonight?

I think so. I think so. I got to text him as soon as we get out of here.

Oh, speaking of the comedy, my—my "Don't Tell" set came out this week. Go check it out. It's already.

Oh, it was out this week?

It was out last week, but it's—it's—it's going. It's taking off.

Nice. Beautiful.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like a—yeah, a couple of the clips—a couple million.

Beautiful.

Yeah. Go check it out. It's on YouTube, "Don't Tell" comedy.

That WOP joke is one of my all-time favorite jokes.

Oh, yeah. That's on my—that's on my YouTube channel.

That's my other—yeah.

Yeah. So yeah, it's a—yeah, we got a lot of stuff online, man. It's like, some people are like, "I just now discovered it, dude." I'm like, "Really?"

That's how it works, man.

Yeah.

There's so much shit out there.

That's the thing, man. A mill—a million people can watch your shit, and nobody saw it.

Isn't that nuts?

Yeah.

That's how many people there are that are online.

Well, there's—there's people that are huge fans of yours that don't even know you do stand-up.

That's crazy.

You know what I mean? How is that possible?

Yeah. Well, there's just too many things to pay attention to. Like, how many times have you heard about an actor? Like, my—my kids will tell me about someone, and I'm like, "Who is that?" And they're like, "Oh my God, that person's huge." I'm like, "Shut up. Really?" And then I go to their Instagram page. They have 30 million Instagram followers. I'm like, "How? Am I that old?"

It happens to me all the time. I've officially reached unk status.

Yeah, I'm unk status, for sure. I'm like grandpa status.

Yeah, for sure.

Grandpa Joe. Grandpa Joe doesn't know anything.

Because I'm not looking—the thing is, I'm not at the point—like, I'm not looking for new stuff.

Mm-hmm.

So if the kids don't tell me.

Yeah, I'm not looking either.

But then that makes me feel old. You know, that—yeah, there'll be—it'll be somebody that's, like, world-famous, and I'm like, "Who the fuck is that?"

I know. Yeah.

I completely missed the—the Baby Shark thing. I just started hearing people talk about it in jokes.

Baby Shark?

Yeah. Apparently, it's like the number one YouTube—it's the most streamed YouTube video, right, Jamie?

I mean, this was—this was a couple years ago, guys.

But it's—it's still number one, though, right?

I—

Well, that's what I'm saying.

Completely missed it.

Baby Shark?

Oh, Baby Shark.

Yeah.

Baby Shark.

Yeah.

You're right.

I had literally—I hadn't heard that song. It had been out for maybe a year and a half, and I hadn't heard anything about it. I just heard a comic making jokes about it. And then because, you know, when something's in the pop culture, everyone will be trying to have their own take on it.

Yeah.

So then I heard another comic say a joke about it. I'm like, "What the fuck is that?" And sure enough, it's like, I completely missed it. How could I—I mean, I don't have kids. That makes sense.

That's what it is. Okay, this is it?

Mm-hmm.

That video? That's a big video? I've never seen that video.

I've never.

The world's most-watched YouTube video hasn't made its creator rich. What?

Huh?

How come? Hold on. "Company Behind Ubiquitous Song is hampered by ad restrictions on children's content, wants to raise funds for expansion." What does that mean? Raise funds. You had one viral video. You ain't a company. 16.4 billion views.

Oh.

And they can't make money?

This is roughly equivalent to Taylor Swift's 10 most popular YouTube videos combined.

Whoa. Yeah, last year the company generated an equivalent of about $67 million in revenue, including earnings from YouTube. But wait a minute.

That's a lot.

That's a lot. So it seems like they are making money. I don't understand. Is it saying, "The quandary underscores how certain restrictions"? Scroll up a little. I think we must have missed something.

No, we didn't miss anything yet.

But why is it—it doesn't make any sense that the company hasn't made any money. It's saying they made money. That—am I missing—am I reading that wrong?

Oh.

Revenue isn't the same as making money, though.

What?

Revenue is just money coming in that could have.

So I'm guessing. Their expenses are so high that.

They could have spent a lot on ads to get it out there. That's what it could be going into saying. I don't know.

No, but I'm guessing.

I guess the 16 billion views probably should make you more than that? Is that what they're trying to say?

So revenue is your.

Oh.

Your own gross?

No, that's how much money they made total, including what they got from YouTube. That's not just from YouTube.

Oh, so they make money from other stuff.

Yeah, they probably.

Oh, okay.

Like, probably licensed it out and stuff like that.

So scroll up so you see the little graph there? It says life—I mean, scroll down. Sorry. So operating profit revenue. So they're making a lot more money. Oh.

Yeah, but that's—that's South Korean won.

Shh.

I don't know. Yeah, I just.

I don't know what it means.

Yeah.

Falling down the wrong hole.

Fucking freak out. No, it just was like, "Bring back the AI."

Yeah. I don't know what that is. Like—like that Baby Shark thing. Like, why would—why would one thing catch like that?

Because it's—because it's something for kids, and people love ignoring their kids. You just play that—put that shit on, and kids are obsessed.

It can't just be that. Because there's so many things that kids can watch. It can't be just that. It's got to be something. There's some—remember that banana song? Banana phone? Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, banana phone.

No.

It was like.

I never heard that before.

It was like in the 2000s. It became, like, really popular. I think it was popular on Opie and Anthony. They kept playing it. It was, like, really catchy. Totally innocent. And then it was, like, everywhere for, like, three or four weeks, and then it went away. And I always wonder, like, what—what the fuck is it where something just catches fire?

I don't know. Remember when Tickle Me Elmo? Because when was the last time we had a viral holiday toy? Like, where it was the toy everyone had to have. Tickle.

The—the—that's not holidays, but those Labubus went pretty viral recently.

Labubus are pretty viral.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, people love the Labubus.

And I don't get it. Why, though? Are they—are they collectors? Is this like where.

Because they know AI is about to take over the world, and they know the aliens are landing, and Jesus Christ is coming back, and they just—they're freaking out. They're just buying stuffed animals. I don't know what the fuck they're doing. They're just following the lead. What do I have to do?

So a Labubu is just a stuffed animal?

I don't know. I hear about them. My—my brain shuts off.

There's a little bit of gambling involved.

In what?

It's a mystery. You don't know what's inside the box that you bought, and then people.

Wait a minute.

Can sell those boxes based off of what could be inside.

Is it a stuffed animal?

Yeah.

A stuffed animal? Then you got to gut your stuffed animal to find out what's inside of it?

No, no, no. The box. Like, it's in a—it's in a box. It's in a package, and then you don't know what's inside that box.

Oh, so you just—you just buy a Labubu without knowing which one you're going to get.

Right, right, right.

Mm-hmm.

And you might get a limited edition one inside.

So it's a real-life loot box. That's a—

A limited edition.

Yeah, it's like Beanie Babies without knowing what you got before, and you might get the Princess Dye one.

Ooh.

That's brilliant.

You could get a limited edition Labubu.

That's brilliant.

How much?

Other than that?

How much is it—how much is the Buy a Mystery Labubu box?

I could be 20 bucks.

Let's guess.

It could be 50 bucks.

Let's take a guess. Let's take a guess. How much do you think it costs to get a Labubu?

Retail.

Retail.

I'm going to say 40 bucks.

40 bucks.

Yeah, I think I'm with you. I was going to say 36.

And after that, how much do you think it is resale? Because that's a.

Oh, 150 bucks.

That's how much it costs to get them, yeah.

I bet it's like—it's like buying one of them, like a hot new car.

So retail is 28. 27.99.

Okay.

Okay. 30 bucks.

And then what does it cost online, if you want to buy one right now?

I need a Labubu. Like a mystery.

A mystery Labubu. What do I get? Are you googling it?

Yeah, yeah. It's going to.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Let's turn off my ringer.

Up to 80 to 120. It's not that bad. Oh, wow. A few human-sized auction pieces. Oh, that's big.

What?

$100,000.

Wait a minute. They have human-sized Labubus?

Yeah, I didn't know that. That's.

Jesus Christ.

What?

That is so ridiculous.

I mean.

What is someone doing with a human-sized Labubu? Who's fucking their Labubu? Because you know someone is. Let me see what their Labubus look like. Is it something like a furry woodfuck? All right, let me try to google this human-sized Labubu. Human-sized.

Oh, you hear the latest that that dude who shot Trump might have been a furry?

Yeah, I saw that. I found some more stuff.

What?

Yeah. I think he was a furry.

That's like an art piece. It's not really quite a Labubu, you know?

Oh. Well, that's not really human-sized either.

Yeah. Human-sized Labubu doll sold for $150,000.

Let me see what it looks like.

But what they mean might have been a furry. I feel like you would know or not know that.

They're finding stuff. Like, let's—let's find out.

I don't know what this is.

Yeah. There it is. There's the big Labubu. Whatever.

This lady invented them?

She invented the Labubu?

How?

Again, how? How does that work? How does that catch on? How does that catch on? Like, Bill the Bear has been in the fucking mall forever.

I mean, I think I know what it is. It's probably some fucking hot smoking-hot K-pop star. Probably they saw her with one on. You know that there's certain women where they follow, and anytime she does any fashion thing.

Uh-huh.

It just spreads like wildfire.

Yeah, there's a thing that does happen whenever a popular person starts, like, wearing a thing.

Yeah, yeah. They—they literally tricked all women into wearing diamonds and then wanting a diamond.

Well, you remember when.

Just looking at actresses to do it.

Judas Priest had everybody dressing up like a gay motorcycle gang member.

What?

Yeah.

That started with Judas Priest?

Yeah. Rob Halford from Judas Priest is gay. Like, openly gay. And now, at least, you know, I don't know if he was back then, but he dressed like a gay biker. Like, and that became, like, metal.

Oh, wow.

Because Judas Priest was so good, they wanted to dress like this gay guy who'd dress like a gay guy who'd go to, like, a gay biker club.

Yeah. That's why it's like hot women around the world. Because dudes will do—dudes will do anything that they think.

Will get laid.

That they think will, yeah, will get them laid.

Mm-hmm.

And women will do anything that a pretty woman does.

That's true.

Right.

Anything to make yourself look prettier, too.

Yeah. And so it's like—because all of the dudes now talking all that gay shit, they was dressing like that in the '70s and the '80s. Like, earrings, and.

Oh, yeah.

Makeup, and purses, and all of that.

Mm-hmm. Bell bottoms, big collars.

Yeah, because they thought it was going to get them laid.

Flouncy shirts.

You could dress like prince. You could dress like.

Yeah.

Little Richard, and people.

That's right.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Anything that works. Platform shoes. Anything that works.

Anything.

Okay. Thomas Crooks used they/them pronouns, had obsession with political violence, and muscle mommies. Uh-oh, that's what I like.

Yeah, what's wrong?

Oh.

I like a woman that could move a couch.

I do. The lone sniper who grazed Trump in the ear, killed a beloved firefighter, and critically wounded two other Trump supporters, apparently had a muscle mommy fetish, and repeatedly searched for videos about female bodybuilders and muscular women. But what was the furry stuff, though? I was reading some furry stuff. Crooks had two accounts on two possible accounts on DeviantArt. A site that hosts fan art has become notorious for its community of furries. People have identified as anthropomorphized animal characters and/or are sexually attracted to them.

No.

Ha. We were flying into Pittsburgh for a UFC. One of DeviantArt accounts linked to Crooks shared just one post, reposting of a towering, muscular female bodybuilder and a slight man in his underwear.

Yeah, I'm on.

Yeah. That's like R Crumb type stuff. Hilarious.

Yeah, I don't kink—I don't kink shame.

Really?

Whatever makes me.

I don't kink shame either.

No.

Have fun. Me and Duncan wore furry outfits once, and we.

For the pod?

Yeah. And we had to take the hats off after, like, five minutes. Like, respect to furries. He could walk around all day with this fucking thing on. It was heavy. It was hard to breathe. It was hot. We took it off. Oh, yeah, that's what he likes. Yeah, baby.

But who doesn't like that?

Mmm. I don't know. Some little dudes. Some little dudes don't want to be dominated. They want some man—some woman to use them like a dildo. When I was—so I was flying into Pittsburgh. We were flying in for a UFC, and we got a rental, and we're driving to the hotel. And as we're driving to the hotel, I'm like, "Why are all these mascots on the street? What the fuck is going on?" It was real weird. Like, we didn't understand what was going on. This is a while ago.

Mmm.

Like, at least 10 years ago. And we're driving, and I'm like, "What the fuck is this? Like, what's going on?" We get to the hotel, and I'm like—and I go to the guy behind the counter, and I go, "Man, what the fuck is going on?" He goes, "It's a furry convention." Like, I didn't even—I kind of vaguely knew what a furry was, but I never really dove into it, you know? So I go, "What are you talking about?" And he goes, "It's a convention of all these people that get off on dressing like animals." I go, "Get off?" He goes, "Dude, they're asking us to serve them food in bowls on the ground, okay?

Well, furries are their own.

They're their own. That's what I didn't understand.

And some of them is not sexual.

But these guys, it was. When I was talking to the guy that worked behind the counter, I was like, "What is going on?" He goes, "Dude," he goes, "apparently, what these guys like to do is they have, like, a hatch on the back of their furry outfit, and they like to bang each other without even knowing who they're banging. All they do, they pretend they're banging a giant squirrel, and they're into it. And it's apparently, like, part of the fun is that you don't have to think about your body. Maybe you're ashamed of your body. Maybe you don't like your body. Maybe you're just like, 'I'd rather someone just fuck me and think I'm a raccoon.'

See, I pray to God I don't find out that that's my kink, because it's just too much work.

It's a lot of work. The head is heavy, you know? Heavy is the head that carries the throw.

Yeah, that's it. Any kink that requires maintenance.

It's a lot of washing. You got to wash that furry outfit. And if someone jizzes on it and doesn't tell you, then you got to wash it.

Yeah, but then it might be a subsection of the community where they like it not washed. They want the dirty furries. They over there.

Like an animal, like in the woods. They don't wash themselves.

Yeah.

Come on. Let's go. We're furries? Are we furries, or are we men?

I once had a—I used to work at this pub in San Diego. And one time we had—it was like a—it was like—I don't know if they're a subsect of the furry world, but it's like they're like My Little Pony people.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And.

Yeah. What do they call them? There's a name for that.

Bronies.

Bronies.

Bronies. Yeah, there's like a whole documentary or something.

And they were all very nice and respectful, and you could see, you know, there were a handful of women involved, and you could see everybody trying to angle for the—but they took—they just—they filled up our pub.

And these are all the My Little Pony people.

Yeah.

Whoever the documentary that was, like 10 years, 12 years.

And they hardcore, like, they don't tolerate any teasing whatsoever. Like, if you try to come at them about it, it's going to be a problem. You know?

You got to be able to take some teasing.

Yeah.

If you want me to take you seriously.

I'm telling you, bro, they're going to throw hoofs immediately.

Oh.

They're throwing hoofs.

People will find a thing that they're really into. No matter what it is.

Yeah.

They will find a fucking thing that they're really into.

I mean, but that's the reason—that's why I don't kink shame, because I'm like, "Hey, man, if you just be lucky that all the things that make you come are things you consider normal." You know what I mean?

Right.

Because I feel better. Like, imagine if you found out.

Right, that that was your thing.

Yeah, you could only get off if you was dressed as a wolf. You know?

I think it's a psychological thing where they don't like who they really are. I mean, that's—if I had to guess what the furry thing is, I don't think there's any well—I mean, I don't know. Maybe there's some well-balanced furries out there that just have a weird thing. But I think most of them just don't like who they are, and so they just want to hide in this thing that's all smiley and, "Hi, kids. You know, you look like a fucking some sort of a giant animal."

See, I have a theory. I think whatever—I think the first time you encounter something sexual, whatever's happening gets, like, burned into your shit.

Mmm. That's called imprinting.

Yeah. Like, I got a homie that's like into, like, you know, the BDSM world and stuff like that, and he has no idea. And I was like, "Well, how did you know that?" He was like, "Oh, I have no idea." And then, you know, years later, without completely unrelated, he's telling me one time about him looking for Christmas presents and going in the back of his parents' closet and finding a whole chest of, you know, whips and chains and shit like that when he was like six or seven years old.

Whoa.

And he didn't make the connection. We were like, "Oh, yeah, well, that's why you're."

Yeah, duh.

Yeah.

Parents are into whips and chains and shit.

And I don't know if that had to happen, because I think your kinks are genetic.

Really?

Yeah.

Why do you think that?

I think I've read that, right?

Well, I think some information is probably passed down from parents to kids, and I would imagine kinks could be in there. Because, like, artistic talent is passed down. Obviously, athletic talent is often passed down. It would make sense—I bet a lot of—I bet they don't know exactly what you're giving to your kids.

Well, let's find out, because if it's true, I mean, that's going to make you look at your mama real different.

Right. You don't want to know that. That's horrible.

Yeah, but.

Like, I pity the poor people that have accidentally walked in and their parents fucking.

What? You never did that?

No.

No.

The horror.

No, actually, that's not true. I never walked in, but I definitely knew that that's what was happening.

I can block that out.

Right.

You can't block out the visual.

Because you've definitely touched the doorknob and been like, "You in my lap."

Your dad with his feet up in your hair, your mom eating his ass?

No, no, no.

Like, no way.

No, I don't have no visuals.

Your dad stroking it while your mom's eating his ass? Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no?

Oh, God.

Yeah, see? There you go. I can't live anymore like that. I can't go through this room. I'm going to have to get electro-shock therapy.

Yeah. But imagine if you walk in and, you know, what—I mean, what would have to happen for you to be a furry? What would you have to see?

I don't think it's that.

No?

I think it's—I think there's probably some social disorder involved in some of those folks, too. There's, like, furry lights, which my kids go to school with.

There's some kids that wear, like, they wear, like, ears.

Just ears?

And, like, maybe a tail. And every now and then, you see one of those.

Yeah, yeah.

This brony thing might have started as a 4chan troll that spiraled too far.

Probably was.

And got out of control.

4chan rules.

Like a few other things have done.

They're the best.

I can't tell.

Do you see what they did with the free-flow, free-bleeding project?

What is that? Hold on, wait a minute.

They tricked women into thinking that it's, like, a sign of feminism to just bleed and not have a tampon or a maxi pad.

Oh, like old school.

Just let it go. Free-bleeding. And so they did it as a joke, and then some women adopted it.

Who did?

Because they thought it was, like, you know, radical feminist cool things.

Who?

Crazy ladies.

So now free-bleeding is, like, a trend?

No, it didn't last. It's disgusting.

Oh, okay.

It's probably totally unsanitary. You smell like fish. It's hell. It's hell. What is it? You have pussy blood running down your fucking pants, and you're showing up at the office? You expect to keep your job here at UnitedHealth? Get out of here.

I don't think anybody was showing up at no offices. Those are definitely chicks with no jobs.

At Starbucks? You showing up at Starbucks? Oh, that's not real.

No way.

That lady would die.

Well, the thing is.

She would literally be dead. That's like if you shot her with a fucking arrow.

The thing is, there's no.

Is this lady free-bleeding?

These were the 4chan posts of people trying to, like, share it, that it was real. I'm not putting this on the screen.

But that could be a lady that's just doing a marathon and forgot a tampon and's like, "Fuck it, I'm going to push through." Because I saw one lady who diarrhea'd herself.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It went all down her leg and everything, and she completed that fucking race.

Well, the thing is, it's hard to tell what's real and what's AI.

That's real. That's real. That's a little pussy blood right there. I can tell. I'm an expert.

But the thing is, look, free-bleeding is one thing, but it's like just getting your pussy blood onto other people's stuff.

They don't care.

Like, if you're doing that shit at home or in the grass.

They're marking their territory. Well, what did people do before they invented tampons? Like, I mean, are you supposed to just wash it out? Like, what are you supposed to do? What does nature want you to do? Like, nature doesn't want you—that's why toxic shock syndrome is a thing. When women have tampons and they leave them up there, and then they can get really sick. And women have died from toxic shock syndrome from tampons.

I don't think people even cared about.

I don't know if this—this might be full satire, but this is someone talking about how it's not made up and it's a real thing. Like, 4chan people tried to claim they started this.

Misogynic users of the online forum 4chan would claim that they jokingly started the movement in 2014 and see how far they could make angry feminists go. Fake memes and Twitter accounts apparently belonged to feminist activists who began posting content about free-bleeding. This backfired spectacularly for the 4chan trolls when they unwittingly created a discourse around the normalization of periods. What? The free-bleeding movement, whether fake or not, quickly became very real and got women talking about their monthly cycle.

I mean, it's what I thought it could be.

I mean.

Who wrote it? What's it in?

It's a blog of.

I think you'll have a hard time convincing most women.

Yeah, most. But these are crazy people. Like, most people don't want to fuck wearing a squirrel outfit, but crazy people do. Some people do. I'm not saying furries are crazy. What is the blog? And do they have other things that seem like satire? Because that seems like satire.

I'm checking. I'm trying to check.

It's hard to tell at the edges. When you get to the edges of radical feminism and radical leftism and radical right-wing, you know, patriot front type shit, it's hard to tell what's satire when you get to the edges, when you get to the most extreme examples of any movement.

Well, also, everything's AI now, and people just laugh. People just say bullshit.

Also, all those, whether it's the right-wing movements, like Proud Boys, or whether it's Antifa, they get infiltrated. Those guys get infiltrated by government officials. 100 fucking percent. I guarantee you there's some FBI agents in Antifa, and I guarantee you there's some FBI agents that are in the Proud Boys.

Mmm.

I think the head of the Proud Boys was already outed as an FBI informant. Isn't that true? I think that—find that out. Google that.

Really?

Yes.

That's not shocking at all.

I think.

Every single movement gets infiltrated.

I think he still went to jail, too. I think he still went to jail for January 6th.

Yeah, I mean, they still locked up.

Let's see. Let's see. What does it say? Head of the Proud Boys revealed to have been an FBI informant in Rico Tario. Tario served as the national chairman of the Proud Boys from 2018 to 2021 and was a central figure in the group's activities, including its role in the January 6, 2021, Capitol riot. However, it was later disclosed that Tario worked as an informant for federal and local law enforcement agencies between 2012 and 2014, prior to his leadership in the Proud Boys.

Oh, beforehand?

That's even crazier. That's even crazier. Like, what, they telling us the truth? Like, that he's not doing it anymore? It's like, fucking who knows, man. It's layers upon layers. It's those Russian nesting dolls. And you open it, and there's another one in there, and you open it, and there's another one in there.

Corruption's at all time. Bro, the Epstein files.

I heard there's no files. I heard it's a hoax. And then all of a sudden, he's going to release the files. Well, I thought there was no files.

Man.

He wants an investigation now.

Listen.

Like, what is going on?

They voted 427 to 1.

Who is the 1? Who is the 1?

Who is the 1? I didn't see why he said, but he did say 1.

National security.

Let me pull it up.

No fucking way you going to be the 1.

National security.

If you found out all of Congress voted for something and you the only one that didn't, can you change your vote? You can't be the 1, guy.

It shouldn't be—it shouldn't be that it has to be, like, no one can know what the vote is before you do it.

Bro, I would love to hear his reason. How are you the 1?

Well, you know, I was feeling like let's move past it and let's get on with our business and.

Bro, you can't move past it.

These billionaires are good people, okay?

You can't move past it.

They're good, solid people.

Clay Higgins was the 1.

Who?

Clay Higgins.

Where's he out of?

Arkansas.

Louisiana.

Oh, there he goes.

Yeah.

Somebody got to him.

One of the bottom 10 in education or something like that.

Somebody got to him. That's crazy, though. 400 and 20 to 1.

I have been a principal no on this bill from the beginning. What was wrong with the bill three months ago? It's too wrong.

It abandons 250 years of criminal justice procedure in America, as written in this bill, reveals and injures thousands of innocent people, witnesses, people who provided alibis, family members, etc. If enacted in its current form, this type of broad reveal of criminal investigative files released to a rabid media will absolutely result in innocent people being hurt, not by my vote. The Oversight Committee is conducting a thorough investigation that has already released well over 60,000 pages of documents from the Epstein case. That effort will continue in a manner that provides all due protections for innocent Americans.

He's in that motherfucker.

Well, that's a point, though, right? Like, there were people that had, like, people that had dinner over Epstein's house. Like, Epstein had dinners and had celebrities go over his house.

Yeah.

Like, Chelsea Handler was one of the people that went over his house. I don't think Chelsea Handler is out there molesting kids.

No, no, I get that.

You know what I mean?

No, I get that, but I think we're past that. We're beyond that point now, because.

Right. You just have to be able to say, "Hey, I went to his house for dinner."

Yeah. I'm not saying because people try to do that to you with, like, pictures. They're like, "If you was in a picture with somebody," and they think, you know, but it's like, it's the difference between being in a picture with somebody and being in 500 pictures with them.

Right.

You know what I mean?

And flying to an island with them.

Yeah. I think the because this is a big problem, I mean, related back to what we were talking about earlier with Hollywood, too, is that I think a lot of I think a lot of these motherfuckers don't respect the public. They don't respect our intelligence. You know, like, I think the average American is smart enough to know the difference between somebody that was just in there or somebody that testified than somebody that was banging children.

See, the thing is, the average American probably can tell the difference, but there are sub-average individuals that all they want to know is you're on the list, and they hear you're on the list, and they might try to kill you. And that is a fact.

Yeah. But here's the thing. The problem is.

And I'm not advocating for not releasing the files.

No.

I'm just saying there's enough dumb, nutty people that will think that you're guilty.

There's been so much obfuscation with this. It would be different if there was no pushback. But there's I think what's at stake is people's belief in the integrity of the process. You know?

That's already cooked.

Oh, well, yeah.

That's already cooked.

But whatever the last little shreds of it that are left, it's like.

Yeah.

No more you getting to sift through and decide because he's you know, it's easy to say that, but the truth is, they want to be able to decide whose names get seen and whose names don't. And people aren't with that. Like, you know?

And they shouldn't be with that.

Or we agree with this guy, and then we let them Kennedy joints out. We've been waiting for them to think about it. They said the same thing about the Kennedy shit. Well, we don't want to hurt and every time they're supposed to release it, they kick it down the road.

They released some new Kennedy documents, but I never heard anything come out of it.

Yeah. It was supposed to be it's supposed to have been released two or three presidents ago.

There's no way those people are alive.

Right. The long what we know is this. We know that I forget who said it, but justice delayed is justice denied. The longer we wait, the more we let these fucking snakes kick the can down the road, the more they get to obfuscate and muddy the waters.

You know what Trump said about the JFK files?

What?

He said, "I saw them, and if you saw what I saw, you wouldn't release them either."

That's what I'm screaming.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

Like, what does that mean? What does that mean?

I don't even I can't even imagine what that means.

What does that mean? What could that mean? What does that mean?

I don't know.

Does that mean a foreign government? Does that mean our government? Does that mean the mafia? Does that mean a coordinated effort with all the above? What does that mean?

I have no idea what it could possibly mean.

That's crazy for something that happened in 1963.

Yeah. And almost everyone involved, almost everyone that could be embarrassed somehow is dead.

62 years ago, man.

So it would have to be something that, like, destroys an institution or something.

Something.

Like this Epstein shit.

Right.

Like.

But just the amount, the sheer amount of people with insane amounts of money that are attached to this.

Because my conservative friends would be like, they think that they think I give a fuck about a Democrat. They'd be like, "Ah, you with a Bill Clinton's in there." Like, I don't give a fuck who's in there. I don't care who's in there.

You don't care.

Put that shit in the street. Yeah.

But they think you do.

Yeah. I don't have a.

Party identity.

I don't have a favorite politician. I don't have there's nobody I don't give these motherfuckers money.

No, that's not.

No, there's no politician that I love enough to because this is what's killing me. There's people out there that are literally like, "Well, how old is 16, really?" You know, like, they're trying to justify like, because they want to come out of this by still showing support, but they don't want to be connected to the crime. So they're trying to they're still trying to justify their support of all of this.

That's crazy.

It's like, there's no politician I love more than I love my country or more than I have my principles of, like yeah, I think if you can't draw the line at kid fucking, then you probably should stop talking in public. Like, you shouldn't have public discourse. You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I think this is a pattern that exists has existed forever in politics. They want you to be compromised when you get into any sort of a position so they can control you. And I think these things like Epstein, and there's probably a bunch of other similar operations that are being run, they provide you with, like, a really good time where maybe you're a high-profile, extremely wealthy individual, and it's hard for you to get hosed. And some guy tells you, "Hey, we've got everything covered.

Bro, did they kick some guy out of the royal family?

Oh, yeah.

Who?

Prince Andrew.

Yeah.

Yeah. They kicked him out of the family, and there hasn't even been, like, a formal trial yet.

No.

It's not like he's been convicted.

But what does that what happens when you're not they just walk you out the castle, and you just.

I don't know.

You just own a street?

I think he's in a house, like, way out in the country. Like, you stay here.

I just in my head, I just picture him, like, crying over some KFC because he's never eaten peasant food.

I don't think he's eaten peasant food.

So he's not a regular person.

I think he's in a manor, like a beautiful home in the country.

Okay, so.

I think he has to stay here.

So being kicked out of the royal family doesn't mean that you just that you lose everything.

Who knows? I mean, what does he have? And where does he get it? Is it just money from the government? Because they do get paid by the government, right?

They do, but I also think they're all they're still dukes of something and lords of something.

Here, it says what he lost. So after being stripped of his royal titles and forced to leave his longtime residence at Royal Lodge Royal Lodge, Prince Andrew, now formerly known as Andrew Montbatten-Windsor, will relocate to accommodation in the Sandringham Sandrigham? How do you say that?

Yeah, I think that.

Sandrigham estate in Norfolk. He is now excluded from royal duties and public life, and his status has been dramatically reduced. His status has been reduced. Loss of titles and status. Eviction from Royal Lodge. Relocation to Sandrigham estate. So he's relocated to an estate in the countryside. Public exclusion. He remains excluded from all royal engagements and official events, except for private family gatherings.

But that sounds sweet.

Yeah. I mean, he's getting away with not having to be, you know, like, not being in the public eye.

Yeah. Well, they were basically, like, you know, all the parts about being a royal that suck? Yeah, you don't have to do those anymore.

Look at this. Financial support. The king will provide for Andrew's basic needs, but his former royal funding and security benefits have been ended. Andrew has sought private business opportunities to support himself, but no public roles are expected.

Wow. Who's going to go into business with you, my guy?

He's going to go he wants to go into business.

He's going to open up a Starbucks?

Getting money from the king all this time. This whole thing is nuts because they get money, and I don't think they have to do anything. Like, I don't think they have, like, real function in government. Do they?

Bruh.

Where's the Sandrigham estate? Oh, that's where he got poor guy.

Holy shit.

That's so sad. That's so sad. They made him stay in that castle. Look how beautiful that place is. That is so nuts that this guy got kicked out of there.

Bro.

He got kicked out of wherever the fuck he was, the royal lodge.

Unless they tell me his punishment is, like, they give you that estate, but they take all the servants?

Bro, look at the Gardner's house. Show me the Gardner that's the Gardner's house. That's where the Gardner lives. That fucking place is beautiful. That is hilarious, dude.

Like, if they give him that place, but they don't give him no servants, and he just got to clean everything he's got to walk a mile to the kitchen.

Yeah, he's got to do his own dishes.

No, but this guy's living the life. So he just gets banished to a mansion, and he don't got to do no public duties.

Yeah. And they probably just bring hoses out to the mansion.

Do you think he gets a puppy?

It's not like he stopped banging hose.

No.

Right?

I mean, I don't know what I don't know what he's in trouble for.

Right. That's the thing. They haven't told us.

But to get kicked out of the royal family is wild.

It must be.

They didn't even kick Meghan Markle out of the family, and she they raised us.

Legal and public impact. What is this? These changes result from longstanding controversies over Andrew's association with Jeffrey Epstein and subsequent legal settlements. Always get settlements. Particularly the civil case brought by Virginia Guffrey, which concluded without any admission of liability by Andrew but resulted in a multi-million-pound settlement. Do you know that there's the amount of money that's been paid out to victims of Jeffrey Epstein is, like, $300 million so far?

From where?

I don't know. Is that true?

Yeah, but there's also like, there's also a bunch of money that just moved after he died that no one really understands yet.

Bro, this is all so sketchy. Bro, I'm telling you, a lot of people, if they really release this shit in earnest, a lot it's going to be it's going to change everything. I hope. I hope it's that powerful.

You think it will be?

Well, all I know is the most powerful person on earth has been doing a lot to keep that shit from coming out. And I don't and I'm not like everybody else. I don't think Trump is in there in a criminal way, but I think a lot of he has a lot of powerful friends that have been putting pressure on him to keep that shit under wraps.

I think that definitely has to be true.

I think it's going to be royal people. It's going to be prime ministers. It's going to be Supreme Court justices. It's going to be all types of.

Former presidents.

Yeah, some CEOs. It's going to be all types of shit in there.

Scientists.

Get it out.

Yeah.

Get it out. Yeah, yeah. The world already we there's nothing to lose for America as a whole.

What a crazy operation they were running. What a crazy thing to have a bunch of people fly them out to an island that somehow or another you own. Like, where did you get the money to buy a fucking island, bro?

It's not as expensive as you think.

A whole island?

Yeah.

We looked at that island. We were trying to buy it. We were actually, I shouldn't say we were trying to buy it. We were thinking about it very briefly, but it was too expensive. It was, like, $55.

What? It's not discounted now?

That's a discount.

That's the discounted price?

Yeah.

Oh, okay. Okay.

I would imagine it's well worth well more than that.

Yeah.

Like, if you buy a beautiful house in, like, Miami, a beautiful house in Miami might be $200 million if it's on the ocean. Those, like, crazy manors in, like, West Palm Beach.

But it's like, but the island's basically haunted. You got to sage the whole motherfucking thing.

It's too late. You got to level it.

Yeah.

You got to remove the dirt and go get dirt from, like, some prestige island.

Yeah, it's wild.

Yeah, you got to remove everything. It would be that's the same reason why we never bought the One World Theater. The same thing.

Oh, that weird cult.

Yeah, the cult thing. I was like, oh, man, there's not enough sage in the world.

Yeah. You had to come over with some holy water, anointed oil.

That's a beautiful property. But I was like, what did they do to those poor people there? You know, and that island is, like.

I wouldn't be shocked if that dude was on there. What was his name? The cult leader of that cult.

Well, he had different names. His first I forget what his real name was. He had the same name as a boxer. I forget his fucking name. What is the cult member's the cult leader's name in Holy Hell? But he changed his name twice. So he had a fake name when he was teaching yoga in West Hollywood when he started the cult, and then when the cult awareness network started going after him because after Waco, they started going after all the cults. They're like, these motherfuckers are arming up.

Texas.

To Texas. So what happened was, he they were after him. And so this dude picks up shop and just moves to Austin, and just to throw people off, has his followers build a theater so he could dance in front of them. They built that. His followers built that theater.

And see, I have.

Beautiful place.

For people to get sucked in and stuff like that. But I feel like we know enough now where it's like, if you're unsure if you're in a cult, like, as soon as the guy wants to fuck your wife, you should be.

Or your dad.

Or right. Or just anyone.

This guy was fucking everybody.

As soon as the leader needed to fuck your family.

Yeah, that's a problem.

That's the red flag right there. If there was no alarm bells before that point, like, when they asked you to give up all your stuff.

Yeah.

Maybe you still had hope.

Mm-hmm.

You know, when they started giving you duties as a servant, maybe you still had hope. But when they need to fuck your family members, I feel like that should be that should set off all the alarms for you. For me.

They wait until you're deep in the cult before they bust that one out. Like, David Koresh, didn't he wait, like, a long time? I think they were already on the compound, and he was like, "God just told me I have to fuck your wife." Like, for real. It was one of that it was that dumb. It was, like, that dumb. Like, God spoke to him and told him that no one was allowed to have sex but him.

When they just got to fuck everybody's wife. Group pressure is very powerful.

Find out if that's true.

Like, none of us are really above it. You know, you got to be careful what groups you're around in because.

Right. Yeah.

That pressure to conform, you know, because I bet that he's not just like, "I got to fuck your wife," but he's surrounded by people going, "Do it. Do it."

You know, all cheering on with towels.

Yeah, but they have that little saying they say, you know.

Right.

That pressure to.

Praise Jesus.

Yep. That pressure to please everyone.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, because there's a certain type of person that gets sucked roped into those things.

Well, I always wonder about that. Like, is there a grand pattern to the universe? Is there a mathematical formulation that we exist in where you have to have a certain amount of gullible people and then a certain amount of devious people that try to trick people and con artists, and then a certain amount of people like you that are like, "What the fuck is going on?" Like, that all of this sort of, like, dances together and balances itself out. And just like nature has predators and it has wounded antelope that get too close to the waterhole, all these things, like, kind of have to exist at the same time in order for progress to be made.

See, the thing is, those guys, they're not influential guys. Their superpower is their ability to know who like, they can sense who's broken in just the right way and come in and be daddy.

Yeah.

You know, because yeah, because can you imagine a motherfucker telling you to be celibate while he banging your wife?

Crazy. Crazy. And you're living in a compound with him, and he's heavily armed.

And you gave him all your worldly possessions.

And he sings, and he's terrible. I have to listen to him sing. You ever listen to him sing?

Or he dancing on a stage that you built?

Listen, play some David Koresh movies. Like, he has like, he would sing songs. They were terrible.

He has music.

Yeah, he was terrible. Yeah, he was a musician. He was a frustrated musician who became an evangelical.

Which one do you want me to?

I don't know. Give me one. Any one. They're all I'm sure they all suck. Let's listen to David Koresh recorded in Waco, Texas, 1989. If I was in that cult, I'd be like, "Jerry, there's no way."

I think I want to let him fuck my wife now.

But how about that name? The name is that, like, the name of a woman he was trying to fuck?

Sheshaniam?

Sheshaniam? I mean, that's a weird name.

What does it say?

Very unusual name. I've never heard that name in my whole life.

It probably was some girl he was trying to snatch.

Probably has to be.

That's biblical.

Oh.

Psalms.

Hebrew lilies mentioned in Psalms 45 and 49, it is meaning it's meaning in these psalms is uncertain. Some believe it's kind of click on that. What it says? A kind of lily? What is that saying? Lily-shaped straight trumpet. What? A six-string trumpet, a word commencing a song or the melody of which these psalms were to be sung. Like, they don't even know.

See, it was probably some girl's name.

Yeah, it was probably a chick.

Yeah.

I saw Lil, and I was like, "Was that Lilith?" Do you know who Lilith is? You ever heard of Lilith?

You mean, like, the demon?

Well, Lilith was, like, apparently before Eve. There's, like this is, like now, again, I don't know who to believe or who not to believe and what I don't even know what scriptures show Lilith and what don't, but.

Everything I know about Lilith is from Diablo lore.

Oh, that's funny.

Yeah.

No, Lilith is, like, a character in ancient religious texts.

Right. Like, she's a daughter of.

Who is well, we're going to find out because I'll butcher it. I'm very hesitant to say what I think it is because I don't really remember.

She's the daughter of Beelzebub, right?

This is did Wes Hoff tell us about this? No. You know who told us about this? Kurt Metzger. Kurt Metzger was ranting and raving about Lilith.

You don't know? You didn't know about Lilith?

There's a few different ones, but this is the one that he was talking about.

Lilith is not a character in the Bible. Her name is only mentioned in one verse in the book of Isaiah.

This one here.

Okay. Origin of the legend. The story of Lilith as Adam's first wife comes from later Jewish folklore, such as the alphabet of Ben Sira, which was not included in the canonical Bible. The legend's core story is, according to its folklore, Lilith was created from the earth at the same time as Adam, making her his equal. When she refused to be subservient to him, she left the Garden of Eden. That sounds like the true story. Some interpretations claim that Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 describe two different creation stories and two different women.

See, that picture of Lilith, that's from Diablo, the video game.

I would play as that character. Can you play as her and fuck people up?

No, no, no. She's the bad guy, but she fucks you up.

That would be a dope character for Quake. If you could be Lilith and run around a map fucking people up.

I think you can be her in Fortnite or something.

Nice.

I think they buy everything.

But that's what she looked like?

In the game?

In the game.

Oh, yeah. And she was hard to beat.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've only beat her once, but I haven't played her in a long time. But yeah, everything I know about her is from that game, and it sounds like it's all wrong.

But isn't it funny that Sheshaniam or whatever the fuck it is, they don't even know what that was? Like, it might have been a trumpet. It might have been a flute. It might have been a person. I don't know. It could have been the song.

It could have been the way you sing. I bet you, like, a Hebrew scholar could probably tell you.

Maybe. It seems like it's up for debate. That's the problem with a lot of really old shit. It's like, they're just guessing. They're really old shit. They're just guessing. Like, what are they trying to say in the book of Ezekiel? What are they trying to say?

Is it crazy?

Oh, my God.

I haven't read a Bible in, like, 20 years.

The Ezekiel stuff's bananas, man.

There you go. I asked Perplexity a little more about Sheshaniam and David Koresh.

Okay. Was a group or entity related to the Branch Davidians cult led by David Koresh a group or entity related to it? The name seems to refer to Koresh's followers who identified themselves as students of the Seven Seals. Oh, so they were his people.

Yo, that.

So he called his people that group.

Alliteration against you every time.

Reflection reflecting their focus on apocalyptic teachings derived from the Bible's book of Revelation. Koresh positioned himself as a messianic figure, calling himself the lamb who would open the Seven Seals, an event that would lead to salvation and the apocalypse. Followers under Koresh's leadership and ideology were sometimes referred to as Koreshians. You know what would be crazy? What really would be crazy is if heaven was real and the murder like, them being murdered sent them to heaven because they were those people were murdered.

That's like-.

Like, do you ever see what the actual footage of the when they stormed Waco?

No.

Oh, bro, it's crazy. They killed those people. They lit them on fire. They drove tanks into the buildings, and flames are shooting out of the tanks. They just cooked those people. Not just Koresh, not just people, like, everybody. Men, women, children. They got.

What were they trying to do in the first place? Just have them disarm?

Well, there was a problem with there's a lot to the story, and it seems like in the beginning, there might have been some governmental overreach. Like, they were trying to get a win, and they were trying to, like who described this to us? Was it Oliver Stone? Who is telling it might have been Daryl Cooper. Daryl Cooper has an amazing series all on the Waco. No, he doesn't. It's the Epstein files. Someone he doesn't have he has one on Guyana.

Well, what the.

I'm sorry. I'm blanking here, but the point is, they wanted a win. So they wanted to take out this cult, and so they exaggerated what they were doing, and they had a stand down. So they stood outside of the gates with, like, fucking armored vehicles and cops and men with guns, and they waited them out. And eventually, it escalated. It escalated to them getting agents on the roof. Agents on the roof got shot at by the people that were in the cult, and so then they started shooting at them, and it became a gunfight, and then they brought in tanks and lit it on fire and killed everybody.

And did that because what year did that happen? Was that, like, '80?

Yeah, it was, like I think it was, like, in either the early '90, like, '90 or '80. What was it?

The siege was in '93.

Oh, was it really?

No.

'93.

See, I don't remember that.

I remember it. I remember it.

Like, I vaguely remember hearing about it, but in my mind, it's like it's not, like, something that happened.

Yeah.

You know?

Mm-hmm.

Because that's the same that was right around wasn't it around the O.J. murder too?

Yep. Yep, because that trial was '94.

Okay, yeah. So I was, like to me, that's a significant cultural event, and I don't remember the Waco thing being like, I remember hearing about it afterwards. I don't remember hearing about it while it was happening.

Oh, I heard about it.

But were people how did the people react to the government just killing people? Even though.

Well, they didn't know.

Even though.

See, it took there was no internet back then. It took a while before people really got hip. There was a few documentaries that released. There was some news footage that got released, and maybe you could get a hold of a VHS tape, some obscure VHS tape that might have had something to do with Waco. But people really didn't know until they started making documentaries about it, until they saw it on the internet. Once you can see it because most people are just going to believe the narrative. What's the narrative? People had guns, which they did. The guy was a piece of shit and a cult leader, which he was. But, like, how did it lead to mass murder?

What happened at Ruby Ridge?

Put that into Perplexity. Ruby Ridge. This one's a crazy story because the Ruby Ridge story is, like, totally avoidable and horrific. Like, they shot a mother while she was holding her baby. Like, crazy. There was, like, a family of, like, preppers. They were, like, out in the woods, and you know, maybe the guy was, like, a little radical, but they completely escalated it.

Was this in Texas too?

Murdered no, I don't remember where that was. Where was that? Idaho. Okay. Incident was an 11-day standoff in August of 1992 in Boundry County, Idaho, involving Randy Weaver, his family, and a friend, Kevin Harris, against US Marshals and FBI agents. It began when US Marshals sought to arrest Randy Weaver for failing to appear in court on federal firearms charges related to the sale of a modified shotgun. The situation escalated after Weaver's dog was shot by a marshal during surveillance, leading to a firefight in which Weaver's 14-year-old son, Samuel, was killed by gunfire.

Damn. But.

They got in a firefight with the feds, and they were acquitted.

Well, Kevin Harris popped it off, and you know.

Look at that statement. Weaver and Harris were charged with several offenses but were acquitted of the most severe charges, except Weaver's conviction for failure to appear in court. That's all they got him for.

So nothing.

Failure to appear in court. They killed his wife. They shot his kid. They killed his kid. They killed his dog, and it was because he failed to appear in court because he sold a modified gun. I don't even know what that means. Was it a sawed-off shotgun, which is illegal? Did he change the trigger? What did he do?

Something.

Did he put a large magazine at the bottom of it? Like, what did he do that was illegal? That's crazy.

But also, why are they allowed to kill your dog?

Exactly.

Because that's what popped it all off, right?

Oh, you want to hear one of the worst ones of that? There was a mayor. I forget where what he was the mayor of. It might have been Washington, DC, but he was a mayor, and he had a postman that was doing some sneaky shit, and the postman was getting weed delivered to his house because they figured, if I get it I'm delivering the mail to the mayor's house, and if I get the weed delivered to the mayor's house, no one's going to check the mayor's packages for weed. So I know which one my friend sent to the mayor's house.

But who's they?

The cops. The SWAT team.

Oh, okay.

They burst down his door. They did the whole thing, man. They came in, guns, armor, fucking zip tied everybody. They thought they were breaking into the house of, like, a drug that's how bad their information is.

It's insane. It sounds like they need some weed.

See if you can find that story because it's a very it's a crazy story, and it was so heartbreaking because the family had to the kids had to see their dog get shot by these cops for fucking no reason. No reason.

They really got to start letting cops smoke weed.

I think so.

It should be a requirement.

Mushrooms.

Yeah, something.

Weed's not strong enough. But something to get but also, it's like therapy, and you know, also, it's like, hey, know for sure. Like, really do an investigation. How about find out who lives there? Oh, my God, it's the mayor.

Well, like, if you shoot a golden retriever, you should probably have to retire.

So here it is. Maryland. So police say Maryland mayor appears to be innocent victims of a scheme by two men to smuggle millions of dollars' worth of marijuana by having it delivered to about a half a dozen unsuspecting recipients. So he was one of the many people that this guy delivered mail to. So he got home from work, saw a package addressed to his wife on the front porch, brought it inside, putting it on a table. Suddenly, police with guns drawn, kicked in the door, stormed in, shooting to death a couple's two dogs and seizing the unopened package. In it were 32 pounds of marijuana, but the drugs evidently didn't belong to the couple.

And but only hold on. So only the dogs died, though? Our dogs were our children.

Yeah. Police apparently killed the dogs, he said, for sport, gunning down one of them as it was running away. Our dogs were our children, said the 37-year-old Calvo.

Two labs. Two lab dogs.

Oh, they were labs. Oh, that's oh, they're black labs. I thought they were golden retrievers. I fucked it up. Our dogs were our children. Again, labs, same thing. Labs aren't biting anybody. They're the sweetest dogs in the world. Said the 37-year-old Calvo, they were our reason we brought this house because it had a big yard for them to run in. Unfucking believable.

Bro.

He was handcuffed in his boxer shorts for about two hours, along with his mother-in-law, and said the officers didn't believe him when we told them he was the mayor. No charges were brought against Calvo, or his wife, who came home in the middle of the raid. Fuck, man.

But they didn't even apologize for killing the dogs.

Oh. Killed labs.

Bro, you found out why I was like, I just.

I'm so sad.

I just came from Tulsa, Oklahoma, like, the you know, like, the Tulsa massacre.

What's the Tulsa massacre?

It was, like, Black Wall Street. It was, like.

When was this?

This was the '20s, I think, or maybe the 1910 like, in the 1910s where, like, after the Trails of Tears with all the civilized tribes basically, they were told that they could have Oklahoma because the land smelled funny, the air smelled funny, whatever, and then they found oil, and that set off a whole bunch of shit because now you got a bunch of natives and free slaves that's about to be rich. So you ever you ever seen that movie, The Flower Moon Movie?

No, I didn't see it.

Oh, but it's kind of like that. Like, they would because you couldn't they couldn't sell their land. Some tribes couldn't sell their land, so you had to marry into the family, and then if you killed everybody, it was yours.

Really?

Yeah. And so but Tulsa was it was Black Wall Street, but it was, like, the Greenwood area of Tulsa, and they and it was basically, like, a prosperous, wealthy black community, and there was a riot one night, and they burned it all down, and.

And so they did this because of oil?

No. Well, that was the backdrop for Oklahoma, but they did this just because of, like, racial jealousy, just, like.

Oh, they did it because they were doing well?

Yeah, they were doing too well, and there was a lot of racial tension in the community because the whole idea behind institutional racism is that poor white people don't mind being taken advantage of because they know that it's black people somewhere that's doing worse than them. But that doesn't work. If you live next to dudes that's dressed better than you, they got cars, they got private business, and it got racial. Like, the National Guard came in, and that was all stuff I learned before I went there, but then I went to the museum there, and I bring this up just because it would blow your mind how recently they like, they just now acknowledged it, like, five years ago, right?

Put that back on the page.

So I was like he was like, have you not been to the museum? I'm like, no. And so we went over there, and it was, like it was a heavy day.

Bro, this is crazy. Look at this statistics here. Look how many blocks, 35 square blocks of the neighborhood.

Yeah.

At the time, one of the wealthiest black communities in the United States, colloquially known as Black Wall Street, more than 800 people were admitted to hospitals. As many as 6,000 black residents of Tulsa were interned, many of them for several days. The Oklahoma Bureau of Vital Statistics officially recorded 36 dead. Whoa.

Yeah. And so they just now started like, the guy told me.

Look at this. Estimates from up to from 36 to up to around 300 dead. 35 blocks.

Yeah. They don't know how many are there because there was a lot of mass graves and stuff that they just started looking for.

Holy shit, man.

But even still to this day, they're not allowed to teach about it in schools. Like, they just now started being allowed to teach about it, but they're not allowed to say who was who.

Even the YouTube video has age restricted. I was going to show it to you, but the account I'm on.

Wow.

I didn't want to do it.

Yeah, this shit was crazy. And so, Joe, if you want to feel real uncomfortable, so I'll go in the museum, and they have these holograms. So you sit in the barber chair, and you can see yourself in the mirror, but there's a hologram of a barber, like, cutting your hair, and there's three of them in a row, and they're, like, having a conversation about what's going on around town. It's heavy, bro.

Wow. Put that back up. So the cause of it, they're saying so it says, the massacre began during Memorial Weekend after a 19-year-old, Dick Roland, a black shoe shiner, was accused of assaulting Sarah Page, a white 21-year-old elevator operator, in nearby Drexel building. He was arrested, and rumors that he was to be lynched spread. The most widely reported and corroborated inciting incident occurred as the group of black men left when an elderly white man approached OB man, a black man, and demanded that he hand over his pistol.

Yeah, shit went down in Greenwood, and the thing is, it's still not back so then they put a highway right through the middle of that neighborhood, and it completely, like, destroyed all of the economy and everything.

Wow.

Yeah, man. And I like, I thought I knew about this shit, but then when I went there, it was real intense for me. But then we ate some good-ass food, though. It was me and Lucas McCurry, and when we got done, we got back to the hotel, he was like, oh, that's the blackest day I've ever had. I was like, might be mine, too.

This is the place?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called the.

Oh, wow.

It's called the Black Wall Street Museum.

And they just recently admitted this?

They admitted it probably in the, like, 2010 or something like that. They acknowledged it. I mean, everyone already knew, but now they're just now getting to the point where they're allowed to, like, teach it, but they still aren't allowed to say what the people looked like. So they can say group A did this and group B did that, but they can't say black, white. They can't say clan, this or you know.

Really?

Yeah. They still won't say certain people's names because these are, like because the clan is heavily involved, too. Like, when you go to the museum, there's, like, a clan ledger of, like, the meeting, you know, like, a roll call.

Whoa.

Yeah. This was a wild ass this wild out there in Oklahoma, and the thing is, they still haven't recovered. That neighborhood is still not recovered.

Geez.

I mean, it never will at this point.

The history of Oklahoma is so crazy.

Oklahoma is nothing well, that's the thing. So we get done the tour. We walk out of the tour guide, and I walk past this guy. I didn't know he was one of the guides because we didn't take a guide. We just walked through the museum ourselves, and he goes, you look familiar. And I was like, oh, you probably know me from comedy, whatever. He was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he is, like, the guide, and then we walked around with him for, like, an hour.

Oh, wow.

And he just he told us he was like, yeah, they don't even say everything. So this is also blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He took us to, like, all these historical spots, and we ate at this place called Sweet Lisa's, which, bro, you could taste you could taste the struggle, the seasoning, everything. The seasoning, just perfection. You know what I mean? You could just tell this recipe came from the ancestor. It was incredible. And it's, like, in this little shop. They just got indoor seating, you know?

Wow.

Yeah, it was, like it was, like it was almost, like I guess because in my mind, it's easy to learn about shit like that and think of it as something that happened a long time ago, but then to be there and realize, like, they still haven't come all the way back, you know?

You see that photo of that lady, that Native American lady at the front door where she's breastfeeding a child? You've seen it.

Oh, at the mothership?

Yeah, here, here in this room.

Oh, no.

I went outside. You never saw it?

No, no.

You know that one you've seen the painting of a Native American face that's on bullets? It's, like, all the way back.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You've seen that?

Yeah, yeah.

That's Quanna Parker. That lady, Cynthia Ann Parker, she was kidnapped by Comanches in Oklahoma. So what they used to do in Oklahoma is this is so dark. They would give people these plots of land knowing they were going to get attacked by the Comanches, like, hey, go you could go live out here, and they basically, like, used them as bait. They're, like they started conflict to try to conquer these territories by just having people go out there and get shot at and get killed and get slaughtered, and then eventually, they would have to send the army out.

So now there's no more Comanches?

I mean, they still exist, but they don't have a reservation, like, you know, like, they don't have territory.

Oh, wow.

They were nomadic, and they ran all I mean, I'm sure is there a Comanche reservation? We should find that out.

Probably not.

But it's they don't get represented because they didn't have art. It was a crazy.

Well, the dude was telling me that, like, so there were four tribes considered the civilized tribes, and those are the people that agreed to, like, stop fighting in the United States to, like, learn English, to, like, be Christian, those kind of things, and they were promised Oklahoma knowing that it was already Comanches. And so they got out there and got the, you know.

Yeah. The United States government did that with everybody, I think.

Bro.

The Comanche Nation is a federally recognized tribe headquartered in Lawton, Oklahoma, but do they have a reservation there? There's no longer a Comanche reservation in Texas. The historical one established in 1854 near Clear Fork of the Brazos River, in present-day Thockemorton County. The Comanche were later forced to relocate to Indian territory, now known as Oklahoma, in 1859 after the reservation was dissolved, and the current Comanche Nation is based in Oklahoma. So it seems like they don't have a reservation.

Bro, it's mad history that I'm so ignorant about.

Got to read this book, Empire of the Summer Moon. Get it on audio. It's incredible.

Empire of the Summer Moon?

Empire of the Summer Moon.

I'm going to get it right now.

It's all about the Comanche in Texas and in Oklahoma, but that's part of the story. So like, what I was getting at is, like, the history of Oklahoma is just seeped in violence.

And it's still not fixed.

It can't be.