Transcript of South Beach Sessions - Edi Patterson

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Bis zum 31. Juli abgeben. This is a bit surreal for me. Thank you for being with us. Edie Patterson is obviously, uh, the writer and one of the stars of The Righteous Gemstones, one of the best comedies done in 10 years. But her whole career has been interesting to watch, and so I'm really interested, uh, in delving into your creative soul. So thank you for being Thanks for having me, seriously. She's got a new movie out, Brian, with William H. Macy and others. You're traveling in a very rarefied air now. And she's got a one-person play, Playgirl. So let's start just there. How do you arrive at a place where you want one light on you and you're going to do— it's going to be all you, nobody else?

Yeah, well, Playgirl is all improvised. And so It, for the most part, comes out of my improv background. That's a huge part of my background. I've been improvising for a long, long time. And I had done some solo stuff. A woman, Deanna Oliver at the Groundlings, had conceived of this really cool thing called One, where she would have her favorite improvisers improvise a one-person show. And she had certain things that, were a part of it. Like, she would have the audience build 3 sets on the stage, and she would ask the audience, "What's the name of this person doing this one-person show?" And you kind of always knew because it was a one-person show, you'll be breaking the fourth wall, you'll be talking to the audience sometimes. And anyway, I'd had a little experience with that, and it was sort of mind-bending and thrilling to improvise by myself, which I had never done before. And the first time I did it, right before I did it, I had done the regular improv show at the Groundlings. And I remember watching two of my friends do a scene, and I was laughing so hard and just feeling the magic of improv and the thing of The thing of seeing in real time, oh, this person's idea isn't what's happening, and this person's idea isn't what's happening.

Their ideas met in the air and squished up, and now this magic is happening. And it hit me like a cold chill, and I thought, what did I agree to do tonight? Why am I— why would I do this by myself? That's not what this is. What is this gonna be? And I quickly realized through doing that show with her, oh, if I let it happen, it can be a lot of people on stage with me.

Right. You're creating all of them, right?

Yes.

Let your creativity run amok.

Totally. And I can count on them and mess with them the way that I would do other improvisers. And they're all me. But I remember that became super, super clear One of the early ones I did with her, I had improvised a dorm room. There were like 6 or 7 kids in a dorm room, and I was one of them. I was all of them, but I was the main character.

I was gonna correct you, yes.

Yes, I was all of them. But I had improvised a door coming onto the stage, and there's 2 practical doors there, but I didn't use either one of those. I improvised a door, And then when I went to leave as the main character, I couldn't remember which way the door went and where the knob was. And in a split second in my head, I thought, "Ask that guy." And so I asked that guy, who's me, and he knew. And I was like, "Oh, okay." So I can just let myself go crazy and have fun.

All right, so this is a weird question, but have you always had an assortment of voices in your head and now this allows you to bring some of them to life?

I've always liked— I've always loved characters and gravitating toward characters and creating characters and staring at people and wanting to do them for my family. And yeah, I don't know if it was ever a collection before this, but it's a very interesting and weird sensation. And then especially with Playgirl, which I started doing, which is just has no format on it. It's just a completely improvised play by myself. And I talk to the audience for a while and I get some notions. I tell them, I get them to talk to me a little. They name the play, they tell me some other stuff, and then I just start. And the thing that's been interesting is it's always, every time I've done it, I've done it probably 9 or 10 times now, every time I've done it, it's the length of a real play. And I think probably that comes from the experiences I've had with Impro Theater, which is a group I'm part of here in LA, and we improvise full-length plays, usually in styles and genres.

With people, usually with people. This helps a lot.

That's always very important.

It gives you a minute to think, to pause.

Impro is always with people, yes.

To gather yourself, like, yes, with real people, not conjured people.

But I think because we improvise plays, that's given me a sense of how long a play is and what it feels like. Those we do in costume with sets and we have an intermission. Like, it's fully, fully a theater experience.

This is the most challenging thing you've ever done, yes?

Playgirl, yes.

And that's why you chose it?

Yes. I wanted it to be more challenging and more Wild West.

Okay, but you're coming off creating a seminal character. We talked a little bit with Ted Danson about this, the idea that you work all your life to have a character that is memorable for everyone, and then you immediately start wondering, "Well, will I ever have another one of those?" Sure.

Sure. You know, maybe— I'm like, is the word hope? I feel like I just— I know they're in me. So I was gonna say, yeah, I hope I can, but I know I can. It'll be figuring out where that happens or what.

You know they're in you though. You know what Judy Gemstone is in you. I've heard you describe it as uncaging the bitch and letting her run free is Judy Gemstone. Totally. You think there are multiple ones of these existing in there.

For sure.

Wow, so you have a great deal more confidence than the neurotic Ted Danson that you know that these characters exist for you and you know you're gonna birth, you now have the chance to birth all of them.

Yeah, I just, I don't know exactly who it's gonna be or what the, what it's gonna be. But yeah, in Playgirl, I never know who's gonna come out, but I know somebody's going to. And usually every play has, I don't know, 10 or 11 people in it. I end up— yeah, I end up liking a lot of them.

But the reason I asked the question is what an interesting challenge for you to choose after whatever is seminal arriving of, I've created a character in a show that everyone loves. You're choosing a path that is an alternate path. You could do anything and you're choosing to invest in improv. It seems like the scariest thing where it's not even a skeleton. You're just up there with your talent and your vulnerability.

Yeah. It is scary until it starts. It's very a weird kind of nerve-wracking. I love performing live, but I do have to sort of fight through some stuff before the show. But if I can get to a place of, with Playgirl and with if I'm filming something, if I can get to a place of full, fuck it. And if I can get to a place of knowing that the only way, path, et cetera, that works for me is me letting it rip, whether that's a very subdued person or a very, I don't even mean like the person has to be wild and screamy, but I have to get to a place where I can let it rip emotionally. And then I know it will be true then. I guess that's what I mean. I know there are a lot of true, true characters inside of me. Yeah.

Well, but if you arrived at real and honest and authentic, fuck it. Because if you've arrived at real and honest, authentic, fuck it, you have conquered Hollywood. Like you've conquered all of the demons that plague the creative people. If you can actually do just fuck it, I'm gonna, my creative talent is enough. And the deeper I dig into the fear reservoir and past all of it, I'm gonna find the, greatest versions of me.

I can get there. It's definitely an ebb and flow. And I'm not saying, oh, I constantly have that feeling, or I constantly know that. Of course there's worry of like, yeah, but what is the next major thing I'm gonna do? Because Gemstones and being Judy was, the best gift of my life up to that point. So yeah, if I focus too hard on like, "What could be as good?" It can feel terrifying. But I know it's all going to work out.

Nice. I usually do not find that in actors. Usually that is not something that— But you've had a lot of success and you've learned a great deal. You've been doing all of this a long time. You've worked. You know what working with good people feels like. And now you're tackling endeavors that are just the ones you want to tackle, right? You get to make your own choices now.

Yeah, well, I mean, I'm still trying to get things, you know. Like, I still am striving to make a movie I want to make, and I'm still, you know, putting myself on tape sometimes for things. And like, It's not that there's no confusion or struggle in the mix. It's I just know that the other place is the place that creatively works for me. So if I can just keep bringing my brain back to that.

The movie you wrote, you wrote one with Danny McBride, right? Yes. And so where is that? Are you certain that if that gets made, you have the confidence like there's no way that this isn't the best representation representation of what it is that we do.

Well, I have no idea if anyone will like it or how it will land on people, but I know that I love it and we love it. And I know I'll put my whole heart and soul into it. And that's all I can do.

It is all you can do about success, but you've I've got a feel at this point that you and Danny have good governors, that if you think something's good, it's good.

Yeah, I think so, but I do also know all of that's subjective. But yeah, I do think if we both think something is good and funny, for me, definitely, I think it's good. I think he's got such a sharp and astute and funny brain. That, yeah, I feel like it'll be great.

You skipped past a couple of things when you said, "I work through some stuff, but I have to work through some stuff sometimes before getting out there." Are you skipping past some stuff that has some details in it that are panicky?

Oh yeah, for sure. And I would say it's because all of the things can come in of, the sort of paradigms that, I don't know, that we're taught to think about of like, oh, if this goes well, then this, or if this doesn't go well, then this, or if this person is out there and they think this, or I really have to get to a place of truly forgetting who's coming That's just all fear you're talking about.

Like, that's all—

All of that fear.

All is just anxiety, fear-based. Totally. Doesn't help at all.

Totally. And sometimes those sirens or alarm bells can be so loud that I've— The one thing I've figured out for making that all go away, whether I'm about to shoot a scene for a movie or a show, or whether I'm about to do Playgirl, is I truly remind myself that we're all going to die, and none of us knows when. Yes.

Great way to do it.

If I only have tonight, which I very well might, because there's no telling, I might as well have a blast. And then, what's the worst that could happen? You could make a list of horrible things that could happen, but oh well, at least I let it rip.

All right, give me an example though. Give me the name that set off the sirens the most, where you most had to say to yourself, "Well, we're all gonna die." The one where you're like, "Am I performing for this person? This is a little scarier than the average person." It could be someone you respect, someone who— I don't even know what gets conjured when I ask you that question.

Yeah, you know, with With this show in particular, it's more like the sirens and the bells are just the more almost esoteric notion of, "Oh, I agreed to do this by myself. I'm gonna get out there and improvise by myself. What the hell?" So it's mostly that's the big beast.

Right.

And then—

What have I chosen? What have I done? I made all of this, now I have to go do it.

Totally.

Damn it.

It's almost like I just have to give everything permission. I have to remember that we're all gonna die and say a prayer and literally just ask and remind God to come through me. I'm hoping to channel every time I do that stuff.

Oh, really? So it's a spiritual—

Improv for me is very spiritual.

And God's there.

Oh yeah. Whatever you call God.

It's the most present you can be, right? It's the most—

For me, for it to be good, It has to be so present. Because if I start to, yeah, if I start to try or if I start to think too much, something's off. It's not, it's false.

You're not just letting it fly. You have to, you're going to your creative epicenter. Trusting that whatever's going to come out of there is going to be funny. Totally. And you have to be relaxed. Totally.

So it's, yeah, limp jump off a cliff and just, just really, really just trusting, oh, the wind, you know what, the wind is strong enough that you're not gonna fall. Boar's Head brings to the deli the taste of deep fried turkey.

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Can you take me back to 2018, the Hyatt House you're living for 6 months during the pilot of The Righteous Gemstones at a, at a place that felt like you were going to birth something special, or?

Yeah, well, the 6— The 6 months proper was when I was writing on the first season of "The Gemstones." And then we, oh, maybe that was after. So, okay, the chunk of 6 months was when I was writing and we lived there doing the pilot for 6 weeks maybe. But the whole place changed for me once other cast members were there and doing that. By the way, that was a mistake to live in a hotel for 6 months while writing.

It became The Shining. It became The Shining.

Yeah, it just becomes so weird. And then like, I don't know, day 4 or whatever, you go, "Huh, that fan in the bathroom never turns off." And, huh, I think I made the alarms of the entire building go off trying to make a Beyond Burger. You just start to feel weird. And there were enough—

4 days in? 4 days into 6 months, you start to feel weird, you would say?

I would say 2 weeks into 6 months. But I was so stoked to be in on the creation of all of it that those feelings and almost psychosis creepings of being in that hotel room for so long, they got smushed down because I was so excited to be creating this show and helping create the show. It was one of those where after, I don't know if you've ever had this, but the times in my life that I've had like, depressed periods or it's almost like I see it after and I go, oh, you know, and I was pretty fucked up then or I was pretty down. That was one of those after where I was so happy with everything that was happening. It was almost like I could look at a sliver of it after and go, ooh, I was not doing great living in that hotel room.

Oh wow, okay, so it was almost like it was dark, but you were buoyed by what it is you were doing and so focused on it that you almost didn't even notice how bad it was.

And then in retrospect, I would go like, oh, I should never do that again. I should never live in a hotel for that long. Yeah, I should, I should live somewhere different that feels more like a person would live there.

You knew while you were doing that, because you'd done Vice Principals, so you knew the people that you're working with, you, you trust they're funny and it's— and you know you have chemistry.

Yeah.

And, and I I imagine that was also fun. Vice Principals was fun to do?

Off the charts. Vice Principals was the first time in my life— I had done some very cool things, but that was the first time in my life that I thought, "Oh, this show at this time with these people is exactly where I'm supposed to be, and this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing." And it morphed, I was supposed to do, I think, 4 episodes in the first season, and then that completely morphed, and I became kind of the Fatal Attraction bad guy, and then was in all of the second season. And it was, yeah, it was magical.

Did you fit in right away writing-wise, or were you intimidated in any way?

I didn't write on that show.

Oh, okay.

So you— Yeah, I just was on that show. And then we, I think through Danny and I improvising together, we kind of discovered like, oh, I think we could probably write well together. And so then me, Danny, and our friend Jeff Fradley, who's also a writer on Gemstones and Vice Principals, we wrote the movie that we were talking about earlier.

And you feel like you belong instantaneously? There's no—

Yeah, we wrote that movie initially so so easily and with such an interesting flow. And it was so fun. And then from the jump with Gemstones, he asked me to come be a writer as well as being Judy. So yeah, it was always just a cool meeting of the minds.

Who is the person most likely to break on the set of Righteous Gemstones and ruin a scene?

Hmm, you know what, no one will ruin a scene. That's pretty— that is pretty, pretty rare. Gosh, I would almost say— maybe this is just because he's who I like to make laugh— I would almost say Danny would be the most likely to laugh, but that may just be something inside me going like That's who I— he's who can wake up the shark in me who's smelling blood in the water. If I sense him going, everything in me wants to really make him— really kill him.

Is there someone more likely to be able to get others to break than the other characters?

Mm-hmm. That's interesting. I mean, for me, Um, for me, sometimes the littlest things that either Danny or Tim Baltz would do would, uh, annihilate me. Like, just a little, a little lip movement or a little— just anything with either of them where I can tell, like, oh, they're, they're totally gone, and I'm fully looking at Jesse or BJ. Every now and then that would, um really take me to another place. I'm pretty good though about— as I say this, it's making me laugh because I'm like, well, I have had some times when I bust up. I'm pretty good about not breaking and staying in it.

Is your character your favorite character on the show, or do you like another character better?

Judy's my favorite.

I mean, it's a pretty great character.

Yeah, she's my favorite. Yeah, she has my whole heart and soul inside of her. I feel so much for her.

You pour all of yourself into your work, but when you say you feel all of that for her, are you saying you're bringing 30 years of the industry into that? Just like where it is that the boys are in charge and the boys don't know anything, but the boys get to have all of the power all the time in comedy.

Yeah, interesting.

That you had to come in through there.

Interesting. Well, She definitely was a cool place to channel unfiltered frustration and rage. I never really thought about, oh, is this at, like, the struggle of what it takes to become an actor or a performer or writer in our industry? But I'm sure it's in the mix. I mean, anything that I've ever felt like isn't fair, I'm sure is in her.

You hadn't considered that before now? That's funny to think that your entire life experience and uncaging whatever it is you've had to hide down there because the boys are still in charge and they shouldn't be and look at them, they're idiots, like that all of that would get unleashed. That seemed obvious.

You know, maybe the thing is it felt It felt maybe bigger than that. It felt maybe less specific than, "Yeah, the times the boys get things." That's in the mix for sure, because we've all seen that in different places in our lives.

Well, we haven't all seen it. Men have the privilege of usually not having to see it.

True. Well, I guess when I say we all, I mean women. More than just the specificity of that, it was awesome to just be able to unleash female rage and frustration in general.

And funny, and make it uproariously funny.

Yeah, and just make it true with no filter on it, and just to express Name an emotion like intense anger, intense horniness, intense insecurity, intense overconfidence, all of it that's in every woman. Yeah, it just felt like awesome permission to just go like, "Rah!" Let it all out.

I couldn't believe as soon as I saw that show, I'm like, how did How did someone not think of doing this before now? And then the writing grace in being able to somehow make a lot of fun of religion without necessarily insulting the people who are religious.

Totally.

Because you're just focused on how weird the family is and greed and wrong. Yeah. And how hard a needle that is to thread. But the moment the show appears as such a cartoon, My first thought was, how has someone not thought to do this before?

Yeah. Well, we talked a lot about that, and most of us who wrote on the show had grown up— not all, but most of us had grown up in the South, and most of us had grown up in a church life in some way, and we definitely wanted to make the show about these specific people, literally the Gemstones, and not ever make fun of belief in general or believers. Like, everyone should believe exactly what they want to. We weren't trying to come for anyone in that way. We were trying to come for these maniacs who steal from people. And at the same time, show that these ones that we're highlighting, they really do believe. It's maybe a fucked up version of it. And they do think they're the chosen ones and that they deserve all these things that they have, but that they also are— they truly think what they think. And for Judy, I have to say, I'm not really sure what anyone else thought all the time of their character. I think she is always doing her best, even when she is really doing really bad things.

When you say, or I've heard you say, that you pour all of yourself into your work, what does that mean? Like, what are the details on pouring all of yourself into something?

Well, I think part of it is what we were talking about earlier of just making sure that I can get to a place of letting it rip and making sure I can get to a place of almost— I've described it like this before, and I don't know if this even is articulate or makes sense, but almost trying to get to a place of when I'm performing to forget that I have a body and just really try to be in the essence of something and not worry about the technicalities of that, of what do I, how am I coming off? And just trust that the true essence is gonna—

Well, the first thing I thought of when you said letting go it rip is that letting it rip is not self-conscious.

Totally. That's the perfect way to say it. If I can get to a place of no self-consciousness, then I know like, oh, now I can find something real.

And it's not only that. You must trust by now that, and I can find something that I know is funny. Like, because I have full confidence in my funny. That's a wisdom that takes elders lifetimes to achieve, but has a lot of failure along the path. Like, so when did you get there? Like, when, when along the path were you able to trust that doubt should be ignored and that at the core of you just not thinking about anything? No, I'm funny.

You know, I think, uh, I think I've started getting there through, uh, Through the Groundlings, for sure. Through being in the main company at Groundlings and doing many, many sketch shows and many, many improv shows.

Just reps, reps, reps on failure, right? Reps. There's success there too, but just reps on keep doing it, keep doing it, keep improving, keep failing.

Especially with improv. I mean, there's going to be nights that aren't as rockus as other nights. And yeah, the thing is to just keep learning and keep knowing you can get better and keep knowing you could listen better and keep knowing you could be more present. And oh, if I am more present and if I'm totally focused on the other person, then that, oh, that gives me everything. That makes us both look great. And really learning and feeling in your body the thing of, And believing high tide raises all boats. And if your focus is outward of, "Oh, let's just enhance this moment. Let's just be in this true moment," it really makes everyone look great.

Well, you do realize that what you're discussing is the place that people seek, you know, when they pray to Mecca and when they become Buddhist or wherever God is, just wherever God is on the things that you care about and the things that you love. You're describing like the most sacred space there is for someone who makes things.

That's what I'm— look, not to get too woo, but that's what I'm trying to get to all the time. Yeah. And there are times when I forget and I go, "Oh, right. This isn't the most important thing." But yeah, I would say through Groundlings and through improv and through doing stuff with improv theater. And then I have to say probably Probably with Vice Principals, I had a little bit of a convergence as far as for TV and film of going, "Oh, okay, great," 'cause I felt like they really saw me. And so having them see me and then knowing like, "Oh, just keep trusting what you do," there was a cool convergence in them. Moment. And like we were saying, you know, sometimes that's gonna all come together in the Venn diagram, sometimes it's not, but it's the only way— yeah, trusting it is the only way to get to a good part of the Venn diagram.

What did the Groundlings teach you? It's a broad question beyond the reps. Mm-hmm.

Well, that's definitely where I first started writing my own sketches and writing characters. And I think seeing shows there and seeing that, "Oh, they lean toward character and specificity." That was a biggie to learn there. It's like, "Oh, the more specific I can be with a character that I'm being, the more funny and true it is." So there are a lot of versions of character that are not specific enough to feel real or to hit. I don't know. I feel like ultimately we're all primates and we, yeah, if somebody walks like a joke and talks like a joke, maybe you'll laugh, but only when it's super specific does it hit that monkey part of us where we're like, "Oh, oh, yes, true." So I think I started learning that there for sure. Like, oh, the more real I can make something and the more just exactly dialed in and possibly weird. People are so weird. I feel like we forget that when we— I feel like movies that are completely dramatic totally forget the fact that even the most serious creep on the earth is having some moments in their life where they're laughing or they're embarrassing themselves or something.

Yeah, something cringe is happening to them or something made them laugh. I can't believe we still make things that attempt to be all one thing or the other.

You've got me thinking of Manson at the Comedy Store. I don't know if it was back then or if it was around, but just in the audience, there had to be something that made even the craziest of All persons laugh. There's no non-laughers, except maybe Vladimir Putin is the only one, right? Like everyone else laughs.

Yeah, but yeah, even him, something's making him laugh. Yeah.

How did The Righteous Gemstones change your life? Has it?

For sure. Wowee. Well, I mean, it was, I would say it deepened and enhanced my creative collaboration with Danny and some of those guys, Brandon, who runs Roughhouse, and like I said, Jeff Fradley, who I wrote with. I feel like it was an expansion on cool things we were thinking into. I got a bestie for life out of it in Cassidy Freeman. I love everyone on it, which is wild. That's wild to be on a show where you're like, "Oh, I really love everyone I work with." I don't think that's the norm. And so, I feel like it really gave me the wherewithal to appreciate that in the moment. And to just savor every delicious, fun moment of that, of like, oh my God, to realize like, this is so lucky. I think, yeah, I think maybe that it gave me so much gratitude.

What an interesting answer to how your life was changed, because you're talking about in all the meaningful ways, not any of the silly ones. Like you're talking about, no, I made a friend for life. I'm working with people I love. I see what it is exactly I want, how it needs to feel when it's the best. And it doesn't get Hollywood corrupted because everyone who works with that group of people say that it's fun to do what you guys are doing every day. It's got its disciplines, but you get to be a child.

Well, totally. And it's totally, it has its disciplines. I mean, we were doing very, very long days and, It was a constant, constant handling things and doing things. And writing it is long and can be confusing. But yeah, none of that ever beat the fact that this is the greatest. I mean, to be able to help create the show and to embody and help create Judy, I mean, it was just like, such a gift.

Do you have your favorite scenes and episodes?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's almost too many. It's too many to name. Anytime we had a church lunch scene, that was always very, very fun. And those were— we always got things as written. The scripts were very written. I've had people ask me before, like, "Did you— were you guys improvising all the time?" And there was improv in the mix, but we always had the scripts as written filmed. And the church lunches were usually a chance where things would kind of open up because we were all there, and we could go on jags that were nowhere in the script. And that was really, really fun.

It sort of reminded me in seeing Talladega Nights what it is that Ferrell and John C. Reilly were doing at the prayer table. I imagine that that scene took— that they enjoyed doing that for about a month.

I would imagine.

I mean, yeah, so you're all at the table and now everyone's not just having fun. Not only does everyone love each other and sort of understand and see each other, but now we're a band that's competing on funny.

Totally.

And so that's just a sandbox for what you do.

Yeah. And then you start to feel the little moments of like, oh, if I love— if I lob this fat pitch to him, then he's gonna hit that over here. And then if I get upset at that, then we're gonna go on this jag. And we would just find crazy things. The whole Tim and I getting married— BJ and Judy getting married at Disney World, that was in the script. But the whole deal about Prince Eric being the one who married us and Fuck Mickey Mouse, and why didn't you guys have a legacy character? All of that was improvised on the day. And it all just feels so true. That was the other major thing is none of us were ever coming from a place of, eh, let me say this. This will really make them laugh. All of us were improvising from character, which is really the only kind of improvising I believe in for TV and film.

Who was the most generous when you talk about lobs and the selflessness and making sure that you're throwing someone else a fat one?

Wow. Man, I feel like everyone was so good at it. I would say maybe just because I see his improv background, 'Cause Tim comes from an improv background like I do. I could really see him lobbing me some pitches sometimes.

Oh, wow. So you could see the generosity as it was coming in. 100%. That's nice. Who could make John Goodman crack? I imagine he's pretty tough, no?

He is pretty tough. He's not a tough person to be around. He's the greatest. I couldn't love that man more. Hmm. I don't know. He just would get tickled. He would get tickled sometimes at weird things that would like tickle me in a script, which gave me no end of joy knowing that John Goodman was maybe laughing at something that either made me laugh or that I wrote. I loved it if I could get him tickled. But he was pretty good about staying in character, even if he was putting in a little bit of improv. He was good about staying in it.

You said a friend for life.

Yeah, for sure. All those guys did. But what happened there?

What is it that you're thinking of there? Like, is there anything in particular that made the connection?

I just think maybe because we were the two girls on the show. I don't know, we just had an instant— literally, we met in LA when we were both at our physical for going off to do the show in some weird office building in West Hollywood. And she walked in and I heard someone say her name. We were the only two people in there and we just sort of talked and said like, "Oh yeah, we're going to do the same thing." And I don't know, it was just one of those immediate things. I've had this with a few friends in my life where you just immediately have that thought of like, "Oh, I know you. Okay, I get this.

We're friends." So, do you do that a lot in adulthood? I've made a few friends in adulthood, but your life tends to form, gets a little smaller. Sure. And so, has that happened a lot for you that the people you're working with, an instantaneous sort of, "Okay, we're friends." We're always gonna be friends because we've got a shortcut. The thing that I'm seeing from where I am is we've got a shortcut on common interests. Like we like this, we're interested in the same spaces on what it is that we do. And that just can fast forward a friendship.

Yeah, I would say, yeah, it has happened for me sometimes, but there are times when, you just go like, oh, okay, this is a long-term one. Um, I would say I had a similar feeling with Danny. I almost immediately felt like, I don't know what the deal is here, if we— if this guy was my brother in a past life or something. And a similar thing with, um, with Cassidy. I was like, oh, okay, well, I can get down. It's a feeling of like, I can get down with this person.

But what you're saying, you're, you're saying that almost literally cosmically connected. When you go—

totally—

when you go past—

to take us continuously back to like almost spiritual. But yeah, it— I would say, um, both of those. It was almost like a weird, like, almost like a weird memory of like, oh yeah, this is my friend.

Well, but when you say woo or spiritual or all this stuff that we're talking about, You're energetically feeling in places that you don't know but trust intuitively, a connection that seems not of this world is what you're describing. Like this is—

For sure.

Like this, that I feel I am meant to be next to this person on this portion of the ride.

Totally.

How many people are like that in your life? How many? Are you working with all of them?

No, some of them are I would say my friend Kendra, who I knew in Texas, is that way. My friend Roberto, who I knew in Texas, is that way. And then a couple have happened through work, like Cassidy and Danny. I would say some of my friends from The Groundlings are that way. Yeah, I've had it happen a few times. And yeah, it's definitely not an all the time thing. And it's different than, wow, I really like this person. Or wow, I really get along great creatively with this person. It's, yeah, it's a whole other little weird thing of, huh, oh, weird. I know you. Yeah, I had the same thing with my friend Emily from the Groundlings. It's weird.

You're not talking about just a connection, we like each other. You are saying this feels like it's It could be from 1,000 years ago. It's from a place I don't understand. Totally.

I had a similar thing with my husband. When we first met, I didn't— and it wasn't like, "Oh yeah, we were definitely married." I just, I couldn't— his was so, with him though, it was so, I don't know, I wanna say front of mind. These other ones are almost like a rumbling in the back of my mind. His was so front of mind. I was like, I know this guy. He's so familiar. Where do I know him from? And I didn't know him from anything.

You and he should be embarrassed by how long it took you to mention him when you mentioned all of those people.

Well, we were talking about friends only.

Oh, we're also talking about, you're speaking about something right now that is going to get you, you know, us mocked at the idea. What is she talking about that she can feel the energy of someone intuitively that she was meant to ride with in this lifetime.

Yeah. I don't know what it is.

Take us back to Texas and your upbringing. None of these things were a dream, right? What is it that you were searching for when you're around the moat, for example?

At Texas State?

Was it Southwest Texas State University?

Then it was Southwest Texas State. Yes. When you say none of these things were a dream, do you mean the things that I'm doing now?

I'm saying what did the biggest dreams look like? Could you have imagined what is presently— did you dream this up?

Yeah, I wanted all of this. And I want— yeah. I wanted all of this and more, and I'm still dreaming up. Stuff. But yeah, I don't know even what made me think there, like, "Oh yeah, you could do this and this and this and this and this," because it wasn't like I was from knowing anyone who was even an actor. But yeah, at Southwest Texas State, you're right, it was a round building in a moat. Still is. I think they have another theater building now. But I just knew I wanted to be an actor. And I didn't quite know how I was going to do that. But I knew I would just keep doing plays and keep meeting people at 1:00 in the morning to rehearse their graduate projects.

But the actor was funny? The actor was going to be doing comedy?

Yeah, I kind of— I was into all of it and still am into all of it. I also enjoy drama. I think doing comedy and drama are almost the same thing. And I think that as long as it's true and you mean it, both can Both can be delivered from just a place of truth inside of you. But I don't know that I had honed in. I definitely liked being funny, but I don't know that I was leaning so hard that way. Not until I came, not until I started doing improv did I sort of start to feel like, Oh yeah, that's my way.

Who'd you come up with at the Groundlings, and who awed you?

Oh wow, so many people awed me. Well, I came up with— so my sort of senior class when I was in the Sunday Company was me, Mikey Day, who's on SNL now and hosts Is It Cake?, and my friend Drew Droege, who's this amazing actor and just had a a show off-Broadway called Messy White Gays. So I was with two really awesome funny guys coming up. And then the people who I really, really looked up to, I mean, the list is so— the list is so long. I was blown away by Jim Rash. I was blown away by Melissa McCarthy. I was blown away by Kevin Kirkpatrick. I was blown away by Mitch Silpa. I was blown away by Wendy McLennan Covey. I would like just, I literally could just keep making a list.

Did it make you doubt at all the amount of, if you're being awed by everyone around you, did it create doubt or it was just, you weren't doing competition?

No, it made me feel like— from the second I first saw a show there, it made me feel like, "I have to be part of this," because it was so leaning into what I already liked from growing up, which is I liked characters, and I liked specific characters. And the fact that they were so obviously leaning into that. And the, the women I was watching weren't— there was no hesitation to look insane or completely, uh, weird, or, you know, have some crazy wig on and not look anything like yourself. Um, yeah, I just, I liked the I liked the ballsiness of all of it and the complete like, yeah, fuck self-consciousness. Funny is funny.

What was happening in your childhood though that made you gravitate toward these characters? Were you a child that was always impersonating people? What were you doing in terms of how you were honing the child creativity where you're discovering that this is something that you crave?

Yeah. I think it's a mix of a couple of things. Part of it was growing up in Texas and there just being a large number of characters around me. And I think part of that is just the South in general is kind of rich that way in that.

So the child you is noticing, I'm surrounded by weirdos.

Yeah. And loving it. And yeah, knowing I'm surrounded by just delicious weirdos. I don't know how I knew that at a young age, but I really did. Even if I was sort of afraid of something, I knew like, "Oh, this is good." I've always— and this is probably because I'm from a long line of, on my mom's side, of starers. We still have to tell my mom, "Jeannie, stop," because she will just get lost in wanting to stare at a couple at dinner and hear their whole conversation. I'm like, "I have that want too, but unlock your eyes." A long line of starers. Yes, all my aunts, all my cousins.

But you're not thinking as a kid, you don't have an eye also for content, do you? Or do you very early on, you're seeing these people are rich, life is cartoonish, and I want to embody the weirdness?

I think I wanted to embody the weirdness from very young. From first grade, crazily, I had a first grade teacher at my public elementary school who was, from the UK, and so she was this older woman with an accent, and which I still don't know why she was there, but I would go do her for my family, or we had this wild list of, my dad's father was sick, and we would go over there, Every other night we would go over there and basically be there from like after school until like 10 to help take care of him. And during the day though, there was this long line, long list of women who would come and be like the day person. And some of them lived there. And 'cause then they would sort of take over the late night. And look, I— God bless them, but so many of them, and I don't know why, I don't know if it's where we were, I don't know if it's that, that, you know, my mom and dad and my uncles and whoever needed to get the most affordable option. I don't know what the deal was, but they were all wild, wild.

And I used to like to do them for my family. And I think maybe from early on I realized that it can kind of, kind of take the pressure off as well. Like, if, if we're all feeling stressed out and/or worried or sad, it's a little dangerous to do, you know, this woman who's taking care of my grandfather who you know, seemed 7 feet tall and had enormous boobs and like used to like catch the rainwater coming off the house to wash her hair and like let her dog eat from the inside of her mouth. She'd put ice cream in her mouth and like let the dog lick it out from the inside. It all sounds so dark, but something in me from very little knew like, oh yeah, if I do them, Or if I do the weird silent one with a braid down past her ass. Something about it takes some pressure off of my parents and makes us all laugh.

You have to do more with those characters. It seems like this is after Playgirl because it seems like you've been doing a one-woman show since whatever this age was.

Maybe, kind of.

Like, this is just what you're doing now in adulthood is just recreating whatever it is you were as a kid. That's why it's the playground it is. It's for you. So you have all of these characters and you're instantaneously getting affection, applause, affirmation because they're all funny. And so you're allowed from very early on to embody the weird, like you're allowed to get comfortable with weird.

Yeah, for sure. For sure.

That's not normal in childhood. I think most kids are trying to fit in, right?

Totally, which I definitely, that I was, the weird was embraced early on from my family. And definitely I had like phases at school where I was like, "Oh God, I'm very different than everyone else here." But I feel like performing for them and then doing certain things and then performing at school, like literally doing a performance at school, helped me to go like, "Okay, that's who I am." And definitely I felt like, "Oh, being funny is part of who I am at school." And what age was that?

Because there's real confidence in however it is you got— there could be doubts in all sorts of other places, but to know who you are, what you want at an early age is like a great deal of the pie chart on how you get to happy.

Huge, yeah. Yeah, um, I would say 7th grade we had a thing called Class Day that was basically a talent show. And, uh, me and some other girls that I knew wrote a Dating Game parody, and we were playing the guys, and one of the girls was playing the girl voting on us, and I was playing a nerd. And we had written the thing and we were going to perform And I just remember the feeling of the auditorium full of kids dying laughing every time I would say a word or do something. And I remember thinking, like, "Oh, okay. Well, this is it for me. So I have to figure out how to make this a job." And I had no idea. And so then when I could, I did plays at school. But doing plays at school was the only outlet to figure out what I was doing.

Yeah, but that's what school's for right there. 100%. No one gets that feeling in college, in 7th grade, or anywhere else. Totally. The feeling where you get lightning struck on this is what I must be doing. Totally. I have no other choices.

Yeah.

7th grade? That's crazy to know that.

It's crazy. It's crazy.

Because then you can just start chasing it right then.

Totally. Just keep going toward it and just knowing, like, well, I'm just gonna keep going toward this. I'm never gonna stop doing this. So—

When you think with that faraway look on the phases of childhood where you realize, oh, I'm not like these people at all, what are you thinking of there? Like, what are the—

Well, definitely when I was really little, I had a phase where I was very shy except with my family. And then later, like, around 5th grade or something, I feel like I went through like an existential depression that I didn't even understand. I didn't even want to say out loud.

5th grade.

5th grade.

5th grade existential depression. What is that?

Like fully, what is this? Am I a person? I remember I used to look at kids in my neighborhood playing and, you know, doing stuff in the street or whatever. And I used to think, how— what are they doing? How do they know how to do that? How can— what is that? It was very existential. What is all of this? What is God? What is— What is time like? And then there would be weird— um, fifth grade. I told my mom way later and she was like, what?

Yeah, I'm still like, what?

Yeah, very, very weird. And it had, um, yeah, and I used to— God, this is way TMI— I used to like say tangible things in my head to bring me back to earth. Like, I had this bike that I had wanted for a long time. I had this really cool— it was like a BMX and freestyle bike. I didn't know how to do either of those things. I just liked the aesthetic of the bike.

They were good bikes.

Yeah. And I'd saved up up and gotten it, and it was a white Kuwahara. I don't know if you remember those.

Well, the BMXs were the golden— they were the golden bicycle of childhood.

Yeah, but I had like pegs on it and all these things to do tricks. I didn't know how to do any of that. I loved the aesthetic of skateboarding and BMX and just thought all the boys who did it were really cute, but I couldn't really do either thing. But I had this kuwahara, and that was part of when I would start to feel super floaty, I would say that in my head, 'cause it was a real thing in the world. Or sometimes I could, listening to the radio or the TV would make me feel like, "Okay, I'm in the world." It was truly an existential depression.

So you're articulating in some ways that you might think you're an alien. Like that, or that you are somewhere in the realm of how do these humans learn how to do these human things? And you're trying to figure out if you fit with them and then realize quite quickly no one else is thinking about this, so I don't.

Yeah, kind of. I don't know if I had the thought of alien, but definitely I thought like, whoo, they all know something I don't, for sure.

But you're embracing that as well though, right? Like you're, at 7th grade, it's— so if you're saying existential depression in 5th grade, right? No, in 5th grade. But I'm— if you're spending that time in 5th grade and then in 7th grade realizing what you want to do with your life because you're lightning struck, whatever's been happening in your life to that point doesn't have meaning, but now it does.

Like, right? Yeah.

If you know what you want, if you're being told in 7th grade that you know exactly what you want.

Yeah, for sure. And, and thankfully my my parents were always, um, ah, God, I don't even know the wording, but I always felt like, I always felt like being true to yourself was the, the main thing to go for, which is kind of wild. So I knew even when it was hard that that's the main thing I should keep.

But how'd you know that?

I think they taught me it.

But you think they taught you it or what?

Well, I know they did. I just don't know how they did.

I mean, it seems like a wonderful gift for parents to give a child. Totally.

But even when there were certain trends going on or if the people I was around at school seemed like they were being mean or there's phases especially as a girl, certain phases where other girls can be so mean and weird.

But what you're describing is acceptance and belief, right? It's not even just support. It's really many of the ingredients you'll find in love.

Yeah. But it's like, God, what am I trying to say? I just knew, like, 'Oh, just even if this feeling sucks, just keep thinking what you think,' which is crazy that they imbued that.

Well, that it's okay to be you, correct?

Yes.

As long as you know it.

Even when no one is making you feel like it's okay to be you.

I mean, but that explains a lot, right? If these things are supposed to be biographical and people are wondering, 'Well, how did she become Judy Jemso?' Well, it was allowed. It was allowed.

Yeah, it was allowed in my house for sure.

I mean, that's parents doing a good job on getting— I don't know that there is any sort of lottery that someone could win than parents being able to give them something that gives them their own keys to happiness.

Totally.

Lovely talking to you.

Man, you too, Danny.

Playgirl is the play. It is a brave choice by her. I love that she made it. Thank you for the time. I do appreciate it.

Thanks, Dan.