Transcript of QBs To Start In a Pinch | Local Hour

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Holy hell, we did it! Yeah, we did it! How about us?

Go us!

What is it, Mike? What is it today?

Uh, you know, I was expecting this question from you, and all I have to say is Elvis Grbac.

Oh, shit.

That's what I have to say.

You're GD right. Oh my God. You're 100% right. Look at this, look at that. I got, I got on a football shirt to celebrate Football Friday. Does anybody know who I'm wearing right now? He's a Notre Dame alum, made his way to the Rams, and then finished his career with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Go!

You're talking about the Bus.

Number 36, Jerome Bettis. It's all happening. The U is in Palo Alto as we speak. It's a college football weekend. Is it Week 0? Is it Week 2? Who gives a good goddamn? It's football season, everybody.

Yeah!

Jeremy Taché. Let's take a quick look at him, can we? Let's see what he has going on. It's a big day for you, Taché. Do you want to go into it right now? Sure, let's, uh, let's clap it up first. I mean, I, I don't think we should. It's a Football Friday, but we can clap it up here. It's a Football Friday! Okay. All right. All right. Take it away, Tashway. We got a new single coming out right now. It's live everywhere on Apple Music. We got the Diary of a— Get closer to the microphone, please. Diary of a Personable Fella is out now. You could see the album cover on there. That's the new single from yours truly. It's really from the heart. You know, I have always felt like a, like a Southern boy, like a country boy. And for me, this was just a message of authenticity, of the green lights that I've received all the way through, how the establishment has always loved me. What? Can we clap it up?

Can we clap it up?

So if y'all want to take a listen, we could take a listen to The Diary of a Personable Fella out now on Apple Music. Let's do it, Yance. But won't tell you how I lean, so just wave like this. Healthcare would be chill. Everybody in the club, put your hands up. Wave hello to the personable fella. Everybody in the club, put your hands up. Wave alone in surprise and hope up there to love. My accent's real and sounds like I'm a con. Hey, all right, all right, all right, I'm faking it, okay. Because I'm nice, nobody calls me out. In fact, they give me confidence to sing triplets, and I wonder if it's time I should rap. 'Cause I've always been so established, man. Who they always gonna pick when I'm an applicant? Ah, that was great. All right, that's just a little snippet. We'll have the full song for you later in the show with lyrics and everything, but that's a snippet for you right here off the top.

Let's clap it up.

Yep.

Jeremy, that sounds good. I have a little bit of feedback, just a little bit.

Yep.

Joe Jerevicius.

Yeah.

I hear you, Mike. You know what? Right now I have to give you Louie Lips. Oh, Louie Lips? Louie Lips indeed. And I'm gonna throw in Pete Metzelars. All right.

You're a little out of my depth here. We're getting in the '90s?

Chris Coe. Oh, listen, I'll go way back, friend. I'll go, I'll dip into the '70s if I have to on your ass. Listen, Chris Cody, we have to do a fantasy draft, but you want to do— as long as we have it done by Wednesday when things kick off in Australia, Rams and Niners, we have all the time in the world, but you want to try to take care of business ASAP.

Yeah, you were talking about doing it after the show, doing one of those slow drafts. No, no, no, no, no. We're doing this in-show. The draft's about to start. GQ's on the clock, so we'll get this rolling. I'll let you know when you're up.

Well, this puts me at a distinct disadvantage because I have to probably talk more than you do over the next couple of hours.

Yeah, about who you're taking first overall.

Right. So I'm handicapped in a way, but that's fair. I think that's, uh, that'll bring us to the same level here. Uh, Mike Ryan, you're outfitted in the, in the green and orange of the Canes enthusiasm.

Jeremy, you're up on the clock.

All right, y'all. Yeah, it's game day. -24.5. You laying it? You laying it in Palo Alto?

I'm gonna do that. Yes, I am gonna, I am gonna do that. And how, Mike, um, how confident are you? Because it does seem to align for me based on the ACC, the way it shapes up, 12 teams and all of that. The Canes almost certainly can't miss the playoff at this point, right? Do you want to guarantee it?

It's, uh, winning the ACC, it's almost non-negotiable. That's enough of that bullshit.

Should we take out the 10-foot pole? And see if you are certain that the Canes are going to be in the playoffs.

So here's my hot take. I think 2 ACC teams get in.

Wow.

I do.

You know why?

Why?

Because I like Jeff Brohm a lot as a head coach, and I think Louisville is going to be damn good. And I think they're going to show the world this weekend against Ole Miss.

I feel like— and this is true also in the NFL— there are a couple of games right out of the gate that will completely swing my assumptions about what the 2026 season's going to look like, and that would be right at the top. I think of all the results that can happen in college football this weekend, if Louisville dumps Ole Miss—

It's Louisville.

I said Louisville. Louisville.

Louisville.

Louisville.

That's right. You got it. Finally. Yes. All right, good.

Right. If they— if Ole Miss loses, now the SEC is in some real jeopardy, more than it already is. All the cynics out there saying the SEC's prime time has come and gone, the Big Ten rules college football. If Ole Miss loses to Louisville— Louisville. Louisville. Yeah. Ole—

Yeah, that establishes a narrative. So like the last few seasons, to me, the most important narrative game has been Georgia-Georgia Tech. And Georgia Tech's been right, right there at a time in the calendar where you really could have used that ACC victory over the SEC. Got screwed by the refs 2 years ago in one of the greatest games ever played. Carson Beck and Haynes King going back and forth.

Mm-hmm.

Last year was a great game. I think this year's like Georgia Tech-Georgia Memorial narrative game. is right out the gates with Ole Miss and Louisville.

Wow.

And you are here to say— Put the town on alert.

That's what I'm here to say.

You're saying Louisville is—

I'm saying put the town on alert. Yeah, I'm saying the Louisville Cardinals.

Straight-up winners in week whatever this is, week 0 or 1. Louisville over Ole Miss.

Do you watch Georgia Tech last night rooting for the ACC?

I do. I don't think either of those teams last night are good. I thought there would be way more points.

Yeah.

But that, you know, Mendoza, not, not the same as his bro.

It is wild looking at it. Like, his eyes through the helmet look exactly the same.

Moves exactly the same. Same exact throwing motion.

That D-line for Colorado is so small. Like, just really, really tight that you can't win anything like that.

Does your heart go out, though, to Fernando's brother to know that you are from the same loins? and you throw and look exactly the same, but it doesn't all add up to the same high quality? Do you think he has self-esteem issues? Which is ironic because he's the starting quarterback of a major college football team, and yet he has to feel small at Thanksgiving.

I hate to interrupt, but you're on the clock.

I mean, I don't have time really to be making draft picks. Who's off the board already? No one cares about your fantasy team, so why would we be talking? What pick do I have?

You're the 8th pick. It went Gibbs, Chase, Bijan, McCaffrey, Nkua, JSN, St. Brown. Now you're on the clock.

Your Mendoza point is valid, but had, had you even considered for a second, Coy Detmer?

First of all, let me say this. Jonathan Taylor.

That's what you're looking at.

Okay. Him or James Cook. Okay. I just said it.

But that's not how drafts work.

You got to push the button.

I don't have time to push buttons for you.

I'm saying it out loud, I can't draft for you. Only you have control of that.

I want Johnny Taylor. I'm logging in, an email.

Guys, just let's take a breath. And London Fletcher. London Fletcher.

I mean, AJ McCarron. You know?

That's a Saturday-ass name. I was on Sundays, but God bless you.

The other big game, Mike, and, uh, and everybody else out there, is Clemson and LSU, and it really begs the question for me, is this the most college football-y, um, Alien vs. Predator game we've seen in quite some time? Whoever wins, we lose. Who's to root for? Which of these 2 tigers—

Ah, dude.

—is more loathsome to the world at large?

Which Death Valley? This one's easy. This is already, because of his behavior and everything that just happened, As recent as yesterday. Hey, the NCAA lost in a courtroom. What? What? What? This is already a must-win game for Lane Kiffin.

What?

Already. Can you imagine? No, like, seriously, have you considered a world in which Lane Kiffin out the gates in Baton Rouge loses? It's a possibility.

I'm trying to think.

It is a distinct possibility. That Lane Kiffin is already on the hot seat if he loses this game.

Is Lane Kiffin the ultimate— you know, when you think about villains in life, in movies and in real life, the lunch ladies are probably the most— they have the least juice among villains in your life. You know, they lord over lunchtime, but they have no authority outside of the cafeteria. I don't know if the lunch ladies— LSU— but Lane Kiffin Is the, is the least powerful villain that we've seen in some time, right? What's he ever done to, to earn this fear that we have of him?

Uh, just betray a bunch of fan bases. That's all he's— that's all he's done. Also—

Not FAU. I think we like him.

One of the things we've lost over the most recent decades is the lunch lady is no longer a villain. It's a dated reference. I don't think like—

What?!

Jeremy, you ever have an issue with your lunch lady? Do you even remember a lunch lady?

Nah, not down at, uh, Everglades Elementary.

Why are you talking like that?

I don't know. I don't really watch him. You remember Ernie Fats Holmes? Bet Mike Ryan does. Knows Ty Detmer. I know that much.

In a pinch.

What is the— so the outcome here is I completely agree with you. In a pinch, if LSU— I'm trying to think of, of Jumpy Gathers is who I think I was trying to summon there.

You write down your top 5 quarterbacks that you trust in a pinch. You do that right now.

In-a-pinch quarterbacks, guys who you don't want just all, but just in a pinch.

In a pinch. Only in a pinch. This is like they come in, check in the middle of the game, they can move the ball. But if they game plan for you, you're toast. Gardner Minshew.

Let's go back and forth.

You're speaking my love language.

Go ahead.

Ryan Fitzpatrick.

In a pinch. In a pinch, he was really good. In a pinch.

More than a pinch.

Yeah. How about this? Neil O'Donnell.

Ooh, okay. McNair would go out often.

Talk to me.

Neil O'Donnell would come in. Serviceable. Went to a Super Bowl. I trust Neil O'Donnell.

But when he was the main man expected to carry the day—

He made it to a Super Bowl.

He threw it to Larry Brown.

Yeah, he lost that Super Bowl. But he made it to a Super Bowl, and then he was like a career backup who can move the ball.

Right. It shows the limits of his powers. In a pinch, terrific. Full meal, not as good. TJ Yates in a pinch.

In a pinch.

In a pinch. A backup who started more playoff games than any backup I can think of that didn't advance. Hot take, hot take. Mac Jones.

I trust him in a pinch now.

Yeah, now he's— he, he went from not in a pinch, but now in a pinch. Yes.

You know what I'm putting down right now? Case Keenum. Put it down.

Oh, all right. I see, I see your Case Keenum and I raise you Mike Tomczak.

Oh, okay. I didn't mean to play hardball, but in a pinch, you know, Jeff Garcia. Oh, in a pinch? Are you kidding me? Oh wow, you have a former Pro Bowler in a pinch, you can take that any day.

Okay, pinch.

JP Lossman?

No, no, no, I just wanted to play. I just wanted to say the game. Not, not in a pinch, not ever.

Okay, but have you considered just generally Austin Colley?

In general? All right, hang on.

Swishing around a little bit. I like it. We're in Miami. I feel obliged to say the obvious one, the king of this category in a pinch, Don Strock. Yeah, right.

Yeah. Well, none of us were alive.

Yeah, I know him. Mike Pagel.

Tony just texted me Davis Mills.

Oh, in a pinch. Yeah. Damon Huard. In a pinch?

Hmm, Brock Huard?

No, but Damon Huard.

Yes.

In a pinch.

Am I doing the Jeff Garcia thing again with John Kitna? That's too much.

No, no, Kitna. Kitna, yes. Kitna in a pinch.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna just put this out there. Charlie Batch. Oh yeah, you know what? Yeah.

Might be the pinchest of pinches.

Yeah.

That may be the most excited I've ever seen Roy.

That was a big pinch.

Wo gibt's eigentlich die weißen Rosen aus Athen? Und wo regnet's für mich nochmal rote Rosen? Natürlich im Europa-Rosarium Sangerhausen mit der größten Rosensammlung der Welt. Viele tausend Rosenarten warten auf Sie mit prachtvollen Blüten und herrlichem Duft. www.rosarium.de. Dan Le Batard!

You're gonna go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmley, Mike Ryan and the Jags! This is the Dan Le Batard Show.

Hey, I know we have a lot of football to talk about, but I'm sorry—

But before you get to it, Bruce Gradkowski.

Okay, listen, I see you're Gradkowski. I'm not gonna push back on that. I was seeing though the other day the new episode of Lanterns. I wanna talk about the game of football, but also I keep my eye on the game of life. And I was watching Lanterns and there was a scene that really offended me. Don't worry, no spoiler alerts here about the plot, but One of the Green Lantern guys had to go meet some military guy at a restaurant, and he gets there and the military guy is already in the middle of his meal. And as the Green Lantern guy sits down, he says, I ordered you a steak and a beer. First of all, have you ever had anybody order food for you? I think this— I'd be wildly offended and I would have to stop the meeting, the purpose of the meeting, to weigh in on how dare you. order food for me.

I've been at a nice restaurant where somebody who's like been to this restaurant a bunch is like, I got this, guys. Yeah, like, we don't— no thanks.

Thank you for the— thank you for the thought. Thank you though, I'll handle my own ordering. I mean, has this ever happened to you, Mike? Like, the— like, first of all, you ordered me a beer. I don't know if you heard, I just got out of rehab, man. Like, uh, thanks for that. And this— and a steak? How do you know I'm not vegetarian?

I, I like it when people order at a restaurant that they're familiar with. Jesus take the wheel kind of deal.

Really?

Yeah, this has happened Yeah, no, I dig it. Like, I've never been here before, you have, you do the thing.

I'm not that picky. Are you picky? Sounds like you're picky.

I like to be in charge of my own menu order because I am— on my life resume, the thing I do best— I'm one of the great urban walkers I've ever known. Like, I can take a long walk through a city without ever coming to a full stop. I'm one of the great— I'm one of the top 10 remote control operators I've ever known when watching TV. But the thing I am number one at doing among all the people I've ever known is ordering food at a restaurant. Nobody orders food at a restaurant better than I do, by my experience at least. So yes, I'd like to be in charge of that. But then, so they have their little meeting, they go back and forth, oh, it's very important you go kill somebody for me.

When you're doing that, do you think about Carl Pickens?

I just focus in, I just try to go right down the middle and go John Riggins. Or I mean, I'll do Pete Johnson in a pinch if I have to. Maybe Larry Kinnabrew, maybe.

How about a little Tony Saragusa?

Nah, more Toby Gerhardt. More Toby Gerhardt.

We're speaking the same language.

Yeah, I mean, I guess Burt Grossman, but either way, the guy— then they have the, you gotta go kill the guy. All right, I'm gonna go kill the guy. And then he gets up and he leaves with the steak and beer untouched. Roy, what kind of behavior is this? Like, I was like, all right, I got the assignment, I'm gonna go do it right now, goodbye. But before I do, can you wrap up that steak for me real quick? Can you get me a doggy bag so I can take that with me? Who leaves an untouched steak and beer? How say you, Roy?

Yeah, put that in a box, bring that with me.

Yeah, that's right. I mean, listen, that doesn't mean that I am not focused on the matter at hand. I understand the task you have assigned to me, but also I wanna take that steak with me. It could be a long flight to wherever I have to go. I don't know which behavior I was more offended by, so let's go with a tie. Both. Both of the above. Don't order food for me in a restaurant. Also, I'm not gonna leave the food that was ordered for me, whether I ordered it or somebody ordered it for me, I'm not gonna just leave it behind untouched, 'cause that's rude and weird. John Kitna.

What?

Matt Schaub.

What?

Frank Reich. What?

Mark Bulger.

What?

Seneca Wallace.

What?

Nick Foles.

What?

Some good ones in there.

Strong.

Nick Foles has to be the all-timer in a pinch.

Ooh.

Nick Foles, yeah. Did we get a Frank Reich yet?

Yeah.

Yeah, he's the guy.

We got Reich in there. We got Reich in there. With the hurricane season about to kick off here and also hurricane season upon us, I think that we really— this is a longstanding idea.

Ironically, Reich went third.

He did, eh? Good shout, good shout. Good knowledge of history, American history, world history. Speaking of the US of A though, I think that— UNC Thigpen?

Hey!

Oh yeah.

Yeah. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, you like that.

I think that what we should do is with our hurricanes, because I— what's the latest hurricane going around now?

Dolly was a—

Edward? Did I just see Edward?

It was Cristobal and then Dolly.

Dolly. Yeah. Like, you know, Dolly was a great humanitarian. If she destroyed your home, a hurricane wrecking your house would be ruinous enough.

It does ruin names.

I agree with that point.

Yeah. Like Wilma.

Do you need— do you need then the humiliation of having your home wrecked by Dolly? You know, that's, that's an extra layer.

It was a classic because we had one summer where Katrina actually hit us first. Sorry, it's emotional. Sorry, Coby Fleener. We had Katrina hit us first, did some damage, and then Wilma, that bitch came through and cleaned everything up. And there was like a famous Miami New Times cover, which was Wilma Flintstone with just like the word Over her face. That was pretty cool.

I think, you know, it's very strange that we just go through an alphabetical list of names that we all identify as except— and we got— I don't want my house destroyed by Hurricane Seth. I would feel a little bit better about it if we tapped into the natural resource that is pro football or football player names. You know, Mike, you're already ahead of the game here.

Kevin Cobb.

Kevin Cobb is a great one to tap into. And you know what? That makes me think of John Kolb, because you think Cobb, Kolb, spelled the same way, but there's Reggie Cobb, you know.

Where are you on Swedish Fish?

There's Reggie Rucker as well, you know, number 33. I think what we should do is—

There was a Frosty Rucker, no?

Frosty Rucker, yeah, USC.

Frosty Rucker. And how about Reggie Tong? Yeah? Yeah? No?

Wait, hold—

Think about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do that. I think what we should do is, though, there are great names in football. I wouldn't feel as bad if my— I went up, I did my best, but I lost out, my home lost out to Hurricane Dabrikasha. Right? Like, that, that at least has some dignity to it, you know? Oh, what, what, what hap— oh my God, what, what, why are you set— well, my house, I don't know, long story, terrible. At least we got out with our loved ones, that's what's most important. What happened? Hurricane Mean Joe, you know? Hurricane Mean Joe happened. Oh well, not a surprise. Hurricane Dick. I think these are—

There hasn't been a Hurricane Dick.

What about Hurricane Haha? Clinton did it.

Yeah, no. Yeah, we know who he is. Yeah, familiar.

I like it.

Hurricane Young Ho.

Young Wei. It's pronounced Young Wei. What?

It's spelled— damn. Hurricane Uwe. Oh yeah, Uwe von Schaum.

Friend of the show.

Hurricane Booger.

Hurricane Darryl.

See, Cody gets it. Who's up in the draft, Cody?

Zaslow, who's I think on a plane, so this might be difficult.

Hit him up.

It is a must-win for Lane.

I agree with that. Now, Logan Ryan. Mike, you raised the issue a couple weeks ago, and so it caused me to do some research. You were very upset that the Pittsburgh Steelers, nay, the city of Pittsburgh and all its sports teams, claim to wear black and gold, not black and yellow. It's black and yellow. And it offended you.

Yeah, it's yellow. That's not what gold looks like. Gold looks like what's on the New Orleans Saints. Well, it looks like what's on Notre Dame's helmet.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. In the Big Ten, the, the different ways of gold are representations of gold. The gold/yellow schools are Oregon Lightning Yellow, and then there's Michigan Maize, and there's Iowa Hawkeye Gold, USC Gold, Minnesota Gold. UCLA Westwood Gold, Boilermaker Gold, and Husky Gold.

So Boilermaker is gold, UCLA is gold, USC and the Hawkeyes, that's yellow.

Yellow.

Yeah, it's yellow.

Well, the real, the real plague— people talk about the SEC and it's diminished. I think the real issue is too much maroon or however you want to describe it, because dig, Alabama wears crimson, not cardinal. Arkansas wears cardinal, not crimson. South Carolina is garnet. Texas A&M and Mississippi State are maroon. Ole Miss is cardinal red. Georgia is bulldog red. Oklahoma is crimson. The Stanford Cardinal aren't named for a bird but for the color cardinal, and it's relevant because they're about to play the Canes who wear orange. In the SEC, you have Tennessee orange, you have burnt orange of Auburn, you have Florida UF orange, and you have Texas burnt orange.

Alright, alright, alright.

It's just called UF orange?

No, no, the one— did you catch the bulldog Red. That's some bullshit. Yeah, that's bullshit. Georgia, it's not Bulldog Red. It's red. Yeah.

Get the fuck out of here. Also Matt Castle. Yeah. What? I like that one. Steve Entman, you know. Oh yeah, you tickled Roy.

Oh yeah.

Wo gibt's eigentlich die weißen Rosen aus Athen? Und wo regnet's für mich noch mal rote Rosen? Natürlich im Europa. Europa Rosarium Sangerhausen, mit der größten Rosensammlung der Welt. Viele tausend Rosenarten warten auf Sie, mit prachtvollen Blüten und herrlichem Duft. www.rosarium.de.

Dan Levitar.

I'll go with this one.

Dave Demacek.

It has come time now. This is the Dan Levitar Show. What are we doing with the, with the SEC all claiming the same color but then also claiming, no, no, it's a different color?

I am legit mad at Bulldog Red. That is, that is such horseshit.

The best one is that Indiana and Alabama wear the exact same color, but one describes it as crimson and the other one describes it as— my brain is confused about who claims what, but it's the exact same color. But they attempt to distinguish, no, no, it's our color alone, even though there is evidence of— yeah, USC wears cardinal and the Hoosiers wear crimson, but it's the exact same color. If you got the chip, if you went to the paint store, you would request the exact same thing.

I feel like Indiana's just a little bit more red.

Well, you think wrong.

Yeah?

Yeah, you think wrong.

Do they call themselves Crimson?

No, I mean, I call them Von Dunbar, Trent Green, things of that nature.

Oh, Trent Green, one of the great what-ifs, right?

Yes.

That's a different game. I'll put him down for that one too.

No, no, no. Dave loves that, hopping in the time machine. They still won the Super Bowl, yeah? You remember how good Trent Green looked in that preseason?

I do. And then he made you look smart if you said, oh, he would have done the same thing because Dick Vermeil then takes over the Kansas City Chiefs and installs, as a man of justice, Trent Green. Now it's your turn to do the same thing Kurt Warner, the bag boy, did. And he almost did get it across the line. Dick Vermeil.

Yeah. Dick Vermeil almost did get it across the line.

Carlos Carson. Uh, Gus Verrocchio. Christian Okoye got it across the line a lot.

Did Gus Verrocchio get it across the line?

Oh yeah. Also Alabama and Indiana both claim crimson.

So do crimson and cream— does anybody claim crimson and cream? Because they're kind of like off-white, right? Yeah, it's a little cream.

Crimson and white or cream. No, crimson and cream for Indiana Hoosiers.

That's cool to say. I dig that. You don't— you're surprised by that, Dave? You're a Hoosier.

Then maybe that's what I'm thinking.

Crimson and cream.

Crimson and cream. I dig that. That's right, y'all. And then Bama claims Crimson.

Crimson and Cream sounds like your Friday night.

But USC claims Cardinal. Tony Banks.

In a pinch. In a pinch. What?

Trent Dilfer, I guess. In a pinch.

I mean, he won a Super Bowl. You can't be an in-a-pinch guy. David Woodley.

In a pinch. No, not in a pinch. No, no. He is, in fact, the late David Woodley is the correct answer. When people like to say Trent Dilfer, worst starting quarterback in Super Bowl history? The correct answer is in fact either David Woodley or Rex Grossman.

Rex in a pinch.

David Gerrard in a pinch?

In a pinch, sir.

Oh, David Gerrard in a pinch.

More than a pinch.

Yeah. AJ Feeley in a pinch?

Only in a pinch. Andy Reid is, let's be real about this, the king of my guys in a pinch.

That's exactly right. Yes. In a pinch, Andy Reid is the correct answer to that question.

Amen, brother.

As a 12-year-old looking really large playing with kids. You ever remember that video? Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Goddamn it, I love football.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Deep dive. In a pinch, Steve DeBerg.

Steve DeBerg.

Right.

Steve DeBerg was always 42 years old. Fumbles out the womb, 42 years old.

Same as Gary Danielson.

42 years old.

Todd Blackledge.

Steve DeBerg is still 42 years old.

So Mike, what are you gonna do to celebrate once you leave here? How are you gonna settle in for Canes football, the launch of it up in Palo Alto?

I'm really gonna pay attention to this game. I'm not gonna go to a bar or anything like that. No, no, no. I'm gonna watch this one on my couch, take notes, and See, you know, this is like—

Friday night opening game at home?

You know, we always say we don't know what we're looking at when it comes to football. So I'm really trying to learn what I'm looking at. I talk to coaches. I'm trying to figure out what the fuck is going on out there. And so I'm trying to make sure what I saw in practice translates on the field because there's a lot of guys that I think flash. But practice is difficult, Dave Damashek, because we're going up against our own guys. And so like anytime a guy makes a big play, I'm like, that's a great play. That guy's good. But does the other guy suck?

Yeah.

It's tough, man. What a great stand by the defense. Does our offense suck?

Yep. It's tough.

So I want to beat up on Stanford a little bit. The spread right now is 24.5, and I want to kick their asses. I want to see backups. You know, one of the things about last year is Mario Cristobal learned late. in the season, style points matter. He's not that kind of guy. He doesn't do the style points and we don't play the kind of style that's just, you know, destroy you. I think Mario Cristobal learned from this offseason. In fact, happened to know style points matter.

I think this is exactly right. As I watched the Mizzou last night, the standard was not, are you going to beat the hell out of this team? How severely? What, what level of hell are you going to take this other team into? Because obviously it's not a contest. The spread, I think, was 54.5 and they scored 54 points. I legitimately was watching that game thinking exactly what you're sort of describing with what you want to see from the Canes. Like, not enough of an ass whooping.

No, I want to, I want to beat the shit out of Stanford. And the spread is 24.5. Oregon, number 2 team in the nation. I know Boise, a better reputation, I think. But at home, the spread is the same. We're on the road and we're favored by 24.5 points. You know what a throttling that is expected to be. Yeah, I want to see, I want to see third stringers. I want to see guys that I have to go to the roster sheet to see. Yeah, that's what I want to see.

Do you feel happy about where the program is right now? The, um, the, uh, sort of what we were talking about a couple of days ago, the idea that maybe, and this is a good thing ultimately if you're a fan of the U, which is you go Cam Ward and now There are questions going into year 2 for Cam Ward. Is he a bust? You know, premature to get into that kind of—

Is that fair?

No, not at all. I'm on a garbage team, but it is a harbinger of what may face Malik Willis. Like when we expect you to stink and then you get through the stinking and people are like, man, you really stunk. Like, yeah, I thought that was what we all accepted. We all knew that was going to happen going in. I do think that that's a reality that Malik Willis and Halfley and everybody else is going to be confronting in January. Yeah, we— yeah, I know we went 2-15. What else did you think we were going to do?

Um, maybe my brain's broke, but I also don't think Cam Ward was like an either-or decision. Like, ah, I can't believe they drafted Cam Ward over blank, right? Like, if you don't go—

Well, I've heard the Tyler Shuck talk beginning. Really? That was the real gem of that. Tyler Shuck? I've had some people—

Tyler Shuck was in college for 17 years. Like, Tyler Shuck was not a— no one ever Tyler Shuck was not in the conversation. He wasn't as like a top 10 pick. Wasn't in the conversation. So like when we had my man that got banned from the Titans because he was a self-described ne'er-do-well and rabble-rouser, he like, who else would you have? Who else would you draft? You're upset about Cam Ward, but you don't have solutions.

No. Well, there's Jackson Dart is the other name out there.

Jackson Dart on the fence. Jackson Dart is fair. Tyler Shuck is not a real legitimate conversation. No one was talking about Tyler.

No. But the thing I will say about Tyler Shuck The thing about Chuck is I love when all the teams weighed in. Well, I mean, he's in his mid-20s already. So? I mean, what do you— if he gives you 10 years, what standard are you establishing in your brain? Nope, too old. 25 already. All right. I mean, you understand free agency and all the rest of it, right? If you got 10 good years out of a quarterback, that would be considered a successful draft pick. Cam Ward is in a weird spot because he's on a garbage team. Such a sucker. And now people are taking him to task as though He jumped on to the suck train that was already moving and now somehow he's responsible for the train sucking. It's the suck train, everybody.

Last year though, he— I don't think he was helping matters. I do think he was pressing. And when Cam Ward presses, when he doesn't have a good offensive line and doesn't have talent around him, that can reflect poorly on Cam because of the way his style of play is. He's always going to try to do too much. And when you're in a bad situation, it'll flash like, this guy's a reason when he's just trying to make a play. I think Cam Ward's going to be in the league for a very long time. I don't think he's going to be a superstar in Tennessee. I'm a little worried. I just don't think he's set up for success over there in the way that people's patience is in that league.

I think that's right. Yes.

Like, they're going to be picking high next year. Tennessee's not going to have a good season. And I think Cam Ward will show flashes. And what I hope for the young man is someone takes a chance on him next year. And I hate to be writing him off. If there's one person in the league you shouldn't, it's Cam Ward. But I think there's a really shitty situation.

He's the only— he's the only person. He's the number one person you shouldn't write off. I think that's a good list, too. People, guys you definitely shouldn't write off.

Well, Geno never wrote back famously.

That's right. But, you know, I always think about Sean Bradley when this comes up. He's a 7-foot-6 guy and they're like, he is not—

I did not have that name on my bingo card.

Well, I mean, it leads me into Malik Willis, but Sean Bradley—

It leads me into George Murasan.

Right. Well, I get that. That's a straighter line. The Sean Bradley thing, he gets drafted and they declare as he's drafted, he's a project. This is going to take 4 or 5 years before he develops, so everybody be patient. And then halfway through his first season, like, what the hell, man? Why isn't he better yet? That's what Malik Willis was. He's a project. It's going to take a minute. And I think he goes to the right NFL town or one of the right places to land if you are a quarterback who needs to develop a little bit. Cam Ward is not being afforded the same grace of you need some time to develop. But the U is in a spot where you could question now, if you're an NFL personnel guy, to look and say, are they doing something there? Because they go Cam Ward into Carson Beck, and now Mensah, I think, is going to take a run at the Heisman. And now it feels like to some extent it's the program that keeps doing this. And you know where else that's true? Indiana University. Let's see what Josh Hoover does now because—

Here we go.

Now you would have— I'm not, I'm not saying— That's a program. Well, I think there is something too, like, do you want the QB? Are we sure about Fernando, right? If Hoover's great by October and they're undefeated, do people in the NFL start saying like, uh-oh, we drafted Fernando, what we needed to do was hire Kurt Cignetti?

There were whispers when Pittsburgh had an opening that they were interested in talking to Signetti. There were whispers. Yeah. And look, this Mike McCarthy— Dave, Dave, you're a Steeler fan. You know how this Mike McCarthy thing is going to go.

How?

He's just keeping it warm.

Oh, yeah.

This is a transitional year.

How so? What do you mean?

He's not a good coach. You know how it plays out with Mike McCarthy.

I just completely disagree with that. He's not a good coach.

No, not a good coach. Bad coach. Bad coach and cost Aaron Rodgers at least one Super Bowl. At least.

You are on the side of Aaron Rodgers.

What Mike McCarthy did in Seattle for me would disqualify him from any job in that NFC Championship. What he did in that NFC Championship was one of the most fireable offenses. I couldn't believe they brought him back.

I don't think it's nice of you or kind, especially here on the first Football Friday of the season, to disparage Mike McCarthy. It was the football gods. They had it in for Aaron Rodgers and company. Speaking of Matt Flynn. It's the suck train, everybody!